Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast, Happy Monday, Little Ones, Such pleasure to be back. I just want to apologize in advance for last week's podcast where I was screaming into the microphone. Apparently it's just a noise issue, but I tried to listen back. As you know, I listened. I'm a you're an avid fans. I'll get like when Spotify Rapped comes out, and it'll be like.
You're top number one fan, top zero point zero one percent of all listeners.
Let's get into the potty.
Let's do it. Keeter, Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms, FLEXI. I want to tell you about a love situationship, a bit of an issue that we need to decode. I'm going to get straight into it. Thank you, everybody, please listen. My work frequently holds industry events where I can have a plus one. I brought my partner along and he got along very well with my co workers, but started revealing super personal things about my sex life, which human I uninvited him to the next event and he got
really mad about it. Should I feel guilty about setting boundaries with my partner and my work. May I just say, wowses have you listening? Have you ever experienced this? I personally haven't.
It's so tricky though, because I feel like the issue with picking a plus one is that you assume they understand the context of the event you're inviting them too. One can say broadly, it's inappropriate to talk about your sex life at work, but at our workplace we pushed the boundaries more often than not. But I could imagine if I invited a partner to an event that wasn't recording live on air and they said something that was considered socially inappropriate, I'd be like, yeah, don't do that.
Be throng hands.
You don't have permission, you're a work event, you're a plus one. Before we even set a boundary, I would like to present to you a phenomenon that I have noticed within a lot of couples and even friendship relationships,
the underlying competition. Now, if you find yourself in a position with someone who, like in this scenario, is refusing to acknowledge the unspoken boundary, I swear they're in competition with you, because only someone who's truly in competition with you would seek to create a type of you know, union where you're not equal, Like you're at a work event. You should be presenting as a united front. Say nothing if that means you can be a professional plus one.
But in this instance, there's competition somewhere, and I don't know where, but I see it a lot, especially in romantic couples. Yeah, I just I think it's messy. Do you know what's also really insane?
Though?
Having to explain to someone common courtesy. There's no appropriate way to have that conversation. Hey, insert person who's meant to love me. When you came to my place of work and you spoke about our sex life inappropriately to my coworkers, that really hurt my feelings. Now you sound insane, I guess because to have to explain it, They're like, wait, what, like, what do you mean?
It was funny, it made sense in the context. Everybody laughed, nobody cares.
Relax. Then you feel like a nitpicker, like a Marge Simpson.
I don't know what that means in this context.
I'll take your word for it, and not again a Simpsons trauma. Look, I'll say I think some people say crazy things when they feel socially anxious, not an excuse. However, we've seen it time and time again. You're in a group of new people, you've got nothing to say, You're going to go for the lowest commons and nominated because you know you'll get a rise out of people. Ipso facto, I'll say, have the conversation. I think what you say
about common courtesy is important. But I do think people were raised in different ways, and for some people being crazy and a little bit open with their private life was accepted, and other people have decorum.
What if they say common courtesy isn't that common? I mean common sense, isn't that common? Precisely someone says.
That this is flex and frooms on kit.
There's a lot we can learn from other cultures. Personally, bit tired of learning. I think we've taken a lot of information over the course of our lives and we're not even done living yet. I'm just concerned about how much excess space I have left, especially because as we know your subconscious mind, you know, in your brain it stores everything you've ever seen, thought, felt, smell, experienced. At some point, I'm like, let's just stop, let's pause for
a second. But how do we feel about sleeping at work, yay or nay? Shall we introduce don't say too much. Oh she's yawning. She is yawning through me is yawning. Because in other cultures that aren't Australian, you can sleep at work and it's not frowned upon. Bring that back. It's the Japanese art of sleeping at work in a mory.
It's a very common practice. You might have you been to japan paries, you've experienced so you might see the salarymen sleeping on the floor, on the train stations, floor, at cafes, at cafeterias, and if you've seen this firsthand, you'd be very taken aback by it, because it's unusual to see someone looking unconscious in real life and everybody
just walking past like nothing is going wrong. But after some research, it's actually not considered to be odd because culturally this idea of rest is interwoven in Japanese culture. Not rest precisely, but it's almost like a celebration of how far you've been able to extend yourself to work, that your work ethic is so pristine, it's so premium, you're so committed to going the extra mile that you would fall asleep randomly in the middle of the day.
Can I get a hoo rah hoorah?
The girl boss is a bit different in Japan. Literally, Look, I will say that I've heard or seen those, like galleries of men who get really drunk in Japan after work and then they pass out. Have you seen those?
Yeah?
I wonder if we're getting the too confused. No, are they just really good at sinking piss?
Perhaps? Who knows?
But I will say though, it is something to consider because and I don't want to get into it, but I will briefly.
The industrial revolutions.
Stay with me, martism one O one.
The eight hour work day is made for how men's bodies function, is it? Okay, We've had a brief conversation about this before. The hormonal cycle for men is twenty four hours, right, so every day men reset, refresh whatever. For women traditionally whatever, it's twenty eight days. You know, your whole menstrual cycle. You've got your ovulating period, your
menstrual period, your police you know. You get what I'm saying, right, So this idea that women are excitted to go to work and be prepared to function at any given time of the day during the month is actually insane because for half of the month your body's going through something
makes that actually like quite impossible. But for men, it's a fresh start every day, twenty four hour cycle, Like you can get up every morning and do the same thing you did yesterday and be at work for eight hours because tomorrow you'll be refreshed.
We need to find a way to incorporate this into the work workforce without giving the appearance of women a week. There's a lot that needs to be done in order for us to actually put this into practice.
I think very little. Let's just start tomorrow.
So I won't become an in next week out.
It's a bad week for me actually ovulating.
Actually it's a good week when I'm ovulating when I'm menstruating, though, bad week.
Flop era, flop era, damn Kata, flex and frooms.
You're listening to flex and frooms.
What the frick?
We have yet another moral dilemma from my brain to you. Imagine this. You have a friend, good friend, close, ish friend. Now thankfully for you, this friend is a planner. If there's a social event happening that that you know, rallies, the girlies, this person is planning it. We're going for drinks.
I'm going to jeez, we're going to museum.
Let's shout out to that person. In my experience, they're also the person that pays for the bill and then you split.
Wrong wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong wrong, and correlations is not equal what causation par So in this particular scenario, this friend is the planner. Whatever it's going on between you and the girl is. They're planning museum, dates, bars, drinks, whatever they're planning. However, like clockwork, every time you get to set event, they're always complaining about not having money to participate. Oh, the museum's ticketed. Oh you know, I
don't really, Maybe we should just go somewhere else. Or you get to dinner and they're like, you know, I just have a drink, Like I don't really, and you're like, wait the first time, odd, let me get it. I got you. Every single time, you're constantly planning things and then just not having money to participate in the things. As the friend who's experiencing it, what do you do?
I think we just need to go back to the drawing board. There's nothing worse. Well, no mil goods, I'll say, I believe, especially when it comes to dinners, it's about breaking bread together, Madeleine, ever seen it the TV show? We love our bread, we love our we each love each other. Did you like that show? I don't remember your little hats on anyway. As Matilda says, the wisdom of Matilda is Madeline. Oh, Madeleine, madln We love our bread, and we love our butter, but most of all we
love each other. But we still do love our bread and butter. And I think you need to find someone where you can all eat together. Can I make a suggestion McDonald's get those two for one deals. Get the app. My mac is up. No free press now, I will say it is annoying when you organize something and then there's a complaint about money. I think if you're going to be the planner and you're a bit skinned, then
you need to be planning things that are free. There's plenty of free things to do around the city.
Circling back though, you made a comment that usually the planner is the payer. Now, I'm not a planner, but I'm a payer. I don't usually see the correlation between the planner and the payer. I usually find the planner planned and then offsets that responsibility. So what they're creating is like a reciprocal environment. I've done the hard yards now to confirm that you guys are down pay and then someone like, oh I got it, put it on my card. Put it on my card. It's an odd situation.
It happens way more than you think, and I don't know what it is. I think perhaps that people don't realize how much money does like ostracize you from participating in stuff generally. And I think when you're like planning a fun and hanging with the girl is like, I'm a sick we'll figure it out. And then you get to the movies and it's gonna cost you forty bucks for a simple ticket and maybe a chocolate bar, and then you're out. It's like you got to have Unfortunately you got to pay to play.
No Nando's after the movie for you hunt.
There's none but what I will say, you're right, there are heaps of free events, and what we need to be bringing back is like some ingenuity around socializing. It can't be costing me an arm and a leg every time I want to hang out with a friend, dinner parties, bring the food over. You're gonna cook a little something something something, you know what. I love sitting in the park in summer, little picnic, map picnic.
Go to Harris Farm, go to the like the free not the freeb area, but like the super discounted area. Get the camerabert whatever else is there. I will finally say.
Go to Harris Farm. When you're trying to be mindful of you're spending, you lost it.
I will finally say, seeing as we're twenty four, we're not really yet in the wedding territory. That's when things are really going to fire up and hid in the hens. You're hitting the engagement party, you hit in the barbecue after the wedding, Like, I'm not excited for that. Go to your luins, get your savings up. Girls.
Flex and firms, Flex and frames, cater never miss a beat.
I actually never learned how to read a clock. I don't believe you, no, I swear on Earth. I have a watch right now, stremely analog couldn't tell you what time it is. HM. Takes me a little while. Alas I knew deep in my baby brain that we would get iPhones. I'm sitting on a swing and being like, wouldn't it be amazing to have like a tablet in your hand that had the Internet and texting on it.
You were sitting on a swing, I swear talking about the Internet.
Do you go on a swing thinking one day?
Great Java, a device that you hold outside of the home.
No chords required. It's like see a few weeks ago. Well, we've been speaking about it for a few weeks. The term intrusive thoughts. I just want to clarify, no one's no one's messaged me about this. I've just been listening back to the episodes as I wont to do when I can't sleep. Do you do that?
Listen back to us when I can't Yeah?
No, Oh, it's really good because my brain.
The recommendation.
I don't know this really good podcast because I listened back to what we're talking about, and because I often forget I listened to you talk and that I think, oh, how would I respond? And it's always what I think I'll respond, which is super interesting. That's cool, and I think we're very soothing to listen to. I'd say little haha before bed, I say this sort of say I've been using the term intrusive thoughts, and I want to
change the script. I need to think of a new thing that isn't intrusive thoughts, because in my mind, an intrusive thought is aggressive and you don't want it, and it's things that are painful, and a lot of the bunny quotes, bunny quotations, quotation marks, speaking talking marks.
Yeah, I always forget.
And you're the one who's meant to tell me what they are, the bunny rabbits, you know the ones.
The bunny rabbits of me saying intrusive thoughts. This is probably actually not the correct term. So the juries out and what I'm going to call.
It, maybe it's like it's an unexpected.
Thought, a repetitive unexpected thought, a rat. Yeah, I'm having a rat.
Remember I was telling you that I keep using the phrase epiphany when I just meet FAI thought, I just had a thought.
It wasn't that big a deal. I feel like my repetitive thought.
Yeah, yeah, let's go on a benign repetitive thought, because intrusive sounds rather sinister.
And also you're.
Right, like the visceral image that comes up is like aggressive, negative, dangerous, fearful, PTSD, nightmarish, and sometimes it's just picturing you, your family, and another family having a dance battle.
So this is another one. I was at an event last weekend and I was talking to somebody and you know when you're talking to somebody and they like act something out, like, for example, they're like, I went to get on the bus and I dropped my mighty and they would be like, oh, they gesticulate. They gesticulate. Then I'll get drawn out of the conversation and for the next ten seconds, I just imagine them doing the movement over and over again.
Do you ever do that?
No? But this is hearing you say these things reminds me that I don't think I have a visual picture in my mind as clear as you do, because I I when I daydream and I imagine things, I speak it like I'm recounting it in my head and then we went here, and that would be really pretty. But you're constantly seeing things sick.
I can see how that would be really distracting.
It's very disturbing. Actually, I'm just imagining that I'm doing it again again.
Like a sim And then how do you stub back in?
I just like get back into it.
And you're a quirky girl. Anyway, Everyone's like you're a little yeah away with.
The fairies today. FAM Mission twenty twenty three. Stop being quirky and stop using the term course watch this space. Ret repetitive, unexpected, unexpected run, unexpected rut. I'm having a rut in my right era.
We can workshop that.
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