10. Dismantling personality, building self
Episode description
A brief follow-up to Episode 9. A reflection on some of the ways I fostered a healthy relationship to self, and how that was necessary for engaging with the enneagram of personality as a channel for growth.
Before you deconstruct your ego you have to build a robust relationship to self so you have somewhere to stand while you do it. I don’t mean developing a static sense of a static self—quite the opposite. It’s about developing a dynamic and ever-evolving set of practices and perspectives concerning Self, your selves’ observable behaviors, acceptance and change.
Now is the best time to start. Begin, continue, begin again.
Mentioned in this episode:
- The Avett Brothers band and their song Shame
- Noting and labeling practice to get to know one’s internal processes (a practice I learned as taught by Shinzen Young)
- The refractory period of an emotion Self-compassion (particularly the work of Kristin Neff)
- Ellen Langer’s (very American) definition of mindfulness as a flexible cognitive state in which one is able to perceive and process new information
- A popular, secular Buddhist definition of mindfulness as a state of intentional and nonjudgmental attention to the present moment (I think this may have originated with Jon Kabat-Zinn, whose book Full-Catastrophe Living was one of my most powerful introductions to formal meditation practice; I can’t recommend his work highly enough)
- Barbara Fredrickson’s broaden and build theory
- The field of Behavior Analysis and the book Self-Directed Behavior by David L. Watson and Roland G. Tharp (I used the tenth edition) for changing behavior
- Sam Harris’ Waking Up app
Let me know what resonates and what you want to hear more about.
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Background photo by me, Monica
Music by Sleeping At Last
Production by me, Monica Bahan
Accompanying photos on Instagram @un.fiving