Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast.
Trauma dumping with your hairdresser yay or nag yay?
I've never done myself.
I don't love being really chatty in service based environments like hairdresser, nails, manicure, pedicure, whatever, unless we're friendly or friends. But even so, I'll do a little customary small talk. But let's zip it, keep it quiet. Not for any reason that I don't want to feel fatigued when I want to feel relaxed. And I already talk a lot. Generally, I talk a lot for work. I don't want to talk a lot at this three hour service. But I will say I'm not the only one that feels this way.
I was recently reading an article on Refinerary twenty nine talking about trauma dumping on your therapists and how it's actually like a huge issue within the industry of hairdressing.
It's not just like you said, trauma dumping on your therapist, you mean on your hair sal Honest. I was like, wait, so.
Now we can't even know somebody thevis No trauma dupping with your hair dresser in any service based industry is actually a huge issue, so much so that Laurier literally did a study.
Why would you laugh, because of course they did. Of course they did.
And so basically they're focusing on basically, they're focusing on this initiative on salon workers' mental health, which I think is very particular. But let's hear what they had to say about it. They said that on average, hairstylists spend two thousand hours per year listening to their clients.
Now, I also listening as part of the job, so let's not categorize all listening.
I love that, Like the only thing that they're not listening to is how much she wanted your hair, don't gorge, don't tell it.
So it's reported that one and fifty hair professionals surveyed, sixty five percent have experienced anxiety, burnout, of depression during their professional careers, and some are saying that it usually comes or usually aligned with this like emotional labor that they have to do.
When dealing with clients.
So obviously part of the job in itself can be quite emotionally taxing. You're dealing with people and their hair and their image and what that means to them. But additionally, to keep up those client relationships, what's expected, the friction, the difficulty in keeping clients, the competitive landscape, all of these things. It's not to say that I care or
don't care. I just think it's fascinating the trauma dumping, especially because I do think that when I personally sit in a chair with anyone doing something to my body, I feel a closeness with them, or I feel like there is a responsibility that they have, and I imagine they take it really, really really seriously, like my tattoo is. For example, the guy who's done my upper body. When I first met him, I was like, what's the worst
part of your job? And he's like, oh, I just think it's He's like, oh, it's not like the worst part. But number one is known that you're inflicting pain on everybody that comes in your chair, and that they're often being really silent about that pain. They're just like pressing it or repressing it. It's a weird thing because I know it's true. I know you are experiencing pain and you just have to kind of deny it for the
sake of the service. But also the second thing, he's like, I experience a lot of weird relationships with people, parasocial relationships, people who feel like we're close or that we're friends because we have experience and intimacy. And so people come in there and they share these secrets and they talk freely, and they feel comfortable because you know, you're permanently marking my skin, you're cutting my hair, you're taking away my identity, or you're adding to my identity. Well, I might as
well just fill you in on the process. I wonder if hairdressers, if like a hairdresser could really quantify how much of their reoccurring client base is due to them trauma dumping or allowing trauma dumping. You know, like that closeness a client feels with their hairdresser. Is it because they let you talk about insert relationship breakdown or your annoying boss, or that coworker that you really love or that first date you just went on. Because I imagine
it'd be a big amount. When I think about pets I've gone to in the past, or manicurists I have loved, you end up building a friendship because you're like, well, why wouldn't I not tell you about this thing I just went through. We're here now for sure?
But do they actually.
Want to do it? You know, it's like when Uber released that talking.
Question, everyone had a load off that everyone had a load off. No, I wonder if it is something like I wonder. I always think about this with like ride share kind of thing. If you're riding in a car for a long time, probably do want to have a convo? Yeah, my dad's times will take me to school and hey up, I want to listen to my I love when I'm like driving and I see like a parent taking their kid to school and they got their headphones, and I see one of mine. Should we talk about this more
on the podcast? Absolutely? I have feelings, especially about tattoo artists. Okay, of course I only have one tatoo, but I can speak to that experience. I will exploit the experience as I have for many years now. I think of this a lot with tattoo artists. As we know, we both have a lot of experience with tattoo artist. Try you as a consumer and me as the best friend of a tattoo artist. Her name is Madison Griffiths. She tattoos as well. Baby serious does it all? That's where she
that's her job? What? Yeah, yeah, look Okay, guys, are my best friends.
This is Madison, author, documentary and podcaster. Yeah, also tattoo artist.
Yeah, look at her instagrams Madison Griffiths. So just sort of say, guys, this is my best friend and we talk every day and she's always telling me that, you know, it's a major part of her job is talking to clients, and like her work as a writer as well is very kind of like personal writing. It's about feminism and kind of all that jazz and.
Yes' seminism and all that does she's et cetera.
Whatever, that's stuff whatever, And yeah, she often talks about kind of like the how close it feels straight away, and she would have it like doubly as someone who both tattoos people, so who's listening, but also like a lot of the people that come and see her have read her book, so there's like this like if you read my friend's book, it's called tissue, Like it's so personal, So I think that's husing. But yeah, she does definitely talk about the like emotions that come with it. And
I think with hairdressing, do I get it. I'm a girl who doesn't like to speak. It's interesting to me that you say that when someone's like doing something to your body a manicurist and massuse, you like think about it. I don't think about it. And you're saying that's just made me realize, Oh yeah, when someone's massaging me, it's like go out of my body. Like I'm not. I'm not thinking o my Like if I if I thought about, oh, there's like a person in the room touching me right now,
I'd probably stell freaking out. Oh I like to I think I'm good at like removing myself.
I'm disassociating.
I become not Lucinda. I'm just who are you? Or just a sack?
Yeah?
Yeah, caracas a caracas. Right, this is an interesting break flex. Thanks for bringing that in.
We just got here. Were not even done. But what do you mean it's literally been too or maybe two minutes. I don't worry.
I can speak some more. I swear that went for ages.
No, okay, sorry it didn't. What I will say though, I reckon that. I remember I told you about that uber I took in Ghana and he was saying that he notices that people think that the exchange of money removes their social responsibility. So if I'm paying you to take me from A to Z. I don't have to know who you are, what your name is. The money I'm giving you is for the service. And he's like, if you're really deep it, I'm making sure I'm transporting
your whole body exactly where you need to be. Your life is in my hand, your safety is in my hands. You're trusting that I won't just take you off road and go and traffic you. And maybe you're not thinking about it that deeply. He's like, I'm aware of it, and I see it. And he's like, also, you're a whole person. We're having this thirty minute experience. Why would
we not know each other's names. That feels a bit strange, and I can imagine in different industries, hairdressing, any service based industry, people might have the idea that I'm paying for this experience, Like I'm paying you six hundred dollars to do my hair. The least you could do is listen to me or let me say, let me give you feedback. However, I want to give you feedback or let me vent for a little bit, or offer me a drink.
It's the least you could do. And I feel like.
We kind of get transaction and socializing confusing because a lot of just plain socializing is transactional. I share so because I want you to share, and vice versa, and we don't really understand what our role is when things feel personal and they're not. Like I say all the time, when I say things like I don't really want a lot of new friends, it's still saying I'm not open to friends. I'm aware of what friendship is and I know they don't have the capacity for heaps of it.
But people get offended. She just want to be my friend. I'm not even thinking about you. That's why I think it comes to in other instances like I'm paying this money and I need this experience, and I want my hair to be perfect, and I want this there's a whole other person and their role heat isn't just to provide you this service. They actually exist out of this transaction. It's like a whole person, not like an I robot hair cutting machine.
I don't think we really think about that. Like you know, when you like, let's say you go to.
Have you ever had a conversation with a stranger or like a bartend, You're like, oh, gosh, I needed that it was so good.
Yeah, and it's like did they need that? I don't know if they needed that.
You think you're being so charming and they're like, yeah for that Twelter.
Do cocktail that they have already spent fifty minutes making, so that they're in deficit.
Bro.
It's like when you just get macas and you're like, wait, someone made this. It didn't come out of the micro like out of like the little McDonald's machine. Can't think about it too much, sums God. You've been listening to the Flex and Frooms Daily podcast. For more, tune in de cater on D A B or stream it on iHeartRadio