It's probably fair to say at this point that Wolverhampton Wanderers are as dead as a dodo. Two points from 17 games and staring relegation right down the barrel. But will they end up being the worst Premier League side we have ever seen? Marcus, David and Jim debate whether they can reach the lofty heights of Derby County's 11 Premier League points. Plus, should we embrace 'ultras' culture in England? In other news, the curse of Speller comes to light... Find us on Bluesky , X , Instagram , Tik...
Dec 23, 2025•41 min
Big Mama Premier League gifted us a barn-burning weekend right on the eve of Christmas. Gosh, we must have been good this year. Today, Marcus, David and Jim revel in the enjoyable chaos of Newcastle 2-2 Chelsea and the less-enjoyable chaos of Tottenham 1-2 Liverpool. Plus, David goes to war against 'modern football'... Gift a Football Ramble Patreon subscription this Christmas: https://www.patreon.com/footballramble/gift Find us on Bluesky , X , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here...
Dec 22, 2025•59 min
Thanks to the assistance of multiple NGOs, Luke has agreed to temporarily withdraw his troops from the My Biddy Aunt battleground. That allows the Kingdom of Spelgium to safely take on the Principality of Donaco under the watchful eye of Jimbabwe's international police force. Is it finally time for Pete to get a win on the board, or can Marcus continue to cement his place as the game's second best player? Find us on Bluesky , X , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballr...
Dec 19, 2025•22 min
How can Everton use glue to beat Arsenal? What did Wayne Rooney send Duncan Ferguson in prison? Have FIFA really started deciding the result of games by committee? Join Marcus, Jim and Pete for The Preview Show. Gift a Football Ramble Patreon subscription this Christmas: https://www.patreon.com/footballramble/gift Find us on Bluesky , X , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble.com . Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: h...
Dec 19, 2025•49 min
Marcus and Pete had to be kept apart after Newcastle and Fulham did battle last night. Today, they were joined by Jim to unpack another night of sweet Carabao. Elsewhere, Wilfried Nancy is the next manager to behave like a Facebook mum on social media. Plus, Jim launches a campaign to create an award for the highest overhead kick ever. Gift a Football Ramble Patreon subscription this Christmas: https://www.patreon.com/footballramble/gift Find us on Bluesky , X , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , ...
Dec 18, 2025•43 min
We’re into the business end of the Carabao! Although there wasn’t an upset last night, Marcus, Pete and Luke give Cardiff their dues for a spirited performance against the World Champions. Elsewhere, barns are still burning - and Kobbie Mainoo still isn’t free - after Man United drew 4-4 with Bournemouth on Monday. Plus, Marcus develops his five-year plan to get Brother Brendy to manage Fulham. Gift a Football Ramble Patreon subscription this Christmas: https://www.patreon.com/footballramble/gif...
Dec 17, 2025•53 min
It's going to cost a lot of money to go to this summer's World Cup. So what will happen to the atmosphere at games? And just how many people on X are going to tell you that it's actually perfectly justifiable to charge hundreds of dollars for a seat in Row Z? Marcus, Luke and David return to Friday's discussion about the true cost of the 2026 World Cup. Plus, is Unai Emery the best Premier League manager of the last five years apart from Pep? The lads also discuss which of the Prem's long-standi...
Dec 16, 2025•44 min
What’s more bleak? Newcastle’s derby day performance or the thought of Pete Donaldson spending his Sunday afternoon in an indie club? Today, Pete left Marcus, Luke and a very smug David Cartlidge a voicenote - from said indie club - with his unfiltered thoughts on proceedings. Plus, we take joy in the fallout between Jamie Carragher and Rio Ferdinand and start to wonder: are Arsenal having a wobble? Find us on Bluesky , X , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble....
Dec 15, 2025•1 hr 1 min
After weeks of feverish anticipation, Jack's Encyclopaedia returns! And there are a couple of absolute s**t-offs in this one... Pete of Donaco adjudicates a re-run of the Luke Nation vs the Kingdom of Speller. After a week of scrutiny, Mo Salah at last gets his own Jack's Encyclopaedia category, while Daryl Janmaat definitely doesn't. Poor Daryl. Come join us for the ultimate showdown of the weekend! Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: https://www.patr...
Dec 12, 2025•23 min
Pete’s got a new haircare routine! It’s got him in the mood to gorge on some festive Europa League action. Today, he's joined by Marcus and Luke for a delicious European buffet. Elsewhere, we tuck into the upcoming Tyne and Wear derby. Plus, the FIFA posse have announced their World Cup ticket prices and Samuel Eto'o has found himself in the middle of a quite baffling situation in Cameroon. Find us on Bluesky , X , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble.com . Sig...
Dec 12, 2025•55 min
A big night in the Champions League, but an even bigger night for the Official Martin Keown Fan Club here at the Football Ramble. Seriously though, it's gone too far. Pete, Jim and Luke pick over last night's action and crimes against commentary, plus Pete's incredibly well-received DJ sets in Topman. They then enter a surprisingly deep camel racing rabbit hole after Paul Pogba invests in a camel racing team. Are we fascinated? Yes. Do we think Graeme Souness' moustache should be transplanted on...
Dec 11, 2025•53 min
The Mo Salah drama rumbles on after Liverpool win in Milan with the Egyptian King ™ stuck in the gym at home. But why is Marc Cucurella really to blame for all of this? Marcus, Jim and David discuss that on today’s Ramble. Elsewhere, Pep Guardiola is unusually cheery as he stirs the already boiling pot at Real Madrid. Plus, Craig Bellamy doubles down on his feud with Jesse Marsch. Find us on Bluesky , X , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble.com . Sign up to th...
Dec 10, 2025•55 min
We all know that feeling. Standing there in the pouring rain, watching your team get absolutely battered and thinking to yourself, "what a massive waste of money." But should that mean you're entitled to your money back? Marcus, Luke and Jim are here to mull over that very question. Plus, is there too much emphasis on history in football, and in honour of Vish's trip down under, what's the furthest the lads have ever travelled only to end up incredibly disappointed? Find us on Bluesky , X , Inst...
Dec 09, 2025•47 min
On the latest edition of the Liverpool soap opera: Leeds grab a late equaliser and Mo Salah gives an explosive interview. Today, Marcus, Jim and Luke are on hand to unpick all of that. Plus, we offered a detailed assessment of Rio Ferdinand's World Cup draw hosting and ask the question on everyone’s lips: are Aston Villa on the verge? Find us on Bluesky , X , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble.com . Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for...
Dec 08, 2025•1 hr
Marcus and Jim watched the full World Cup draw so that you didn't have to... and reacted to it all live on YouTube! Join us for our takes on England's group, Scotland's group, and what can only be described as a truly, utterly bizarre couple of hours. We have thoughts... Find us on Bluesky , X , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble.com . Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: https://www.patreon.com/footballramble . ***P...
Dec 05, 2025•43 min
The World Cup draw is just a few hours away, but we couldn't leave you without a bit of Biddy Biddy to settle the nerves ahead of a night of chaos. In what is being billed across the world as an MBA relegation play-off, Jim and Pete go head-to-head to determine who really is the worst My Biddy Aunt player in the gang. Marcus is on the buttons for this bout between the Democratic Republic of Jimbabwe and the tax-free paradise of Donaco. Find us on Bluesky , X , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , an...
Dec 05, 2025•23 min
Stay away Krampus, Sir Jim Ratcliffe is allowing Man United to have a Christmas party! Until they lose 1-0 away to Wolves on Monday night anyway… Today, Marcus, Jim and Pete are here to celebrate on behalf of all the remaining Man United staff. Plus, we wonder what animal Pep Guardiola would be and Pete aggressively gatekeeps any and all content about Japan. Find us on Bluesky , X , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble.com . Sign up to the Football Ramble Patre...
Dec 05, 2025•45 min
Delightful Daniel Farke steered Leeds to a big win last night. Today, Marcus, Jim and Pete ask if he can be the man to keep them in the Premier League. Elsewhere, Unai Emery celebrates Ollie Watkins' return to form in unusual fashion. Plus, Dan Burn is gearing up for panto season and Pete reveals his inner Boglin. Find us on Bluesky , X , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble.com . Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: h...
Dec 04, 2025•48 min
Who would have predicted that late-stage Guardiola would have traces of Kevin Keegan? Today, Marcus, Jim and Pete are on hand to enjoy the nine-goal thriller at The Cottage. Elsewhere, Cristian Romero has his, erm... Scott McTominay moment. Plus, a goalkeeper in Norway takes s**thousery to a whole new level. Find us on Bluesky , X , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble.com . Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: https:/...
Dec 03, 2025•54 min
Liverpool got three valuable points at West Ham without Mo Salah in the XI. Arne Slot made the big call, but what does it say about Salah's future in this hard-to-gel Liverpool side? And has he stayed a season too long? Marcus, Luke and David discuss on today's Mailbag! There's also important matters to attend to, such as Luke's impassioned defence of the history of Portsmouth, a potential X Factor judging panel of referees at the side of the pitch, and an update on Birmingham City's 12-chimney ...
Dec 02, 2025•48 min
Stamford Bridge has been reduced to ashes after Chelsea and Arsenal played out a good old-fashioned barn burner in the Premier League. Marcus, Luke and David get the pleasure of re-living it on today's Ramble. Plus, Harry Wilson once again gets his magic wand out and the guys try to help Andy Carroll sell his house. Find us on Bluesky , X , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble.com . Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month:...
Dec 01, 2025•1 hr
For all the tax-avoiding, non-dom citizens of Donaco out there – this one's for you. Marcus officiates completely even-handedly as Luke faces the most unpredictable, irrational force of all: Pete Donaldson on a Friday. Fire up the V8 and get those eggs on! Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: https://www.patreon.com/footballramble . Click here to become a Friend of the Ramble on YouTube! Find us on Bluesky, X, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, and email us...
Nov 28, 2025•26 min
Show some f***ing respect. Today, Marcus, Luke and Pete explain why they expected more from Swiss football fans after the lovely Donyell Malen was targeted with missiles last night. They are meant to be neutral after all… Elsewhere, Sean Dyche is starting to build a successful fort at Nottingham Forest and we’ve got a thigh rubber between Chelsea and Arsenal this weekend. Plus, Donny’s forced to once again relive the trauma of his Holloway Road Christmas lights disaster. Find us on Bluesky , X ,...
Nov 28, 2025•53 min
Marcus, Jim and Pete dust themselves down after a proper European goal fest, as Liverpool continue to suffer their worst run of form since the mid-1950s. Probably wasn’t ideal that Virgil van Dijk was trying to referee the game from centre-back and PSV’s Ivan Perišić kept slurping from the Fountain of Football Youth. Elsewhere, Arsenal reach another level against Bayern, Spurs put in a better showing against PSG and Sheffield Wednesday are faced with the grimmest ownership choice imaginable: mer...
Nov 27, 2025•52 min
Estêvão - or "Steve" as Marcus likes to call him - put in a coming-of-age performance against Barcelona. Today, Spellz is joined by Jim and David to reflect on last night's key learning: no player can resist hitting Marc Cucurella when given the opportunity. Plus, Pete shares an update from Marseille, and Alan Parry is unhappy with Gary Neville’s goalgasm. Find us on Bluesky , X , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble.com . Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon...
Nov 26, 2025•58 min
At home against 10 men after two of the opposition players had a dust-up, you probably should be winning that one. Manchester United are back in their chaos era and Pete, Jim and Luke are here for it. Today, the lads revel in that while not forgetting to give some credit to David Moyes for getting his first win away at Old Trafford. Plus, Pete informs us that he’s off to Marseille tonight to stay with a man called Fang… Find us on Bluesky , X , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here:...
Nov 25, 2025•41 min
It was a bad weekend for Liverpool and Tottenham in the Premier League. Is it time that they call Uri Geller? He'll surely sort it out. Today, Marcus, Luke and David Cartlidge get an update from the great man before turning to Arsenal's title credentials and Jacob Murphy having a lovely time at the weekend. Plus, Marcus reveals the latest player he would like to be considered for the England squad. Find us on Bluesky , X , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble.c...
Nov 24, 2025•56 min
After a barn burning round of Jack's Encyclopaedia last week, it's My Biddy Aunt's turn to step up and provide the goods. Marcus has a chance to unify the belts, but he'll need to get past the ever-growing Luke Nation and his army of goons if he's to do so. Pete's ready to officiate with his many, many buttons. Find us on Bluesky , X , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble.com . Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: http...
Nov 21, 2025•20 min
Where's all the international football gone? Today, Marcus, Luke and Pete are forced to preview the North London derby. How dare UEFA do this to us! Elsewhere, Rob Edwards gears up for his first game as Wolves manager, Estêvão passes his driving test and Lazio have finally replaced Juan Bernabé. Find us on Bluesky , X , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble.com . Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: https://www.patreon....
Nov 21, 2025•50 min
On this edition of Ramble Uncut, Marcus, Jim and Pete reminisce about their favourite detective dramas, their least favourite football movies and wonder where Napoleon’s penis has got to. Elsewhere, a Chilean businessman displays the old gates of Wembley and Madonna’s bra in a very esoteric collection. Find us on Bluesky , X , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble.com . Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows for just $5 per month: https://www.p...
Nov 20, 2025•25 min
