The Unbelievable Way Flex Got Vertigo

Flex and Frooms.

Yes, who's here, sweet angels, it's flex and Frooms, Flexina and from Yanni in your ears. In podcast form, which is one might say, our specialty to ramble long form for your listening pleasure.

A gift and a treat. It's a catch up podcast.

And believe it or not, in this catch up podcast, I do actually talk.

No, we definitely cut that out. It's not necessary, not needed. Nobody asks for it. It's dated.

Listen, Okay, so you trip me up, you trip me up.

And I get it.

Today's podcast is good because it's our very first. It's the penultimate. I believe it's the term don't quote me. And we're going to be talking about all kinds of stuff. Now, if you listen to the show on the radio, you'll know that it always comes back to one thing, Pooh and.

Bums and dating and dating money.

He told our selves that we were going to not talk about poin dating.

I think you said that. Okay, it's a setup. It's all a setup. It's a setup. I think the most important thing is that you get to decide when you listen. Agency is everything, autonomy is everything, and for you to choose to be here right now is literally so sexy on your ten.

Out of ten behavior, no one does it better than you. That's it, hype girl.

And so basically what you'll be hearing is the best of all the funniest, most insightful things we've said throughout the week you'll get in this cute little packaged episode that you can re listen to. Rints leather, what's the what's the form of scrub?

We need some scrub on the link.

We need to apply scrub leather rint repeat for you or for you? All right, so now we're talking. Okay, you have your quota. Five per cent of the episode is for you.

All right, let's get into it. I was on an escalator on the weekend.

Relatable. What do you prefer going up or down?

Going up? No way? Going down is terrifying, really quite going down.

I prefer going down to going up. Yeah, why, I just like the sensation better, really yeah, like a slide. And do you know what I don't like the Well, not that I don't like them, but I've moved to a new suburb with different kinds of escalators, the flat ones, not the step one travelator travelators, and those are not fun. Going up because you've got to really activate your core.

Really yeah, well I pose it on Instagram. Has anybody ever fallen down an escalator? Because every time I'm on an escalator.

I'm wigging out. I'm like, I'm gonna fall down. I have a fear. Yeah, fear. They're tricky. They're really tricky.

No no one teaches you. You just have to raw dog it straight away. When I was in primary school, very spoiled. But my mom didn't really spoil me. My dad did divorce parents vibe and so he would always give me phones and money. I had a phone really young, but I would always lose the phone because I had no concept of.

The value of it. I'll just leave it places whatever.

So I lost my phone and my mom said, Okay, I can get you a new one, but like this is it. I was like, yeah, okay, And I really wanted the three flip phone, you know the ones, the orange ones, all the cutest, all the Hottiesadam.

I wanted it.

Mom's like, okay, great, get to the Vota phone store, go in ask for the three phone. They didn't have it in stock. Not what I wanted to hear, not what I wanted to hear because I was seeing red. I got myself so worked up as I was going down the escalator, I got the car.

I was so worked up. I can't get it today. I won't have a phone, and I told everyone I was getting at your phone. I was dizzy. I couldn't stand straight. I was like trying to hold on the escalator. My mom thought I was acting out. I was like, I.

Can't see alas lost.

And that's what I knew.

You can really do some damage if you want to, just by thinking yourself sick. And to this day, she thought I was just taking the piss. I was like, I'm telling you, the whole room was spinning.

I was enraged.

One of the best slash worst experiences of my life involves a travelator.

What happened. My mum was faffing about downstairs at one of those like socks. Yeah, I love it.

She was taking her sweet ass time. I was over it. So I started like going up and down the.

Travel entertaining yourself. I'm turning it a visual six. Yeah busy, kim.

Anyway, I'm going up and down, I'm walking around. I decide I'm going to run down the travelator.

Yeah, for fun. So I start at the top and I start running, and of course is it a sprint like jog? It was a run run in the middle.

Of course, halfway down, I've gained serious speed. I can't stop. I'm Sprinting's so loud, like my little dump dumb dum, She's thumping down like this is like in slow motion. All of a sudden, everybody in the glen like stopped to look at this little girl running down the escalator. I hit the deck, hit the bottom, flat on my stock, and everybody clapped.

Oh that's sweet.

It was really that is the best and the worst. Did you sustain any injuries? Nah, just a bruised ego. Nice, But it was actually kind of iconic, like you know those moments where everything's slow mo and it's like, I'm gonna remember this for the rest of my life.

That was my elevator story.

We both have one. Yeah, what are the odds? This is like the Great the Great Equalizer twins twins. We are in luckflex We are in luck because it's not every day we talk to legends outside of ourselves.

It's not every day, but today is the day. It's a few day. We're with kay Lannie Hey, Hi, how are you.

How are you guys doing?

I love this gentle reception. I'm going to request to bring it up three four notches.

Okay, we're not just with Kai Lannie. We're with kay Lannie.

Thank you for having me. It means a lot.

Anytime you just put in the calendar your people, talk to my people, we will be there. But you know, back to what's important. Brand new album out today. Bluewater Road dropped in Tourist season five days after your birthday.

How does it feel?

It feels so good.

I'm just I've been sitting on it for so long, and there was we made the project so quickly and then we were just like, wait, we.

Can't jop it.

It so just that it's finally going to be out and it's not just us listening to it in the car is going to be great.

How did you know it was done?

I managed. It really just came out like throw up.

I don't know that's the horrible analogy, but it really just came out like it literally was like we made the album.

How long was it from the first song the inception to the release date.

It was last September, so it was last like middle of September.

I feel like that's quick. People are sitting on tracks for years, decades.

It wasn't last September. It was the September before.

Okay, there we go.

That sounds bad yea, yeah, yeah yeah, I'm like, I'm like, wait, that wasn't that long ago.

No, it was the September before that.

But tell us more about it. What are your favorite tracks? What's exciting you? What can you not wait for us to hear?

I mean, what I'm excited about is that it's my first album since coming out, and that's really cool because this is like the first fully self actualized, like love song filled album that I have put out. And I think that it speaks volumes when you're listening to it because the love songs are really healthy and beautiful and really you.

Know, vast.

Yeah.

I'm just excited that people get to hear the baby I've been sitting on for a long time.

So I love these descriptives. I know you've got the baby you've been sitting on.

Okay, I thought about that after I said it was.

Like baby, So we'll put that in print. Let's play a game. I feel like we've got time for that. What do you reckon, let's do it.

I love games.

Something that we do on Flex and Firms is called the six, the Cheeky six, the cheeky six, where we're gonna ask you six questions. It's quite rapid fire and you just tell us what is on the top of your mind.

Don't think too.

Hard to be honest. It's fresh, fun, fit, fab and flirty.

Okay.

What did you have for breakfast?

A panini?

Okay? True?

Anything inside a turkey panini and an iced coffee.

That's my breakfast.

Okay, yeah, that's a combination. Going to have that for lunch, all right.

Second, the most important one to me, I'll let you do that on it. Do you believe in aliens?

Yeah, I believe in aliens. I just don't think they look like what we think they look like periods.

I think like those fish that be all the way at the bottom of the ocean are aliens, Like the freaky ones that like change colors, like cuddlefish.

The deep sea fishermen. Whatever he's pulling out of the trenches.

Yeah, one that low uliens.

So what animal would you most identify with on the Earth?

Probably like a sloth. I think I'm like a really cozy person. I don't move slow though. It's the funny part. I think sloths are really misunderstood. I think they can probably do a lot of things. They're just really underestimated. And like, I think they move slow when people are watching, but I feel like slots probably get down when nobody's looking.

Would you rather be the first or last to know about a zombie apocalypse?

Oh? My god, the last period.

There's only one correct answer, and the last is it? What is a pet pave of yours? I want to get to know you.

I really hate when people are mean to waiters.

Oh yeah, it's not like those people woke up and was dying to be a waiter in the first place. You know, people are mean to waiters or like uber drivers. I will literally, if we're on a date, I will never talk to you again. I will get up and I will leave.

Have you ever done that? Have you ever a candidate because of that? Well?

I definitely stop talking to a girl because of that.

Yeah, she plussed uber driver out for and told them like, you need to learn how to speak English.

No evil from that's it. Something can overcome her, for sure. We'll got a hold space for her, all right. One more question.

What was your last Google search?

Oh, Indian food near me?

Did you find something good? What's your order?

I get chicken korma and China masala.

We know so much about you now what your order is? Do you believe in aliens? And of course the best album ever dropped tourist season period. Thank you so much for being with us. We really appreciate it. And come back whenever you want. We have so much time for you.

Australia on my list for tours, so I'll see you guys.

Yes, bye bye, kail Anie, cheers.

I am going to do something that you might find to be really uncomfortable and quite violating, but this feels like the perfect opportunity. A couple of hours ago, you and I shared a little trip to the bathroom together. We didn't do the same cubicle, but we were a cubicle apart. We both began to twinkle at the same time, and immediately I was confused as to why yours sounded like a v eight horsepower engine and mine like a delicate fountain. I was giving like variations of streams. I

Well, yes, I need to pee a lot of the time.

I drink a lot of water. And I will admit this morning stream was giving horse. Yeah, it was giving pregnant woman.

And I didn't mean to judge your stream, but I think I have read or overheard once before.

You're not meant to push that aggressively.

It's really bad for your what do you call that another diaphragmthra? I don't know if it's at either both ways one or two number one number two. You're not meant to push, it's meant to ease out.

I was pushing.

It was like, itch, Okay, I've had enough please stop. The nonsense comes from frooms. The beautiful thoughts and hot takes come from flex.

Yes.

Right now we are sitting down in the studio, no wings around, We are firmly put and yet I have aeroplane on the brain.

Yeah.

I think we can both agree that if you're sitting in the middle seat, on a technicality, both armrests should be yours to use freely. But I can understand why middle seat means no arm rests as well.

Strongly firmly disagree. So we've talked about horizontal etiquette on the plane, have we? Yeah, vertical, Now that's horizontal.

Oh but I thought you mean vertical is like sitting upwards. Well, yeah, that's what we're going to do next. Vertical.

So you're sitting upwards in a chair. What happens when you recline? This is a whole new ball game, and I don't know the etiquette around reclining. For example, you are on the Melbourne to Sydney. You're flying economy.

I know it very well, do you.

Yeah, and you decide you're going to recline. You've had a really big day to fly and fly out kind of situation. Are you reclining?

The rules are, and listen closely, please, There is no reclining on a domestic.

Flight, none at all.

If it's less sorry, let me caveat If it's a domestic flight less than three hours, you cannot recline. It's inappropriate. It's savage behavior. It honestly is. The reclining is for the comfort of a long haul flight, right you know you're doing your Sydney Taghana.

Not sure if you've done it before. I have plenty of time.

And when you're getting to your halfway stop in Dubai, it's been thirteen hours. You deserve a recline at about four or five hours in you do deserve that.

As for a.

Domestic a Sydney to Melbourne, a quick one one and a half hour, upright, upright. And what a lot of people don't utilize enough is the head rest.

Use the head rest, babe.

If you want to relax and you need a bit of next support, just use the head rest it what's that word I'm looking for? Crunch crunches inwards to support the neck. But you don't need to be reclining backwards. That being said, though, if I feel it on my spirit to recline and it's been thirty minutes.

I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm not uncomfortable.

I paid my money and I understand to be the person behind the recliner.

I get it. Also, coughing on a plane ill, it's fun, it's gross. Coughing in public. Stop it.

There's not a day that goes by when I don't discover another insecurity, not of my own, but just on the internet.

Do you have any insecurities?

Yeah, I've got heaps, but I don't disclose because if I see them and I tell everyone and they see them, well now they're real. Yes, So you just pretend you don't for optics and suffer in silence alone.

Do you tell your friends though, Well, it comes up. I won't hide it, but I'm not going to share it.

But yes, I go on the internet and people like, oh, you know, that's space between your top lip and the bottom of your nose, and like, what about it?

What do you mean?

People have insecurities about the distance between the bottom of their nose and the.

Top of their lip.

And I'm just like, okay, these are all things. Have your insecurities. I'm not gonna be the insecurity police. But I'm just like, Okay, there are a few key calls and then the rest.

We have to let them go.

But as I was scrolling on the clock app, I saw this video of a girl selfie mode front camera sitting in what appears to be a medical office of some sort. Not her account, I thought was weird, but she was talking about how for the longest time, she's felt really insecure about her voice, that it's too high pitched, and so she's gone to the surgeon's office. Too deepen it, I'll do some voice acting.

Okay, here's what she sounds like. Hey, everyone, for the longest time, I've.

Had an insecurity that my voice is too high and I think it makes me sound like a child. And so I'm sitting with Doctormlem.

To see what he can do for me.

She gets the surgery the next day, so he's done this. She had the Flax special. So I'm really happy with my voice at the moment, I feel like I sound like a mature woman. This is what I've ached for for the last fifteen years. I'm so happy. And the comments naturally were tearing her act. This is not one of those moments where you're like, oh, you know, like I don't like my back girls, and everyone's.

Like, yeah, it's saying. They were like, you're honest, as your voice was perfect. Can I be honest, I don't like your new voice. You sound like a man.

And then she's in the comments fighting for her life. You don't enter, you don't enter, you don't enter, just let it play. Yeah, So okay, do they like cut the vocal cords or something. It was like before and after she comes out to the tube, surgeon was like, can.

You make this noise? Ah?

And then in the before it's like ah, and in the after it was like oh.

And then he was like, you see, in forty eight hours, you too.

Could deepen your voice like this per And I need to nail home the point we all have insecurities. But I just feel like if we were sitting in a room on our own, in our lonesome, these insecurities would be I don't know, ninety percent lessened. What kind of interaction do we need to be having in society where some persons felt so traumatized by the pitch of their voice.

Now snipping chords.

And now she's finally happy with herself. I presume she would have Bier's remorse. You know, it was very quick. She was still in her surgical arms making the video, and now everybody's roasting her. Her new insecurity is going to be I was bullied by fifteen year olds on TikTok for doing something nice for myself.

Always fifteen year olds brutal, you see.

And the issue here is that people that are often going out and getting surgery have dys morphia.

Is that a stat it is? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, hectic? So poor cis Can you do your deepest voice?

Okay, let's what's the word alphabet ab A, ab CD, e f G.

My voice is already pretty deep. No, it's not that was hard? What are you already ABCD? I want to stop you right there. Okay, ABC, you should have led with that show and tell, just to show and tell. Don't ask me to join roasted.

One thing I learned about myself this week is I have very poor impulse control. I see things that make me uncomfortable, and I dig deep. I watch something that scares me, and I seek out more information. It's not good. It's not good. This one in particular, I was lured in.

What were they saying? Oh, like, so gross?

I wish I hadn't seen that. Oh I'm scarred forever. Why didn't I just click away? Blah blah blah blah. Something Okay, like has to be traumatizing in the best way or the worst way, But I couldn't yet discern.

I let it go.

Not enough information for me to start researching. What can I do with those two search terms? Okay, I'm just a casual googler.

Casual.

A couple videos later, another person reacting to this video they had seen, but they were doing more theatrics, crying, you know, acting out. Anyway, somebody said, go to Twitter and type in Dubai porta potty Instagram model, something to that nature.

Here is your disclaimer. Do not go and watch the video.

I've said what I needs to say, so, I pull up Twitter, I type in this information and I don't even know what I'm seeing. But the best way I can describe it to.

You is iPhone.

Maybe are on selfie mode in front of a person, A girl with her neck tipped back so mouth to the ceiling.

Okay.

I was like, okay, hey, this seems fine. I know what's happening here. Then about two seconds later, I see a person squat over her face and proceed to use her mouth.

Like a toilet. What does it mean? I need to know? I'm getting the shakes. I'm getting the shakes. What am I watching?

Here's the thing?

It was number two, but something wasn't correct. Is a low fiber diet? For sure? I'm a delicate girl. You know what that's like. Open your champagne bottle. This is what I can imagine.

You know, when you're squeezing a tomato sauce bottle, heines, think about the hinds packaging, not the other one, and you squeeze so hard that the lid pops off and everything goes everywhere.

That's what had happened.

And then at this point you would think turn away, flex, put it away, exit out. I didn't There's always been this rumor that Instagram models go to Dubai and get paid for their presence, and people assume this is what they're being paid there.

To do, but this is what they're really doing. Who knows.

The reason why I had to share is because you know, when you go through something so traumatic that you think that your life will never be the same. I didn't want to be on this island on my own, I really didn't.

I have to share. It is actually the most horrifying thing. Okay, here I go. Okay, so I'm seeing the asshole. You're not horrified. It looks like it looks like scrambled eggs.

Yep. Yeah, That's where I'm gonna leave it. So flex, As we learned earlier in the episode, you are an asshole. Yeah yeah, I like you now, I like you, admit it.

But it is time for our favorite segment. Am I the asshole? Yes? My favorite? My community gatherers.

My wife's Facebook comments have become a red flag, a huge red flag.

Okay, she's gonna have some more dumper. Okay.

Last week my phone screen broke, so I've been using a dumb phone and had to borrow her phone. When I wanted to check something because my other phone was getting fixed. I wanted to log into my Facebook account, and before switching, there was a post on her timeline from a women and marriage group about a member who was getting married and asking for advice on how to navigate the first few months of marriage. Most of the comments contained some normal advice don't go to bed piece, clean.

His shoes with a boot.

My wife's comment was totally different. She said that men after a marriage are like puppies, so it's important to discipline them from the start, and you have many problems in the future. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, and I thought she was making a weird joke. But I check her comment history on that group, and most of her responses are terrible, making carrot and stick analogies, saying that if you want to have a comfortable married life, you have to learn how to turn your man into

Oh, I'm sad, I'm rather very sad.

I'm not a very confrontational person, and I've always avoided bringing up the subject for the past two days because I don't know how to approach it.

It's been two days festering to the last two days. Okay, who's the asshole?

I'm going to say that your play around fire, get it burned. I feel like, in his instance, you checking the Facebook. It's a private group that you weren't invited to. Huge red flag. Now you're snooping and how do you know that your only husband?

You know. I think he's taking it really personally.

It could be back about anyone, but I will say she is the asshole only because only because he seems to be surprised that she's doing this, which means that there's a sense of manipulation happening where he thinks it's fine and dandy.

They have a super aligned.

Relationship and literally he's been pavlovd by her. She is the puppet master. He is the puppet that's gaining sentience. He is Truman and he's just figured out his life is the Truman Show. He has not had one thought or had one action that wasn't controlled by her in some capacity.

That's hectic, that tchic.

Can they both be the asshole? I think that'd be fair and fun.

Yeah, I think degrees of assholeness. I definitely think I think that Cheese the asshole to be honest.

No, wait, no, I don't. I think he's the asshole. Hereats asshole because I've been in.

Parts of Facebook groups where the stuff that I've said is absolutely appalling and foul.

Really, yeah, you're making posts.

I'm making posts in a closed group hectic. I won't name the name because it's like a little bit like the Illuminati.

Okay, cool, and.

The first rule of an Illuminati member don't disclose what you speak about exactly.

So I'll stop it there.

But yeah, I've definitely if you look through my comment history, the stuff that I send my friends on DMS.

Can I stop you there? Are you really saying? Do not judge me by the cook stuff I've said in Facebook groups? Because what is the reason.

What happens in the Facebook group stays in the Facebook group? You're a sicko.

They're both the asshole. Case closed. But if I'm going to stand by someone, I'm a ride with the girl.

All right, Well, I'll see you in the marritable bed. We're talking about getting older and mobility. Flex can't really like cross her, but.

I'm actually quite flexible. Every time I go do Pilate's like, wow, you're really flexible. I'm like, why he's priced.

We're getting older? That is no mystery. That's a fact for me. It's been ten years, are we though?

Because I don't want to get into chin and foil hat territory, but I will. If time is a construct, is what is aging a myth?

Well, I'm indifferent to aging.

Just the fact that we're getting older doesn't necessarily make me feel sad.

It's just a fact, okay.

And the fact is both ninety five babies, Cusp of gen Z, that.

Is a lie? What are you ninety four? Oh crap?

Well as the younger one, I am Cusp of gen Z. Here with a millennial, I like say I'm gen Z sometimes too.

Okay.

Anyway, it's been ten years since I graduated high school and so therefore next Friday I have my ten year reunion. I am going to the effort of flying to Melbourne for this reunion.

That's light flex.

I am going all in for this reunion. And when we were discussing this segment, you said that you didn't go to yours.

I did not go.

Why better question? Why do you want to do? Let's get that out of the way.

Well, something that keeps the bond of me and my high school girlfriends and boyfriends going is talking about people from high school.

Oh you're one of those. Yeah.

Yeah, we're looking at Facebook. We're corroborating evidence. There's a girl from my high school who comments on things that I post on Facebook, weird like cryptic comments.

Can we get an example? Like I uploaded one of you and me and she was like it was wrong to do that. Mew meow. Oh okay, she's deep in it. Yeah, something's wrong.

That's five G Yeah, and like really really cook stuff like that.

And I'm excited to go.

Because I'm like she might be there to catch up and get some intel. You can't just DM her no because I'm just going to get the same behavior.

I need a circuit breaker. How do you know she's going. I don't know.

She might not, but I think it's just nice to be able to get a stock take reminisce on old times. I know you're a very reflective person. Maybe I'm going to go to the reunion and someone's going to say, hey, you know what, you were an assholeugh, And I'll.

Sit with that like I was also seventeen.

I think though, No, I think once an asshole, always an asshole.

No way.

Really, Yeah, people get humbled. Life is a very busy experience.

The reunion is going to be my ultimate humbling. But you haven't answered the question why are you going? I don't know. Some want to do.

So, You're gonna get on a plane, pay money to go hang out with high school people.

I just think it's gonna be funny. I just want to see who's married. I want to gas myself up. I guess that's a question. If you're going to your ten year reunion, are you gassing yourself up? Or are you downplaying your achievements.

They see me, they know I'm not going to my I didn't go.

I had a five year one. I didn't go. I don't know if there's a ten year one. Look, in the nicest.

Way possible, I do not know those people.

I don't know.

I just think that, like high school people are already too over familiar. They're on the cloud chaser train. And I also don't like to talk about myself. I want to talk about things.

I'm here for the free kind of past.

High school unions are lame, so lame. Grow up life goes on. Well, I'm living on this earth. We haven't even explored the whole ocean. And you want to go back to high school. Put on your scuba diving gear and get down there.

Go get down there. You've been listening to the Flex and Rooms catch Up podcast. For more, tune in to Kata on DAB. We'll check it out right here on iHeartRadio