Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast. It's Flex and Frooms. FLEXI do you believe in polyamory? I do cool polyamory when you have okay, next topic, more than one partner in a romantic way, So there's ethically non monogamous.
Well not particularly. Polyamory is just this ability to love, like share romantic love with multiple people.
So it doesn't have to be sexual.
No, it doesn't have to be.
It's romantic love.
Yeah, Like you have the capacity to love more than one person at a time, then polygamy is the capacity to have more than one like relationship like multiple wives.
Yeah are rare, if you will. Sure this is from somebody whose partner has wanted to go poly and then the realization and the reality of poly life has hit different. She says, I've been with my partner for three years and I can see myself getting married and having kids with him in the future.
People, that's your first mistake.
She's destruck. Problem is he's told me that he wants to open the relationship up and his Polly, let's open this pit. I love him so much, so I said yes. But now that he's actually seeing others. I hate it, and I feel like I'm a bad person if I say I'm no longer cool with it. Will I just have to accept him being Polly? Or do I need to end it?
Wa wa we wah wah. What do you reckon?
Close the pit? Respect, Let's get some seats in this serena and get everyone to put their asses on them. I reckon like you are fully within your right. You come first, regardless of whether it's an open relationship or it's Polly. You are the base. And the minute that it gets out of your control and that you don't feel comfortable, you need to don't maybe say sets and boundaries, but you need to learn how to ask for what
you want. And yes, he might be disappointed, but it's your relationship, it's your life, and I'm going to commend you for tryal and getting out of your comfort zone. And it's okay to not want certain things. I candone, Yeah.
It's such a big dog move to give it a red hot go. I will say. This is also why I am pulling back from critical thinking, because everything within me understands that relationship should not be exclusionary. Like I think that when you decide to join your life with someone else's. It should be expansive to give you the confidence and the energy and the resource and love to
do whatever you want. Right, It's like the love is so supportive that I can be here I want and go what I want and do what I want, and we can do it as a unit. And so I can see how sometimes monogamy can be really like entrapping to be like mmm, but you can't because I don't want you to. It's okay, what if I want to huh, what if I want to do that thing over there? So, yeah,
commend you for giving it a red hot go. But what I will say is that I think the reality of polyamory is something that probably more of us should have experience before we critique it so heavily as well. So I think in that instance you've had the lived experience and you can now say, actually, like I don't
really love it for me, thank you. And also I think it's a real learning a teachable moment for your partner to understand the reality of what's being requested, because I could imagine not to say that all relationships can be fifty to fifty, but if you were seeing it through the way your partner was. I think maybe he'd also have some different opinions, because right now it's a bit imbalanced, you know, like he's out there living and you're like waiting at home being like, hey, you come
back and let me. I think you have more options in like stay open or close as well, and those options will only be revealed to you if you have a conversation about it. I would also love to know what his motivations are for being Polly and going Polly and deciding after three years with you, like not to say that like he's trying to run away from yourn escape.
I wasn't saying that. I might think that, but you know, like to understand the motivations might give you more security on what he's seeking elsewhere, because sometimes it's just like what you can't provide. And if you understood that what he was seeking else it was not something that was detracting from what you provide, you might feel better about.
It, or you can change yourself. Yeah, another option.
I'm too territorial for that, though. I could be Polly and date someone monogamous naturally naturally, but you know, good on you. Twenty twenty three.
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