At FOCUS St Louis. We believe that everyone possesses the power to be a leader. And for the past several years, we've been inspiring leaders to think differently, to seek out new perspectives and to take action. Now we're sitting down with some of those leaders at Missouri Athletic Club to explore their unique journeys. We'll talk to leaders who are driving change and making a difference both inside and outside of their organizations. Welcome to the FOCUS St. Louis podcast.
And joining me today is one of our alums that I have been waiting a long time to interview. And I don't know whether you know this, but you and I have a Louisville, Kentucky connection. No way. Yes. And the first time I heard you say something to the effect that you grew up somewhat in Louisville, the way you said it, Louisville, you know. Exactly. And I was like kindred spirit. She knows about Louisville and how to properly say it.
In case you're wondering who our guest is this morning, it is none other than Keisha Mabry Haymore. I've actually called you a civic entrepreneur, but in reading your bio, I notice that you describe yourself. I agree. Super Connector. I would add to that super convener, social entrepreneur. But you are woman about town. There is an opportunity that I know you're probably thinking about. What's my next opportunity that I'm. I'm going to sow seeds in and make it blossom.
But you believe in the importance of changing the world. One connection at a time. And also joining us today and you guys will see the video is her darling angel, which she will introduce to us shortly because we all love her and we know that she's going to be a future Youth Leadership St. Louis participant. So no pressure on you where that's concerned. But Keisha's owner of Heydays, a business incubator and co-working space for founders and creatives to connect, create and curate anything.
If you haven't been to the space, I highly recommend that you visit her resumé is incredibly impressive. There isn't a national or global newspaper, organization, Aspen Institute, that you haven't been involved in in some capacity. And lest I forget, she's also an alum of FOCUS St. Louis’ Emerging Leaders program. But I am thrilled to have you join us here today. Thank you, Friend. Hey, friend. Yeah. Hey, friends. Yes, indeed. So where did it all start? Where was the spark for you?
Was it something in your leadership journey or from when you were a kid or when you were in grad school or what have you? When did it start? So Zari says, Hey, everyone, Hi. And it started. I don't even know. Like, my mom was a connector. Like she was the house that everyone went to, you know? And I think if, like, just sitting here thinking about it, I think that's really where it started. You know, my mom was and still is a warm spirit.
She's in her sixties and just kicks it like her And her friends go on the boat and and they just have a good time. And I think again, it started there. And so for me, it's just about being the friend that wants everyone to win, you know, about being the friend that gives people inspiration and motivation to do things. And I yeah, that's it for me. Like, it's really that simple. So at what point did you know that you were going to write the book? So I didn’t. It’s back to my mom, really.
Because you know, when you're in college or just growing up, people tell you to network right? And you're probably hearing my daughter back and forth friends. But I think, yeah, people just always tell you to network and it was boring to me. It felt very transactional the way that people were saying it or teaching me how to do it. And I'm like, Man, this is so boring. Like there has to be a better way. And so I started thinking of it as like, friend working. Like I'm not really networking.
I don't want anything from people. I just want I just want to get to know them and hear their stories, right? And so from there, it kind of carried on. So when I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life after graduating, I told myself, Let me just meet 100 people in 100 days. Like if I hear a ton of stories, How did you do that? yes, I'll definitely share that in a second.
But the gist of it was, if I can meet a lot of people and hear their stories and their lives, maybe from that experience I can learn and piece some things together for myself. So I called our local chamber of commerce. This is when I was still living in Louisville and I'm like, Hey, I just graduated. I'm trying to meet people. I don't know what I want to do with my life, help me get connected. And they were like, Oh my gosh, you called at the perfect time.
We're about to assemble a group of 100, you know, 100 people in in Louisville to actually reshape and rethink about Louisville, like how we want to market Louisville, how we can reimagine the possibilities here. And so they invited me on this trip. And friend, it was 100 people. And so that's where the 100 came from, because I'm like, okay, I have three days to run around here and meet all of these people. And so I did. Like I had lunch with some people, I talked to other people in line.
I scheduled meetings for other people for when I was leaving or when we left the trip. And so when I moved to St. Louis with Teach for America, I'm like, Let me do that again. Like, I want to get planted here. I don't know how long I'll be here, but I should build community and so I forced myself to meet 100 people here and it just kind of stuck. So fast forward to the book. People just kept asking me like, How do you network? How do you network? I'm like, I'll just write it down.
So I started journaling all the ways that I was meeting people, and my mom was like just turn it into a book. I'm like, That is such a great idea. Yeah. So I turned all my journal entries into a book and came up with the 100 Ways to Connect. Amazing. And it sounds like you track if you're meeting 100 people in how many days in 100 days? 100 days. That requires one to be very active, perhaps intentional and strategic. How do you do something like that?
Yes and no. So research tells us that we pass 50 to 60 people a day just by going through our normal days of going to get coffee, going to the office. If you so go to a office, pumping gas, getting groceries. And so for me, it was just, yes, intentional. I was intentional, but it was being intentional about just the spaces I was in, you know, just saying hello to people versus just going throughout my day, not acknowledging who was in my surroundings. And so that really is the the start of it.
And really is the secret sauce, it's not about you really figuring out combing through the Internets, The 100 hundred people you want to meet is just being intentional about the people already in your atmosphere and just connect with them. Mm hmm. With a simple hello. It just starts there. So how many people do you feel you've connected with? Oh, my gosh. Since this launched, since this was ignited, Definitely thousands.
I mean, at this point, definitely thousands, because I'm thinking about in-person connections, online connections. I would say probably at least 100,000 people at this time or more. I believe you. Because if your social media platforms is anything to go by, it seems as though you are constantly on the move. And that is just impressive and it always seems purposeful. Yes, yes and no. I think for me it's a matter of chasing energy like I was actually in Louisville yesterday, which is crazy.
I woke up at 3 a.m., left the house around four, drove to Louisville, went to an event, and then came back, got home around like 11:00. And at first I wasn't going to do it, but I’m like ahh the energy is telling me like I just felt something like, no, go. Like, go. You're going to meet dope people go. And I'm so glad I did. And so, again, like, yeah, sometimes it's purposeful. Like, I have an idea in mind of like, what I want to get out of this connection.
But for the most part, really, it's let me hear stories. Share my own and just like connect on a human level and by connecting and building the network before I need it, maybe one day I'll need it, but maybe one day I won't. But what I got out of that moment was story sharing and storytelling, which is just as beautiful. So I want to bring your daughter into the room because, yeah, let's do it. And she's in the room with us. And I'm sure for our listeners that are many moms and parents.
Yes. Come here, Mom's going to introduce you to our FOCUS world. Yes. She's like, No, Mom. okay, I'm going to go back to my regularly scheduled programming. So as a new mom, relatively, she's three, not new anymore. How are you integrating being a mom with what you do? I mean, I have no choice. I have the most flexible schedule. My husband's amazing, crazy supportive. And so it's not like he's not in the picture. I have to acknowledge I have an amazing partner,
but I do have the more flexible schedule. I'm an entrepreneur. My husband's in education. So for me, it's just there is no choice. I have to integrate my daughter in everything. And I want to, you know, I think sometimes people, they look at her coming like, why is Keisha bringing her daughter? And it's because, like, they should see these things. They should experience these things and thank you to the team because the team is like actually right here hanging and playing with Zari.
So I appreciate that. But for me, I think exposure is so powerful. Another thing that connection allows me to do is be exposed, be exposed to realities that are outside of my own, and that exposure leads to insporation, it leads to possibility. It leads to dreaming, and that's a beautiful thing. And so imagine if kids are exposed at a crazy young age what their possibilities and dreams can be when they're our age, you know? And so that's why I am always I think I am intentional about that.
I'm always intentional about getting Zari in the room because I want her to know right now that she can be in the room and that she already has a seat at the table. Whatever you know, analogy we want to use to explain that and to learn how to advocate for herself and just go for it. This is master leadership class parenting. I love it. And I was thinking of you and your daughter based on some of your social media posts. And I thought, is this the day that I bring Alex to work?
And now I'm thinking, naturally, I probably should have. Yeah. So next time we convene, we'll have let's have a play date. I love it. Yes. Yes, that. That would be perfect. It's great. Yes. She knows what work is like. Mommy going to work? Yeah, they know. Yes. But she's never really. No. I want to say now that she's an adult, I don't think I can say that she's an adult, but she recognizes what work is. Yeah. And what it means. And even Za. It’s so funny.
She's always like you say, Hey, friend, like she's. She’s saying it too? She's already picking up. She was like, Mommy, you say, Hey, friend. You say, you say, Hey, friend. Yeah, I think that's so cool. Like how again, even at two. At three, like they're already sponges. And just being a former educator, which I don't know if everyone knows my story, but I used to teach eighth grade science from the age of from a child's birth up until five.
They will never in their life learn more than they learn in those five years. Wow. So by you simply exposing them to things, you are really setting them up because their brain is growing the most in that five year span, than it will ever grow in their life. Which is crazy to me. Well, that means I just added a couple more trips to Alex's agenda on learning and experiencial immersive education. Absolutely. That we do at FOCUS.
So in your travels, I am curious whether you have encountered an individual, a story that was just pivotal to the work that you do globally. I think it's all the stories, every story I hear gives me one more nugget to think about. So even with my trip to Louisville, like that was not a global trip. But oh my gosh, it was a it was a travel conference.
And I met people who have been everywhere, like at lunch they were talking about, oh, my gosh, like you go to Greece, like, yes, I've been to Greece five times. Like it was dope. It was so dope. It was like, okay, the next time you go to Greece, you got to go here, here, here. And I'm like, over here taking notes, like, let me go to Greece, because I've never been to some of I haven't been rather yet to some of the countries that they were talking about.
And so to hear them just rattle off all of these amazing spaces and places, it really just helped me think like, yes, I feel like I'm a big thinker, but I could be thinking bigger, you know? And so I think I came back here last night just like talking a million miles an hour with my husband, like, Oh my gosh, And I think I could do this. I could do this and this. And I was so excited. And right after that, I remember I'm like, Oh my gosh, I need to fill out my form for 40 under 40.
And one of the questions said, What is your biggest professional achievement yesterday or before going to Louisville and having that experience, I would have wrote something else. And so immediately I wrote I haven't achieved it yet. And pressed send on the email. I'm like, I haven't achieved it yet. I love that because it inspires, motivates. And you continue to elevate. Absolutely. Absolutely. And my husband always reminds me, he said, Think of it as a mountain. And my mom too.
Like I just have a crazy, amazing support system. Like with every new level that you climb, you see more, you see more. So for me, every new connection is a vision into more and not that more needs to be more money or more material things, but just like more of what you want out of life, more joy, more peace, whatever that more is. And I feel like every time I hear somebody's story, I seek more of those things, like fill in the blank, whatever that is in that moment for me. What brings you joy?
This. Connecting. Yeah. I'm such a connector. And this brings me joy. having conversations changing perspective, thinking and narrative brings me joy. Like being able to be a mom and, like, incorporate my daughter into things and see people be like, Oh my gosh, you give me permission to do the same living life without thinking about boxes or boundaries. Rediscovery. Like right now, I think I'm at a point in my life where I'm like, Hmm, who like, what's the next version of me?
Thinking, being still, the more I learn to just sit and be silent, the more joy I feel like I have. Because I feel like sometimes when I'm going so fast, I'm just always focused on the next thing versus just sitting and reflecting and being like, Oh my gosh, look where you've come from. Look at who you're becoming. Like, That's pretty beautiful. And dope. So yeah, it's those things, Yeah. So what role, if any, does intuition play in you're making a decision.
If someone approaches you with an opportunity and say, Oh, I'm going to go with this or I'm going to research it, what's the evolution of that? Yeah, I get approached with opportunities all the time and I feel like years ago I would have said yes. Like I was just like, Yep, yep, yep. You know, I learned that saying yes leads to the next thing, but I'm also now learning the power of yes.
And so, yes, that opportunity sounds cool and I need it to look like this instead, you know, or no it doesn't feel like it aligns, but if it looked like this, it could, you know? And so I think for me, intuition is now. Now for me, intuition is knowing when to say my yes, ands. And my no, buts. Yes, ands are very important. And knowing when to set boundaries as well. So yes, continue to be authentically. Yes. You. It's naptime. Yeah. Yes.
If you're watching, I love it. So Za is rolling on the ground Yeah. And it's the life that parents often live and Yes. And then we will make sure that she continues to have fun with with mom. So come join us here. So you are always being innovative. Yes. And for I think for me. Where you going? Y’all see my child. For me, I think I'm redefining innovation like I think often and again, this is my experience. So let me just let me preface that. But I think often that's okay.
That's part of real life. Okay, we're back. So, yes, I think for me with this, I'm learning I'm re learning innovation. I feel like just especially being in the entrepreneurship support space, innovation often looks like technology, which that is a piece of it. But innovation is also design and thinking and like your approach and processes.
So my approach is giving myself permission to redefine it first and then thinking of new ways to do all of those things, new ways to design, to think, to bring new processes and people together. But more than anything new ways to fill gaps and be a way finder, way finder. I like that term. It reminds me that a way finder is also a changemaker. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. So what is your, St. Louis is home now. It's home now.
What is your hope, Aspirational hopes for our region in light of our challenges? I mean, there's always going to be challenges. So this event I went to yesterday was it was an industry day, which I've never been to an industry day and so basically it's the tourism department of different cities and I'm meeting with Sorry, y’all. I’m laughing, Za. That's okay. What are you doing?
Innovation is also laughing, right but it was hitting the lights, girl it was an industry day, so it was like all of these cities coming together talking about like what's possible for their city. And so they were meeting with different partners from like influencers to travel, journalists, writers, things like that, to determine like if there was a possibility for a partnership. And what I learned in that moment, what I think I mean, I think I know I already knew, right?
There's problems everywhere. Yes. Every city, no matter. The grass is not always greener on the other side. like no matter how beautiful it is, no matter how picturesque it is, there are problems literally everywhere. And every city there was talking about their problems, but not in a way to like bad mouth the city or bring negativity to it, but in a way of like discovering the possibilities and the opportunities. And so during these 15 minute meetings, that was your job as a potential partner.
It was like, okay, this is what we have. Like, how could you reimagine something different for our city and get people excited about it? It was the coolest thing ever. I love the reimagining. Yes, because it opens people up to different possibilities. Absolutely. That they haven't thought about. Absolutely. And I think that part is the hardest part, right? Because I think it's so easy to be like, Oh, this sucks. And that sucks. And this sucks, too.
But to think for a second and shift your thinking to be like, okay, yes and yes. And what are the possibilities? Like, what could we reimagine? So that was really fun to do it with other cities in mind and then to bring that back here, like on my drive home, I'm like, Oh my gosh, I can do this. And like, we could do this and this would be so cool. The possibilities are endless. Oh, absolutely they are. They are.
And I think we often stop our thinking versus just brain dumping everything like just brain dump. Like think of possibilities outside of a box, just like dump all your ideas and then go back and be like, okay, well, based on this, this and this, maybe this won't work for now. But the first step is just giving yourself permission to dump, get it all out and dream big first. I love it. Dream big first. Reimagine. Is that the title of your next book?
My next book. I feel like you have that book already in you. It’s itching to come out. People say that. And I don't know. I don't know if I have enough words to say yet, but I feel like when I have the words to say, they will come out. No truer words were spoken. Any final thoughts for our audience? Advice that you have being the Civic entrepreneur that I call you or the social entrepreneur that you are in terms of people just making contributions and transforming themselves inward out.
I would say it just starts with starting. I think we often make things way harder than they should be or need to be, and it makes sense right? Like there's a lot that comes with starting. There's fear of failure. There is actual failure, which is not a bad thing. It just means learning. There's the fear of being judged or, you know, all the things that we think of when it when it comes to starting and putting ourselves and our work out there.
But man on the other side and woman and whoever else on the other side of starting is just beauty. Like, I really can't explain it with any other word. You learn a lot about yourself and your capabilities, you’ll surprise yourself, and then you will also realize that your visions were given to you for a reason. I believe in God. I don't know what other people believe in, but I learned that every time I start and do something that was a vision that was given to me. Things happen.
Like people are like, Oh my gosh, thank you for doing that. You filled this gap. Thank you for helping me, you know, wayfind in this way. And then for myself, it just brings joy because I'm like, okay, I'm I'm, I'm moving in purpose. But when we don't start, I think, and again, from my own experience, it feels the opposite. It’s like, what is my purpose? And it's like, your purpose was given to you, just start it. So that's what I would say is just start.
And I know a lot of people say, don't share your dreams because someone will steal them. I believe the opposite. I'm like share your dreams with everybody, right. Because you never know who can connect you to the resources and people to make it happen. So yeah, that's where I am. People are like, Move in silence. Don't share your dreams. I say do the opposite. Go for it and start. Love it. Share, share. Share is important because they those folks will be your accountability partner.
Absolutely. And they will be your connectors. Absolutely. And I love how you're living your purpose. Thank you. Because you are touching so many people, not just in our community, but nationally and globally. And I cannot wait to see when you get there of what that next book is going to be. Thank you so much. I appreciate the space. And again, I have to say this on air. Thank you so much to the team because it takes a village. And today your team really showed up for me and looking out for Za.
So I appreciate it, friend. We loved having her here. So next time I'm going to bring my daughter to this interview because there's so much Master leadership learning from this. So I want to thank our guest, Keisha Mabry Haymore for joining us today. She's a connector convener and social and civic entrepreneur who is doing amazing things globally. If you haven't connected with her, go to Keishamabry.com. Easy to find. And she always brings such joy, warmth and I would say peace.
Thank you, friend. You're welcome.