Flex and Frooms Flex and Frooms.
This is the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast.
Woo it's a flexing Frooms podcast. Really loving the podcast. Please do some five star reviews up in this beach.
Well, what's going on?
But I think we got like seven hundred. Could could be better.
I mean everything could be better, but we're learning to be happy with where we're at. You're looking like someone right now and it's freaking me out.
Goku. No, I've like gotten to the end of the day where I'm just trying to get the gel out of my hair and I look like Goku with the hair. Goku.
You like those people say sushi, you know the ones, and I'm not gonna say it. I'm not gonna say they say cals on there, but they're not Italian sushi.
For me, it's yogurt yoget your community. Shut up.
You already know said do an even play like it's not directly from your lineage.
Geez, let's go is flex and Rooms on Kata.
Look, the girlies are going through it, namely because we have thoughts, and you know how that is. It's hard to big ask for a pretty girl two pretty girls.
I have been spoken for.
I was scrolling the tiki took the other day, as one does, came across this video. Can't remember who posted it, but they were talking about content creation and how with enough months, weeks, years on the platform, you will inherently offend.
A lot of people.
And what eventually happens is you start feeling really guilty and really fearful and ashamed that you common old you could be able to incite so much frustration another person, and then you get numb and then you stop caring. And based on that conversation, a moral dilemma came to me, and I was thinking, at what point do you have to care when you've offended someone? Because not all offense is intentional, not all offense is directed where it lands,
not all offense is your business anyway. Someone is just inherent And I was thinking, we need a tearless like a comprehensive guy. But even before that, we need to discuss situations in which we've offended people and not even known and have had to bear the brunt of that, situations in which we intended to offend it and did
not land And like you didn't see that? I hate her though, And also like if we can figure out personally, like where our scale is, Like, do you think that now you spend so much time on the internet, you're more immune to this idea that the stranger on the other side is offended by what you wore or how you look, or how you said something or what they thought you in third but was actually quite opposite from the reality.
Who bloody knows?
I reckon we start like the most bottom of the barrel level of offense is like prejudice, racism. People just don't like our vibes, they don't like our vibe, whatever it might be.
Are we talking about ourselves specifically, yeah, personal experience experienced us Yeah, yeah, let's just.
Say bottom of the barrel. I would say with like, offense broadly is where we don't have to feel bad or apologize.
Is just for the way we are, the way.
We look, the way we came out the womb, like a nationality, ethnicity, like it just is what it is. I cannot apologize broadly for Australia, unfortunately, it's.
Just I'm not gonna hold that. I'm so sorry.
The second level of offense that I think that we don't have to care about is personal opinions that we actually feel strongly about Yes, correct. It gets to a point where I can't be apologetic because we don't share a similar view on a thing. Sometimes we just don't agree, so I might say, or for example, we have our rules for life, and one of your rules for life is that on a first date it should be and
both parties should pay. If someone came back and said that's really offensive, you know one party has put in a lot more effort than the other party. I just feel like, la la, la, la la, it's white noise to me.
I'm not listening.
Just have your opinion and go totally. It's not on me to shoulder that. It's all good. I'm not mad, you're not mad. Let's get a pushing thirtier. I've said something offensive. It was uninformed. I did in fact check. I was rowdy. You know, the joke didn't land. Sometimes you gotta cop it, boopsie. Sometimes you just have.
To cop if it lands and it's offensive.
You know what I mean For.
That one, I'm not going to grovel.
I'm not getting on my hands and knees and be like hey, but I will say you probably.
Do have to care. We also talk about behavior of people that are offended, Like, what's their right of reply? Do they have to accept any apology?
Well, I feel like no, in the same way, we don't have to accept the offense. I remember, I have this core memory. It's a bit fuzzy, but it's one of the last times I ever engaged in that back and forth. Someone's misinterpreted what I've said or gone back and forth or whatever. And I remember I was like in Marrickville. I was driving and I stopped because I got a call, and I was like, Oh, I'm just
gonna chill for a bit. It's peak out anyway. And so I was on the call on one on the car play and I was scrolling through my Instagram dms and someone sent me a DM and they were popping off and I don't even know what it was about, but I do remember being like, that's not even what I said. Like you're arguing a point I didn't even make. I could make it up. I could have been like I'm capitalism's handmaiden and that's why I work really hard.
And then they were like, you're saying that working class people don't deserve rights, and like, what are you even arguing about?
It was this whole paragraph.
I went back and I was like, I don't think you understood what I meant, but like this is what I meant. And they were like no, no, no, this and this and this, and I was like, I think I was sitting there for about thirty minutes, and I was like, I just don't understand what you want me to say, because even if I apologize, you've already seen this last thirty minutes of conversation where I didn't understand and I wasn't apologizing. If I just plack at you,
it's not gonna sit well. Went back forth, back and forth, back and forth, and I'm.
Like, you don't even care.
You don't care because the part of you that cared about this being resolved died when you DM.
Me facts violence, violence, violence was jokes.
And I was sitting here and I was like, I'm really taking this on, Like I was feeling so anxious, my vision was going blurry, my heart was beating because this person was pissed, and I just didn't know. Like it's almost like I didn't have the vocabulary or the empathy to be like, I just don't know what to care about because I acknowledge that you're upset. But I didn't even like, I didn't even say what you think I said. And so now I'm like, it's your problem,
is it my problem? So in terms of the people who who, what do we call the offended? Yes, the offended, I would say, if the message is broad, yes, I'm gonna care less about the offended. As in, if the thing you said is broad, yes, if it was like an over generalization, if I was like, I'm not dating people who are still from the supermarket.
If you come to me one on one with a like neually, I don't care.
That's a bit of a hard one though, because that's like illegal.
Whatever it is, right, if I've said something broadly, off the cuff, whatever, and it's landed somewhere in your vicinity and it's really hit.
A spot, hold it, hold it.
If I've said, in particular, this particular thing, I'm really sick of girls who wear pinstriped their suits with tattoos, who have hombred. Now get on my nerves or whatever, and you happen to fit all that criteria and it's personal. Come talk to me, and I'm gonna see what we can do. I'm gonna see what we can do, but I just can't. Like if something I say just happens to land in your vicinity by virtue of an algorithm, or like you overheard, leave me out of it.
I'm so sorry, Like it feels.
Like a you problem because you don't know me enough for me to coddle you.
Facts.
What kind of apology could I get from a stranger on the internet. That's gonna be like, Yeah, that's what I needed. You know what I need a hug from my mum and a back rum.
Respectfully, thank you, Oh the Internet.
I do think it's something that we all need to think about, because I remember I read I watched this ted talk by Sarah Knight. I think it's called the Magic of not giving a fuck, okay, And the concept that she references is this idea that we all have a finite amount of fucks to give and that we need to be a lot more discerning about what we actually give a fuck about. So you figure out what your fuck buckets are, and then you allocate and you
put stuff in them. So if I really give a fuck about my friends, you know, my inner circle, it's gotta be like my top ten, maybe the twenty around them.
I don't have you a party friend on the fringe. I'm so sorry.
Sorry about that.
In the content of the party, I got you. But on the day to day I can only really give a fuck about the besties and my family, you know what I mean. Maybe I care a lot about psychology and philosophy for me broadly, right, but I don't really give a fuck to be debating people on the internet about it.
And like I didn't know that distinction before.
I was like, I must love the whole experience, right, or like I really love talking about things I'm interested in, right, I really give a fuck about that. But talking about things I'm interested in to people who don't find it interesting probably not totally. So maybe I'm not gonna put
so much energy towards that. And that is really like a refreshing way to like view your interactions because unfortunately, and I hate cliches, but people really are gonna dislike you for no reason anyway, So to be the most well rounded, nice, patient, kind person and someone will still say I don't trust nice people.
There's always away, there's always away. Well, this is interesting. I think we can keep going on about it. But oh, flexis.
Sorry, light is on shining a torch.
So Boomer of you, this is a this is a contentious one, I think definitely.
And I think it's it's not like a rules for life.
It's one that requires case by case by case basis. But I would say, as a standard, I'm not holding shit that's not mine. And the Internet wants to do that every day.
They don't.
They leave me out of it, please flex and froods.
On occasion, our producer brook sets me up for failure, I would say, yeah, never, don't say that. And at times I take good what do you call it assassination? Yeah, At times, FLEXI, I will take the bait. And today's one of the times. I'm doing the eight Saint Challenge where Brookie has brought along five nationalities, all of which I could be from, and I have to take a stab at them. Have a listened to the original TikTok Place?
American I wish I could, but I don't want to. Standard, British I wish I could, but I don't want to. Devin Sure, I wish I could, but I don't want to. German I wish I could, but I don't find too.
This is really scary, so I want to be attempting the German, but I do have a few flexes in my personal health. Okay, let's start, please, Brookie with the first Australian. You put the lime in the coconut and you mix it all up.
Do you want to try a few different versions of Australian. I think you're cheating.
Nah, that's it, okay, Irish.
I'm trying to practice being supportive.
You put the lame in the corconut, you mix it all loop. That's Irish? Is it runs run of pause? Thank you? Thank you? Georady. I don't know what that is. It's like Liverpool, like Jordy, sure, yeah, like Scouse. All right, you put the lame in the coconut, you mix it all lop. Is that Irish? No?
I feel like I that might be it.
Okay, that's Journy Scottish. You put the lame in the coconut and you mix it all up. I just feel like it's all just like alternate froofs. It's American American. Oh I hate this. You put the lime in the coconut. Oh that's awful. Next one, okay, you Scottish. That's God's why I'm saying against Okay, standard British. I'm gonna know this standard British. You put the lime in the coconut and you mix it all up, and that's on that answer, Strange said, you can't know this cis I'll do Scottish
for you one. What time it's a final Scottish You put the lome in the core? Can I send you mix it all up? Nailed that one?
Why did it sound exactly like Irish? And children? And at this one I can't tell feel really really good or really really bad? Like she nailing this or that's exposure therapy.
Keters, flex and frooms, flex and frooms.
You know how? I don't know. Ten years ago on the news they.
Were like everybody's lonely loneliness epidemic and they just have not like revised that data because it's gotten worse. People don't have friends, then I have like community support networks, nothing. And on occasion when I posed a question to my various audiences to ask me questions, one of the top three is how do you make friends? As someone who has plenty of friends? I don't know because I kept mine from back in the days and also scooped them up from like work, and pe to ps and like
mutual friends. But I saw this TikTok the other day and I said, you know what, that's a but nobody wants to do that.
Listen to this.
If you want to make new friends, I think you should be posting on social media. I think we are as isolated as ever. Sex drive as a whole is down in our generation, depression is up. And I was talking to my brother about this, how like I feel like in your mid twenties, it's really hard to make new friends. Like you're not in college anymore, you're not
meeting new people. The only time you're meeting new people is like through dating apps or online like on social media, or you're like running into them at work or through mutual friends. But it's not as easy as it used to be when you were younger to meet new people. And I think posting is a really good way to remind people that, like, you're out there, you're living your life, and these are the things you're doing, you're interested in.
Social media has turned into this really weird space where it's a career for a lot of people, and a lot of people are like, oh, you should post a lot to like grow a career.
You don't. If you're not interested in doing that, don't do that.
But I think like posting as a casual social media user is important to make new friends. Posting the activities you do in your free time, whether it's pottery, rock climbing, hiking, and you will be surprised by the amount of people who swep up and be like, hey, oh my god, I would love to join you rock climbing. Like when I post the activities I do, I have so many of my friends hit me up being like I've always wanted to start doing that, Like can we do that together?
But if I never posted the activities I was doing, these people wouldn't know that I'm doing them.
Is the sad thing I gotta say. I stand it's true. Absolutely, it's so true.
I've used a similar tactic.
If I'm going overseas solo dolo or with one friend and we know you want to go out or go to cool things only locals would know. I'll literally go online and find fellow Blue Tickers and be like, hey, hey, head sign, I'm coming.
Work's a tree.
You gotta be down to be a good time, though, because you can't like proposition someone with friendship and then not shop with like ten out of ten energy.
One first for knowledge and experience and perhaps pay for their dinner. Yeah, do something like that.
It's in exchange, a transaction, but a really one. She's so right in saying, that's Victoria Paris by the way from TikTok, that people are so used to perceiving social media as like a professional landscape. Like if you're posting, it's for work, it's for money. No social network, social media. Your best friend is in the comments of some beef on TikTok right now, go and find them.
They're waiting for you. Oh so like reply to beefy tiktoks and just get in the comments.
Get like a lot of people just are passive participants, you know, like you join the Facebook group to not post anything, Like you see the comments, you screenshot them to send to your non existent group chat get in there.
Oh no not? Oh yay, vibes that up, vibes up interesting interesting chat FLEXI Okay, thanks. I don't know if I'll be doing that, but I will say you got heaps of friends. I try hard, and you really do. Oh it hasn't always been the case. I've been very lonely at certain times and felt like I haven't fit in. So I just want to say, if you feel lonely, like you don't have a group chat or you don't have enough friends, circumstances change. Really popular people can become unpopular.
Oh and it can go vice versa. It's never too late to make friends. That's not that you could fall off. Oh they could fall off and then you could swip in. You're listening to Flex and Frooms on kit FLEXI tell me why I was at a five star dinner oh the other night, a Hubert in Sydney. It's one of the premier dining establishments in Sydney. C bdber it's you bet, it probably is. I don't know though, Like it's one of those things with French or like I Betha. You
feel like an idiot saying I Betha. What would you rather sound like a pompous git saying I Betha or an uncultured swan? I say I befa, And there's just like a little twinkle behind people's eye.
Did you really go for that bath alone? And you would do too?
Facts. I was at this establishment and I was drinking mocktails a bit of a sober moment that night. Tell me why my third mocktail, I hint of egg washes over my whole frontal area of my face. I'm taking so excited for this twenty five dollar mocktail. Go for a little sipsip. The stench of egg is not only in my nose and my mouth, but in the back palate, like festering face. Note it was a base note of straight off egg, and I thought to myself, the egg
is eating too hard. Obviously I put out my story. Somebody swoops in sends me a message, my friend Claire, and what did she say? I think she's in the room and has a microphone.
No you think, oh that you can risk getting salmonella from having raw egg and cocktail.
That is crazy? So this does what happened to you? No? I used to work in a bar. Do you know what the worst thing is?
As someone who's learning how to drink, I've identified my favorite cocktails are an Amorta sour and Scary sour. Amereta sour has a lot of egg white. But I went to this bar once and it's at Aqua Farber, and I was like, I don't know what that is? So I googled it and it's chickpeas. That the liquid of the chickpea that's whisked to give the same flavor profile and depth as the egg white thing.
So let's do that.
So try to poison me.
So just one more question to Claire, the previous bartender. Had you ever given someone please not.
That I'm aware of, No, but we definitely gave them raw eggs.
So if you were to do the math on how many people you could have potentially poisoned, I just don't number out there.
Plenty twelve, No, but I don't know that.
I don't know the stats of how many how often salmonella?
I reckon it's higher than egg Oh yeah, but if I was working.
The bar for about eighteen months, yeah, they're dead, like yeah, six nights a week, making a lot of cocktails.
Why are they?
Why is the egg in there?
I think it's just for the froth, So I actually think it's it's unnecessary. I think you could just shake a bit harder, aqual farber and get the same results.
Shake me harder. That's it. Well, I'm abolishing egg white in drinks. However, someone did give me a tip. They usually put thirty mil egg in there asked for fifteen and it should eliminate the taste. This is flex and froomes FLEXI We are coming off the back of Marty Grant and Pride. It was earlier this month also my birthday month, and so it's a very exciting time for the LGBTQI community as well as my community myself. We got the a lgbtqli l oh part of me. Yep,
the LA community is asexual. And I saw an article during this period that said that around the Mardi Gras area so Oxford Street in Surry Hills where the parade is, they were going to put in little tiny cameras that track our devices as well as the crowd sentiment. And I thought, hmm, this is a very interesting technology. What
did I do? I went to put it straight onto my Instagram story to show the people that you read that you skim, of course, but I read a headline and I thought, oh my god, what an amazing technology. Because I was like, this is like gonna fix crowd crushes. Because you know, we've talked about potokon state constate the observer is the observed, yes, correct, And so you know, I'm thinking this is a fantastic technology because they're going to check what's surviving the crowd. Are people going to
start like piling on? Blah blah blah. Turns out everybody thinks that it's a mass surveillance technique and everyone's mad about it. So of course I deleted it off the story. Did you say it on my story? I didn't. Good.
Good.
I guess now everyone who listens to know that it was that I do endorse me posts potentially damaging news on her story, but nobody sees it.
Did it happen, it not happen precisely. What are your thoughts on this technology?
I think that and it's quite unfortunate, but I don't feel like broadly the big dogs care about us. So I imagine most things implemented have a sinister undertone.
Right, So, while it can be used for.
An objectively good purpose, like to measure crowd control and overall safety, who's making these devices? As we know, like with AI for exams, you got a bunch of white people, or white men in particular, deciding what is normal, what is unsafe, what is safe. They're not seeing it from another lived perspective, and therefore everything becomes really specific and
targeted or an oversimplified narrative. You know, I don't know about you, but like, if I'm really excited with my friends, we'll start yelling and play fighting and like being rambunctious little tweenies that might not be clocked as safe behavior. You know, I'm now a big dog, chat it up when I really am a baby, I might be clocked in a little camera as a dangerous person who knows and then how you meant to fight AI. You know, it's meant to be perceived as like this really sophisticated
technology that knows better than we know. But who made that technology?
Humans? A regular old Joe and Jane facts. I gotta say, I'm not the belief that I think my If I was to be concerned about it, I'd be concerned for my personal safety. But then I remember they don't really give a damn about the individual. Yeah, they're grouping us, and do I care? Life's too short. I'm more concerned about woolwords looking at me while I'm scanning the Nats's onions. Okay, oh you do that. No, I've never actually done that, but they've got their little cameras. Now, I can see
myself while I'm putting things through. I hate it.
Yeah, online shop, but then that, yeah you can't really, but then they have my details. I don't believe in privacy, though I like to enforce the illusion of privacy for my own peace of mind.
Facts and I will say, if you haven't done your ancestry DNA tests, huh, maybe lay off doing that, Leave the DNA out of a fam, keep your DNA to your damn self.
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