On Flex and Frooms Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast.
Am I the asshole for not apologizing to a girl I used to bully? That's the question we're answering today on Flex and Frooms. Listen to this. This was a rather awkward experience. Please help me if you see this and let me know if I was indeed being an ass I am thirty years old a woman, and I saw an old high school friend let's call her Anne. She's also thirty. I saw her at work. I'm a doctor and her friend has been in my care for
quite some time now. After Anne knew who I was through her friends, she said she wanted to come in and say hi. With Anne's persistence, I agreed to grab a cup of coffee with her over my break. We talked about the old days and all. She said she had a husband and two kids, and after Anne asked, I told her I now had a wife and a four year old daughter. At first, she was very excited and asked her she could see some pictures, so I
showed her a few. After that, she laughed and told me how ironic this whole thing is, given the fact that I used to bully her back in the day. Back in high school, Anne was more or less of a tomboy and I was a cheerleader. I didn't know any better, and I used to be quite cold towards her. I unfortunately didn't say anything when my friends would talk about her sexuality. They used to tease her for being gay, even though she wasn't. I went along with it and
didn't say anything. I was also rude and judgmental. I'm not at all proud of the way. I was quite the opposite, actually, However, I never made any comments myself bystander. I was a silent bystander, which is also horrible, but I just wanted to clarify. I said I was deeply sorry for not being a good friend back then, and then I apologized. I also told her I was a confused, closeted girl who had no idea what she wanted. I didn't know what I wanted pretty much until I met
my wife later. I said, I wish you could take it back and make it up to her, and she told me she got an apology only after she found me and asked me why I hadn't tried to apologize to her through social media. I don't use social media much. I simply said I was sorry, didn't know any better, and I honestly didn't think she'd want to hear any of this anyway. She called me an entire idled asshole capitals who could get whatever she wanted from life, and
said I should have apologized a long time ago. She then left and told me she genuinely hoped I was a better human because my wife and daughter deserved better than the person I was back then. Was I indeed the asshole?
Bringing the wife into this is a low blow. I've got to say, I think bullying in high school really affects people. I don't want to say it doesn't.
However, I start with that why she's like, let's get out of the no no, no, no bullying. Yes exactly, it's not okay, it's not great.
But I will say I think sometimes bringing up like I think some people's reaction for like stuff that happens to them is to repress it. And so if you were to come as a thirty year old woman and say hey, like I'm so sorry after the fact, I feel like it could be bringing up memories that they've tried to forget about. And it would remind them of what they were like then and how they felt. Like.
We've all had stuff happened to us that we just wish that we could forget because it hurts, because someone hurt us. So don't incriminate yourself.
Never apologize number one. Number two, if someone's asking you for an apology, reflag no, Okay, for real, I really I had quite a good time in high school, and even I'm like, let's not bring it up, like, let by gones speak by gones. Let friendships lay to waste
unless we're still close. I don't really want to be interacting that much with people who went to high school with and I don't to be rehashing old stories from ten, twelve to fifteen years ago and then having to bring them to the surface and pretend they're relevant and then apologize I'm not personally doing it. I think that in this instance, the way it escalated has told you what
you needed to know. I feel like if you had reached out, probably would escalate it in the same way she was sitting on a bad boy piece of information. She's like, wait a second, you mean to tell me she was waiting on it.
It's a shame though, But I will say, given that the sexuality is a part of it. And now the woman who is bullying this woman for supposedly being gay is gay.
Well, she wasn't bullying her, she was having her being bullied.
Ah, but he is being an observer being a bullied. I'm not sure, but I will say in Kelly Rowland's song Stopt, we just gotta listen to the lyrics. She wishes, she said something she does and someone had the hands in the Marilyn Monroe for prints at the Chinese Theater, Let that sink in.
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