Pad, Flex and Frooms.
Flex and Frooms.
This is the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast.
Sweety Pike's on today's show, We Must Discuss for Me has the ultimate list of scary movies. It's not just someone's opinion that they've been calculated by heart rate.
It's very interesting. You'll enjoy it. Ladies and gentlemen. It's time for Flexi's Big Question of the Week.
It's the segment where I ask you a question to get you to think more deeply about what you think, why you think it, and who is influencing the way that you think people. For the last few weeks, we've been talking about misconceptions and stereotypes. How are you being misconcept misconceived, misconceptualized?
What is that?
How are you being perceived incorrectly by the people around you? But also how might you use that to your advantage? That's or about flipper transmuter. We can't be suffering every day for the question this week, it's going.
To be a hard one.
Oh oh, I don't know my own answer, but I think that it'll be juicy anyway.
What is the last thing you changed your mind on? Right?
My eyes are darting around the room.
I feel like I'm constantly taking a new information changing my mind. But the reason that I'm asking is because I think a lot of people, myself included, can feel quite validated holding strong opinions that are steadfast and never changing, because it makes you look like you are consistent and reliable and what you see is what you get.
But I think it's very wise to.
Be able to say, oh, I got some new information and I changed my mind and now I see things differently. One thing that comes up is a friend of mine was talking recently about how she used to be quite a like a people pleaser, like that was her approach to life, and she has never seen it as being manipulative, but she often talks about feeling taking advantage of by her peers, and she feels like she does everything for her people and no one does anything else for her.
And recently she was listening to the show about the New York Times advice article that we talked about. It was a similar story of this guy feeling as though like he does too much for his friends, he cares too much, And our kind of response was, have you put yourself in this position where you were giving with the intention to receive something in return. It's not coming, and now you feel silly forgiving so freely. And so
she read that piece and was like whoa. Yeah, she's like, I have this fear of being left behind, like the odd one out in the group, like the one that people won't realize is missing, or they won't realize when I'm not talking, they won't realize when I'm not okay, And so I make myself available. She's liked, but people don't really ask you to do anything. So like I give myself to people like offer constantly. I'm always there. I anticipate what they need, so they feel indebted to me.
So they feel like I could never give up on her, Like she's so amazing. She does X, Y and Z for me. So I was like, that's big, the big thing to change your mind on.
Scary it is.
I think I'm changing my mind on the value of meditating. Oh my gosh, oh my word.
I feel like this, this is always bound to happen at some point, is it not.
Yeah, it's because I was getting mixed signals about what meditating is like fundamentally, is it having no thoughts? Is it clearing your brain? Is it finding a way to be peaceful. But I was I've explained to you before for me that I don't think my mind is a very busy place, Like if I am not talking, I don't feel like I have an internal monologue that's like confusing me.
Or like it's all over the place.
But then I thought to myself, why is it that every time I go to sleep, I'm having all of these thoughts. They're all just like coming up, And I'm like, oh, I'm so creative, I'm so witty.
It's like, no, baby, Like you.
Distract yourself all day with stuff, like you watch a lot of stuff, you consume a lot of stuff, but give yourself time to like decompress.
And so I've started.
Meditating again people before bed. No, I'm trying not to do that because then I just end up sleeping. But this idea of like giving yourself time to number one, not not have thoughts, But what thoughts keep coming up when you don't cloud your mind with other stuff?
I feel like I changed my mind all the time. I guess I don't want to give anyone reason to doubt me. But maybe to the point where like I don't really have necessary I can't think of a single opinion that I've had my whole life that I'm steadfast on. I Well, the one thing I think which could be subject to change is that that's a good thing. I think that I'm open to other opinions about stuff.
But what's your foundation?
Yeah, I wonder if I don't have that? Oh, genuinely, I think that's where I've I've been thinking about a lot with the book Something to get to the bottom of.
I love that.
I don't think everyone has it. I think I said there might be some people like me.
I think there are plenty of people like you.
Yeah.
As always, if you have an answer to Flexi's big question, which is what's the last thing you changed your mind on? Go to our instagram right now. It's Flex and Rooms. There'll be a question box on our Instagram's and that so we can put your answers, and then coming up on Thursday this week will share a lot of your answers as we do. It's always so much fun. New people are insightful, so insane. No man, that too, but I like it.
I'm an absolute slut for a scary movie.
Tell me why.
I'm very excited to see a ranking of the top ten scariest movies of all time. And this is not just going off vibes, it's going off a scientific bit of a rubric. A rubric. They're calculating this off the average heart rate of the person watching, also the average heart rate of them watching during the movie. That's the comparison, the overall difference, and from that they have produced a list of ten movies. Do you have any suggestions of what could be on there?
Saw no Doctor, I want the Blair Witch Project.
No, but I agree.
Maybe that's just entry level spooks. So if you're a real high buff, you've probably seen crazy stuff. What about the Ring or something horrible movie? What about the strangers? Oh, there's twenty twelve movie horrible. These people with the sacks on their head, they just appear in the house.
There's someone out there.
I was even scared by a scary movie, The Funny Movie, you know, the trilogy, The Funny Way with Anna Anna Faris. Let me read you out some of these movies and you tell me, playing a long home if you have watched any of them. If you are a spooky movie a ficionado. Number one, sinister No, I see some Sinusa things happening every day my heart reads copping off our number two host no Skin Skinner RN Insidious. Yeah, I've heard of that. I haven't watched it. The Conjuring, Yeah,
I've heard that's horrible. Have you watched it?
Yeah? I don't really. I don't retain movies. I consume okay.
Correct hereditary Yeah yeah, smile with our friend Kaylen Stacy Caitlyn. I watched that the other day in bed with my mum. Tell me why she's going. She's genially go oh, and she doesn't get scared. And I say, they got you, didn't you? And she's like, I'm scared. And then I start the fabric of time starts ripping apart, thinking that my mum was ever scared the exorsm of Emily Rose honestly leave Emily out of it. Hell House, LLC talk to me. Australian and the Descent. I agree we need
to add Blair Witch Project. The Strangers saw American Horror Story in some parts. The opening scene of American Horror Story, that theme song chills down my spine. I also think Black Mirror that spooky, as I guess not for the heart rate. Though my heart rate I'm developing.
Maya carditis.
To say I'm developing. This is a low mood after watching Black Mirror.
Are you know?
I cannot deal with that?
Anyway?
You can go find this list on the internet by suit watching scary movies twenty twelve top ten heart rate.
I don't know twenty twelve. Oh that was a bit. I understand you're with flexing frings.
Ok.
Also the babaduk horrible stuff.
Am I am I the asshole?
We have another moral issue to discuss with our friends here on the show. We all, well most of us, will find ourselves at a dinner with friends, a lunch, or another situation where there is a bill that involves all of us and there's often one person paying, or we're splitting right, and we're not all getting the carbonara at the past place in NEWTOWNA right, there's like some people with the garlic bread, others are gone with the
pizza moment, and the bill will see that. Accordingly, we have a listener who's written in with something that's grinding their gears. Let me read it out to the audience, dearest free MINDI and flex Mammy Annie. There's a situation that's been grinding my gears and I need h elp help. I work a pretty decent job, I would say a pretty average salary for someone my age, nothing too crazy. But amongst my friends there's a perception that I am
the rich one. I think this comes from working since I was in high school and always hustling and being a bit of a save in my whole life. I skip out on events and concerts or buying new things to save. I have always been frugal. It's getting frugal for me. A lot of my friends are just starting out in their careers and haven't climbed the latter as quickly as I have.
Shape for dick.
More recently, my close friends have been particularly bitter towards me when it comes to money. There's an expectation that I will front bills, digs at me to buy people's presents or shout people drinks. Often these friends won't pay me back for weeks at a time, but if they ever pay for a meal on the rare occasions, I have to pay them back immediately, down to the scent. For example, we've been out last week, my friend got
a glass of wine. I've got to be we're at the same meal, and when the bill came even though I drinks had a difference of two dollars fifty. She sent three to four minutes calculating the exact difference between now meals instead of just splitting it down the middle. I know money is such a hard topic, but at twenty eight is this did I write this? Don't worry guys for twenty four I didn't think I would still
be annoyed at my long term friends over money. I assumed at this stage in my life we would happily be shouting each other and be more generous to our finances, given I know they aren't struggling financially. I'm lost with this. You guys, please help. I have learnt how to be generous from people around me, but I will say the rules apply to different people. Ooh, I have friends with whoms we will split to the scent, I have other
friends with whoms. One dinner, three hundred dollars we paid by one person, knowing that it will be repaid either monetarily or by something else in the future.
Yeah.
I wonder if everyone has this. They must. Yeah, like there are some people. I've noticed it also with my own family.
Is the white people think.
I'm gagged, consider me gagged more.
Oh my god, No.
I think just collective cultures versus individualistic cultures. What we learn about money and sharing it, whether we're generous or tight with it, it's coming from our parents generally, and our parents or parents of or the generation that our parents exist in haven't been informed by anything else but their cultural context. Right, we have the Internet, and we have we are culturally mingling and being multicultural and sharing our context with the world with other people and then
merging them. But our parents don't necessarily have to do that. And like historically speaking on white cultures, more communal, more collective. But what were we saying about your parents or your family?
My parents pretty generous, but they're like communicating with other families. Some families are the same, and then we will all meet with the same energy.
So where the stingy gene come from? I'm a Victoria.
No, It's funny, Like I feel like seeing my parents be really generous has kind of rubbed me the other way where I'm thinking, I hate seeing them getting taken advantage of it won't happen to me. I must hoard my wealth, got it. But then the more people I meet that are generous, You're generous. The more I learned that it's okay and that we'll come back. Yeah, But then also I think you can go too far. Let's operating on just culture.
I always go too far.
So how does that feel?
I don't give with expectation, and I think that's the issue because like I just give to give, But then it creates a dynamic with a lot of people that there's an expectation of the giving, and then so I just feed into the expectation because I'm like, well, you know, I got it, and like some people, you know, I'm quite the rich friend, or like they don't have it or la la la la.
And it's like, well, hold on a second.
I'm not the reason why you work in the job that you work, or that you manage your money the way that you manage and I'm overcompensating with your relationship to money in mind, I'm like.
That just feels like too much. So as you get to the point where.
Like you're assuming this person won't have the money to go to dinner, but it's like why would they go to go to dinner if they don't have the money?
They're good.
I also understand the idea of splitting stuff to a sense, it makes sense. If I was going out to eat alone, I would pay for what I ate for, and now the tax of going out to eat with a friend, it's only that I'm paying for more or less. It actually doesn't make sense logically, like if we're going to critically think it down to the core of it. But also I think a lot of things about preserving relationships
don't make sense logically. And you kind of fall into habits as well, And like you said, you have some groups of friends where you're able to maintain different habits and they change with other people. And I think your point of the flexibility is the point like it shouldn't be this cut and dry thing of you should and
you shouldn't. But if you're having a feeling and it's grinding your gears, and then that's telling you that something needs to change with your dynamic in your friends, like you got to call it out because you.
Know what I think is the funniest, just like an irony, is that when people are tied asses and you and you meet them with the same energy, they think you're a tight ass. Like you started. This takes one to know one You started this, I hate and then when you chase them for money, I'm like, I feel like I'm tired us I'm chasing. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, I put my bloody credit card down. Not I payer it's far at all. Well, I shouldn't be doing extra
lay by chasing it. Yeah, okay. I hate the feeling of having the balance hanging in their frugal for me. What can I say?
No, it's a good trait.
In case you needed more confirmation that the world is in fact getting spooky, I've got something for you.
What do you think is the appropriate way to.
Respond to someone saying that they've been cheated on or that they're heartbroken?
Oh, condolences?
Yeah, anything else?
The person who is a dog? I stand with you. You got this, queen.
I want to play you a little bit of this video that I saw from a creator called Dom Beauclaire, and they're talking about their recent heartbreak. I just want to get a glimpse of what they're saying, and so I can let you know what somebody has responded to.
It's too much great.
So yesterday I found out that my partner of seven years is in a full relationship with someone new after a month of separation, and a separation was to me to figure out what I needed, because he cheated on me, and he was an alcoholic, and there was a lot of stuff that he did in the last few years of our relationship that lost a lot of trust from me.
So this person's painted a really beautiful but tragic picture of what they're currently going through. And I would imagine it takes a lot of bravery to come onto the Internet and express that to the world, because I think that, you know, part of you'd be anticipating some kind of blame in.
The process, like what did you do wrong?
But for the most part, I would say half the comments were very understanding of a situation, offering some kind of virtual support, virtual community, and then the top comment, oh no, and I quote unrelated, but I desperately want to shave the end of your eyebrows off.
Your whole face will lift up.
One more time. I a creator, am heartbroken. I've been cheer it on by my partner of seven years. I've come to the Internet for some I guess empathy, and you've said unrelated, but I desperately want to shave the end of your eyebrows off, it'll lift up your whole face.
What kind of demon?
Like?
These are the monsters that they were warning us about? How many years were we just like programmed with these fairy tales and monsters, good deeds and bad deeds.
You are the monster.
I think this is a public service. I think now that you're getting out there like you ought to know what everyone's thinking.
But it was just let me pretend that this is a fine and fair thing to say. Let's make it related. You know, why do we make it underlated?
Why don't we just.
Say, hey, babe, I went through a similar breakup and the one thing that really helped me out was just like, you know, working on my physical appearance. I'm not sure that's something you're you're keen on, but you know, shave the taibl.
You know what I'm saying.
That's ten times worse.
Ten times it's a little compliment sandwich. No, No, the unrelated is so brutal.
That video was.
Minutes long, minutes long, and I doubt she even bothered to watch the whole thing. She said before I swipe away from this. I have to get it off my chest. You all need group chats?
Do you need professional help? And group chats. You've been listening to the Flex and Frooms Daily podcast.
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