It's my worst and I haven't here.
Talk to me about this hair who flex and rooms?
It's lex and brooms cater.
Today we're talking about whether or not having a backup boy is a bad thing. So this essentially refers to when you have a partner and then you have someone waiting in the wings.
I would like to introduce a concept that I have called next in line please, and it's when you see someone who is eligible and you're not that close with them, but you think to yourself, I'd like to be next in line for you once that relationship deteriorates, I would like to be considered damn.
And also I have found out through a woman called Emily Naysmith who runs Ingridipedia podcast the especially ingredient in Boston. Mun's my favorite snack from Baker's Delight.
I can't believe that's what they're.
Called, mate, I know. Just just you wait for this one. It's flex and frooms.
Let's go. This is flex and frooms.
I'm cater, make nomous, I get myself around a bakery, treat give me a little Baker's Delight. Tell me why I'm going to my local rumbies and I'm loving the little hats they're wearing.
So you like corporate bake treats.
I don't mind both. I'd prefer one.
I like the ones that have the bread and it's like not sour dough, like the ones where give me the white sluiced with the slaugh so police and the little tiny pizzas. Now I came across this podcast. It's called ingredia Pedia, ingreedy Pedia.
So like ingredients, like an encyclopedia of ingredients.
Ingreedypedia exactly.
And it is by a woman called Emily Nay Smith. I'm not gonna lie. I don't know what the man's name is. And however, and that's okay.
We are on a bit of a tight schedule.
It's podcast and this radio show, so.
Research in fact checking could not happen.
Yeah, the other day on Emily's story, she posted it about Boston buns.
So they're these like.
Bunge you can get it from Brumbies or baker like. They are like a long bun or somethings, like a round bun, and they've got the icing.
And the desecrated coconut.
The desecrated, desecrated, desecrated is like when someone's dead. So it's a desicated coconut.
They're too close for me.
And Emily talks about how she would like lick all the icing off the bun. I personally like to eat it whole. Well, so please be gentle. She's a big fan of the podcast. You just said, Ill, Yeah, you're a PO, you're a post, you're a co host. And I would still say, ill, I'm.
A PO host and you're a LA.
Get my moment in your mouth? Do you know?
I don't the licking that gets me. The thing about licking the the the cream off the Boston bun is I think I just have very uncomfortable memories of watching fellow children play with food when I was younger, and I really didn't like it, And now as an adult, I've doubled down.
The same people that play with food are the ones that turn their eyelids inside out. Yes, it's a very particular Yes your people. No, I can't relate anyway. She dropped an incredible diabolical She dropped an incredibly diabolical hard fact on Instagram regarding Boston Buns and a crazy ingredient that is part of them.
Are you ready flex Ready?
Episode?
And I came across the recipe in the New Zealand Women's Weekly. This was the oldest kind of recipefore I could find. And I'm just reading through the ingredients. First ingredient one cup of mashed potato.
Yeap, what the secret ingredient of Boston buns is mashed potato? There is no way, babes, I'm serious. And allegedly this started. I'll get to the next bit of the podcast. It started in the nineteen thirties.
You're with Luthy when you bring in facts and dates, I.
Do, don't, I hold on.
Don't worry about it.
Has a little context for the mashed potato, So she says, the Boston bun dates back to the earliest twentieth century in Australia, where mashed and seved potatoes commonly you as an economical substitute for flower in.
What in what world can you imagine living in a world where using potato is more economical than flower?
I know, I don't get it.
I mean, I guess the potato just comes straight out of the ground. Yeah, well, there you go, guys. I want a bust and bud right now. We are learned girls, and we love, love, love to share big important technological news with you hit it.
Caitlin, tech Time, tech Time, tech Time.
It's tech time with flex and froomes on Cater put it to the next level.
Oh my god, we will never stop talking about AI.
Why is that?
Because we like to.
Think of ourselves as early adopters, and it's only a matter of time before AI makes irrepairable damages or potentially positives.
To the world.
So it's humans have done worse.
Precisely, I mean, I don't I think we should not say it's an all knowing being. Don't give it too much power.
We can harness it.
Yes, correct final last words, famous last words. So I came across the story in the Atlantic.
It's an American website.
We do love the Atlantic here we doy does plagiarize quite a bit from the Atlantic.
He is it.
Plagiarizing if you cite the sources? Hmmm, ridle me that. And we're on a new medium. It's not like I'm writing it out and putting it on my newsletter. It was just frooms world anyway. Allegedly, pirated copies of Margaret Atwood's books are being used to train AI.
Pirated as well, they can afford to buy.
That's what she said.
Margaret's books are no more than maybe twenty dollars a copy.
That's what I've been doing with that book.
Truly get it secondhand.
I really gotta say, guys, that's a life hack. Start buying secondhand books. Some people don't like because there's like weird crumbs and stuff in them. But trust me, I hate buying brand new books because I'm very doggied with them.
So you can get into ebooks like me, they still cost no.
I like having the physical It's a piece of art every time. So they sort of say, Margaret in the Atlantic took to the website to give a clap back, if you will. So thirty three of her books have been used as training material for wordsmithing computer programs. So essentially they can say, write a Margaret Atwood novel and it will glurb forth five fifty thousand words like soft
ice cream spiraling out of a dispenser. And essentially what she's saying is that she's likening this kind of art, if you not even art, she's likening this kind of program to a Stepford wife. So if you ever watch the Stepford Wives, I don't remember, but Nicole Kibn was in it.
What they do.
Is someone maybe the husband's start making these clones of their wives.
They do all the cooking, do everything.
They're really hot, but they don't have the annoying emotional aspects of the actual wives, right And Margaret at what he's saying, this is what they're doing with their books.
And it got me thinking, like.
If a program can come up with a Margaret Atwood type style, which is like, she's a very particular style of writing. Have I ever read Margaret Atwood book? Absolutely not, but just from reading this article, it's my first piece that I've read of hers.
She has a very particular tone.
Is it ever does it ever have life? Or is it always quote unquote dead? What do you mean, like, you know how some art or some movies. I was reading this other thing about AI, like, sure, someone could make a Christopher Nolan movie, but and it might be better on paper, like it might be not as long, it might have more succinct storylines. But do you reckon humans have this particular kind of like innate understanding that we need to know another human.
Made it in order to completely relate.
No, if people really respected the human element of creation of creating media, creating art, then they wouldn't critique it so heavily. I don't think it's the human element of a movie or the human element of a TV show, a human element of music that makes it feel good. I think people, especially these US modern day consumers who would trade, you know, who would easily sub out like human rights for convenience. I don't think they care that the media they're consuming didn't come from a human I
think what makes AI. I think what makes consuming AI media difficult is that it's trying really hard to be human, and that's not what people want. I think if you told the average person you can get the new season of your favorite show in half the amount of time because robots made it and AI made it and it's just like the seasons you watched thus far, people would say, yeah, great.
I wouldn't mind a new Sex and the City, Oliver, former Damn writer, A strike is quaking.
Yeah. Look, I think people are fearing Okay, what in this article? Where okay in this article where you're saying markret Atward wrote this article for The Idea, Yeah wow. So in this article where Margaret Atwood is insinuating that to have AI spit out stories, right, is the equivalent of you know, in the Stepward Wives, like you were saying earlier, when you create this figment of a woman, but you take out all the things that make her quote unquote human, which in this example was the nuances
and the neuroticisms and like the the irritating bits. That's what most people don't really like in their art. Like, I think people get really frustrated to hear that their favorite artists won't release an album because they have anxiety. People don't like that. People don't like hearing that the reason why they couldn't see their favorite movies because the real people aren't eating because there's a writer strike. They empathize,
but they don't like that. Hearing about Euphoria was going to come out in twenty twenty four, and now it's maybe going to start filming in twenty twenty six, They don't like that.
Are they gonna have all the same characters? Who knows it's gonna be Euphoria? Like post college, like no one.
Can get a job vibes.
So I think what people what we should be talking about is this conversation about AI gives people the impression they care more about people than they do.
It is that time of the week again. It is time to get down and deep into the relationship bag.
Hit it, Kaylein, Hello, lovel.
God, you hate to be driving right now and you're thinking I'm getting a call through the blue tooth. No, no, no, it's just flexing frooms.
I don't think I've heard my phone ring like make a noise since twenty eleven. Seriously, truly, well, I.
Went through the other day and changed all the sound effects like for my messages and for my calls, and I got the one that goes no, no, no. The pianof it cracks me up. You just gotta add a little bit of joy throughout you day. Guys, go and change back to the original iPhone ones. And that's grateful when you keep getting these robo calls. All right, this is a love line by a listener. It's a real listener, Guys.
I'm not gonna lie sometimes it isn't okay, high flex and frooms and Mickey, I love the pod.
Caitlin producer. Kaitlyn's here.
Kaitlyn wasn't there at the time, however, we'll extend the hello to Kaitlyn. We'll extend I love the potty sm so much hoped you'd get some intrigue out of my dilemma. Please keep a noon, love Hut. I've been exclusive with my boyfriend James for about two weeks now, and we're mutually healthily obsessed. I really appreciate the preface there. The other day, I was playfully rummaging around his Instagram dms and he casually said, Hey, you can only look at mine if I can look at yours.
Very bold of you to just go through straight.
Through the Yeah, just how do we get here? I like that for you.
In the moment, I did give him back his phone.
No no, no.
She said up, which hopefully doesn't make me look to sus I've been thinking that if he did go through my messages, he'd come across my ex long term situationship Danny. We were off and on for about four years and have been friends for seven years. Because of sporadic messages, it wouldn't take long for James to realize Danny and I weren't one hundred percent platonic. I'd flirt with him and we talk about how to handle another girl coming
into his life. Ultimately, I do see Danny as a backup even though I'm not sure.
He feels safe.
And anyway, we live in coasts opposite the US with no plans.
Okay, are you in New York?
Give me any tips?
With no plans to move out, a move from our beloved cities. My question is, when, if ever do you tell my boyfriend? When, if ever, do I tell my boyfriend about my ex friend? Also, what are your thoughts on backups? Is it wrong to be connected with that kind of person when you're in a relationship if you have no plans to act on it. Danny and I share particular neurodive urgencies, special interests, and he's supportive in the hard times. He is a genuine close friend. What
do I owe in this situation? Babes, listen before flex opens her mouth because she's making some crazy hand movement and she has her hand up against her mouth in a concerned way, like when you when you find yourself holding your neck, could be scared. It's give me that, so let's take a little break up. Next, we're gonna get the bottom of whether or not it's okay to have someone on the back burner when you're in a committed, healthy, obsessed relationship.
Flexi I've just told.
You the story from a listener and non of course like hard. She is in a mutually committed, healthy obsessed relationship with a new boyfriend. Meanwhile, she has a guy on the back burner. They're in a situationship for four years and friends for seven. Her BF is like, let's look through each other's dms. In fact, she actually started that line of query.
And he was like, Okay, if you're looking through mind, I'd like to look through yours. And she says, take back, yeah, take the phone. Did we mention that they've been boyfriend and girlfriend for two weeks?
Yes, but I'm a you know, exclusive for two weeks, so who knows how long this has been a courting process. She wants to know, is it okay to have Danny, who's the old situationship on the backburn of if it doesn't work out with current boyfriend James?
What your thoughts? Flicks? Mummy?
First, I have questions, Okay.
I'll attempt to answer on behalf of the listener.
Thank you so much. So we've got a mutually healthily obsessed relationship exclusive for two weeks. Yes, so one would say that when you're in a mutually healthy obsessed dynamic, that your eggs are in the horn basket.
Okay, would you say personally yes?
Okay.
Now we go on to say that there's Danny, the situationship on and off for four years, friends for seven They flirt, and they talk about how to handle another girl coming into Danny's life. This listener sees Danny as a backup. However, does not feel or know if Danny the same way. So it's not as though like we've been there, We're like, it's not the right timing. It's it's plausible that what you're experiencing to be a situationship
is a platonic friendship with romantic tingencies. It's tingencies because this person is a agenda you're attracted to. But I don't know if there's anything here that you should be concerned about, or in the sense that I mean that, like you in this moment decide what it is or isn't. So like, if they're on the back burner, then put them on the back burner. Don't be keeping up the flirty flirty flirty while you're in this quote unquote mutually
healthily obsessed dynamic. Right, And then the question what do I own the situation. You don't owe anybody anything, but what is your responsibility in the situation? I would say often to behave in a way that sets a precedent for how you expect your other half to behave. Not
that you hold them to that standard. But if you find find out that your boyfriend James is in the DMS with their friend that they've been put on the back burner with, would you not feel some type of way I think you might look.
I I am hesitant to say this because it is a real list in the DM.
Yeah.
I have a bit of a a sixth sense about this one. Ooh, I believe that Danny, who's the X situation ship deal a little number on your heart.
Oh.
The vibe that perhaps there are some unrequireded love there because.
You say you were never.
Going to move from opposite cities, sounds like maybe you would consider it, but he didn't.
Just getting a sense.
There for it to go on for four years, there's got to be some kind of hankering there.
Like I personally, that's an emotional commitment.
Emotional commitment and friends for seven years, where we're also keeping tabs on how long that's been.
And also there was a vibe shift. You didn't say it's been on and off for seven years. There would have been three years of platonic friendship, a vibe shift exchange due to one or both parties acknowledging that it's not just platonic. And maybe the only limitation is that you're at a distance.
I think that's what we're getting.
Yeah, because she says, you know what here, darling, You've never said anything about what you and James have in common. Instead, you've said, Danny, who's the exitration chip, share neurodivergencies, special interests, and he's supportive in the hard times. I get the vibe that maybe you are potentially in love with Danny.
That's why you would keep him on the back burner.
Other's not giving some random situationship that is still in the DMS, A bit of a like letting.
Okay, so this is different.
This is just my surmising.
This is different. What I will say in summary, it is okay to conceptually have people that are next in line. Okay. Love is not eternal, unfortunately, and you don't want to be the dimwit who assumes that they won't be someone else to move on to next. However, you shouldn't be nurt sharing the romantic part of that relationship in any kind of way while you're in a platonic no sorry, while you're in a monogamous relationship.
I tend to agree.
Yeah, but also like I reckon pay yourself on the back for having options full stop.
Exciting.
I feel like sometimes people stay in relationships that are bad because they feel like there's no other option. So relish in the fact that you are a woman with choices.
Yeah, definitely the choice feminism. You do have a bit of a bone to pick with pop culture, bear with us. Pop culture would describe the pick me as historically a woman who distances herself from other women to be more appealing to men or the patriarchy.
We have make me in our midst hold on just kidding, oh oh, tendencies without growing them.
Yeah, rooms is the pick me in the room now for those of us who For those of us who have the acquainted with the very famous Gorne Girl monologue in which this protagonist lists out the key features of a pickney, which is oft referenced in pop culture, including but not limited to it's hot dogs, never gains.
Weight, drinks beer yeah, and actually likes the taste, loves beer, serious, watches sport, or at least gives the impression she watches sport to become more appealing to men, likes doing anal that was in the monologue.
It was in the monologue, But I don't think they can use her. We can use her redacted. And with that in mind, I have a fear of a feeling that the sudden uptick in women in particular being more interested in watching sports or liking sports more broadly because of the way the social zetgeist is changing, is going
to be misattributed to a wide pickny issue. I think that people are currently viewing the widespread nature of women watching sports as a way to pander to men, and it's so far from that right now.
Do you reckon people still attribute that? Look, I'm going to say I'm going to say a bit of a reverse one that I hope you can bear with me, because I'll be bearing with myself in this monologue. But sport is not inherently something that enjoying as a woman should be picked me.
I believe that it has historically.
Been a pick me.
I don't think you would have said that say that pre well Cary.
Place do not do not talk over the lady.
Yeah, I'm sorry, sorry, bro.
Historically sports have been exclusionary to women. Tell me why I hate going on to a pub during September. The pub in Paddington absolutely raucous with feral dogs, top vibe. However, so as a woman to enjoy that scenario and that subculture, there had to be an element that picked me. I'm sorry, I got a point. Some fingers, however, now.
Pointing fingers, let's put them all.
However, now, liking sport is a different There is a different essence of different genes in the pubs, in the clubs, in the sporting rooms, in the alf.
W afl W.
Do you know what I'm saying, babes, it should be afloat?
Do you say I'm with you? I guess is that what you were saying? That it is it's the point that I made. You've reiterated the same point, which I love, which I love.
A woman explaining you're taking that back.
To that's what I'm saying. So if we're saying traditionally, the idea of being a pick me me is being a straight woman who distances herself from her womanhood to be more to pander to men him whatever we're talking for us. Okay, then what is it called when women pander to women? Because that's what I'm on.
It's called the sistern.
Gang Gang, fingerhearts, fingerhearts women pandering to women.
Honestly, there's nothing better.
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