13. What fiving means to me (part 2)

First, more thoughts on the enneagram frame as I experience it:  

- Subtypes/instinctual variants: self-preservation (individual), sexual (one-to-one), and social (collective). My attention stack goes in that order: self-preservation first—so I'm a self-preservation subtype of the 5—then sexual, then social. These days I'm focusing more on the social level after leaving it on the back burner for a long time. What does your stack look like? 

- (un)fiving: using the enneagram to facilitate change, self-awareness, and acceptance  

- 5 things: reading/consulting a bunch of books and having a ton of browser tabs open at any given time  

- 5 thing: using imagination to both escape and complement tangible reality  

- 5 thing: disappearing, minimizing my presence when I’m stressed or people around me are stressed (and I get the sense I can’t help or have reached the limits of my helpfulness)  

- 5 thing: carrying an implicit belief, from the deep past, that I shouldn’t take up space (because I’m not worthy, it’s selfish, it would impose on someone else, yada yada yada—minds make up stories like it’s their job)  

- 5 thing (moving toward 8): learning to boldly take up my space, assert my opinions and desires, ask for what I want and need, accept kindness (maybe even compliments, but that feels harder—more on trust soon!) and generosity from others  

Also:  

A nod to Martha Beck and a small instance of synchronicity / good timing amidst the exhaustion of parenting a toddler.  

Appreciation for a kind stranger in a purple sweater.  

Gratitude for the sentiment of “no rush”, forever and always.  

🌸 

I would absolutely love to hear from any other fives, five-adjacent, five-curious, or really anyone inclined to share about if and how these themes play out in your lives too.  

Find me on Instagram @un.fiving 

Music by Sleeping At Last  

Production by me, Monica Bahan 

Accompanying photos on Instagram @un.fiving