Flavours, Festivals, and Fatherhood Feats

little did you know , but I was in germany for the euro semi-finals .

No , way in game yeah , in germany , that one quiet yeah and uh .

I was there waiting for the just before the game . I saw this guy walking around with a long pole Strange .

Really strange .

So I asked him are you a pole voter ? He said nein , I am the German . But tell me , how did you know ? My name is Walter , episode 9 .

I didn't go to Germany , unfortunately as soon as you said you went to Germany , I thought this is episode 9 . He's going to do a 9 joke , isn't he ? I actually , usually I fall for that hook line and sinker , but I mean , there was a split second .

There's no way I don't know what would you do . So , yeah , tickets to the semifinals , uh-huh . What would you do ? Because basically , people could sell their tickets for 16 000 pounds . Wow , would you still go , or would you stick it on ebay for 16 000 pounds ?

no , I don't think it is , because think of the think of the cinema room you could set up for 16 000 pounds .

Yeah , think of the , the number of games you can watch in the room .

Yeah , exactly no sick .

That's ridiculous you probably wouldn't have one ticket . You wouldn't really go on your own . You'd have at least two tickets probably .

You have a pair of tickets that's 32k . Yeah , I mean absolutely , I would have sold those and yeah , and not even felt bad about it , I'd have sold those and cheered for flipping Holland if that was part of the deal . Come on , holland , I got my 32 grand . F*** you England , yay , anyways . Episode nine Episode nine . Episode nine Episode nine .

Episode nine it's first to first time . Yay , yay , let's open the first list .

What have you got this week ? Here we go .

Vault City and it's a blueberry muffin , waffle cone crunch , triple scoop , modern sour beer .

That sounds bloody horrendous . You don't mix desserts . Sour beer that sounds bloody horrendous . You don't mix desserts and beer .

You don't try and be like it's not an ice cream flavour it's a beer . It's not ice cream flavoured Crunch .

Beer should not have a crunch .

It's a blueberry muffin , something or other .

That's going to be awful Also the listeners can't see it .

It's 8.3% .

Oh , my goodness .

Which is , from my standards , is quite a low , but our favourite flavours of ice cream are the inspiration for our new dessert Sours .

Well , I'm sorry your inspiration's flawed , because who wants ice cream and beer to be mixed together like in america , I do . I do enjoy ice cream float , but I wouldn't dump an ice cream in a beer apparently in america , in boston , you can get I heard about this this week you can get guinness floats .

I imagine it's going to be blue in colour right . Here we go , here we go .

Oh , it's red , oh , it's more purple . Yeah , sorry .

It's very Well yeah .

It definitely contains blueberries , doesn't it ? You can see by the colour .

It definitely contains blueberries , it's not . It's not a Guinness , that's for sure .

It doesn't look nice .

Here we go . Let's see I'm diving in Cheers .

Cheers .

Before I even get there , it's a very strong smell . Oh .

That's what you want to see when you drink a beer . Oh , it looks like he's just got one of Logan's nappies .

No , it's a nice smell . Look at your's nappies . No , it's a nice smell .

Look at your face , know if it's a nice smell a right blueberry smell so what's the verdict on the taste ? And it's oh , oh . His eye just turned in . Ladies and gentlemen , his eye just turned in . I mean , I'll still drink it because I don't waste booze , but I can't . I'm honestly shocked . Oh , his eye just turned in .

Ladies and gentlemen , His eye just turned in . I mean I mean I'll still drink it because I don't waste booze .

But I can't . I'm honestly shocked . A blueberry waffle cone , double crunch , 8.3% beer is wrong . Whoa , who'd have thought it ?

It's too . It hits the sides of your mouth . You know where it hits the sides of your mouth ? Uh-huh , the cheeks . It's too sweet , it's too sweet .

It's a terrible idea . I hope you didn't buy this . I hope this was a gifted beer . Did you actually buy this from the shop ? I can't remember . You can't remember it's yeah , it was never going to go well , was it ? Let's be honest .

No , I'll drink it At a no . Uh , I'll drink it um at a protest .

I apologize for the audio quality when my face goes inside out . As I'm talking , his eye literally turned into the middle of his face .

I don't know , it's like a shot , it's like a really sour . I mean it did say on the tins sour , so it did give me a trigger warning . But the name should have given you a trigger warning the ingredients and the , the inspiration that the people talk to on the can should have given you a trigger warning .

The ingredients and the inspiration that the people talk to on the can should have given you a trigger warning who buys that and drinks that and thinks that's delicious . How do they make money when they produce this crap ?

People like me , mr Oshkiss , people like me that like a pretty can and go ooh colours , ooh ice cream . I like ice cream . I like beer . I know from experience I don't like ice cream and beer together , but I still bought it okay , well , more for you , williams there might be a , might be a grower .

I think it sounds like a . I don't want to grab a blueberry pint of beer , so let's grab the tackle .

Yes , Grab a tackle to the fish pond of feedback . Whey , whey , whey , whey Whey New listeners in Waltham Forest . I don't know where that is , but Van Buren , arkansas .

Nice Kup Cooper in Fife , oh , scotland , nice , chingford .

That's Wolfen Forest yeah .

Is it Okay , very nice .

Yeah , chingford . Yes , two lessons , wolfen Forest , gosh . And what else have we got ? Littleton In Colorado , america still loves us and Riyadh , no Riyadh . Who else have we got ? Littleton in Colorado , america still loves us and Riyadh , no Riyadh . Riyadh region yeah .

Wow .

Wow , no new listeners in Africa , though still .

Still no Africans listening to our podcast .

We do have international listeners , so thank you very much .

Yeah , thanks for tuning in guys international listeners .

So thank you very much . Yeah , thanks for tuning in , guys , please , yeah , please send in your jokes via either text message or email , first little names at outlookcom or insta . Or anonymous listener sent in um . What do you call a moose with no name ?

I don't know well , what do you call a moose with no name ?

anonymous anonymous .

That's a good one , and it was an anonymous person who sent that , yeah anonymous , anonymous person .

Um , this , this thing , this , this , this has blown my mind . Mr hodgkins , you might have known this already , but this has blown my mind , hit me and it says after 30 odd years , but 40 years for myself , I've just realized it's a me . A mario is japanese for super mario and not it's me mario no , that can't be true .

No , I want to fact check that volumes . Where did you hear that from ?

okay , I've not fact checked it . I've not fact checked it it's a me , mario it's a me , a mario for super mario . We are going to fact check you listeners . It could be the spreading false fake news . Who knows ?

It's-a-me Mario . Yeah , okay , so there's a Reddit thing about it . It's-a-me .

Mario .

Okay , so rather than saying It's-a-me Mario , Nintendo character Super Mario says It's-a-me Mario , which means Super Mario in Japanese . Wow .

Well , there you go . Listeners . Character Super Mario says Itsumi Mario , which means Super Mario in Japanese .

Wow , that is actually mind blowing

We should just stop the podcast now how many years have you gone in your Italian accent in your head whilst playing Super Mario ?

it's a me , any more feedback . Williams Walliams .

No , the listeners have been quiet . The listeners have been quiet this week . Yeah , please send stuff in .

There's a lot going on , isn't there , with sports and everything that we just talked about . So you know it's understandable .

Send your voice notes in or whatever .

Well , you know where I've got a first look , Walliams , if we're happy to jump into that that could explain why people haven't been sending us in messages .

Maybe Jump in , jump in .

First look . It's a repeat of last year's first look , although last year's first look was a look at Glastonbury 2023 . This one is a look at Glastonbury 2024, .

Walliams , oh , it's not a second look , it's a first look at 2024 .

It's a first look at 2024 . It's a first look at 2024 . We are gonna do so just to give a bit of context . Glastonbury will be assuming we're still doing this podcast will probably become a regular feature because it's something we enjoy doing now . This year we were planning to have a glastonbelly festival in our house .

So I'm going to talk about the , the good , the bad and the ugly of glastonbury this year okay , I don't know if you watch it no , I caught snippets , but no , I don't know what's going on , but I didn't really catch much of it this year .

Well , there was a lot of chatter before Glastonbury this year that it wasn't a very good lineup , but I actually think it did all right . From the acts that we saw , I was quite impressed . Now , it could have been because I was drunk , but I really enjoyed the whole thing . So we'll start with a good . So yeah , I in order of my favorites walliams .

She did a CBeebies bedtime story from Glastonbury .

I didn't see that one . Yeah , but I'm not surprised she's that kind of yeah .

Yeah , from Glastonbury . She did a CBeebies story and she had what they called the classic Madonna cones . Okay , very appropriate , is that CBee called the the classic madonna cones ? Okay , is that cbb's family .

but there you go , kids aren't looking at those , are they the dads ? Probably are the dad's probably looking and yeah , yeah , bedtime story just improved for them . Um , speaking of madonna cones and dads dua lipaua Lipa . So she was very good . She did a lot of outfit changes .

I like Dua Lipa .

She has good pop songs . So we enjoyed Dua Lipa and then , I think , the favourite , the one they enjoyed the most , was the Sugar Babes , which Sugar Babes , was it ?

So this is the original line-up of Sugar Babes . The original three but is it the original three ? Because wasn't the original one disappeared very early , didn't they ?

Yes , no , it's her again . She's back .

Is it ?

Yeah , and she can sing quite well . So they did it a couple of years ago and they put them on the second stage or park stage or something and they drew too big of a crowd . So this year you'd have thought they'd have learned from that and put them on the pyramid stage , but they didn't .

So hopefully next year they'll get to the pyramid .

Yeah , it was . It was really good .

So there were some good ones , but there was also some bad ones , williams .

So shania twain wasn't very good , was she not ? We didn't watch the whole thing , but she was the headline . She was the sunday , she was what they call the legend , um , but she did the legend slot , but oh no she doesn't actually have that many songs that we all know and she's yeah , she wasn't that great she's kept in great shape .

That was really bad . I can't remember their names , but you'll probably mention them in a bit .

I'll let you know it was dex's midnight runners were pretty bad . They were like just well past it as a female .

You know 70 roads in the Loper yeah , was it so Cindy Lauper was .

Yeah , cindy Lauper wasn't great , but I don't know she was . It looked like she was at a sink or something . So in every unit it looked like she was but the music was slightly delayed , so she was kind of singing just ever so slightly off , like there was a just a slight delay .

it was yeah it was a main stage the third main stage on the friday night .

Um , so I'm going to read you about high lung . They have a new album called seasons of mist first look at high lung so .

she might have covid probably got it off my wife but like she's not the only person , is he looking down ? What is he wearing ?

yeah , she , she wears another one . Oh , here's a . I said you another one here . This is , I mean , you see this this is not um .

It's not normal , is it ?

I don't , no , but you know they've got an audience . Wow , you can't . You know .

Wow , okay . I'd be worried they'd make a sacrifice on stage .

That's what I've just sent you . It looks like they are doing a sacrifice on stage . It's very weird . Wow , high lung .

And that's a popular genre these days . Is it what High Lung ? And that's a popular genre these days .

Is it what sacrifice ? Sacrificial genre .

Well , no , because the latest , not to keep saying Eurovision , but on the last Eurovision there was a lot of this sort of stuff , wasn't there ?

Well , I'll tell you what I'm going to do , walliams , I'm going to press play on this YouTube video and you won't be able to hear it , but I'll sing along to it so you can try and try , and give you an idea of what this is high lung trouse live leave for lunch wrong okay .

Performed by mr craig hotchkiss no , I couldn't hear myself singing beautiful .

I'm interested to see how I'll listen back to see how that came along . Um , that's basically what . That's what .

Hard on god , so yeah okay , well , um , I'll look for them on um amazon music , or you should you should , and there was .

obviously there's a few randoms that we saw as well . So we watched a band band called Seventeen , who were a K-pop band . So that was interesting K-pop , yeah , yeah , that was interesting . And then our favourite were the Mary Wallopers , who were an Irish band .

The Mary Wallopers what a name .

The Mary Wallopers and they were good fun . They were an Irish band and they were just singing songs about random stuff , the virus jig . A bit of virus jig . So you've got to love a bit of Glastonbury .

Raiden seems to have avoided it too so good oh good so that was my first after five times you know , I reckon that's exactly it .

I reckon I've had it . So I'm like I'll probably just get it now and just not even realise . I was like , yeah , I'll do it OK . But , yes , that was Glastonbury 2024 . Well worth going and checking back on the iPlayer . I think you might even be able to watch High Lung on the iPlayer . Maybe not , I don't know , but if you can .

High , lung High .

Lung .

The blueberry muffin waffle

Is that because it's 8.3% ? Maybe it's literally warming on you .

It makes you really thirsty . The more you drink , the more thirsty you get .

Oh , okay . Your mouth just goes really dry . Got probably a high salt content , maybe Probably so . What about you , Wiles ? What's your first look First looks .

So I've got a first look . Well , multiple first looks . So my first looks are exciting and amazing , but also terrifying and struggles as a parent of that stage of your little baby is no longer a baby . Aww , so little baby Logan . This week he's built a tower on his own . Very good . Balancing blocks and a tower .

yeah , oh it's , it's nice though it's I mean yeah , it is nice .

It's amazing . One chapter is the start of the next yeah , it's nice in development , it's nice seeing all these new things .

yeah ?

yeah . So it's um , yeah , it's all , it's all kicking off and uh , yeah , lots of first ducks , which are ? You know there's gonna be more first ducks . They're happening like every single day at the moment you raise a good point there .

You know that . Well , when do we stop celebrating everyone being great at everything ?

it's just you slow down , don't you ?

yeah , I suppose we stop doing .

There's loads of new stuff that we probably could do , but we slow down , we just don't do them . Well , that's true . So I'm sure if I jumped out of a spaceship , yeah you'd be like well done , mate , that's very impressive . I probably would actually right , yeah .

Congratulations well done , congratulations yeah .

Well , I haven't . I'm doing the same things . I'm drinking a beer . You're like , well done , I'm just drinking a beer again well , I'd maybe celebrate you well done , that's the first . Yeah , well done . It's not quite impressive , is it ?

but no , that's true , that's true . And when , when , yeah , when , when a baby does something , when you clap , they grin . When you drink your blueberry beer and you grimace , it's different . So how are you but like you're enjoying it as much as it making you feel like , oh , he's growing up too quick . Are you in ?

yeah , I'm very lucky . So I get to work from , uh , from the bottom of the garden and um , yeah , so I get to see him quite a bit , you know , and I have my pee breaks and you know I'm home how old is he 18 months man alive crazy months . So , um , yeah , so when you see rex you'll be getting on towards two . Yeah , so uh , yeah , he's .

his favorite stick man stick man , yeah , stick man is a classic .

Stickman yeah , We've watched it 30 , 40 times now .

Wow yeah .

We've read it about 100 times . Georgie on the last trip we did up to see her mum , we basically recited Stickman without referring to the book .

Okay , just know it that well .

Yeah , know the words . Georgie's read it more than I have . So , yeah , she just went through and read it more or less word for word .

You know what , as well , though they get logged in there . So Brayden's now coming up to nine so he doesn't read the Julie Donaldson ones anymore , but like they are still lodged in there from bedtimes . Like you know , a mouse took a stroll through the deep , dark woods . The mouse saw a nut and the nut looked good .

Like they just get stuck in there like , yeah they are good , though , but um Graffalo , that's up there , gruffalo's Child , smed's and the Smoothes nice yeah , they're the main ones do you remember you bought Braden a Gruffalo outfit when he was ? For the Gruffalo .

Yeah , long time ago it is a long time ago now . Yeah , now your kids going through it yeah , yeah , strange , very strange .

I'd have to order him one loads of first looks , loads of first looks , loads of first looks , um , but um yeah , and we're looking forward to the next judah donaldson film that's coming out in christmas what's it gonna be this year ? We don't know .

We don't know , we're hoping for tiddler oh yes I hope for tiddler , tiddler the fish the one that the christmas just gone one , the one with the one that the Christmas Just Gone one , the one with the cat , that was . That was got me right in the feels . That did , yeah , got me in the feels that one did .

Oh , that's another first look . Ah , ah , get you in the feels get you in the feels . Logan's first singing , singing meow , meow , meow , meow , meow , meow . Ah , that gets you in the feels oh , my little boys have run on .

Oh , that gets you in the feels . Oh , ralph , my little boys have run on you so much .

Toilet listeners have not watched or read the book , but it's a cat that sings in his busker . But yeah , watch it , Look for it .

It's Get you in the feels it will Get you in the feels . It't get you in the feels .

it will get you in the feels it'll get you in the feels oh , that's my first look multiple first looks , yeah , so uh , plenty there to come . But um , well , also you're a man of experience .

But um , yeah , it's first looks constantly , ever probably well , that segues nicely into the next first look that I've got volumes , which is a look about the boy , so as , as you say , you get all these first look experiences with children , we had one recently and don't think I talked about this on a podcast previously , but I might of but we had to do you

This is what happens does it need a trigger warning ?

no , no , no , there's no trigger warning .

One of the feedbacks was I wish there's trigger warning for the uh , the russell segment .

Sorry about that , guys . Now this one does not need a trigger warning . This one is when your kid comes home and his eyes are lit up because he's the teacher has suggested that something . Some , they do something and he wants to . He , he wants to , he's enthused , he's activated . He wants to do something and you're like , oh okay , how can we say no to him .

You presented yourselves .

No , so what happened was got . So my son goes to a school where there's lots of people from lots of different cultures yeah , so to celebrate cultures , they had an evening , so they invite people to do a stall and on that stall you bring things from your culture and you present . And then the school was for everyone .

From the school comes and they walk around and taste all the food and bring in lovely well that .

That's it so braden came home he's like I want to do a stall for culture day and I was like , okay , so what ? What do you mean ? I said , like your mom I'm english , your mom's irish . Like I think this means more for kind of like the italians and the french people and the chinese people at school . No , I want to do it .

That must feel really good because obviously Braden lived in England and he's been there , but he's very much northern ireland now oh yeah so it must be really nice and from to you know link to that heritage ?

oh , absolutely yeah well , my mom brought a load of pic like family pictures of like old like her kind of grandparents and stuff , um , who would have obviously , you know , have all been born and raised in the black country .

They had like a big burger van and ice cream van and like it was a really big .

Thing . So , it was very good because it was funded as well , so the school had won money . You know , like when you get Tesco , where the supermarkets are available , and you get the little blue coins . In fact , I've got to claim the money back .

Of course they will absolutely , absolutely .

They'll be added to the website that is currently being built . Now see , ladies and gentlemen , of course walliams is now waiting for me to send him a picture . I obviously want to send him a picture of something rude , but I won't , I'll send him an actual one . There you go , walliams .

There you go , there's , there's , ah that's really good , sir , and you did all that yourself we did all that yeah . Wow , oh , braden looks great . He does I mean , you all look great , but Braden looks special . So yes , wow .

First look at family culture days and doing things .

Yeah , it's a lot of work . Actually , we didn't think of it , did we ?

Yeah , it did take a bit of time , yeah .

You've got the black country dialect on the back . Guess the meaning .

That was a quiz . So that was the kind of arbin yeah , or being your mate , so that was a quiz actually I could have done that as part of the how you been . So if you look on the letter tatters , tatters , tatters , tatters , tatters .

Yeah , what are tatters ?

no , they're men who come around and pick up steel . So you know the people who come around and go . You're only scrap metal . They're called the Tatters .

Cora , cobbon , cora .

Cobbon aye Shea .

That'll be either . Gotta get on like .

No , it means she's in a bad mood . She's Cora Cobbon .

Oh , cora , cobbon , Cora .

Cobbon aye Shea , boston , it's Boston . Is he no good ? It means good stuff like Boston .

It's Good means good stuff , Like most is lovely , brilliant , buzz the buzz .

I need to catch the buzz , oh the buzz , the buzz . But the size Z is inside of S's , so it's the buzz .

I could murder a scabios Scabios .

I'm so hungry I could murder a scabios .

Sandwich .

It means I'm hungry .

I could eat a scabios .

It means I'm Fair enough oh the answer's on the right . Yeah , so the idea was the black country dialect's on the left and the actual meaning is on the right .

So people had to link them up .

Really good . Oh wow , People enjoyed that . People enjoyed the game and we did a thing about the food about how bad the food is .

That's really nice . It cuz this . Yeah , this is some heritage in it it is .

It is indeed so . He'll always remember that now . So yes , I think you do for love volumes when you got kids .

I finished off my blueberry waffle crunch and do you have another ? So I'm going into the firsty-first fridge and what's cold , what's wet . Why is it so wet ? Oh no , the fridge is wet .

Maybe you haven't got a leak in the shop at all , it's just your fridge leaking .

Oh , what is this ?

Oh , it's a black can lid . This is the opposite .

This is the absolute opposite can to the other one . It's a very black can , it's a Neon Raptor .

Neon Raptor Abandoned Dragons .

Imperial Maple and Hazelnut Stout . It's still sweet , but nutty . It's a stout .

Maple and Hazelnut stout sounds delicious 13% neon neon raptor 13% . What's wrong with you , you animal ?

I shouldn't laugh , but it says alcohol 13% . Please enjoy responsibly .

Nobody can enjoy a 13% beer I'm doing it again . Okay , I'm lowering my desk .

Oh , Mr Hardrickus has got a stand-up desk which he sits down on , but just up as oh , that's an interesting noise , ladies and gentlemen .

Oh , oh it's . Oh , that's an interesting noise , ladies and gentlemen , oh it's .

Raptor Brewing Company Abandoned Dragons . Lovely , well done .

Oh , that is lovely , that's I mean , I can taste their , Do you know where ?

they're from Er .

I can't remember Nottingham , oh Nottingham .

Huge , rich , dark , sweet and sticky . A band of dragons is a big hazelnut and maple imperial stout embrace , don't , don't .

Can you read the description again , because it sounds like you're talking about yourself . What was it ? Huge , yeah , rich oh yeah , dark oh yeah .

Sweet and sticky . Definitely dark oh yeah , sweet and sticky , definitely that could . That's absolutely describing you and not the beer . Okay , that's a lovely drop . I wish I'd started that , because it's a bit late to be drinking at 13 .

But anyway , save the best till last . Neon raptors oh , some of the some of their cans are very good .

They've got a plant planetoid smash I'm I'm I'm fickle misogynist , as you probably realize , but I'm sold by a can if the can looks good it's the artist in you , yeah so I had a first look at the google voice search oh yeah , so it sounds a bit geeky , a bit boring it is 2024 .

This has been around for a long time , has it ? Yes , but yes , go on . Sorry not to piss on you , but yes , I've been around since 2015 .

You're going to , ironically , google now it's been around since 2012 . You didn't use google voice search . Did you ?

you typed it I was gonna record a podcast . I use my voice when I'm trying to talk to you . Yeah , so it's been around for 12 years , so it's good okay .

Well , maybe this function hasn't worked , since I'm sure it's got a bit of AI involved . So Google Voice Search use on the app . So for the last year , but very least since February when we got married , I brought up in conversation that I've got this annoying earworm stuck in my head of this song .

And then it goes on to it sounds like the song from ferris .

Yeah , I think that's a ferris bueller song and uh , maybe I'm wrong , probably I mean maybe , because it might be , it's been used and typically I couldn't quite picture it , but I mentioned it at the wedding and then everyone else was like oh yeah . And everyone else was in the same thing . They couldn't quite what is that song ?

I'm going to take a guess .

Go for it , go on .

Is it ? Oh yeah , by Yellow .

Oh , ooh .

But I mean the brush your teeth bit . I don't know who I wish I said .

Yeah , basically , I should have asked you in the first place . So anyways .

Sorry .

Anyways . So I did Google voice search after about at least five , six months , but it's been going on before then for a year . I used google voice search , I signed on the phone gonna brush , brush , brush , brush your teeth . Gonna brush , brush , brush , brush your teeth . And then , boom , yellow the race , but it might be called other other things might come up .

Well , is it so ? This one ? So that's the song . I was thinking it was there , cause obviously you've sung that , you got the tone right , but the brush your brush , brush your teeth . I'm like I'm not sure where that comes from .

Well , that's the song , but I've obviously got that from that tune . It's in the back of my head subconsciously . That I've never heard of for at least God knows how many years from somewhere .

Well , maybe it was your mom and dad used it when they were teaching you how to brush your teeth , because , obviously , so that was like 1987 .

So you'd have been like three years old , yeah maybe when that song would have come out , so it would have been very popular on the radio , but it's weird how weird little tunes just come out from nowhere and you're subconscious .

Yeah .

Yeah , so it was a first look at Google Voice Search , which has been around since 2012 . Mm-hmm , but there must be some AI involved in that voice search oh yeah let's find that song , because I know um scott mills and radio tv does a . Uh , what's it called the ?

yeah , the police , like the kind of record place where they're trying to find people who have earworms like yeah they're ph in to certain songs .

They don't know what they are and work it out . Google search for my little tune . But , that being said , if I just phoned you you would have got it .

Well , I was like , I can recognise this song . I can recognise this . Google voice search . Well , you got Shazam as well . Shazam was good .

Shazam was more , for if you hear something on the radio point it and Shazam , I think they went bust in the end , or someone bought them no , shazam's still around , isn't it ? It was popular then it wasn't popular , then someone bought them , I think .

No , Apple bought them .

Apple bought them .

Yes , they must have done pretty well . Yeah , very good . Well , there you go . Next time you have an earworm , if Google Search lets you down , just ring me and I'll help you identify what the song is yeah .

Yeah , who needs Google ? Ask for the net or name yeah , he wouldn't .

He would know , because he knows everything . He's not here today , I don't think .

No jokes to end on . Really . I know a lot of jokes about retired people , but none of them work Very good . You're an idiot , you're an idiot , you're , you're an idiot , but uh , I've got . I've got a question for the network name .

If he is around , oh okay , handy . Well , I'm so , I'm at work . Yeah , I'm not drinking and I am in the office . Um , but he's only up the road . Hang on , let me just . Let me just give him a quick call here .

Any hang out did you go get my neighbor .

I'll put him on . I put him on loudspeaker on , yeah look at my deluxe over hello , yes , yes , can you bring ? Can you bring him down to the bring bring , no , bring , no all known down to the office . Would you quickly please , right , it's gonna be about 10 minutes , so you can cut this next bit , can't you ? Oh , he's here .

I'm going to the toilet .

All right , I'll see you later now , goodbye , craig .

Hello , hello , no , oh no .

Are you enjoying ?

them . Really . I am , I don't mind . Let's get back to it actually I'm having a Neon Raptor Brewing Company Abandoned . Dragons Imperial Maple Hazelnut Stout 30% .

Your eyes appear to have glazed over I've just realized .

I've read the description already . You did , although I wouldn't know that because I've only just arrived oh , you know , you know , although you know , oh I am wise and stalking you so no or no ? so this is a difficult question . I'm going to put you on the spot . Okay .

well , I think you'll find that you are a little bit glazed and drunk , because I already answered that in the previous episode , remember , and I think I , I think I summarized it . I think I summarized it in three words , to which they have not changed it's coming home , yay .

that was it . No one's wrote in . But listeners please , if you want to ask a question to no one .

I will happily answer them as best as I can .

Write in too .

Firstlookgnomes at Outlookcom .

Hey , he knows it all . Thank you , Null or Gnome .

I think now my last bit of wisdom is to text your wife and ask her to put you to bed . I'm so bad at this , possibly with a book . I don't think you need to drink that half of it .

It is very nice . It's very strong .

You don't need to drink the rest of it , it's very nice . I think you've probably had enough . Maybe a bucket will be needed and a kebab .

And a kebab . Oh , kebab and chips , lovely , lovely .

And garlic sauce , mmm .

Mmm , I almost forgot , you almost forgot .

Tips for dads . Oh Well , this is good because I'm the know-it-all gnomes , so I should probably have some tips for dads .

Hey Tips for dads .

Tips for dads . Well , actually I do have one . It's again nice segue from you being drunk .

Tips for the dads .

Dads Alcohol-free beer . Don't judge the brands . So I like the odd drink . Don't judge the brands . Okay , let me explain what I mean by that , daniel . So , as you can see , I am drinking or Craig has been drinking 0% Guinness today Because he's driving and he's going to have a drink 0% Guinness .

I thought you were drinking 0% Guinness , 0% .

He's not drinking for the podcast today Because too much alcohol is bad for you , but I know from experience Craig does not like Carlsberg Lager , pilsner , danish Lager he's not a fan . However , their alcohol free beer is very , very good really . Same with Corona . Corona is very , very good alcohol free , and there are some that are just not very good .

Yeah , I quite like the alcoholic one .

Budweiser . Yeah , you have no taste , but yes , that's a tip for Dad , if you don't like actual cold .

I don't know what you mean , Craig . Still try the Nord Berset Like a blueberry muffin , waffle cone crunch , triple scoop beer .

That's ridiculous . You're an animal . Also . I have one other piece of advice tips for dads , for anyone moving home get a good solicitor . It's a horrendous thing to have to do . Get a good solicitor . That's all I'll say about that Read into it as you will .

My tips for dance is so for the for the quarter final , I went out and had a few beers before a morning of having to look after the little one from half seven at the morning . You fool , but it's fine . But it's fine , you know . I know how much to drink . I drank a lot but I know my limits .

Oh you animal .

Even though you think you can look after them when they're 50 beers , don't forget their little lungs .

Poor Logan , and he wouldn't have even been able to kind of like , no , like Dad , for goodness sake .

No , I say because the final pint I had it was tasting really chemically . Okay , it tastes like there's chemicals through the pipes .

Yeah , that was definitely it .

But apparently Georgie thinks the way . I think it was the multiple beers as opposed to the final beer , but I think it's the final beer .

No , the wise old gnome is back again and he's going to say this Sorry , Mr Hodgkins is back as well . Yes , we're here together , your wife , hello Greg , hello gnome , the wife is correct , you're an animal and the chemical taste you had was nothing to do with the cleaning fluids of the pipes .

And I don't know if it was because I've not had a few beers in a while out and about , plus a pizza out and about for a while after a few beers , but it was the best pizza I've had in ages was that because you were drunk , maybe ?

yeah , just enhance the flavor but um . Did you enjoy yourself ?

I did , I did , I did that's the biggest tip for all , isn't it ?

Go and enjoy yourself once in a while . Yes , do enjoy yourselves .

If you're lucky enough to have a lovely wife that will look after the kid , wash it out and about drinking beers , watching the football , having a pizza , then enjoy it Absolutely .

Make sure the house has windows open for the next day and on that note , oopsie dance , oopsie dance , oopsie dance with special guest , the know-it-all gnome , say goodbye , know-it-all gnome , goodbye , bye , know-it-all gnome , he's off . His voice changes sometimes I think he forgets what he's meant .

Sometimes , it does . I'm glad you managed to pop in whilst he was here .

Yeah , well , he's stumbling around the place .

He's getting old that's good , is he ?

yeah , but he's alright , though . He's 307 , so you know he's getting on 307 . I think that's quite young for a gn actually . But anyway , More about that next episode . What about ?

that next episode . Tell you what next episode is actually one of the . I listened back to some old episodes .

Oh dear , how was that for an experience .

It was a mix bag . There were some classics and there was some classics and there was some old dear . But on one of the episodes we were talking about the next season and we promised listeners that we would have a Forbes listed guest . Oh , the next season , there's still two episodes left , but we did promise listeners for a Forbes listed guest .

So just wanted to point that out , just in case the listeners , in case anyone's going on holiday with said Forbes guest .

Yes . Okay , we'll see what we can do , and also , the next episode is the penultimate episode , with the last episode being in September , until season 3 , hopefully well , when does season 3 start ?

November I was going to say we can't have much of a break . Really , I thought we started in September .

No , we've got an October break because we've got a bit of a bit of an event happening oh yes we do .

Yes , that's true maybe by then I'll have the website really your final final thoughts ? Yes , final thoughts are uh , look after yourselves like it's yeah . Enjoy holidays um enjoy time with families have a break . Work hard , but party hard too , and rest hard we have a holiday coming up now , which is well needed .

Portugal yeah , looking forward to it .

You know , next time we chat England could be the European champions well , I hope you're right .

Of course you are .

I hope so . It's coming home . It's coming home alright . Alright , everybody , we'll see you later see you next month . Bye bye , thank you .