Cut flex and rooms, flex and frooms, catch up podcastle and rooms. It's flex and it's rooms.
We were just talking about how if we were toddlers, we would one hundred percent get in physical fights rules, but very easily again become comrades in the playground.
But I also think we'd have a bit of like a mummy daughter relationship alternating. So sometimes you'd like brush my hair and then I would give you a hair cut, and then you and be like, why why are you girls cutting hair?
But she asked me too.
She looks really pretty.
We're very tactile together. I would say, yeah, there's chemistry.
There is chemistry. Yeah, wish people could see that more often.
But I like that.
It's a little sacred thing we have between us.
Me too.
Actually, I don't want to share. I realized the other day. I don't want to share, you know. I was saying that I don't like hang out in groups. I'm going to catch up with a friend on the weekend, and she said, and we always do like a monthly catch up. And she's very good at that. It's not me who's good at that, but she'll put it in the calendar. And this time she said something That really caught me. God, she said, should we invite people? You know, the more
the merrier. I said, why in the hell would we do that? And then she quickly wrote, She's like, you're right, I don't want to share it either.
I was like, I don't.
What are you sucking about? Share? Why would I want to share? The food, the conversation, none of it, none of it. Remember one time we were doing we do these long lunches. We go to like Pop's Points somewhere boogie do a long lunch. We bring out the tarot. We're doing terra for each other. Some chit comes over and she's like, you guys to tar do you mind? No, we said, do you mind? And now she's looking at me. I'm looking at her, looking at the lady like you're
interrupting and you're scaring the hose. So then we obviously did the polite We did the polite thing and said, oh, well no, when we're done, we'll definitely reach out to you. She said, well, I have to leave here at five. You're joking?
Was it someone like saving it?
I think I feel like she worked there, but maybe she owned the place. She was walking with a bit of comfort. She was taking loud phone call, so maybe I don't know what it was, but she's like, I got to leave at five, so look, okay, well if we're ready, like you can come back. And then we just avoided eye contact.
Oh I mean ballsy, but yeah, here's a potty. You're listening to Flex and Rooms on kit every week I come to you with a love line. What is that you ask?
It is a scenario that's been either sent in from a listener or it's come from our producer Brooks. She trows the internet and finds one, or perhaps this comes straight from her brain or maybe mine. I'll leave that for you to decide. We'd like to have a bit of mystery here on the Flex and Froom show. Let me launch straight into the story, and then we're gonna have to give our two cents, which is always very exciting.
I begin I am twenty one and my boyfriend is twenty two. We are wanting to move in together. We're both moving up.
From our parents' houses for the first time, or what a time that was. We've even been buying house things like kitchen appliances each month for the new place and have gone to a few inspections a one bedroom apartment in the inner city is looking pretty good.
In a city.
Yeah, big city life, big bucks. It's like the Sims City expansion pack. It's kind of vibe I'm getting.
I came home last night from work to a message for my boyfriend saying that he has changed his mind about moving in with me and only wants to do it now if his best friend can move in with us too.
Ha ha ha.
That's when Allen of Coffins is.
We get a on really well and normally wouldn't have an issue with it, but he's been known to blow his paycheck at the casino and he's getting kicked out of his current rental. There have been a few times when he's messaged my boyfriend to borrow money.
Oh my god. I know gambling can be a serious problem and totally want to be supportive. When I brought up my worries with my boyfriend, he said he's been his best friend since primary school and is standing by him whether that includes me or not. WHOA, that is a big, big, bloody, bloody call.
I'm going to lead that to marinate. I'm not feeling good about it. Love, It's not the diagnosed the prognosis is not looking good. It's not looking up. I think if someone's been kicked out of a rental, that's the kind of stuff that I need to know. You're just coming into your rental. I see this happening. There's two terrible scenarios. Either AA he stops paying a rent or b he does something so catastrophic, so cataclysmic, that your rental history is forever tarnished by his behavior.
It's hard enough to get a rental generally these days. You're not a great candidate for being twenty one or even twenty. And yeah, I just feel like it's such a terrible feeling to get your hopes up about something you've idealized it. You know, it's you and me, and we're moving in together with our beige Kmart toaster and our mint green Kmart kettle. But it's not happening anymore. I'm so sorry. This is the beginning of the end, not the end of your relationship, with the end of
the dream. It's just not right.
I think you should just debt it dead, the whole relationship.
No, not the relationship, just dead, the fantasy of moving in together, because realistically, I don't want to take a boyfriend doesn't want to move in with you, But if he's given you the ultimatum without a discussion of Hey, so my best friends in this situation, I really want to help him out. I don't want to leave him, you know, down to the dumps. What do you think we can do? Can we organize something, can you sleep
on the couch for a little bit, whatever, whatever? Whatever? No, it turned into him and I am moving in together and you got to deal with it. So I don't think there's I would assume there's time to negotiate, but it doesn't feel like you're he's in a negotiating mood. I would say, plan for a reality that doesn't involve living with your boyfriend's bum best friend.
Obviously pending financial situations in.
A city during the cause of living crisis. Maybe you got it like that, true? True.
I will say I believe in holding off on the moving and with the partner real quick, because you can't go back from that.
I yeah, I didn't want to bring that up. I didn't. Sorry, but I'm also a different camp. I don't live with anyone period. I just it's not great. But also I think you could, you'd be better off living with some like minded friends before you live with a partner at twenty one.
Totally how fun you you know, I just love when I first moved in in my first share house, we'd be doing dinner parties. I was learning how to cool, I was hanging out. It's like you're in a never any sleepover if you find the right people. So you should just hate.
Saying you should just enjoy it.
But you know you wanted to say it.
But I said, it's going to be great.
Girl.
Even if you guys do end.
Up moving in with the best friend, it can all end in flames, and you can start off your new life as a bachelorette in a fantastic sharehouse.
Let hivemn the best friend move over. You can come like the third housemate who's not on the least agreement raw living there permanently. Just dip into about that's a great.
Idea, Kate, Flex and Frooms.
You're listening to Flex and Frooms.
What the frick?
We have big thoughts and some big vibes as well. And I was on TikTok or rather I should say I'll come and say I produce.
It was on TikTok. Shold me to talk about this thing.
It is called the blonde hair Conspiracy. It's by a user by the name of kate Leannie.
I went down this whole rabbit hole on the Internet where I saw a video of a girl saying that the worst insult you could tell a white girl is calling her a bottle blonde.
And I was like, why does that matter? You know, like, I've done my.
Hair a whole bajillion different colors. I don't care if you call me out on it. Obviously my hair naturally is not this color. But then I was like, maybe there's like a higher archue between blonde people, and like a girl on TikTok another girl was talking about that too, where like the lighter your blonde is like the cooler you are or whatever, like naturally, So then girls would like try to look naturally blonde and like claim their
naturally blondes. So then I went on this rabbit hole and I was just looking at all these girls hair and like, again, I had white classmates when I was younger, and They're like, hair is naturally this like platinum, platinum blonde. But then like I found out, apparently that as you get older, your hair fades and it becomes a darker tone, like very rarely do you maintain the same platinum blonde
level you would have as a child. So then when I was looking at the hair of these people, I noticed that, like all of them, even though I was looking at this like platinum blonde color just so pretty, they all had.
Really really really dark roots.
And I don't know, maybe all of your stylists are really good.
I only just learned there's.
Something called a root melt, which I apparently like unintentionally asked for from my stylists because I just wanted the blonde to blend really naturally into my natural hair color, so I just didn't have to go get touch ups that often because I'm lazy. But apparently it's like a really common thing among people with blonde hair. So then I was like, wait, how many people naturally are like
blonde blonde? And how many people are blonde but it's actually just dyed and the natural hair color is a shade of brown because I feel like, actually, I feel like a lot a lot of blonde people are actually not genuinely blonde.
Wow.
So that right there is the blonde conspiracy theory, the conspiracy theory that they actually that there actually aren't that many blonde people in the world, and that a lot of the blondes are bond on the blondspiracy.
Are you talking?
That's what she said. That's what she said. Conspiracy theory. Well, let's just call it the theory.
But I guess it is a conspiracy, you know, like there's a lot of blondes out there in inverted commas, a lot.
Of liars, a lot of fliers.
And I must say I do have personal experience in this realm as a reformed fake blonde.
I was blond for fifteen years.
I convinced not only a fake blonde, but a fake Swede. I never caught myself a sweet I don't know how I got into my head. Maybe I just there was too many context clues, and I said, I think I think this girl's Swedish.
I just have too much Ikea furniture. No, I will say, I now have brown hair. However, in a lot of say for example, the cat marketing campaigns, I am blonde. I have a lot of thoughts about the bottle blonde hierarchy. It's a real thing that I've seen in my shape spoken. I'm freaking out the blonde hierarchy is real. Okay, I grew up as a brown hair bitch, brown hair since birth.
Oh no, but there was a time in high school you were blonde, right, Oh yeah, you started your journey when so.
My natural hair color has always been brown. I wasn't like a blonde baby. I came out of the womb with no hair. I probably didn't get hair until I was about two to three years old.
Late bloom, wispy. Don't worry.
I was hitting the different males stones, I was walking, I was talking. I was like doing poos as a joke on purpose. Oh funny, Yeah, big tricks, the big jokes. Will in the sound booth is thinking, yeah, that's that's a bit of her. I see the vision. I see the vision, and then yeah, I definitely always wanted to be blonde. I had a best friend in primary school
who actually listens to the show. Her name is Stephanie, and Stephanie was super tan and had blonde hair, was really cool, like had a cool family anyway, So he was like obsessed with her, and she was my best friend. And yeah, so I always thought people with blonde hair are hotter. I had this hierarchy, and I think it's definitely obviously to do with the media.
Okay.
I wanted to be a newsreader and my favorite news reader, Sandra Sully, had blonde.
Hair, Shelly Kraft.
All your typical Australian presenders were blonde, and so it's surprising to me like now that I've got brown hair. It took me a long time for me to be able to accept the idea may being brown head, because in my mind, being blonde was being exceptional because it's rare. However, like hearing this TikTok, obviously it's so tied up with Eurocentric beauty standards and the high ruh.
Just hearing this TikTok.
No, of course I knew beforehand, She's.
She said, of course I knew beforehand.
I'm learning.
I'm learning to love click three.
No.
But it's funny to me that people wouldn't like grasp that that, like, people with dark roots aren't blonde. I even had a conversation earlier with people here at cater and they're like, WHOA, your hair gets darker every single time I see you. I said, it's not just that, though, not from your experience. A lot of blonde people lie, A lot of blonde people are in denial about how blonde they actually are, in contrast to what we've imagined
blonde to be. I've seen and overheard so many conversations.
Of people who were clearly visibly maybe you're a very dark, dark blonde, but it's reading brown and most lighting. I'm not talking jet black, I'm talking a soft mousie. I'm talking a caramel. All of these things read brown to the average person who's not wrapped up in blonde politics. In the same way that a non black person doesn't really understand when I'm wearing a wig or when I'm not wearing a wig, or my braids are real when they're not real. It's exactly that. But I say it's
a wig, it's not real blonde. On the other hand, even if it's fake, I'm a blonde. I'm a blonde. I'm a blonde. I'm a blonde. I'm a blonde. You say it so often that you truly believe it, and when those roots start coming in, it's not cooking for you. Just say it's time for it's time for my appointment. I got to touch up my blonde.
They say, oh, I haven't had I haven't had highlights in like twelve months. Yeah, okay.
I must say, though, I think mousie Brown needs to have a rebrand because the term mousy brown is not attractive at all.
I know like that.
I know people who are mousie brown and like, oh, my hair's mousey. It's the worst thing ever say.
I think it's cute. It's a humble color and it looks cute.
Okay, it's a humble, modest it's a modest colour forgettable.
Anyway.
I must say, if you're a bottle blonde like I was for fifteen years, once you feel up to it, I think graduating back to your natural color is a humbling experience and one that you know once you hit the ceiling and you can do that, it really means you've done a lot of personal growth.
Would you have done if your hair wasn't breaking?
Probably not.
Yeah, my hair broke off. This is interesting. So it's just coming from the angle of self. Laugh and when you two reach this at the point.
Of okay, I was forced. I had it in my hand, you dressing it, flex and rooms on.
Kait. I do like hearing any anecdotes. I'm a quote girly, you know what I mean, just because you know, there's so much chit chat coming from me, coming from rooms, coming from the world, but not all of it. It's good. So when someone yourself, when someone it's an observation. So when someone has lived enough and done enough great things so they can distill that into a nugget or three, I'm always ready to tune in. This is from j Cole mister Platinum, no features himself.
I think there's two key ingredients, maybe three, but one is see yourself as high as you possibly can see yourself. Right, So someone wants to be in the NBA, like they want to be an NBA but to me, that's not enough. There's a wide range of NBA players, Right, There's an NBA player that never saw the floor. You know, he sat at the end of the bench his whole career and they never re upped this contract and then he had to go fight in the G League and boom boom he was in the NBA. Lebron James is in
the NBA. Who do you see yourself as? And there's no right or wrong answer. Clarify and define your vision for yourself in the highest possible way that you could see it and see yourself as high as you possible can, right, That's your first job is to see it as high as you can see it, be delusional either to the point where to where your mind the rate at the apex of which your mind believes as possible, maybe pushed
past that even a little bit, and define it. And then number two is like believe it, you know what I mean, Like like see it all the time and believe it and whatever you got to do to protect that belief. My version of protecting that belief was I wasn't sharing this or you know, I wasn't telling my mom. She knew I rap, she knew I did music, and to her somebody, I'm not even gonna give my own mother the chance to try to bring me back down to reality. It's not gonna happen, you know what I mean,
Like not gonna happen. So number one, dream is high as you possibly can see yourself, not even dream, see yourself as high as you possibly can. Define that. Don't just say I want to do such and such, because if you mess around and get such and such, you're gonna be mad that you didn't think about higher. There's a lot of people that do that they're like, man, why didn't I think about being this instead of just this? Because at the time you thought just this was it.
But due to do the thought work and see where you really want to be too, believe that it's possible, and protect that belief. And then three is work towards it. Don't You have to do the work and because you love it. It's not always gonna feel like work. But sometimes it is.
Nothing like that boom.
You love that sound, but I hate it every time. I used to try and crop it off videos, but then it has the person's I just I.
Love it, boom troom.
It's just even if it's like especially when it's not a funny video, it makes it ten min times funny.
That advice was really good because it's true. It's all there. I don't think everyone will resonate to that, because thinking and dreaming about being your best self and then a little bit higher people are trying to eat babe. But I think it's a nice way to learn how to back yourself in practice and in a way that's just for you, not for the imaginary observer. I guess.
So I will say this parent settling like the idea that you I think like if you're the kind of person it's like, oh I did this, Like I settled for being the NBA player rather than being Lebron James. Like sometimes maybe you're never going to be happy. Maybe if you're a Lebron James, you issue with someone else. So just like I think, also it's good to be mindful of like, yes, I can imagine myself being someone
who wins an oscar, but at what costs? Like, I think it's also important, Like it's totally good to have a lofty dream, and I like the idea of not telling anyone but writing it down.
So it's for yourself.
But also there's like real power in having those dreams and then refocusing them when they stop working for you, because I think sometimes you can just hold onto these dreams because you've, like because you've like pictured them for so long that not achieving them feels like some sort of failure. But it's also nice to rewire every.
Now and again.
So I would supplement that by doing a by yearly check in. If we are going along the route of actually forging ahead, do you buy buy yearly check in?
And then I'm I'm pledging with this JOKEL.
Or be mediocre.
This is flex and frooms.
I have a confession you make. I want to learn how to play Dungeons and jang Gains Dungeons and Dragons. There's just something about it, well, not just the game in particular, but the older I get, the more I realize that not only do we need hobbies that are good for our mind, hobbies that are good for our bodies, hobbies that are good for our social lives. Like most you know, mid to late twenty year olds, your social life kind of orients around the same couple of things.
You go to bars, maybe picnics, you do dinner parties. Call it's kind of like consumption based. But I thought, what kind of hobbies do I have that are social that also tick that box of being entertaining and kind of educational but also transformative. Okay, do you know when you do something new with a friend, Let's say you take a pottery class, like you're really good at that, Like that's cool, You go back and forth. That's what I think Dungeons and Dragons might do for my life.
Because for those of you who don't really get it, it's a like a lie have role playing games, so you're basically doing improv live with all of your friends based on a character that you've created and a character that they've created, a character that they've created. Right, So you know, a couple of weeks ago we spoke about not a couple of weeks ago, maybe last year at this point, we spoke about that alignment test. Are you chaotic? Neutral?
Chaotic good that comes from dungeons and dragons? So you do you little test, and you're to sign that characteristic to your character. So you sorry, you to sign that alignment to your character. So when you're improving the decisions your character is making, it's with that alignment in mind.
You get parameters right, right, And.
Then you have this I think it's called a game master, who is essentially helping the story move along. So while our improve and say and then I threw a bottle behind rooms's head to scare her, game master might say, what is that? The lights have gone off? Cater is flooding as we speak. There is two enemy elf links come.
Up the lifts.
What are we gonna do?
It's two TikTok girls in the ears?
Ma, what are we gonna do? What are we gonna do? I feel like it'd be like gossiping, but with the extra layer of fantasy. I just feel like it would be so fun.
I haven't seen you this animated in weeks.
You know it is what it is. I'm enthusiastic about fighting things that make me feel enthusiastic and then sharing them because I have a lot of things that I like doing alone, because I think it's quite commonplace to shit on people's things, like yuck people's yums. So if I share a thing with you when you don't get it, then you'd be like that's silly or that's really dumb, and that becomes quite boring because people always yucking my um.
And I'm like, okay, well, I don't want to play with you anyway, but I do want to play with people because it's fun to share fun things. So don't leave expressions of interest in the comments. I don't want to play with strangers.
In fact, close the conversation purely like and share and subscribe.
But I am looking for again master who is going to curate these games, So I don't know. I'm hoping someone in my friendship network exists and it's like, Okay, we're going to play this game, but we're gonna do it because I'm.
Gonna be an elflin. Yeah, I was on an excuse to wear those years.
You got a little do the reveal, show us, show us there it is?
What species is she.
In? Scenes? Savage? That's fair blame Becky for the edit, but I think it'd be really enjoyable. But part of me thinks that the experience of playing Dungeons and Dragons is going to feel a lot like karaoke. To me, my issue with karaoke is whenever I've been, and it's not often, there are two types of people, those who take it too seriously and those who don't take it
seriously enough. So the ones who don't take it seriously enough are getting on the phone, getting on the phone, getting on the mic, and they're not really singing in time or singing off bat or getting the lyrics wrong, or trying to make it a comedy show, and it's like you're taking up space and you're being really loud and once it take it too seriously? Are you? Christina Aguilera, MA, I'm freaking if you can really sing past the mic? Past the mic. We didn't come here for an imprompt
you intimate performance, so similar to dungeons and dragons. I don't want real actors fall back fall back, but I don't want someone who's taking the piers and not listening and not furthering the story along. So I don't get it.
I think you need to get in with an already made group.
I don't want to be the newbie.
Yeah, it'd be nice for you, a little humbling experience.
I don't need to be humbled, need to be platformed and elevated and validated.
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