Welcome to first things First, I'm Brook Blenn. My pronouns are she.
I'm Maddie Mills. My pronouns are he him.
Before we get started, we'd like to acknowledge the custodians of the land on which we record for both of us. It's the Gatigol people of the Aeri nation. Let's get into it, Maddie, let's do it well. This has been a big year for both of us.
Cracker of a year.
Has its ups, it's down, it's roundabouts, donuts, wagon wheels, wagon wheels. It's had its moments far out. Yeah, we really have.
It's been a big year, but it's flown by. Honestly, it has gone so quick. We are at the tail end.
Of the year.
I feel like there's a lot to reflect on. We've achieved so much, you know, we've ticked off a lot of things this year, and I feel like this is like the last year of our twenties.
WTF, WTF rest in peace, twenties.
That's scary, scary, scary, s Gary.
I'm excited, I'm scared, but also like, fuck, twenties was hard. Twenties were hard. Yeah, I'm ready to say I'm in my thirties. Now, all right, well I'm ready.
Let me ask you a question.
I feel like I've got this song playing in my head though. It's like, you know, the graduation song, and it's like.
Scared and married. Baby.
Listen, he always has to ruin my moments. He really has to outshine me every day.
Twenty twenty four.
No, you know that it's closing time? You know that one? Yeah, yeah, that's what I feel like. That's what I'm I'm singing on the way out of twenty twenty four.
It's closing time.
Yeah, what are we leaving behind? Let's go, oh, what.
Are we leaving behind? I think we're leaving behind. I'm trying to think what am I leaving behind? What do I do not?
What do I I'm leaving behind all the shitty dates. I'm leaving the energy to even fuck with that anymore, like fuck that? Ye No, I'm leaving that in twenty twenty four, Okay, I'm leaving all of my bachelorette days are gone. Done that time? She done?
She done?
Yeah? Why because I'm a new person three years and I have become a better person than I was in that show. Okay, And I feel like, yes, that gave me a great platform. Yes, it was amazing. Loved my experience. I feel like it's done.
It's done. Yeah, you're not the Bachelorette anymore. No, so what did that look like for you?
I'm in my acting error, I'm in my art's creative error, i am in my business error. Okay, I'm definitely not in a love relationship. I think I've like accepted that I'll have like flings and things and people that I'll connect with.
No strings attached.
And no strings. I think I'm really okay with that.
Flings, things but no strings love that. Okay.
Oh yeah, we're leaving one hundred percent behind.
Okay literally literally.
We're not literally they're not using literally anymore.
Now, who says literally? All right?
Hey everyone uses it influences, Like guys, look at this thing. It literally is the best. I'm like, okay, we're leaving her behind.
Yeah, I think twenty twenty four for me is Oh. There are so many parts of like this year that have been like hurdles for me. I feel but like I actually like have jumped them, you know what I mean. Like there's been barriers and there's been struggles, but I've got through a lot of stuff this year. I think I did a lot of like personal development this year. Same, and I feel like twenty twenty five is the year to thrive.
I agree. I feel like twenty twenty four for me was like I was in the trenches.
Twenty twenty four the door five, Let's thrive.
Okay, wrap god?
Yeah, yeah, give me a beat.
You're hilarious.
Yeah. So I feel like.
Who else feels like? I wonder if like our listeners feel like that as well, Like, do you guys feel like that twenty twenty four was really about moving the mud?
Or was it your best year? Yeah? Because I feel like I felt that I started it off being like, this is going to be the best year of my life, and it has been in so many different ways in terms of the personal growth, the work that I've done, the therapy, the relationships that I've established, but also the relationships that didn't establish but also taught me so much.
And I think like I generally thought at the start of the year that it was going to be a thriving error, not in the ways that I thought.
I feel like you had like the soft girl error vibes.
Yeah, is that all? Yeah? Okay, this is crazy because obviously I stepped back and I was in my acting like I was doing actings all this year, and to do acting, you actually have to know yourself really well. And I think that's why I describe it sort of being in the trenches, because I feel like I had to pull back a lot of the stuff that I
was doing because I was just doing it. I was like a hamster will And I don't know if you feel like this as well, like you just do things because it's a part of your job whatever, and acting kind of really pulled me out of that, and then I had to like reprioritize and that was also scary, but also okay, Like I felt like I was making the right decision and this was gonna, what I describe it as, was going to traject me forward, so I
needed to pull back to go forward. And I kind of feel like it's like a bowl and arrow kind of like analogy, where I was pulling back, pulling back, pulling back all this shit. I realize now what I'm actually capable of and what I really truly want to do and what I want to focus on and where I want to put my energy, And I think now I'm like literally trajectoring forward into that.
I'm so okay with that.
Yeah, catapulting literally, Yeah, No, I you're kidding. I was doing literally. I'm just going to say literally this whole episode. So then I get it out of my system. So in twenty twenty five, it's gone.
I feel like twenty twenty five for me is so I had a really good meeting with my new team, and I'm really excited about the goals that we have for my career. And my career is honestly like my first love. It is something that I love. I'm so grateful that I get to do what I do, Like I really feel that I've created this world in which I'm really happy because of my career. And I feel like the goals that we've created as a team, like we've done one, three and five year goals, and I
feel really empowered by putting them out there. Like I've never really had like a strategy meeting before about my career, and I feel like we only did that recently, and it's been such an inspiring thing for me to start the next year because there's like tangible things that I want to tick off, you know, and there are big goals. And my thing for twenty twenty five is you've probably heard this many times. You can't be what you can't see. My thing is you can be what you can't see.
Be the first doing things for the creating change and being the first.
Yeah yeah, which we have been the first to do many things, and we've achieved so much through that. And I think you have been like an icon.
You've been an icon. She is the moment.
Why do you love? I was being sentimental and then you just someone, well, really do you love the spotlight? But you hate it?
Also, I hate when people say things that I feel like, I don't hate it, but sometimes people.
Over exaggerate, so you don't believe.
The day when I was at the Arias, somebody goes, this is gay icon Mattie Mills and and I cringed. I was like, but you are no, no, no, I'm not an icon.
What is an icon?
An icon is Beyonce Michael Taylor Swift.
But I think icon is like it's contextual, like it depends, like I would say, I'm an icon in so many ways, and I'm happy to say that, Well, yeah.
So you should. Well, I think I think are a bit of an icon.
Yeah, but you've got like a very negative view on icon.
I think, like for myself, yes, I don't. I don't say no. I really don't believe that I'm an icon and I don't know you need to No, I don't think it's like I'm not worthy of that title yet.
Really, yeah, I think you are.
I think it's given too easily these days, you know, people icons because.
I think there's a bigger word for like, like say, like Beyonce.
I feel like, isn't an icon? Is Beyonce? Icon is Michael Jackson? If someone calls me an icon, I'm cringing. Why I haven't done iconic shit yet. I haven't eat the iconic status, Like.
I feel like you are doing iconic shit like I feel like no, but just in different ways. I think you're icon.
If I'm an icon, I'm a teen icon?
Yeah, fucking I would own that.
No, But I don't know. I think I just I don't know, you know when you sort of don't see for yourself. But somebody you know who said it, Queen con she was like gay icon Maddie Mials.
I can own it though. When Maddy walks into a room, like it's so crazy like everyone is just gravitated towards him, and he seems to think that he doesn't have that energy or like bring that kind of like icon moment or like status that that fucking pisses me off.
I'm getting out of this.
No, because I think you are. I think you need to believe.
Thank you so outs and ins.
Well out is self deprecating.
Self deprecation.
Yes, in is sometimes living in the delusional, because I think living in the delusional is actually you know, there's this thing, right, it's like honor thy error because there's like hidden you'll find the hidden gem or intention, okay, And it's like this saying like bybe like Brian Eno, I don't know if you know who the guys I went and watched like a document him, but like he says that, it's because when we fear like rejection or when we make an error, we're quick to like move on, right,
We're like, oh I can't deal with that, like okay, fucked up whatever, move on. But if we actually honor it, there's so much other stuff that's in that as well, Like you're like, oh yeah, okay, I fucked up, and then you'll think about like, oh, what led me to that. Why did I do that? Was that just like an irrational thing or was it like a like I just rushed it and then you learn that Okay, oh I rushed it. Okay, Well next time, I actually won't rush it,
you know. And if you don't honor that and don't like get curious with that, I feel like for me, an inn is curiosity because curiosity leads without judgment, and you don't have judgment. And I think I have had some sort of like closed off energy where I've had my people, my circle, my things where I'm like, no, this makes me happy and I'm protected and I'm safe here because I didn't have that elsewhere. So I created that and then it closed me off to so many
other things. So I feel like this year, I'm like, oh god, I feel like this is so cool. Like when you think of the word icon, this is the saying that I absolutely get so cringe worthy. And I like, go with the flow?
Why I hate it?
Do you hate it?
Why?
Because I'm not a go with the flow fucking person? Right? Never been like what I know?
I feel like you would be.
I am now okay, Like I have been learning and taking baby steps to go with the flow.
What's go with the flow mean to you?
Well, it means different things. For me. It means uncertainty, it means like just rolling with it. It means unsafe, and all of these things like that come with that. Saying was like really making me feel uncomfortable about going with the flow, like in terms of relationships, in terms of like events, like going with events and stuff like that, or with work. I just don't go with the flow. I have a structured mindset yep, and leaving it too open is just like not my vibe.
Wow. I would see if someone said to me what you describe Brook and I would probably say, she goes with the flow.
No, I do what I'm told, like, but that's not going with them, but has intentions of like what the things that I feel like I would pick and choose, Like, yeah, we can go with the flow, but there's always going to be for me like some sort of like intention like I'll do this to a certain period of time.
But then how people see you and how you feel.
I hate go with the flow, but I'm like I'm really there you go. Well, I'm like learning, so like that's an infa me in for twenty twenty five is like actually like physically going with the flow and not having any intentions, expectations and just like like and I've just met the most amazing people already, and I'm like, oh, yeah, I did not expect this to go like this, and I'm kind of like surprised, and it's a surprise every time for me. It's not always going to be good.
I know that it's not going to be like always a light at the end of the fucking rainbow, pot of gold or what you call a.
Light at the end of the rainbow. I don't think that's saying a light.
At the end of the tunnel. I always funny delusional sayings.
Are you always like mix them up? Tunnel?
Yeah, it's about light at the end of the tunnel, pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
Yeah that right. Sure. What's in the in and out in for me is continue self development, self improvement, self care, being a little bit.
Selfish, actually selfless or selfish because there's like I think sometimes we are guilty about being selfish because like we're like.
I think I put way too many people before myself and I feel like in my life, like I always think about how I can like support people or like even in my own relationship, like I just put myself out there a lot to like to be loving, you know what I mean, and to be really caring when I'm like, I don't think I need to try as hard. I think, you know, I need to like take a step back from like always wanting to show I don't know,
show up in that way. I don't know. Yeah, part of me the ones like self preservation maybe.
I think, yeah, that's a that's a great word. I think that's because I don't think you're selfish.
I think you I want to be.
Yeah, And I think that's but that's self preservation to protect yourself but also take care of yourself so you can take care of the people that will take care of you, don't you reckon?
Yeah yeah, I think yeah.
Making more like choices for self.
Yes, yeah, yeah yeah, And I think that's selfish and I think out for me is one thing that I'm really like trying to work on is when I do things like when I put my attention to something or give my attention to something, is it like good for me or not? You know what I mean. I don't want to just take on things for the sake of it, Like because I feel like we allow things into our
world and into our lives. Like it can be people, it can be jobs, it can be gigs that sometimes actually don't give you anything.
I agree that's an out for me.
An art, things that aren't going to serve me, like positively, they need to go.
I agree. I think I did a lot of things that were to make a lot of people happy and yeah, you know, showing up. But when I would go home, I was like, that gave me zero energy. I was probably more burnt out, and I just don't think I want that in my life.
There's a big change for both of us. It's about growth.
I know we're award winning podcast.
We're an award winning podcast.
And I hope you know, next year we are the same.
That's our goal totally.
I feel I know that we haven't spoken about that, but I feel like we've got some really exciting things.
Well let's look into the future, and I think it's about time we did a horoscope.
You never want it. You don't even know what a triple capricorn is.
Yes, I do it. It's looking at me right now. Okay, So my twenty twenty five horoscope for Gemini Comfort Zone. What's that? Lucky? Expansive Jupiter continues It's twelve month journey through your sign, energizing your trailblazing self Sovereign first House until June ninth. If it's novel, daring and out of the box, it's for you. In twenty twenty five, twin and the hits keep on coming from July seven to November seven, renegade change maker Uranus swings into Gemini. Yeah
it does. It's first visit to your sign since nineteen forty one to forty nine. Okay, honestly, that means fucking nothing to me. This horoscope means nothing to me.
It means a lot to me, like read tell me.
Well, okay, so energizing your trailblazing? What did I say? If you can't be it, you can't see it, that's gone. If you don't even if you can't see it, you can still be it. That's trailblazing.
Actually, I think, And that was the one word that came up to me at the start. Yeah, instead of icon is that I would trailblazer. Thank you.
I connect with that word. I do. What self sovereign first House mean?
You have twelve houses and where your sign so in your placement, and so when you do your try style your chart, ye, don't you.
Or me self sovereign? Oh? Here we go, Rachels come to the rescue. The ability to manage and operate one's own knowledge, especially when making decisions. Ooh, I love that.
And that's pretty much what you were saying about making your own decisions. And I think maybe we you know, icon the word you hate, maybe we.
Use trailblazer, trailblazer I connect with. Honestly, I feel really connected to that word. Yeah, yeah, icon for me out trailblazer in. Okay, you to yours? I want to. I want to know what you're Capricorn.
Hey, so many people, so little time. If you thought your popularity peaked before Gus Again, on January eleven, the fateful North node glides into Pisces, meaning like that means like more emotion, So like Pisces are more emotional, energizing your curious social third house for eighteen.
Months you said curiosity.
I know, So that's right across the board. The karmic South No treks through Ergo, which can stir up restlessness and turn you into a bit of a Nomad. I feel like Nomad is my year this year, like I actually want to I know, I feel like I want to pack my house up, put it in storage, and then just be like an airbab girl. Yeah I know, but then like what am I gonna be with my dog? Anyways? You want to do, see and enjoy it all, which means managing your time and peace, which I think is
a good year. So I think twenty twenty five for me is a lot of travel and a lot of experiencing. I think I want to like expand on knowledge and my arts, so I want things. I want to like know things so I can share things. Yeah, and I just feel like I've given two years of the podcast so much of my time, but I feel like I've run out of like things to like tell you.
Really yeah, Oh, I feel like your life is so much more interesting than I feel like you come in with many stories and I'm like here, i feel like you're a guest on our podcast. Every time, I'm like, you've got all I'm asking all the questions.
You're so interesting, and I'm like, fucking boring. That is so funny, Okay, that is hilarious.
I feel like you're the one with the interesting life and I'm the one over here living like Mundane Maddie.
Oh my god, that's so funny because I would not think that. I think you have the most interesting life.
Oh see, well there you go.
Oh my god. Okay, hilarious. But yeah, I feel like I want to continue obviously doing the podcast and like sharing knowledge. So I feel like I need to go experience things and do things.
So what twenty twenty five, I feel like travels on the cards for you. You're gonna get to New York.
You're gonna I will in the holidays. I'm going to go to LA I'm gonna go to New York. I'm gonna come back. I'm going to have a new vagina.
Oh you're getting a labia plus, I am getting my.
Lavier plus, I'm getting my new pluss, my new the Jana.
When the seventeenth of jam and is it like.
A and then or yeah it's a one day thing. So there's I'm like new me. That's what I'm thinking, like new brook, like redefining, amazing, recreating.
Yeah, sligh, that's new in in is.
Out is relationships for me? That's not on the cards, like actually like being in a committed like.
You don't want to No, yeah, okay.
I just think like I get so much out of when I meet someone and it's like so intense and so dense, so quickly I like learn and like learn and love it and it's like thrilling, and then after a while I kind of get like bored with it. So I'm like, well, okay, maybe just I'm not that kind of girl. Maybe I'm not a relationship girly, So quick update.
Are you dating at the moment?
No, not really, Like I am hanging out with people and like different people, so yeah, okay going on dates maybe like hanging out for a coffee or a swim or something. But yeah, no, no dating in twenty like dating, but like not dating to to fall in love. Yeah, just dating to I'll leave that up to your interpretation.
I was like, you're going to finish that.
Okay, that's my that's I'm gonna get that tattooed on me. Dot dot dot leave it open.
Okay.
She's in her open.
Err open err.
Shes go with the flow.
She's a go with the floor open girly.
Wow and nomads. I'm pretty much a gypsy.
You are at this point, But I think you're enjoying it. I really am.
Yeah, yes, I don't know. Her stability is out. Yeah, funny.
Well, I feel like I don't know. There's just so much, you know, more to come next year on the pod. I want to you know, obviously in our listeners for this year, this is like the last solo episode of the year. We have some guest episodes coming up though, period, which is awesome.
Just stay listening, you stay listening.
But we've absolutely loved this year, you know, first things first, the whole rejig of the pod, the award we won, the Champion Award, the events that we've had.
The first ever live podcast.
With Apple with Apple, you know, and next year.
Maybe something else with someone else.
Yes, well we have announced it.
The Actor.
Yeah, so we're doing the Actor Festival. First Things first start of the year. It's big. It's going to be big. I feel like, you know, first Things First is just getting started.
It doesn't look at us new name, new brand, new people, new management, new awards, new live podcasts, new people in new community. Actually like first Things First is sligh.
And you know, if you think about are like the Nova podcast where you know, three or four seasons is pretty good. Thank you, no, thank you nover thanks.
For having us full team. But yeah, reminder that we also do have some amazing guest episodes coming up very very soon, so stay tuned over the holiday period. We will be keeping the vibes rolling throughout and then we look forward to seeing you guys in the new year.
Yeah, and if you want reach out over the holiday period.
I hope you have very amazing Merry Christmas.
Yes. And for those who don't celebrate happy holidays, happy holidays, well that's all we have time for. That is twenty twenty four out the door. Big love to you, mob. You know what we say. If you love us, leave us a little rating or a little review, and if.
You want us to cover anything in the new year, or have any ideas for us, what do you want to hear? Reach out by our socials. My handle is that it brooked Up Blurton. Maddie's is that it's Buddy Males.
We love you, We love you.
Bye.