Why is Ben ghosting Natalie?

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Natalie is on the phone today and she's getting ghosted by Ben. So we're gonna talk to her and then a few minutes call Ben and see it feels all us why he's ghosting her, and maybe get her another date. But first, Natalie, how long has it beensus you her from Ben?

Well, it's been a few a few days.

Now, just a couple of days. Are you sure you're getting ghosted?

Yeah, it's just like a weird vibe, you know, like I just want to know what's going on.

Well, after a couple of days, I feel like, you know you're getting ghosted if you've tried to reach out to them a few times and then you don't respond. Did you try to reach out to him?

I sign him a text, yeah, and I'm nothing back. So I don't know. I don't get it.

So the vibe feels like it shifted somehow. Well, let's talk about your date. How did that go? How did how did you guys meet?

I mean it wasn't like, you know, a wild date or anything. We just like went to this cute little Italian place, and it was really little key but like viby and I don't know, romantic and candles and all that good stuff, you know, and conversation was awesome, which you know isn't always the case. And yeah, okay, there was like wine involved and all that, but you know, it was.

It was good. I thought it was good. And I liked that he.

Wasn't really trying to like impress me, you know, or anything like. It wasn't like flashy or he was just grounded. And we talked about music and like you know, wanting to travel in our favorite shows, and it just felt real, you know, like good and real and he seemed real, and so yeah, I'm like into him, and I just I don't know, I just felt like he was different.

He was different when you were on the date or like at a certain point he got different.

No, like I feel like as a as a guy, as.

Like as in a good thing that he was different.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's just like a different kind of dude, you know.

Did you feel like he was vibing with you too?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Is there anything that happened, you.

Know, we need out and okay, I felt like it was good and I felt like, oh yeah, this could kind of like go somewhere. I was right outside of the restaurant, you know, felt super perfect. So I don't know, I just he was just like this common presence. And I've had so many dates where they're like showing off, but like, I don't know, with him, it was just different and I felt like I could really be myself and like, I don't know, to be cheesy, but I felt like really seen.

And it doesn't hurt that she's like super hot.

I mean, did anything happen on the date that was awkward or could be a reason that you're getting ghosted?

The only thing that I can think of is like I'm so embarrassed. Well, okay, so I kind of accidentally invited him to.

Join me on my solo trip Greece.

How it's dinner, Like I might have gotten like a too excited, you know, like we were just talking about travel and I told him about this trip, and then like I the wine was talking and I just told him to come along and like pretend we were newlyweds and.

Get like.

We should go a Greece and said to be married, Like you, yeah, I could see how that was you know, but that feels like it.

Also could be like, oh, she's clearly had some wine. This is fine.

I don't know.

But he made out with you after that or before that, after.

You know, and it was like a total joke.

Like I was like, oh, you know, like it would be wild kind of thing, you know, but like, oh my god, I mean, why am I already doing talking about trips?

I don't know. And he laughed at.

The time, but like, oh, he's been totally radio silent ever since.

Okay, okay, okay.

And I texted him and like just now it's just you know, I just been like, oh, I hope you're doing well. I had a great time. Would love to see you again.

But okay, we don't have to pretending.

We don't have to pretend to be married anymore.

Yeah, well, we'll see what we can figure it out for you. We'll play a song come back, and then call him and see if he'll tell us why he's ghosting you and maybe get you another date. Okay, okay, all right, we'll play a song, come back and get your first Day follow up next. If you're just joining us for today's First Day follow up. Natalie is on the phone and she's getting ghosted by Ben. So we're about to call him and see if he'll tell us why she's ghosting him, even though we might know why.

You know, it was a great date and I kind of maybe let the lione do for talking and told him to come on a trip to Greece with me.

And Okay, so that might have been. Oh it sounds so bad, all.

Right, and that's the only thing you can think of? Yeah?

Really, yeah, I guess I mean, is that.

Not Enough's the reaction polarized by it?

All right? Well, let's see. Are you ready for us to call him?

Yeah?

Okay, here we go. Hi, I'm asking to Ben please be hey Ben, how are you? This is a radio show. It's called a Jewel Show.

Hi.

I'm Nina.

Hi, I'm Victoria, and I'm Jebel. How are you?

I'm good?

This is uh we're on the radio right now.

Yeah. Have you ever listened to the show before?

Yeah? I actually.

I don't know if you've heard a first date follow up before. But that's where if you go out on a date with somebody and then you ghost them. That person can email us to get you on the phone and ask why you're ghosting them. So that's why we're calling you today, Ben. You're ghosting somebody and they're very confused.

This must be Natalie, right, yes?

Is that right away?

Yeah?

Is it because she wanted to go to Greece and get married?

I mean no, Yeah.

We talked to her and she she was worried that the reason your ghostinger might be because she made a joke about like coming to Greece with her on a trip she has planned and you guys could pretend to be newly weeds and stuff. Is that not why?

No?

No, I mean I'm I clocked that as a joke, So that didn't.

Okay, Okay, that wasn't it. Do you mind telling us why you're ghosting her?

Then?

Well, I mean, okay, here's what I was. We had a good time, Like, we had a good time. Everything was cool, she's amazing.

I like her a lot. But something did happen that kind of like I just couldn't deal with it.

So that's why I ghosted her. All right.

We were at the restaurant, the bartender there was somebody that I had dated before and like, I don't mean just date, I mean like a long term date.

Oh okay, did you know that before you went to the restaurant?

No, no, I no, I'm not insane. That's like it's like worst case scenario for that situation. I had no idea. I didn't even know if she bartended, like, I don't understand. I don't know what's going on in her life since we broke up. But we walked in and you know, me and Natalie, it was just like, oom, and what are you supposed to do at that point? She's there, she's serving us wine. I can't read anybody like I

But it was awkward, yeah, I.

Mean instead of her yelling Ammy, Yeah.

It was.

It was awkward, you.

Know, awkward for you guys. But that's the reason you're ghosting here.

Yeah.

Well, I tried to be cool, like, you know, like I just tried to play it off. But I was pretty I am I was, and I am convinced that Natalie figured it out. Like there's just no way.

She didn't because women just know these things.

They just do they always do, and I didn't want to have to, on top of that, explain everything, and I just want I just didn't want to get into it. So I just needed a clean slate, and I just decided.

To shoot yourself in the foot and get out of everything and like be all by yourself.

Basically. Yeah, I mean it.

Does sound like a super awkward situation. But when Natalie was texting you or whatever to feel like she wanted to confront you or something.

I wasn't sure.

I mean I think she knew, but I wasn't really sure what she was getting at, you know what I mean.

We did make out after, you.

Know, because just things happened, but I thought it was best to just, you know.

Act like it didn't happen and move.

On because it was just going to be like from square one to have to deal with an X and then how you know I did or didn't handle it.

It's just it's just too much.

But if you thought she already knew, why don't you just say hey, like sorry for the awkwardness.

Women are a little bit more forgiving than you think, especially with those things on a first date. Later maybe not, but then.

Yeah, isn't it too late at that point?

I don't think so. I mean, if she didn't like it, that would be definitely grounds for ghosting.

Yeah. I don't think I handled it the best way. I kind of, I mean I kind of panicked, and I just went with that decision, and then they kind of felt like once I'd gone down.

That path, that was hard to turn back.

Yeah, all right, Ben, Well, thank you for being honest with us, and now I have to be honest with you. Natalie is actually on the phone listening and wants to talk to you.

Really.

Yeah, yep, yeah, really, I do want to talk to you because I actually did pick up on that. Oh and I also picked up on the fact that you were using me as like a little pond in whatever game the two of you are playing. I mean, you take the place, buddy, like that was clear, and then once you went running my text, then I knew that that was the case.

Yeah, like, clearly you're.

Still sleeping with this girl, and I was just there so that you could you make her jealous and you were not responding to me, because yeah, you're right, I wanted to confront you and you used me in this little game, so I'm now using you in the little game to get me the radio.

Dan, So you kind of lied to us.

A little bit.

Yeah, okay, at.

All what happens?

And then like he's all like flirting with the bartender and they're like pretending they don't know each other. But yeah, I saw when she would like touch her hand or like rub your back as she walks by you.

Clearly it was like.

I don't know if it's like a game or whatever. He was like a rather jealous, but I don't really want to be a part of it. Like you're not the help.

That is not what happens. That is not what happened.

She's the one this person cheated on me, So it wouldn't even make sense for her to be.

Flirting with me. It doesn't even make sense.

Okay, So it makes sense that you did bring me there in front of.

Her because she cheated on you.

And then you're like, oh, ok time with the girl and like whatever, and bake out me in front of the restaurant.

Oh yeah, you mete out with in front of the restaurant. That's right.

How would I know?

How would I know the schedule? Of people's hours. How would I even line that up? It doesn't make any sense.

You know what, It was the weekend night, and you know she's a bartender and you know where she works.

So I'm sorry, But my guess is he didn't I didn't.

Yeah, I didn't know. I didn't know.

Would you like another day when Natalie will pay for it?

Yeah? I don't.

Want another date with the bartender.

Maybe you guys to pay for that one.

All right, Well, I don't know if you got an answer, Natalie, but you got you accomplished what she wanted to do. Okay, all right.

This really took a lot of turns well.

What I expected, And at least I can move forward because I knew my instincts were actually right, you know what I mean?

Like that getting ghosted and not knowing why.

That's the So also, when I said that Ben was different, what I meant by that is exactly the same as every other.

It's a crisis telling you.

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