Tippy tapping, make the juice confused.
This isn't right. Let yay? Have you Friday?
Oh my god, I'm ready to go home.
I'm gonna lie.
It's okay, it's giving three pm.
Why don't you start lying? It's always I'm not gonna lie, not gonna lie. Why don't you start Why don't you commit? Do I say that? I? Yeah, see, like, not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. Lie.
I don't realize like we need to call each other out on what we say all the time.
No, but I like them. Yeah, yeah, it's how I know. My biggest fear is that if one day I was body snatched. So someone came in and said, we're using your body as a host's body and we're implanting somebody else into it, how would you know it's happened? Like, what weird thing could I say or do? They'd be like, no, something's off with this girl.
I'm so sorry.
I say that was my fault. We have to know because the odds of that happening are not small. We need to know what the signs are. Everybody, go to your local and get your fact straight. Sorry, that was.
Honestly anyway, we're also gonna be talking about you would.
Think you would sooner think I had depression if I said, you, like, what is going on?
Literally anyway, I'm gonna give you the rules for blanking on plants, not gonna lie. I kind of dissociated while we did this break, so I don't really know what's happening. Just like, this is a good case and point for if you're a UNI studying and paying attention your flex and firms say, this is flex and firms.
We don't often talk about like dynamics between parents and children, not because there isn't heaps of content, but I guess what better time than the present?
Yes.
Recently The New Yorker came out with this article entitled do I still have to be a good daughter? Even though my mum is selfish? And I said, this is a controversial headline, and basically what this section of the site is is a classic advice column. You ask a question, post the specific context, and then the person the author sorry, will respond And I think this is very controversial and there's some good stuff in here. And I read I'm in a situation with my mom who's in her late seventies.
I'm in a situationship with my mom, who's in her late seventies, and I appreciate your help. We used to be semi close, but since I've had kids, she is checked out of being a person I can count on. She's barely able to be a grandmother and does not make an effort to get to know my kids. She seems very selfish.
She's crazy.
Maybe she was always like this and I've never noticed until I became a mum. She's not an addict or abusive, just self centered and immature. She never asks me about myself, and when I do talk about myself, she mostly reacts by being anxious or confused. I don't know how she functions in the world, but I'm done making an effort
to spend time with her only to be disappointed. I don't see why I should call her every week and fly across and fly across the country to visit her if our relationship is going to be totally one sided. My brother, however, disagrees with me and thinks I'm being too hard on her. He wants the family to all get along together and doesn't see my side of things. Do I have a duty to be a good daughter
or can I follow my gut. This is from c. Brooklyn. Now, the advice given I think is super interesting, and I'm wondering if we should read out this advice on air and talk about our feelings on the podcast.
I think that's a fantastic choice.
We can at least read a little bit this author says. And this is a New York magazine author who will not be named because they haven't left the name. Yes, I tend to think about our relationship with our parents as having two phases, the one you have with them when they are alive and the one you have with them when they're dead. My god, what anything can happen While they're alive. You can say things that will surprise
them and vice versa. Incredible the way we're able to keep surprising each other even after we've written each other off. When they're dead, all you can do is live with what you did and didn't say. Now, that is one paragraph of a five paragraph response that I think will be better served on our podcast. Frames anywhere you get good podcasts, I really recommend four point nine stars, rated by thousands. It's a cult favorite. Unintended.
I love to learn, especially about things that feel good on my body. Now. I think I've spoken about this probably three times on the show, but it's never too late to hear more of this. I love my ears.
We'll stop it there. I'm happy to stop at that.
I love my ears being touched, okay.
Outside, inside, both. So I've never gone for your ears before, and I give you massage just quite frequently.
Honey, on the way home if I drive you, can you do a little touch.
It's very dangerous to be doing that on the roads, babe, don't worry, like, oh yeah, actually, given what you're about to discuss, we.
Won't do that.
But essentially I have learned because I was curious, since I am a big fan, what this is all about, and so I found an explanation that I'll get right now. Just one moment, Caitlyn, I apologize. So if you do you like when people touch your ears or do you like cleaning your own ear out?
Do I like it?
I prefer like my four arms delicately grace.
Oh that's fantastic too.
Well, it turns out if you're someone like me who likes their ears being touched, it's because there's a whole lot of nerve and inside your ear and it's connected to the vadger's nerve, not to be confused vagus nerve.
Yeah.
Oh okay, damn.
Because.
Yeah, I always thought of it as you know, related to you the other ve.
I do like the cleaning my ear feeling.
It does, well, you know what, stimulating them with a cotton bud, which we shouldn't be doing. Oh, I'll get to that, babe, is all sort of visceral pleasure and what dermatologists refer to as the each scratch cycle. So once you start it circle to stop. That's a bit of me. And they say that they've referred sensations from other parts of the body.
So like a.
Classic example is that people have something in their ear and it feels like something in your throat because I never realized this until I learned what an ear, nose and throat doctor is. But the person that does the ear, the nose, in the throat, tell me why he's doing all of them? Oh, she's doing all of them. They because they're all one connect. Okay, So this is why you shouldn't put an ear button your ear. I think we're all across why, but still some of us I
like to hear it. I get addicted. You know what I do sometimes, which is I do not endorse on air, is you know the like pinple picker, like rods, the really thing I've been known to like get in the ear with one of them, which is the worst you could ever do. But you've got to be super careful because your ear drum is really thin and if you break that, you can do irreparable damage.
So get the stuff.
You take the risk every time.
I mean, no, no, it's only when I'm I find myself. It's like when you want to pick at your skin. You have some people like just want to go to tilent their skin. Same sensation, very self destructive, almost almost in the hurting yourself realms. Do not stick a cue tip in your ear because it's like putting a plunge in the toilet.
Oh and that's what I say, you know, pushing the pood down.
I didn't know was that traumatic.
And you can also hurt your hearing bones, which I didn't know. Infection, bleeding, dah dah. The last thing that I want.
To people hoping to give us this information. I know, right, why why why would you create fear mongering for good reason? And yet we don't know.
Oh so, I'm gonna be honest, why did they create the earbuds? If truly them in That feels like self sabotage.
That feels like quite sinister if you think about it, Why would you put this tool in every store for a nominal fee of.
A couple bucks that anyone could anyone could get now, flaking on plans? We are all guilty of it from time to time. I don't think I know anyone with a one hundred percent strike rate in terms of showing up, being there getting the plans done.
I not since high school. But even then, YEA even said I can't.
Yeah, sorry exactly, you're a little excuse.
So I have decided that there are some limits to when you can on cannot flake. Of course, we have little tiny four y bulls in our lives. We're feeling really bad, we are coming down with a sickness like there's definitely real reasons why you can flake.
But here's what I think. I recently flaked on a plan with.
A friend due to benign Are you who's this?
This is me?
Oh okay, So I recently flaked on a plan with a friend due to benign extreme tiredness.
I wrote this a while ago.
I'm not sure what I meant.
I just remember I had been in bed all day. I'd gone out the night before. It had turned into a very late evening, so the next day I'd spent all day in bed watching after Sun. It was a horrible experience. I had to hate chessp as well, and a vanilla slice was horrible.
You're really going through it.
Man, I was going through it so hard, babes.
But I had my mum. This was a beautiful experience.
Essentially, what I did to give myself some time because sometimes I get decision paralysis when I'm really tired. And my friend said to me, come over, sleep over down the coast with me. It's a one hour drive. I thought, I'm probably not in the right state to drive, so I said, give me fifteen minutes to come back to you.
That was going to be a no no.
But you never know because I kept good being on the fence, and sometimes I do believe you were on the fence about plans because I knew it's going to do.
What was your consideration in this moment.
My consideration was it's an hour away in the car. I'm driving my mum's car. It's not my cast added element of you know danger, I'm not going to be a great hang when I get there because I'm so tired. But the other ones are. I haven't seen my friend in a long time. She has a sauna. Another one of our mutual friends was there for.
Sydney, like he has a sauna. You might open to me, please thank you?
Any other in any other.
Time?
Was this what day? Was this a Saturday?
It was a Sunday, Sunday? No, no, no, it was a Saturday night. Anyway, all I say, ise give yourself the fifteen minute window. Say give me fifteen minutes. Do you know some people say, oh maybe I'll come mayor won't. You got to tell people I might come, I might not. I will give you the definitive answer in the X amount of time. So it goes to the same with parties.
If you know two weeks out you might not be able to make it, say I might not be able to make it, but i'll tell you when I'm going to decide.
That gives you a window, or even a one week window, seems to make a lot of sense. The fifteen minute window. So if I was asking you to hang out through me, and you said give me fifteen minutes. What I would assume is that you are figuring out other plans to bail on because you double booked.
Potentially, which has been done to me before.
Yeah, okay, so that you haven't told us how to flake though.
Well I'm telling you the other one.
Okay, Well no that's how Well then yeah, you say hey, sorry, actually no, confirming I will not be coming.
So how you you agree to plans, and then moments before you're due to be at those plans, you reach back out and say, I've had second thoughts. Give me fifteen minutes to reconsider.
No, let's say the hang is in a week's time, right, No, let's say the hang is tomorrow and it's a loose plan. You on the day before say hey, I might not be able to make it, but give me fifteen anyway, whatever effect feel. Okay, the last limit.
But you need to know your limits.
So if you have an incompatible star with someone like they're a constant flaker and you need plans to be planned, you need to decide how much.
Energy you want to give them in your life full stop. Does that make sense?
Yes, it does. I recently made a new friend and I didn't really know what kind of friends we would be, because you know, when you meet someone new, you're not anticipating a lifelong friendship with them.
No way.
And so every time we'd make plans, he'd flake. But I kind of knew his vibe, like he's a bit of like a melancholy depressiana. So I was like, you know, you got a lot of going on, I'm not stressed. It got to the point where every time we'd make plans, they would flake, or he would flake, right, So then I wouldn't make any plans with him, and then he'd be really insistent that we catch up. And then he stopped being flaky, and then I became flaky in response
to his flakiness. So initially he might say let's do dinner on a Saturday, and Saturday would come and he flake. And so in response, now when he'd say let's do dinner on a Saturday, I would double book because I'm like, well he's gonna flake.
Then he doesn't flake precisely precisely, I'm confused.
So I said this aught to say, be mindful of how your behavior is impacting other people's behavior. Because I created a whole flake proof personality to accommodate for his flakiness. And now look look at where we are. Look at where we are in his flex and rooms on caterer.
I've noticed something in pop culture everyone, I'm doing that thing where I'm realizing art celebrities using their fans as tmz are celebrities using their fans as media outlets to push narratives that need to come across as casual, incidental in the moment, and not prescriptive paparazzi setup shots.
Yikes.
I say this because it was recently revealed that Timothy Schalla May and Kylie Jenner are in fact, in a real relationship. I say real relationship because it's not unusual that in the celebrity sphere people pretend to be dating for various reasons. It reflects on them positively. They want to promote a movie, and they know we love talking
about dating a bunch of different reasons. Now, Timmy and Kylie have been rumored to be together for about seven months now, a long time, and we saw or we heard that they went to Coachella together, but I don't think we saw any pictures, and they presumably got tacos or something before Coachella, and then a couple months after, we saw what could have been an AI photo of Kylie meeting Timothy's family, but the quality was so blurry
that it felt like it wasn't a real photo. Literally, And so had the Kardashians and the Chalomays been trying to plant this story that they are in fact a real couple. It wasn't landing with us because we couldn't trust the information. Lo and Behold. Beyonce, for her Renaissance tour, has a birthday event because it was her birthday. She's a virgo, to which she invited all of these celebrities to vip, from Michelle Obama to Zendaya, to Tom Holland
to Kylie Jenna and Timothy Shallam. And what we saw on the Internet were copious amounts of viral videos of Timothy Chalomagne and Kylie Jenner kissing. He's groping her, they're giggling, they're cackling. And it was in that moment the Internet said, we have no choice but to believe this, because what is more verifiable than a regular person documenting secretly this couple being intimate. They're not. Long after, people went on to say well, is it really secret though? I mean
he's looking right at the camera constantly. They're not trying to be hidden. Look, it's been seven months of hiding yourselves and planting these fake intimate moments in the media, and now you're here, dressed to the nines looking directly in a fans camera. This is multiple angles, mind you, multiple angles. Now they're upstairs, now they're downstairs, or directly
in frame of fans. And so then I said, this must be a tactic because if celebrities can no longer plant stories in the traditional spaces, because we are distrustful of those spaces, right, we don't want to hear a source, Sen, No, I don't want to hear a source, Sen. They have to figure out how to get the information to us in a way that we think is verifiable. A random
person with no relation showing us this information. Nobody believed that Taylor Swift was dating Maddy Healy until fans got images of them at restaurants, and then it was believable. So I reckon there is a strategy in seft launching or hard launching in an environment where you know you will be documented and letting fans break the stories because you get way more oppressed than if you just like planted it in Vogue or whatever. Right, clearly it was working. We're talking about it.
It's pretty like it was a very exciting concert for Beyonce, Like it was a cultural reset.
Some would say, absolutely got you got an ext President oh sitting in VIP.
Yeah you do.
Beyonce is the celebrity. Beyonce is the celebrity for celebrities. Agreed, And there aren't they very many. Prince was it was, Yeah, there are very few celebrities whose celebrities are like, I love you Gaga.
Maybe definitely, definitely our girl Beyonce.
Yeah. Anyway, you've heard it here first, you've.
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