The flex and Rooms Daily podcast.
Okay, some of them. I was listening to the podcast the other day and I realized when I laughed about.
Yeah, it's not it's an innay I told you before. It's a may what is it? It's it's not a name, but you know horses do it. It's like a yeah, I.
Need to abolish it. Like sometimes I listen, I think, what would this sound like if you hated us? Like, what is it that you chick up on and think? Fuck them? I reckon it's the nay.
That is a very wild exercise to be doing. Generally, it's probably not good for your mental health.
No, no, no, I think I think it's part of bettering yourself. Yeah, of course. But alas today we are talking about gossiping and a special thing Flexi says is the gossip hierarchy.
Well, I got it from this guy on Instagram, I mean on TikTok called brand.
FLEs brand Flekes with two z's. That's all I want to do for the explanation, because I really really need to go and get up right now. Wait them more.
Toilet.
That's not me trying to be cute. Literally, I'm gonna fucking burst I got a girl guy right out of.
Here, I got a girl fleck and frooms.
See, you just only be talking about gossiping. You can listen to the full segment on our podcast Can you get your podcasts? But I don't know if you remember, but back in the day, Facebook was the ideal place to collect gossip, be it in podcast groups or other kind of niche groups. They gave you the illusion of privacy, mutuality, screenshots exist, and we were sharing outside the group.
That was a big one.
Though.
There was a time I'm gonna say it was like twenty eighteen where you had to be part of like a local feminist Facebook group, a local girl podcaster group, and like in that group it felt sacred. But be real, there were seventy thousand people in there, your personal story. I could click on your profile, see our mutual green shot that information, take it out. It wasn't safe, but it felt like and that's what matters.
I was in that phase I reckon twenty fifteen, and I was spilling a lot.
You were you were, you were sharing your own business.
Yes, whoa in the group? In the feminist group? You know, we're all called by vibes. And then of course it evolved into a madman a fistfight fest. But Alas, this one is I've brought a love line in so I'm going to give you like a submission that was put on a Facebook. It is part of unimil love Letters. Now this was really are you in there? I'm infiltrated, got centered?
Okay, so someone's broken the rules taking a screenshot. Okay, and well mind implicated you.
This is public. But the UNIMEL love Letters was a thing where people would be on UNI Melbourne campus and see someone cute, so they text in. So this woman da da da, like, can we go on a date? I'm not sure if the stories were planted or if never, what's a success rate for that? But Alas, here is a mission. It's number four, four, five six one. Oh my gosh. There's a lot of submissions. You can't catch a break with rooms and this is a love letter
dear soon to be ex boyfriend. Oh I like that and as brackets soon to be We met a few years back when we were both in undergrad. I was new to the country and you were my first friend and we quickly fell in love. For years, you were all I had in Australia. You were my everything. Fast forward four years. We graduated together, moved in together, and tried to build our life together. We got jobs, very different jobs, and we met new people and made new friends.
What I haven't told you, and haven't had the courage to tell you, is that I met someone at work. He treats me very well, he makes me happy, and he supports me financially.
Okay, there we go here. I wasn't we there for a second, but he said the magic words.
I'm on board, dear soon to be ex boyfriend. I found a rich man.
Yeah that period, do us for a loop.
I'm in love with him. I'm sorry that this didn't work out. For a while. You were all I knew. Now, I know there is more to find out out there, brutal. By the time this gets posted, I would have already packed up my things and moved out of your house while you're at work. I'm sorry I couldn't break up with you in person. I'm a coward. Consider this love letting me breaking up with you. I have blocked you off every social media platform and I've changed my number.
Please don't try to find me. This person is sick. Your now ex girlfriend.
There is no way that is just creative writing some literary major I don't know what they call them in the straightlier, but that is not that person's not well.
Well, someone agreed with that's actually in the comments, the substance he supports me financially. But everyone in the comments is taking it very seriously, like it's a real thing. One person wrote how to permanently destroy someone, how to make someone have trust issues, how to make an f boy, how to ruin your own life because you realize what you did will return back to you. How to live with the fear of what if my part that does
the same thing to me? Good luck original poster. Your partner deserves at least one text.
By the time he figures out this is for him, like he's going to be in such a wayward state for an unnecessarily long amount of time before.
He's like, wait a second, that's for me.
It's brutal stuff. I totally understand. No, I don't understand, but I can empathize with someone who feels as though they've blown up their life so much that their only option is to do something so just catastrophic tru really nail it home. But I feel like there were so many easier ways to do this MESSI like this just feels number one so selfish, but number two so chaotic
and thoughtless and just mean. And you know what's so wild though, it's this like really selfish behavior, master is selfless behavior, Like this is the best way I could give this this information to you because I love you so much. Just like or write him a letter. You've just publicly shamed him for for what you know where he lives. Pop a letter in and just bounce a big fan of a letter. Have you ever done a letter I've done. I've drafted a letter in the notes.
We've all done a few notes letters, sent it through, but I haven't done a physical letter in my time for you. Yeah, that would be a really good pen to paper or something like it.
It's brilliant. You do it in your notes and then you start. It's just a lovely exercise to like do your beautiful writing. It feels very cathartic. Pop in the mail, wait for them to send you one back soon as I'll send you a physical one. Other times they'll reply via text message. But it's cathartic. I do like that.
But our producer Brook, who's just standing sitting by us, says she has sent something into one of those anonymous Facebook groups, and I was, so I need to hear this story, so I'm gonna hand over the mic please.
Yeah.
So I used to submit to my UNI ones. It wasn't just like love based ones. It was also just like general confessions, and they were probably the most disturbing thing I've ever come up with.
Slash written and read ohs not real.
Oh of course they're made up.
It was just literally by creatively disgusting, is how I describe it.
What did you get out of doing that?
It was just so funny because people would then reply to it thinking it was real, and it's like, you've got to be joking seriously, And that was kind of my idea of fun.
See, I think I'm the naive person because if I go on to like a Reddit forum, if I see a post on Facebook, I'm just assuming it's true. I'm like, why would someone lie? Who has enough time in the day to lie?
Well, there were so many details with it as well that it's like, who would be bothered to make this up?
So I think they thought it was real. You've lost it, babe, that's Brooky, our producer, always surprising us.
Literally, Brookies lived a thousand lives. One thing about me, I'm stale in comparison. I'm just like, why would somebody lie? This is like the most earnest and honest thing, but this is like categorically insane.
There you have it. I really did enjoy that.
Look.
I will say it's moments I this is what I wish that I was more committed to making my life feel like a movie or a sitcom or something. Because this is adding spice. This is gonna be a fantastic story to tell someone in future, like what's the worst way you've broken up with someone? There we go, there's gonna be a six part mini series on Stan.
Of course, Flex and frooms.
Right now for me has tuna in her hand, but it's boxed.
We've got a box of tuna. I'm gonna do my best, since we are on radio, to explain what this looks like. It's a white box about the size of my palm, and it says future tuna. It's very kind of twenty twenty twenty twenty two brand.
It is so cool. It's giving a five notebook helvetica. It's impact on actually, but if you're not familiar with typography, let's just say hell medica bold.
It's quite beautiful and it's from a brand called Future Farm. It's a revolutionary plant based tuna for all tuna lovers, and instead of the you and tuna, it's a v very tough.
Oh yeah, it's twenty twelve.
So I've got Chabra packets. I'm gonna give you this.
Should we just open the one packet though, because I feel like, let's not waste it. I have actually had a plant based tuna before, because I do dabble in plant based foods every now and then, because I know there's gonna be a time where I prioritize my health overconvenience, and the first way to do that is go plant based. But I don't want eat vegetables. So I remember on a shoot they had gave us plant based tuna wraps. It tasted just like tuna.
Taste a good Yeah. I've done to taste this years ago, of this plant based tuna vegan tuna. It was the worst thing I've ever had in my whole life. Really, It's like wet cat food mixed with carpet. So let's see how this one goes.
I guess open it up. Oh, it is in this silver foil aluminium space food vacuum sealed bag and it looks like we can't see through it. But based on the way Thrumi's playing with it.
It's slop, it's squishy. Oh my god, I'm scared tune out of a bag. Well, this smells like tuna. Okay, I don't want to get this on my tracks.
Before we try, we have to address the fact that if this was real tuna, we would never eat it out of a packet like this. It would never happen. Why are we making accommodations for fake tuna? I can smell that from here. It's wafting.
Okay, Well it's not real fish, so we can chill out the ingredients of water plant based protein which is soy pea, chick pea, olive oil, natural flowering, and to micro algae that is strong. Okay. So I'm actually not mad about it. I think if you put it into a pastuck, it tastes really good. It's just the packet is putting me off.
What I will say is that there's like this film around it, like this thick film that is so miscellaneous. If you don't look at it, it tastes a lot like tuna. You know, I picky eat it right. So a lot of what puts me off about food is the way it looks. So sometimes I eat my food in low lighting so I don't have to look at it, and I just like gobble it down. This is one of those situations. It does taste like tuna, but at what cost?
You know what. The more I think about it, I'm out of my tuna era. I used to eat tuna every day for lunch for two.
You're the reason why I started eating tuna.
Do you like it too?
It's a two parter for me. Would not stop posting about tuna, sirena' is that how you pronounce it? Serena? Not sure, but she wouldn't stop posting about it. And then my best friend at the time would make this snack dish roast pumpkin and tuna, And so I wouldn't have tried tuna generally if I hadn't seen you obsessed with it. Tried it. It was amazing, But then I figured I'm actually a John West girl.
Nah. That's where I got it. In the segment, and we're done. Thank you so much. Shout out to Future Future, Future Future FUM. The fact that it's vegan, it's pretty crazy. If we put this into a rap, I think it would be delicious. Oh it taste It's just like tuna. So if you're a vegan, you want tuna, I recommend I would say yes.
I would say it's maybe more flavorful than tuna, because why was that micro piece still lingering in my mouth like it's catching meat exactly?
This is flex and frooms.
It is not often I see something on the Internet that makes me question how I see the world. I think it makes me think briefly, and then I scroll past and I'm back to my own biases about the way things should be. But this person made a video about gossiping, not that we should or shouldn't do it, but in particular if we're going to the rules and guidelines for how.
We should approach it.
This TikToker brand Underscore Flakes with two z's describes the gossiping hierarchy.
Like this, I love to gossip, but in order to really enjoy gossiping, you need to trust the people that you are gossiping with. Don't that any present you the gossip hierarchy of trust that I've created. On the bottom of our hierarchy of trust, it's anyone in the world that you may now, Celebrities, people you follow, people on the street, just anyone that you see that exists in your mind that you could potentially gossip about or gossip to. They're on the bottom of the totem pole. We trust them.
The least above them is acquaintances. People that you're friendly with, you may not necessarily love, or you might not be their best friend, and you might feel comfortable gossiping to them about a few things. But if I were you, I wouldn't gossip with them about much because you don't know how much you can trust those people. I love
them is obviously your best friends. These are some of the best people to goasip with because not only do you likely trust them and they likely trust you, you probably also have a ton of mutual people that you can gasp about. Top of the hierarchy. You know, we've got our moms and our significant others. There is nothing like gossiping on the phone to your mom about everybody. And that is why this hierarchy is set up like this,
because while there are some exceptions. The one basic rule is you should never gossip about someone higher up in the hierarchy to someone lower up in the hierarchy.
The thoughts are in my head and they're running around. They've got little legs, no arms, one head each, and I cannot control them. I think gossiping is very important because I think that it encourages people to be better communicators. Because the one thing about gossip, in order for it to be effective, it has to be understood as intended. If I'm coming to you to gossip and you're not hearing me as I intend, then it's pointless for me.
It's not fun for you. So I think that, like there's two types of gossip in particular, maybe even more. There's sacred gossip, such as such as you know your best friend has cheated on their partner, but you don't even think it's a bad idea, But like you're best friends with a partner as well, Like that's sacred stuff that's not everyday chat conversation at the coffee shop that requires, you know, an air of caution. But then there's community gossip.
It's for everyone. It's enjoyment for the community. It's like for me to enjoy, for you to enjoy. It's small talk, it's water cooler chat, it's contextual. And sometimes every now and then sacred gossip gets into community gossip. But then you just take out a few key names and details and then it's a free for all.
Right, like domokes oh dumin, dumoi dumi. They're like kind of like blind items.
Yes, it's like blind items where it's like people need to see this information and you've done your due diligence by taking out anything so incriminating that it's clear who it's about. In this instance, though, I like the hierarchy, I just don't know if I use it.
I have dabbled in using the hierarchy and otherwise using it. Yeah, I gotta shut my mouth sometimes.
Now it's not the time.
Now it's not the time. No, I would say, would you say you and I gossip? Yeah?
Constantly. I feel like I know you had one conversation that isn't gossip.
We actually haven't. And because it's nice, because we're in the same industry, I think we come to the table with different types of gossip from different people. But I'd say I share pretty much everything with you that's your industry gossip.
The thing about the gossiping that I do with you,
in particular is it's multi prompt. One thing that I need from people that I spend a lot of time with is trust, And I think the way that you build trust is you create situations where the stakes are a little bit higher than usual because you're bearing something, your own vulnerabilities, your own secrets, your own context, or just letting someone have a pick behind the curtains, like this is what happens behind the facade or behind the performance.
You get to see what's happening behind there for context, not because it's the new norm, not because everyone gets to see so you see the full picture. I think it's amazing. I will say, though I used to feel like gossiping was fun with everyone, You just can't gossip with everyone because some people want to bring in morality into it. Oh but there are a nice person, maybe the situation shut it.
Not interested you have to be down to clown. Yeah, some people aren't. Though it would be a mix of feeling like a bad person but also feeling that the person is a bit of a loser when they don't want to gossip. Literally, like if you're four it's like people that don't eat McDonald's.
Okay, people who don't drink soft drink. Oh, shut get off, there go Wait idiot, the world is a scary enough place you don't want to enjoy. You don't want to come down to our level. We subterranean. It's us and Satan's people.
Sometimes, like I'll gossip with someone about someone else and then they know more gossip than me. But I've acted like I got the inside scoop. Ooh, that's always a bit embarrassing. Yeah, that's like meta, I'm so sorry that happened to you. But yeah, I gossip about everyone. I gossip about you. You have to.
Yeah, it's necessary. But I will say, like I said before, I think that gossiping we should do more of it with less people.
Mm hmmmm. So yeah, it's information sharing, yes, but it's.
About figuring out, like what are your own personal milestones or metrics or segments for how much gossip you're willing to share, because I think everyone deserves to feel as though there's someone worthy of gossiping too. But you have to know how far are you willing to go with this person? You're gonna be in the trenches with them. When this comes out, you know, is that you're right
or die? I don't think so keep it light. We need the small talk version of gossip and the deep conversation version of gossip, because.
It'd be very attempting to just spill your guts when you're in a particular mood. I'm running around Catera saying, Oh, this happened, that happened. Did you hear about this person's paycheck? Do you hear this person hates this person?
It's coming out of my ears. Really, you just got to work on your media training carrying styles at venice this. I love. What do you love about the movie?
Harry?
I love that this movie feels like a movie king behavior because that's what I need to start doing.
He's like the Marilyn Monroe of.
Literally, what did you think about the event?
It was interesting?
What were you expecting from this event for it to be interesting?
This is flex and frooms.
I feel like the FBI agent in my phone is really really good at correcting my algorithm to ensure that everything I'm interested in is what comes up on my feed. Every time I think about my relationship to ambition and doing stuff, I want to overcorrect and do nothing, which is just not sustainable for my lifestyle.
Right, So when you want all or nothing.
Pretty much, you know, like when I'm working really hard, I pretend that my fantasy is to be on like a farm commune. No, babe, you've never wanted that in your life. You're a layer. But I saw this Instagram post from ABC News headline dream job already had me right. Meet the Tokyo man who gets paid to do nothing. I'm thinking, is it clickbait? Is it clickbait?
Probably?
Basically, there's this thirty eight year old guy who charges approximately one hundred dollars per booking to a company client and simply exist as a companion. So wherever you're going, I'll come. That's it. No expectation to do stuff with you, just be where you're going. He said that he got paid to go to a park with a person who wanted to play on a seesaw or two person job, two person job. He also got paid just to accompany
someone for lunch. So not only are you getting paid to be there, but whatever you end up doing is on someone else's dime. A professional friend, one might say, but not even a professional acquaintance. Yeah, professional presence, a professional presence.
I totally get that. I think that's why podcasts are so popular, because you just want someone with you. I totally get that. You just want something in your eggs. You don't want to think. You just want someone with you, don't want to be alone. I also think, have you noticed that thing where if someone's really staring at you and giving a lot of attention, it's relaxing. Do you ever get that?
You don't get that.
You don't get that when someone's drawing in your hand and oh, your back or something. It's nice because it feels it's also nice because the attention is on you in some cosmic way. Yes, I do like that.
I think I like the passive attention better, Like, like you're saying, being in the same room as someone knowing that we could have a discussion if we wanted to, but having no pressure to do anything. That's quite nice. But here's the thing. If you've ever fantasized about living a life that's different to yours currently, it can be done. What's that quote, if you can dream it, you can do it.
Yeah, Joey's out on that one. I've got many dreams.
Don't rule it out. Let this Tokyo man be your guiding star. He can get paid one hundred bucks to do nothing. You can too.
I mean I think we do in some respects. Yeah, yeah, get out. That's for another segment.
You're listening to flex and Frooms on Kita.
The other day we were talking about feng shui and was it about the studio and about how we've got a poltigeist and maybe if we got better feng shuei the poltogist would be gone.
I don't understand how we get to any of our tangents, to be honest, but I do know a few hot tips to anyone who wants to, I guess make their room more energetically efficient. Number one, never have your back facing the door. Sorry to produce a brook. It's bad, bad, I'm not sure what for, but don't do it. You should be in a commanding position. That means that from your vantage point, you should be able to see the full room, or you know, the most dominant part of the room.
Well, that's kind of like I'd go out for a yung cha with my family every Sunday and Dad would only be comfortable if he was sitting in the very corner looking at the whole restaurant. It's like a gangster thing, like you need to have your guns so you can kill anyone who comes in par and really I just want to have that.
And there's one more thing as well. I don't know if you are you are moving soon. It's a bit of tips about your bedroom. Natural materials are gonna be best for grounding. I'm talking woods, you know, I'm saying marbles. I know how the coins are stacked up. But also, if you're the kind of person who likes having art in your bedroom, be careful about what kind of art you put above your head, because apparently you're gonna energetically absorb that. So nothing too dark, nothing too hectic, nothing
too like anti vibe. It's important.
Whoa okay, because I'm in that mirrored situation where opposite my bed of this whole like floor length mirror.
Oh that's not good at all.
Yeah, that's all. And I'm seeing myself. I've got two eggs above my bed, which is quite cute. This is inviting spirits into her sanctuary? Is it?
Well?
Open portals, Fanks, just FYI, because I want to go into it. I want to actually get an expert in but the words mean in Chinese wind water. Feng is wind and shui means water. And it's just about the energy up and down. And da da da, thank you.
It's about the energy up and down.
Da da da.
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