Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast. It's flexin Frumiani. I am using this Mac Prep and Prime Fix Broumetan with a gold light little sparkle in it. It looks pretty good if you need a refresh anyway. Not sponsored, just love sharing products. I'm mentoring my beauty. Beauty blogger you Rah. Here's the potty babes Flex and Rooms arm Kaita mark my word, Liliana Hankan. Ballet flats are back.
Oh, I'm aware, so you cranking them?
Tell me why? Last week I happened upon a pair of twenty thirteen vintage bed ballet flats in your home in my home, yes, in my parents' home. And they're the ones that are grippie, have like an octopus on the bottom. Yeah, very very comfortable. Yeah, the ones you pop in your clutch on a night out.
I'm aware.
And I'm telling you they're coming back. Tell me why. When I posted it on my story, eighty percent in the poll said they're fuggly and to put them back in the cupboard. Girl, Then tell me why.
One late week, late one way, one leg I'm in fire waiter. Tell me why.
One week later, I'm strolling down Gold Street and blonde I happened upon to choosey and there they are two pairs of ballet flats in a brown and black colorway with a tiny little stinky bow.
Not the stinky bow I call it, guys.
Ballet flats are back and listen like it just goes to show. This is like when CROs were a thing six years ago, okay, and only my most stylish friends were getting around it, Like when you're so far in the forefront taste maker that people on the street think that you are weird and wrong.
It's like my Coca Cola passion fruit pulp concoction. You people aren't ready for it. But let it be known. I've said too much. I've said too much.
So yeah, next week, guys, I'll be wearing the ballet flats with island ees. Get mum to express posts.
Oh my gosh, it's.
Like wearing a hat. I always say, guys, if you need to increase your confidence, put a hat on and go outside. Okay, per It's hard.
But you get it done.
Tinder's twenty twenty three dating stats are here, and I'm going to share them with you. The audience do with these what you will. If you're on the apps, please beware. I'm out there, okay, and I'm watching, and I'm watching the field pass. I'm seeing a little too many of you saying physical touch is their love language.
Do you know what just dawned on me the other day?
Why aren't more people just blatantly lying on their apps?
Or maybe they are and we don't know they are. Surely, Yeah, it's odd. Let's continue ry.
I say I'm looking for my cousin.
I lie about where I live. Oh that's I don't need that information out there.
I do say I'm in glennar Ras in Victoria. Okay. So this is from Tinder and they say that there is a renaissance in dating driven by authenticity, which flies in the face of what we just said. So Future of Dating Report twenty twenty three reveals that seventy five percent of gen Z believes they are challenging the dating and relationship standards they were passed down to them.
You would, wouldn't you?
Yeah, it's the story is old, a start a revolutionary. The key takeaways are eighty percent of eighteen to twenty five year olds agree that their own self care is the top of their priority, and seventy nine percent want prospective partners to do the same. Even more interesting, close to seventy five percent of young singles say they find a much more attractive if they're open to working on their mental health.
See this open to working on mental health. Let that be the red flag that you need to look out for, because open to working on is not the same as we're currently working on.
Okay.
Open to children is another good one to reel them in. Open to children, Okay, okay. They say that gen Z prioritizes value based qualities overlooks. So looks they value fifty six percent as opposed to loyalty seventy nine percent, respect seventy eight percent, open mindedness sixty one percent. Honestly, I'll just be happy.
To want wah wah guys like okay.
This is interesting though.
Tinder is seen firsthand that eighteen to twenty five year olds are thirty two percent less likely to ghost someone than those over thirty three. Really, seventy seven percent of Tinder members reply to a match within thirty minutes, what forty percent respond within five minutes, and over a third reply immediately.
Okay, We're not here to do any sponsored content.
We just want the information, can we They're always on the app.
Look.
I like these surveys generally because I am a data freak, but I am mindful of the conditions in which people are taking these surveys. People have a tendency to answer aspirationally what they would prefer to be like, as opposed to the reality. And I don't think surveys do a really good job at capturing nuance. So yes, well maybe I didn't ghost them, but I just took really long time to reply. And when they texted me and said
are you ghosting me? I said no, oh, And then I did that thing where I jumped off the app for the you know, the first time in two weeks, and then I deleted my account like I didn't.
I didn't ghost, I just got off. You know.
I would like to hear more positive dating experiences, hacks, tips, and success stories. I don't want this data that existing data land. I think we need analog experiences and word of mouth stories. I was scrolling on the phone, as I do, but I try to do that less now. I was so good about reading consistently. I would read like four books a week from twenty twenty to like twenty twenty two, and something about that TikTok attention span. You have to work hard. I find myself flipping between
Kindle TikTok, Instagram kindle to it's a problem. But on one of my temporary put the kindle down, pick up TikTok, See what's pumping. This girl was talking about the Dolly Parton effect, she said, and I don't know if she coined this term herself. I don't know if it's a known thing, but she's that what she's trying to instill in her own life, particularly when it comes to dating. But I think it's just prevalent for anything. Is this idea that Dolly Parton is who she presents herself to be.
She visually appears.
As who she presents herself to be, and the general consensus by people who exist around her affirm that she is who she presents herself to be.
So this idea that.
What you see, what you think, what you say, how you dress is consistent for you for how people perceive you. This person was, I think trying to explain that as we grow old and we become aware of how we're able to be social chameleons. We start to suppress parts of ourselves that actually quite integral to who we are as people in favor of bolstering other parts that just aren't really necessary or helpful. I was talking in therapy a couple of years ago about how I was having
a really hard time. I was resenting people who wouldn't speak up for themselves because I resented the fact that I was in a position where I constantly had to put so much context around who I am and who I am whatever.
There was like.
Misplaced anger with that. I was like, that's not fair. Everyone needs to speak up. I was like, no, nobody needs to. And then I was speaking to a friend about how I think that it's like a really great gift that only people who know you really well understand the nuance. It's the price you get for investing your time in someone else. You get to see the contradictions
and the nuance, and that's really exciting. But what's also really frustrating is that for the rest of your life you have to battle against this idea that if my hair looks a certain way, people think I'm this kind of person. And so now you're having to constantly readdress your internal narrative about yourself the moment someone doesn't understand.
And so perhaps it's healthy to become almost like a positive simplified caricature of yourself for the benefit of like not getting so fatigued interacting with the world.
Yes, I see, it's fascinating if I'm understanding what you're saying. I feel like Dolly isn't the best example of this.
I know, I don't know dearly partner well enough to know all I google it.
She's always looked very similar, but for a long time she was extremely misunderstood, Like in the seventies and the eighties, everyone thought she was dumb as do you reckon? That's what it means, Mickey. She's a bit of a characterture of herself. Yeah, Like she has like Dolly World, and she has like a really kitch house, and so I think that's her way of simplifying herself for the world.
Even though she knows she's complicated. She's like just presenting what she wants.
That's what I was when I was a CEO.
Yeah, yeah, and it works until it doesn't.
But I also think maybe the reason why it didn't work so well for us is because we're also grappling with which part of ourselves have we commodified?
Have we commodified the actual self or the brand?
And I think the more we separate the two, the brand versus self, it gets easier to know when we are stepping into performance archetype versus self.
Yes, scary things to consider.
Literally, you're listening to Flex and frooms on Kita.
Am I rebranding or am I regressing? This is flex speaking? But I know you know that here's the thing. Twenty twenty three, I did that thing that people do, and I set an intention. I said, this year has to be hotter, it's got to be sexier, it's got to be more enjoyable.
I need core memories.
You know, you get to that point in life when you think of some of your most core exciting memories and they're five years old.
Oh that's not good.
I think a lot of people fear aging out of the things they used to find interesting. Right. Oh I'm too old to go clubbing, or I'm too old to go backpacking in a hostel. But my worry is that when you finally find the time, the energy, the money, the resources, one it's not there. Jakata is thinking. Two, it closes down how many amazing experiences and festivals are just not they don't they don't exist anymore for whatever reason.
Or three, we get so comfortable with living a mediocre lifestyle that we don't even remember what I felt like to be fairal and excited. So it was my personal journey to bring back that energy of a younger version of myself who was just a full time life enjoyer.
Would you say that I somewhat inspired this?
Absolutely?
Thank you?
Thank you for me being in my life as a friend and colleague is quite integral to my growth as a person.
Wow.
With that being said, I've made a few aesthetic changes. Now we do talk about astrology here and there. I'm in my fifth house Perfection year, which means broadly speaking that a big focus of mine is about my habits and my routines and the things that I do on a day to day that informed the big picture. And so a lot of micro changes have been made, but they're having a major effect. I'm getting outside more, I'm socializing more. I've gotten hotter, I'm eating better, I'm walking
to work. What crazy babes I used to live in my vehicle? I haven't driven in so long because I'm just like getting my steps in or whatever.
I'm going into gigs and stuff.
People who haven't known me my whole life think that I am rebranding interesting. Flex likes hardcore music. Flex is blonde. If you're a real one, you know I'm regressing. Yes, I'm just going back to my roots. I'm going back to whatever Flex between sixteen and twenty four was doing and liking. There was a stage in my life for two years where my hair was every color but natural. It was green, it was neon yellow. Yes, it was lime.
She might come back, she might know. There was a stage where I was touring the world, babe, being a DJ.
You don't know that, do you? You don't know that.
There was a time where I was on tour Groove in the Moon Skegs was performing. They said, come and do a guitar solo. Can I play guitar? I cannot? But I got on stage and did it anyway.
What do I mean, Skeks? Yeah?
I was living why because I was out and about letting life decide what was happening next. And it's invigorating and it's in infectious because I'm here to.
Infect people with the last I'm feeling infected. Let's get it.
Flexi and I have Instagram accounts also TikTok accounts. Mine is frooms with three o's on both TikTok and insta. Flexi's is flex dot Mommy. Is it the same on TikTok?
Not sure?
Ooh, interesting choice.
Anyway.
We take a lot of footage in the shooter. By that, I mean flex takes a lot of footage that I then asked her to tag me in on Instagram. So when I came across this following TikTok, it piques my interest because I thought this is something flex should employ because it would make me take more images of her. Please play the tape your friend out and about.
Do not give it to them for free.
Instead, treat it like a playing card. So I got this fire for you last night. This is fire.
What do you go from there? I'll love you this one, that one, then this one. I'm one this one for a bit. As will psychologically force them to take great photos of you, so that they have something that traue with and not only is as fun, but over time the whole frame group will have great photos of them. Candidly follow me from more big brain hacks.
Oh his name is It's Seth hank Issia on Insta.
The thing is I have just done this recently after a situation I experienced. I was at a launch party for a suit brand, very cool stuff happening, had a film photo taken of me and two other people, and the person who took it got it developed and then messaged me to say the photo is so fire, I'm not showing you yet, like I need to wait for the right time to drop it. Held this photo embargo. When the photo dropped, it was phenomenal, fantastic photo, just
captured the essence beautifully. Recently, as a documentarian, I have been punishing people, and I've been withholding, withholding the app sets. Talking to my best friend. We're at dinner, a lovely dinner, and I had, you know, devices out, had the digital camera, I had my phone out. We're getting zero point five flash, no flash whatever. I took these great photos of her, showed of the view finer so she knew and she knows she's my muse. I always had a good picky
of her, and I'm a great photographer. Hounds me the whole night for these photos. I said, I'm not sending them.
Should I? You serious?
I said, I'm serious. She said why, I said, why not? It's my pickI the whole dinner. She said, can I have the PHOTO'M like no. The next day she said, are you serious? I'm like, I'm serious, babe. You're not getting these photos until you step it up. I sweart, you did this to me the other day, And how does it feel?
It feels horrible?
Yep.
And yet here I am wanting to take more images.
And here you are having tooken none. So one might argue that my parenting style isn't helping yet. But I just feel like people have gotten too comfortable. You know how common it is let to have someone to take a bad photo of you. It's too common. Not me, not me anyway, suffer in silence.
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