The Prem is back with a big ol’ relegation six-pointer! Marcus, Jim, Andy and Vish preview that and a whole lot more. We wonder in what state Kevin De Bruyne will return to Premier League action against Newcastle, Phil Brown gets last one shot at management before he gets the Bargain Hunt gig, and there is a MAJOR headloss in the final round of Jack’s Encyclopaedia. And, of course, to one of our long-time favourite characters in football: Sven, we’re wishing you well. Follow us on Twitter , Inst...
Jan 12, 2024•55 min
In a twist that left Marcus’ aunt practically choking on her Victoria sponge, Liverpool turned the first leg of their Carabao Cup semi-final on its head after going behind against Marco Silva’s men! But then Fulham do have a chance of winning the Euro Millions. So, you know, there is always that. Marcus and Jim reflect on an intriguing encounter where Liverpool once again found a way to win thanks to the only person who’s more Scouse than then Scouse cat. Will they ever stop winning from a goal ...
Jan 11, 2024•26 min
Football recently lost one of its greats. Today, Marcus, Jim, Andy and Vish remember Franz Beckenbauer – a player who reinvented his position and whose name has more significance than almost anyone else in the sport, though not without controversy. Elsewhere, Marcus jinxes Middlesbrough after their historic win against Chelsea last night, before we ask the question on everyone's lips: why haven't Man United signed Jesse Lingard yet?! Jim then puts some well-deserved cake in Marcus’ face after Do...
Jan 10, 2024•51 min
That’s (almost) a wrap on the FA Cup third round! And we’re already looking forward to Liverpool playing Maidstone United on a plastic pitch at 12:30 in a few weeks’ time… Marcus, Luke and Vish look back on some of the best bits from one of the best weekends in the football calendar. Jason Tindall pulling on Sunderland fans’ heartstrings? Darwin Nunez playing a fan’s head like a drum? And a Pascal Chimbonda update?! Yes please. Plus, there’s the small matter of football’s true fairytale on FA Cu...
Jan 08, 2024•1 hr 2 min
Should FA Cup underdogs be allowed to choose whether they play at home or away? Marcus Speller thinks so. Today he, Luke and Jim discuss the one change they would each make to improve the world’s oldest cup competition. Speaking of making improvements, Jim also makes the case for banning Sweet Caroline from football. Plus, we hear from a listener that once beat Jamie Redknapp at Table Tennis. Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble.com . Sig...
Jan 06, 2024•27 min
It’s FA Cup third round weekend! And what a curtain-raiser it was last night on ITV4… Marcus, Luke, Jim and Vish discuss Sunderland gaffes ahead of the derby, Arsenal moaning ahead of their clash with Liverpool, and why Paul Cook is definitely ready to spring a cupset! Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble.com . Sign up to the Football Ramble Patreon for ad-free shows and a visit from Pete Donaldson to put some fluid up your wall for just ...
Jan 05, 2024•56 min
Wayne Rooney lasted longer than the cabbage. And at least he didn’t have one thrown at him like Steve Bruce. Marcus, Luke, Andy and Vish discuss the exit of Luke Littler’s younger brother from Birmingham City and just why useful-FIFA-Committee-idiot-in-waiting Garry Cook appointed him in the first place. We also ponder West Ham fans’ split on Davide Moyes and – in totally normal news – Gianluigi Buffon wants goals to be made bigger and the Argentina FA retire the men’s national team number 10 sh...
Jan 03, 2024•52 min
Festive football has almost drawn to a close and the highlight is most definitely Noni Madueke calling friend of the Ramble Jules Breach “bro”. Marcus, Andy, Jim and Vish react to that and share their displeasure that Liverpool vs Newcastle didn’t end 4-3. Just for old times’ sake. Elsewhere, Marcus makes his case for why Arsenal need a Tom Cairney in midfield and Vish explains why he isn’t surprised a goalkeeper scored a worldie for Arbroath. Plus, we hear the new Roy Hodgson “let’s not take th...
Jan 02, 2024•57 min
Football’s great - but it’s not perfect. As a new year rolls around, we thought it was a perfect time to decide on some resolutions that football should definitely adopt. All of them. Even the ridiculous ones. Marcus, Jim, Luke and Vish bring some idea of their own, from shot clocks and sartorial guidance to fundamentally destroying the fabric of the game. Plus, we sift through a boatload of suggestions from you lovely lot, which mainly focus on spanking and Gary Neville’s goalgasm. **Please not...
Jan 01, 2024•38 min
Marcus, Andy and Jim are back to answer more of your questions, and we’re kicking off with one that’s dominated English football discourse for years: why doesn't England produce many elite coaches? Whether it’s a lack of intelligent football discussion (guilty), the FA resting on their laurels or dwindling opportunities in the Premier League, there’s loads to get stuck into. We then undo all our cutting insight by dreaming up some footballers’ appearances on celebrity cooking shows. Who would Jo...
Dec 30, 2023•25 min
If you’re going to make one New Year’s resolution, make it this: watch the Indian national team at the Asian Cup. Why, you ask? Trevor Sinclair has just been made their overhead kick coach. Marcus, Andy and Jim look back on a bitterly disappointing night for Arsenal and Konstantinos Mavropanos, who had to go through the Scott Sinclair Moral Maze™ of scoring against a club he barely played for. Plus, Roberto De Zerbi harnesses yet more chaotic energy, Phil Foden gets praise from a different bald ...
Dec 29, 2023•56 min
We’re back with more fond reminisces! On today’s episode, we return to a difficult day for VAR and an even more difficult day for Pete Donaldson’s Twitter mentions. Plus, some of the worst stadium trivia you will ever hear in Jack’s Encyclopaedia and an update on Andy Carroll’s French renaissance! If you missed it, catch Part 1 of our 2023 throwback which came out on Boxing Day! Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble.com . Sign up to the Fo...
Dec 28, 2023•39 min
Boxing Day, you never disappoint. Marcus, Andy and Luke are here and full of the joys of Christmas! And Luke can confirm that one Gosport Borough fan definitely was too… We discuss Man United’s Christmas miracle and everything you need to know about Sir Jim Ratcliffe’s deal (translation: we talk about his haunted pub). After another defeat for Newcastle, are reports that Eddie Howe is in trouble absolutely out of the question? Plus, a detour to Egypt for our two new favourite football club names...
Dec 27, 2023•50 min
Today, we’re throwing it back to the start of 2023 and reliving some of our favourite Ramble moments! The final stretch of the 2022/23 season saw some “proper gubbings", including Liverpool's seven-goal demolition of Man United. Oh, and don't forget the poor bloke who went to fill up his car and returned to his radio to find Spurs 5-0 down to Newcastle. The first half of 2023 of course also featured Andy losing his head at Luke during a game of Jack’s Encyclopaedia and our glorious trip to Wembl...
Dec 26, 2023•38 min
Jim Campbell is happy with a point at Anfield. However, he’s not so happy with Zinchenko attempting to do the Stanky Legg when faced up against Mohamed Salah in the box. He and Luke tuck into the festive feast served up by Liverpool and Arsenal, before enjoying Robbie Fowler sticking the boot into Michael Owen for dessert. Plus, Jim admits he would move in with Peter Drury for the rest of the year if it meant Arsenal win the league. Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and ema...
Dec 23, 2023•31 min
Our listener Christian has a theory: could a European Super League actually improve English football? Marcus, Luke and Andy debate the merits of that suggestion on today’s Mailbag. Elsewhere, Luke explains why someone should make a biopic all about Paolo Maldini’s tennis career and there's agreement that humiliation is the key to improving players' conduct in football! Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble.com . Sign up to the Football Ram...
Dec 23, 2023•27 min
What reason would Roy Hodgson have to incubate Pep Guardiola? I don’t know. It’s cold outside, but Marcus, Luke, Andy and Jim are here to warm your footballing hearts with tales of Hodgson looking after his owl eggs, Ross County’s manager having a full-blown rant about the standard of Scottish football, and Gary O’Neil almost certainly getting a contentious penalty decision against him and his team on Christmas Eve! Probably in the 92nd minute. Plus, can Luke Darth Moore at last turn his fortune...
Dec 22, 2023•51 min
Marcus needs consoling. Again. That’s because Fulham have been drawn against Liverpool in a two-legged semi-final. Oh no... Luke joins Marcus to react to Liverpool dishing out yet another defeat to poor old David Moyes, who made history by becoming the first manager to try and play a Carabao Cup quarter-final via email. Plus, why Santa has been dragged into the middle of the Celtic-Rangers rivalry and bold predictions that Steve Cooper’s going to pop up in the Bournemouth end at the weekend. Pro...
Dec 20, 2023•34 min
The Carabao’s back! Today, Jim and Andy have to console Marcus after Kieran Trippier - aka one of Gareth Southgate's brave boys - suffered a difficult night at Stamford Bridge. At least Fulham won! Speaking of Southgate, Marcus touts Steve Cooper as the next England manager now that he’s been sacked by Nottingham Forest. Plus, we hear from a cockney parrot and learn about some West Ham fans that crashed a boat into Hammersmith Bridge… Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and e...
Dec 20, 2023•50 min
The sound of laughter, the sun appearing while you’re out for a walk, scoring a late penalty to draw 2-2 at the Etihad, these are just a few of the things guaranteed to bring a friendly smile out of Roy Hodgson. Today, Marcus, Luke, Jim and Vish take a moment to enjoy that before settling into their seats to watch the next chapter of the Martínez Cinematic Universe. Surely, Neal Maupay is the story’s best villain? Plus, Vish compares Liverpool 0 - 0 Man United to watching an episode of Takeshi’s...
Dec 18, 2023•54 min
“Football was better in the good old days!” But was it really? Today, Marcus, Luke and Vish state the case for why football is actually better off with fewer Vinnie Jones type characters. I am sure Gazza agrees… Marcus then plays the hits by reminiscing about the time a 35-year-old Gabriel Batistuta nearly signed for Fulham and shoehorning everyone's (no-one's) favourite British-Canadian tennis playing Greg into the show. And no, it’s not Greg Proops… Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , TikTok an...
Dec 16, 2023•31 min
Join us for a bumper Barclays preview! Marcus, Luke, Jim and Vish settle in to write some Tom Cairney fan fiction and wonder if Steve McClaren will tear his hair island out should Man United get punished by Jürgen n’ co. Elsewhere, Stevey Cooper looks to save his skin Under The Lights™ and Chelsea vote to ban something they’ve been doing all season - very noble. Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble.com . Sign up to the Football Ramble Pat...
Dec 15, 2023•1 hr 2 min
After Newcastle’s chaotic loss against Milan, Pete comes down from off the ceiling to commiserate Andy, who saw his dreams of some paid Europa League work at St James’ go up in smoke. Commiserations are also extended to fans of the Premier League’s UEFA coefficient and we catch up with results elsewhere, as the Champions League group stages rage against the dying of the light. Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble.com . Sign up to the Foot...
Dec 13, 2023•28 min
Is Man United’s season over? Marcus, Jim and Vish debate that on today’s Ramble after their Champions League exit has left Vish yearning for the haunted boy himself, Ole Gunnar Solskjær. Things must be really bad… Elsewhere, Jim explains why perhaps Arteta didn’t play the kids in their “big rubber” against PSV last night and we wonder whether Sevilla have a Europa League Black Card that will guarantee them a spot in the knockouts, despite finishing bottom of their group. Plus, we take a moment t...
Dec 13, 2023•42 min
We see you, sitting there with that apple core in your hand, about to listen to this podcast. See that bin over there? Go for it. Be brave. Be like Michael Owen. Marcus, Luke and Andy react to one of the weirdest things anyone has ever said this year, while Man United revert to their painful norm. Plus, Andy explains how Aston Villa went full-blown Emery on Arsenal, Marcus inspires Fulham to score more goals, and Whamaggedon descends upon Northampton Town! Oh, and we REALLY channel the spirit of...
Dec 11, 2023•59 min
After a week where you could watch every Premier League game live, do we actually have... access to too much football? Today, Marcus, Luke, Andy and Pete are back for our (now weekly) Ramble Mailbag! On the show, the Ramblers are given the power to overturn one result from football history and Luke, nobly, decides to use his powers for good to overturn one of football’s great injustices. There's also a story about an 80-year-old Norwegian referee that has officiated over 5000 matches across two ...
Dec 09, 2023•30 min
We want to talk about the football. Marcus wants to talk about the fact that he watched Fulham on Wednesday with Stuart Broad and then convinced Roberto Martinez to take the England job at the urinals. Well, we’ve had one England manager resign from a toilet so why not… Marcus, Andy, Luke and Pete discuss Steve Cooper’s last chance saloon at Wolves and a huge showdown at Villa Park! Pete also ponders on the logistics of ‘doing an Emi Martinez’, while Marcus has penned an ode to the great man. Em...
Dec 08, 2023•58 min
Unlike Trent Alexander-Arnold, Pete and Andy keep their bums very much covered on tonight’s Ramble Reacts! But there’s no hiding Pete’s secret… They discuss a hugely important win for Man United, Aston Villa’s masterclass to beat Man City, and why Evangelos Marinakis’s Craven Cottage ticket ended up in a hedge – and why ol’ Roy the Boy could be thrown in one soon, too! Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email us here: show@footballramble.com . Sign up to the Football Ram...
Dec 06, 2023•27 min
Arsenal went to Kenilworth Road and stole the points! Just like Aaron Ramsdale’s dad stole Arsenal’s Christmas decorations... After a brilliant game of football Marcus, Jim, Vish and Andy are here to explain why chaos is the answer for Luton Town going forward. They then all agree that chaos is definitely NOT the answer for Man United ahead of a potentially season-defining clash with Chelsea tonight and celebrate the FC Twente fan that successfully carried 64 beers back to his seat. Plus, is Chr...
Dec 06, 2023•51 min
Just another normal weekend. And you haven’t even heard about Pete breaking up a fight between two horses yet. Marcus, Luke, Pete and Vish are here to unpack the madness that was Man City vs Spurs, the madness that was Liverpool vs Fulham, and the madness of Old Trafford’s chicken prep. Plus, we pay our respects to Paul Heckingbottom waking up to find out he’s ‘going to be’ sacked later today and make Vish feel really, really old. Follow us on Twitter , Instagram , TikTok and YouTube , and email...
Dec 04, 2023•1 hr 2 min
