Flex and Keita Inflex and Frooms Daily podcast Glad to be back, haven't gone anywhere?
We live here we do.
Coming up though this episode, I'm gonna say it's one of my favorites because we really touched on everything. What happens when you have two kids and your name one winner and one looser.
You won't believe it.
You will be shook to your core.
I'm also going to talk about a little experience, a little personal.
Experience, experience, what experience, you know what?
Earlier I was texting somebody and I literally said, I experience.
It's what is it? Experience? But like I c k, it was an experience? Oh like it was icky? Yeah, it was an experience. Come on now, if we want to make that, we can probably like that at TikTok. You just start trademarking. I'm a trademarket. Don't make me so.
Essentially, I was publicly shamed in a public forum on a public street outside my local supermarket. It was very upsetting, and ultimately it was exciting because I meant I had something to talk about on cater.
Being shamed within five kilometer radius of your own home. I don't like it. It's pretty heavy.
But as I say later the next day, I was publicly acknowledged the same five k radius so long. Yes, so everything's equal and everything comes back. It's a circle in life.
You win some of your loose. Let's get into it.
This is flex and Frooms on Cada.
We have been waiting for this one for me. Tell us all about it. This is my latest public shaming. It occurred on the weekend. Let me paint a picture for you. Flexi.
I go to my chosen supermarket or brand names. But you know, I'm more of a yeah, fresh food kind of girl.
Fresh food my people.
Yeah, and I've got all of my stuff.
I was going to go home mate dinner. I mean, what do you get? Can we get like a quick quick Elevani's.
Cucumber tomato, corn, chicken taco pack and some yogurt.
Nice.
It's trotting home in my green bag. So I'm looking good.
I'm looking environmentally conscious. I feel great, like I've slept a lot the night before, that kind of vibe. I'm walking along I leave the supermarket and I like, look at this guy on the street just as you're walking past, and then he kind of like does a double take at me, and he goes.
He recognizes a superstar in his midst He goes fromes and I go, I turn around.
I go, hello, Doll, Like I've been doing this thing lately if anyone talks to me on the street to go hi Dole.
I'm like, why, I don't know. You don't know what it is. I think I just am socially awkward. I don't know. Because someone goes like flex, it's.
Like it's not a high. It's like, oh yeah, what, I'm like, I don't know what to say.
I'm like, high, Dole. Okay, So anyway, I'm like, hi Doll.
He's like, hey, like what are you up to, doll? Because he's just standing on the street kind of.
Like you're on the same foot path. He's across the road.
We are on the same footpath. He's like literally cross paths like looked him, looked him, kept walking. He goes, I turn around. So now I'm halfway turned. I'm like, do I stay and talk to you?
Like? Is this going to make you walk with That's a tricky one. Yeah.
And he's there with a woman and she kind of looks a bit confused as to what's going on.
She's not familiar with the CEO. No, yeah, And.
It turns out she wasn't familiar with him either. So he has a beer in his hand two pm Sunday, no shame.
But he's on the street.
There is no bar nearby, so he's just got a random legal I don't know his name, drinking his beer and I look at him in the eye. His eyes are bloodshot. First thing he says to me is I'm so drunk. I'm so drunk. I'm so sad. I'm like, why are you sad? And then he goes, oh, no, no, no, I'm just so drunk. Hey, And then I go, oh, do you guys know each other? She's like no, she's working your dogs. So what she stops for? He's accosted
her and she's obviously stuck. And then he goes, oh, like i'd love your work, Like love your work, but selling out.
He's like, you got a stop selling out?
Don't sell out, like remember your freominess, Like, don't sell out?
Whoa this is very familiar. How is a stranger telling you to remember who you are?
I'm not prepared for this.
I just want to have a cool, chill day by myself. I'm having some alone time. I'm not on the internet today.
You come up to yes, I'm not clocked on.
Literally, he's a very on the clock discussion about my career trajectory. So when he said that to you, what was your initial response? Did you think he was joking?
I kind of laughed it off. I'm like, oh yeah, hah yeah. And my instinct or what I wanted to say, was like, what do you mean what part? But then I thought he's drunk. He's not gonna give me a good answer. And do I really want the opinion of this person that's going to say to a relative stranger that they've sold out. He's talking to me about my financial and career decisions.
I'm not in the mood.
And I say to this girl, I go, hmm, I was nice because I'm like, you think I'm a sellout. So I'm keeping face. I'm feeling upset and annoyed.
I walk away. This chick like comes with me. I'm like, how is that?
Like?
I can't believe that he said that. She's like, yeah, they said have a good day, but she doesn't know who you are, so she's just also like.
Well, what he's like, He's like her, Oh, do you know this chick? It's from since she goes, Oh, I thought you looked familiar. I've seen you before.
Yeah, so kind of be a stranger in your own suburb honestly jumps it everywhere. It's a tricky one. I appreciate that you fought the urge to defend yourself because the thing about human nature is that you will be misunderstood more often than not, and that really hurts my heart. But the more you encounter it, the easiest to deal
with it. I think it's really interesting when people think they know you, not you generally, but when just people, when they think their observation of you is the reality of you totally. In his instance, he was like, what I'm perceiving of you to be true is the fact I should pass that information. But realistically selling out, like you don't do that many spanos. I want to google
the definition of sellout. Anyone who's sacrificis artistic integrity in an effort to become more successful or popular.
Oh I'll do that, Sign me up.
Yeah.
The thing that I couldn't really grasp with, and I think you make a really good point saying that they're just seeing what they perceive and then assuming that that's a reality, is that if this man really knew me, if he was a true employee, he would know that I have been sold out from the very beginning. My first job, I tell you, often selling tint to the cayard. The tints worth one hundred dollars, I'm selling it for one thousand, five hundred.
Do you want to keep that in?
Yeah, so if you listen to this, I have a really bad habit of same shit and then being like, oh no, we actually we got to study it, say take it out incremining Now I'll happily stand by that.
It was a different time. Yeah.
My first job at a or my first internship at a radio station, I was making vines. Fernandos go get a job at Pedestrian. I'm getting paid my money out of the salary that Nike gave them. Gave them X amount of money to bring on an editor. So my health and fitness editor for Nike. Then I selling vitamins through my riding. Like I've been a sell it from the very beginning. I studied advertising. I understand the intersection between creating entertainment and selling products.
So then I to go on the bio babe, it actually is in my boot. That's incredible, do you know what I mean?
So, and also it was just annoying because I have had I feel as if I've had more opportunities to sell out that I haven't.
Can I can I ask a question. I've got my hand raised, because there is more than one of us.
Miss Willian. If you have.
Been a sellout from the beginning, what was what rabbed you the wrong way about him perceiving that in you, because then now it seems like what he said was a compliment, like he's perceived it to be a capital A artist, a capital C creative, when in fact you are a seller.
I think it's more that this person was saying it as if I've changed.
Oh, and you're like, I've been the same.
I have.
Literally It's like when people say, I don't forget where you come from, don't care who you are, Like I've known who I am the whole time. Like I'm not thinking that I'm amazing now, Like I've always believed in myself. I've always been the same. I've always had similar creative ambitions,
you know. So it's like it's quite discombobulating when somebody who is willing to stop a stranger in the street and give them career advice or like tell them, oh, don't do this, Like they're all the kind of people I want in my ranks anyway.
So it's offensive because he hasn't seen the consistency exactly. He's thought, you've been fashoned about for a couple of years and most recently got your come up, and now you've sold out, when in reality you've been consistently selling out. Therefore, he's not recognizing the amount of effort it's taken to maintain.
I understand absolutely, and it's just it's just not nice to get feedback on the street, like, yeah, I've never understood that. Maybe it's also because I feel like sometimes the kind of people that come up to people in person are quite This is not saying everyone that does it is like this, but are quite like overly confident.
And it feels like a bit of a word vomited thing to say to somebody like obviously you haven't really thought about it, because you obviously like me because you want to get a photo and stuff, and you're being complimentary outside of that comment. But it felt very much Australian culture. Tall poppy syndrome, like pulling me up into line in case I've become too successful.
Yeah, which is said a lot about your audience. Well, it's I'm hoping that I don't have these interactions. Like we've spoken about a couple of instances where you've interacted with your people and have been like, whoa, this is a very odd thing for you to say to me.
This is an odd way for us to be interacting. There might be a.
Dissonance between who you are and how your audience is consuming you. You know, because I could imagine, like you said, this person is a fan of you, so their intention.
Was not to offend.
So why is there a dissonance between what offends you and what they think will offend you.
Well, nine times out of ten, any kind of interaction I have with anybody is so positive. Like the next day I went to this local cafe and the chef came out and.
Was be like, oh my god, I love you and we have the nicest chat food. Question Mark, Well, I don't do things for free, so why should he? Okay, so just say there wasn't a connection. There was, There wasn't that deep.
This is flex and frooms on Kada.
There was a man that in nineteen fifty eight had two sons and he decided to name them Winner and Loser. So the craziest thing, are they dead?
Like? What is the solution? Not the solution, but the like the story about their lifetime? Did one of them grow up to be a winner? Want a loser? Or do we do not have that DARTI yet because they're fifty five. Yeah, we have the data.
They both grew up on the grounds of the Wagner Projects, which is in New York lower socio economic area. Their names never attracted much attention or ridicule among the other children in the neighborhood.
Loser, I find it hard to believe.
Yeah, I don't know, weird, But Losers later said as a child, you don't know it's a bad name, and later in school everyone knows you, so it's become normal.
So yeah, a lot of people probably think it's like a nickname.
Yeah.
During with his distinctive name Winner, Lane should have achieved a lot, but exactly the opposite turned out to be true. The exact reasons for this can no longer be determined today. In any case, he went off the rails quite early because His criminal career started at the age of nineteen when he was arrested for aggravated result. Five years later,
he was found breaking into a house. Over time, he did thirty crimes or offenses, including all of the different ones that are quite bad, even including auto theft.
I haven't seen that bad. Of all the crimes, I thought toft the coolest one. It's the coolest theft.
But around this time his brother actually received His brother called lose E Lane, received a scholarship for a prep school in Connecticut, and then he joined the police force in nineteen eighty four.
So that's what's happening. Loser overcompensated little to his name. Winner was on an invincible high from the jump. Winner said, I got this. I'm destined for whatever I want to do. I'm going to win.
I love that so much. Winn A Lane and lose E Lane Laane makes it ten times worse, no better. Those are great names. Win a Lane reminds you of this train I.
Saw on TikTok where it's like, what were to be good names if we didn't know their preconceived meaning, Like allegedly great name.
Yeah, that's a really good point. Allegedly serendipitously. Oh stunning, Yeah, Sarah, for sure. Maybe that's what remember that trained a while ago.
Like Dave is short for day for it, So I love it.
You're listening to Flex and Firms on It's time.
I'm feeling congerial and feverish because I get to speak about Love Island. I don't want to bore you with the specifics of this character's name.
Character. That's to humanize it. It's very dehumanizing from you a contestant. Contestant two c words. Okay, hold on a second.
Yeah, I don't want to boy with the specifics of like their individual couplings. But I was trying to think of what I'm learning as I'm watching it, because I do like to tell I do like to tell people that Love Island is like a anthropological sociological thing. If that's the case, well what am I learning as I'm consuming it?
Side note, it is a.
Lot a big investment to watch the show full on. It's like once a day.
Complete listening to Caita for this is what I'm saying.
How are you gonna do daily Flex and Rooms and the podcast and Love Island and then go to work?
It can't happen.
I think again, stop going to work.
Okay, so what I've learned so far, bear with me, please and see how this fits on for size.
Don't knock it until you've really thought about it. Okay.
So Love Ireland is teaching me that scarcity and fewer options is the perfect breeding ground for love.
Are you asking my opinion? How do you feel about that statement?
Completely agree? I completely agree. It is Make no mistake. We are in an era.
We use that term often. We this is an era before off. He said, what do you say, I'm in my like shallow era. I did say that.
Yeah.
I think it's a lie, but it's a point.
Think.
Yes, I'm over the microphone spitting my spittleer's on your face.
No.
Absolutely, It creates an environment where you find somebody because you don't have any options. It's like when you're at McDonald's.
You know.
The decration for this, spanno, we have to start post cost, come to the check. I don't even know.
I'm McDonald's hundreds always does come with checks, so I'm happy to pivot.
Yeah.
It's like in the olden days when you went to the dance and you're going to stay with your partner for however many years you.
Speaking from experience, remember that TikTok let someone comments. We posted a TikTok and somebody commented and said, they're older than I thought.
It was. But this is the point.
I know that when we talk about dating and romance, people make the observation that there are too many options. But I don't think it's that. I think too many options and scarcity is not on the same spectrum. I feel as though when people have too many options, they think that all the options are for them, which is untrue. But when there are a few options, people take the time to figure out how the options could work for them.
It's a different approach.
So in Love Island in particular, this year was different to last year because last year, each contestant had to pick who they wanted to couple up with.
This year, when they.
All arrived, the publics picked for them, and immediately the majority of these couples tried so hard to make it work. Of course, because they were like, we've been chosen and because everybody has a couple, we don't have any options, and I would rather be with you than be alone. There was this one couple in India and Kenna. Two weeks they did not kiss, and we're both convinced.
That they had to try action for each other.
Hmm, this is the same left Alan people are rooting in these communal spaces and you can't even get a kiss and every day doing.
Like, you know, where do you think this is going? Do you see it? For me?
Even when all the signs were saying you two do not like each other, just the fact that they've been paired together and had no other options was enough to make them fight really hard for it. And you might say, flex are you advocating for arranged relationships?
I don't know. I don't know if.
Your parents arranged for you to be in a marriage and it actually meant that you'd be happily ever after, but you know that at the time, would you push against it?
What's Liz trying to pick her husband for me?
For?
She already does that. She'll go that, the doctor will wars.
I saw this really lovely guy, really and she's sweet like that, though, would you ever she needs to increase her taste for me?
I feel like she's like she sees a tall person. She's like, look, he was so tall. My dad always since men are way more attractive than they are. It's always a good book. And Teller shows me his Facebook what what is that?
What is that? Flex?
And a while ago I got a DM from a woman saying, absolutely loving the Flexing Firms past. You can get that on iHeartRadio or wherever else you podcasts quick plug. She goes, absolutely love the podcast. And often you talk about things and you relate things to other things, and flex sounds like she doesn't get at it. Yeah, And I thought that's very unusual because I have feel as though I'm the one that's not getting anything.
Yeah, I feel like I understand you very well.
But then examples were made where I was like, yeah, I guess you're right.
For the example, you will talk about something and I will relate it to something else entirely, and it makes complete sense to me in my brain. But you don't get it because maybe we don't have the same brain.
But you're making it sound like you're drawing a very relatable conclusion for what I'm saying. But you'll say I'll say something like don't you think it's really amazing when you get great service at a restaurant? And you'll say yes, It's like when squirrels go and find nuts and they hide nuts under the leaves.
And I'm like, yeah, okay, I think so it's true.
Anyway, she said that it could be something called synesthesia, and she said she ended the message saying, and I'm a doctor, so I would know. And I thought, I love that confidence, lady.
And essentially I feel it's a diagnose over the internet to someone who isn't your client.
Bet Alas maybe is quaking. I do trust her.
Cynthesia is essentially a fancy name for when you experience one of your senses through the other. For example, you might hear the name Alex and sea green. We might read the word street and taste citrus food citrus fruit.
We did talk about how Billie Eilish and Tear The Creator and Forrell also have synesthesia where they can see music as color, so songs sound yellow or blue or.
Green or red.
Tile Creator in his infamous song I f and Hate You, says in the intro, can we add some more.
Color like yellow? And its producer understands.
Ah, interesting to see your community it is, Oh yeah, the thing. I don't want to call it synesthesia because I feel all those people it's considered genius musical. I don't know how they're experiencing it. I just know that I experience it. For example, we are talking and we talk about something specific, and I'm picturing this street in Mount Waverley where I grew up.
You've lost me already.
Like sometimes I'll say things and in my mind I'm picturing a street that's not at all related, like a very specific house on a street no relevance to me growing up.
It's just somewhere where I'd.
Gone past a lot of times with a certain phrase, have associations. I thought I was totally alone, Like I hadn't posted about this before because I thought it was so out of the box.
I got so many.
Dms, so many yeah people saying they had the exact same thing, each.
As confusing as the other, because I'm thinking, we're talking about pineapple and pizza, and you're thinking of Mount Waverley.
What's happening? And then often what happens.
Is that you express these thoughts and I'm like, okay, but what I'm not quite understanding is the doctor who messaged you, does she understand what you mean or she just recognizes that because I'm not understanding you must have synesthesia.
Yeah, it's hard to know because I don't know if she has synesthesia.
Did you understand when you got responses of people saying, this is what I picture when I speak.
Did you understand? Yes?
WHOA.
So another added layer is people will message me saying it's when I orgasm.
When I orgasm, I picture as we spring anent, what's going on? Freaking?
I picture like a specific street in my mind, or I picture a particular place. Someone said, when I was studying, I used to picture this round about near Melbourne UNI, completely unrelated.
I went to Deacon.
So people have these weird associations with streets.
But picturing them and then what happens.
Just absolutely no context, is just in their mind and they can't get it out.
It's interesting that you are so self aware of your body that you know that it's happening.
I think because it's so random, because it's like it's like it's a feeling. It's more than I'm just picturing a street. It's it's like you're there, but you know. But and this is what a lot of people agree with me. It's not like you're doing anything there. You're just picturing the space like you're like omnipresent in it.
I theoretically understand what you're saying. I just can't relate. And because I can't relate, I don't know what a process is information. No wonder you look glazed almost speaking.
You're picturing that one street.
A lot of people were saying it's to do with their orgasm. Prenut, post nut, midnuts. So these Did you google this and see if there's a correlation.
No huh.
Someone said, I have pre nut visions of roads. Also, mine is a tree lined street and I'm kind of rolling down it slowly.
I've experienced it for years.
Someone else said, no matter how hard I try not to, I always think about the Adelaide public trains, specifically the city to Seaford Line pre Nut, visualizing them and hearing the station announcement. Someone said, pre Nut is Camberwell Arcade, pre Laurent Bakery, and I always think of a lane from Seinfeld when I'm putting on socks or tights. Then the last one, the last one that I'm going to read out is frooms. Oh my god, the synesthesia thing.
I thought I was alone. Pre Nut always pictured this park near my old house, but from a very specific angle, which is the exact same as me, and I get it with the other random mindless tasks. Brushing my teeth equals Elston wick Macker's another plug and I completely, I just fully understand what they mean.
Do guy, do you not want to say you have synesthesia that because it seems like you and all these people have the thees.
I don't know if it's just I think it's more of a memory recall thing that the memory wise are freaking out rather than senses, because when I'm talking, I'm picturing things in my head.
You in an office, huh hmm.
You're a special one, something that an alien would experience, wouldn't you say?
Don't want to give you any ideas give away my true identity.
This is flex and frooms on Keda.
I don't know how to say this about coming cross as it being offensive, but I'm just getting bored of am I the assholes?
Because it was either.
Completely deranged, rude people sending in their grievances or people who hadn't done anything wrong and we're letting guilt eat them up. And I was like, I didn't need they need to contribute to either of these narratives So I was trawling reddit looking for other forums that we can siphon content from, and I found this subreddit called too Afraid to Ask, where, like it sounds, people ask questions that they're too afraid to ask in their general environments.
Super cool, right, It's very juicy.
But I wanted to start light because there are some very controversial submissions, but this one is quite simple. How do I tell my girlfriend that she looks worse with makeup on? That one's a touchy one. Let me just read it out. The title says it all. This guy says he hates the barbie doll completely fake look and that they're just not attracted to heavy makeup at all.
He says that if they're going to a play or a concert or an important event, that he totally understands why makeup is like necessary or encouraged, But his girlfriend does it every occasion, corner shop, like going for a walk, the gym, the makeup's going on. He has expressed to her how he feels about it, but she's mostly dismissed it as just another like cute, uninformed opinion of a guy.
Like she's not taking it very seriously. His issue is that she's not taking him seriously, and she's not taken to heart either, so it's kind of neutral, like it's the point is not getting across.
So he says his issue is.
That she genuinely looks better without it, and it might be due to apple her application. Like he says, her face loses all contrast. It looks like a white sheet. It's not hot, it's not sexy. And he's at the point where he doesn't know how to tell her this without her thinking that he's saying that she's ugly.
Yeah, because she sounds like she wants makeup on them all the time.
Exactly. I don't want to.
Put words in her mouth, but sometimes it could be that you feel like you're not pretty.
Without it, exactly.
So, even before I've gotten to the advice section, he's made a quick caveat a quick disclaimer. Oh, we figured out the difference between this last week. I think it's a disclaimer. And he said that a lot of people seem to take this thread the wrong way, and I can see how that happened, given the way a word at the title. I do not control my girlfriend's actions, nor do I intend to. She's free to make whatever decision.
She wishes that being said communication is healthy. I'm looking for advice on how to be more delicate when explaining my point of view cool.
I'm a quick one liner. What should he do? How should he approach it?
I've been on the receiving end of a you don't need to put makeup on to go to the corner store kind of comics founded.
The same guy who told you to take off your cool sandals to go to surf diving, ski and get thongs to a wedding.
It was, yeah, not sprusted.
I don't know, because we've spoken about this as well. I get it when someone's making stylistic choices that they cannot make that are making you not attracted to them.
I would say, just try and.
Bring it up, just say I love it when you don't wear makeup.
I don't know, it's hard. I think you just got to mind your business with this one.
I feel like the fundamental fact is that people are entitled to make whatever stylistic choice they want to do with their vessel, and a lot of our creative choices with what we look like are very personal and half the time born out of insecurity. But the other half, of course, you feel attached to that representation of ourselves and you've already dropped hints, so she gets it.
You just have to let it go.
I really do think like if I was dating someone I didn't like the genes they wore. If I've done a one two one two brought you, you know, a nice pair few birthday don't want to wear it's whatever, true, you've got to get over.
It, exhausted your allocation of changing.
Unless the makeup is a scapegoat for a bigger issue, We're like, I don't want to data anymore. It's the makeup that is throw me off, then that's a different thing. But if it's just she looks better without it, then just deal with the one hour a day you've got to see her in it.
Yeah, that's so true.
Actually it's off an escape goat for a bigger issue in the relationship.
Anyway, I love this threads. I'll have to find one for next time.
I like this.
I don't stick stick with your own threads, Babe.
You've been listening to the Flex and Frooms catch up podcasts. For more, tune Indicata on dab or check it out right here on iHeartRadio.