The Flex and Frooms Daily Podcast.
We are Flex and Frooms and today we are talking about the fatal friendship floor.
We love f's here, love to get out a Flex and frooms. Fatal friendship floor. That's some good alliteration. We didn't come up with this term ourselves. I actually wrote about fatal flaws in my book The Success Experiment Get It Weekend. But I do think that people like to avoid the topic because it feels a bit finite, right, like things have to be done. It's fatal, it's dead,
you can't come back for it. But I just think the more we allow ourselves comfortable with the fact that sometimes things are treacherous and then you deal with them, like sometimes you just have a friend who is terrible in this one area and that's just the fact.
Now brunch plants. Yeah, okay, let's get to it a little one. My bum sewing eche.
Flex and Frooms.
I got this DM very simple. Have you ever broken up with a friend. If you were ever to be the receiver of a friend breakup, would you prefer to be ghosted eventually phase out or would you prefer clean breakup with reasons and closure?
Well, why not? Already straight up reasons enclosure, Oh yeah, hit me over the head with it and then be gone.
I'm of the opinion that if someone is so frustrated with you that a breakup is required, they've tried to be communicative, they've tried to reason with you, they've tried to get the message through. It's not worked, hence the breakup.
Right, Maybe you've just finished, like paths, one of you's holding on because they don't have any other friends. This could be a plethora of reasons.
Yeah, I would just assume if a breakup was necessary, it would be off the back of something quite bad bad or like necessary to cut it, because I think if I have a friend, unless we've just naturally drifted because of time, you're gonna be around in the proofheral somewhere. If a breakup like a proper like romantic, Hey, we need to talk. This is what I'm feeling. It's done, like we're out of each other's lives, I would assume it's for a good reason. Otherwise just sort it out.
But I haven't broken up with a friend before because the times I tried it just wasn't received. Like I don't think people take very well to like really candid and like mature conversation, it can go badly. They're kind of like okay, like relax, like you know you're taking it too seriously, or you're being too sensitive or like whatever. You just need a break or so I just do a soft ghost, and often because I think I just need more time than I realized to figure out what
I think about people. And in the interim I can be cordial, I can be polite and be fun, but the long term of like do I want to exit someone for my life forever or keep them around forever? I need some time to think.
It's not that cut and dry.
It's not easy. It's not that simple.
The ghost sounds a bit more compelling when you put it that way. But I like answers. I'd like to finish it so I don't have to put any more emotional energy into something that's not going to work out. And that's on that flex and frooms high FLEXI. So in team minus seven days, I'm going to be touching down in I'd be fucked so hot. It's the land of the Calvin Harrises, the DJ Generics, the David Greta's.
I'm so excited for you. It's going to be life changing.
Have you ever been? No, I don't really know anyone who's been. Yeah. No, it's a random place to.
Go to Europe. I'm not going to Abitha.
But like, well, I just figured I'm doing all the year. I'm in London, I'm in Paris, Amsterdam, had to throw something a rogan there something beachside. You're into continental, babe, I really am. It costs actually so much to go between cities. I realize thousands dear to me, in this economy, weird ass.
Nothing is cheap when it comes to travel. That's why I'm so surprised people like, yeah, I did your for ten K. I'm like, ow, you're gone for.
Three months, three months for ten k. Yeah we did that when we were nineteen kind of thing.
There was no wi. I was, I'm always traveling lucks and like I'm going to go one place, ball out come back.
Well, I've actually never been to Europe, so.
Now is the time. Remember you told me you were Swedish and I believed you.
You put that on me. I've never said I'm sweeting you.
Literally, I said, I said, are you Swedish? And you're like, it's the blonde hair of course, and I was like, oh, okay, makes sense.
Anyone with two brain cells. No, this is a bleach job hunt, wouldn't you.
I don't know. This is Caucasian activities anyway, keeping out of it.
Yes, I'm going to Europe and I'm hoping to interview David Gueta. So David Weta in Ibetha.
And what have you sent an email? Have you pulled some strings? Like yeah, it's gonna cost him from the front row.
I started the Ibetha like propaganda on my Instagram a few months ago, and someone from his label will hear me up like a friend of mine, and said, do you want to interview him? And I said yes? Anyway, links didn't link up in the ah, so I went ahead and I bought tickets for me and my friends to see David Wedda at Wayosha on October third, eighty eight dollars euro eighty eight euro. She loves giving out time to day it's details. Well, okay, it's a massive bub.
No one's gonna see me. If you do, I'm gonna be my best life. So I'm happy to be witnessed. Anyway, I was thinking, if I do get the chance to interview him, what would you ask flex? Because I know we've discussed interviews before and often they can be quite lame.
Yeah, most of them are. I just want to find out the stuff that makes someone feel like a real person, Like I just every like, what's your inspiration? Where did the name for the song come from? I'm like it just like all that stuff is contrived and the sum of your PR team and your managers and your creative people who are like, we need to do this vibe for someone I don't know, like I want to see. I want to know, like if he likes his pillows soft, firm or like medium?
Why do you eat for breakfast?
No? Boring? Really, every time I get asked in an interview, I'm like, I didn't eat breakfast.
You get asked out a lot.
So often, like the first question, it's like the ice breakery one where I'm like, I think if I wasn't an interview. No, I think it's a double whammy. It's having been interviewed and it's having interviewed people where I'm like, I can see how it's lame on both sides, and you'll know, like if you ask celebrities like what question do you hate being answered. It's the ones that they get asked all the time.
Maybe that's how I can start the interview. So what is your most hated interview question?
But then how do you follow up from that? Because you put pressure on the next question you asked you like, what do you want for breakfast?
On that anyway, Okay, you've been totally not helpful, But I look for that.
That's not what I'm here to do. That's not what I'm here to do. We all have our roles.
I look forward to sharing all of my photos with you from my BEFA.
Well, what I think would be really controversial the fact that you're going with a friend, and you know everybody says you shouldn't travel with friends through me. Will there be a friendship breakup? Yeah, probably knows.
That's fine. We've had break us. But my friend and I, oh really, we have hard conversations constantly earlier in the relationship. Actually we did.
This is flex and frooms on DA.
I have come across this theory called the fatal friendship floor. Listen to this video. It is going to blow your mind. If it doesn't money back guarantee.
It's more of a rule than a theory. But I think that every single one of your close or best friends has a fatal flaw. Maybe they're insecure, maybe they're really attention seeking around boys. Whatever it is, once you identify it, have to accept it. When I was growing up,
I had this friend and she was a liar. The lies didn't hurt anybody, but they were big lies, and I would complain to my mom about it all the time, and eventually she was like, enough, if this is part of her personality, you have to accept it or don't be friends with her anymore.
And so was born my rule.
Once you identify your close friend's fatal flaw, anytime it flares up, you can't be triggered by it because you have to accept that that's their fatal flaw. So say that they're really insecure, and you identify that, and then one day they call you and they're like, I don't know which dress to wear and they keep you on the phone for half an hour. You have to view that as a write off under the fatal flaw clause. And if the fatal flaw bothers you enough, then you
have to demote them to a less close friend. The silliest thing is if you are consistently triggered by your friend's fatal flaw, either accept it or demote them, or you'll drive yourself crazy.
Is that tinks?
It's tinks. Wow, it's tinks. I stand by that one because there's a lot of behaviors that I can see in a lot of my close friends I would not tolerate from someone I wasn't close with that I don't have love for, But in the context of them, I'm like, it'll do like a big one. Is I'm really off
about self deprecation. I really hate it, like it like not only frustrates me, because I'm like, if you cannot see pass your silly little insecurity to see that, like to see that you know you're not only programming yourself to feel deep about this thing that's not even that important, then you don't have the level of clarity I need for you to have to move through the world. Like it's such a lazy way, it's such an unnecessarily damaging thing to do for your own self esteem, Like self
deprecation is. It could be like a funny thing, but like all your brain is doing is looking for patterns in behavior, and it's looking to validate what you tell it to be true. So like, while you may not believe in the initial state, they're like, Oh, I'm so dumb. I'm so dumb. I'm so dumb. Your brain knows what you tell it, and so why would it now work over time to contradict what you've told it that is true.
So I'm thinking, like even not even consciously, but like you can challenge it now that it's new, but in fifty years time you're going to be that dead weight person who's like, but I can't do anything, and like I can't let anything new and I can't do this because I'm so dumb get it. But you know, like people have their things interesting.
It's a very Australian thing, is they're not.
It's such an Australian thing. It's so lame. But again it's like I have to mind myself about that because I'm like, obviously it's a defense mechanism, it's a coping mechanism. It makes a lot of sense, like you got to get yourself before someone else gets you. Totally get that. And I make accommodations people really care about. And if I don't know you that well, I just can't have to like.
La la la la la la la la la forget turn the blind eye. What's a fatal floor you can think of in myself? No, and in like friends that you've been accommodating for one for me would probably be when you can't handle your alcohol. Like I have a friend that will get really drunk every time, and like it's like, yeah, let's drink heaps of pre drinks, let's get and then it's so drunk that they can't enjoy themselves.
I find that to be a bit of a fatal floor. Yeah, nothing, nothing worse than having a messy friend you're gonna take care of.
Yeah, it's tricky because I feel like because I didn't drink, I don't even really drink now, but I'm always a sober friend, and I'm like, this is just how drunk people act, do you know, Like I just expect that, like it could manifest one of four way is going to be really aggressive, really happy, really sloppy, really chatty. Yeah that's just you being drunk.
What's your least favorite of those?
Sloppy in terms of like if you can't see when things are dangerous, Like I don't mind sloppy, silly or it's like I just did a silly thing. I'm so silly or whatever, but sloppy and silly where it's like you're about to fall downstairs, babe, or like you're hanging out of a car, like get it together, you can pull it, you can rein it in for your own safety. And it's when they inadvertently make you responsible for them. It's like I didn't sign up to be your keeper. Come on, now, we're grown.
I'm not on a wage a way, send an invoice the next day for my obates.
Literally.
Yeah, I'm trying to think of another one, like people were overly negative. Yeah, that's a really hard one, especially when you know they're kind of like anxious, or it's really hard when someone's trying to not be a certain way, like whether they're going to therapy or decide they don't want to be a certain way, but they still fall into that pattern. That's hard.
Yeah, that is a tricky one because like I see the work you're putting in, put it in quicker, it's not enough. But the negative thing is another one. I make adjustments forward close friends, but with new people, I'm like, I can't I refuse to tell you that your reality isn't true anymore. Yeah, you know what I'm saying, Like, if you truly believe this how the world is, it's how the world works, then unless I have a stake in our relationship, I'm not doing it. Like, I don't
care if it contradicts what I think. It's all good lips of sealed. It's just too much. You sign yourself up for stuff that you can't handle. But I do agree the point that Tinks made, especially we get to the point where if it's bothering you so much, it's now your problem. Yeah yeah, yeah, So like you got to figure out what's the rehabilitation and what we're doing? How you what's the program you've created to resolve what's
happening here? Because that one thing, like when I hear people complain about their friends, and like, I've heard this story before, So what are you to do about it?
Well?
What am I meant to do? Like, she's grown? Okay, exactly what are you meant to do about she's grown? Hibit?
Move on?
Move on?
Sick of hearing about it? Anyway, Sanks Tinks always love her little not even her little always love her social commentary.
Honestly, I haven't seen her on my for you page in I would say.
Years, I'm on the instadgum watching the stories and one.
Oh, I understand you're a rich mum.
I am.
I'm priming myself to be not gonna lie.
This is flex and frooms.
I was thinking about a bit of a moral dilemma the other day, totally unprovoked. This didn't happen to me. Now you're thinking off the clock, and I was wondering about Okay, let's say you're with a group of friends and you're going to the beach, going a Bondai beach. Okay, me always trying to bring bond Eye into conversations. It's not even Mike community. Anyway, You go there, parking's twelve dollars an hour. You decide, I'm just gonna wing it.
I'm not going to pay for a park. You get back to the car, you're a parking fine naturally, And okay, you think it's the driver of the car that should get it. But what if everyone else in the car was egging them on and saying, oh yeah, nah, let's just get it. Don't worry about the ticket. Whose responsibility is it to pay? You tell me, I think, don't pretend you're thinking about that. You post on this topic because.
You knew what your answer was. Let us have it.
I think it's the driver's responsibility. It's your car. If I was the driver and everybody paid me, I think, well, that's so nice, But I'd feel like a bit of a grub.
Yeah, this is a real situation. Have you experienced this?
Nah?
Be sure, no, no. But the other day a woman came over and she parked. I'm like, I'll pay for your parking. She's like, nah, I'll never buy parking.
Why did you want to pay for a parking?
She was doing a favor for me.
Is the way you A woman came over and then I said, is it a friend? It's like, what is happening?
Oh?
Woman?
Mysterious?
Yeah. In this instance, if I was driving the car for a bunch of friends and we had to park somewhere, I would pay for parking. Le's number one because I the thing that I'm learning in like in my maturation, is that I'm not the exception to the rule. So every time I get that little king of like, maybe I too can break the rules. When things will work out, it's not worth the risk. I don't want to pay one hundred dollars two hundred dollars. I just pay for
the ticket. I would not ask for people to split that ticket because I like the convenience of having the car and the petrol and it takes places. If we got a ticket, though, I would still pay it, and I wouldn't expect anyone else to pay it to me, because pear pressure is lame. When you're an.
Adult, m sill what happens?
So yeah, but even so, grow one or a pair whichever, grow what whatever you want it to be, Grow some resolve, like this whole idea of like, yeah, but you were all egging me on, and I did it because you guys said this is come on now. We learned this in prime. I'm school. If they're all jumping off the bridge, you say, I'll see you down there, and you know, drump, you say, right where you are, you call mom, Mom, come and get me. They're being weird again. They jumped
so hectic. Look, I think it's a good Morrow's level to have because I think it would happen more often than not. And I'm so sure that there are so many people who would say you split it four ways or however many people are in the car, you would split it, oh, depending on the month, And I'm not surprised by that.
I'm really not listening to Flex and frooms Okada.
Thankfully for me, we've got small b real slander, because honestly the app is fine. It's whatever the conversation around it, though, I just think to myself, sure you hear what you're saying at this moment. But thankfully for me, it's not my time to rant on the internet because somebody has sent me a voice memo with their own be real rant and I'm just here to share it.
That's the name. I'm but a messenger, Tiagan.
Flex flex Flex and I saw and I have noticed in the last couple of days a few people like reposting their be reels on Instagram for what I think is only because it's a be real or something cool. So I'm wondering if this, like a coole be real thing is now infiltrating into Instagram as like a highlight reel of the be Real. Anyway, after that you know episode that you guys it the other day about I was thinking that be Real is, you know, a more
wholesome sort of page. I feel like it might transcend into Instagram and become like this highlight reel of the be Reels, but the actual true be with be Reels will stay on that particular page.
Wow, beautiful tone of voice. Yeah, love love taking a voice. She was sangled on this radio show.
So from my understanding, Tigan's kind of saying the whole ethos of be Reels to have a honest, candid moment on the app just for that time, for that ecosystem of your friends, and then you leave that there. People are praising be real for an attitude that they won't carry into the app by taking what you're meant to be doing on be real and putting it on the platform that you hate. Because it's all of these things. It's a highlight reel to curate it, it's this and that.
It's a contradictory thing because it's never really the platforms to begin with. We are the sum of the platforms. Everything you hate about Instagram is what you directly invested your time and energy into. Everything that you love about Instagram is what you directly invested your time and energy into. Assuming that this mass exodus to a new platform without the consideration of how your behaviors impact the platform will just mean that be Real will just turn into the
new Instagram. I will say, oh, I was never the one that said be Real is the antidote to Instagram. I think they're completely different apps for different purposes. I will say I'm guilty of reposting the bur real to the Instagram. For example, I was out for dinner with Ginger and Carmen Melbourne and Australian icons, women who post
videos of themselves getting up to escapades, absolute icons. Of course, if the b real goes on and I'm in an absolutely iconic situation, I'm gonna have to Reshare it have to?
I don't do it every time. The other day I was in a very very much more just as exciting scenario with very very well known Australian Australian is a year no less. Did it stay on the be Real? It did?
Why is that? Because even knowing that distinction of what you will and won't share to the other platform, it's still like buying into what Instagram is about, picking and choosing, cherry picking the moment's worth sharing. You are, in turn making Instagram stay a highlight reel.
Yeah, you're right, but I'm fine with Instagram being a highlight amazing. I'm just yeah, yeah, thankfully for all of us.
I'm not done with the bee real slander. You're one person I've convinced. I've got eight billion to go.
Go away, everybody. Just get your friends on be reel, have a fun time, like post a few bur reals on the Instagram. Just let everyone know you're on the app, and then just have a good time.
Flex and frooms.
I am Flex. You might know me from your dreams and nightmares.
My name's through me. I preside on the Internet, and of course I've been on here since two thousand and four. I'd say it's a full time person on the Internet. And that's why I have been looking back into the ether at the best early Internet videos of all time. Now it's hard to believe, but before two thousand and five, YouTube didn't exist.
Yeah, that's crazy.
It became public two thousand and five with the first video, which was Me at the Zoo. It's a man doing a vlog at the zoo, about thirty seconds long.
Do you work there?
No, it's just a guy going to the zoo. WHOA Do you remember YouTube when it was like cat videos? Yeah, do you remember that? Not really? Anyway, I was doing a retrospective. I did a newsletter on this about the best early Internet videos. Do you remember shoes?
No, even when you were when you were collating information about these things, I just was not across it. I don't think I was on the Internet. I was just playing SIMS and downloading music on LimeWire.
I wasn't on I.
Didn't see Internet. I just had access to And I think I was on MSN.
For I, but you weren't in the trenches.
I wasn't looking on browsers for all. I was playing games on browsers, like big Fish games and Neopets and stuff. I wonder if we ever cross paths in Neopets likely imagine hab a hotel going on the same party. But even that habit was like too hectic for me. I'm like, cute, sheltered baby. I was like, I want to play with the animals. I don't want to talk to potential old men on the internet.
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