Tuto, Flex and Frooms, the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast Lex and Rooms.
It is flexing Frooms on CATA. Another day another dollar. Look, Froom and I combined have so many thoughts about the world, and yet we didn't feel like authorities to share those thoughts. That's changed. That has changed. Social media a place of contention to many ruthless and reckless banshees operating in a way that's not conducive to us having good time. So what we decided is to make a Social Media Act.
This is legal redacted. This is quintessential because decorum is no longer a thing of the present. It's a thing of the past. But we are ready to change that. Welcome to the Flex and Firms Social Media Act. This is Flex and Frooms on CATA. Welcome back to Flex and Frooms. Our first installment of a very important government based segment. It is Flex and Firms Social Media Act. Yeah, we really say, a.
New bill looking to be past late twenty twenty three, early twenty twenty four. We're working on it.
Forget Dutch. We're gonna learn legalies. Very important. Today's rules are rules from following. What is your first rule of the unfollowed flex mummy.
When it comes to one following someone, if in that moment your unfollowed will cause more harm to the person than is warranted, keep followed. I like that, And what I mean by that is some people just take it really really poorly, and it's just like to me, it's flippant. I could follow and unfollow anyone, the uber driver, you know, the person at the bar, that girl I met once, and I could unfollow you just as quick. It's all good.
But if you're a close friend with bad content, you gotta stay followed.
If you've slept with someone, okay, if you've laid pipe, If you've if you've laid pipe once and you're not going to see each other again, unfollow totally warranted.
And that is not about the race of like to follower. That's putting someone back in their place. You were invited into the inner sanctum segurtively literally, now you're part of gen pop gen pop general population. The prison system is my body ready? Yep?
Another one?
Okay. If you do the unfollow, follow as like a manipulative scare tactic to get someone to notice you seek help and uh, because I know you're out there. I know you're out there. I know you're out there.
Follow and follow, follow, follow. I think you need to be really mindful of what your following list looks like. Now I haven't done this before, but I know some people that when they first start dating someone, look through the whole follow list. Okay, have you ever done that? Has anyone done that? You've done much for you? Bob might look through all the follow I'm looking through all the women legend.
Why don't we Why don't we read between the lines? You? Why don't we? Why don't we pull out what's really being said here? There might be a little situation. You know, you've somehow managed to jump into the social media profile of the person that you're interested in. You know, maybe I don't post enfe so like you've gone through all the feed posts, You've gone through all the tagged posts, and what's left for you to do but go through
their following Okay, you start looking through. Maybe you see a few complex magazine, that's fine, you might see it Lost Hunting, Yeah, little Woolworths, Little lad Bible, little Fine. And then there are a few ones. Now you might start seeing a bunch of people who look just like you, and you might say I'm in good hands, or you might start seeing some like MRA men's rights activist content you say, oh, it could just be an accident. Could just be an accidentoke. You know what I will say
is I follow like almost four thousand people. I've been on Instagram for like ten years. I'm not cleaning that out. One time I tried, I downloaded an app that cleans out anyone who you haven't interacted with or they haven't interacted with you in the last I don't know two months or three months, and it unfollowed so many people that I knew in real life in a day to day that they were messaging me or messaging my friends and being like, what's flex this problem with me? Like?
Have I done something wrong? It was just too hard, so I guess everyone says anything else. Well.
You also never know when someone's gonna come back in your life. Eg. If you follow people from school or from your first job, you never know when they could come in handy keep.
People followed so you can use them to your advantage.
Keeter Flex and Frooms Flex and Firms.
Today, we're talking about the age old scenario. If you're taking photos of your friends. Do you need their consent to post it?
Go? This is a case by case scenario. If your friend has body image issues or I'm gonna take it there, Okay, okay it no, I will say before you post an image of your friend, Yeah, you need to assess are they someone that's gonna get their back up? Because there's nothing worse than posting some pictures as part of a long story and someone wants to delete it.
It's like, Babes, your particular still was image twenty five of a fifty two slide story. If I take out twenty five, the flow is not there, the story is not story. I understand what you're saying. I even commend you for that stretch. But what I hate about interacting with someone's issues from the perimeter is that you either like fall into the cycle when it's not helpful. Like do you think I look good? Do I look bad? Is that a good one? Can we take in a
different wa it's what you look like. I captured you as you are, so I don't want to I don't want to confuse us about what we're looking at. That is you? Okay? Another rule when the phone comes out, especially as a documentarian, you know the score. You know what's going on, So you have three seconds to opt out. You already know what's happening. When Flex in particular gets out the phone. I'm assuming informed consent based on our
previous history, and you know what it is. If you're like and you say it all the time, don't put that up.
Yeah no, put it up.
I'm like, okay, cool. If anything you like, put that up, tag me it's going up, and I understand. But like, you know what the score is when the phone comes out, I'm so sorry. I'm not doing embargoed pickies waiting for your approval for release. I'm not playing.
I will say, when you took a video of me trying to excavate the gunk from my belly button the other day and threatened to post it, that was really that's a wake up call.
It was a wake up call. And so that I say, be more mindful of the way that you show up in physical spaces, because there's always cameras watching in this room alone one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
Eight, nine, eight, ten, eleven, twelve, this twelve cameras.
And on the monitors too. It's not safe.
I will say, I personally am quite a liberal person when it comes to getting naked and being silly. I know you wouldn't see it because I don't post about it. However, the other day of my birthday, a friend posted a picture of our bare asses. Might I say the ass was looking small, but it was giving, was sitting. Yeah, it's that definitely a good photo. And yeah I thought this. You know people shouldn't geting this for free. Yeah, so that's.
When you started the only fans put a paywall up, got your bag.
I commend exactly so I say, if it's too suggestive of your friends, such as if their breasts are looking quite juice or the bottom is giving, then perhaps consider asking first.
I want to say that's common sense, just like not put it up. That one goes in the group chat and you say, great memories, save archive, enjoy. I will say, as a standard, if we can end on a high note, out or the silence I'm going to assume is a green light doesn't work in every context. Don't get it twisted, your sick goos, but opt out or you're opted in. There you go.
This is the social media act. It's a hammer ajourn agent. You're listening to flex and frooms on CADA.
Today we're discussing over indulgent birthday posts.
Personally, I armed an ard on my birthday this year. About a month ago, there was a few texts back and forth to numerous friends saying, is this photo of me princess a little too much to post? And you know what I was came back to bite me. Someone said, I can't stop looking at those ears?
Is this in reference to my large ears?
Apparently got large ears? Let me have a look. See you hesitated? Do I I have large ears?
Do you know what? Let's just do a quick comparison. I actually have quite petite ears. You see them from the front. You can definitely see yours.
Honey. If you whoa, it's a e. They just look like a little macaroni the smallest.
Say, I can't stop looking at those ears. I didn't think your is abnormal. Literally, I mean, don't do it like that. Please give yourself.
I mean they're not they're not the smallest ears.
When we see the photo. Yeah, yeah, I think the photo in question will help you know.
If you put a photo of yourself as a baby, it's you cute as you've ever looked.
This is is it weird of your friend to like bring you back down to earth.
My friend, it was random.
What this is worse?
Are you already? Are you ready? So?
I can't get enough of those.
That's just a regular she's giving me ear dysmorphia.
So this is a full blown stranger commenting about your eide didn't retrospective like dysmorphia, like you didn't. You weren't insecure about it then, but currently it's something you should bring up.
It's like when I posted a photo of me in primary school and someone said have a massive head, Like, don't make me get that photo up as well. The head is looking large, but I looks cute.
What kind of environment have you cultivated with? People are just saying these things to you?
I don't know, man, I don't like though.
Let me victim blaming the over indulgent birthday post definitely something that twas in my repertoire as an early twenty year old. I was that person who was like, it's my birthday month, it's all about me. Then life kind of humbles you and you realize it's a regular day for everyone else and nobody actually cares. And so it's currently not in my repertoire. I'll do like the classic, like you know, the single feed it's my birthday might reference on the story, but I have the belief that
if you don't celebrate yourself, who will. So if you feel it in your core, definitely do it.
I also say I never think h someone posts about their birthday like I always like it. I like to see people reflect. I like to remember that we are mortal on this earth and time is a chicken.
If you will, I will say I would much rather someone's self curate their over indulgent birthday posts and stories and have the expectation that all their friends will so they add to story I don't like personally, I'm not a big fan of I'm on your feed, it's your birthday, and every single story you've posted it is just a reh share, a reshare, a reshare. It's looking messy visually, not an enjoyable experience. It's a no for me.
Definitely was guilty of that. But it's hard because if you get a lot of if you get a lot of story mentions, the next year is a big bit to follow up.
Folks. It kind of reminds me of on Facebook, you know, like you get into the habit of like being like the value of my birthday is defined by how many posts on my wall. And then you graduate from Facebook and you say, all my value is defined by how many text messages I got saying happy birthday. I'm not responding to those anyway.
It's all good.
It's all good. It's a lot any other thoughts.
I've said all I need to say. But I do want to say. If you're the person said I had big.
Ears, Everyone's like, whoa, it's like casting a shadow.
Over us, like huge, laying my ears out of it?
Okay for somebody who's made a lot of statements about not wanting their body to be spoken about. People keep speaking about.
Your body about me? What about keep going I'm having it?
Isn't there.
I've had enough my ears. Can't you see? I want to live, but you want bitching? Oh you won't stop talking about my ears?
What about me?
Wrap it up?
King fru meno through me boommmy like smile. You're listening to Flex and Frooms on Kaita today.
We're talking about following friends. The question do you have to follow your friends? No? But I don't see why you wouldn't, right, a follow is such a baseless metric. It's a button. Chances are, the way Zuckerberg set it up, they're not gonna see their stuff anyway.
Facts.
So realistically, the only reason why you'd be funny about following a friend is if you're funny about keeping that light follower ratio, to which I say, you're weird, especially if you're concerned about the ratio and you don't get paid to be on the internet.
Extra layer of weird.
What's wrong with you?
It's insecurity and I totally understand. Explain it well, social media is life and oh sorry, yeah, I did hear that. Okay, my gut, my gut saying follow your friends, because.
What's the insecurity bit?
Like people don't want to people some people are funny about, like following more people than follow them.
Reason, what are the reasons?
King, bullying, ha past trauma, insecurity, class a class insecurity, status insecurity, keeping up with the Joneses? Just a plethora, a plethora of issues. I will say, if you don't like your friend's posts, continue to follow them, but mute them because keeping the peace is better than politics.
This is keeping the peace is better than politics.
Do you want to elaborate swiss on them, just like I know what people think, like I feel like I know what you're gonna say about Hell. I know you're gonna love that one. You're like, friendship is more important than likes. This savement's hard.
Listen, my mate, I want to listen to Look, I don't understand what you're saying. I'm gonna be gonna be real, but I will meet you as if I do, okay and say that you should follow your friends, because the whole impetus, the whole reason why social media exists is so you can have another avenue to connect with your community. So if you're not using it to follow your friends and to build connections, then like, what are you using
it for? See riddle me that flex And now let's go through the rules of what you need to do when you have a falling out with a friend. Ouch Number one, play falling.
Out with friends. Really nothing quite hits like that is what it is, first and foremost. It's a very obvious one.
Three two one Mute.
I know what you're thinking. I want to unfollow straight away, just to dig the knife in and twist it around. But let's be real. Friendships come in seasons and someone could be right around the corner, and you know what I don't want to do in summer, have to go back in and do the follow.
It's never worth it. I've been through maybe two or three friendship like not break ups with like year periods or actual romantic relationship breakups where you do the unfollow as a statement. It's very clear statement. Right. It's saying I'm cutting you out of my life virtually, emotionally, physically, spiritually. And what you tend to forget is that there's a
part of you. I would say somewhere here in the chest that's no. And you need to start making decisions for future you, because future you want to check back. I'm not saying hate squirrel. I'm not saying that, but I just feel like sometimes you close the gate on yourself and edsaly that gate slightly ajar for future entry.
Yeah, but not in a toxic way. Oh, obvi, OBV. I will say I believe everything. Actually no, I don't. I would likely believe everything. I'd like to believe that things can be mended. If both hearts are willing, you can get over anything. Don't know if I believe it, but let's put it out there. So what I would do if you're ready to re engage is start very small and go in knowing that they do not have to engage, So go in with no expectations. Start with the likes.
O you want to start repairing the relationship, Okay, you have to repair without your ego. You think you've got to repair from social first. That feels like insane behavior. If you had a friendship falling out, don't send me alike. I don't know.
I think sometimes you really need to wade into the waters very slowly. It's one approach. But if you're going to do that approach, go with out prejudice. Start with the likes. Start with a little watch on the story. I think the watch is a real hard one. I've gone off the watches on. You know, when it's in tricky times, in trying times.
I'm gonna have to disagree. And I hate to do this because we should be a united front. Kay to give me the hand. When you've first done the friendship breakdown, like when it's fresh enough that you're like, I can't even see this person on the internet. Please do not get into the trap of continuing to dole out likes. And comments like things are good to throw others off
the scent. I've had a few situations where I'm like, hmmm, I don't want to make it obvious that I'm not friends with this person anymore, so I'll keep on participating in and engaging in their content so people don't know. It doesn't work. There are real detectives on the internet, like they can see through the illusion of you faking a comment being like, hey baby, look amazing. Enough of that. Also, you confuse yourself because you're like, am I the fake
one in this situation? Because I'm the one with a problem and I'm trying to signal that I don't have a problem.
And for who Yeah, you're listening to flex and Frooms on kit We are talking about how to correctly slide into a DM. This is a very important art. It's a lifestyle and not everyone's cut out for it, but we are here to help you out and tell you how to do it correctly. I have my first rule, please, which is you started following someone there's a vibe, perhaps you slept together, or perhaps you've just met. Would never
be bused. We start following each other something that I think you shouldn't do is shift your stories to impress them in the hope that they will DM slide. We've all been.
So was that a content adjustment? A content adjustment on ale of three? No?
No, I start, I you know, I have a dalliance with an intellectual man?
No Socrates? What is an identity? Goose? You would I start starts asking me for books? How would you read? Just generally?
I just like Rea, share your philosophical things, but like wide out your name and zoom in a little bit.
Yeah, that's one of my anti rules. How does one avoid doing that?
Just say true to yourself, be like.
You're scaring everyone for me, don't say that.
But it's like, there have been times in my life where like I'm a real trick style on the Yeah, you're a goofy girl, and I'm out here being respectable. Try not to be too ugly.
Can we get a timeline of when you've done this?
Or twenty nineteen? I was a big about that life. Oh fee too many respectable people in the DMS, and I thought I'm twenty five. Sorry, I was twenty two, and I just had to maintain some poise which doesn't come naturally.
Okay, but you try anyway. Okay. The one thing I can say is that the rules of regular life still apply, and so zero to one hundred is a bold approach. It can be commended in theory, but I think in practice it can't be trusted. So when someone goes straight for the DM straight proposition, I think you've done this far too many times. I'm but a notch on one's bed post. You're little too smooth that there's I feel like I could be anyone. You're just trying it on
for size. So I think you need to first make the good first impression. However, you want to determine what that looks like for you, and then gradually build so there is room for the fire emoji. There is because it's the first step of an ever growing bond. Then hit them with a little react right, and then only when you have something of value to add, break that social wall, slide through and say something. Now. People fall into the trap of wanting to talk when they have
nothing to say. Don't do this to yourself. Don't do this to yourself. It's not worth it. If you have to wait until they upload a story before you can break that social barrier, then wait because saying hey, how's it going? Please one from you and most of all, save you from yourself.
My last suggestion, and this is for the more desperate among us. Do I condone this?
No?
But did I have anything else to add? Potentially? No? Also follow and unfolow bring it back. Let's bring back the follow and the unfollow.
Why not?
As we know an apocalypse could very well be nigh. Let's just crank it and then fall back on plausible deniability.
Rules of the dm slide. Listen, please, it is always charm over a direct proposition. I know what the men's rights activists and the feminine energy coaches want to tell you that I'm at that you should go into the DMS with purpose and say, hey, do you want to go out to dinner?
You can't.
You can't raw dog it, babes, you can't row dog it. You need to prime the area, make sure it's red day, and then go. And by what I mean by that is that, like you need to make sure that you come across as an appealing person first before you assume that your proposition is warranted and would come across as flattering. Sometimes it hurts my feelings when some of you come on too strong? What will give you the impression that
I would respond well to this? I don't even know you, and it's very odd when someone you have no context with at all is like, hey, I want to take you out. Okay, Bundy, I don't want to go out with you because I know how this works.
I said, public profiles only. Yeah, some clear shots and no sunnies.
Hopefully two mutual friends at a minimum. Please.
We are we doing background checks? Okay, well, we're doing multiple background checks, so we check it. If you're dating, we'll be hitting up old friends to say, hey, I just matched with this person online. Give us a four on one.
That's hot.
You're listening to Flex and Rooms on Kata.
Today we continue our series the Flex and Rooms Social Media Act Rules and Regulations for how to conduct yourself online by two online experts. Do we're talking about how do you actually support your friends online? A lot of talk. It's quite a contentious topic. I feel as though of all the things we've discussed, this one is really quite vague. But please begin.
How to support your friends online? Many a time have I been asked to reshare and repost. Never once has this landed quite well for me.
What is it the approach, the asking, the expectation that you would reshare something. What is it that's not landing.
All of it? Because do not think I have the wherewithal or perhaps the foresight to want to share things if I want to share them. I can't understand asking, But like, I think it's hard when you're someone who shares tastes for a living, Like I have a newsletter.
I'm a taste maker.
No, but like where I share did it make the cut? So when I like, I believe that I've worked really hard to be able to share an opinion. That is, like I put a lot of weight to things because I don't share that much stuff. I have a newsletter dedicated to sharing other people's tastes or profiling people.
Rewind it from doing Shrek impressions. I am a curator of taste and I put a lot of effort into what you go on here.
Lockdown is a different time. Okay, there's different parameters. Nah, I will say, like, I get the hustle of asking, but there's something so beautiful in being able to choose yourself and you know, like not respecting, but like understanding that it's not as simple as just sharing no place.
It's what's coming through. Okay, so can you give me an example of, like what stuff you've been asked to share? Just so like it's I've got some context? Is it the promo you don't like?
Like?
What is it? Someone says fund me, Like I don't.
I never shared a gofund me. Okay, you know what it is. I think some people treat like friends of friends treat you know, my Instagram or other people's Instagram as if it's like a friend sharing amongst friends, Like I'm sharing with strangers that don't know who you are, unless you're like my best friend. Like I'll promote my best friend's book because she's my best friend and it
looks good she does it to me, The books tisue. However, Like if you're a friend of a friend and you're doing like a clothes sale at a random market, Am I going to reshare it? Half my audience can't go half of them? Okay, I'm not even gonna go, Like and then you feel like there's this expectation, and then you feel bad. It's like you're a plumber and people
ask you to just come and check something out. It's the exact same thing like you need to not value You don't need to do anything but like valuing time and then creating something. But heget it if it's something that you know that I would love, Like if you're doing I don't know. Gets me rolled up obviously.
Yeah it's good you got that out there.
Do you get riled up?
Yeah? But I try not to take it personally because I understand those who do not do do not understand. We've said in philosophy a thousand times people think that they understand when they don't, and that's the fundamental issue. I think it's a fair question. I want to expand the reach of this thing, but emphasis is how do we support your friends? This is not like the reasons why I won't share, but how do we support your
friends virtually? It took me some time to think of it because I'm like, it depends and I feel like there is a love language when it comes to social media usage. It's not just the one and done. For example, virtual PDIA. I have a lot of friends who really appreciate when you love on them publicly, right when you're in their comments type multiple posts. You know what I'm saying. They look good, You reshare it to your story. It's really important to them. Right. You have people who like
obsessive meme curation. They want you to send them the good memes, and they send you memes and it's like this thing that you and you might just do it to humor them because you know it's their love language online.
Right.
I also think that some people really appreciate the active DM thread, like we're in. This is where we discuss, it's where we talk. I send you things, you send me things. We maintain our friendship in this way. Then there's people who like the unrelenting support. Every time they do something, it needs to be shared onto story, shared on to feed. My friend did this. Aren't they amazing? Look how amazing they are. I'm so excited you're out there, Gigla.
I love them so much. I think you just have to do it in the way that they want it, which is a hard pill to swallow. And I'm not talking acquaintances. I'm talking your close.
Friends, and it's you doing what you do for a living. Or is this if you had.
These are just my rules for social media. I think social media like however you use it, it's how you use it. People make money on some people don't, but I think generally we get up in arms when we don't understand why people take certain things so seriously. Like you're getting frustrated by someone's like why someone would ask you to share something? They're like, why wouldn't I ask you?
You're my friend and you have a platform, like this is a shortcut to my point, though, I feel like, Oh, and there's a lot friend who just doesn't care about social media and just prefers to you shop for them in real life where it matters to them. I think either way, if they're a good friend and if you really care about them, you just do what they request. Call it a day.
I say, be liberal with the likes when someone's posting something, because I think for some people, posting a selfie or a post is a very anxiety inducing thing. In these times. It's easy to post on story, it's hard to post on the feed when you're out of practice. So I think, be liberal with your likes, Be liberal with the comments. We know some friends out here are doing some spon con Okay, if you see some spon contents, maybe not
get enough love. Go in there and get in the comments. Okay, it's appreciated and it will come back to you tenfold. So I'll say, be vocal when it's a friend that has done something for you and also someone that you just really like.
If you see something, say something precisely. This is flex and frooms on Kita.
It is the social media act as created by flexing firms, and today we are talking about the rules around comments and.
Likes, the rules around.
My first rule is that you should only like things that you're happy with everyone seeing you like. As we know, feeds blend over. So you're on a dank Dare I say dank memes? It's giving older millennial a dank memes. I can't even say it. You're on a meme page, okay, and there is a particularly cooked meme, perhaps in the realms of mental illness, and you think that's a bit of me. Or sometimes I see ones that are about other mental illnesses that I don't relate to, and yet it's popping.
The sentenios, the scent I'm catching it.
Do I need to see a psychiatrist? This was one recently a good example by Stupid Bitch Energy, one of my favorite meme accounts. The meme was a tweet and I quote raw dogging the mental illness, no dating apps, just in the crib, mincing garlic fin as f slicing onions thinner than previously imagined, And in my head I just thought, how did somebody get footage of my apartment every Sunday making my voga pasta with minced garlic and very finely chopped onions so as not to feel them
in the pasta sauce. I thought, that's a bit of me, But did I like it?
No?
Instead, I sent it back onto the meme creator and said, the way this is me making pasta every week?
Why didn't you like it?
I don't want to be throwing the mental illness card around on the internet. Respectfully interesting teach their own.
I really believe that actually engaging on social media isn't the norm, and to have any expectations that somebody does is expecting too much. If Tier one is just having access to an account, then tier three and a half or even four of social media is liking and commenting. So if you want to participate, then I would say bear in mind that what you engage with dictates your algorithm. Too many of you are like, when is my algorithm? Sorry? Bad? Why is you're so good Because some of us treat
this stuff like the vocation. Babe, you don't even know how it takes me to curate the meme selection. I have you think this happened overnight?
He's toiling.
Do you think that, no, I have to work this also? Do you able to segment my feats and not? Everything is girl boss pilled?
That was simple. It's difficult.
It's very difficult. So comment or whatever you want, like whatever you want. I actually think that comments and likes might be the worst part of social media, but I think if we take them away, people will stop posting.
I agree we all need some dopamine hits. I judge people and what they like. Do you see what people like? Because I like you know, I'm looking. I just I'm looking. I'm looking on your doctor, Naomi's your other mean pages is stupid bitch energies, and I'm just looking at what people are liking. I think, Oh, you liked that. That's interesting. Mental note. I think you're funny for liking that. I think you get it.
Wait, what do you think the purpose of a like is? Though? Because I feel like you're reading into it a lot. But are you saying we should read into it more.
Yeah, read into everything a little bit more. Just send yourself mad. I also never comment. Yeah, I just say be discerning with your likes.
This sounds like the kind of person like I'm waiting for the next three years when you get canceled because someone found your Twitter, not the Froom's Twitter, the one that you'll fince to Twitter, and you're like, no, sound me like, be discerning. What are we hiding?
No, I just mean like, don't like. I don't know. I think that.
Feels so like stifling and matter to be having to curate what you do and do not like based on consumption, based on the chance that someone will see it and not get it.
Some people just don't get it. How are you seeing what people like?
I don't understand.
I just I just do. I don't know how, but I like. Essentially what I mean is I go and look at the likes just out of curiosity.
This is what we should be talking about. We won't.
Though you've been listening to the Flex in Frooms Daily podcast. For more, tune Indicator on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.