Flex and Frooms Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast.
It is Flexing Rooms on Cada. We've heard the cliche chivory is not dead. I, in my personal experience would tend to agree, but if we zoom out into the macro, I would say otherwise. So I did some googling when did chivalry die. This all started because I was out with a friend on a friend date because we do go on those, and she called me handsome because we were laughing about how the endearment to women can be quite like I don't know, just yeah, kind of like that, like give me something.
With some grit, you know.
But then she called me handsome. We did some googling and it originally was used to endear women, so I'm like, this is right on brand, thank you. And then she called me chivalrous. Were picking her up, taking her out, paying for it, and then taking her home. I'm like, I am chivalrous. That was a chivalrous thing to do. And then in unison we said chivalry is not dead.
That took me to the internet Google rabbit hole. So first I was like, wait, what is chivalry, because like I thought it was something that men do to women right do to specifically city men part take in. After some googling, I found out that chivalry is very polite, honest, and kind behavior, especially but not exclusively men towards women. It refers to an out of date standard that should or should not govern relationships between men and women, especially
in a romantic context. Quite loosely good standards for male behavior towards people, specifically women. But the concept of chivalry came about when nights were around. It was a code for them as upstanding representatives over the kingdom to abide by. So it wasn't just for dating. It was how do they treat people? How do they discern who to fight with, who not to fight with, who to kill, who not to.
Kill, How to court, how not to court?
I said, babe, there's something here. There's fully like ten commandments of chivalry, Like it goes deep. But my point is chivalry died because of war. You say how, And don't be fooled because if you google what happened to chivalry they'll be like feminist skilled it.
It's not the feminess.
Bain believe us adam Ory died like a thousand years
ago because of war. So basically what had happened is all of these men felt really empowered to be living this upstanding life and behaving in a way that was aligned and very admirable, and they would go to war and they'd be like, oh, my goodness, we are the big dogs, we are the people who are doing life right, and then would come back really disillusioned when they realized what they were fighting for, which is often futile, and caused them to be really quite like sad about the reality.
And that's when chivalry died. When the Knights were like, this is not noble behavior. This is they said, we've we've seen it. This is treacherous. So the next time someone says chivalry is not dead. According to the Internet, it did die in one thousand CE, and we're in twenty twenty three CE, so more than a thousand years ago. However, there's room to bring it back, and we are lead by example.
I'm definitely seeing it from our conversations. Truly, I will say back in the night days, you know the C word, I'm not going to say it on it. And don't worry Mickey, Mick, he's panicking. I can feel the panic.
Next to me is it the word that Micky's mouth, the rude word.
Yes, this is the rude word starting with tea. That actually means in the night time, like when nights are around the sheath that they put their.
Sword in. People are so creative, seriously so creative.
You know.
I made a threat, and I was talking about how I've started to introduce romance into my platonic relationships because it's fun, right, It's fun to go on dates with your friends.
It's fun to treat them well.
It's fun when you accidentally send me eighty dollars into my bank account thinking that it was for Michayla's present. Yeah, And then I said, do you want it back? And you said no, no, you just get laster onto it.
I thought, whoa trust? The trust system is in full force.
Hold onto it. It's fun and funny. You know, you want to be the big dog, be the big dog you want to see in the world. And I think it does wonders because I think generosity begets generosity. But I also just like the way it feels to make people's lives easier. No, take it back, not people.
People I like. People.
I love him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, people I love But then What had ended up coming from this thought was that if it's so easy to be chivalrous, why don't.
People do it?
Can I make some guesses please? Okay, first guess is pretty obvious. I think many people in order to be thinking this. It's like when men stopped opening doors because women are like, I can do it myself. Yeah, And then obviously we have a thought.
And then we've had a little bit of.
A residual fear factor moment with thanks to me too, as we know you.
Say fear factor. Bring Joe Rogan in.
Talking about that the other day, about guys like being too scared to make the first real because we really scoot up. You just have spook boys. And now I would say we're at the forefront of this. Now we lead understanding that really getting a door open, getting a meal paid for really is the spice of life. So that's one theory. My other theory is that modern day life is hard and men have other priorities at all the ones I know adding men to their Spotify, but there's other ones in the trenches.
Look be the software you want to see. Because I started making playlists with people, I said, let me get in on this.
When did this become the riz ps. I look, I'm not quite sure.
But also here are my theories, right, I feel like it has something to do with building secular societies. So when you build or when you like curate nurture societies that are separate from religion, what also happens is that it becomes quite lawless. Right, All rules and traditions and norms get kind of pushed away or considered to be archaic or the opposite of progressive. Right, It's like so unbecoming, and so in deciding that we're going to live in these secular places, we've.
Left all of the good stuff behind. And also I feel like.
Bringing religion back organized religion, bring back dogma. I think that chivalry stayed dead as a consequence of cliches. I feel like people forget that cliches exist for a reason. Common phrases exist for a reason. We're all saying chivalry is not dead, and yet why is my hand touching doors as a woman. So what I will say is we can think of all the reasons why it's gone.
Let's think of a couple of reasons why we should bring it back.
Number one, I hate touching doors. I never touched it all with my bare hand. I also have sanitize you with me all the time, wearing a long sleep really yeah, look at me. I will never touch a door.
Yeah, this is crazy. That's number one clean girl era. Yeah, okay, get off it.
Okay. I've been coming out with a little bit of like savage.
Yeah, sage, what did I say to you earlier?
Mikayla, I tell you to shut there?
Yeah, he said it out.
So I love Michayla Floriano.
Yeah, we're obsessed with Mickeyana the best. Honestly, I love you.
I love you too, babe.
Let's want to be everything for her chevalry.
I think it also died because we as a peace people aren't really good at pro social behavior. Pro social behavior is doing things for people without the incentive of something being done for you in return.
And I think that goes into do you actually believe altruism exists?
Does it? Philosophy?
Altruism? Does altruism exist? If a tree falls and applace you?
Hear it? Added belonging and.
Yeah, this is twenty twelve trauma eat still so I feel like, yes, pro social behavior or the death of pro social behavior, the rise of what do we owe each other.
All goes hand in hand with anti chivalry culture.
Which is also, like you say about religion, every man for himself.
What's that called individualism Darwinism?
Yeah, I mean, but they ate with that because that's why we're here.
They literally ate too.
We're not ending on a you should or you shouldn't. Just know that this is the kind of life that I'm trying to live. I was with a guy the other day, yeap.
Need I stop there?
No, And we were like going around the city, like to all different venues, and he would open the door for me every time, and we were walking up a lot of stairs, would always wait.
For me yep. And I went to say, oh, you don't need to, and.
I thought, no, don't do that, because, as we know from all of my reading, men like to feel useful.
Is that what we got? It's a manipulation technique by me. You've been listening to The Flex and Froom's daily podcast.
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