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Somewhere, sometime in some place, we all got fed that narrative that expressing how we feel would feel good. Why it's how you feel? Why you just go up to them and let them know that you like them, you don't like them, they made you uncomfortable. And then years go by, you had a bit of confidence and you say, I'm going to keep doing this thing where I express how I feel. And a few of us come to the same conclusion. That doesn't feel good. Why doesn't it
feel good? Well? Today on Flex and Frooms, we are discussing the vulnerability hangover. Let's start with this TikTok from here with Megs.
I'm currently having what Brene Brown calls a vulnerability hangover. She defines a vulnerability hangover as the gut wrenching feeling of shame and fear that pops up right after we undertake an emotional risk. For me, like for most of us, vulnerability is an ongoing practice. It's not something that comes easily. Even though I'm a therapist and have lots of tools, and last night I was in a situation where I was very vulnerable. And today I literally woke up feeling hungover.
I felt the shame and the fear, and I felt tired and not good in my body, and like, oh, this is not a great place to be. And so here's what I did to move through it. First, I identified my feelings and gave myself permission to feel them. I even cried a little bit, because for me, that's a really great way to release stored emotion. Then I called a friend who I knew would be supportive in
sharing my experience with. And then I checked myself talk and what I was telling myself about the situation that were really just assumptions. I did all this so I can practice being vulnerable again, because it's important.
Why do you look shell shocked? It's taken you somewhere? Has it's taken you somewhere? It took you somewhere?
Combat us?
Combat to us. This is what I needed to hear a thousand years ago, because as someone whose own family has described her as being emotionally detached in the past, you could imagine expressing emotions the ones that I once deemed bad was just not on my to do list. And through getting encouragement from friends, and my therapist to share I was looking for a positive feeling afterwards, like you know, a sense of empowerment, motivation, happiness, joy, and
it didn't happen. And I feel as though that's the key element we're looking for when it comes to doing things. We don't want to do it wants, it's just to feel good. And so it frustrates me about that as well is it's really hard to reconcile this idea that doing good things for yourself won't always feel good because in my head, I'm like, what's the motivation by Because back in my day, when you just powered through and didn't feel anything, it was sick because I didn't see anything.
And now when I have an issue, I'm like, I should have an upfront conversation with that person. I should let them know how I feel. You do it every time, and then I do it, and then it's like good because we got it off our chest, but bad because I'm like, oh, make just feel say.
You made it real. You make it real.
And also you now thrush yourself into the beginning of healing. I suppose it just been like, no, it's cool, don't even worry about that. I'm fine.
Without it.
So it's good to know that there's a word to it. Bad to know that. It's like vulnerability. Don't mean spike, because that would be sick.
I mean, then there would be nothing to be worried about because you would get or you'd be nothing to dwell over because you'd be happy to just share everything. Some people are better at sharing than others, but I think it depends on who you're sharing to. You shared one too many people that don't make you feel better. We're closing up the hatches. Yeah, so yeah, we've all felt that feeling. It's like when you yeah, well.
Let's cut the cameras. I don't like this is taking you personally taking me. I'm fine actually, but watching you not be fine is making me I feel uncomfortable. Let's wrap it up. Thank you.
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