Flex and Frooms Flex and Frooms.
This is the Flex and Frooms catch Up podcast. I'm sitting here in the flexing Froom studio and next to me is a Dell PC. Have I seen a PC since high school? No? I haven't. Okay, and this dell has blood or some other red substance splattered on it. As you know, I'm living in Squala Mansion. However, when I come to my place of employment, I want it to be clean, okay, and it's not. So Yeah, that's what's happening.
Everyone's like free crying for help and who's gonna say She's like, Hello, I'm living in Squaler mansion. It's not looking good. Bran need a What do you need babe? You want to check?
Nah? I want to learn how to spend money on myself. So yeah, watch this space more anden do to massages day. I'm gonna get one this week.
Do that.
I'm just too busy.
Shut up somehow I disagree.
That's one of the podcasts.
Keeter Flex and Fromes Flex and Firms. One of the greatest skills you can learn as someone who uses the Internet, namely social media, namely TikTok is to be discerning. I feel like a lot of young people wouldn't think they have a problem with fake news up until the creation of TikTok, because on Facebook, it's really quite easy to see when an article wasn't reputable or when the source wasn't reputable when it was opinion piece versus an actual,
you know, actual news story. But on TikTok, there's something about the way that people speak with so much authority and certainty and things they've never experienced, or when they frame their personal experience as gold standards, flex and from show exactly where you find yourself up and to think, wait, do I think that? Or is this right? In comes this TikTok creator called Dan Henchel, who has this amazing ability to, I guess, give us the most manipulative but
somehow helpful dating advice. I recommend everybody follow him now before we listen to what he has to say. Peah, play the tape, DJs.
This is how I make sure my exes never get over me. At the beginning of every relationship, I buy a big pack of birthday candles. Every time we share a happy moment together, I secretly blow one out. It's birthday candles. Blowing out birthday candles is a distinct smell that everyone recognizes. By conditioning them to associate this smell with our relationship every birthday they celebrate in the future, when they blow out the candles, they'll think about me.
That is powerful magnetic perspective manipulation technique that could possibly be used in the CIA.
This is the kind of manipulation. I want to see none of that everyday good morning texts? You know you know what they say when you're trying to instill some good behavior into someone, No, when you're trying to instill behavior into someone that you want, or when you're trying to form an attachment with someone in an early stage where the relationship is quite tumultuous and you don't know how they feel. You need to create a habit and
then break it. So let's say you get into the habit of always talking six pm every day, do that consistently for four days, and then don't reach out for five days. WHOA, They'll be yearning for you. They'll be like, what happened? Did I do something wrong? I'm really missing them? And when you come back in, you start the habit again like nothing changed. That is low level manipulation. This stuff incredible.
This is what we need to be working towards as women.
In the world, as women in STEM, as women in STEM and media. This is the level of manipulation we need to get to because we've been bamboozled for too long. We need to start making sure these things work for us, not against us. So clinical trial, we're gonna see birthday Kendles salt out nationwide and for good reason. If anybody tries it, let me know I'm not above it for science and then for the plot neither.
Thru meno through me boo, mummy, let smile. Listening to flex and rooms, I'm kata Flexi. I'm now going to tell you how to deal with the know it all. We all have no it alls in our life and it's really important to know how to deal with them, isn't that right, Brookie?
Yeah you ah.
I'm getting bullied in the studio anyway. You told us what was your technique the other day about saying you're right?
So when somebody tells you something that you already know, a fact, a new story, instead of saying I know it is polite and customary to say you're right. That did happen. You're right, I did see that. You're right, that was such a good party. You're right. I love that restaurant. I know, though it is factually correct, is impolite?
I love this. It's a little tiny loophole that you just put in the back pocket of conversation. I've taken a one step further, obviously and consulted Wiki House the one up. You're right, You're right, and I'm going to tell you how to deal with the know it all. This is super important. We've got no it alls all over offices all over Australia and they need to be dealt with appropriately, preferably not using HR because HR is not real and they have the company's best interest at heart.
Just remember that. Okay, here are a few techniques when you're dealing with a nod all. Number one, try to be understanding. You have to empathize because whether or not it's a personality disorder, the need for recess, you've admiration or arrogance, nod ales have issues that have to be addressed. So you just need to empathize with nodles. Okay, avoid the impulsive fight or flight response because you need to
understand that differences between people will always exist. Also, the route to all understanding is respect, so you need to show them respect when perhaps they're not showing it to you, which is obviously difficult. Number two, you must think first before responding, so as you know, we maybe want to say I know, I know, so you can think. You can deploy or your right straight away, or you can just take a seat and have a think. It's okay if people think you move slowly, except it because it's
better than aggravating situation. Typically, taking time to think about the situation might even in greet might even increase your confidence in dealing with somebody who is a know it all. So when you think prevents saying stupid things that destroy friendships, start fights, or create awkward situations, it does nothing to solve your issues with a know it all. And also being thoughtful gets you more respect. It's like people who
don't talk much actually come across smarter and cooler. Yeah, I can't relate, and number three lead by example.
They should have started with that one.
Loops. See, don't be afraid to say I don't know around and know it all? Well, what's happening with my voice? Can you hear that yeah, you know when you sometimes eat chocolate and then it like changes your vocal cords.
What's going on?
And I'm gonna keep it because I think it sounds cool.
It's sounding slimmy.
Is that have some water, babe? I will say, saying I don't know. You can also build trust by demonstrating openness, vulnerability, and honesty. However, I disagree with that point. I think you should not say I don't know around and all.
That feels like a trap.
I got to just hit them with a bit of kindness and respect.
I will say. One thing that doesn't get brought up a lot when you're dealing with someone that you don't want to deal with is just not having the conversation. I used to feel, as someone who encouraged conversation from people a lot, that I should give everybody a fair go. And what I found is that it usually lives. It usually leaves them feeling really understood and me feeling really activated. You know, so sometimes you just see the hidden with a oh, that's really awesome, and then leave.
I love learning more things about you to know when you're doing it to me, which is never because you.
Have no I have a lot of patience for you. But it's a good thing to have because you see in action, like you've obviously seen me in situations where I'm dealing with someone that I am an acquaintance with and I don't want to talk to you, I'm always really polite and fully extroverted, and then I leave. And then on the adverse, when we're dealing with someone who has a prickly personality, if I'm not being my most esteemed self, I will take the bait and be an animal. Well it's not hot.
I'm glad that you can.
Have got to learn to walk away sometimes.
I don't think I've ever seen you go full tropo. It's not in your wheelhouse.
I don't go full tropo, but I can hurt a feeling with very little effort. And that's the issue, because for me, I'm like, I haven't even gotten to my point yet, and I'm seeing the eyes of water, which I don't want. I don't want that.
Why are some people so good at that?
Crying on command?
No, making others feel the need to cry No, I don't. We'll come back to it. This is flex and frooms. We are physically in front of each other right now, it's such a pleasure. And if I lift my arms above my head like so arms are above, you will set on my left arm there is a bandage.
Not even a bandage, a bloody bandage with bruising and mottled skin on your bicep.
On my bicep, so on the inside of my arm. I recently had a procedure yesterday which involved getting my implanon out. Do you know what an implanent on is? FLEXI, please let me know. An implanon is a small plastic device. I would say it's three centimeters long and about yay thick, so very very tiny, almost looks like a vain thing.
Like a baby little rod, a little rod. Yeah.
What they do is they put the rod inside of your arm and it slowly releases progesterone. Progesterone is a hormone that people who ovulate get alongside estrogen, and it helps you. How do you say, like line the uterus or do something like that. And I am at the age now where I thought, I've had three implan ons, right, and you have to get them every three years. So I've been on this thing for many many.
Early ado I was an all coming up to a decade.
Literally, whoa, and sorry if you don't like talking about blood.
Who cares babies is about you?
I haven't had my period in about seven years or something yet, like I, it can stop your period in some women. And so I got it out because I just want to see is my body bodying? What's gonna happen? And I was having all of these conversations with my friends, like I went to the doctor obviously to talk about it, because she was the person who took it out. And I don't know, hand on heart a single person besides
someone in our team here at KITA. Why sorry, I didn't because Brookie is going to jump in and say that your own contraception.
No I'm not.
I thought you said you take the pill supposed to, but she doesn't remember exactly. So there's only half of a person. Because let's say Brookie takes it half a time.
Let's be real, we don't take it anymore.
Yeah, bo, he's not taking the conception. I don't know a single person in my life that takes contraception. M I don't know a single person with the ROD. I don't know anyone who takes the pill. I feel like that's bottom of the barrel. I don't know anyone in the mini pill. No, I will say that with my chest,
it's the bottom of the barrel. In terms of like what people deem, you know, people who don't want to take your interception, I usually find that the big pill is the one that like has scarred them more turned them off. So I want to discuss why is it that everyone is going off contraception. I say everyone broadly, everyone that I know, Miss Frimiani. So because I've been on this rod for so many years, I have found
it amazing. So in terms of my journey towards contraception, I'm just gonna could you pass down a bottle please?
Yeah.
Oftentimes on the Flex and Froom show, I need to check that the mouth is not mouthing too hard. I see my bottle, the Kleiner Strata water bottle keeping us. I see for hours. It's amazing. So I started off probably sixteen or seventeen on the pill. Okay, that's like, I feel like you're encouraged to go on it. The doctors had gone it. Maybe I think it was to do with my skin.
Yes, So when you when we had a brief conversation, we shouldn't do this, but for me and I talk, okay, okay, so put us in jail together, preferably this cells, you know, the cells we can annoy everyone. When Freeman asked me if I'd used any kind of contraception, I said no, And I said I wasn't surprised that she had, because when I was growing up, it was very Caucasian law to be sixteen and on the pill for skin. Yes, sixteen on the pill for skin. That was the law.
And I always thought it strange that for me it was the habitual thing, like what is it about the pill that was going to help you more than eating differently or a skincare routine or whatever it might have been. It seemed like such an extreme thing to do at that age, but it was like a a it happened. It was a trend, and I in my adulthood I thought, perhaps it just is maybe an awareness or not even awareness.
But you know how parents always think that you're more promiscuous than you are, or they think the worst case scenario. Parent's like I don't want a pregnant tink daughter. I always think it's that wrapped up in a skin concern situation because realistically there are other solutions. Maybe I'm being a hater.
Well, I will say there is some elements of truth in what you're saying. I was always very open with my parents about my activity. I'm obviously not in graphic detail, but like I.
Was a pretty good show. So I met this guy.
Like there was never any like shame or secrecy around that kind of stuff. So mine really was for my skin, but it ended up didn't work, like made my migraines worse because it obviously like wow, it changes your hormones vy Obby, the istrojen levels were wilding, and so I did end up going on row accutane, which we also spoke about earlier. Is that really even more harsh than being on the pill? I think it technically is if we're going from a pharmaceutical lens, like you can't go
in the sun. My lips at the U twel formal chapped to pieces to pieces actually like corners lacks the joker corners of the mouth. It was really hard. So yeah, I think so. As you know, I've been listening to
Human Lab podcast. Someone messaged me after I posted about him, saying that they listened to him to go to sleep and it's a great way to go to sleep because he very much like keeps a solid tone, has quite a nice voice, authoritative kind of voice, almost, which I feel like sometimes if I'm listening to podcasts and people are having a conversation, I'm imagining what I would say back, which I even do for our own podcast, because obviously I dissociate when I'm in the studio. And he interviewed
this doctor. I'm actually going to get her name, because I keep saying I don't actually name her, and that's not giving.
Free press is necessary in this instance.
Humanman lab fertility. So he was speaking to an American woman called doctor Sarah Gottfried, Sarah Gottfried, Saira, and she was dispelling all of these myths around the pill. She was quite flex mummy pilled. Actually, she was saying, yeah, like a lot of women, I just put on the pill at this really young age for all of these reasons that aren't necessarily helpful because the pill has all these other side effects, the.
Cure is not fitting the symptoms facts.
And I can't remember exactly what she said, but I recommend going human lab Sarah Sarah Gottfried, and I don't want to like make this a little well, I could be could be totally wrong. I actually remember, but like I don't want to give the wrong men in medical device. I know a lot of people out here might assume that I'm a doctor, given my and general way of speaking.
Down disposition. It gives how do you say.
Highly educated ten years of hex down the drain. I'm pretty sure she was saying that it was.
And if you can't paraphrase, want hear more about your experience? Yeah, I want to hear about you. I want to hear about paraphrase.
I paraphrase like exactly what she didn't say. That's why I'm worried. I'm not worried about I want to hear it.
Then tell me more about your experience. I want here about the pain levels, getting it invested, getting it out, Like.
Oh yeah, so this like actual trigger warning for this beer because it's gross. So when you get implanent on taking what for this? Like sorry, general, you never use a life trigger warning like blood procedure, insertion of objects, foreign objects. So to get the implent in, they put you on a bed in the doctor, they put local anesthetic into your upper arm. Mine is on my left arm, and I think they put it in the non dominant arm.
Then they put it they get the little rod and they poke cut a skin and then poke it in. Fuck only knows how they do it. I don't understand Brookie is squealing.
Shouting you like a piece of meat, because I guess it's how you do it. If I wanted to like tuck some garlic and some rosemary into it's just like that.
It is though. Yeah, so you kind of have to, like, as I said, I don't want to continue saying dissociating because I'm using it in jest, but you kind of have to like project somewhere else.
Yeah, is busy your mind?
Yeah, and then like obviously I've had it in and out three times, so then when you get it out for the first time, it was so again, No, I'm not even gonna say traumatic, but it was definitely an interesting you'd say it if it was now. I wasn't traumatic.
It affectively you physically negatively.
For five minutes. Yes, okay, it can be very like your skin encapsulates around it and form scar tissue. And so to get it out, there was some yanking involved. There was some like foot on the bed pulling?
Did she did? She grunt as she was doing it.
There was just like so you can't feel anything because you're under anesthetic.
Sound labor intensive.
Yeah, there was like so like wrap it up there, She's literally like leg up on the bed like yanking. Anyway, So this time I got it out. I'm currently not on contraception.
Guys, So do you feel differently?
Well, I got it out yesterday. Oh yeah, but like so just waiting differently? Do I feel differently already? I feel really excited. I'm in this stage of my life around like I trust myself and I trust my body, and it's taken me a little while to like I've gone astray in past times, like listening to my body for certain things, and so this is like a part of me, you know, getting a period. I feel like you get older and you're like, oh, this is actually
an indication of health. It's not this annoying thing like fuck, I don't know how to use a tampon. It's like I'm gonna have to go in. Do I even remember how to use a tampon? I don't think. So I'm kind of scared, like am I going to be a moon cup? Girly, I'm gonna have to give it the show, give it a go, so watch this space. I'm not sure I'll go fully down the period discussion route right now. Obviously it's quite a new subject for me, but I'm
just excited to be I want to use that cycle calculator. Lap.
You gotta just to be in on the beach flap error now, flap errand laidy.
I just want to get involved. But yeah, you really, you really do get me on the flop and say ear I want I want to feel things. Who knows I might be off it for six months and think fuck this, I want to go back to not having a period and having like regular levels. But I thought, fuck it up, sis, let's try something new.
Do it for the plot.
You're listening to Flex and Firms Kit.
The more time you spend on the internet, the more proficient you should become at not taking de bait. It's getting really boring to me to see the same batch of people riled up about the same things. And I'm not talking, obviously discussing grotesque social humanitarian issues. I'm not
saying that. I'm saying every now and then somebody would come on the Internet and say women need to, Australians need to, and everyone's like, and they get themselves riled up, your hair and they get themselves riled up and frustrated to no end, and it gets really annoying to see because the way that algorithms work is the more you engage with the content, the more the content it'll show you. When things arrive on your feed, you don't always consent
to that initial interaction. Right when I swipe and there's a little Andrew Tait video, I'm like, ah, and I swipe away because I just know he's gonna say something inflammatory that's gonna piss me off. What am I doing there? I'm protecting my peace. This doesn't mean that I can't comprehend that there is a world out there where people think in that way. But on the digital landscape, you have to understand that chaos and outrage marketing is a tactic and it works because you don't.
Learn interesting and how does this relate to what everything?
A skill that people need to learn is that chaos and outrage marketing works because you don't remember that you have the agency to pick what you want to watch and engage with. Right, so every time you see a Kardashian do something inflammatory like and then engagement goes up, clicks go up, retention rate goes up. Right every time you see someone say something misogynistic with no intention of
wanting to be corrected. Every time you hear someone misunderstand what feminism is, misunderstand what intersectionality is, and you're like, you're doing exactly what is required for them to keep
gaining traction on this conversation. Now, there is a fine balance between, you know, not excluding yourself from every difficult conversation, but also recognizing when and where it is productive and when you use the word productive for you to engage because it's the same people being like, I mean, it's such a scary place and I can never feel Oh, but you see the headline, you click, You see the MRA article, you click, you see the in cell thread
you click. Stop clicking, stop clicking, or get better at knowing when you are just a pawn in a marketing activity. Hard to know, but getting it is really not hard to know. It's not it's not because it's the same people every time, it's the same narratives every time, it's the same approach every time, and realistically, you're not in the comments, changing mind. You're in the comments spreading the narratives farther and wide when you're like, hey, frooms, check out this.
What do you make it? Check this out? Talk about it?
Whatever, whatever. And I'm just saying, there's a time and place. Let's figure it out together, because we don't get to the destination, which is independence and community, homeless and harmony, if we don't figure out what we're being played, and we get played every day.
And yet we take the bait timetime again, that delicious juicy. Have the Kardashians ever like gone into the food Space those lollipops? You take the delicious weight lost lollipop every time they go into the food Space, they had them lollipops. I swear they had the gummies, you know, those things that you're supposed to have, all the skinny teas and stuff like.
That skinny tea lollyto food Space's opportunity.
No, I'll stick to my chap of chubs. Yeah. I also think I don't want to see you know, like, how do I say this? I specifically don't go on certain websites despite my animal brain wanting to check out what's going on.
What websites like.
I'm not going to implicate because can you mouth it?
Well? Are you covering your mouth? I can't see, oh daily mouth.
I'll really try to stop myself from going on these websites because I know how they work. They're getting a little petuity gland firing because it's getting me fired up, and I'm also wanting to look at all these base things that are making me feel bad. But it's given me a feeling, and sometimes you know, in this six
sad world, you need to feel something. But yes, I try not to engage so far as I can, because I know it doesn't help my anything that I can do to help any causes, it doesn't come from feeling put upon.
Yeah, it's like find the balance between being informed, having the agency to expose yourself to media that doesn't automatically make you feel good, but also knowing that you can tap out and not every salacious, derogatory thing on the internet is permission for you to expose yourself to dangerous stuff. Protect your energy.
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