Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast.
All right, sweety prize, it's your phase. We're back.
I've come across a dating rubric and I always love when you know conversations and topics are framed in a way that's easy to understand. Apparently there's a certain number of dates you need to be going on before you're exclusive. The number is higher than you think. And I'm so sorry to reveal this on a random Wednesday, but here it is.
This is Flex and Frooms. I'm Kita.
I was on TikTok It again and I found this really really interesting piece about IVF babies.
Play the tape, Mikayla.
My parents actually still have some embryos from the exact same batch frozen because they wanted two kids. The first two times were successful, but the doctor had extracted. I don't know how many, so I don't know how many embryos are left, but there are some of my twins per se still sitting in a lab. So tell me why. It has always been my desire ever I knew that to you know, grow up, get married, didn't plan on
getting divorced, but get married again. Maybe eventually and have my kids with my partner, but eventually also go through the implant process myself and give birth to one of my twin embryos. I just would want to know, especially if it was a boy, what a little boys sibling of me was like, and to bring that baby into the world. And I'm just so curious, Well I actually do it? Probably not, but am I so tempted.
Yes, I'd never even thought of that as a possibility. But that's going to become more and more of a possibility as egg freezing IVF becomes.
More And you can only imagine conversations about ethics and the TikTok comments.
It's just it's not going.
Well, that's not mine for it.
Would you give birth to your siblings and have it as your baby. Let's say both your parents have passed away, but you have their eggs.
Would you?
No, I don't want to give birth that badly.
Oh okay, but thank you, My pleasure, my pleasure.
Okay.
Somebody on TikTok called the problemed solvers that's with a D, has come up with a comprehensive rubric on how they approach dating to get to the point of exclusivity. I will disclaim this is it's someone else. I've never seen anything like it in my whole entire life. They go on to say that date one should be ninety minutes flat, no more, no less, and you should be checking for mental stability. Are they a serial killer? Are they someone who can hold a conversation? If so, maybe that's it.
You get in, you get out. Date two they call this operational independence. What restaurants are they picking? You know?
Is there a vibe?
Can we build on something? And then this is the kicker. At the end of the second date, you say to them, I would love to see you. I'm gonna let you plan when and where we meet up next. Now, this person goes on to say that it is a bit red hot, but weed oubt people who aren't serious about showing up for you or showing you good time, and aren't gonna follow up and aren't good at organizing. We
can neither confirm or deny. But this is not our rubric. Now, date three, according to this person's about sexual compatibility, hold on now, it's about now you've confirmed that you can hold a conversation. They're not a serial killer. Allegedly, they know how to pick a date, where to go, how to make sure it's in the calendar? Date three, sexual compatibility? Now date four to twenty one. This is where we start getting into communication transparency. Do we have the same interests,
shared values? Do we get along? Do we enjoy each other's company? And then only after date twenty one can you discuss exclusivity.
Okay, what constitutes a date?
What is a date? I say a date has to be a defined place in time. It has to be quality, one on one time, and I would say a date is more than two hours.
Okay. Can a date be a booty call?
No, you have to talk for at least half the time talk fine, a date can Now let's say a date can be a bitty call? Yeah, so okay, I think I think anything that you do offline together organized is.
A date, and twenty one of them until twenty conclusive.
So if we do a little bit of maths there, if you do a date a week, then you've got to be exclusive in five weeks.
Roughly four weeks.
I didn't destruct you. You didn't struck me as someone who.
Is four weeks?
What a date a week for four weeks is four dates?
Oh?
Sorry?
A date a week for my data week for a month. Wait no, no, no, no, no, no no. We have never behaved this stupidly in your whole life.
Well, I'm not like, I'm not prepared for you to be that daft, Like I actually feel uncomfortable.
Was that?
Okay? It actually crazy, it's.
Actually horrible being the person that has more sense.
You don't feel good for me either, I will admit. But that's to say we're all human in the room. Okay, I will say I reckon that. The general idea is that after three months you.
Consider being exclusive, but I think the four month approach is probably the more considered.
Yeah, while I don't agree with what the rules for date one, two and three are, I will say, if you're planning for longevity, twenty one dates or four months before exclusivity is reasonable because you know and I know that it's not all well up here for both of us, and we put on a good front.
Ye.
Okay, the mask will slip.
The mask hast a slip, and at four at that point it's off.
So if you want to stay, you've been warned. MUMMAE can I listen to Flex and Rooms.
Flex and fromes O cater.
Not everyone knows this. However, I actually did a degree in advertising at university. Yes, I went to university before realizing the hex step was the thing. I thought university was free.
Yeah, very confusing.
No one told us that that is really the biggest conspiracy.
You don't wun't see numbers when you apply for you I wouldn't even know how much it spit costs just I couldn't even dispute it.
Are some courses more sensitive than others? Surely?
Oh what I used to work at a university.
Oh my god, Okay, we talk to you.
We've got friends in nine places.
Yeah, I used to work in shit in admin. So there's three different bands based on what degree you have. So if you have an arts degree, you're in the bottom band, which is at least expensive. Yeah, and it's calculated based on your earning capabilities. Oh so arts degrees girls, it's cheap because you probably won't earn very much.
Wow.
But if you are going to be a doctor, you're going to swing scientific. You're probably going to mean band one, which makes you degree. It is going to cost more.
That is so much.
I love when you speak, Bob. How can we get you on the micromorphone obsessed with her.
That is the most backward stuff I've ever seen.
Yeah, but we live in a backward society. Did you or did you not see the maybolene mascar ad?
No, but I just saw it. Then the maybolene miscar.
Ad is a outdoor activation type. Okay, come degree, It was seven years ago, but you know.
So there's a video of like a I think it's like a train or a tube in London and it's pulled in.
It pulls into a.
Station to have its oversized lashes kind of swept back by a Mascar brush.
It's very meta.
It's like the telephone pole is a Mascar brush and then the train has eyelashes.
And this is twenty twenty three.
I was watching this video a couple of weeks ago that was from the eighties, and there was this guy, a futurist, talking about how the world is on track to get exponentially weirder and weirder and weirder, and we're going to collapse from the weirdness and have to just go back to the most base, sick, stale, hot together lifestyle because it just gets so weird. We don't have the capacity this is one of those moments if you haven't seen it, you type it into Google when you
safely pull over a scar ad. The video is amazing, it looks really great. But I had just revealed to the girls that it was Ai. I met CGI. But isn't all the same these days. But it's CGI, and I'm not alone in thinking that it was real. Most people couldn't discern the difference, which actually worries me quite a bit because feeling like we're raised as this stuff is happening, being children of the tech world, I feel like we should have a sixth sense.
The digital literacy is not literacy.
Not literacy at all.
I feel like if we can see something so absurd like a train with eyelashes putting on a scar and not think it's real, we are the perfect candidates for advertising.
Oh yeah, we were made for this. I'm ready induction at me, show us more.
I wish I could remember ads more often.
But what I'm a big fan of generally, and we don't do this enough just product placement. Because I don't know if you've seen any of those videos, but there's this one girl on TikTok who has this series of when like let's say in the Kardashians, for example, when Kim's in her bathroom and they're not promoing Kim's own product, She'll take a screenshot of like Kim's vanity and try and like zoom in on the photos and retouch and to figure out what products she's using but not actually advertising.
So like, what are people actually using generally? Or I love being in a movie and be like, oh, that's part replacement. If ever, you see a car driving and I see the emblem of the logo of the car placement, you're holding a phone placement, Why can I see what your laptop brand is placement?
And I love it.
I want to see more of that.
Well, that is flexing from's tips advertising onkter. I was doing my weekly scroll on TikTok believe it on and everyone. I actually only go on TikTok once every ten days. Really, yeah, for some reason, the algorithm you are.
Such a anomaly. Not an anomaly. What's the other word I'm looking for?
You know the word?
She's not an anomally she enigma, yes, and enigma. Just everything about the firm's experience, in not a derogatory way, is so extremely contradictory.
I cannot wrap my head around it.
Frum is one of the most online people I know who just managed to have like zero screen time. I don't understand the quirkiest person I know hand on heart who doesn't want to be seen or described as quirky.
It's just like every day.
But please continue, I yeah, don't need to defend yourself.
One every ten days.
Yes, TikTok exploration simply for content reason. And I came across this by a person called Dana Dozzy. That's two z's and two wives. On the end, she writes, when you discover that your nervous system holds the key to the way you experience reality, and being dysregulated means you will literally be shown a scarier world on purpose as a way your body is trying to ensure youse is
a wild realization to have. Regulating your nervous system is the first layer to building a life you don't need to escape from.
This should be taught in schools, but you're learning it now.
Me going on Google and writing what does it mean to regulate your nervous system?
Please?
Is it so?
What I got from this TikTok?
First of all, I thought it was quite revolutionary because I believe there is a fallacy that most of us subscribed to myself included in a previous time, that your life is dictated by things that are happening outside of your control and outside of your physical body.
Flex Please tell me what your findings are.
Okay, here are some signs of a disregulated nervous system. I think that might be quite helpful. Elevated or irregular heart rate, anxiety, agitation, nausea, feeling off, shortness of breath, feeling frozen or stuck, sweating, feeling on edge, feeling overstimulated. I think that paints a pretty good picture.
So high levels of cortisol.
So I haven't really done much research, but from all the things I've read over my lifetime, I think there are a few things you can do to that your nervous system. Number one, do not consume too much alcohol because this will spike your dopamine and will lead to some horrible days afterwards if we're abusing.
Before you get to point two and three, just referencing the TikTok, the fact that it says being dysregulated means you'll literally be shown a scarier world on purpose. Yes, that I find so harrowing because I've had a lot of feedback in my time that people think that I come across a little bit like toxicly positive or so optimistic about stuff like.
Just gonna work out, like everything's fine.
But I really feel that way a lot of the time, and like, I don't think that.
I am a realist or toxically positive at all.
But then, in contrast to this, if people are literally experiencing a far scary world, like if I walk into a room of people and feel quite safe by virtue of just that being my experience, and you walk into a room and feel nervous because you're like, who are these people?
I don't know them.
Of course you're not gonna validate my experience, like I'm not validating yours.
Can I say that?
I think people who think that you are that way are people that have just seen how colorful your Instagram is and haven't actually watched anything.
And she wears all black every day in a row for six months.
Everyone's helb encoded.
Yeah, everyone's like no, But like if you see.
Past the or black, just a bubbly girl, Yeah, I think as well.
The breathing techniques are very important. Often.
I've been finding myself in the last few months realizing that I haven't been breathing. I've been not breathing deeply, so I go I started breathing through my nose because apparently, O your mouth is bad.
Yeah, which I never did, but I know you're a mouth breather.
I don't think I am either, but I've just when I realized, oh, I'm not breathing, I think, oh, okay, I'm gonna breathe. I'm gonna do it through my nose because when I realize I'm not breathing other than go through my mouth. So that's the second phase of training. Learning about cortisol dopamine, how certain things that you consume
changes those chemicals in your brain is very helpful. Like I said, the realization for me that your brain and your body are connected, or so your gut is connected to your brain and you're oceans has been very helpful. Do I take that into account in what I eat and what I consume? No, However, it's always great food for thought.
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