Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex and Frooms catch Up podcast.
Overheard at dinner. One thing about Flexiana. I'm gonna be evesdropping on the table next to me at dinner in the same way. I'm for sure aware that they're eavesdropping on me because I speak like I'm at home at all times dropping names. I'm not doxing to the extent that Freumiana might, but I never do. But on the Flex and Froom show, you know how we are.
Listen. I was at dinner the other.
Week now, and you know that lull when you first you're a group of eight, you sit down at the table. We're figuring out are we talking, are we ordering?
What survive? Are we splitting? Are we sharing? I often zone out of those things. I don't I'll just do what the group is doing. I'm not stressed.
But I was eavesdropping on a conversation at the table next to me, and it was these two friends double checking whether or not another friend had been invited to the dinner, and so the conversation had gone. Personally was like, oh, so and so said she's on her way. So a person B was like, is she really coming? This whole week, she's been complaining about having no money. That's why shouldn't chipen on so and so's present. That's why we didn't go do this, and this and this. Surely she's not
coming to this nondescript, unnecessary dinner. We're going to pay fifty sixty seventy bucks each. So they're going back and forth, back and forth, And basically person A was of the belief of, if she's coming, then she can, let's not.
Pocket watch her.
Yeah, if she said she didn't have money, we don't know how she allocates her money. We don't know what was a priority to her and what wasn't a priority. Maybe she uses it as a common excuse and she's lying. The person B was like, no, because it actually does inform the kind of friendship we're able to have with her. And it is quite limiting to have to be so considerate in some areas and then just turn off the
consideration randomly. You know that feeling of when you are speaking about a friend and you wonder, at what point does this get to be mean girl gossip? And at what point is it just reiterating what is known and what is factual. Yeah, I don't think I've been around that type of person in a little bit because I've curated my circle in a very particular way. But I will say it is frustrating. I've had certain instances where people, specific individuals, have asked you to be really mindful of
a certain characteristic. Maybe it's a like people who are sometimes like close intolerance, Like yeah, we can't go there, but then every other day you're eating like ice cream and cheese, which is it?
You know what I'm saying?
Or pocket watching this friend is like wait, you know I can't do that. You know I can't be here, but now you're spending so which is it. I am a big fan of communicating. I like to do a big chat, but also what I love about friendships is that flows that you get into.
It's not everything's a conversation.
It's assumed because I've known you for long enough, I get you, So why are you switching it up for fun?
I will say this is why I don't talk about money unless it's with my girl Flexi and we're discussing a job and how much we got paid, period, because I know from my own experience someone tells me how much they get paid I then just automatically judge how they send their money, like group presents or like you not buying around the drinks, and like I make judgments even though I know that people have expenses, and I
just don't want someone to do that to me. That's why I just like, don't tell anyone anything about money.
Yeah, it's tricky because again, people feel like they're in full control of their thoughts and bodies, like, oh, I can decide how I feel.
It's not how it happens. But also sometimes it's a trap.
Like I was out at a gig and it was one of those nights where I'm like, I'm not trying to get loose. I'm just happy to be around on my people. But we ran into some acquaintances who were adamant that we do shots, right, like I'll buy a round of shots. And then there were two of them, I'll buy around shots. Great, you brought the round. We're like, oh, I don't want to do shots. The other friend like, I'll buy around of shots, like let's all do shots.
You're like, I don't want to do shots. Then he was like, I know, Flexi's got money shots on you. Next I'm like I didn't even want the shots, and now you're making it seem like I asked you for the shots, and now you're paying for the shots. So I got the next round and I was like, if you want to drink, I'll get you a drink. It's not a big deal. But the framing was so strange because I was like pocket watched. Yeah, I wasn't even
in the deliberation. You handed me the drink, and now it's like I owe you because you know I've got money.
It's odd.
It's like when I went to Bali and the guy helped me with my bag.
Yeah, yeah, he got me. That's a good hussle.
I like that.
Do you know what it is? Helpful? It is helpful.
Look, I think every time we talk about friendships, I will say it is a lot easier to cultivate healthier standards with newer friends.
Yes, a great.
So I'm not saying drop your old friends, because no, that's not how it is. But there's a certain level of acceptance I have with people I've known for a long time, and I'm just like, it is the way it is. And there with these newer dynamics, there's so much more permission to be like, no, it can be different. We don't actually have to be friends, and we're making a very particular choice, So why don't we crank it and do it in a way that's a bit healthier
than we're used to. Everything's a conversation. But don't get it stuck at a big chat territory. No like, can we have a chat? No, squeeze it in. Be casual with it. You know, good luck with that, but always send through your queries requests for advice. Flex and Frooms on insert is the best way to do it. If you send it to us individually, it might get lost, you know how the dms are packed. Anyway, We miss you, Dally be well.
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