Flex and fruits on Kaida.
Welcome to the podcast. Qts, q TETs, curlies, skulls.
What'd you said before pigged pig? It don't but it's good. No, it was a it was a miss a misspoke.
Yeah, we are a lot of those in the show.
I don't, I don't.
I'm nagging us. It's not a good vibe, is it. No, it's the year of positivity. What is the what's the animal this year?
Do check?
I think it's a rat. Anyone know in the room? I'm checking five brains in this room. Twenty twenty two year of tiger. Oh, I feel like that doesn't mean much. Press about that. That's an exciting year, AnyWho.
Welcome to the podcast.
All right, so today we're going to be talking about what marketing has taught me about dating apps.
We talked about it.
A little bit like a tinty dunty dunty bit on Instagram, and it wasn't enough.
It wasn't enough at all. But basically we all.
Know that dating apps are there for profits, not love.
That is very true. And we also know that they are tech apps.
Like they are, they meant to function with algorithms. They look at your behavior and everything is done with a little robot, and the point is you need a plan and a strategy. I feel like most people are too insecure to use dating apps properly, and that is working to their detriment.
Being a bit silly in the wrong ways.
Yeah, because be silly, be aloof.
But I think that, like we discussed later on the podcast, a lot of people are really embarrassed about wanting to be in love.
However, the way you.
Want to spin it, there's this general shame around love relationships and the acquisition.
Yeah, the acquisition bits the hard meat, because people want to get to admit that they are lonely, decrepit.
Yes, undesirable, honestly general pigs.
And also with the way people have been socialized to view romance, it's meant to come to you, it's meant to find you, and it's meant to scoop you up and change your life and requires no effort from you. Just be yourself a little shop. And that's just not true. And I think people know that to a point, but they also want it to be them. Yes, so they're like,
but I'm different, I'm special. Somebody will pick me if I just PLoP myself on this app, give it the most basic, bare minimum beage profile I can do, and hope somebody sees through the nothingness to find my true self, my twenty four facet diamond heart.
And it's not going to happen.
Let's figure out how to then bring that heartch to the forefront, shine it, put it into a ring, and eventually put it onto your finger. Let's cut to it. Abolish marriage.
This is flex and frooms.
I am a marketer. I don't know if you know that about me, but it's one of my trades, one of my skills, and I often like to see the world through the lens of marketing because we live in a consumer culture anyway, So I'm sure it all adds
up when you really dissect it. The other day, I was talking to my best friend Sally, and we were reviewing each other's dating app profiles, and I looked at hers and she had beautiful pictures, no bio, very little information about her, didn't answer any prompts, bear hot and bear, to which I said, you look like a bot, to which she said, I'm giving mysterious and I was like, oh, yeah,
I guess that's true. And they went to my profile, which is like a lot all filled out a lot of information, some would say polarizing if anything.
But as we were discussing, I was like, I have.
A theory about why I use my dating app the way I do and why other people use.
Theirs the way they do.
And so the analogy I gave is that people set their dating profiles up in the most basic way possible to get the attention of the largest group of people, Like I want to be attractive to everyone, but it's a setup because you aren't attractive to everyone, and when they get to know the real you, when they start that conversation, they'll quickly find that out. Then you have
a lot more negative experiences with the profile. It puts you off, It makes you more desperate, You start reaching out to more people, start paying for services, start getting real feral and frantic about how you want to use the platform because you're not getting the result you want
and you're thinking it must be me. My approach is to have a really detailed and specific profile that isn't attractive to all people, because, for a fact, when somebody who really likes the things I like sees me, they'll also like me. The analogy I gave. Sorry, I was talking about like just a simple beige handbag. I was like, yes, in theory, most people who wear handbags might like a simple beige handbag. It's been made for the most mainstream population.
It's generic, it's to be accessible. But the issue is making something generic and accessible is that everyone probably has one or just doesn't really want yours bad enough to go and buy it. So, yes, it looks good, Yes it's not offensive. Yes, like I'm sure I could imagine somebody might want it, but I don't really want it. Now, you take that beige handbag and you make it exciting.
You put a puffy key chain on it, you make the strap a chain, you put a big Schanell logo on it, and suddenly the people who like those specific things think, this beige bag is so much more than just a beige bag. It's a Chanell bag. Look at that logo. Oh, but it's like a nighttime bag. It's got a cool strap.
But she's a bit quirky with a fluffy little which is from Valencialga.
So it's cost this is exactly dollars.
So suddenly adding this bit of interest or flare means that the person who really resonates with that interest or flare wants that bag so much more than when it was just generic and boring and plain. And so we spoke last week about the fact that I did the social experience of putting high maintenance in my profile, to which you said something.
Like I thought it was.
Like. My idea was the term high maintenance came about in the early two thousands, and it was weaponized. A bit heavy to say that word, but it was essentially weaponized against women who liked material things. So therefore, you putting it on your profile is reclaiming it and being almost ironic.
To which you disagreed. Yeah, I was like, not being ironic at all. I'm actually being quite legitimate because I think that anyway somebody takes that is close enough to how I want to be represented. So yeah, So the theory putting high maintenance in the profile was that I don't want to give the impression that I'm not high maintenance.
Like I think that with the way that I present, wearing colorful clothes, smiling all the time, it can give the impression like she's just a chill, fun, loose unit, which can be true. But I think that's all I'm projecting usually sometimes where I need to add some light and shade, and I actually am high maintenance, Like I think people should know that about me before they like, you know, try and orbit, try and enter my orbit and are surprised when I'm like asking for them to
like speak and share their thoughts. And I'm like, so what do you mean by that? In seeing where what's the date that we're going on? And like I'm not only my house to like sit in a room with you. What's what's happening here? So what you prefer to do an activity?
No?
I just mean that, Like I feel like a lot of like dating can be a bit like ho hum, let's just like you know, we should hang out, like I have friends for that, Like do you want to go on a date? Like are you is this an intentional thing or just like wasting time with a pretty girl because you can do that anywhere?
Interesting?
Because I like that approach.
I just I'm not sure if our collective understanding is there, Like I think we're still in a phase with online dating where people are nervous about it and they think, oh, I don't want to seem too keen. In the early stages because we still have this stigma about it. Everybody does it, but still it's weird stigma. You want to play it cool. I also think you're in an interesting position because people can get heaps of context for you. The way you present online is still like quite a
close approximation to who you are in your life. So then if they're really interested from the get go, you don't know how much information they can gain off you. But anyway, I want to talk more about specific things that you write in your profile because I know that's not necessarily relatable to every single person. Yeah, being very specific on the profile. I think that still scares people because I think it's really hard to accept that you
would be attracting just a certain person. I also think because some people don't really feel very confident in themselves. So therefore I find this thing sometimes if you don't feel confident in yourself, you're not attracted to the people that are attracted to you, because you think, oh, there's no way you're how can you say anything that's good about may there must be something wrong about you. Yeah, So I think maybe that's why people try and keep it as wide as possible.
Yeah, I think it's totally justifiable, but it also is like it's not the point, right, Like, if you were so ambiguous a nonchalant about dating, you wouldn't be on a dating app. Like, there's clearly something you want, something you're looking for, somebody you're trying to attract, and so acting nonchalant in the space is like so dumb because.
You're already here. We're all here, right.
It's what I was talking to Sally about where I was like you she said like, oh my, gonna hate when people don't. She's like, I don't have any prompts because it's mysterious and it gives people an opportunity to delve further. But she also hates when people don't have prompts because she's like, well, what am I meant to do here? Your strategy completely contradicts the thing that you're
looking for. And I think a lot of people do that with their apps, right, Like this idea of I want to create a profile that is as attractive to as many people as possible. Then you are seen as attractive and there's all these wilderbeasts in your life. You're like, who are these people who think they have a chance And It's like you gave them that impression looking real, plain, real, accessible, real exciting for the average person to hook their teeth into.
That's what you did.
And when you're like, oh my god, the conversation so dry, of course it is misbeare profile. Of course it is.
Mister. I want someone who likes adventures. When was your last adventures?
I want to go life with someone. I was watching your dms when you talked about this on Instagram, and I saw a technique which I have used in the pastorm on the dating app, which I really appreciate it when I see it in someone that I'm looking for, is throwing in the rogue meme. Yes, I would recommend to anybody who's maybe not getting the right matches or attracting these people that they deem basic in their rubrics of basicness is find the most fucked meme that is the most fucked little.
Like sucked in like the hyper specific to you way, yes, the meaning like god, this is so me.
For example, my favorite meme of all time that's just like an image is I put a sugar cube in my asshole so ants crawl up there and bite the inchibit. It's like this is warped, like very visual. You'll give it to us one day. It's the best media of all time. I'll put that on a dating profile. That's going to cut out eighty percent of people. They thinking that's weird. People don't like pooh humor.
Yeah, you do, and that's what matters people.
I think people set up their dating apps for consumption, Like I want to set up a profile that is entertaining for other people so when they look at me they like what they see all in all forgetting what they want, Like what do you want?
You want people who are going to get your humor?
Who are going to know that, Like, yes, you can look pretty at a wedding in your little suit, but like you don't wear suits ninety nine point nine percent of the time. You wear little havanas ex lord and a rip.
Curlty shirt from around twenty twelve.
That's you, kid.
And so when you've worn the ones you have for what's time you went to a wedding, don't set yourself up.
It's not you.
Also, people being really vague about their jobs, like we're gonna find out.
Put something in there.
Really put the location of where you work, but don't say like I don't want to give out too much information. It's like, there's a way to give context without like blowing your whole load and being like.
This is where you can find me foul from you. I don't like it when you do that liking. Oh, I guess that is I liked you know, blow me being infested by dating absolutely on the brain.
There's a way to give context without like, you know, giving away your whole identity. And I think this whole ambiguous. I want to be mysterious. I don't want to look desperate.
I don't want to you look already look like all of those things anyway. So just like if.
You're going to be on the best way I can explain it is this ambiguity is keeping you on the apps for way longer, have a specific profile, meet someone cute, delete the app for six months, you think you're in love.
Then get back on when you realize they're a bush pig. That's romance.
Well, I can't wait to try and find your profile.
FLEXI will match.
You're listening to Flex and frooms on hate some one.
I'm so good. I hope everybody else is doing good as well. Something that a lot of women that are influential. Wealthy in Sydney have all started doing is selling their secondhand clothes?
Yes, and for some economy good thing.
Yeah, okay, well I want to talk about with it not it's a good thing. Because I've seen multiple articles. This seems to be obviously getting clicks because a lot of Australian news sites are writing about it. Lucy Many, who is the Sydney I reporter for Sydney Morning Herald so kind of like gos Girly, wrote a big piece
recently and basically it name drops a few people. So there's a hell song heiress called Laura Toggs who's selling her clothes on Deepop, which I just for some reason think that's so such a weird coupling of two things. And essentially this article is saying that it gives you a peek into the life of a Christian preacher and glamorous mum of three, not to mention an owner of a very enviable wardrobe.
So a stretch.
But see, I don't know if they're stretching it or not, but I like, if you posted your deep hoop, do I get a peek into your the life of her agnostic potentially atheist, not Swedish blonde. I feel like we're just putting things together seeing what sticks well.
I want to talk about this because I have a deep pop and I've tried to have sold clothes once before. It is not worth the efforts. Yah, it's a lot of effort, and it's I don't know why they do it because if I higher price point items true. But think about it this way. Let's say I am a what's it called, like a salty person who has it out against the world, isn't doing very well, very envious of rich people and very angry at people who inherited money.
So I see these women selling their clothes on deepop, I decide to buy them and then tear them up and then dox them on Instagram being.
Like, oh Laura talk, so has that happened.
No, I'm just saying like, don't too much.
Not too much.
You're creative with that, but you know what I mean, Like, that's that's why I don't. I've got so much stuff that I want to sell you.
You don't sell your clothes because the old occasions might buy your clothes, cut them up and post that you sold them torn rags.
People.
I don't want to be liable. I don't want to have to have a conversation with someone I sell them something it's not what they wanted. I don't want to deal with it.
Back and forthtellers or you think e commerce is I get what you're saying, because selling there's a bit of a stigma around the secondhand economy anyway. I think that some things are deemed to be more appropriate to give away, like a couch or a speaker. Clothes get into a bit of a slippery slope, I think because of the
nature of how people get those clothes. I know there's a lot of back and forth conversation about how a lot of these influencers are getting these clothes for free or as payment for work, or they're buying them and then putting them down as like what's the word, I'm looking for tax deductions, they're lowering the taxable expenses. They're getting double paid, like I bought them for work, but now I'm selling them to you via deepop So I
know there's that angle of it. I also think that people associate selling things as kind of like a you're shaped for cash and it's really sad as opposed to the reality is.
These people are over consuming. They have too much stuff.
Probably feels like it's too high a value to just you take it to a local venez or a salvo, so they want to recoup some of their money back.
I think it's fine. I think if you're running it like a.
Business where you are making sure the closes are in good condition, the photographs look great, you're managing and shipping things out on time, it's totally fine. And I think the more people who who are deemed to be influential, the more they do it, the better.
It's going to be.
Like the perception of buying things secondhand needs to improve anyway, so let people sell things interesting.
This is flex and frooms on Keda.
We're talking about.
Nudes, nice about nudes, and that is specifically in the context of a segment called am I the Asshole?
Very good, Very juicy.
Basically, we troll this Reddit thread where people share their moral dilemmas in which they seem like they might be a bit of an asshole, but they aren't sure, and then we decide for them.
Let's get right into this because it's juicy and relatively hefty. The title is am I the Asshole? For posting our relatives. Now, dudes in the family group chat, here we go, Kyle is a distant relative. Well, he's actually my stepdad's cousin's kid. I'm already lost. I've never really been around him even lated at that point stepdad dad cousin's kid. That's a stranger relative, he says. Let's see, we hadn't seen each other for a while, but we did at a wedding
a few months ago. He got drunk and kept hitting on me, saying how hot I was and how he'd loved to get to know me better. I rolled my eyes to try and get away from him. Later on, someone gave him my number and he kept messaging me. I complained to my stepdad, who shrugged it off. Some people even thought it was cute or funny, which just encouraged him. A few days later, he started sexting me nudes. What's worse was people who were at the wedding would
tease me like it was some grand joke. About a month or two later, I had finally had enough and I sent everyone who had mocked me, and then some got nudes of Kyle family.
Mayha reading the thing you're.
Going to keep Chloe, So she sent her to everyone who mocked her, including the family who's making fun of me. Yep, so she's distributing shooting the nudes in the group chat, in which Kyle is also a member. Ooh, the aunt thought we'd make a cute couple.
She's talking through.
She's got a weird babe running. But this is I'm going to read out the people that got the nude. Okay, the auntie who thought we would make a good couple, send her Carl's nude. The parents who had raised him to be this crappy person, send him a Carle nude plus lude texts. My stepdad even received a printed picture on his pillow. Amazing how many people I could find via group chats and various social media and others that
I had numbers for. I've had a few family members telling me off and saying how gross it was sending them nudes of Kyle and how I invaded his privacy. Although the younger generation of cousins has taken to posting memes about him. When there's a family reunion and you can't decide which of your cousins to bang, am I the urshole for posting the nudes.
I love the mentality of if someone's going logo lower, because it is already read heart to be receiving nudes from your stepdad's cousin's son after you met him at a family function. It is even weirder for your family to be egging you on about how much your stepdad's cousin's son finds you attractive.
They are just amused by him pursuing you. All of it is super creepy and weird.
I think that the lengths you're going to to make sure it's known that he's making you uncomfortable, I love it. Like, if that's what it's gonna take, that's what it's gonna take. I'm sure she did the thing where she's like, hey, can you maybe not and he didn't listen. She said she told a few key members how she felt nobody helped her. So if that's the case, we're bringing up big guns and we're making sure it hurts. We are making sure your digital footprint is tainted. I don't mind.
It's revenge porn, is it?
Yeah?
Is it if it was sent to you unconsentionally? I think it still is.
Yeah.
Let's get the crime on both ends. They you can share a jail cell and talk to each other.
At what you've both done definitely not condoning, sexting or disseminating people's Is that even the word disseminating, distributing, distributing, disseminating anyway. So I guess they're both the asshole in this. But I think his asshole behavior predated hers. I think he was provoked, which maybe makes her less. So the whole thing is just extremely cooked.
I think where it's frustrating me is that how many times it could have just been stopped already stepdad, cousin's son.
Why are we at the same family event. I feel like this is fuck. This is not immediate, This is not even secondary. This is like the dregs family.
Two.
Why is your like grandma and your other relatives loving the way your your relative is coming on to you. It's creepy, it's weird. I'm going to go for and everybody sucks here and leave it at that.
Yeah, let's leave it at that.
Good luck to you all, flex and Foods.
Last week we had a bit of a chitty chat about you trying to unsubscribe from The New York Times Nightmare nightmarish. So you said that you wanted to click a button and they had advised you to talk to a bot.
I said, call, Oh, call, They're in the USA, Yes, So I get the chatbot.
There you go.
Chatbot has a name, clearly a bot, and saying I want to cancel? Are you sure I want to cancel? We give you fifty percent off. I want to cancel. You are making this too difficult for me, stop.
Okay, to which I said, You've got to be very careful of being rude to AI of any form, because read any news article about the fewtre of AI. They are going to gain sentience and they're going to turn on humans. Sank goodness for Isaac Asimov, who wrote the Law of Robotics. He wrote in a law that said, at no point can AI kill humans or their creators. So I think we're pretty good there. If not say please and thank you?
How are they are they going to revide by the rules.
We can't get into that right now, but we'll do a whole nother potty on that, because I've got a lot to say about this. But what I found to be really interesting is when I shared this conversation on social you would not believe the amount of people who are like, oh my goodness, I had the same exact experience.
With the New York Times. It was so hard to unsubscribe. I hated it. I can't believe this happened as well.
And it made me think, like, why is suffering so silent? And why is silence so contagious? Why does it take Frums's random story of just her average weekend, why does that be like start this avalanche of conversation people being like.
Me too, me too, me too, but never saying anything.
About it or not doing anything about it. At this point, you got all had your unsubscribed done. You could have all banded together, done a little call out, unionized call out call in, and gotten even a bit of recouping done, maybe a little bit of compensation in the cash form, because everybody stayed silent. New York Times is here ripping people off and forcing them to stay trapped in the subscription they don't want.
That is what it is, isn't it yet? Where is hble C on this?
Like I just got back from Bali. I had international roaming on my telecom. Telecom got it? They give it five dollars a day. Absolute genius such a bargain. Realized I hadn't. I hadn't turned it off for away five dollars a day. Savage just turned it off. You know, I'm in Australia and turn it off. Your dogs seriously pissed me off. All its ten coffees that you've absolutely ripped out of my pocket, you savage dogs.
I like Pogget, that's a good.
One, but it's pretty ridiculous, and it made me think of what other you know, like, what other experiences are we all having that we're not speaking about that If we did speak about them, we would immediately realize that.
Number one, we are not alone. But number two, we could get through this quicker, like we could start change.
We talked about it.
I'm not speaking about like doing something like big, grandiose.
Thing, but just on a small scale.
You're stuck in a subscription you don't want great or I think there was a similar experience with Adobe, Like over Covid, they were charging people to who wanted to cancel their subscriptions. So what would happen is you get your Adobe subscription and you pay monthly, and let's say the six month point, you're like, I can't afford this, I want to unsubscribe, Like okay, great, you just need to pay off the remainder and then you can unsubscribe
and they're like, well I don't have the money. They're like, okay, great, so just keep the monthly subcription. Then you could figure it out. And so even with things like that, you know, like I might have seen them and be like, oh that's weird.
I guess I'll keep it. But if I had said something.
And someone else had said something, someone else had said something, what would they've done?
And people did say something.
And then they gave everyone like free subscriptions or something amazing or something I don't know too much credit. The point is, thank you for sharing your harrowing story because it started a revolution.
I will continue to complain unprovoked.
Be the Karen. Be the Karen you want to see. And if you don't want to be the Karen no one very closely, they will do all the complaining that you won't.
You're listening to flex and frooms on Kita.
Do you remember flex Felon Bay I do the guy called Jeremy Meeks who allegedly was the hottest person ever to have been in a mugshot. If you don't remember, he was this man who had a little tear under his eye. Blue eyes, brown skin, beautiful green green ice actually green ie very very rare. I think only like two percent of the population has green eyes.
But if there's like a bajillion people in the world, that's a lot, right.
Yeah, you're always finding a negative.
You are, it's what a negative, But you're one of those like facts of negative people that I am.
Anyway, that happened, however, many years ago, maybe like five years ago, since his Instagram has one point three million followers, and he's getting model campaigns, et cetera, which is kind of like the ultimate glow up story because I think a lot of felons aren't felons on their own volution. I think you fall into crime. So I'm glad to see him fall out of it. You know, he was like doing crime since he was a teenager.
We're all doing crime.
Yeah, he was doing mugshot crime.
Yeah, we're all criminals.
Who really think about it, someone mus just get caught.
You can write a book of just little sayings. I'm convinced anyway. I say this because in the news recently there's been an Australian Felon Bay.
Oh.
So, last Tuesday the police police have Facebook pages. Yes, hilarious to me, they posted a photo of a wanted jobs.
Paying for this original influences, they're doing s funny posts.
The squad not turn up dog picks, So they posted a photo of a wanted woman up on Facebook trying to find her. But what happened is something they could not have predicted. The comments went wild. People are commenting saying she's wanted for stealing my heart. Everyone's praising her physical appearance. So in the mugshot, she's got kind of like I'm going to assume their extensions. She's got a little lick of makeup on, she's doing one of those
kind of like ribbed tank tops. She's looking good and basically everybody's gone absolutely ham on her.
But what she get all she wanted for?
They don't know what.
Yeah, I don't do that information apparently not so I'm going to have to go find someone because you're just you're what, Yeah, it makes it really calls that question dangerous me going to find the criminal you're looking for?
Well, one way one Norman has in the comment said it would be nice if people could stop being so visually judgmental and verbally victimizing on community calls for help. So now this woman's coming up to defend the police force for trying to do their job on Facebook?
Who's this woman?
Not just a random commoner? Oh, it's not really much that story, really, I just thought it was interesting. There's another felon base if you want to go check it out.
There's the Oh, I'll show it's mugshot though.
The original Felon Bay gorgeous Nike.
You've been listening to the Flex and Frooms catch Up podcast. For more, tune Indicator on DAB, or check it out right here on iHeartRadio