On Flex and Frooms, Flex and froomes. This is the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast.
Hey, sweety Pies, Goblins, gremlins, little freak sirens and objectively attractive, medium, ugly or just hot people. Welcome. We've got a series for you. Try something fresh and new, but I think you might like it. Actually, Yeah, we were thinking about how we want to wrap up some of these conversations that feel like they go nowhere on the internet.
Wrap it up.
Dating is one of them. Red flag, green flag, it's boring. Let's come through with a bit of a decisive actionence. What we did is we decided to think about the types of people to avoid or pursue on dating apps, and then created a pros and cons list for each type of person. We've got the friend, We've got, the funny guy. No, we've got the funny person, the freshly single, the formal, the long service lever like they're always on the apps, the on again, off again, the serial data.
If there's a type of data that exists, we dissected them.
Bloody oath, very exciting. Let's get to it. Your flex and fromes.
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Friends, foes, and our broader community and fans.
I would say, here is a guy to the types of people to avoid to pursue when dating the first category and the first of many funny people.
Are we avoiding full stop?
Well, let's get into it's with the cons. Let's start with the cons. A lot of virtual humor just does not translate like it used to. The year is not twenty ten, and we don't all follow the same meme formats. We don't. I think alsoink humor's gotten like a little bit better. And so what happens is if I'm interacting with your virtual humor and I'm not getting it, it's putting me off you as a whole person when it shouldn't. But here we are.
It's like whenever I post this particular person's tiktoks, it's like this guy pretending to be a cringe like Fodoro wearing guy that turns into a wolf. I'll lose like one hundred followers.
It is what it is. It's the price of fame. Okay, give you a con.
A con is they could be someone who just jokes about everything, so they struggle to like connect properly and then everything is a punchline. Yeah, dating a comedian, you.
Get into that banter whirlpool where it's like it's propelling you, you're getting momentum. It's sick, it's fun, and then you're drowning. Serious, Please save me with something that's not a bit and is like you know what they say about wetness or something dumb.
It's too much, okay, prose, Prose is laughing obviously, Yeah, there is nothing better in this light. Please then laughing with someone that you think is hot. There is really nothing better that moment.
Why does you sound like you have a gun to your head right now? There is really nothing better than laughing with someone.
You think it's hot.
Even yeah, I say a similar thing that it makes an otherwise awkward and maybe exhausting situation like a little bit lighter, which is chill, and you might make a friend, but we do want to avoid consolation prize friends. I've scooped a few of them up over the years, and you just can't get rid of them. You can't because then you look like a bad person. It's not right, it's not right. But that is comprehensive Guide number one. If you're gonna want to date a funny person, I say,
buyer beware, for sure, buy beware. Do you know what? I'm also mindful of that gag that like a lot of comedians like deeply depressed and so like they're masking all like that inner turn oil with gags, and then before you know, when you like find yourself attached and in love, you're like, oh my goodness, you're like a deeply troubled person and I can't deal with this. But if you leave them, it like fulfills their deepest abandonment wound.
It's like, Okay, this is a setup. This is a setup, and I don't want to be here.
I've watched enough Simpsons from Krusty and definitely, so I show Bob, are you a funny online data? I mean, am I a comedians? Sometimes you're not showing the ship, you're figuring it out between us.
We are in between.
We're definitely like in the times I've had dating apps, I always put the photo of crack Fop on it because it's a really good summation of me as a person. A little bit grotty, yeah, but also very refined. What about you?
You're with flexing.
Frooms, You're listening to Flex and Frooms on Kata.
Here is a guide to the people you need to either avoid or pursue on dating apps. It's comprehensive. We've already gone through the funny archetype. Now we're looking at the formal archetype.
Lilian, Hello, So I prose for dating people who are for including the fact that they are organized dates right, which I personally think is quite a difficult thing to come by. In twenty twenty three, there's been a malaise that has how do you say.
Like a blight on the world. It's the real epidemic or pandemic. What's a pro a pro to dating formal person I think it's that they understand there's a structure that needs to be followed and almost like a sequence of events that makes sense. So you know, you match, You get to know each other, you share information that matters vital stats, right, and then if the vibe is correct, you escalate. You add layer of intimacy, a layer of intensity. Should we go and meet, should we do a phone call?
Should we do a FaceTime? It might not have the pizazz and the passion of someone who's like it was, I youre so high, but you're like, Okay, it's moving at a pace that I can mightna be my favorite, but I can appreciate that, like it's going in a direction that's up.
Con oh, a con. It can be a bit formulaic. I think it can give you the impression that they do this a lot, which I don't want to leave Dolly in the dark.
But like just coming from inside the house, I know, are you here.
I'm looking for a verge. You just feel a bit like you're a little too good at this, like when someone's gonna moves a little too good. I'm feeling I'm feeling like a puppet.
It's a bit suspicious. You can't win, can you can't win? I would say a con is that sometimes you miss out on both assessing chemistry and compatibility. When someone is so like buy the book says the thing adds the full stop. There's no room for that kind of flow that's required to catch a vibe. And now you found yourself in almost like a role we're both playing. I'm interviewer, you're interviewee. I don't answer a question unless you ask a question. I don't add any emojis, I don't say
anything in jest. We're just like doing back and forth round two interview process. I'll tell my people to call your people tap vibe.
It's like when I know something's like going wrong, when I'm not acting to my personal beliefs. Is when you don't send emojis, when you're a big emoji sender, like if you ever text someone that doesn't use you're.
Like, am I a child? Am I immature? Or when you just don't like joke in the way that you would. You're like, they're not going to read this properly. Like if I was like, it's the loafer for me, they'd be like, do you own these loafers as well? And now I can't. I can't even bit myself. It's giving any more pros or cons. No, do you like formal datas? That's my time, So I'm.
Gonna need you to text me within twenty four hours and.
You get that with a formal data? You really do you of these like these yahoos who keep playing around with like let's just see how we go. No, No, I need intention of marriage within the first five to seven days.
Respectfully, flex and firmes flex and fromes cater never miss a beat. Welcome to our series the people to avoid or go near when dating.
So what's called pursue?
But like word to words, Yeah, this is about people who are freshly single.
Now we've already done formal people.
Formal people and people were funny. Yes, freshly single a pro. And I'm not speaking from experience because I don't talk about my dating life on air on cameras.
I'm single and loving it. I'm freshly fingle. Please can we do that, do not go back into archives.
A pro would be horny part of my French. They're horny, they're freshly single. They're ready to try new experiences if that means going out with the quirky girl quirky girls everywhere to win for.
Us, you identify as a quirky girl now because okay, saying for the other one quirky derogatory, I would say a pro, it's always nice getting a good one back on the market. You know, some of the good ones are out for two long, four or five year relationships. You know, bring some of the six for five kings back to the dating pool. I will say.
Another pro is they usually want something casual, which can really work for you if you're a busy, working woman again.
Not me. Let's do some cons.
Okay, the biggest con for me is the emotional labor, the toiling that must occur as they talk about their X, because as you know they're going to be.
It's gonna come up, it's going to punctuate a sentence.
You know.
There are so many ways to avoid mentioning an X, and these ones just they dodge every time they want on a trip with their ex, did a little euro trip instead of saying I went with a friend, Oh, me and my ex?
Why why shut up?
Because they put you in a weird category. We have to pretend to be like extra cool about this. Oh what's her name?
We're not getting to the age of this, but because we're talking, yeah, if we weren't twenty four, I feel like some people get into the age where the people they're dating have kids and they're.
Gonna be like, oh, what's their name?
It's really hitting different the fine out two cons. Another con are they're fatigued and they're also unavailable. If you're looking for something a little bit more serious.
Yeah, I would say there's like a broad emotional unavailability. But also just like you don't know the curriculum of dating anymore, Like you don't know how things work. So you're coming in with Norvis energy, but you don't know that because the way that we herald relationships is like
you're an expert. You know people, you know compatibility, you know union, and you come out and it's like a whole different playing field and you're using twenty and fifteen games in the twenty twenty three landscape and I have to teach you had it's not like, it's just confusing.
And then also I think another con is that a lot of the Freshly singles don't allow themselves the time to not be on the apps, and so it's like there is a small period of time where you're just auditioning for rebound and you might not think you are, but you are. You're just like keeping the seat warm so them and the X can work it out. We're just sweet, love you guys as a couple. She seems really nice.
Sorry, yeah, what's her handle?
She's in arees.
Don't go into diary.
I'll do it anyway. So you're into Freshly singles, Nah, you seem like it. Are you serious?
Once a rebound? Never got a rebound?
Look, I will say I'll do a freshly single if I'm like, it's a good one, because you know, good ones hard to come by. You can't let one go. You just might have to play the rebound game for a bit, you know what I mean, do your time if the prize is worth it, ETCETERA.
Interesting flex and FROMES. You're listening to Flex and Frooms.
What the frick? Welcome back to Flex and FROMES exclusive series. The people to avoid and the people to go near when dating online, go near people to.
I never So far we have done funny people, formal people, freshly single people.
And now the social media jumpers. It's a big title. It's the first one that we have done without an F in the name, which is very upsetting.
How would you define it?
They are people who go from the dating app straight to your socials.
Rush to find you in a different DM rabbit.
These are the same people that have at mikey three one four as their little thing like get to know me mikey three one four and then the rest of the answers on here You're just like a dot because I don't want to answer them.
The pro of.
People like this is that you get to SUSSI vive very quickly correct. What's one for you?
I would say you get to see the gaps in between someone's curation. We can argue that all social media is curated to a point, but the options you get to fill in on a dating app don't really do someone justice. I think they hide a lot of the bad things. So, like, I want to go in and be able to see if you, if you choose to share, be able to see like, Okay, what are your posts looking like? What are your highlights looking like? What is
your tone? What are the saning like? Do you have like one too many people in your DM fighting for your attention? These are the things that paint a far clear picture and also might be a bit unorthodox to say, but I want to see what your friends look like. I always find that sometimes you can't catch a vibe for someone. You see why or two friends like, yeah, I get what's happening here?
I get a big con and I have unfortunately see this play out irl in real time. Yeah, you never meet them. The dates go nowhere? What have I got? A random polluting my following list? As my time has gone on, the following list has gotten a bit messy. You're not gonna lie, I need to go through into a sweep.
We didn't know it mattered at one point, we didn't know all we know. I cannot coast time this person that I follow, yeah, because they become a demon ghost in your dms and it's like, why do you still go here? What is your intention to live in my dms? Eat up the resources to take up the spaces, clog it up with the heart eyes and the fire react.
It's annoying. The issue with jumping to the social media app is that it communicates a level intimacy that's not there because suddenly, like the barrier was like, we're on this app. You know these apps are for dot dot dot, but now you're just in my day to day. You've got it all, You've got access to everything, so now you feel really close. And again it's like you've got the dopamine here. It's like I've gotten to know her, like we've achieved I don't need to do anything else
about that. And I also feel like what happens and it's the worst con of them all. You end up with that consolation prize relationship where it's like, didn't really go anywhere, and now I'm kind of stuck having to like slowly nurture it because it's weird if I just drop off and block you, because that's just a bit forward. But then also it's like, why have we now found ourselves in this predictament when we're intertwined what we're you meshed. I don't want to be messed with you.
I personally condone the drop off and the block because if they say why, you just say because you didn't, you didn't pull through, yes, And unfortunately I have enough friends.
What I will say. While I don't love the social media jump, like I don't want that our conversation to move to a different platform, I do prefer somebody does. They're like their their preliminary stalk on me. Just do the stalk, Like, I just think you need to like get your information that you need because like when you ask what I do and I'm rattling off things, it's a bit confusing when you're like, oh where were you this week and I'm like in the sony box watching
Drake perform. It's not giving. So if you could see your own pulminary stork, gather your own ideas, and then see if you want to continue, because you're not about that life and I get it.
It's a lot. They got a lot to look through when you search flex mummy, so good luck with that. Kings and Queens, fru meno through me boo mummy, lex mom.
You're listening to Flex and rooms.
On Kata, we continue our series the types of people to avoid or pursue on dating apps. We've done the funny person.
We've done the serious formal person.
We've done the formal person. We've done the freshly single person. We've done the social media jumpers. And we've also and today we don't do the newbies.
Ooh, fresh meat if you will.
Fresh meat the people who have not had any experience on dating apps. We're jumping on for the very first time. What are some of the pros?
First pro is they're sprinkled in between the long service sleeve hotties. We all know them, who are the long service leaves buddies.
Just to make sure we're on the same one or.
Two people that every two years, when you jump out of a relationship and get back into the dating scene, their profiles seem to still be there. There will be one or two pictures of the difference. Of course, I've still got a hero image. The hero image is there?
Yeah, actually, so.
Yeah, that's a pro.
I would say a pro is that they don't have any context, which means they're not bringing in past dating app baggage. I think that's what a lot of us are struggling with. We can't inject fresh energy into a stale environment, and we are the problem. So thank you for bringing in some fresh energy just joined. I appreciate cons.
They don't have game.
Now.
I don't want someone to come in there be a little too smooth, but I don't want you to drop your guts just because you've never been on the dating app like I've never done before. Okay, scary, No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I feel like some people make the fact they've never been on a dating app a badge of honor.
Like a personality trait, and it's like, well, you're on now, so you want to happened?
How does a film?
I would say a con is that we can assume that the newbie is aligned with the freshly single, because generally people like I've never been on you know, like I've been I've been in a relationship since Cinder came out. I've been in it, you know, and it's okay cool. So all you know is like derivative stories and like your lived experienced.
Yeah.
I think sometimes with the newbies is that the dating appisolo game to them. They're like, oh, this is like funny, like, ah, what do you guys do here? And so you don't know if they are matching or swiping because they're actually interested, They're just trying to get the layer of the land. I don't want to be a little like trial and error. Situation needs someone a little bit more seasoned. I think I prefer someone ran.
Through flex and frooms on Kata.
Our series continues the types of people to pursue or avoid on dating apps. We've done the funny person, the friendly person, the freshly single person, the newbie. Now we're doing people who are chaotic.
Yes.
Shall I start with a pro please? No? I want to start with cons. I want to start with cons please, Okay. I would say I feel like people barely have time for their own friends, genuine issues and like the kind of chaos that happens with people you love. I don't think I have time for that with a stranger. If you come off the bat acting loopy. They need to put you on the BINM sang cons.
Going to their house and there's mess everywhere and.
I we've already jump off the app bin stinks.
Yeah, okay, because they're chaos. They're gonna ask you out on a Tuesday night, and you're gonna go, of course, because you think, of course I would just try something new.
They're asking you about at eleven forty three am on a Tuesday, being like, should be locking for three pm, and you say, yeah, of course I'll be there.
Sorry, I've just I've got an appointment. Thanks boss.
They pick you up, and then then they're actually doing uber at the same time, and they're kind of like, do you want to just jump in? I finished my shift in a couple of hours. Obsess obsessed, Okay, one more con for chaos. I just feel like chaos is
on the opposite end of the spectrum of consistency. Yes, there can be consistency through continued chaos, but I just feel like in those early stages, you're looking for that repetition, like I can trust that you'll say what you mean, you'll be there when you say you will, that you'll like make that connection, and I just feel like if I have to go back and forth table tennis, in my mind, it's gonna get old really quickly.
I totally feel that. I think as well, if you don't know them that well, the chaos can come across as indifference or like not keen at all, not keen at all, or super keen in a way that's freaking me out. Yeah, hot cold, Yes, a pro flex mammy.
A pro. You can almost guarantee that you won't get stuck in that monotonous like, hey, how's your weekend, Like, oh yeah, tired to Monday kind of chat. And I think at the bare minimum you deserve more than that totally.
For me stories, I think a lot of modern life is going on dates with lots of different people.
Just kidding what's going on.
It's fun to just have a few freaks in the mix literally, just the stories for other normal dates.
Yes, it's good for content predominantly. Yeah, Like for some comparison as well, I would say like in general, chaos is quite refreshing. I don't think we get that energy a lot in the day to day. I feel like for a lot of people where they're token chaos friends and we're not even that chaotic, actually quite traditional conservative women elied or did I so. I think at the very least, it's like it's nice to pick up your phone and be like, there's something fresh there for me. Someone.
I've never seen this before, We've never done this before. It's exciting. I feel like if we had to rank the types of data so far, ontic ranks quite high. Based on what we've said so far, I think it rates higher than formal for some people to give a second Okay, we'll rank later, we'll rank later, but for now, it's not it's not it's not a red flag.
Okay, so you haven't dated many people who are.
It's not a red flag. I think it could be quite fun. Me and my formal babe Lily And how are you hi? I'm really well, thank you? How a periods all across literally literally whatever.
You're listening to flex and frooms cater.
This is our comprehensive guide to the types of people to avoid or pursue when dating. It's someone who does their job and doesn't have to read off a list. You've done about six of them already. But I am who I am, You are.
Who you are? We are who we are.
Dumb, dumb, bumb, dumb, dumb, don't.
Drunk, No dumb, we're dancing like we're drunk. Drunk, No dumb.
No, it's dumb.
Damn, it's not the anthem I thought it was.
We're talking about people who are passive when it comes to dating. Yeah, my first pro on being passive. No, my first con of dating people who are passive in the dating landscape is that they wait for the ball to be in your court. As a woman, as a heterosexual identifying woman, this could be quite frustrating when someone is passive because we have been led to believe for many years now that the man must make the first move.
So what you're saying is bring back gender roles.
I said what I said in the realms of dating, like, come on, the ball needs to fall in someone's court. Otherwise you're at a salemate. Let's make the rules rules again.
Someone did say I'm not sure who. Maybe it was a bro podcast to be a philosopher or a bro podcast. I'm not sure. How you catch them is how you keep them. Maybe that sounds a bit brute, but I do think the habits you build in the initial stage set the tone for the rest of the relationship if no additional work is being done right, because some people are like the relationships are what they are, you need to work them, You just you just live them through.
So the conor dating someone passive is that you either fall into the shop of being their constant motivator, like having to give them permission to invite you, to pursue you, to ask you how you are, to whatever. And that can be really tiring because it's like this caricature relationship where you like, then do you love me? That's not really fun. And then also you don't do the tango, you don't do a dance. It's not this like reciprocal bounce.
It's you pulling the strings, you having the hard conversation, you asking them out, and then you get to the point where like are you just here because I dragged you here? Or do you want to be here? And they don't even know.
I love my partner?
Yeah. I think.
A pro is that once you get to be with them, you charge you stand is jumping You can't even in the initial not like when you fall in love. I'm talking initial, but what it doesn't we do need to think about the next steps when you have eventually you know, coupled, consciously coupled, when you.
Dragged them into commitment, when you've got them in a headlock, do you love me? Yeah?
It's then that you realize that you're ungastly because I think when someone's passive, you can feel like they're not interested. Then once you are together, you're like, oh, I'm not gas anymore because you would just always like this.
So the pro is, once you develop an anxious attachment style with this person, because they won't pursue you with intention, in about four to six months time, you'll then realize it's just how they are, and then you remain in your anxious state because they're just passive. Pro exactly, I would say another pro got a few to rattle off.
I think it's good practice to pursue someone with intention, and very specifically, you can't both be passive and so somebody has to develop a leadership role and no shade. But too many of you have been too comfortable being the metaphorical pillow princess of the dating dynamic, just waiting to receive, waiting to receive, it's a good exercise and being like all the snakes are kind of high, or it is kind of nerve wracking to us somebody out, or it's kind of nerve wracking to tell someone you
like them. But it's a good skill to have and use once in your lifetime.
And retire and retire. I gotta say every shot you don't take, you miss miss someone, throw your dignity away, ladies and gentlemen, and just go for what you Everyone don't make me stressed.
Is quite as stresful th Again.
This is a very stressless series.
Shaking flex and Frooms said the best. What a duo.
We're going to be discussing the pros and cons for people who have been doing long service leave on the apps. What does that mean? It's your hotties have been putting in five to seven years on the apps. You've seen them five years ago, you got into a relationship, jump back on the bandwagon long and behold, they're still there. They might have gone through a few rounds, but they haven't got to have the system and they're back.
Does it take a long service lever to know a long service leaver? Like the calls coming from inside the house currently I'm here or you were you?
It's almost giving like if we're both single at forty one more year. Okay, A pro about dating someone who's on long long service leaves on the app is that they know what they're doing, do.
They though, Like, let's really unpack that one for a second.
I mean, okay, a second pro you've got they would have amazing stories. They've gone on multiple dates. Okay, they've they've increased the age rains, have increased the location range like one.
Tourists, they've considered at all, and.
So I'm sure they'd have some tales from the top ending beyond. If we do a.
Ven diagram of the long service leavers and the passive datas, I think it's a circle. Wow, one more time, we do a ven diagram of the long service leavers and the passive datas, I think it's a circle. I think they often are the same types of people wanting to be picked, you know, waiting to reciprocate energy, as opposed to going out there swiping, matching, going on a few good dates, making a connection, et cetera. You might disagree proactive.
Yeah, yeah, it's hard, it's hard to do. Can't do cons don't make me say it, bookie.
Should I read out what FUMI is put on the sheet.
I didn't write yes you did you send it to me.
So what usually happens is that when we got this, when we decide we're going to talk about, we obviously have to give Brookie, our producer, a little one two one two so she can be prepared with us. I didn't write anything for this brand. I was going off the dome. But what we do have here is Frumy's evidence. So if you see right, if you zooming on the cons that actually says do you want to read that out for me?
Used goods and jaded, which I'll just say, when you work in radio tvto coming out for.
Me Andrew take community, I'm not. I didn't want to say it. I didn't want to say it. Look, when you work in this field at times the field are we're in right now together. Sometimes I've just said a loss, like we've done seven of these, I just needed to write something down.
I don't think it at all. I'm part of that community. It's actually quite triggering to do these baks if you look back at the old I've been holding back to yours. Okay, cry, I'm sorry, just.
Be hard for mes, reruly hard.
I feel like I just closed myself to be single, but sorry pre loved.
Yes, the secular economy, I love.
Worn once.
You never seen any cry.
This is heating a different.
Anymore pros.
You Trims flex and for continuing our series the types of people to avoid or pursue on dating apps. Now, I believe the pros and cons will go through live on the opposite end of the same spectrum, in the sense that like, what you think is a pro could be a con if you looked at it differently.
Scary.
So let's talk about serial datas. Let's start with a cons. Being an option in dating is an undeniable part of the journey of the process. Knowing that upfront that you're just an option is extremely challenging, so hard. It's nice to live in the fantasy that the person you're dating has like matched you and then unmatched. Every single person reports to anyone that comes up on the feed debt to them. Not the case.
It's very hard to conceive. A con is if you're an innocent girlie who's just been around the traps not very often you meet someone and you really like them, you know, it can be too hard to imagine that there's other options on the go, it's quite hard for the ego and so therefore you are forced to go and do some therapy, and that costs money.
So the pipeline I can't for data to traumatize therapy goer.
The con of consummating or conversationalizing with a serial data is you may very well need therapy before, during, and after.
Okay, the three parter I understand. I sometimes feel like the person with the most options has the most power, presumably, and that you might find yourself feeling like the future of the relationship is never in your hands, like you're just waiting for them to decide if they're gonna pick you, they're gonna pick someone else. You know, that's not a
good feeling and you probably can't escape that. And if they're an inem, they're an m they're gonna be open about their dating and the dating prospects, and like you can try and convince yourself that you're like emotionally resilient, you can handle that conversation. Babe, she seems that. But let's be real.
Pro Yes, a pro a pro of a serial data do it to us is that you know you're gonna know someone who dated them.
Reference check reference check. I love a reference check. I don't do them often, but I'll always give one. If you ask, I'll give you one.
You don't have to f around to find out. And the reference check like you have to take it with a grain salt.
Yeah, because you don't want to be getting them too early on too like fact, you've just been introduced, now you're doing references.
I've had some reference checks that have been like, yeah, he like goes to me on a date and I got to say, look, he said better you than me, babe. I said, that actually makes it a lot better. She is, Nah, that's horrible.
Did he pick you? Did he pick you?
It is also just good to realize that you might not be someone's type. It doesn't mean anything about you.
I disagree. Okay. Another pro I feel like sometimes when you date a seasoned data it can be a really seamless, often euphoric process. You're going through the motions in a way that they're choosing, but you at least you're getting somewhere. You're like, oh, you've done this. You're gonna do the date. You're gonna wine and dine, you're gonna love bomb, gonna spend an amazing night. Or three together. Then you're gonna be like, oh, I just.
Feel like a bizza.
And then I'm gonna be like, oh my god, it's fine totally, and then the cycle continues could be fun.
Is that a pro?
Yeah, because I think that just like what people struggle with in their dating experience is a lack of clarity and resolution. Things don't really start or end, so you just live in this ambiguous spot, which does more damage than you think. It's kind of nice to know like someone was into you then they're like, Noah, I'm done. The chat piece, it's like, yeah, maybe it's like I remember I used to date someone and didn't work out. But then he may be a playlist. It's so good?
Is it who I think it is? No?
You don't know? Okay you? Why are you?
No?
But he made a playlist. I'm like, there's a good playlist and like, granted, I'm sure you like duplicated it changed the name like cycled it around, but the track bops. Thank you for that experience. In Serial Nata piece to.
You, you're listening to Flex and Frooms.
On the Lastn't Have our series The types of people you should pursue or avoid on dating apps.
What a beautiful series.
It's been phenomenal.
Today's installment is people who are on and off.
Not to be confused with the serial data. This is the type of person who has this like really fickle relationship with apps. It's like they get on, they're on for three minutes, they're deleting. Ah, I can't do it. I can't do it. And they're back on next week and then they get a fi I can't do it, I can't do it. It's a very specific person. If you aren't them, you know them. If you are them, it hits a bit different.
Yeah, I'm a half hour girly before getting off going on hired.
Give it a con? What's a con?
A con is that there's no time to marinate and to really assess what's out there. I feel like you see one too many hotties or you see one too many people that you just think and you freak out.
Yeah, these types of people tell me one thing. They don't know how to work in a team. You got one foot in, one foot out. You're not putting in the energy you want to receive. You log in for forty five seconds, You're like, where are they? Where are they? Were there and then you jump off, giving yourself no time to see if something can you come to fruition and also creating this like toxic cycle where your behavior validates the issue. Interesting like if you don't stay on,
you always want to jump off. So just pick And also imagine if you had to date someone like you, like if you're a seal on an offer, It's like maybe the person that you're that you would be into is a serial on offer and you'll just never meet because you can't commit.
I mean that's a good way to think about it.
On offers emostally unavailable? Is that what that is?
I think they're anxious avoidant. I believe that would be the term. They want something but they're.
Too scared of like fearful avoidance.
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah. A pro is that if you find one of them, they haven't really been around the bush. They're freaking out been around the bush, I mean the right the right bush, and the wrong bush. They are probably like very excited to see if they match with you, and there's a vibe because you're going to change their life, like.
You're speaking through yourself, and they're probably just really excited to get to know you if you happen to see them in the first day teen seconds of being back on, I said what I said, I will say, you know you you did use the phrase you used goods in referring to what we call.
Long service young service leeve.
Yep, young long service sleeve. And I will say, there is something about knowing the person that you are interested in is like ready to dip off the app, so you're never having that issue when you're like, oh my god, are we exclusive and they're like, oh, I think it's going really well, and then your friend's like is this them we just matched?
Or you go back and they've changed their photos, had hurt.
Any other pros?
No, I think that's it.
Maybe I would say one more con while we're here. While we're here feels like a vicious cycle. Like every time you go on and off the app, you're not starting a neutral You're actually starting it like in a deficit. You're not coming with a fresh, clean slate, you know, shedding the baggage, ready to see what this place is now, you're bringing in that old energy. I mean like it's
just like last time. It's just like last time, and I just feel like it takes so much work to rewire the you think about stuff that you are doomed, and you also doom like your closest for people who are also dating, because you're like, yeah, I jump back on and jump of the because there's nothing there, nothing there. You start spreading rumors, you're ruining the vibe you are, so I got to jump on and off, but maybe don't publicize it every time.
I totally agree.
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