First Things First TV

-•www.firstthingsfirst.tv

I like to check in with the news about once a week. So I thought you might like to join me in this daring and bold venture. Come on. It'll be fun. I'll protect you from the dangers of the news jungle, just like your mother would. Trust me, I'm on the internet.

Last refreshed: July 28th, 2025 at 10:58 PM ⓘ

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Episodes

247 First Things First TV - "Silent Hill"

Heather discusses drunk dialing Anita Hill, why if you're anti-sex why you shouldn't sell sex toys and the lives of the rich and tasteless.

Oct 21, 2010•7 min

246 First Things First TV - "Tasteless Noise"

Heather discusses the Insane Clown Group, white noise and food and speeding in your old age.

Oct 15, 2010•5 min

245 First Things First TV - "No ifs, ands, or butts"

Heather discusses your butt, your middle finger as art and Wii little injuries.

Oct 06, 2010•5 min

244 First Things First TV - "Mouse Trap"

Heather discusses mouse bread, neanderthals and wizard hats. Just another Tuesday.

Sep 29, 2010•5 min

243 First Things First TV - "Poop Art"

Heather discusses zombies, spelling mistakes, Lennon's toilet and robotripping. Sounds bad but it's so good.

Sep 09, 2010•6 min

242 First Things First TV - "Sewer or Later"

What do Tiger Woods, traffic jams and sewers have in common? Watch and find out!

Aug 24, 2010•6 min

241 First Things First TV - "Mea Culpa"

Heather discusses the dangers of eating peas, horror film sets and the state of America's schools.

Aug 15, 2010•5 min

240 First Things First TV - "The Priest and the Beast"

Heather discusses giving dogs communion, loving your baby and conning people.

Aug 01, 2010•8 min

239 First Things First TV - "Distiller Alive"

Heather discusses dynamite, gay Mexican vacations and moonshine. Oh yeah.

Jul 19, 2010•8 min

237 First Things First TV - "Flight of the Maggots"

Heather discusses maggots, overpaid politicians and leprechauns. ;

Jul 01, 2010•8 min

237 First Things First TV - "My Left Bigfoot"

Psychic Octopuses! Bigfoot! Drug Lords! It's all here!

Jun 28, 2010•11 min

226 First Things First TV - "Winning Streak"

Heather discusses the benefits of being naked, drunk, grumpy, dirty and celibate.

Jun 18, 2010•9 min

235 First Things First TV - "Boy Soy"

Heather discusses testes, soy for boys and cockroaches. ; Tasty!

Jun 07, 2010•9 min

234 First Things First TV - "Wallace and Vomit"

Heather discusses vomit assaults, suicide prevention and the hazards of sunbathing.

May 29, 2010•10 min

233 First Things First TV - "Out Where the Pussy Willow Blows"

Heather discusses the news.

May 23, 2010•7 min

232 First Things First TV - "Peen of the Crime"

Heather discusses the 70-year-diet, tiger penis and collecting worker's comp whilst stripping.

May 15, 2010•8 min

231 First Things First TV - "Cop a Smoke"

Heather discusses smoking pot while on duty...as a cop, giant evil rabbits and how people really are starving in China.

May 01, 2010•6 min

230 First Things First TV - "Boooooobquake!

Heather discusses winning the lottery, boobs causing earthquakes, chupacabras and ye olde firing squad.

Apr 25, 2010•7 min

229 First Things First TV- "Not So Secret Garden"

Heather discusses Steven Seagal and nudity.

Apr 16, 2010•6 min

228 First Things FIrst TV -"Dead Man Boarding"

Heather discusses the dos and dont's of airline traveling and not killing your wife.

Apr 09, 2010•7 min

227 First Things First TV - "Filet-O-Fish Out Of Water"

Heather discusses bringing up baby, filet-o-fish and airport forget-me-nots.

Apr 02, 2010•8 min

226 First Things First TV - "Winning Streak"

Heather discusses the RNC, stripping in Iceland (as if you want to take your clothes off there anyway) and streaking just because.

Apr 01, 2010•6 min

124 First Things First TV - "Snakes on a Tree"

Heather discusses wrestling a python in a tree, getting married in Saudi Arabia and stalking David Caruso.

Apr 15, 2009•8 min

123 First Things First TV - "Lego My Jesus"

Heather discusses Al Franken's win in Minnesota, a Lego statue and the death of Marilyn Chambers.

Apr 14, 2009•7 min

122 First Things First TV - "Angel in America"

Heather discusses Angel Cabrera's win at the Master's, Woody Harrelson fighting zombies at the airport and Mel Gibson being single.

Apr 13, 2009•6 min

121 First Things First TV - "No Good Swede Goes Unpunished"

Heather discusses the crazy train that is Billy Bob Thornton, eating 51 of the hottest chilies in the world in two minutes and the new Swedish stripper tax.

Apr 10, 2009•8 min

120 First Things First TV - "Spy Fidelity"

Heather discusses exposing Britain's counter terrorism operations, Kim Jong-il and good baby fat

Apr 09, 2009•6 min

119 First Things First TV - "Bring Out The Chimp!"

Every morning Heather rolls out of bed, grabs a cup of coffee and brings you all the news she deems worthy...or funny. Or worthy of being funny. You get the point.

Apr 08, 2009•7 min

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