Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast.
Oh Sweety Pies today will be full of nonsense, but you'll enjoy it anyway. We've had a listener DM that's talking about how Australian men suck. This is a direct quote do not us was on us, but I might have said it in my time. I wouldn't say it in my time, I promised miss you already enjoy the potty.
You're listening to Flex and Frooms on Kita.
Do you reckon that restaurants and pubs should be child free?
Yep.
It's very interesting that we start this conversation with just a simple question because you might not notice about me, but I like children a lot.
I like babies a lot. I like toddlers so much. Children.
When you get to a back like the seven six to six to eighteen, bool don't really do it for me. But between zero even in the womb, from in the womb to about six, I'm obsessed with them. They're the most smart, creative, inquisitive, cerebral people to ever exist. The amount I can learn from having a conversation with a kid. And also I recognize that I'm a bad person around kid.
I'm asking for consent. I'm assessing if they're comfortable, I'm being mindful of like the words I'm using, if they understand, like, it's just fantastic. And I still don't want kids in pubs and restaurants. I still don't want them around. I really feel like it's not just kids and adults. I feel like certain lifestyle like life milestones or the age group you were in, should be separate. I don't even think eighteen and thirty five year old.
Should be in the same venue. It's weird.
You disagree for me, Nah, I agree, it's weird.
It's not great.
We had a listener, dear must off the back of our discussion about Splendor. We both went and we both mused and marveled. I noticed the child population was hefty. I know, I don't have the stats, but I would say about fifty between thirty and fifty percent of the attendees were under the age of sixteen.
No, babe, that's a gross overestimation. I'd say ten percent.
And even ten is too many. Either way, it was too many kids for me to be noticing kids constantly. Yeah, it wasn't one or two artists vip babies.
In the back. We did have a bit of a ticker.
Yeah, there were kids. I would look left, kids look right, kids look left, kids look right. Anyway, So Sally dmd us on flex and rooms ig and asked us to read this article from the Guardian. Leading quote is I
don't come here to enjoy other people's children. So we've got Martin, who's the owner of the Whippet in a boutique child free restaurant in York, and he says, being in the industry thirty odd years and also out shopping out in public places, how parents view the responsibility of children and how that has changed is quite mind blowing. It feels as though the kids are now the responsibility of everybody all the time.
Boyd continues.
None of the demands were particularly outrageous at his child free place. But the sheer volt apple juice with water in it, baby chinos. Heat this up and not too much. Remove the mushrooms, the onion, the salt, the pepper. Then there was the glaring at people who swear, vape or give any other indication that they are an adult in a pub. And this is also interesting because last week we talked to a listener who was at a Lizo concept and he said that because it was an all
ages concert. When he was in the mush, there were other parents policing what other attendees could or could not do in proximity to their kids. And this is this is a chill gig, this is an all ages mush. It's not crazy. And yet it's like, if you don't want someone vaping near your kid, move your kid. Facts like, are we not.
At a gig?
They're using their child as collateral to be parents. So ray, sorry to say it, but you are the real problem.
When I say kids and adults shouldn't share the same spaces, I feel as though it sucks for the adults I have to be with the kids. They call them parents, you know, like it's not fair that they be ostracized from certain spaces because they have a kid. That's not fair and that's prejudicing the wrong reason. But it would make sense that venues be better equipped to handle children.
And we understand, I mean a lot of restaurants understand their core demographics, a lot of pubs understand their core demographics. Why don't you create a system where it's not a blight on attendees to have children here.
Exactly, a little crash, a little play area.
Our celles do that kind of thing pretty well.
Yeah.
McDonald's has the play.
Area I had. Maybe do they still have them?
Yeah?
I think we're just living in the inner city bybe Oh, we'll see.
Do kids not live in the inner city?
Hopefully not?
Hello, love one.
We had a.
Listener DM and this is not what I said. But she wants to know you Australian men suck.
We'll see this is okay through me wants to.
Get ahead of the narrative if she doesn't want to cannibalize any of her future eligible options. So she needs you to know that she's not the one who's inferring that Australian men suck. Because I love she wants to be on the right side of history. However, I love all men, not all men.
I love all of them.
Yeah, but we did get a DM from Eve.
If you want a DM, if it's flex and frooms on Instagram voice mem I preferred. But if you're more of a text based specialist, then do that.
She writes, Okay, flex and Frooms. I'm a longtime listener, first time messenger. I absolutely love you guys. I'm from the UK and moved to Australia last year. Oh oh, sent most of my time in Melbourne hoping to casually bump into one of you someday.
I was wondering what your thoughts are on Australian men. This is a very terse topic.
Myself and a couple of brit friends have found it so difficult to date due to perhaps a cultural difference in how men behave over here.
For example, me and a friend had.
The same experience of going back to a guy's house then them implying or expecting us to leave after seven and Ozzie girls who's spoken to say that's normal for them and what they want?
Question mark?
Question mark.
The men give off such a nonchalant energy, oh my god, triggered no sense of interest or excitement. Just to clarify, I don't want to generalize, Thank you, queen. There are good guys out there, of course, and British guys are certainly not all angels. All right, love, have you had experiences with non Aussies and all right, love.
My culture. Have you had.
Experiences with some Aussies or non Aussies and have you seen a comparison.
It's not often I would like to default to a man when asked a broad question to me. But I would love to have a census of this directed at Australian man to see what to see what the issue is, or to see what the contradiction is, because.
Surely if you're a straight man, you're interested in a woman.
Like like, no, I'm trying to say his, let her talk, let her cook?
Why may he not acted interesting?
Can I say a few things?
And I I hate to paint everyone with a broad brushstroke.
Yet here we are, But yet.
Here we are this nonchalant energy that people are rightfully so claiming to have experienced with Australian men. I would say, Australians very nonchalant.
And at what cost?
And at what costs?
And I think often what Australians are struggling with is you're getting a taste of your own medicine and you don't like it.
I don't really have experience with non Australian men, having grown up and living in Australia.
However, we have a special guest in the studio.
That's true, me saying Australia is not multicultural.
She's like I don't have an experience, but yes we do have someone who has dated in the wild.
Yes, Sophie, So we welcome to the studio Kyoto team.
Hi.
Sophie does our social media In case you're wondering, what is this third sometimes fourth voice that pops oh yeah, often.
Laughing in the background.
Yes, no, Hi, I've just moved from New Zealand and experience I sing a little bit of this Australian dating culture.
Tell us everything, you know.
When I saw the.
DM that came into the page about how Australian men and nonchalant, I could not agree more.
They stuck? Can you put it politely?
I feel like I don't want to get stuck on the term nonchalant because we might not all have the same meaning of it.
But so if you had to pull that out, turn one.
Word into forty five et agreat, what is the nonchalance you're experiencing?
So I think with Australian men there just doesn't seem to.
Be the care factor.
And I don't know if this is because of the dating world in general, how there's just so many options. But I feel like you come to Australia, maybe you meet a guy, maybe it's on a dating app. Maybe it's out you go for a little drink and then there's just not They're like, you know what, i want to put in the effort here. I'm going to try a little bit harder. I want to I want to do the chase a little bit. They sit back and they go, yeah, it's fun, Like, see, maybe should we
maybe do that? No, tell me what we're doing, want me like put in the f There was this guy I was talking to on a hinge. Yeah, no, okay, multiple roastings could occur, but we'll go with this one exchanged one or two messages. I replied to a message and he just goes cool, thumbs up, but hush, and he goes, well, I'm not here for a bloody pen pal.
That's rowing.
I am scarred. I'm not trying anymore.
He said, listen, less talkie, more touchy.
So okay.
And is it different in New Zealand.
I would say New Zealand is relatively similar to Australia. New Zealand there's almost more this lad culture, which I do see a little bit in New Zealand where all the lads sort of stick together.
If a couple of the lads.
In the group have girlfriends, then they all will have girlfriends at the same time. If one of the lads is like single and then a couple others become single, they're all single.
They stick to each other.
It's almost like, honestly, oh, solidarity, yes, go anywhere else in the world. Do you go up to Europe like you were saying, or in America and there's so much more forward in a bar that will come up to you and be like, hey, can I buy your drink? Neither once in Australia has anyone. Maybe this is just me ask me if I want a drink in a bar.
The only time everyone's saying, don't tress.
You're gonna say, the only time a drink's been bought for me when I was underage.
It's not really are worried experience.
I've experienced what you've experienced. But in my earlier stages of dating. I think it changed when I got older because I was just far less. I mean, we all have we have different energies in the room. I just feel like generally people already perceive me to be hard work, so nobody who's going to be nonchalant really is going to try and if they do, I'm like, it's not it was never going to be u king. It was
never going to be you. So I think there's also that I feel like part of the Australian and biproxy and musical and charm is being really agreeable, really approachable, a good time, casual, down for a laugh, and I'm not giving off that energy in the same way I can be all of those things. So I think I'm being approached with a different energy. Let's like you're out in like an Australian bar or whatever, you know exactly what I'm talking about, where people are peacocking in this very like.
I'm one of the girls. I'm one of the lines.
I'm just so casual and lay back and I'm like, let's do a Sean and whatever and don't talk to anyone at any time and no topic is too lost bar for me, it's Australian cool girl pandemic and Australian cool boy pandemic. And if we don't know what that looks like, imagine being at a year five prom or formal and all the guys are to the left and all the girls are to the right, and when they
eventually join forces pretend to be each other. They all kind of devolve into this like one archetype of person outside after nine pm, I love music, I love I love drinks, and then before you know it, it's two am and you start getting desperate, getting against.
The issue with issue. Bye. You You're desperate and directionless.
You have never in your life since very sure.
In that closing statement.
Flex and frims on Kidis.
In case you thought the Internet has matured out of death hoaxes, you would be wrong. There's a has been some would say internet sensation. Lil Tay popped off around twenty seventeen and twenty eighteen. Her whole shtick was being a really rich, rude baller twelve year old would come on the internet, swear, throw money around, wear big jewelry, just a hard watch because you kind of like, don't say that word, babe, don't say that word, and we'll just start fighting the internet.
That was the whole brand.
So she kind of like cash me outside girl.
Yes, baby antagonist, that's exactly it. And so she disappeared around twenty eighteen, went into obscurity. That's just kind of how it goes, and nobody ever thought about her because it was a blip in the radar of the Internet until she skyrocketed back to fame in about August twenty twenty three, when she was pronounced dead via Instagram. Yep, everyone's like, oh, that's so sad, like Lil Tait has died. Haven't heard anything about her for a little while.
Strange.
Immediately, people were skeptical because her kind of stick was a bit like troll ish. She was a troll on the Internet. People were kind of like, oh, this is just a ploy to garner some clicks and some interest for her big comeback. We get what's happening here, And so they noticed that the date in which they said she was born and died doesn't add up to her current age, so it was two years off, which was strange.
Her family, like her brother and her parents hadn't come out and said anything to confirm whether or not she was dead. And then law enforcement was contacted and they said, we don't have anything on file for this person and being dead, so we don't know what's happening here. Anyway, the internet' sluse of the world went so far as to get meta as in mister Facebook involved to figure out if this minor had really died or not, or
if this was just like fake news. One oh one, so Meta came out and said this otherwise dormant account had been hacked by someone was an inside job from her parents. People say, because they'd already they'd always been quite money hungry and were, you know, kind of like show parents from the side, pandering to the crowd potentially. But I say this all to say, it's been confirmed, Lil Tay is not dead, and we're thankful and grateful
for that. But the bit that gets me is that this suspicious, critical, nosy way of the Internet is finally paying off for good. It confuses me how people saw this announcement of a death and immediately said no, something's off and they were right, hunch, because had the internet not have done the work of detail, how would she have indicated herself. How would she have proven into the world that she was not She didn't have access to her account, what she was going to make a new one?
So where is she? Have we heard from it?
She's online? Okay, she doesn't want to be online anymore. So it was part of the whole thing where she's like, she wasn't going to come on and defend herself. She didn't want to be exposed to people, so the Internet did.
The work for her.
How fantastic.
So this is a good news story to begin with.
Thank you, lil.
You're welcome.
Will take.
I have said in my time, be careful who you date for fear of increasing their stock. I didn't know. It wasn't clear that I was speaking very plainly. I didn't hear the riddle in my tone what I mean by that? Everyone. And this is a cautionary tale, coming from someone who has quite positive dating experiences.
I've seen many an.
Eligible bachelor bachelorette go down for not heeding this morning. Well, we are all reflections of the people we keep closest to us, good, bad, neutral, and everything in between. And the more time you spend with someone, the more your characteristics merge, or at least the perception of your characteristics. Everyone thinks I'm funnier because rooms is a comedian.
I don't want everyone things about me because I'm with you.
They think you're a businesswoman than you think.
Shugga shugga.
But you know, like I can imagine people who maybe didn't like my personality now find me far more appealing because they like you a lot, or vice versa, right, Like, oh, what do they have in common? They must get along really well. I want to know more about vice or versa.
It just happens in small ways. But where it happens a lot, and I notice myself catching myself is when I see a couple and I observe one to be of higher stock, higher quality, higher pedigree, higher caliber than their partner, I start to like apply positive characteristics to the partner based on what I know about the person I see.
To be better.
Right, So let's say I have a best friend and he's dating a bum. The more time these two day, I start to question my original perception. Oh well, maybe like he's actually quite nice, Maybe they're well suited, maybe this, maybe that, whatever it might be. The reason why I'm warning you is because a lot of people don't recognize the exchange when they're dating, the mental exchange, the physical exchange,
the financial transaction, the emotional transaction, the spiritual transaction. And if you're not aware of that transaction happening, it's because you're being robbed.
Okay, wow, it's because you're being.
Robbed if you can't figure out what is the transaction between you and the person you're dating. And I'm not saying it has to be higher level. It might be with Frum and I. We get along really well, we work together really well. It's beneficial for us to share our stories to get to know each other better because it makes us better friends, better co host. There's a transaction happening. If you can't tell the transaction is you're
being rubbed, babe. They are siphoning from you your energy, your clout, your empathy, your patience, your humor, your attractiveness. All of that is being siphoned.
So is the example of that. Like, let's say you're dating someone who is like not showing up for you in the way that you want, but you're just with them because you want company.
Yeah, Or for example, you might be in a relationship with someone where you're kind of like, gosh, like you know what, they're just like not the best, Like I can't really rely on them.
But gosh they're hot. Oh gosh, they're hot.
But then you have to think to yourself, if they're not showing up for you and you can't rely on them, are you reliable? Is that what they're siphoning from you? Are you consistent. Have you opened up their social network and given them seventeen new friends they didn't have before? Are you always paying for dinner?
Oh? There it is.
Yeah.
So I'm not saying be tit for tat.
I'm just saying, be aware of the transaction so you can be grateful for what is happening, so you can truly appreciate.
Gosh, this person.
I respect want to spend their time with me, They want to talk to me, they want to share me with their friends. But if that's not happening, babes, sumthe's ofs. Beware the person you date for you could be what.
Boosting their stock.
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