Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast. It's Flex and Firms Welcome back to the potty such play to have you here? Flex and Firms on Kita. So the other day a man beat a mobile phone driving charge which you can lose five demerit points, so don't play this Sydney driver thirty five years old. Turns out he was actually trying to eat a packet of dippets, which I don't know which is worth.
Are you legally allowed to be one hand off the wheel so you can.
Spreadable cheese? It dippets? Or was it the snack of cocting reports different?
Was it a it's it's a nationwide confusion. Is it cosy a bikini? I think it's that type of thing.
And this has got me thinking, flexi cheese. What an underrated snack? Everyone, If you're listening and thinking, damn, this is based white girl.
Millennials coming out cheese wine.
No, I'm not speaking about the cheese and wine era. Okay, we're back in the proson moment. Okay, I'm talking about a snack that is considered not cool. A bigger stringer, for example, or a snack. My housemate is a Belle is currently training to run a marathon. What does that mean? She must edit her dietary requirements, needs more snacks. She has founded a snack called Happy Cow. It is like a sorry sorry, put some respects on Happy Cow's name.
Please flex Happy Cow. It's this like cardboard circle, right, and you open up the cardbird circle and there's like eight little snack cheeses in pizza portions. Right. Then you undo the foil and inside is a three cheese mixture. This cheese is soft. It's a mix of three cheese. It's like a fondant, a fondu. I've been eating them as a snack at three pm because I alternate between the lint hazel up block. I get a big kilo thing that I just chop off a row every are though,
but I thought it doesn't fill me up. It gives me with a sugar high. I'm gonna pivot to the cheese. Give it a go. Absolutely loving my Happy Cow eight piece pizza based snack.
We'll heard you the first time, babe the Happy Cow edging for that spino.
I would also is eat more cheese, guys. It's a really good it's really good for calcium, and it's a healthy feeling snack. It's good protein as well. Don't think it's great for period cramps though they say that. But who told you that the internet? Don't trust the Internet.
And if you're a mucasy babe like I can be sorry, you're freaking me out. The throat mucus clearing throat thing happens when your dairy consumption is high. Allegedly, I'm not no wheb MD. I'm just a humble woman.
It's giving, not human encoded. Okay, you get some signs up your How do we.
Actually tell if we are or someone else is emotionally unavailable? We will tread lightly with this topic because we don't want to armchair diagnose anyone. We do it, we will, we will, but take that as your disclaimer. I don't want to censor myself, but you should censor what you
choose to hear from what we will say. Moving forward, Refinery twenty nine just dropped an article called how to tell if You're chasing someone who's emotionally unavailable, which I think most people should get around because we, I say we as a society, we who date often confuse blatant disinterest with an avoidant.
Attachment style with emotional unavailability, don't get it to same, and they are different things and we should know how to discern between them. The article references Lily not me twenty three, I'm twenty nine, you're twenty five, babe, okay status sexual relationship with someone which she hoped would turn more serious and romantic over time, but just ended up constantly disappointing her A tale as old as time, She said, Between the constant pendulum swing, did I write this pendulum swing?
That's that's a flex code of phrase.
Between the constant pendulum swing, between him showing me intense affection and then completely ignoring me, and a complete inability to tell what he was thinking at any given time, it started to become pretty clear he wasn't interested or
was just incapable of committing so. Therapist Maria Sosa, who's holistically Grace on Instagram, explains that we often mistake signs of emotional unavailability for excitement and chemistry and mystery, right like, are they hard to get a hold of because they're just busy people? Or are they not available for you? I will say it's a futile task of fool's errand to try and discern or to try and tell what someone is thinking. You will never be right because humans
are contradictory and fickle at the best of times. So the article then goes into how to tell if someone is emotionally unavailable based on how you respond to them, which I think is healthy and helpful. So one, you get really excited at the slightest bit of affection because they don't usually show you any So they're holding a hand, You're freaking out. You get unusually excited when they reach out and talk to you because they rarely do.
You drop all of.
Your plans to hang out with them when they finally suggest it, or they aren't too busy for you.
Not good.
You feel like you're constantly trying to figure them out or navigate their changing moods. You're constantly asking your friends and family to help decipher their behavior or their intentions. I feel like that's a great framework. Should we call someone emotionally unavailable because of that? They could just not like you. Yeah, let's be careful not to brand people things. Let's just assess how we feel in response to them. What I want to discuss those is thought I was
having when reading this article by Refinery twenty nine. The article in case you want to go check it out for yourself. It's called how to tell if You're chasing someone Who's emotionally unavailable. It's an easy read three to five minutes you have it. It made me think, are people becoming more emotionally unavailable the longer they choose to date? Now? What is for certain? When you are dating there is bound to be disappointment. Not everyone that you have a
crush on eventuates. Not to say that that's a bad thing or a good thing. But I don't know if we as a people have developed enough resilience and enough emotional intelligence to accept that for what it is and move on. I imagine for a lot of people, after any failed dating interaction, you build another brick, another wall, another barrier that makes you less able to participate in dating freely or with a sense of openness, maybe even
bit of a naivity. I feel it's really easy to be like, I know what's happening next, I know what's going to happen, I know how this ends, when really you don't.
You don't.
But with that being said, do you agree with my analysis? Or the question I've post.
Well, I think you can go either way. You can go either two extreme ways. You can become totally walls down, because I don't if you're not desper but like you know what you want so badly that you're more open to different people that you originally wouldn't be, So I think the walls are down. But also, yeah, like you said, I think it's only a human to want to protect yourself when you've been hurt time and time again.
I've mentioned before that I don't like to tell people who they are, but I do like to call out behavior if it's requested of me.
Oh yeah.
And so a friend was basically establishing some parameters of what had happened in a dating circumstance, and I said, sounds like you're emotionally unavailable, because like what you're doing is very aligned with the people you are dating, and you would brand their behavior as being emotionally unavailable, to which she said, well, what even is that?
Then?
What is emotional? Aren't we aren't we all emotionally unavailable? Which I said, potentially, let's look up some key characteristics in case you don't want to Google, because I live on Google. I don't mind being here a little bit longer every day, cheapest creepers emotional. Here's a hack on how to google emotional emotionally unavailable characteristics.
I think we know what they are. I don't think emotionally unavailable is a thing that exists. Don't make me say, do you.
Think it's more like a response to a situation as opposed to something you can identify as we're not therapists, but you know, to the wrong person, I might come across as emotionally unavailable, I just don't like you. Yeah, This idea of avoiding commitment or labels things staying really surface, keeping you at arm's length, struggling to empathize, being really unclear about what you want or what you're able to give, getting defensive, being inconsistent, not knowing how much to trust
or if you can trust. And also I think the big kicker is not being able to provide what you expect. You know, like, in order to maintain a certain level of availability, you need to be available, not come with.
The games and the walls and be like, I.
Don't know why they're not responding.
I do, yeah, and games forget games, guys. But also sometimes you need to have some games. Oh, I have a bit of fun. Let's be real.
You're listening to flex and Frooms on Kaita and A Winter has a message for you.
What is it so interesting to me how people dress when they come in for interviews And sometimes you feel they're wearing clothes that they just bought that morning or maybe the night before, and not something that in any way suits their personality and who they are. And I think what everybody should remember, whether they're interviewing at Vogue or indeed anywhere, that we're not hiring your wardrobe. Always remember a young man who came in in a dress and a handbag and I gave him the job on
the spot. You have to dress for yourself, and it's the same for any job that you might be going for. I think it doesn't do yourself a service.
Oh Fumy is not happy. Form is not happy. Spaen me the details, Anna, expectfully, you were in the devil wes Praduct. Whether or not you co sign that is not for me to know. But the whole thing is about her reinventing herself. Paul, what's her name? And Hathaway and Hathaway Okay, that's traumatic to watch. Nah, all I'll say is Anna Wintour. You've got me fossil, Yeah, FRUMI looks pissed off. I don't very often this emotion is coming from. I think it's the idea that like that
you need to change for somewhere like folk. Yeah, they create fashion. I feel like, oh yeah, it's like going to fashion Week in Australia. You think, oh my god, I've got to wear something different. It is environment that they've created, so telling people to come as they are. We wearing a blue sweater is somehow not fashionable. Never forget the frumby sweater like spare me. It's confusing.
We've talked a lot about how I feel like people are in denial about how much their appearance is a deal breaker and how much you know, aside from all of the other things your gender, your race, your socioeconomic status, A lot of that can be perceptively or perceptually bypassed by looking a certain way. Right. Somehow people forget racism exists. If you're a rich billionaire and black, surely it mustn't right. Kanye talks about it constantly, But in this instance, Anna,
come on, let's not feed people. These comers, you are lies. It's never worked before, it's not gonna work today, okay, And it's not something that people have permissioned to do. Anna herself dresses in a uniform. Yeah, has maintained a very specific way of being. I'm sure you don't get up like that with a fresh bob Manolo Blanix and a shift dress every day. You've chosen a very specific aesthetic.
It's giving Lord, fuck wad not just.
Kidding, no no, no, no no no. But in this instance, I do agree, however, with the idea that you can tell and people are putting on an aesthetic right now. It'd be surprising. I get a lot of hate on the internet right but the way people can call me out for outfit repeating, I'm so surprised by babes, I'm aware this fit again and again and again and again people actually do that.
Oh you love that jacket? Flex?
Oh you love that? Yeah, babe, I bought it. It looks what I'm gonna keep wearing it. I'mlike, miss, I'm going to Europe in six weeks. Help me get a new wardrobe.
Please to me. Just think guys, oh never free me flex and Frims on Keida. It's flex and frims on kit FLEXI. I've been reading a book called Stolen Focus. It was given to us by a manager, and I do have a tendency to play on my phone in meetings, so it was a targeted at the time. However, I'm reading the book and I'm quite enjoying it. It's by a man called Johann Hari. He is a British British, a British Swiss writer. And you know what, I was meant to bring the book in to read a passage today.
My focus was stolen because I had been making tariarchy be if I had a lot of taboy to bring in. Okay, Anyway, I was reading a passage. It really gripped me. The other day he spoke about a concept called the message is the medium. This was coined by a philosopher society I don't know who in the nineteen sixties, right, and it told us about how the way that you receive a message is the message in and of itself. So
take for example, television. Yes, you receive things on the television and you see it in the television mode, right, yep. This also applies to writing. If you read something on the internet, it's a very different experience to reading something in a book, and the way you read it changes. So when you read on the internet, you skim. When you read in a book where you have to be plugged in, you skim read books too. Yeah, but that's because you've spent too much time reading the internet and
I read first. Okay, you don't know me, mates, I'm a protient.
I'm no brit To be fair, I was a fast reader turned skim reader.
You're not retaining any information at this point.
Says you from googles. How to pronounce Yohann hurry, Yohann hurry, Yohan hurry comes on air, Yohan har.
Any information I told you I never remember? Saying I never remember them? It makes me look bad anyway. The point of this is, this is why he has beef. Dare I say with social media? He's not he's not a massive fan of social media, and he discusses how things like Instagram and TikTok.
She said, I'm not retaining any information.
Not only are you reading the book called Focus, you've forgotten to bring the book because your focus was stolen and not even trying to conjure up any information.
About the book.
He's got beef with the internet.
I can't talk about it.
Listen.
He's not going to watch this because he's not on Instagram. But I don't read the book. I'm enjoying it. Just an anything the book.
Please.
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