Flex and Frooms Flex and Frooms.
This is the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast.
It's Flex and Frooms on CATA Lucky for You his podcast Miss You. We have some learning for you, a bit of education. It's going to change your life for the better, I promise. Cats out on TikTok, it's about k A t h E r o u T shared this concept that's originally from Fugly Betty on Twitter I instead of y. It's about vibe theory. This idea that there are key roles that need to be filled in any group dynamic crip to be maintained the vibe that
is now. There are about eight roles, so please listening. Ears open. We won't go over them more than once. To begin. We've got the vibe curator. They're highly social and they connect all the members of the group hangout. They're about setting the right ambience, the right tone, the right flow. It doesn't mean they the most popular, but they're a key facilitator and often the gloom sure. The vibe stabilizer, a quiet but integral role. They're kind of
the work. They maintain the equilibrium and the balance. When it's too rowdy, they calm it down when it's not fun enough, they bring it up kind of like, what was that analogy that Gwyneth Paltrow gave the other day, the temperature adjustment. Yes, yes, yes, we've got the vibe amplifier, the reliable entertainer, often highly intoxicated. We encourage responsible drinking and the responsible service of alcohol. They initiate the desire to make the most out of every night a big one.
Let's get near it. Very important. They often determine the flow of the night. If they're done, usually we're all done, but if there are we're are next up. We have the vibe terrorist derogatory. They bring a sense of mayhem and vibe terrorists. Yes, they bring a sense of mayhem and dysfunction to the vibe through unusual social interactions. It can help to spice things up or disrupt the energy. That friend who won't stop talking to that strange person.
Know that friend who doesn't know when to let the mayhem dissipate. Okay, we've got the vibe miss on sing. They're not a central character of the evening, but they're crucial to the hangout simply because they flesh out the numbers. Okay, sometimes a Vibe just needs bodies, just needs energetic bodies, lumps of tissue to just be around. Now, they happily participate. They're usually down for whatever, kind of like a non event in the best way possible. A neutral participant. We've
got the vibe ornament. Generally the person that's there because they're the most aesthetic or they got the most clout. They're to be pretty or kind of like up the stock of the hangout. You know, they make the hang look good. Yeah, they know people. They're the plug. They'll get you on the door, that kind of thing. Now, they often don't contribute much, but they're kind of like sparkly shiny people.
They look good doing it.
They look good the vibe scapegoat. Now, when the Vibe terrorist takes things down a black hole, the Vibes escape goes a person you blame because we don't really let the terrorists know that they are the terrorists. We've got the Vibe understudy. Last, but not least, they're an outsider to the usual social structure of the group. They're a newbie or a visitor. They add some spice to the evening.
There may be auditioning for a recurring role they're professional floaters. Wow, don't say too much at once, now, don't say too much to one vibe. Do you think you are?
Okay?
I think this Actually, which vibe do I think you are? I mean, go ahead, which vibe do you think I am?
Well? We were together at a social engagement a few weekends ago in Melbourne, in melbourn Sea and we were in a group dynamics. So I guess yeah, go ahead, And are we going to base it on that or based it on like general cumulative?
I would say general cumulative. Now to me and the way that I've observed through me fibe terrorist, No way, I would say through me is a curator or a stabilizer? Wow. Now, the reason I perceive you to be a curator is because you are sure or to ensure that the invite is passed on, that you're getting the right bodies in a room you're chatting or whatever. But the stabilizer, I think that people might perceive for me to be not one dimensional, but they only see one side of you.
They don't see the work you're doing behind the scenes to ensure everybody's being thought of, everyone's being considered, The story is flowing nobody's getting left out for me often likes to ensure that if you know there's bodies that have like pulled away, she's bringing them in or hey, where's that person? They haven't really been thought of. That's very important role.
That definitely didn't happen last weekend.
We went up to the toppers level when people break out of the party to go to an upstairs room.
It was accidental. We were being given a tour, that's true, and that tour once we got to the third floor, it had to stop briefly. But you did say, oh, should we invite so and to up Then we'd have to go back downstairs to get them.
I mean one of the one of the girls had a broken legs, so yeah, she was cutting the stables when we were okay. I would personally call myself a that's a good summation. That's what I'd like to be.
Okay.
I would say that you are the vibe amplifier and or the ornament.
Thank you?
Is that what you wanted to cure both of them?
I'm the ornament, let's be rich. Or I would say the vibe understudy. So the reason why I would describe myself as a vibe ornament is because I like to do what I want to do in my own time and I only need one friend to do it with me. So I'm not really concerned in a group consensus of you know where we should go next, or you know what should we listen to. I'm down and I'll start it myself. And so if I want to have a conversation,
I'm gonna pull you aside and have it. I'm not really concerned in making sure that everybody is on the same page before we go and do something. And really, I just want to look good, feel good. I mean, it's it's worth I just wanted here to do. But get me on a on the right night and I'll be a vibe amplifier. The vibes a like getting met. But mostly if I'm not gonna be an ornament, I just want to be an understudy. I want to float into a dynamic, you know, get the lay of the land,
ask some questions, get the gossip, float out. Is flex coming back to the next one? Yeah, yeah, she should be there.
Probably not very mysterious that that style of being.
Yeah, I just don't want the pressure. So that's why one of my favorite roles is professional plus one sa Flexi calib it is gully.
I'll keep that in mind.
Literally fru meno through me boo, mummy, lex Mom.
You're listening to Flex and Frooms. I'm kaita Flexi. I am an emotional person. I would also put you in the same category, given that we are humans and not cyborgs yet. Yeah, the quantum computer is gearing up in Australia. Is that related to robots?
I'm not sure, Ai Singularity.
I get a message from a woman called Tash cull So on an episode a few weeks back. You can listen to all of our episodes where you ay podcast it's Flex and Frooms. But anyway, I think a while ago I talked how I don't know how to sit with my emotions. You know how psychologists and online people say.
Feel your feelings, feel your feeling.
See with your emotion.
What sick?
Pardon me, I'm scared. Anyway, this chick had to listen and she set me in this advice.
Okay for rooms.
I was just listening to your latest episode with Flex and I noticed that you said you didn't know how to sit with your emotions, and funnily enough, I never knew how to as well up until six months ago. When I'm working with my psych I'm not a psychologist, so don't follow this advice. But what they mean when they say to sit with your emotions is when you're
feeling anxious or angry. Usually you'll have a feeling in your body, for example, like a tightness in your chest, or a warm feeling in your hands, or a heaviness in your face or a heaviness in your chest. I usually get a lot of emotions in my chest and face area. I think that's quite common. And what you're meant to do is sit there and focus on that feeling. So it's not so much about focusing on the thoughts that are spiraling in your head or thinking about things
and ruminating about things. It's more just focusing on what your body is actually feeling in the moment. So I'll do that like every time I'm feeling really angry or anxious, and yeah, it actually really helps. I will say that I've had a massive difference in my life over the past six months, Like emotions still feel really hard, but yeah, that's what it means by sitting with your emotions. I guess I hope that.
Helps first and foremost.
This woman has sent me full voice notes all the perfect time. Did she start a once?
No?
Did she waffle? Not at all, So thank you toch for example.
Comp that everybody and please copy. So Yeah, feeling your emotions. What I've realized is I get exma between my fingers and sometimes I wake up at night, like last night, and they're really itchy, and that means I'm anxious. I don't know how it works. Yeah, I itch it to pieces and that's what I know. Oh, something's wrong in the head.
And so we shouldn't be trying to dig deeper as to what you're anxious about, because that would be intellectualizing.
Or I think we do.
But then we also just acknowledge a feeling each the fingers and then go back to sleep. Okay, not sure if that's what I was meant to take from it, but thank you Tah for sending in the voice note.
I appreciate that you're listening to Flex and Firms on Kaita.
We have some good news and potentially some bad news. The pendulum has swung in a very fairer way. The Internet has said clean girl talk, clean girl aesthetic is out and now we're advocates for messiness and I quote mindful messiness. I love a pr spin on what is regular human behavior? Is it chaos? No, it's generating mess mindfully.
Listen to this while it's getting a makeover, let's look into it. The vibe has shifted. Lex culture has been replaced by social realism, the girl boss has gone down the dream and chaos is raining in our previously estheticized fees.
Do you know what the issue is? It's that these trends go from accessible and achievable and really simple to execute to the most extreme. Like on TikTok for the last year, you couldn't just put your hair in a barn where some gold hoop earrings and some lip balm. It had to be the slickest of buns, the most ornamental hoops possible, to Christine doughnut glazed lip I see
champagne cuticles. And suddenly it gets to a point where to even maintain like it's not even about the ethos of what we're doing right, which is encouraging people to be mindful of their appearance, but where reducing it down to these really unattainable labels that can only be executed in like photo shoots.
Yeah.
Not.
Even the people that they're referencing as clean girls are clean girls, not in the way they think this mindful mess though. Again, they're gonna start calling depression rooms trendy. People are going to be advocating for a lack of sense in their physical spaces because someone on the Internet told them it's mindful to not clean up after themselves. And you might think that I'm being a nark about it,
but this is how it happens for everyone. For everybody who you think is of sound mind, there are twenty four thousand who are easily manipulated.
Do you reckon?
Absolutely? Absolutely? Before you know, I'll be scrolling through the internet and there'll be an article that says ballet flats to in and the comps like, oh no, I hate them.
But what are you gonna do? You know, resign?
Resign?
You know.
I put a pair of ballet flats that I had from twenty thirteen on my story. Eighty percent said they're disgusting. Did you see them?
I don't think I did, think, but I'm not surprised. But that do that poll in nine months time, and the pendulum will have swung again. Preach I like trends. I like trend culture. I think it's fun and interesting and exciting, but people rarely make it work for them. It's like, what you need to do is when there's a trend that mirrors your life style, lean in. So yeah, I was, I was on it. Don't oscillate so far out of your reality to do something you don't want
to do and then do it poorly. Please, no shade, just an observation.
I am always thinking of new and inventive dating ideas.
You shut up.
I came across this genius idea for a date.
So you didn't invent this one.
Well, I'm going to add flavor to it.
So yeah, I wish we could all normalize having a first date where we run errands together. So if there's no chemistry, at least I got light bulbs and picked up my dry cleaning.
I love this idea.
Go on a date, but don't go sit idle in a movie watching a movie you maybe hate. Go to a supermarket, get all your stuff, go home. If there's no vibe, you've done your errands, and if there is a vibe, you've experienced a boyfriend girlfriend experience.
I don't like that. Why It sounds like something I would like, but I don't like it because what I want for our society is to bring back the romance that the poets were writing about, because we haven't had that in a millennium, okay a millennium.
Yeah, yeah, I guess I could only think of Sylvia Platt.
See, we haven't had the you know, and the autumn leaves are falling as I tuck a strand of hair behind her beautifully almond shaped it as.
We post Prima Donna.
Yeah, literally, we don't have that. And I just don't relationships get boring anyway? Why do we want to simulate the boring part? First? I just think the best partnered experience is to do something fanciful and fantastical. I would rather go on an adventure with someone and never see them again and be like, oh my goodness. And then we went here. We went here, and it was just I'm not even like that. Then go to take my local spot.
Yeah true, my favorite aisles, not at all.
And I just feel like, are you coming on my Errand I'm going on your errand you're.
Coming on, oh yeah, coming on my Errand.
Okay, so you're initiating the date, then yeah, I'll say, like you've never done in your life. Shut up, I have clearly. Okay, I get what they're saying because a lot of people's dating experiences they just don't really go anywhere and they get let down by the investment of time and money and energy. But that is the exchange, that is the transaction. Yeah, I think if we try and reduce it to let me put in as little effort as possible, or let me make sure this doesn't interrupt,
you know, the flow of my day. I don't think that will beget the outcome you think you're looking for.
All right, I'll pay that. I mean, I'll still try it.
Oh please when the opportunity presents, so you're going to be proactive about it.
You reach Absolutely not great, absolutely not
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