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This is the Flex and Firms catch Up podcast.
It is Flex and Firms on CATA. We have come across a phenomena called the fuzzy wrecking ball friend correct kind of sounds.
Like it is? It is what it sounds like.
The friend who is really sweet and they mean well and they're very unassuming. It somehow they annihilate everything that comes in their path like a truck.
Listen to this.
I think the hardest friendship dynamic to reconcile is the friend who is a fuzzy wrecking ball. And by that I mean this friend may not be wantonly malicious. It's not like one of those the call is coming from inside the house type of situation. They may even be so sweet and so fun and such a good time
to hang out with. But because they may not be the most emotionally mature or dare I say even the smartest, a lot of their actions definitely inconvenience you and go beyond inconvenience you and kind of like mess your life up in a lot of ways, whether it's hitting on the person that you have a crush on, saying something to a group of people, that they shouldn't have said that was super personal to you. Whatever it may be, it could be in small ways and it could be
in big ways. The thing you need to know about the fuzzy wrecking ball friend is that even though they're fuzzy, even though they're so sweet, they are still a wrecking ball. What she was trying to say to me specifically was that my intuition has never really been off, So why do I continue to give certain people so many many chances? And I think there's definitely a difference between a gut feeling and something that's like a panic response from something that happened in the past.
You know what's so crazy.
When I told Freumi about the concept of a fuzzy wrecking ball friend, she points to out producer Brow and she says, and I quit, I see that for you, which is just the craziest thing to say to someone. But then she did double down and say no, because we're so similar. And let me askually, we're so similar clarified place place I hadn't heard.
I think a definition. I think it's a self made term. Bye again. I can tell these bloody and quote a millionaire number four. Ever, that's the person that started it.
Yeah, started this mess. Just the term fezzy fuzzy, fuzzy wrecking ball. I saw Brookie, our producer, and her and I soon doubling down. I doubled down, and then I said, I'm the same, so I'm allowed to say it. I've had enough of TikTok. I've got nothing more to add to this. You just can't be in peace anymore.
Just know that every single quirk or slightly annoying characteristic that you thought was just like hidden't slightly concealed from everyone. No.
No, it's been clocked and it's been named.
Seriously, we should just start doing a series of them. This is my theory on the dolphin smooth back friend.
This is my theory.
It's the bit you've never had back me and you know as for that reason, she doesn't understand what it's like tennis skin insecurities.
She does not have the same lived experience period, and we need to.
Respect her anyway. I see where they're going.
Personally, I'm probably at the end of my tether in terms of investigating friendship.
Sounds so wound up.
Right at the end of my text, I pressed, I love that this has a name for it because you know, we've had one one too many, we'll say conversations generally, but about friendships, and it's the same archetype that gets called out, the same Oh they never like reply or they never plan anything, and it's like, can we get it right? But when you push that to the side, there are these other, like slightly more unique archetypes that do just as much damage. But unfortunately for us, did
not have a name. You know, when people like, you know, I don't like the person, she's just too nice.
You're like, what is that? What are you talking about?
What is clutching?
It's clutching. But also it's like, oh no, what you're perceiving is to be nice. It's like you feel like this person's like generally manipulative, so anything they do is not gonna come across. Well, so now you found a way to frame nice as like a negative characteristic.
Back to the fuzzy wrecking ball though, what do you actually do with that?
Because I think that I've kind of like, I don't have any fuzzy wrecking ball friends. I think I just have like ditsy wrecking ball friends. She did mention ditzy being one of those characteristics but I've just had in the past one too many friends that are just so acutely aware of the damage that they do and how disruptive they are, not only to themselves but to other people.
And I think, you know, when you are the doctor phil Oprah friend, it's it's really validating to be able to help someone with their problems.
You're like, oh, this is really sick. They need me.
And then you're like, no, like the common denominator is you. And while you're doing that wrecking everybody's lives, you just go on about your day like you're just like starting
storms and leaving, starting storms and leaving. And you know, I read what my issue was with that, or where my fault was, is that I wasn't very good at defining what types of friends I had, so I was kind of like accumulating all these people that I just was around a lot by virtue of us like both being DJs or both living in Sydney, or both going to the same parties and spending a lot of time, and then having like that claim by proximity, and you're like, damn,
like now I'm claimed by default and I didn't even like you that much, and you're a problem. Yep, you got a reputation.
That precedes you.
People do this when your name comes up, and I don't mind that generally when it's like well received, like you've earned your reputation of being like annoying or like Caddy or whatever.
But then a reputation by proxy. No, I do not want to be near that. So you are the fuzzy wrecking ball friend. I couldn't be if I tried.
I'm very sensitive and clever and I'm not ditsy and scene.
What are you? Are you the wrecking ball friend you ever been? No, I'm a doctored pheel friend. Do you know what friend I used to be? Though?
I had to really grow out of that really quickly. Remember I told you I was like a bit of a reserved friend. Like I was there, you asked me a question, I'll answer it. But I had like my own little special interest, so I like was in the group, floating around, but never in the drama or whatever. And then I got to like sixteen seventeen eighteen, I was like, these people need me. I gotta say some shit, right.
So you do you stand up for your friends, You stick up for the person in class, You assert yourself and it goes well. But then everyone's like, great, well default to you.
You got it. I don't need to do anything because Lil has my back. She got me.
And then what happened is that I had to become an authority on like everybody's personal issues. And then I became the radically honest friend.
Oh we hate that. You don't always want to be that.
You know, No, sometimes I don't want to tell you the truth because you living on delusion is way more fun, you know, like I had, I could picture it vividly. It's like a friend would come to me for advice and I would tell the truth in like the most brutal way, because I like, this is my purpose, it's my role. And now I'm like, come, you cheated on your boyfriend won't cuddle. He was weird anyway, he didn't right finger. You did write by yourself. You chose yourself.
Well, shout out.
I'm definitely the Ellen friend coming for a dawn. Yeah, some inane chat.
You are the Ellen friend. It's a good it's a very good skill to have.
I'm a lot less Ellen now that I have the brown hair.
Well, that was a jump scare because I was expecting blonde to come out and the way you just like folded it backwards.
My eyes, my eyebrows a raised.
I was like, oh not what I will say though, being the Ellen friend is a good skill because the one great thing about through me, especially in like a social context, she can maintain the vibe.
Like she's down.
And that's a very special characteristics because she never doing too much. At least I never see you doing too much, right, because I'm the opposite, Like I can start a vibe, but I will never sustain. I'm like, you've got thirteen minutes. I maybe cooked in the corner having it.
What do you call it? A d and M a dn M or you're just vibing when you're like VI just in your own space. Yeah, I'm like, this is great.
It was quite beautiful to be in your presence.
But we have different skills, and like, that's an amazing skill of yours that I don't know. There's a full bra on the ground. Remember that time fast forward when sum is like I'm a particular person. Everything goes where it should. I'm never messy.
I would have left out there.
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