The flexen Frooms Daily Podcast.
It is Flex and Frooms Podcast Edition, which is my favorite. Love a live show, but I love speaking at length about stuff. No gaps for breathing, no filler or killer.
Let's get into it. Flex and Frooms.
Today, like any other day, I have a moral dilemma for you. This one, in particular, is from our segment that we call am I the Asshole? Stolen from Reddit. I Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's give credit where it's due. This is an amazing concept, transcends decades, transcends generations. It's amazing stuff. If the dinosaurs were alive right now, they too would love it.
I agree.
But here's the thing, am I. The assholes are often people asking about like relationship dilemmas, and they're usually quite silly. But what I find is that there usually clearly is an asshole of the situation. This one, though, I'm not so sure there is. So put on your thinking caps, make sure they stay on and never take them off, and listen to this. Am I the asshole for walking out of a restaurant because my girlfriend ordered spaghetti off the dome. I'm gonna say, no.
You're not an asshole? Yeah no, why.
I'm just going with my gut.
What would you say? Yes?
Asshole?
Grating asshole.
I twenty five year old male, am dating a woman twenty four called Ali. We moved them together five months ago, and I really love her a lot. That confuses me. Hell, you've been dating for because I've got a five months? Is that we've been together five years?
Who knows?
Anyway? Alie just doesn't have great table manners. She eats noisily and sloppily.
Sounds like you.
I this is not me, This is not me. In a restaurant environment, usually this isn't too bad because natural ambient sound in a quiet room, it's much more noticeable. I don't exactly like it, but usually I can tolerate it. However, when Ali eats pasta, she slurps her noodles so loudly that people from other tables look. It's completely mortifying to hear people murmur about her loud slurping all the time.
I know this might be normal into some other cultures, but from where I'm from in the US, it looks really uncultured and bothers some people who are more sensitive to sounds. I've tried to teach her how to use a spoon to spin the pasta into a ball. Nope, she doesn't want to. I've tried to ask her to take smaller bites. Nope, that's how she eats pasta, and
that's how she'll always eat pasta. We've been to a local Italian restaurant half a dozen times, and each time but one, in a basically empty restaurant, she humiliated me with her loud, slurpy eating. I know I shouldn't care what other people think, but I agree with the patrons. It's disgusting people are trying to enjoy a meal. I finally get fresh traded one day and told her that I wouldn't eat noodles with her in public anymore. She
can eat alone, or she can go with friends. I'll happily drive her to the restaurant, but I will not sit down with her. She kind of blew off my message with a oh, yeah, you're so perfect. So I get it, and I thought that was that. Last night, though, Ali really wanted to go to our local Italian place again and I asked her she'd be ordering spaghetti. She rolled her eyes and said she get the lasagna. I agreed that was fine, and we went out for the
first time in a while. When the waitress came to take our order, Ali completely went back on her promise and ordered spaghetti.
Sheok geez.
I told the waitress I wouldn't be needing anything, stood up and walked to our car. I relaxed in the car, listening to a podcast until Ali came out a while later. She staty it all over her face and started giving me the silent treatment. When we got home, she yelled at me about embarrassing her, would not let me say a single word without shrieking over me, and said that she's only interested in an apology. I refused, and she went to another room to loudly talk shit about me
to herself, intentionally so I could hear her. I don't know if I went too far. There's somebody living in the walls. That's who she was talking to. Did Alan take it too far? Who's in the wrong for me? Please lay down the law.
You know what, In an average situation, I would be on Alie's side. You should not be lectured by this man on spaghetti eating etiquette.
Okay, yeap. However, she lied to his face.
She said, I'm getting lasagna, and then to backtrack and throw that back in his face with a spaghetti order in front of a waitress or waiter no less is the absolute height of assholeness. Yeah, I think she is the asshole, and I think she does not deserve that spaghetti, and I think they should break up.
What do you think.
Always break up? Here's the thing. I have been the Allen in a relationship before. What did you do in the sense.
Where I need specifics? Great or we can do specifics.
My issue is I think people should be comfortable, but then when your comfort starts to infringe on somebody else's comfort, we both got to make adjustments. And so I've dated a really sloppy eater. I think, and I'm going to overgeneralize, I think men are historically sloppy eaters. But that's neither here nor there. I grew up with brothers. I've seen it. I've seen the worst of it. I've been in the trenches. But in this instance, it was sloppy eating at home.
I can understand sloppy eating in public, not in public in your office with your people. In a restaurant, you're making a scene. You've got food on your face, food on the table. It's gross.
Giving me bum tingles.
And it's very immature. I can understand as somebody who's really aware of the off dis If somebody is enjoying themselves, let them enjoy themselves. Ali's not hurting anyone but being a messy eater. But she is now hurting her boyfriend, and she's being very dismissive of how he feels about her eating. You can't expect to give a grown person directions on how they should eat. It's gonna go down. Well, what do you think is happening here, babe? So for the first time in am I the asshole flex and
Rooms history, I think I'm gonna crown it. Everybody there sucks. They both suck. As someone who's been the Allen, I recognize it's shitty behavior. It's mean. It's mean, it's mean. Let people breathe. They're eating. People already have weird relationships with eating and food. They I need the extra layer of insecurity with you being like it's greats.
You're sloppy, flex and Rooms.
I want you to imagine that you've walked into your home after a long day at work. Gosh, the shoes have come off, the bag goes down.
I've listened to flex al day. Yes, yes, actly.
Ear.
Now you go to your fridge to pull out a cool beverage, but you accidentally open up your freezer and what do you see? A penguin? What do you do?
WHOA, yeah, I'm jumping for joy? Really yeah, they're so cute.
A penguin in your seat? Like, think about it, right, you open up your freezer and expect everything there to be Number one lifeless, number two probably of like the sweet variety. You see a penguin, think realistically, what are your next steps?
Is it dead or alive? That's what I mean? What would you prefer? I prefer it to be alive.
Great, so it's a live What are you doing there chillin'? It's pingu I love pingo.
Okay, here's my thing.
I love that we don't even need to go into that. Not interested in my take?
No, I know, I get you, I get you. But here's my thing. I have this sneaking suspicion that the best way to get to know someone is to see how they answer really bizarre and often mundane questions.
How does that work?
Well, you just see how their brain works. I think that if you ask somebody a question, that they've been trained on, Like, you know, what's your biggest weakness?
A care too much? Shut I'm too much?
If you won the lotto, what would you do? Definitely split it evenly with my family.
Shut up.
But people who coach themselves, they've media trained themselves to answer those things in a certain way that'll give you the impression that they're a good person. Ask them something nonsensical. You just get to know them.
What's your What would you do if there's a peguan in your fridge?
Call Grace immediately?
You're bestie?
Yeah, or Sally? I would call a friend. The first thing I do is call a friend. I'm not dealing with this alone. You think I want to deal with this alone. No, everybody suffers because I don't know what to do. Do you call the RSPCA, the CSIRO Taronga Zoo?
It's actually Taronga Sanctuary? Is it?
Is that for optics though, because they don't want to be there, that want to be there. You can't want a sanctuary to make yourself feel better. We know what's happening there. They're trapped, are they not?
It's kind of how I feel in this room.
They're trapped.
Tell me how you feel about Look that says so much about you. I will reserve my judgment.
Thank you.
The next time you find yourself on a random date meeting a new person for the very first time, resist the urge to ask them how they are or what they do for work. Instead, ask them what they would do if they walked home or in to home after a long day of work and found a penguin in their freezer.
All right, it's on the list. It's on the bloody list.
This is flex and frooms.
I don't want to give people a really clear picture of what the apocalypse. I think it's up to creative interpretation. But I will say a very common part of everybody's apocalypse is shortages when you are unable to access stuff. It's an apocalypse this year alone in Australia, predominantly how many syllables are predominantly too many. There's been a chicken shortage, a fuel shortage, a lettuce shortage.
A cabbage shortage, a.
Cabbage shortage, a used car shortage. But the one that's really affected me on a personal level is the PS five shortage.
Heavy PlayStation five shortage.
When did the PlayStation five first come out?
Twenty nineteen November twenty nineteen. That was a long time ago. And when it was launched, it was in a shortage. And here's the thing. You might be thinking, Oh, it's just popular, like everybody wants a PS five and so like, No, that's not what's happening here. Literally because of the C word COVID. I don't know, because of COVID or COVID literally is the reason why I can't get a PS five.
Let me draw the link for you. So because of COVID, right, there was this sudden increase in people wanting to access technological goods. And if we want to clarify it or be more particular, it's not necessarily a PS five shortage. But there's a particular chip in the PS five that is used in a lot of cars, laptops, and other various cabbage electronic equipment, exactly electro cabbages. So what has happened is when COVID hit, production had to halt because
you know, those resources had to be moved. Things got expensive. There are no people in the power plants to make the stuff that makes the chip that.
Makes the homie was out.
Apparently a bunch of techno retailers I think that's something. Were told that there would be a chip shortage, and so people at Toyota they stocked up. They had four months worth of chip because remember we thought COVID was two weeks remember that.
Yeah, it was fun.
That's foreboding. So here's the thing. Because there's a chip shortage, it means it's a PS five shortage. And then because of how scarce the PS fives are, they're scalpers who are buying all the PS fives and then reselling them at a higher price. What's the retail the RP RRP R the recommended retail price. It's already like one, one two, like twelve hundred bucks.
It's not a cheapy cheap.
And you can get a digital only PS five that's like six seven hundred dollars or whatever. But to pay resale maybe like two k crazy.
Just use the what's that one? You use Nintendo site switch? Just get on us.
It's not comparable. But thank you for that suggestion. It was entirely unhelpful. What I want to say, and I want everyone to listen closely, the true sign of an apocalypse is when you can't easily buy mass produced items. It shouldn't be like this in one year alone. I can't eat the food I want to eat. I can't go to places I want to go, I can't play the games I want to play. And the worst thing of it all is there's no end in sight.
Oh, I don't think that's true.
You know what, We've got a lolly joone in front of us. Yeah, that's the best thing that could ever happen.
And I'm happy.
This is flex and frooms as a giggly girl and a smiley talker. Do you know what a smiley talker is?
Yeah, we're doing it right now.
We're doing it right now. People don't think that I'm angry when I am. It's all a performance. To me, it's a facade. How do you react when you're angry? I want to know, be honest with me. If I pissed you off, how would you react?
So my natural born state is agro.
I don't believe that.
No, I swear I used to have the worst road rage. Really literally get out of the car and knock on windows.
Is this a bit?
No?
Twenty thirteen era? Just got my lasses? What I know I used to have. I genuinely have anger issues that I've had to quell.
You do such a good job of it, because I'm sure people think I have anger issues. I'm a chill driver. I'm like, it's fine, Like we're going the same place. Somebody beeps. I'm like, wait, babe, relax.
I see it was a really bad driver.
No, I'm a really good driver.
Really yeah.
I got my license late, so I'm an adult who learned how to drive. The reason why I couldn't get my license when I was little, I was like too scatter brained, really looking all over the place, like what's that?
What's that? What's up?
What's that?
Anyway, I'm a stone waller when I'm angry. After I do the healthy communication thing. If I've tried to be a sensible person, it's not hitting stone walling. I'm an ice. You out, you don't exist to me ever. Ignored dead dead dead. And I found out that ignoring someone on a physiological level hurts the same as being physically injured. Whoa. And it's really odd because as a Grade A premium ignorer, I'm rarely ignored, and so I don't actually know what
that feels. But on a small scale, when someone's.
Ignoring me, and it hits.
Yeah, I'm like, oh, I get it.
And this is the thing.
I feel like, if you are someone that ignores people, You're right, people don't ignore you. It's like the whole thing where if you're someone who speaks shortly, you don't use many words. People listen, Yeah, gives you Artisian vibes. What's artesian or artisanal?
Oh, I'm so glad I didn't let that one go Artsian.
Artisanal. It's not artisanal, it's artesian. I'm being serious.
I see I can't tell if it's a bit anymore.
I can't tell.
Well, here's the thing. The next time you want to ignore someone, just hit them.
Which I'm not condone violent.
I was practicing my own comedy. No, but just keep in mind that if you think ignoring someone is like the healthy way out or the more mature way out, it really isn't. For the person who's on the receiving end. Just to wrap it up in a healthy way.
Okay, okay, learning you're listening to Flex and Frooms on CADA.
Clowns are cool, but there was a time when clowns overran the world. Really cast your mind back twenty sixteen, What were you doing at that time.
Twenty sixteen was two four six years ago. If I'm telling the truth, six years ago, I was twenty two. If I'm lying, I was eighteen, which meant that I was somewhere in between dropping out of UNI true.
How this.
Huh? No free press?
You know this? I said, clown college. No free press too.
God's well. Twenty sixteen was a very interesting time because it was a time when the world had clown mania. A guy in the US, I want to say, Massachusetts, Massachusetts.
How else do you say it?
How you said it? It's fine? Now?
Can you actually tell me Massachusetts? Yeah, that's what I said.
It's got an extra tea Massachusetts anyway, Massachusetts. A man in Massachusetts was like, I'm going to put on a clown costume and start terrorizing the neighborhood, running through the woods and quite like a little virus that we've been dealing with for the last two years.
It took off.
Wait when you say terrorized in this petty crime like yelling at bus stops. Ah, you know, loitering.
Look, I don't remember the specifics, but basically all around Australia we started having these clown sightings at a s mcnonal's.
Yes, fast food restaurant.
Yes, this guy in a clown costume came up and knocked on the window of two young fifteen year old girls.
With an axe.
Yep, really as you know, pretending to be a clown. And this went on and on at the time. Actually, I was a radio show presenter and somebody called up and said, I'm on Frankston Pierre, I'm a clown and I'm going around terrorizing people. And we had to just listen to that call. I couldn't call the authorities.
Zobatim. That's what they said, I'm here terrorizing people. Yeah, that's not paraphrased. That's what they called in to tell you. The scary bit is not that they were just clowns dressed up as clowns in public spaces. They were intending to harm while wearing the clown costume.
Yeah, they were being the clown archetype villain.
And the Australian clowns got their blueprint from the American clown.
It wasn't just in America, it was around the world.
It was like a viral, a worldwide thing. Yeah, and I just missed it. I don't know what you were doing. This is very up your alley. This is a question we must post to the world. Where were you when the clowns were terrorized people? Because I blacked out.
That's because you.
It's either you were being terrorized or you were the clown. Two types of people. Pick one. I don't recall any of this happening. And either way, whether it's me pretending that I was either eighteen when it happened or twenty two, I was on the Internet. I was on Twitter, I was on Facebook, BBO, Reddit, Instagram.
You don't need to explain it to me. It's okay that you were a clown.
I say it for you like you have all of the like necessary things that you need to do.
If it's clown or be clowned, I'm clowning for sure. I also know that if the purge happened, I'm participating.
It always comes back to that.
But in the current moment, clowns are having resurgence, high fashion clowns, though not the clowns that are terrorizing the young children of Muei, but rather Jewel Leaper.
Jewel Leaper, I think this was Adua Leaper.
Yeah, did a song recently and the film clip don't ask me what song was? Was her like a clown cowboy going around on a horse, putting a finger between her lips, being quite salacious if I do say so myself. But yeah, clown's like a cool sexy thing. You see all the clown filters on Instagram and like the whole rhetoric around, Oh I'm a clown, the clown emoji.
They're having a moment.
This sounds like when fifty year olds ask their kids what's cool. The kids be facetious back, and then the parents take it at face value. They go into their parents' meetings and talk about what the kids like clowns. They say, that's me. I'm happy to be doodly do. I don't be a devil's advocate, but I think the cultural significance of clowns, damn well, I'm more for it.
You've been listening to the Flex and Frooms Daily podcast for more Tune Needsica on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.