Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex and Froomes catch up podcast.
It is Flex and Frooms on CATA. Have you ever had that experience where you dated someone who you now know is a terrible person, but everybody else seems to love them, and any opportunity to say or to set the record straight just feels like a futile experience. They're going to challenge you.
Not.
In the case of Sarah Brady and her ex boyfriend Jonah Hill, comedian, actor, et cetera, et cetera.
Pop culture you missed with Flex and Froomes on Cada, she.
Took to Instagram on a random day to release some private screenshots Choose violence. Yeah, to choose violence, essentially to release some private screenshots from when they were dating. Now, the timing is particularly strange, not to her, but this is off the back of him releasing a documentary. Was his therapist, who Jonah Hill believes has really fortified him as a man and given him these rules for life,
help and be a better person. And then, in addition to Jonahill's also announced that his current partner is pregnant, so a lot of positive pr about him about his weight loss his body transformation, his wellness, his lifestyle change. And she's offered because she has had experiences with him and has accused him being a misogynist and being emotionally abusive to him. Obviously, she's aware that she makes those claims people will refute them. So what she dropped the
screenshots and she said, look for your assaults. Oh now, these screenshots are what we can only describe as horrendous, not just generally, but for the kind of man we have been shown that Jonah Hill is. We've been presented this image of him, of someone who is quite well adjusted, emotionally balanced, self aware, a critical thinker with a high EQ and IQ, and these text messages give us quite a contrary experience to him anyway. So he sends her
a text and basically, Sarah Brady's a surfer. I think we should start with that. So Jonah sends her a text and asks her to take down social media posts of her surfing because she's in a bikini and that's inappropriate.
He's asked her to stop modeling, she's a model. He's asked to cut off friendships with some men and women who are quote unquote in unstable places, he's also asked her to and I quote, if she needs to continue having boundaryless inappropriate relationships with men, if she needs to model, if she needs to post pictures herself in a bathing suit to post sexual pictures, if she needs to maintain friendships with women who are in unstable places, and if
she needs to keep having coffee with these friends, then maybe he isn't the right partner for her. He also wanted to say that he takes issue with surf culture and that them as a couple can't do surf social things or develop any trust until he feels considered by her, and that he also wants her to stop hanging out
with any friends of her that he hasn't personally approved of. Now, she's gone on to say that she's not condemning him and that sometimes being an emotionally abusive partner doesn't mean that you're a terrible person. It often stems from your own trauma. But at the same time, it doesn't mean it's okay, and she feels like that she needs to
say something. She even went as far as to re upload an image that he'd asked her to take down for being too I guess uh for eating too Halladi and it was literally her wearing a loose white shirt and pair of shorts.
Okay, so let's just set clarity. When did they date?
According to people dot Com verified source, Kip Brady, a surfing instructor and law student, made her romance with the Wolf of Wall Street star Jonah Hill public in August twenty twenty one. She said they parted ways sometime in twenty twenty two. It is now mid twenty twenty three. Jonah is with a new person, and this person is pregnant.
I thought this all went down really recently post his documentary.
Which came out. Love to know when it was started in twenty twenty two.
Okay, I don't know what the timeline is with that exactly. Obviously we're a bit sketchy on the details. Yeah, but his documentary was about him getting therapy, go into the therapy sessions with his psychologist. I think it was cool. I didn't finish it because I have a short attention span. But maybe he filmed that as a response to his previous behavior, because I'm pretty sure in the therapy sessions he admits to like bad behavior or he's trying to like fix his own continue.
Can I jump in here please? According to google a, Jonah Hill said in the documentary that he started seeing starts when he was thirty three and he's now thirty nine. Oh see what happens when we're trying to defend men?
Sorry, no, That's what I'm going at.
That is really specialty. I just think if we just, like if we could just figure out the time before we saying, look, what's it?
God, I'm just playing Devil's Avocate. Yeah. Yah, And of course okay, no, I will say I kind of was across this. I first heard about this when it was a meme that was like, this is what I want to do this summer, and it was just a screenshot. I've everything that he said, and I just thought it was like a funny meme. And then later on that's where it's like, that actually sounds like the best summer ever.
Boundary Less Relationships.
A take that I found really interesting was from troung Chola. He is a activist who speaks a lot about male violence, and he did a little carousel moment on Jonah Hill, Sarah Brady and boundaries. And I think, like I've watched a few tiktoks on this, But I think he ate the hardest with his idea, which is essentially that Like, there's a lot of talk about boundaries. Right in those messages,
it sounded like Jonah was asserting his boundaries. But when you're telling someone else how to behave, that's not a boundary. A boundary is being like.
More so, like, these are the standards for my behavior, and if these standards aren't met or not as ultimatum, but here's the context, I can't stay in the situation if my boundaries are compromised.
Sos Trong says, telling someone to stop doing that isn't a boundary, and telling them not to do it as a condition of being with them is also not a boundary. A boundary isn't about the other person. It's about yourself.
Yep. And so no matter how said this on TikTok, they said you're a layo.
Oh you said it.
I didn't make that for the quote. I learned it in therapy. Okay, sorry, I don't to a psychotherapist.
And you know, and so, no matter how quote unquote respectfully you tell the other person about your boundary, the thing is you're not really asserting a boundary if you feel uncomfortable. That's your cue to say to yourself, Okay, so this is who the other person is, this is what they want to do. How does that make me feel? And what am I going to do? The answer is symbol. If you don't like it, it's not your cue to change them.
It's your idea to say, Okay, I'm not fine with that, and then you should work on your issues or yeat away, because.
Really, what's happening in this journ of situation that he's coercing her behavior And I feel like, and I'm going to generalize here in my experience with a lot of men, they don't really understand the difference between coercion and be persuasive. Okay, Like if I just ask enough, like and I'm really convincing, isn't that just being persuades? It?
Like that's just negotiation, right, giving you ten debating?
Yeah, Like if I just tell you what I need again and again, I give you different ways to understand what I need and then you eventually get it. Like I just was really persuasive. But this the way that he is phrasing this message, He's like reinforcing this power that he feels that he should have in the dynamic,
like you should do what I'm asking you. From the way that he's writing this text message, I would imagine that he feels like the victim in this circumstance, like I'm having to deal with you doing all of these things that make me so uncomfortable. So if you, as the person who has the power, can't yield to me in some way so I also can share this power,
then I have to go. And I don't think that he's recognizing in this instance, like he probably has more power than he recognizes and is asking for even more.
And is that from his personal wounds?
Probably? I don't know. A lot of us like victimize ourselves in the way that we request for things to happen, and a lot of us internalize other people's behavior as well.
She's just doing what she does, even like, let's.
Take out any internet commentary we've seen and just talk man to man on this one. I think it's really brave to tell someone what you need, and it's brave to tell someone that what they're doing is making you uncomfortable. Takes a certain kind of shutzpah, Yeah, you know, especially
doing it in a way that's tactful. And respectful. It doesn't make you feel like a little bitch, however, And I think that's why a lot of people are giving Joanah the benefit of the doubt, saying, like, you know, he's not coming to the table for the first time.
It seems it seems like this is a reoccurring issue and he's had to find a thousand different ways to say, hey, don't do this thing that maybe at one point we agreed that you're going to be that you were going to change or be different about and you haven't, and it's hurting my feelings La la Lah. In this instance, however, he's like taking her just existing and qualities and experiences that she probably had well before him and turning them
into personal attacks. So if you need to model, and if you need to surf, and if you need to have interactions with people yourself with that are social, then you can't do this. And the way that he's framed it is that either way, everything she does that is by nature or like default to her is a personal attack on him. You can't build on that. So what she gonna say, I'm gonna stop surfing, gonna stop doing my job for you, I'm going to isolate myself for
my friends. For you, I'm going to make myself appear less attractive to strangers. For you, is this a negotiation or am I under duress? So you made a comment the other day about how watching maths is a really great exercise in identifying inappropriate relationship behavior outside of the context of your own relationship, and for us to all agree as a society that like, this is cooked or
this is good behavior. I think similarly with these text messages, like you mentioned with the bikini models, I think a lot of us have been in situations where where asserting our beliefs or our actions or our preferences onto someone in a way that gives them no option but to do exactly what we want or be be the enemy.
And it's bad when they don't see what's wrong with it. I think unless you're going to explain why, then it just always looks abusive.
Yeah, probably is. Yeah, not just looks is manipulative, which is probably a good reason or a good skill to know number one, when to leave, and to even know before knowing when to leave, like knowing what your actual boundaries are. But I think until we individually figure out what those lines are for us, we're all kind of susceptible to doing this behavior and also being recipients of
this behavior, which is super scary ever evolving. Literally, you've been listening to The Flex and Froom's daily podcast.
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