Mysterious mistress

Fulham beat Liverpool! Luke and Jim are here to steady Marcus’ aunt by reminding him they’ll probably lose to Bournemouth next week. Oh, the cruel mistress that is the Premier League mid-table.

Elsewhere, “El Flapico” lived up to its billing as Crystal Palace and Brighton showed those Manchester slugs what a real derby should look like. Plus, José Mourinho has a reason to climb back into the laundry basket. Oh dear...

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