Yami, you mob. Welcome to First things First. I'm Maddie Meals. My pronouns are.
He and him, and I'm brook Blurt and my pronouns are she and her.
Before we get started, we'd like to acknowledge the custodians of the land in which we record, and for me that's surroundery people of the cooler.
Nation, and for me that's the gaigle people of the ur nation.
Let's get into it.
Let's get into it. Well, we were just talking earlier about maybe read vamping our intro. H what do you think we should say, like, let's have a little workshop live here right now.
Well, I guess it comes back to why we started this podcast, and I think first things first was a rebrand to set the record straight.
And I think you know our intro is like, yeah, you may know me from a B C or D Y is all right?
If people, if people, if you, what do you think people know you from? Give us a spill.
I honestly, well, yeah, the Bachelor, Bachelorette, Bachelor Paradise.
The Challenge.
They might know me from my youth work, they might know me from a speaking event. I don't fucking know, honestly, there are so many worlds that I'm entering into. They might know me just from going to the same coffee shop.
Fuck no, I think the intro is, Hi, welcome to First Things First. You think you know me, but let's get there. But you don't know you don't take a listen, Yeah.
Like how do we hook line and you know, grab people in. But I mean, if you've been a loyal listener from you know, from the get go, you know that a lot of things have changed, but we haven't changed. We've probably grown, but where they're still the same people when we start the pod, And I think you know, what we want to set the record straight in certain in certain things is what we've learned, like what we're learning and what we want to unpack.
Like, well, my intro would be welcome to First Things First. You might know me as Brook Blurton's co host and friend.
Shut up whatever I can list off of things and presenter.
Fucking hot body, yady yaddy.
I mean look get.
Away host, get away Yeah.
I mean look, I mean I haven't done get Away in a little while. I'm feeling like that needs to just like drift off into the distance. But I'm having a really good meeting next week with Channel nine. So I felt like I was going to let get Away go and now I'm meeting with like the big big wigs over at nine to figure out some presenting opportunities with the network. So I'm like, okay, okay, they want me back.
Oh my god, I'm actually talking about I guess, you know, moving into different spaces and growth and like, you know, all of it.
I had a sudden revelation.
Right of the theory of things in sevens. So seven years, like every seven years, like you shift and you change and you're kind of completely different, you know, a different person. You can be a different person after a year, like
it doesn't really matter. But there's a thing about sevens and I was reflecting and I was like, wow, yeah, Actually, when I think about it, every seven years I've had huge pivotal moments or I've reflected back to those times and I'm like, yeah, I was a complete different person to like that person seven years before that.
Isn't that crazy? Is this a thing?
Like seven years is a long time. If you don't change, I'd be a little bit concerned.
But it's like you it's like you move into like honestly like not quoting Sierra, but I literally feel like I'm leveling, no, leveling up, level up? Why do just that backwards?
No, I'm level I'm leveling up every well, you would hope, So, like I think I'm leveling up every fucking week after therapy. But I just think, like what I'm into this now, this next seven year erar is what I'm focused on, is that you know, it's like seven fourteen, twenty one, you know, twenty eight, so twenty eight was a cutoff for me and I'm twenty nine. So I'm in this like you know, this twenty nine era into my thirties.
But like you're in your Satin return.
I'm in my Satin return. I don't know if people believe in Cutain return, but there is something in it that I do innately believe in because it's.
Like I believe in it.
Yeah, it's like you come to yourself and then people always say, like when you kind of get around thirty, like you're well assured of yourself, right, you're you know what you want, You're you'd hope, So I mean, or you've you're on the way of figuring that out.
Who knows, I don't know.
I think.
I think my friend started a podcast called Figuring Out thirty because it's such a like unique experience. People put so much pressure on that number, particularly or that age particularly, Like so it's like.
What did you want by thirty?
Hmmm, good fucking question, good quessures.
I feel like, what do you want? Well? I I imagined that a success for me was like this is how I when I was a young person, I imagine that success was gonna happen for me quite young, and didn't and didn't quite happen how I imagined it. But like, I feel like I'm on my way, and I always thought that things would happen for me in the younger parts of my life, like I'm talking like early twenties, okay, And I didn't really I suppose, like consider the stepping
stones towards success. I just thought it was going to happen, right, And so it's been a journey and there's been you know, step by step, and the trajectory hasn't been as steep as i'd like, but it is on its way up. And I feel like I have appreciated the slow burn of success a little bit more than I thought I would. So I thought I would have a lot more by a lot more success than I have by this age.
But that doesn't deter me from like continuing to like push forward for what I want because I feel like when I was younger, I thought thirty was a long long way away.
We are entering into dangerous territory, which I like to call Gemini season.
Gemini season. Oh, I am fully equipped. I'm not ready.
No, I'm already.
Nah, I am ready. I am ready, like for real, but.
Literally just magining these fucking Gemini made.
Yeah, I love you, I love you.
But I'm such a Gemini as well. Like I mean, I feel like I either am really nice or two faces. Uh yeah, I trust me, I can be and I'm happy to admit it. It can be nice one minute and then yeah, but it is a.
Queer person to be fair, Like not to overgeneralize, but like you know, they're great queer people out there, But I just generally think like there is this little muscle that we have that's, like I say.
Myself, I like to flex it sometimes.
Yeah, I love judgment. I just feel like I'm like spot on Gemini because like I'm either really nice and kind and I really love you. But if you cross me like the like harshly. Then I go to the other end and I'm like noah, but I'm not more indifferent, like I see through you. It's like I don't care, but for sure I can see that. Yeah, Like I'm definitely like a Gemini Gemini, and I think I don't
know if it's a good thing or not. But I mean, how I was born, So what am I gonna do change to be a Taurus?
True? I know. I mean I do love tourists men.
Do you My ex was a Taurus.
I do love him.
It's stubborn. He was stubborn.
Yes, that's our worst trait as Earth signs, I think have a common trait of being a little bit more stubborn.
Yeah yeah, yeah, I mean, look, I don't know, I feel like it is Gemini season. I'm ready to I don't know, like let my Gemini out.
Yeah.
Well, okay, so going into I guess the characteristics of Gemini, and then I guess, you know, while we're just so drawn to people and then we sort of categorize them into star signs, and you know, we don't mean to box them, but I think that I think we're always trying to look for answers or validation of why a person is the.
Way that they are, right, Like, I know that I'm what they would describe as a triple Capricorn.
And my friends, do you remember when we first started this podcast and I said to you, what the fuck is a triple Capricorn?
So the and we haven't come back to that ever, I don't think in like, yeah we haven't.
This is what is it?
Holy fuck?
What is the sign of a Capricorn? Is it like a horse? No?
No, we're groats' so greatest of all time?
Yeah, you're a goat. Oh god? Why did I picture mister Thuminus like human? And what are they called thawns?
Yeah? Yeah, now I'm thinking Lord of the Ring Ship. I'm going down big rabbit hole. So you have your your normal sons. Literally funny if you've even Dobby in the.
Socks his mascot wants his sock fucking gum tree date.
That was so funny.
That is so funny.
That's one of our best episodes. I swear, Oh.
The gum tree date.
Yeah, that's fucking hilarious.
What's his sock back?
Oh my god, no, no, it's fucking funny. So you have your normal sign and then you have your sun and moon rising. So pretty much like there's this art that places, so you put your birthday in your where you were born and what time, and it places and it kind of determines where the sun and then where the moon was in that time. So and that kind
of then gives you like these characteristics. And Okay, my recent homework was from my therapists was to look at my previous relationships and then look at patent characteristics that
I look for in a person. And yeah, and I was starting to do the work and I sort of unpacked that this morning and it was just such a it was such a heavy session, but it was actually so valuable because it's like how it's actually then made me reflect how I see myself rather than what I see in others, and how much I need to feel seen and I need to feel validated in ways in relationships, and I guess like being a triple Capricorn per se also helps me feel validated in a way as well,
because the traits that a Capricorn carries, like I identify with them, like it's not just because they're written down on a piece of paper, like I will look at those different traits like driven, I'm partly stubborn, yes, motivated, and also like you know, it has a bit more deeper meaning where I don't let people in as lightly, Like you know, there's there's hesitation, you know, and it's
quite spot on and it's quite specific. And I don't know if you've ever really done a lot more work into what a Gemini and.
What I haven't. But what I want to do right now is look up, what is my Gemini message for today? Okay? Okay, the Gemini message today? So your horoscope? All right, So I'm gonna read out my horoscope for today. Okay. Is there some material need weighing on your spirit right now? Gemini? If you can't see how to solve the problem alone, why not discuss it with your friends? They may have some ideas. Today, the word impossible has been banished from
the English language. Take advantage of the opportunity to look for solutions in unlikely places. Oh that's cryptic as fuck. This is why I don't do this shit. I'm so over that already, Like, tell me what I need to hear. Don't go around this whole like woo woo, witchy shit like the word impossibility is banished from the English language. No, it isn't.
I think I think you need to download costar and I think it'd be so much more spikes.
I would, But my mum doesn't know when I was born. Jo't no for real? I asked her.
She was like, call the hospital.
Call the hospital, do you think.
Yeah, one, you might have to do a freedom of information form, but call the hospital.
Wow, the hospital can tell you what time you were born.
Yes, they can look at your record stelling. But you have to do a form because you obviously have to prove that you are.
And you're like, you know what I've done that, I've done all my I want to protection.
Records, like when were you born?
Five point fifty five in the morning?
Oh my god, why the fuck did this number just come into my mind? When I asked you when were we born? The first thing that popped into mind was six a m Really, I swear on your life.
Five five five? But yeah, pretty much.
Yeah, apparently I would have been born on New Year's Eve, but yeah, she was.
My mum was in labor for five hours. But this is the.
Hardest thing, Like, I've never been able to actually ask her about I don't know what my mum's labor was like with me, I have no idea, Like there's gaps are missing, And that's.
Why I have a feeling you were breeched. You come out with your bum first, come out.
Pretty whole, furs coming out farting.
You're so fuck that's why you like fart jokes.
Yeah.
This is also what I realized is that it's a it's a childhood thing. There is why find fart and ship jokes so fucking funny. Is because if you look at an infant, so you an infant or like a toddler, and they were fart, they will always giggle and always look around as if like it's naughty. So I was like, oh my god, I'm the fucking infant, I'm the toddler. But it's just because maybe that's my only link to childhood.
That's joy, that's funny, and I'm.
Like, my god, that is the saddest thing you've ever said in your whole life. The only link to join my childhood is fart, noises dead dead.
I just fucking fine latchuleance, humor, fucking funny.
Like it's just like.
I remember the first day of school at Howard fine, and I walked in and I made friends with this guy called Rowan No and I fucking We went for a coffee and I said, oh fuck, I might have to do a shitter this. Any guys, we're gonna be friends.
It's funny.
It's human, and it's normal and it's funny, and it's like it breaks. I'm so serious in all of my other parts of my world, but when it comes to that sort of stim I'm like, it just breaks the seriousness of it.
You know what I got point in the relationship. When you're dating someone, do you start fighting.
It's been different for any.
There's been relationships where I've never like farted, or I haven't even like done a shit, or like we have separate toilets. So I'm like, okay, quiet time, like and I call it quiet time. It's like it's my own time, Like leave me one.
Do you ever think to yourself like I had this thought not too long ago. So my partner and I've been together for we met a year ago. Let's just say that we, you know, very comfortable around each other. But I was, I said to him the other day, I said, I can't imagine not fighting in front of you now, like what was I doing for the first few months, like holding it in and getting a source stomach.
Like now it's so comfortable. It's like we're playing Monopoly last night and you just cold going like it never happened.
That is like the best though.
It's so comfortable and there's obviously a trust there where there's no judgment like that.
Well, I'm traumatic as fuck. So as soon as he farts, I'm like you stinky little you are. Yeah, yeah, I'm like you stinky peopo.
Remember when was the first time that I farted in front of you?
Oh? Well, I don't Actually it was on the Gold Coast? Was it on the Gold Coast? In the bed? Yeah, and you sort of farted and then you looked across like really happy with yourself like this. It was like you didn't you said, yeah, I said that sounded wet, girl, Wipe yourself.
A five minute intro now turned into a whole episode of But Yeah, my nephews actually the fucking same. Like Tyro is like so funny, like he farts and he just like loses it like he do.
You want to know what one new like favorite thing is is where my partner farts, but he pretends that he's starting a motorbike, so he puts his leg up like this and he goes seriously, it's amazing. I'm like, it's really funny. He'll be in the kitchen. He'll be like making some food and then he'll just look at me and go like, where are you going brother, and like legit. It's like wow. He gets the noise and
the actions so perfect. I don't know how he knows what's coming out, but it's quite it's quite theatrical.
My favorite thing is it's farting.
Cobra reacts, Oh don't like he smells it. Oh, he hears it. He's like where is that small animal?
Like both like it being really how He's just like, what is that?
Like it frightens him? Oh no, he's like just doing his little you know, he's walking around the hip. Does he fart bad?
It's so funny because only in the last year or so I really really noticed that he farts and he burps, and I didn't know that dogs like it didn't really come close to a dog that burps or farts, And
my fucking god, it was so funny. This one time we were driving in the car right, and he like gets up on the window so he's like cold, body is like in a standing position, and I know there's just like quiet, like not even the radio one I was just driving, No one just heard this little I was like, And the thing was the only thing that made me realize that it was him fighting as he looked.
At his bum.
Giveaway like was he proud?
It was so fucking weird and he scared himself.
Yeah, And that's the first time I've actually heard him far, Like obviously I've smelt it, but it was the first time I actually physically heard it, and it was the fucking funniest thing.
Oh my god, that is funny.
And then now he burps so much like he feel like burp in my face, and I'm like.
Cosmo used to do that. You're feral, Like, yeah, do you know what an SBD is? No, a silent but deadly fart.
Oh okay.
So it's one where like you could be reading a book in bed and you just let it out and you're just waiting for it to hit your partner's nose. You're just waiting and you might kick the blanket a little bit, give it a bit of air pressure. But you act like it didn't happen until they go, ohad.
Oh, no, I've done one of those.
I was sick really once, and I you know what this is when I knew that my boyfriend loved me because I was the ex boyfriend now. But I was so unwell, like I obviously had like a saw tummy, and I just like farted.
It was just I was upstairs in the bedroom.
I didn't expect him to walk in after right, like I was just like, oh, fucket, like it's hurting.
My tummy like whatever.
And he walked in and he acted like it had smacked him straight in the.
Face, like as if and I was like already.
So vulnerable because I was like so unwell and so sick, and he was like he was like, oh, you're lucky.
I fucking love you, like and I was like I do love you.
I'm sorry.
I felt so bad, but I was like, fuck, okay, this guy literally loves me, because that was actually not that was inhumane.
I I am the dramatic partner, like I'm the one who once I smell I run out of the room. Yeah, and then I come back in and grab the blanket and full on like fan net like try and get it out of the room. I'm definitely not the one that's like it's okay. I'm like, you're disgusting, you stink.
I think.
I think that's the funny thing is like there's there's a there's girl girls that like don't love that type of humor, and then there's girls that have grown up with fucking brothers that I've like, really had it. Like I've been fucking cupcake punched in the face with a fart, I've been slagged on, I've been fucking fitten, like you know what I mean, There's those girls that have like really But to be fair, I would not change that for the world.
I don't know if you would.
But I feel like, I don't know, my brother's like built me up pretty much to be stronger and like to be able to, like I don't know, yeah, to hold my own to.
Be able to hold let one out.
Exactly let it rip. But I fight in front of my brothers.
My brothers do the same thing, Like It's yeah, it's just fucking funny.
I just think farts are fucking funny.
They are, and it's funny when you do them in a certain pose. For instance, my partner. I'm just letting it all out here. Whenever he wants to fart, he will literally, like if we're in bed, he'll get up and he'll poke his mom out and he'll far because like it's funny.
I remember the first time my father fighted in front of all my girlfriends. It couldn't have been the most perfect, hilarious moment. We were putting up the Christmas tree our first house together. Star lick No that is in the moment, and because I was laughing so much, I started fighting more.
So I couldn't alfy, and so I just.
Kept laughing and farting at the same time, and we were in hysterics.
I kid you not.
That's probably been the one of the times that I've laughed so hard I've nearly kissed myself Like it was hilarious.
That is funny. I want to know how many viewers do you how many listeners do you think turned the piece off before? Now? My knows have pressed skipking.
Fuck, you know who cares?
It's funny?
You know what?
This is the thing that people don't really talk about, and I think it's like funny. It makes it so much more human, Like we're all totally. The thing is when I think of someone really hot and I'm like, oh my god, and I kind of get not infactuated with them. I'm like, they're so hot, like exactly, I literally remember that they ship and they wipe their asshole just the same as what we do. So they're not as hot as you think they are, So fuck it, do you know.
What I mean?
Like, that's that's exactly how I think these days, is like, yes, you are hot, you know you're fing heart by at the end of the day, everyone wipes their ass and if you're not, I'd be concerned. Well that's all we have time for today. Thank you so much for listening to First things first, if you love what you hear, leave us a rating and a review, and if you want us to cover anything on the.
Pod, reach out by our socials. My hand with that brooked up.
Letton and Maddie's is that it's Maddie Mills and we'll see you next week.
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