Flex and Frooms Flex and Firms. This is the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast.
Flex and Frooms on Caita with another am I the asshole source from the internet. Thank you for your servers, all these people who go through terrible things and take the time to tell us about them. Am I the asshole for not inviting my unsupportive sister to my wedding.
Here we go.
I'm twenty four, a woman. I got engaged to Derek. Are we doing names? Yeah, who's thirty and a man. I got engaged to him one month ago. Prior to that, we had known each other for six months. I know that's not a long time, but when you know, you know we're madly in love and ready to commit ourselves to each other fully. That's what I would do. My sister, who's twenty six, so two years older than me, has
a problem with that. She was supportive of my relationship with Derek before we got engaged, and when I sent her a text telling her where engaged, she responded by saying congratulations. But then when I saw her the week after that, she got all serious and said I should strongly reconsider the marriage. She told me I was young and could meet people I loved more. That's fair. That was offensive to me because I love Derek more than anything,
and she's basically saying my love isn't that important. She also told me that Derek and I could date for longer before he got married, but we're already fully committed to each other, so we might as well get married and be recognized as soulmates in the eyes of the law. Can I get a hurrah?
Oh?
Anyway, the conversation was so hurtful to me. I eventually asked her very directly, do you support me marrying Derek? She said no, so I stood up, told her she shouldn't be at the wedding if she didn't want us to get married, and left. I haven't talked to her since, although she has texted me multiple times asking to talk. Derek and I were working on the wedding guest list yesterday and we both agreed my sister should not come if she doesn't support us, so we're planning to not
invite her. I mentioned this to my friend yes today and she pointed out that it may be a little rude of me not to invite her. So am I the asshole for not inviting my unsupportive sister to my wedding.
I'm gonna say, life's too short to beef with the siblings. Guys, when this marriage does end, there's over a fifty percent chance love. Let's be real, like small businesses as well. Yeah, it's hard for everyone. I would say, hate her advice. I'm all for the long engagement. Okay, draw out that period. It's one of the most fun of your life. Not speaking from experience.
Is that a joke or you are? Have you been engaged?
No? Okay, but I can imagine, like I'm excited for that time of my life.
You've done visualization before you get it. Yeah, I feel Look, I'm with you. I do think life's too short to be beefing. And this sounds like a bit of premature beef. It sounds like your sister went to you, women to women and was like, hey, babe, are we for real? Like are we doing this? And then clearly because as we all get in relationships in those early stages, you get defensive, you get territorial, you feel misunderstood, and that's not a good feeling. And what we need to avoid
is doubling down when there's no need to. Right I think that what we can all benefit from doing is not respectability politics. You know, it's okay to be annoyed when you're annoyed. It's okay to be like, you're pissing me off when you're being pissed off. But in this instance, I think we could apply a bit more neutrality. She's gonna be your sister before or after this wedding period. Unfortunately that man will be your husband and then your
ex husband period. So what you should do have a chat with her and be like, hey, like it's really rubbed me the wrong way, but I don't want to do this, Like it's killing my vibe, it's soiling my experience. Just know you've hurt me come to the wedding, but like me and you, we've got stuff to work on. And leave it at that. She can spend the next couple of months like rebuilding slowly, but you can like park that and work on your new relationship.
That's very sage advice. It's hard to do in oh, definitely, but if you can do that with your siblings or your friend or anyone else in your life, it's a really great learning curve.
Beef in a chill way. I like beefing in a chill way. It's like we can beef and not be like throwing things across the room. It's like beef politely. I don't like you right now, not you, I'm picturing someone in my head. I don't like you right now, but I don't have the energy to make everyone else's life uncomfortable. In addition to hating you, you.
Know, I love that You've been listening to the Flex and Rooms Daily podcast. For more, tune into Cater on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.