Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms.
This is the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast.
How Allo welcome if you're on you here, I'm Frumes and opposite me is Flex Mummy looking like for Rucaus salt that Yeah, like you got a little tracksuit moment on. I think she's the one that was the little spoiled brat.
Vibe, but like should I claim it?
Do we have? She's got a fit?
Okay, great, she's giving you think she's in aries Anyway, Guys, we are a radio show you best believe that also has a very successful catch up podcast. We are on break right now.
But our producer Mickey made you are bonus episode, so you don't miss us too much.
The rukasults. How I imagine my kid based on these images? One hundred Yeah problem, that's so pretty.
Yeah, this is.
Flex and Frooms. We are having a hot girl rat summer by we, I mean obviously you, me and Frumena is coming to You might be thinking it is not summer in Australia. It's not, but it's actually summer like everywhere else in the Northern Hemisphere. So it's good to maintain a breast of what's happening in culture, and so I think all of these things can be applied and
should absolutely be applied to the Australian winter. I feel that so strongly in my gut and loins, the ideas that we should be behaving in rat like ways, scurrying places, eating well, being in places we should not be in congregating with the community. This creative made a follow up video and distilled the ethos of Hot Rat Girl Summer into four distinct points, which I will repeat now. Number one, go outside. You might be thinking, I've seen plenty of
rat inside. Maybe you saw a mouse, am I. I don't know if you saw a rat, and if you did, it's time to call your landlord. I can't stress enough how much staying inside is. It's a plague on our our society and culture. Because you stay inside long enough, I'm gonna say four days in a row, you'll never want to go outside again. You'll convince yourself that everything you need remains in your home. And yes, to a point, you know you can't get in your home. The feeling
of meeting a stranger, Yeah, you can't do that. Number two, you have to be eating and enjoying eating. What do we know about rats scuing around having little cheeses, being indulgent, being over indulgent. If I had a block of cheese, would a rat leave half? Never? No way never. There's something also very like ceremonial about eating outside. I don't think you can again conjure that feeling up inside. It starts to get really like everyday pedestrian when it needs
to feel celebratory and ceremonial. Our fresco number three And I don't know if rats do this, but this person said, you need to kill the cringe, kill the part of you that thinks it's too cool to enjoy things. Right taking that selfie in the middle of a busy road, Just do it, babe. You're gonna have the memory wearing
that loud outfit talking to a stranger. All of these things that you've somehow told yourself are just too embarrassing for you to get around being up the front at a gig, in the in the moush in the pit. You know you would you would never do that, You would never do that. Why not? You're a rat. I'm a rat. We're all rats. I like Netflix and number four no overthinking. I like to say, for every degree of overthinking, the action must increase. Wow, I'm an overthinker,
But that doesn't stop the action. If anything, the action quells the overthinking. The issue with overthinking is that the tangents never stop. You open a new door every time, so many possibilities, it's infinite. But as soon as you make a decision, you close a door. You might open a new one, but it's a fresh narrative. So number four is neverthinking. But if you must overthink, quell it with an action.
I like that a lot.
FLEXI well done, period, have a happy hot girl rat summer or winter. And if you don't celebrate, that's okay.
To please nar be dad to your friends.
I was thinking in bed the other day, what are some things that I wish I knew in my early twenties. I feel like, when decades go past, when you're in your thirties, to talk about your twenties, when you're in your twenties, talk about your teens. Let's normalize. Uh oh, doing it like fire every five years when you're checking close enough, you're so close enough to the bomb site to like appreciate the waves, but you're also further enough away to have a little bit of perspective.
So see the beauty in the debris.
That's exactly right, FLEXI. So I've come up with my three personal things that I wish I knew in my early twenties that I think would have.
Saved some time.
Number One, your wait wait for it, ladies, Oh, does not determine your date ability.
Yeah.
In my early twenties, she was dealing, she was going through some things. It was giving a low weight fibe. Okay, and tell me why I went on less dates when I was quote unquote in my perfect body. Yeah, riddle me that girl's Yeah. So if you are currently in your state, we're thinking, oh my god, like I look too much this way, or I'm gonna.
Lose this if I do this.
Trust me, girls and guys or anyone else who experiences this.
I sound like Rihanna.
Oh gender appropriations, No, whoever you are, I.
Truly believe that.
Like, if someone's gonna go shoo, they're gonna go shoe, whether or not you're a size six or a size whatever else.
Yes, it's never like this. That's the real equality. Literally, why a dating experience is so universal, babe, you can't escape. What I will say though, is if you don't trust yourself trust the data. Do you know you don't want to be that girl who's like, oh my god, em
Rada got cheated on, so there's no hope. No, that should excite you in the sense that if this person that your pedestal as the peak of is still experiencing these very human things, what does that tell you that we're all subject to experiencing human things?
Exactly?
It won't. It won't guard you.
It won't safeguard you.
Girls.
Boys.
That's a good thing to learn very quickly, to be affiliate known. Yeah, so I have great stories some of us and a roster of hotties. I'm making out for it now, I think, at least in my own mind. Yeah. Absolutely.
Number two, if you go to UNI, you'll get a hex step. Tell me why I didn't realize when I decided to go to university that hex for a thing.
I don't who didn't tell me, I don't know why the tell everyone made so free.
So weird they didn't mention it. I think it's a I think you.
Like when your parents were young. I feel like it wasn't an option anyway, it was free or something that free.
Here I am in UNI.
I never really failed any subjects just because it's not my style. But there's people out here like swapping degrees, like still finishing degrees.
That's like one hundred of thousands of dollars. So like, if you're still.
In school and didn't be in just increase my seven point reconsider university.
But also if you got I'm serious though.
Literally in my first job, I like left you need to do it, and the boss would always be like, you should just leave UNI. I was like, no, it's like not, you know, It's like I didn't want to like lose this thing that.
I worked really hard for optics.
I should have taken his advice and lastly have conviction, but never say never. So I was thinking the other day in the shower, isn't it funny how at every single point of my life I've thought I was right, but not in a righteous way, Like I never have thought that I've known better than other people. I've just been really clear on like I like this and I like that. I haven't really been wishy washy on certain
moral things. Then tell me why two years after the fact of something, I have a completely different understanding of my life. I love them who I am, and so it's a good thing to realize. Is that doesn't mean don't have conviction or don't believe in certain things because they're going to change, but just be prepared for the personal three sixty, which is both changing your opinion and changing it back and having a new lease of life on that opinion and a new perspective. Prepare for that
however you can. I don't even know if it's possible to.
But it's always coming. Even when you think it's not coming, it's coming. My first piece of feedback, not advice, just feedback, is that you should get into the habit of learning through doing, not observing. When you are in your early twenties, I feel like you get into the habit of thinking you know stuff because you saw some stuff, and you might be thinking, what's the difference. This is what I'm saying.
If you can't tell the difference between learning through observing versus learning through doing, then that's the point in itself. There's a lot of beauty you can get from preparing yourself for the reality of something and shielding yourself from actually having to break your own back to get invested right, so you can observe your friends going to UNI. You can observe a fowled relationship. You can someone buying a house, but when the stakes aren't high, you don't put in
the effort to understand the nu answers of what's involved. Right, So, like, before I bought a house, I was like, how even buy a house? Exactly, babe, they're talking LMI, they're talking taxes twenty percent of what what is? It's twenty percent? And suddenly this thing I felt so adult to do at a big age of twenty eight, I was like, I actually don't have any insight for this. Number two,
I hate to say it, Oh, everything actually matters. I think that people think that being whimsical and fantastical and being someone who's very pragmatic are on opposite ends of the spectrum at all time. You can definitely do both. But I think the thing that high school doesn't prepare you for is all the things that you should be practical about you become whimsical about, and all the things
to be whimsical about you become practical about. So you become you know, friendships should be practical, and then it stays in a whimsy place, and then you're like, well, we're twenty one and we're not friends anymore because there's no recess. It's like, yeah, because you should have been practical about that, about what you want to do when you leave school. Maybe be practical about that. Be whimsy about like jigging one day. It's funny, whimsy, but if
you care about academics, then be practical. I feel as though this whole concept of practical decision making I swear I did not do until I was twenty three hundred percent. I was like, it's whatever, I can just like do a bit at this and do a bit at that. I've got time, and you do have so much time. But what I don't think people say is how you get to spend that time is very indicative of how you spent it. You don't just suddenly learn academia through age.
You don't learn maturity just by existing. You actually have to be practiced in stuff. Things matter and you should figure out if and how and where they matter to you. And number three or what I wish I knew. The behaviors you make around friendship are defined in high school. I really think they are because we come out of high school and expect that these relationships that we want so badly. These friendships are a byproduct of existing, Like if I go to UNI, I should just make friends
because we all go here. If I go to work, just make friends, And it's like, no, there's actually an intention required. And I also feel like we're in denial about the type of friends we are. I was saying to free me earlier. If you've ever been someone who was complicit in someone being kicked out of the group, you were a bully, but you don't want to see it that way. If you created conditional dynamics, you're probably going to keep that with you because who's checking you
to make sure you're switching it up. If you were the friend who always had a best friend, chances are you probably going to maintain that dynamic as you get older, because who's going to break the circuit. You know, if you always had a friend group, or if you in this friend group did stuff on the weekends, you haven't expect So just be mindful that your expectation matches your adulthood. Because people like my friend doesn't call me after work.
She's employed now crazy, she's not alive crazy stuff an ata like she was when you knew her. Best I love it Flex.
Thank you for indulging.
Oh, thank you, bab.
If you have any great tips, send them in to Flex and Frooms at Instagram. I'd like to hear other people's ideas of what they would say to you in the early twenties. I always love these chats, very illuminating.
Yeah, it's like, have fun but also be more serious. Oh, be more serious and be more fun. That's what I would consolidate.
Totally makes sense.
Flex and Frooms on kedas So the Lantic Getti and coming through the Goods didn't article about why we speak more weirdly at home. I think I read this a few months ago, perhaps, But it's the idea that when you're at home, you're speaking different languages and are more comfortable.
What it's like is like so this on when he's.
Talking about how her Turkish American boyfriend, she wanted to impress him and find out the way to say happy birthday on his special day. So she learned some of the new vocabulary and there's like numbers and animals and months to wish him. I'm not going to try and say it, but the Turkish way of saying happy birthday, And she said it incorrectly while they drank like pigs in his tiny apartment. And now more than a decade later, they still use that.
Word, the incorrect phrase. Oh that's sweet, so don't we love?
I say, get more words in your own language incorrect, and then you can all have a secret language. I find it here on this podcast. I'll missay something. Flexie would definitely repeat it back to me. Yeah, what is a small form of bullying. But I think we're quite worthy.
People like for me and I very quick to nickname people to kind of like add a flare to language, and we don't really pick and choose when that's done professionally. Personally, it's all going to be there. I think it's nice to know. But it's also easy to see when we're influencing other people. When it's no longer weird anymore. Other people are using the nicknames or accepting the way that we say things or do things. It's like, this is what happens. We are a plague and we are insecting
at rapid rates. It is true, and I love that.
I think this is what really sets certain movies and TV shows apart. You can tell when someone who likes that stuff writes a dialogue because it's successful, because not when they do comedies like I'm pretty sure I've whatt Shit's creak, and they talk to each other like how you actually talk.
To your siblings. I think sometimes it's like people go into I've never really been in a writer's room for a fiction, go.
Hey, sis, hey my top back.
Usually you're just saying, can you get my top now?
Now, you effing b I'm so sick of you. I'm super sick of this vibe. My sister's kissing me off. So when what it actually say is my sister's a demon, she's a rabid wheel debase. But no, we're worried the audience won't get it, Yeah, but they always get it quickly before we go to our break. That's the issue
I had when I was writing my first book. This like constant back and forth between like the big dogs, the editors the book people being like people won't understand, and I'm like the person who I'm writing this for understands. If I'm saying this girl is being a demon, I don't need to specify from which culture was she in?
Gin?
Was she?
It's clear?
Don't make me explain their why I let to spell it out. She was actually gonna sell a way. But there is.
An application called Grinder. It is probably as infamous as Tinder in that it was one of the original apps, predominantly for men who like to have relations with men. I don't know much about it. I'd never even actually seen the interface, despite having many what literally, I've.
Never seen the Internet is very surprising to me.
Having many.
Friends, okay, I had never once looked inside them until I was walking on the street with a friend of mine anonymous.
Anonymous, So there is no shame in being on Grinder.
There's no shame in dating.
Seriously, guys, but it's not really dating. According to this person, he gave me the rundown on what Grinder is all about. I'm just going to play the tape, so we are just on a walk in von day and tell me about Grinder.
Well, I was showing Lucinda aman'sa's and then Lucinda asked what his name was and I didn't know, and listener was shocked about that. But then I explained that when it comes to Grinder, you don't really know anyone's names, like you can choose to write your name in the header but not many people do. Most people just write like come.
Dump Twink.
Because there's just this anonymity on the app that is different to Tinder and Hinge, a bit of a subversion from the normal dating apps where they're so personal. But when it comes to Grinder, it's like the antithesis of that. It's all about the anonymity. People don't really care about each other's info. They just walk.
I see, it's just like I first heard about the concept.
Well see, that's interesting to me because I feel like, of course, in contrast to Grinder, traditional online dating feels personal, but I don't think it is either. Really. I feel like you give a lot of information, but I don't think it's personal because even how you choose to frame yourself is done like through the lens of what will appeal most other people. It's very rare that people are curating profiles that are as accurate of a reflection of
who they are as a person. I feel, no, you you had a round table to make your pro the same, and you know what it was important. It was important. I feel like Grinder works because it's like threaded into the way that gay people are socialized to date each other, right but the way that heteros are socialized date, all of the information is almost like collateral, so you have
to like step up to what you're offering. For example, like people are so aware of like the disparity between like heterodating and like women do this and men do this, and I'm putting in this and you're taking this that even before you get to finding someone you want to match with, you're acutely aware of what the exchange is and you want it to be fair or you want to be getting more than you're giving, which means that any information you put on your profile is just to
say I'm worth what I'm asking for.
Yes, I feel that most. That's why I cover up on my arm, on my hinge. The first picture of me, I'll show you flex, show me the hinge. Tell me why I've got this beautiful picture covered up the tatars ah because.
It's like a payball.
Don't boobs just because it's like the boobs are really present the photo.
I don't want that to be the first thing.
And it's a great photo of you.
It's a good photo that looks like me yesified, yeah, yes, fied.
But that's what flashotography will do to you, you know, is that not what I look like? It is what you look like, but not every day, and you probably look like that on a date as well.
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