Fire Escape Cast #96

Hello, everybody, Welcome back to the fire Escape Cast. It is episode ninety six. That's no Venta, he says. If you're in France, I just got back from France recently. I'm still on French time. Whatever it is. It's always French time. Think that's Greenwich. I think that's Greenwich. Meantime, I'm back. That's not your last episode.

Every time Mike says anything of value, we can just go ooh la la because he's always going to France and he's so Frene.

So that's Mary kesh Hi. And also here is always with Dan Riker.

It's still my favorite thing to look at Mike Maharty's Instagram stories, and every time before I press this picture, it's like, all right, wine or cats. That's like my favorite Instagram game show. And then sometimes it's bonus points and you're in France tweeting about wine and that's what I got the last week.

The end of my pro bio says mostly wine and cats. Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, I just got back. It was a nice visit. I was there for work, but I went. I went to a few spots I really like. I went. There was a little Christmas pop up market, over in the sixth also, Notre Dame I think, just did its grand reopening after the.

Already that just went went away.

Yeah, yeah, I forgot. They put you know, they put their best people on it. I assume they do. I don't know any I don't have any insight info, but we were in a.

High priority for them. That's a huge straw.

It's their national one of their symbols and ship. But I was the tents were all set up around it, so I saw that, but I was gone before that. I had maybe the most nightmarish nightmarishly close missing my flight back from France. Really yeah, So I had a twelve fifty five PM flight back to Newark. So I woke up at what was it like eight fifty five four hours. I woke up four hours ahead of the flight. I was like, oh, I kind of overshot this. I can sleep for a little longer, and I snoozed it.

Maybe he only knew the words that he gave you when he picked you up. Maybe he doesn't speak English. He only knows like hi, thanks for taking the super And then any other time you're talking to him, he's like, I have no idea what this means.

That's entirely possible. But I got to the airport at eleven thirty, and you know, I hadn't gone through customs yet, and I had a bag to check. I had several bottles of liquid that I was checking, kind of liquid Mike Wine, Chartruse, cremdick Asis, and one of them was a gift for Amanda. So I really wanted to make sure I got that. I didn't like dump anything or not dump it, but like get rid of it. So I got to United's bag check and they had shut

The old disappointed life routine.

And then I get to security. I get through customs smoothly enough, but I get to security and they're one of the tray conveyor belts at TSA was shut down because they had a bomb dog sniffing. I think it was like a routine sniff of the conveyor belt, so we're all, like everybody at the United terminal was going through one like tray conveyor belt, so it's taken forever. I made my flight just as it was like my I literally hit the gate when my group was called.

I'd like connecting ones that, like, you know, if the first one was delayed and you have to just like spread through a terminal and you barely make it.

But I don't think I've ever straight up missed the flight.

I have had the closest call of my life last year going to Spain, I think we should have missed the flight. We just we just cut it way too close. Everything was late, there was traffic. It was our fault too for like leaving as late as we did and assuming it would be fine. And they also said the

Oh it's Spanish, it's okay.

Oh okay, and we sprinted to the gate. And of course, in just the rush of everything, I left a full water bottle in my book bag, so when I went through security, I got stopped because of my water bottle. And they kind of each security protocol is different with how much of a dick they want to be to you. But in this one they were like, do you want to throw the bottle away or do you want to go back through security? And I was like walking away as I said, throw it away. So yes, of course

Running and then you hit and then you run into the person taking the tickets, and then all the tickets scatter, and then you get a plane to New York City in South Florida, and then two robbers come and they're seeking revenge from when you fucked with them in Chicago. Yeah.

Yeah, it was a different time in my life.

Times after that, but we don't talk about those two five.

The third time it happened to was someone else. Yeah, and also Prince Stewart was there. Yeah, oh god he was. Wow, I forgot about that. Oh here's a question. I actually I do not know why you can't. Why can't you bring liquids on a plane bomb star through through security?

Probably the easiest thing is the answer is nine to eleven.

Yeah, there's probably just like certain liquords that you could probably do bomb stuff with or something, and so they're just like that, don't you can have anything that you get after the gate?

But that's it? Is that why there's a limit on the ounces of like hygiene stuff? Okay, yeah, they probably determined that something like that. I don't know if it was an alcohol thing or whatever, but.

No, oh no, it's easy to get alcohol in I've never love it when you have alcohol.

I have brought so.

Much alcohol onto planes and it's never been a problem. I don't needymore.

But wait, how did you get it through security?

You just bring the fucking like I used to like fly with like four or five airplane bottles of like the mini bottles. Yeah, so like none of them. They don't even like take them out. And I've seen them see it before when like pulling my switch out, but they asked if you.

Have liquid, right, and they just don't care if it's a certain if it's below the three ounces or as long as.

It's below the ounce amount. And it used to supposed to be needed to be in a plastic baggie and they don't care about that anymore either, so long as it's below the required amount. Because I travel with all sorts of like makeup liquid and no one bats an eye. But if it's a twelve ounce bottle of water, you know they're tackling me.

Yeah.

I also, like I have been in trouble for just wearing my giant bomb sweater, which is so stupid.

That's something every single time I'm wearing like a giant bomb hoodie, I always take it off or reverse it or put it in my bag or something.

Yeah, it's like we should just.

You should get a sweatshirt that just says small bomb okay, under through under three and a half fluid half ounces.

Yeah, yeah, yes, they're gonna think that's hilarious.

And things went really well on the Under three and a half Fluid ounces Bomb Couch at the Game Awards.

That's going to go gret It rolls off, brevity.

Rolls off the tongue. Yeah.

Anything to stick it to TSA. I would. I would give up a lot of branding just to just to wipe the smug looks on their faces. As they all have different rules and requirements, it really like irritates me how some of them will be like, yeah, you need to take off your shoes and it's like, well, not in any other airport. You can't talk to me like I'm an idiot because you've changed your rules. I don't know your airport or you.

I finally used it, was able to use Global entry. Oh it's great. I've had it for a bit. I had it when we came back from France, but I didn't want to leave Amanda in line by herself, so I did not use it. It's like scary how easy it is. You smile, you look at a camera and then they oh, now that I looked into a lens, it said wait, there's like three two one. It's like, yes, we know you, we have you. Everyone and then you tell the guy your name on the way out. So's yeah, yes,

Was cool for some parts. Yeah. I like the self driving cars that you could take a nap, and.

We got those now too, right.

I still don't like they say that they're just like driving all around San Francisco now and like I've never seen one, granted that's them to San Francisco, is even New York.

In San Francisco I saw, if I would say, for every four regular cars, I saw only.

Just imagining Dan running into intersections and look at cars had on to see if they have drivers.

Like hey, wait, so can you It's just like an uber thing, like you use an app and you just take a nap in the back.

That sounds pretty cool.

I think I think a lot of people have anxiety about riding them because they do every once in a while, they do strange little things, and it's always based on human stuff they can't predict, right, so like a car cutting them off or a pedestrian like walking right in front of them that kind of like absolutely can trip up AI still they're just not they're not prepared for human randomization, like they need to predict everything that I'm gonna do.

It's I've never I haven't poured over the statistics in a while, but I imagine it's probably safer than half the drivers you can get.

That's the thing is, like it is kind of surprising that it would be on the road if there are still hiccups, But also people are idiots and bad drivers, so it's like, I don't know, is it's actually that much less safe.

Half the drivers they justify your work are psychos. Yeah, and they're just cutting left and right.

I have a statistical less likely chance of killing someone or getting into an accident than a regular person, and that's probably how they can get away with it. But again, like you just never know what some crazy person's gonna do, and that's probably when the AI is like I did not predict eight people linking arms for the trees. Not ready. No, I got all this data back here, and I am not prepared for this.

Woman all now. But yeah, but then on the bright side, once you do run over the protesters, they're like the the the hippie tree people you were just talking about. Now it knows to avoid them next time. So you kind of did teaching them, Okay.

Active learning aiah, it's really smart. Yeah, every time it kills a pedestrian, it's always like I've updated my system.

It's the remorse that the cars feel that you know they're not going to make that mistake again.

Now I know that humans can wear yellow jackets, and I won't hit them next time. I see one machine learning?

Why was I programmed to feel pain? It's at his funeral.

It's it's sunglasses on. It's it's in love with another self driving car, and they it just runs straight into it when it's trying to hump it.

Somberly drops off a bouquet of flowers under the casket with its tire hand.

He suspecial, especialcial.

What's been up with you guys since I two episodes ago?

Oh God went home the holidays? Was my dad talks about you a lot?

Yeah? You text me about him talking about me a lot? Yeah?

He texted me about you. He texted me, did you see he got that? Like Marie? I got shrimp and wine. He's like, I'm like, mahardy here look at me with his mind he bought that. Yeah, and then he's like, I'm being fancy like Maharty.

Uh oh oh shrimp mac and cheese with white wine and yeah.

And he texted me how fancy he was being, And He's like, do you actually enjoy your time with Maharty?

He's one of my best friends. I've known him for like fourteen years. You enjoy your time with me? Of course Dan does. No, he doesn't, No, he does No. Me and him always get along really well on like the live streams We've done a ba He you.

Can talk sports, which he will instantly respect someone if you can talk sports.

The last time I hung out with him, we got like what it was with me you Amanda Annimal We got yeah. And then when did karaoke and he had a blast. I thought. He still just.

Teaches about and talks about you all the time, and it's usually and I'm like, I'm a heardy.

I think I'm flattered. I'm in his head. Did I tell I said this on the BombCast? But did I tell you what happened with this house? No? But now I'm no.

This is on the pall scale, even by Paul standards of weird decisions. This is mount Rushmore of.

His entire life. And trust me, that's a crazy mount Rushmore.

I don't know if I'm ready.

I get home and this guy we're talking for like four hours and then he's like, I got some big news and I was like what. And he's like, he never has big news because he just kind of does the same thing all the time.

Like what, doesn't do anything?

No, he doesn't leave the house, he doesn't talk to people, he doesn't socialize. So it's like, what is your big news? And he goes, I sold the house And I was like what. Like he's living in this place for like twenty five years. It looks exactly this today as it looked twenty five years ago, same everything, and it's like this is a wild thing for him to do without

Like, wh are you talking to the bank we paid the inspector.

Yeah, So anyway, I'm just like trying to purse together, like is this a good idea? Like this is just weird how we didn't tell anyone. He didn't tell his daughters, his sisters, anyone. And I was like, so, what's the plan, because like when do you have to be out He's like, oh, like a December ninth, So.

Tim up, yes, yeah, yes.

And he told me this on Thanksgiving. I was like wait, and like ten days you have to be out here? Like where are you moving? He goes, well, that's the thing like when I decided to do this, I hadn't thought about this stuff.

Oh my god, where am I going to live next?

So he doesn't know what this is a motherfucker that if he's ever on a flight for like three weeks ahead of time, he's checking the weather, he's checking the flight status. He's just like everything, a single thing has been planned out like crazy, and he's sent home fucking house without a planet.

On house Mary.

Yeah, so he is moving in to a extended stay smoking.

You have any friend that's too woke?

Yeah, that's me. That's what we all know. So okay, I'm sorry, I I So he's moving on hotel. So he's moving.

Into an extended stay smoking hotel. Okay, And so came on to this is the guy that will not buy anything if he doesn't have a cubon.

He's like super duper cheap.

And he also doesn't know what anything costs since like nineteen ninety two. Like when we went to Boston last year, he was like, find a hotel near Fenway that's like maximum sixty dollars a night. Dad, That's just not that's not how costs anymore. So I don't think he knows how much it's going to cost to Like, as of this.

Recording, where's this stuff going.

In a storage locker? So he's putting stuff in a storage locker?

What about it is furniture.

Oh, that's the other thing.

So he's bringing all that he has like a twenty five year old fridge that doesn't work, so he has to shoved towels and to keep air from coming out, it's got a hose snaking around the back and dripping into a bucket.

He has to drain a couple of times a day.

And it just said like, oh, bright side is you'll at least get to start over with a new fridge. And he's like, oh no, I'm bringing that what like the most difficult to move big in.

The world, and it's broken and decades old.

That's a part of the sale of the house.

Though I don't know if he told him he's taking the fucking broken fridge.

I mean, is there I have a question.

Is there more than a zero percent chance he might just live in this extended stay hotel the rest of his life?

I mean that is the concern with him is that, you know, he doesn't like doing things. So my thought is like, oh god, he's going to get a stuff in there. He's going to get comfortable. I asked him several times. He did say He's like, oh no, no, I got I've been moving to a place once it's perfect, but I am going to definitely move into a place. I'm like, what's perfect. He's like, I'm thinking of like a house. It's like a cabin in the woods one

Him out of it. It's too late legally binding. No, he's not even there anymore. He's living in a motel, a smokable motel, which you just know is probably a big dinger, and he's gonna probably just jam it up in there and then die in it.

If not, he's sixty one, that'd be I think a lot of time in a smoking hotel, even with his life.

Scot Paul, you have bigger fish to fry than my highbrow hobby's annoying you, Yes.

Just for send more time thinking about you and wine, and he thought about where he's going to move.

Next time someone's bothering you, just pretend you're on the phone like the rest of us. Yeah, say I'm sorry, have headphones and I don't know I have headphones. Put like a wear like a VR mask while you're smoking. Next you go on your back and by by a door that needs a wooden thing to lock. Are you talking about when you put a little like a ship rod, it's just a rod to the sliding door. Yeah, just so can't when you need to go out. Yeah.

And then I bring that up and I'm like, it's more complicated than that. You don't understand. And I was like, well, just get you can get a whole new door. That's not that's not an option.

That's not an option. Okay.

The least complicated option is selling all of your house and packing up all of your ship and moving into a fucking motel.

He's a signelay. The easiest way's.

That says, don't talk to me.

Yeah, yeah, I don't. Yeah, it's just it's it's always a surprise. Actually, it's usually never a surprise. It's usually exactly what you've seen the last eight hundred times you've seen him. But this one is like, oh wait, he actually made a big change and this has not been thought through it.

All, and like we had a huge change. It's a life change.

Yeah.

We were like being his daughter and his sister were bringing it up a Thanksgiving. He's like, it's gonna be fine, everything's fine. It's gonna be totally fine. All right, So like checking with them, like any movement on stuff. He was like, I'll figure it out.

What if he secretly won the lottery and he's not telling anybody, and like he ends up in a.

I think that's a Paul record move right there.

Really big like wooden lodge in the woods.

No, he wouldn't like No, he would still buy exactly the same stuff he buys and live exactly how he lived.

I know he spend the money on anything, give it to you you No, No, definitely not that. Oh I know.

Actually, okay, is it pussy?

Oh that's a hold to do?

Sean cut all this. I didn't say anything. I didn't either. I just said I knew what it was.

I think I think I know him the best on anybody.

So yeah, we're all hoping the best. We're all Paul there, hopefully find something he's happy with. We'll check in.

Yeah, best of luck, Paul. Yeah, enjoy your wine, white wine, mac and cheese. Yes, yes, sounds terrible. It does sound pretty gross with you there.

I'm not gonna beat that. That's the crazy fucking ship I've ever heard, Like little hotel has a hope, like, does it have a kitchen? You know, does it microwave?

He hasn't looked into it yet. Extended stays usually have a kitchen at Wait, he's not at the hotel yet.

No, he hasn't even looked at Like, he doesn't even know if there are any around where he lives.

He's just like, I'll figure it out. Okay, gotcha's interesting.

Shows up on your front porch. You're gonna have to turn off the light so he thinks you're not home.

You just know where where headphones. Pretend you're on the phone. He won't he won't be able to bother you. Yeah, that's right. Teach him.

Teach him the most difficult lesson a son can teach.

A father a masterful perry by going on my back deck. You can't get back there.

Put a pole in your back deck sliding door.

Yeah he knows, he doesn't. It's a forest field. All it takes is a wooden rod to stop him.

Yeah, like a weird vampire.

You wouldn't need Like if he was in prison, you wouldn't need an actual jail cell. You just use a sliding door with a wooden rod on his side. No less, Yes, that he could open. No, it's a big thing. It's more complicated than you think. He'd like in prison himself in his house for the last twenty five years. Yeah, it's fun stuff. Did he ever comment on what I named my Hulu profile?

He occasionally does, but I think it makes him mad and he doesn't like bring it up. Like he pulled up Hulu while I was at his place and it was like right there and he's just like, I feel like it's just a lot of silence, just shaking his head.

That's been I've kept that current one for like eight months now. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, Mary, it's we we all share Hulu Premium or whatever it's called.

Oh that's nice. Isn't that a crime?

No?

We all pay no individual accounts. We just share each other's names with each other.

Yeah, Sean, cut this too, continue to storry. I changed my I think we talked about this much earlier in the episode count, but I changed the name every once a while just to mess with them, because he told me at one He told Dan at one point that it annoys him because he watches it before bed so often.

Well, that one is true in some aspects? Does he in some aspects?

Oh yeah, Oh that's not funny anymore because it's Yeah, there was a dog coming off the subway yesterday. Speaking of boobies and people, we all like, there was a dog coming off the subway yesterday, and the owner was like, no, Zenya. No, the dog's name was Zenya. This is a very weird what's going on in my head now? Yeah, this dog is named after my sexual awakening.

I did min Max's charity stream a few weeks ago, and they Hansen told me the day of He's like, hey, we're doing something called a hear me Out cake where it's like we have a cake and everyone has to come with like a bunch of different like ideas of like hear me out. Here's an unconventional thing I find attractive.

That was a theme as you had to say yeah.

So it was like so when I got there, everything else was like everyone that was on that show, was saying stuff like Ben had like it was like a tron bike and like one of them was like a mouse cursor that was like curvy or something, and so everyone just had a bunch of stuff, And I don't think I have a lot of unconventional So, like my person was like, here's Bombka Johnson next to like a weird tron bike that Hansen wants to fuck.

I don't think it's she's unconventional. But I couldn't think, like I don't have any like fiction people with her thighs that is unconventionally attractive.

To kill people like that's normally not what you find a dragon's hot out.

If that's about I'm the weirdest man in the world.

You are, But I think, like hear me, out cakes are very specifically about like it should be something that everybody else in the room is like, that's insane, you couldn't possibly be attracted to. Probably really should be like Clippy, the you know, Windows icon. It should be some obscure thing that is like barely cognizant. It should it should freak people out. That's the purpose of it. If it's if it's regular hot attractive human. You fucked it up.

I tried to think of like, No, it's just like hot ladies are put I just want.

To put a bo like nacho uh cheese on there because I think, like on your darkest night, you might.

I'm not horny, Like there's difference between and horny. Hunger and horny are very different.

Not.

Your cheese has never entered the periphery of my mind during a sexual moment.

Uh. Some people find what if?

But what if? But what if she was hot.

The nacho If a hot lady had nacho cheese.

On her, No, if the nacho cheese had tits.

No, just floating boobs, no cheesy bobs. No, it's just completely different parts of my brain trying to Are you you're really trying to tell us that cheesy boobs are hot? Do you you want to tell.

Us something I'm just saying I think might hear me out cake is cheesy boobs.

It's not like a dig. But I don't want to be accused of king shaming your love for cheesy.

Under whatever you're into cheesy boobs.

I mean you have to think beyond tradition. I'm trying to like push you in ways because that's again the point of this exercise is that perhaps it is a new design of like there's lady compartments and pieces to this being, but they are also often made of cheese and nachos or or something like that.

This is not appealing to me at.

Some kind of bean burrito, some.

Y cheese in a beef burrito.

Some kind of caseita case crito.

I mean, if Monica Blue in a tortilla and like she'd be hot, but like it'd be od because it's Monica Balucci, not because of the tortilla.

I think it'll be hot regardless. Okay, wait, hold on a second. Let Medsy you're I'm certain something. Can I change my video field, choose avatar in let me try that. I can't add something? What is it? Bullshit? I was gonna just replace my video with a Famka Johansen photo. And then that was the extent of the joke. I told you, I'm sure, Yeah, jealous, yeah, fucking killing it man. But no, I don't want to fuck cheese.

Well that is fine, you don't have to. But the point of the exercise is to expand your mind outside of traditional hot people of the gender or people that you would usually be attracted to. It's to like push yourself, uh way beyond.

But isn't the idea that, like, oh, here are someones. There's some examples of that I have found attracted throughout my life, and like I was like trying to think of some and I like, I have no shame in this again, like people be into whatever you want to, but like I just I couldn't think of like unconventional there.

You know, I just don't think that you've ever pushed yourself. This doesn't actually have to be something that you've ever thought of before. This could be like for the first time in your life. You'd be like, uh, you know the girl Grimlin in Grimlin's.

Two a little Yeah, she's supposed to be.

That to hear Me out Cake.

She's supposed to be Yeah, absolutely not.

Hear me out cake, though.

Not for me.

That's well what if what if we covered cheese?

No, that's not There's definitely been some movies throughout there's been There's been many movies throughout my life that I like catch myself thinking like why am I Why am I horny? Now? Like Power Rangers the Ives anything to do with the use secret of these turtles secret of Power Rangers. Oh secrets, but then yes, my power Power Rangers was the ives A.

Turtle would definitely be like a hear me out cake situation, because anytime you're getting into any type of animal cartoons, you're starting to push the limitations.

Here pass on animals and cartoons.

I mean, that's the point of this exercise again. And I can also see like a like a judgment free zone, and I agree with that stuff going on here.

I could see, here's what for you, confiance. Okay, you just covered in for from head to toe.

No, he already lost me.

It's not a free no, but I'll get you there one day. No, I don't. That's a weird thing to We're not gonna have an episode left by the time eats editing. Yeah, nothing else new for me, I don't think.

Uh huh what did I do?

Uh? Oh?

I went to a really cool themed bar.

Well, I saw that.

I like a good themed experience. And this bar is called Raven's Manner, and it's known for having kind of obscure morbid curiosities. Right, so yeah, snake in a jar, skeletons, but of like animals.

That are real cursor stagger.

Yeah, Actually, that's that's a great example.

These are also all things I find unconventionally attracted.

Okay, they're all on your freak cake.

Daggers, yep.

Anyway, for Christmas, they do Crampus, which is a nightmare holiday special, and they decorate the whole bar. It's already a scary bar, that's its point, right, and it has like themed rooms and horror rooms that you have to like escape out of or whatever. That's its like thing. But now they've decorated it, and it's fucking crazy. They had Christmas trees that were made of baby doll heads that were dismembered and weird.

Looking, but the whole in the shape of a Christmas tree.

A regular traditional Christmas tree with tinsel, but all of the ornaments.

Are dull ornaments.

Okay, yeah, some of them. They had elves that were being tortured in different ways on the walls, elves like elf on a shelf, okay, and but the elves were like like they were like chained and like being you know, dismembered and stuff.

They had also hear me out, Yeah, we really have not moved on at all.

Actually, I'm starting to recognize what is Yeah, Frosty the Snowman, but he's got giant things and blood and a huge dick and.

It's a carrot down there too. Didn't believe me when I told her there's a thing on Netflix movie called Hot Frosty.

Hot Frosty.

Yeah, he comes to life and he's just like like a babe.

Is it like a romantic comedy?

It's what's her name? From all the nineties movies?

Fetch Yeah, the girl who tries to not.

The nineties movies Gretchen from is it Gretchen.

Wieners, Gretchen Wieners from Being Girls? The girl tries to make Yeah, she's in it. And then so she puts her scarf on a snowman because he's got like a six pack, and she's like, wish you were real. And then he actually comes to life and bangs.

Are that's a whole movie. Yeah, wow, what did they learn or whatever?

Uh, you can bank snow and he turned into a he turned into a real guy.

Oh my god. Anytime Snowman come up, it reminds me of these two.

Hot Frosty would be a good.

Uh dude, right yeah, yeah, like snow form, Oh snow form dude. Okay, got it. My uh, these two idiots that used to live in my neighborhood in high school. They were They spent like two hours making a snowman in the middle of their street, and the plan was to film them just running into it over with their car, and they drove into it and it just stopped the car dead in its tracks and like the car wrapped

Jesus.

Those guys were me and my brother the Jackass era.

It was television where we were all like gramming our grocery carts into like bushes.

And Dan was running into trash cans and hoboken a couple of years ago. Yeah, it was no literally during Jackayes.

I absolutely I still have videos on my hard drive of like us getting in trash cans and rolling down hills we gotten shopping carts behind target and went way too past and hit the curves and flew out like we We did every.

Single thing on the show that they said don't try to do at home.

It was great.

It's a great time. Jackass was and it is fantastic. I love Jackass.

They knew what they were doing anyway. So this bar is filled with really dark, decrepit stuff. There were stockings on the ceiling and there's like dismembered hands in them.

Do you have to reachase? Are you encouraged to in the ceiling?

You can't get in there?

A skin stockings skin stockings, Yeah, stockings made out of skin.

They had lamps that had face skin like had eyeholes. Shade was a face, Yeah it is. It's a very Portland thing, honestly. And anyway, all the drinks were funky little concoctions where they were like this is Grinch juice and it's green and it obviously used dry eyes. So there was like smoke stuff capp you know. It was a a good theme experience where they put in a lot of energy to make this place look crazy. I don't think it would be for the fate of Heart

I've ever had what's the name of it?

I'm curious to.

Ravens bar Ven Raven Ravens manner, sorry, Raven's manner. They only do they only do this Christmas thing from December to January, like it's a December situation. But when they do, like the trees with fucked up stuff. Yeah, and they have crampis. He's like an animatronic guy and he's like, eat children.

What's great? Is it? Is it still like a what's the word I'm looking for? Is it still like similar morbid curiosity theme the rest of the year, just without Christmas?

Yes, okay, all year round weird shit and during Christmas they're like everything is Christmasy, but it's also still fucked up.

They burned pentagrams into the Hamburger buns.

Yes, Yeah, this place is cool.

I like this.

Your drinks can come with tarot cards or like they're served on a Ouiji board like.

Theyre looks like they live in Portland. Awesome. I just like, I've never seen more four more partland looking people in my life.

They really do have that vibe to them for sure.

Yeah, okay, they've got like nome to plumes here, Mum Mordred Elizabeth Raven, Lady Maryann Raven aka Lady Red. All right cool.

I was thoroughly impressed because usually when you do stuff like this like it feel it was a little hamstrung. These people are committed, a very committed space. It had, uh it even had like a casket and it had a sensor bar, so when you go past it, there's a knock from the inside, like somebody's in there. It's just cute, like they put a lot of energy into like making you a little scared, uh and stressed out, but also just enjoy the Christmas festivities.

I love to be stressed out at bars.

I yeah, it's during the holiday. There's a special time where you get to be scared. In Christmas.

I can stress the bars for like go to order drink and it just seems like it takes twenty minutes for the bartender to see you. So that would be my theme bar if I wanted to be stressed was just the bartender never looks at you.

Your horror bar is that they don't know that you're there.

Yeah, it's exactly. I'm holding it, and.

Then you look at your hand and look in the mirror and there's no there.

My back. I don't even know this. Either during college or immediately after. My friend and I were at a very crowded bar in New York actually, and he ended up we were basically waiting for the bartender for so long that he ended up kind of like waving to try to flag her down, and she did not appreciate that. She said, never wave at bartenders, so he took it

Yeah, that's actually a really great ending, because I would have thought that she was just been even more pissed to been a bad story.

Yeah, yeah, it worked out. That was the same bar. If I told you guys this story where this is like the middle of the day and we've popped in. My my friend at the time was doing like beer sales from breweries direct to different bars, and he had to like make rounds. So he's like, yeah, I want to come with me. So I went to get a burger at this one place on the south end of Medison Square Park that's no longer there. It used to

I've have I told you guys my stink bomb college thing that I used to do when bars were too busy.

You'd let off stink bombs and crowded bars.

So basically there's like there's this one bar in Lawrence called Brothers that my friends like to go to, and like it was good in that it was like dollar fifty you call it, so it's I can get a whiskey coke for dollar fifty on like a Friday night. But it was like a big kind of like Broie like bar with like a dance floor and stuff. And like I always hated that. I never wanted to, like hear popular music. I never wanted to dance or anything.

And I would if.

I was particularly salty that night or I couldn't get a drink, I would just crunch it under my foot and watch like mass amounts of people leave the bar just because like this smell is so fucking bad here, and now I get to get my.

Drinks and you were just enjoying your fart filled bar.

That is, I mean, that's better than not having a drink at a bar. I don't know, it's just the most I don't even I don't. I'm too tired to tell you how pissed off that makes me that he did that. I know it's proferit.

There were plenty just like, oh boy, I would have kicked my own ass time back there.

I don't have the energy to get to lay into you right now, I will say.

When I first moved to San Francisco, I lived on a busier street that was right outside of a club, and within my first two weeks of moving in the club would let out at two in the morning, and these people who are dancing in the club would put music on in their cars and dance in the street. And they did it every like weekend, you know, Friday and Saturday night that when I was there, Yeah, the one right off of Sutter and I I was so frustrated because they would party until four in the morning.

Was me.

Doing it such a baby about it. I like opened I turned off all the lights, I opened up my window, and I kind of like you know, tried to throw them as close as I could to the group, and then like hid and went back to bed. But they stopped doing it after a couple of weeks, and so I figured there was maybe it was working. But I also heard that someone ended up getting stabbed at that club, so oh, it could have been.

Drink.

He couldn't get a drink Wow, they still sell them. I was thinking like, oh, I wonder if they just don't sell those anymore. But they sell them on Amazon and they look exactly like cartoon guy stinky on the on the cover.

Yeahals, you have to break step.

Yeah yeah, wow, they still just do this, don't they. Wait, wet birds spray. Oh, I've never done firt spray, but yeah, these are vials. Probably the spray is not fun.

I should buy some of these vials.

They Oh god, I.

Mean, you don't know, sent them to your dad because it could have saved him from selling his fucking house if he just made it really stinky.

You working on that without the stink bomb.

The neighbors coming up to say hi, and he just immediately starts dropping him on the deck and stomping on them. Ye, come back.

What are dude bombs? It's from the dude wipes people. What toilet Oh, dude dude bombs, toilet stink eliminator.

What are dude wipes? Oh?

I guess I don't know dude wipes because they sponsored like a WrestleMania match.

I assume it's just like.

Like sanitary wipes or when you're shitting, but like marketing it's like the Doctor Pepper ten of wipes for your butt.

Okay, I don't know. I talk about you keep using ten is the one that keep for women? You keep comparing things to other things that I then have further questions about.

Doctor Pepper ten is the one with ten manly calories. It's not for women like those diet sodas. Yes, gotcha. It's a clever, clever marketing.

Wow, there's lots of different man.

The stink bomb industry is blown up since I last used one. They have Trump branded tink bombs.

You should invest in stink bombs.

Stink bomb stock is going high.

Yeah. T n K an actual stock probably, Oh.

My, oh god, it's stonks. That's what it is. Stonks.

Ticker is s t n K like a meme stock.

It sounds like it's probably some thing.

I think stinks is funnier stinks.

Yeah, Stink's a good word for what it is.

S t i n X stinks.

We can't have five? Can you on your ticker?

Well?

The hashtag is s right, do you know what I'm talking about?

No?

Like you use the money symbol.

Yeah, you do? Like dollar sign? Oh, you can use the dollar sign as the first dollar sign tank, So you're saying Tink would be the okay tanks with an X. But then when the dollar sign look like stinks okay Tinks stock? Can we just come up with a crazy Are we gonna be millionaires from the episode?

No, there's nothing has the Tinks sticker?

That's it. That's the ons good make that for stink bomb company. Why is kind of stock called Tinks on the stock trade?

Why are they trading stocks at all?

They're all in on the stink bomb market? All right? Listen up, everybody, can I is a fraud if I like encourage people to go buy a stock and probably let's amplify it.

If you pump and dump it.

Yeah, yeah, there's an pumping Wait, Tinks is at Tinks is a TikTok. This is an influencer. There's a woman named Tinks. Uh so we'd have to fight her for it. But I don't think she's on the stock exchange.

What does she do?

What's she influence?

She does the It's Me Tinks podcast on Stitcher radio. Tinker Bell pop culture and Relationships, Oh Okay. In April twenty twenty two, a series of controversial tweets posted by tinks resurface on a thread and the subredded R slash tinks dark.

What was controversial?

They were fat bo big, misogynistic, targeting stars such as Kim Kardashian. Okay, come did collaborate with Tabasco Sauce in twenty twenty three, though, so she came back, Oh ship Yeah yeah, Tinks Bowl in collaboration was Chipotle nice wow resurging Yeah, though, No.

You're going straight to dumping. You're not pumping.

I'm prem prety all dump no pump anticipatory dump.

Yeah, I don't know that means it's fun to say all all dump no pump, Yeah, all dump.

I sent dan a uh. Instagram is really honed in on my tastes. It's served me ads for these like T shirts that it's like old school Japanese wood cut styles, but it's a black cat sitting like a human on a toilet smoking a cigarette, and that it says born to ship, forced to wipe.

The baize.

Instagram DM history is weird. It's a lot of office wine memes and like he's sending him Mad Tower in Paris, clear mercy love. It from one masterpiece to Stephanie here another masterpiece. We're here, go to We're gonna bring the Eiffel Tower town. I gotta work on my macho man nightmare anymore. I gotta any more coke, give the drugs. Wait, let's give it a few more seconds, because I don't want that to be the last thing we said right before, and we might have an ad goes up.

No, I think it should just killing. Do you guys want to talk about video games?

Yeah, let's do it all right now that we've all got a jpeg of and on the top in our discord, just staring at us. Uh, what what's going on with an Ena Jones? This game sounds good? Yeah, it's it's good. I kind of went in with no expectations of this one. I mean, you know, it was machine games, which I really like those Wolfings Sign games a lot, but obviously like an indie game is going to feel different than that.

You're not just like you're barely using guns in this game.

It's a lot of like grabbing weird stuff like frying pans and then like sneaking up sneaking out up on Nazis and knocking them out, pushing them off cliffs, things like that. But you're also just going through catacombs and underneath churches and things like that with like a torch and waving away scorpions and putting amulets and things and slight like it's it is a lot more dishonored than

I uh, that's the most I've been interested in it so far.

Yeah, it's I do feel like there are some pacing issues in that, Like these areas are really big and they're extremely detailed, Like you know, if you played the Wolf and Sign games the machine games did, like there's so much detail in the levels, so I think they I was talking to Grub about this, and I know he felt similar where it's like it feels like it felt like they want to get their money's or time however you wone put it worth out of these huge areas.

So you go. So you start in the Vatican. You're also in Cairo or at Giza, Viza. Where else do you go?

I am just leaving Giza now where I'm at that's the second one. Yeah, there's like some stuff in between, like you're on a blimp for a.

Little bit as you're going down to Giza.

And the opening is kind of like a Raiders of the Last arc callback like the you know the idol and the stone and everything. But I mean, Troy Baker kills it as Indiana Jones here. It's crazy because like Harrison Port is a pretty distinctive voice, and he he's just nailed it. It's it didn't even occur to me that someone else would have to play it. Yeah, yeah, I mean even Harrison Ford's a live he's just like, I don't know, you hear the recent Conan podcast, He's like,

So it didn't occur to me until you said this. Now that Machine Games went from one franchise where you're killing Nazis to Indiana Jones where you're killing or i mean beating Nazis.

Up.

No, you can killed him two. You can definitely kill him.

But yeah, I mean that's part of why I think this was such an interesting choice of developer for this, and I think it was a home run. And it's like, well, okay, you've worked in this era before. I think the bigger risk is, like, oh, making Indiana Jones a first person game is probably something that not a lot of people

Not to that Soul sounds way more interesting than I. Yeah, I was thinking it would be. I don't even know what I thought it would be. I knew they were gonna kind of go for like more puzzle solving. I guess Uncharted. It's the obvious comparison, but yeah, the immersive sim aspect and like big sandboxy not that I not that I inherently like sandbox kind of mission structure, but there's something about you know, like hit Man, Dishonored, I love where you can kind of explore something actually like

Well, And like the puzzles and the action and the stealth, like all these aspects are not particularly I don't mean this sound like an instul but they're not particularly deep in the same way that like the Indie movies are not like a hard challenging watch.

You know. They's just fun.

It's just a fun time with the movies, you know, and this is just a fun video game. It's not like these puzzles are not like I'm not breaking out the notepad and drawing symbols and things like that.

It's pretty breezy overall.

What's the story, Like, Basically, there's.

A mcguffin where it's like, oh, the Great Circle is this thing. It's this artifact where there's several different parts of it and it, you know, they think that you can get great power if you get all these pieces of the circle together. So the Nazis are trying to get it for their nefarious Nazi purposes, and Indie is trying to you know, beat them to it basically, So.

Indy versus Nazis totally yeah, easy, yeah, and easy.

It's the two best movies all over again. Yeah, yeah, it's uh, there's no Nazis in Templa Doom if I don't really One and three definitely did. But yeah, yeah, she had a lot of them.

Yeah, three, I loved three because like, three was the one that I was old enough to see in the theaters when it came out. I just saw the first couple on BHS and uh, yeah, I love three.

Is that the one with the baby indie kid Indy?

Three has River Phoenix at the beginning.

Yeah, it shows why he's afraid of snakes and stuff like that and how he got his whip. It's like one of the first like times I remember being like, Okay, we didn't really need to explain why this character, you know, was afraid of snakes or likes whips. Yeah, every care your trade has explained in like a five minute scene. It's like, Okay, we didn't need that, but.

Sure, Yeah, I'm excited to play that.

Yeah, and I'm not like an obsessive indie fan or anything like I said, I'd even see the last one. I like Indiana Jones. I like them a lot growing up in the first trilogy. But yeah, so I went in not particularly like excited or pessimistic about it. I was like, aeah, let's see how this is. And I've been very positive on it since playing it. I'm like twelve hours.

Then.

I would say some people are like already calling this their personal goady, which I think is very I mean, it's a huge deal to like have its skyrocket to your list that quickly. Do you think it's at that level or do you think it's also like end of the year madness where it's like, hey, this is the game that was good that I played this close to Gody, so it's top of mind recentcy guy.

I think it'll probably be like in the lower half of my top ten.

I think by the time of the year's done.

But I guess we're gonna have to wait and see you when fire Escape does its Game of the Year for twenty What are we doing.

That twenty twenty five?

Oh oh right, okay, well we'll find out next October or something that.

Would you have crammed it into, hargdie.

I don't think, Well, what was our final top ten? I know that's an interesting question. I forget to pull that up real quick. I don't remember what our top ten was. It would not I would not have tried to make it. Let's hell divers, asked your robot. Those all would stay. I think I wouldn't put any above any of those. I don't think, uh yeah, okay, I'm looking at our top ten here hell divers after about Prince of Persia, wild bastards like a dragon, lowerly crow country,

Oh yeah, and I like you significant it's it's eligible for next year's Game of the Year by our.

By our definition.

Yeah, and Valguard, which I gotta play.

I'm not gonna play that.

I didn't say I can't make me not going to Okay, but I got bigger fish to fry. That looks like a nerve game. Sick. Yeah, it is. It's probably very It's definitely very nerdy. Mary. What have you been playing.

I've been playing, uh, this new indie game called O.

You been playing Andy two? You are so silly.

You remember when you said you were you're an advocate for indies earlier this year number one advocate for Indy's.

Supposed by number one. Moltro was my number one, or no it wasn't. It's number two. So I guess I think I like INDI's more than Dan. Dan's always just shilling for the Triple a game.

I'm looking at my top ten of the year and they're mostly indies.

I don't know.

Read it off Balatro, Mini shoot Adventures, Thank Goodness you're here. You a boat, Biffy Wild Bastards are those indy games.

No, no call of Duty.

So Naiad is a one person team made by one person, and it is a very calming, zen like experience where you are playing I want to say a water nymph or a girl that is only underwater. Essentially, your face can come up every once in a while, but it doesn't seem like, Yeah, the graphics are are simple, but

Yeah, you find me.

Okay, it's that I will find You will find things, and you will say, oh, I think something's a little off, and you'll fix it and then you will get rewarded.

Is it so?

Is it just general exploratory or is there like a critical path, like are there fights or anything or like that.

Yeah, it's a good question. There's no boss battles. This is a very relaxing game. I keep saying that, but I mean I couldn't express that more. There's even you can go down the waterfall path, like you can keep going and not solve these things, which is very interesting to me. And I think if you just literally go down all the waterfalls and don't do any of these puzzles, you probably burn through this game in like forty minutes.

Yeah, it looks like a lazy river, which I'm a big lazy river guy.

It is, it's very lazy river. I think it is meant for you to just it is just meant for you to relax and enjoy it. It's audibly like, it's very comforting and calming. Your sounds are very light and easy. All the sounds of the environment are nice. You'll hear the frogs and the ducks and the environment. There's like bees buzzing, and you interact with some animals as well. There's oh it's neat. In the menu, it'll show you

It's a good looking game.

It makes me think of a Does it play like Tubin for the Nes? Look at the discord this box art of Tubin?

Oh hell yeah, yeah that is box.

Art right there.

Everyone look up Tubin for the Nes by tingin. Uh that's a fun game around a tube.

Yeah, got some Tubin motivations to you.

Tub Like.

I think it's tubin like. I think it has some aspects of tubin.

That's a really funny genre. N we gotta get tuban like over.

I think it is like meant to just relax, go down the river, don't worry about your life. But I will also just say like I was relaxed when I played this. I played this casually on my couch on my Steam deck, which is like one of my favorite ways to play games. I felt very relaxed throughout the experience. I wish that the puzzles were a bit more intuitive. I could see that they weren't literally trying to tell me what to do, but there were a couple of times where I was like, I don't I don't fully

On your PC or on my steam deck.

I played it on my steam Deck, and I think it lends itself to a steam deck, like it is a It is a steam deck style game in my opinion. You can sit on a couch and play this.

And I love steam Deck. I think all the time that how much i've steam Deck.

And I had a moment the other night where it's like, Okaykayle's gonna stream, so I want to put her up on the TV. And then but I really want to play Indie. I wonder if that can run on my steam Deck, and I'm looking up stuff about like how

This is The future is here. Yeah, good, it's really it's really nice to experience it like that, and so I I enjoyed this, but I also think it's probably not for everyone. It's definitely for people who are looking for this type of experience. I would sell it to someone who's like, hey, I get really stressed out at my job and I like to play a game that doesn't require my whole brain half a brain. Sometimes I'd be playing, sometimes I'd be watching something on Netflix, or

Is that it?

And then I just left like that was it. I was like, you got you know, the wind breathe softly, all right, get the fuck out, and that was it. You know, they this is not meant to uh be more intense than you think it is, it's a very simple concept.

Nice it's being a steam deck. Dan, I heard, I saw you're back into Vampire Survivors.

Yeah, what Mary just posted? Jake's gonna be so confused. This is in the share of Discord. It's two pictures of bombays and the box are for tubing for the nes and then Mary, what the puck was your prompt for?

This is a hot cheese girl?

I did you hear me out? So I google uh ai, A mid searched a woman made of nacho cheese and I it's just the discord like a woman, she's pretty hot and human looking, but she is made of nacho cheese.

I mean it looks like I would just be worried she'd be getting some like third degree burns with the Okay, now there's oh, folks, this is bad stuff happening in her discord right now.

I don't like it. No, I'm not horny about this.

Well, but between Mike repeatedly spamming Gazina on a top photos, you are supposed.

To be confused.

You're not supposed to It's one hundred percent confused, zero percent horny.

No, No, this is fucked up. I hate this. This is really a funny photo. Mary just keeps posting AI tortilla ladies. I hate it.

They're cheese women. I'm just trying.

I don't want cheese.

I'm just trying to find your level. Here's the thing. I bet if there's like beautiful women, hot women stuff, you're probably still turned on. And so my question is, at what level of cheese are you?

Like?

That's too much cheese?

Okay, radio, Okay, listen, Okay, let's go back to the Monica Balucci thing. If you dribbled some nacho cheese and Monica Valucci, she would still be very hot. I think it would have to be like you dump, like you know, pizza the hut from space Balls. I think it's actually that much cheese for Monica Balucci to.

Not be od.

This is really fun for me. This is a weird discord.

This discord better not be ever be searched by the FBI.

Because okay, this is this is my last one hold on.

To construct.

Oh actually okay, yeah, hear me out. When fam KYSA is like AK forty seven the vents.

Oh she has the orgasm while she's shooting the gun. Yeah, I think that was the first time I ever saw in an orgasm happening. I don't think it was like a shooting.

Orgasm, but yeah, yeah, I saw that orgasm that oh many times I was like, what's happening here? Uh? Dan? So you've been playing uh for Vampire Survivors. Just it's my favorite gift of all time. This is great radio. I'm just posting camps and describing vampires radio school. What did you get back into Vampire Svipers? Was it for the Castlevania with.

DLC, which is just the motion socker shit. I've played forty seven hours of this fucking game in the last two weeks. Yeah, it is just unreal. Like I have loved this game.

I'm all my playing on my flights, not to Castmania. I'm still getting through the Japanese stuff and the Contra and among Us and all that. Yeah, not among Us yet. I didn't get the among Us one.

I restarted again because I did it on one Steam account, then I did it on Xbox, I've done it on Switch and now I'm playing it all again to with the Castlevania stuff, and it's like, this is one of my favorite games of all time, and this Castle Anything is.

Like bigger than the original release.

And I thought, I don't want to spoil certain things, but like every time I thought, I'm like, okay, I'm probably probably done with this. I unlocked the last thing, or I got to this part on the map or whatever. There are moments where it's like, are you fucking kidding me?

Tell like a contract that makes sense as well.

The level of love for Castlevania is so apparent here because it is like obscure characters and enemies and stuff like that, and it's like just the love of Castlevania is all over this and it's just got me thinking about the series a ton again. Like I talked Kayla into playing a Simpthing to the Night. She's never played a Caslvania before, so she started streaming that. I'm watching her play Something to Night, and I'm like, God, damn it,

Kick right now. I have so much appreciation for that series.

It makes me want to play the DS ones again on that new thing they put out, the Dominants Collection, and yeah, if you have not played Vampire Survivors yet, right now is such an easy like I don't know if there's a bundle deal on Steam or something, but like the base game and all of the DLC are all like a few bucks each.

Just get this game. It is so fantastic.

N this point is so reasonable for the amount of gameplay that you can.

Have and a oh yeah, I've gotten so much more joy out of this like three dollars game than I've gotten out of many seventy dollars games. It's just it really is one of my favorites of all time.

Now I've been jumping around the DLC so much I still haven't even completed the one point zero collection. Oh, like from the base because I have a bunch of the characters and weapons unlocked from the Japanese from the Moon's Forests. Yeah, that's not my favorite, but it was still like they've got some really useful weapons.

To have unlock all those, Yeah, and then you can bring those into the Castlevania map.

Japan One can get tough if you're not building the character right. But I've done the contras stuff more now, not the among Us, but Caslvania I still haven't started. I'm trying to build out the actual original collection. There's still a few I'm missing. Yeah, but yeah, that game is still my favorite playing game. I've been playing it a lot.

On I probably play it on the flight that I have like coming up. I think these are like it's just such a good flight game, and I think it just continues to be one for the books in terms of like easy play. You can pick it up. You can finish a game in like forty minutes if you're doing well. If you do lose or like let's say you like ran out of power, you wouldn't be like no, like you'll be fine, Like you'll survive Vampire well.

And it's just it is so cool for such simple concept of just you're moving the stick around and you're picking up grades.

There is a level of depth to it and humor and secrets.

And like, there's way more going on to this game that you might think if you just played a handful of just like running around trying to survive at thirty minutes, it's like, no, there's a lot to think about as far as evolutions and strategies and unlocks and things.

It's really something special.

Mm yeah, I love it. I'm what was the I love the stuff where you have to like combine four items to get an upgrade to evolution, like the Divine Path or whatever it's called.

The Uh, well, there's the ones with the arrows and you know the the lancets and yeah.

Those are always a blast. Yeah. I love the weapon. I think it's from the moonspell. It's just a cat. Cats come flying off from off screen and eat.

People's that's in the base game. Yeah, one of the characters could do that.

No really, yeah, but yeah that game is read. That's basically all I've been playing outside of work stuff lately, which has been it's a nice way to turn off. Oh yeah, what what else have you been playing? Dan?

Call of duty still playing multiplayer. It's awesome.

It's just like it's been introducing turned Nuketown into holiday you know version for December, and.

It's like Christmas theme.

Yeah, and it's not just like, oh they made it snowy. It's like there there's a lot of care and like all the houses are decorated with like Christmas stuff and there's like Christmas there's this Christmas event to unlock for like the next twelve days or whatever. So and now Bonx in now too, so Boks Like normally, you know, Bonk and I generally gravitate towards different genres of games and everything. And you know, I've been loving this so much and talking to her about it a lot, and

You know. Do you think you like two teen reboot multiplayer better or this?

I think I like this more. I think this is like, this might be my favorite Call of Duty. It's like this and four basically like the first modern warfare, Like this is the first time I prestiged since Call of Duty four. Yeah, and it's a smart stef too, where you can like set you know, permanent unlocks when you proceige. They've probably done that before, but I never prestige in previous ones lately.

So yeah, for season the past few past two at least has been season based. Oh interesting, you couldn't just do it. They brought it back where you could just proceige prestige at your own pace in this one, which was a very nice comeback for sure.

Oh nice, nice, Yeah, just smart decisions all over the place. Of this game, and like, yeah, we'll probably end the podcast tonight and I'm either gonna play Call of Duty or Vampire Survivors.

Why are you playing Command of Conqueror Generals. I mean, I liked, I like that game to some extent, but I see that's on the list.

Well, because like in the last because I want to ask you about this, Mike, because like in the last year or so might have been more. They added all of the Command of Conquer games to uh Steam, which you used to have to like it's the only thing I used Origin for before. Is like I bought the Ultimate collection all these Command of concer games around there, like no, they're all on Steam now, and I realized, like Reddler two as well, Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're all there. Yeah,

So I really got hosed on that one.

So yeah, So for like twenty five years or so, I've been like, fuck, this is the game that like I had to stop playing Command of Conquer because my.

Computer just couldn't run it, and say, let's go back, let's see how it is.

And so I've done a couple of campaign levels the Strand Room the other night, and I think I'm gonna go forward. It's uh, I'm curious what the general vibe is on Generals among Commanded Conquer fans, because I am enjoying it quite a bit. And Mike, I don't know if you spend much time with that. You were a big red Aler guy. Oh, I played a lot of Generals. Uh have you played zero are yet?

I was going to do that if I finished the campaign of this.

Okay, so I could be talking my ass, but my take on Generals when it first came out, was this is a bit too realistic, Like it's China, the PLO, I forget what they're calling this and America. So they lost a lot of the like zaniness of the like faux Cold war, nuke towing, oils and just weird einst traveling and all that you can get through most missions and like skirmishes just by upgrading the hum beats all

Okay, that's good to know because that is something I've noticed is that like, I'm really enjoying the gameplay from what I've seen, but like I was like starting campaign missions to me like okay, what am I going to see James Earl Jones yelling at me for something or like some Xenia on a top looking lady sent it me, Yeah, nuke something.

I remember the campaign to be specific, I play the skirmishes, but again, yeah, like Zero Hour, I almost had a I always have a blast with yeah, cause it's like engaged opposing forces at hotspots around the globe as you match strategies and arsenals against the new masterminds of modern war. So it's this like rogues gallery of people who are into one thing or another, like let me jan don't remind myself. I wonder if I should just give to that then, or if I mean the don't really learned

I don't even necessarily remember doing the campaigns for like Red Alert or the old like Tiberian Sun ones.

But big skirmish guy, Yeah, it's g la is what they're called plo is the real is a real thing. General's Challenge Oh, okay, here we go. General's Challenge was the mode I loved. It was. In this mode, the player takes on the identity of one of the nine generals and battles other generals one by one, ultimately confronting a powerful boss general who it's like a tournament, it's a it's a blast. And then you. They each each of them have like different obsessions that leads them to

I remember Red Alert three they had Rick Flair play one of the generals. I think it was in like a DLC or something. And whenever I would meet wrestlers, typically I would like to like, you know, I never want to be the guy that just asked the question that everyone's asked a million times, like what do you think about it?

So the first time I met Rick Flair was the JW.

Marriott Bar in probably like twenty eleven, and I sat down next to him, had a drink, and I started talking to him and I'm like, hey, I love Command and Conquer. I thought it was weird and cool when you were in a Red Alert three as one of the generals. He's like, what it's like the video game that you remember? You did all the commercials where his Flair versus Bear and you were fighting a guy in a barasuit and you were in the game yelling at the player.

He's like, what are you talking about?

You were in a video game, Rick Flair, and he's like, I don't know what you're talking about.

That's just so awkward, and you just left.

No there for a while.

I took a picture of him. He had three Gen and Tonics in front of him. He had the largest show in the game. I might have pulled it up, but then he just started talking about like his wrestling career from the eighties, and like, oh man, in the eighties, we really we were really rocking and rolling in the eighties, Like, yes, I know that, but can we talk about Commanding Conker?

Did he just forget? I was trying to deny it. I think he forgot.

And then I was pissed off because we did a podcast episode with John Cena, and I would help our hosts come up with like questions for him and stuff like that, and I was like, Okay, you got to ask Sena about Command and Conquer because somebody asked him about it once on a red carpet and he wouldn't stop talking about like his cure of strategy and Red Alert too, like Sena is like into Red Alert. And

Conquer his strats? Yeah, what's what was? What was the metal like? Back when he was playing?

I just built a ton of Cure ofs.

Yeah, remember when we did that the live stream series where yes, I had how did it? What happen? We basically were like destroying each other's bases like ships in the night. And I had a kure of left and you had a tank which could not attack the cure of right. Oh my god, I've won. I just need to go kill him. But of course you the Kreof's not fast enough to catch the tank, so you just ran all over the map until I was forced to surrender because you were more stubborn than I was. I

I'm like that too in in board games. If if I'm going to lose, I'm just gonna draw it out until everyone's miserable. Rica totally Yeah, I will not go quietly into that dark night.

Have you been playing anything else besides Naiad?

I played a little bit more silent.

Hell.

I am trying to get through it.

Uh.

It is so scary. I am getting to the point where that game gets progressively scarier and it has really forced me to do additional combat. There is a section where I've met it's my wife's dupe, uh, Mary's look alike her friend or whatever, and she's kind of like weirdly, I don't know, she's like kind of sexy, and she's like kind of hitting on me. She like touch me, and I'll be like, whoa, I'm looking for my dead wife,

Is that? Why? Is that how video games work? In your head? Like, because you're not playing it, she just stays asleep until you play it again.

Still there, as far as I know, she's still there, stick napping away. And I'm just blown away that they originally that they design this character, and I think this is probably more of a game design decision where they were like, we don't want you to have a NPC that's following me around in these sections. It'd be really irritating, and we don't want to make more dialogue for her,

I like the resident evil horror style with Ashley where it's.

Like, Okay, I don't want to deal with you during this combat scenario, so it's getting a dumpster.

Yeah, alright, there's a story.

I'm putting you in a locker until I'm done killing everyone.

Yes, I agree, I think that. And there's also something about Silent Hill that is more serious than Resident Evil. Resident Evil joked a lot, and it let you make fun of it sometimes because it was just like, yes, this is fantasy and strange, so laugh at these silly characters. Silent Hill takes itself very seriously, and I just don't think you're supposed to laugh. There's another character I forget his name, everyone's who Yeah, the cheeddy guy. Yeah, okay,

Hear me out. We found it finally, Eddie ice cream off his fingers. Dan we got you, actually, horny, I was hid bon Dan.

It's okay, great that you found something that gets your rocks off.

I'm boner free. Someone twenty four seven.

Noted strawberry ice cream off of their fingers is exactly what Dan likes.

That's my thing. Let's get let's get fire Escape cast shirts that just say boner free twenty four with no logo anywhere on it. No, it's not all pumping.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Mary. I watched because I never really loved the gameplay of Silent Hill. I appreciated the like psychological take on horror, you know, it made it different than Resident Evil, but so I never really knew what the was going on that game. I watched Kayla. I joined her when I was in town for like the last four hours of that game. She streamed it and

I'm just a guy with a gun. I'm a dude who jumps on turtles.

I just like I'm not used to the idea of like the protagonists being like, oh no, I don't like this person I'm controlling and especially you know, I'm not gonna spoil anything story wise, but by the end it's just like, oh, okay, realize and everything that happened.

It's like, oh, yeah, this guy sucks, so not.

A great dude. Yeah, I agree. I think this does kind of remind me like Resident Evil is more my jam me too. Playing someone like Chris Redfield is like, you can I can get behind someone like that, you know, like you can definitely see yourself as these like protagonists that can be flawed and even problematic or scared little little babies, but they are doing the best they can in a crazy situation. This person is an anti hero

Like the.

Entire plot of this game is that you're going to this town to find your dead wife because you know, presumably you love her. Or whatever. You're just making fun of her.

You suckie.

It's not even like his fucking like weapon skills or anything, like he sucks at everything in that game like I'm used to, like you know, Dante, It's like, Oh, I'm just fucking slicing someone up with a sword and shooting with like a million guns and doing stylish shit like this guy is just doping around Spooky Town a jacket, just being an asshole.

Like I don't like this guy.

Suck in medicine bottles and pumping them up full of meds he ain't punch, and no boulders.

This guy's a bitch yep yeah, yep.

Anyway, I'm probably gonna finish it. Yes, I need to.

It is.

It is a rite of passage for me to finish this game. I also think, for the record, i'm critiquing like the original concept, story and characters, which I think are a little muddier and I prefer the Resident Evil universe. This is still an extraordinarily quality remake and game that I'm very excited about. So yes, I'm w one hundred percent finish this game. But I yeah, I struggle with the same things I struggled with with the original, which

Sounds I I I do want to finish it as well. I like that I played.

But Mary, I think we have very similar opinions in Silent Hill, like respect it. No, it's a good series, but not necessarily for us.

It's just not something I'm like looking forward to dealing with. When I see a character and I'm like, this bitch is gonna piss me off? Yeah, and she does every time. The girl that I these cut scenes, the napping girl, I should know her name, but I forget. It's not Mary, it's not my wife.

It's a different name.

So, Yes, it's very similar. Yes, it's Maria and every one of her uh lines, it's delivered like this, don't you know?

Talk hear me out?

Hey this?

God, have you ever met a woman? Name a woman?

I just feel that this game could be funner.

You do that very well.

I hate her?

You do it? Really? Yeah? You for hating her. You nailed it.

I'm just joking with you. God, I don't like it. I don't like being this person.

Okay, do you want to do emails? Sure? Okay. As usual, you can write into fire Escape cast at gmail dot com for questions, comments, photos of on the top. Any of this stuff is fair game. All the stars are here, all the stars.

Uh.

We have a couple of questions tonight, and the first one is from a frequent emailer, Wes. It's a short one, but it's a it's a sweet one. Literally.

We need we need more emails as well, so send in more emails.

We got the week where Mike was gone and I scrambled and put together emails for the last second.

I grabbed like eight emails. Yep. I don't know what full episode yet, so or any of it.

Yeah, send more emails.

Uh, And then uh, okay, never mind, okay, making sure I wasn't duplicating one. Yeah, this's Mary. I want to read this first quick one from Wes from Baltimore. Yes, do you have the knock up? I just saw the logo come pop back up.

Hello, kit cats are significantly better frozen. Do you prefer any candy frozen? Thanks Wes from Baltimore.

Peeps nerves are way better for nerds. Yeah, they're already rock hard.

They had to take about of blizzards because they just took am out of blizzards because they would just break kids.

It doesn't make any really. Yeah, yeah, I was like bad. I mean it tasted good. I've had them, but like that's sick. Peeps are awesome for Oh yeah, they get like way chewier you know what you think? Peeps made me think of marshmallows and Mary Baka.

I we were decorating the Christmas tree and stuff recently, and you brought us that nice hot chocolate from Portland and we put the big ass marshmallows in there and whipped cream on top. And oh, I don't think I realized how much of a fan of like marshmallows and hon chocolate I could be. I've never I barely had hot chocolate my wife, and that was fantastic, especially like cold Minnesota winter like hot chocolate and marshmallows like that as good as hell.

Thank you.

I appreciate that. Note that's it should be Moonstruck. So anyone who's looking for the brand Moonstruck, we.

Watched that movie over Thanksgiving break at my parents.

No, it's not based on the movie.

No, I know this is funny. I forgot to mention that because I haven't seen you guys giving. Yeah with shared Nicholas Cage, what do you mean but share? What other Moonstruck is there? Yeah? The third best movie made ever, ever made ever. If you can't tell, I'm still jet lagged anyway.

Yeah, it's a very good brand of hot chocolate. And my I always say this every time someone's like, I love the hot chocolate, which people usually do when I give it to them as a gift, and I always say it's the it's the gift that Obama usually gives people when he gives them chocolate. He gives the Moonstruck chocolate. So it's good chocolate.

Yeah, one hand makes it. Really, it's some moon Struck yo oh oh big guy judging me about movies I watch. But I'm talking about I don't know. Have you seen Moonstruck? Are you wondering to you? Have you seen Moonstruck?

No, nobody's seen it but you.

And it's just so much true. Did she really? Yeah? I think she wanted to for that phenomenal It's just so funny, like has a wooden hand in it.

If you haven't seen that movie, that's a really funny thing to say about the chalk.

No, it's not. It's not a wooden hand. It's like a gloved thing. He stirs it with his wooden hand. He yeah, spoon, is that gross?

It's not my skin, This is my wooden hand. Spoon.

Reese is not rageous. Is much better. Frozen cups in general.

Cups and anything is usually especially I.

Like chewy chocolate chip cookies in the fridge after well, I mean, I don't eat them in the fridge. But guys, I've generately had zero drops of alcohol today. I am just like still on French time.

In the middle of the night, I got up and shot an elephant in my pajamas. How the elephant got in my pajamas? I have no idea.

Oh, shit. I forgot to tell you, guys, we have to we have a visit with a cat doctor tomorrow. How that cat became a doctor as anybody's guys. Uh you guys.

He heard the Norm thing when he was on coding and he was like, yeah, I what the doctor and my cat was sick and uhyah. Turned out I had like some tumor. It was cancerous. And the doctor says, I got bad news and good news. The bad news is based I want to see from this tumor. It's only got three months to live. The good news is it's just a cat.

That's fucked. I don't like it. I'm not Oh, Norm said something you don't likes, never saying thing well wow, some more defended people have said things I don't like.

You have to be able to laugh at the darkest things among us. I was also just gonna say, girl, Scout, thin mint's are so good in the freezer. This is common knowledge. I am not educating anyone on thin mints in the freezer, but I mean, I actually don't think I could have them. I really That's the first thing I do when I buy them, I say thank you very much. I give them the money they give me the cookies. They go right in the freezer. I don't do not exist on the counter in the freezer.

Feer Mint in general, I think tastes better when it's cooler in most forms.

Patty's freezer, Like, if it's mint in chocolate, it goes in the freezer.

Mint ice cream is better cold.

Strawberry ice cream best melted.

Yeah, I like to scoop it.

It's my fingers in a movie theater.

Oh her wooden hands sucking strawberry ice cream popper or cedar fingers. Oh my goodness, that's my things. A US.

Snickers ice cream bars or Snickers Normal better ice cream bars?

I think I do too.

I mean Snickers Normal is like the purple candy bar. But I think Snickers ice cream is like, Wow, you made this better with ice cream.

It depends on the environment. I would say on a warm day, of course it would be ice cream. But if it's like the middle of winter, I would choose a regular Snickers. It's weather dependent.

Well, I think ice cream bar I had was there was like one hundred degrees in Oklahoma heading to my sister's wedding this summer, and it's like looking at stuff to get in the gas stations, like, oh man, a Snicker's ice cream bar one hundred degrees in the middle of nowhere, like that is the perfect snack right there. But you're right, if it's like dead of winter, maybe standard.

I think we probably talked about this on the The Bonus video where we ranked or tear listed candy. But I think I agree with you. The Snickers is the ideal candy bar because I love fast breaks. What's the five five? I love both of those, but I feel like there's diminishing returns when you just start stacking it and it removes from the like purity of the Snickers when there's too much going on.

It's just the ratio of everything with the Snickers is so perfect. It's I would not change this single.

I'm the Milky Way girl. I just I just don't always want peanuts that just.

New getting caramel three Musketeers. People like those are psychos.

Yeah, I like Milky Way three much clear the same thing.

Oh like my go to that was where I went. I don't think. I don't think I've ever bought a Snickers in a drug store or anything like. I don't think i've ever been I've never been in a Kroger checking out and been like, I gotta get a Snickers. No, of course I've had a Snickers. Oh I eat them in like Halloween candy bags, right like I would get the mini Snickers and eat the minis and stuff like that.

It was always like, sucked down a king size?

You have a suck down a king size? You sound like a fucking troll under a bridge talking to me like that.

Let's let's go to the bote guy. I'll get.

You have sucked on us knickers on a tube.

I'll let you through the tunnel if you suck down that Snickers you got like this character. Have you guys had the Emperor sized stickers in? What? What country do they sell it in? Do they have emperors anymore anywhere? Uh? Just as people. I don't think they go by that.

Okay, he changed, they changed the name, but the players are the same.

Is like in line at a drug store or grocery store. That's probably my number three. I probably a bought the most Starburst and then Skittles and then snickers.

I think, are you twiddlers? Are you like your body show? Have you adjusted to the your new diet without the Halloween candy? Did you just did you confirm that's what the problem was? Oh? Yeah, what was the problem that was happening? There was something that was like you were like having sugar with your awls after Halloween season.

Oh, it was the weird headaches when I moved my head. Yeah, that's not happening anymore.

Weird headache.

Yeah, but you were in any direction it was like out. Yeah, I guess that stopped happening. I haven't thought of that in a while. Yeah. Good, didn't seem healthy. I'm just waiting.

I need time to move forward so I can get on marathon training that which starts in May, because I feel like I'm in a dead zone between here and May.

We're like, all right, and I'm gonna be unhealthy.

Probably have you not? I thought you started marathon training.

No, that starts in May. Marathons in October.

Oh, you finished the half marathon a couple of two halfs this year, and now it's like that doesn't make one. Now I'm kind of waiting.

Yeah, now, I'm just kind of waiting for Janny word, like all right, I'll get onto like a daily you know, the cardio thing, just so I'm ready for training in May. But right now I'm in that weird holiday dead zone.

You're allowed to have a holiday dead zone. And I encourage everybody who has like been like, hey, I should probably get on that diet or like be on that heavy exercise regimen. That's what January is for give yourself a frickin' break and enjoy the holiday season. I also struggle with this personally, and this is when I went to the Ravens Manor one of their number one drinks is essentially eggnog, and I was like, I just want to try it. I let things go in December, live your life.

It is striking, though I don't know if this is just a getting older thing, but like the speed in which you can go from like like like something like cardio help and stuff like I think that stays that lasts a little longer, but like the speed in which you can like put on weight, Like you know, I went from like the lowest weight I've been in like over ten years when I was like finishing up the marathon training to like it's not crazy, but you know,

And this only gets worse every year. It does not get better. It will just get worse. Yeah, it will get harder. You will just more easily put on weight from now until the end of time, unfortunately, but it's more motivation for you to stay on the uh treadmill or whatever it is that fuels you. But I do encourage people to give themselves a freaking break in December, right, like have yeah, have the eggnog, have the have the extra helping of mashed potato.

You know, enjoy yourself well and with what we do, and like, you know, we all live I mean, Mike, you're closer, but like you know, we live away from our parents. So it's like typically we have a trip home for Thanksgiving and then it's like, Okay, there's a lot of eating like shit there and then frequently we're going to the Game Awards and doing stuff like that. In early December and then you get back, you have maybe a week and then you go back for Christmas

Like I'm just giving myself excuses.

So yeah, I appreciate the dedication. Just don't forget to enjoy your Christmas.

Yes, yes, uh, thank you, wes Dan. You want to read this one from Morgan? Yes, high Fire or skip cast.

Do you guys have any blanket statements something that you think is true across the board with no exceptions. Some example of some examples of mine. If there is a dog or a cat and a game that is not an enemy and you can't interact or pet it, that game is trash or not chose without cheese?

Is it not chose?

I do agree with that.

My husband would say any movie for an hour and a half is too long. These can be about any topic. Thoughts a long time listening to the cast near other content platforms. Morgan, Thank you, Morgan. Blanket stavements with no exceptions. They specifically said there.

I had one before I had to kind of make an exception to my If a game, for instance, takes three hours to get good, yep, then it's not a good game. Metaphor kind of metaphor is different because it was still decent in the first two hours. But like I still believe, like if a game takes let's say three hours to get good, I don't care how long it is, it might not be a good game.

Anytime people say like, oh, yeah, give it like five hours, and it's like yeah, I normally would say that as a blanket statement, but like this year infinite wealth, like that takes a while to get moving and then it gets really good, and so I think there are exceptions for that one.

Yeah, there are slow burns, and I can I'm all for that, but it's like when something is actively pushing back against my enjoyment for five hours. Sure, Infinite Wealth was bearable for a bit.

Yeah, it was so funny and interesting and everything, but like it doesn't open up for a while.

Yeah, what other blankets stay? I definitely have a bunch. I'm sure that.

One that's similar to the uh, the writer's husband. My blanket for movies is a bit more lenient than that, but it is No movie needs to be three hours. Period. If it's three hours, it could have been just as good, and it could have been two hours and fifty five minutes. Three hours is my cutoff. Every time I've ever seen a movie that's three hours, even good ones, I've been like, you could have you could have edited that from the ear, could have you could have cut something one thousand percent.

Pretty extreme, but like I feel so ridiculous.

Good ones, right, prove it. I'm looking at right now. Name it Lord of Ring's Return of the King sucks. Shit, Green good, God, We Fall is good, Deer Hunter is great. Uh, titan isn't.

This isn't. This is a different argument, though, I'm not saying they're not good. You know what I'm saying. I'm saying that you could have cut five minutes, is what I'm saying. I don't have you saying that a movie is good only helps me. I'm still saying they could be good if you just cut five minutes.

Sure, Like it's been a while since I saw Titanic. I'm sure you could cut time from that, right a hundred percent.

She doesn't need to look at it art bullshit. You don't need the five minutes. You don't need that long on the on the wood panel, one hundred percent.

You could the ship goes down, I you don't need.

Once that hits the propeller, for sure.

Climat the what other the Irishman was? Yeah, I didn't like all.

It just didn't need it, and I just loved very For me, I feel very strongly about this. Every time a movie has a run time of three hours in cinema, like in a movie theater, I'm always like, you are you are really pushing it with me. That editor could have just put in a little bit more juice and cut out one more goddamn scene. That is a long time for a person to sit and pay attention. Less than three hours every movie forever.

It's always Scorsese now too. Killers of the Flower Moon, Yeah, I saw it in the theaters.

I never put to suben theaters, and like, I was like, not an off and Killers of the Flower Moon we started.

At ten pm and then by the time I got to hour two and I like that movie quite a bit. I was nodding off.

And there's a lot of bit. I'm not saying they're not good. They can be phenomenal movies. I'm just saying they could have cut out one scene or just trimmed it and made it less than three hours. Three hours is ridiculous.

It is a.

Ridiculous length for one piece of cinema.

Fucking come on, Appazheimer, like it says Oppenheimer's ever. Three hours of.

Oppenheimer could have easily been under three hours. That movie is god tear and it is too fucking log. Did you do the ending where like, uh, they're like walking towards each other in the grass and it just keeps panning back and forth between them.

Like from Monty Python. Yes, if that would be a really weird choice. If they did that with Oppenheimer with three hours, I'd be into it. Yeah, well the show. The show is basically the opposite of my argument.

You shouldn't be taking movies and making them three hours.

You need to be better. Right, good job, it's.

Not that's literally what I'm saying. I'm literally saying the opposite of.

Food, food, culinary, drink, beverage, blanket statements that you guys have. Oh, I mean there's well, there's regional stuff like Chicago. If you have put ketchup or mustard on the hot dog, or if you put yeah, ketchup or mustard on hot dog, it's not a hot dog? Or is it just ketchup? I don't know.

Neither of those are accurate though. Those are just hot dog like. You can't you can't do that.

You can't can't you can't make that. Well, I'm saying people from Chicago don't like it on there, but yeah, it's still a hot dog. I don't think they'd argue it's not a hot dog.

Cuisine.

I mean, I feel like there's things like, oh, all things with olives are bad. But that's just me saying I don't like all of what statement is right, just like, yeah, I do agree with the one here that they said in the email. Nachos without cheese is a nachos like one hundred percent, Like cheese is more important than the chips for me.

Yeah, you have to have melted cheese on nachos.

What Mike, I was I just I just started thinking of some really funny ones, and I've probably said, like anybody who has played Mass Effects six times is I don't like them? Yeah, I've met some of those types in that kind of old Yeah. That unlocked a bunch that I probably actually said in my life.

I don't think i'd trust me like huge fan of thirty seconds to Mars.

Yeah, it's a good one. Yeah, question into bullying people, I'm not saying they're bad people. I'm saying I they're not for me. Yeah, I don't. I don't trust people have played Mass Effects six times. I should say you have to earn my trust if you tell me you played Mass Effects six times through Yeah.

In game design, one of my blanket rules is is if you're using wheelchairs to make an environment scary. That's like so boring and and lazy, oh one like wheeling out, Like yeah, I just hate it. There's like so many other scary things that you could do in an environment than like a wheelchair, which is just a very normal thing that people need, and I just don't get it.

I don't think it'd be possible for me to enjoy any visual novel. I don't know if that's the blanket statement, but just visual novels are bad for me.

It would be most novels. Maybe I do. Maybe I just don't.

I do like reading it justs it takes so long to read. I mean, I a fast reader. Books have so many words.

Though you watch my face. You said it's it's probably no visual novelists for me, really, and we were all like I think me and micro both like visual or listen.

I like reading.

I've been reading this fucking Stephen King short story collection for like a year because any recommended it to me. I've read four of the short stories and liked them all a lot, But it takes there's so many booking words and books.

It's so long. Yeah, they're big collections for words.

Three hour movie in book form. Like when are you like I'm not reading all that.

I mean, I've read some really long books before, and I've enjoyed them. It's just it's like when it's not part of your day, in your routine, it's like it's that habit thing where it's just like if I just got into the habit of like, okay, with my coffee every morning, I'm gonna, you know, read while I drink my coffee, then I'd read so much, I think, because I really have enjoyed whenever I get into a book, but it's just not part of my day, you know what I mean.

Like it's become I've started to try and make a habit out of my weekend. I've started enjoying a slow morning where I wake up, I have a coffee and like maybe a you know, whatever little breakfast snacky I have and I read a chapter of a book. I've been doing that on my Saturday and or my Sunday, and I've really enjoyed that experience. But it's very difficult for me. I know a lot of people who I have a friend who reads in the shower every time. They how are they read?

Everybody's got a good soggy? Is that laminated?

It's it's it's laminated, just like all of Mike's books, you know, Yeah, it's it's a kick. I can't get them sticky, the pages are always stuck together.

Yeah. I have to laminate my phone for the same reason laminate our bed.

You slip over it.

Yeah, I'm so trying to, like and if there's any tips here, I would love them, because like I would love to get into the habit of working out every morning and doing a slow morning where it's like whether it's reading or breakfast without a phone, things like that.

Like that's insane to me.

If I see a notification, I cannot not address it right away, you know, like, is there do you guys have that?

I struggle with that. I mean, I don't think there's a really solid answer for it besides practice. In my opinion, I don't think that's a very sexy answer. But I think my answer is is, like you have to have the self control because what you're talking about, in my opinion, is addiction. You have an addiction to, uh not having any notifications. Do you clear your inbox at the end of the day.

I don't.

I the second an email comes in, I address it pretty much.

Yeah, I mean that's kind of an addictive personality situation or like neurotic right like where I ain't going to diagnose you, but the idea that you can't handle like notifications not read, that can be a symptom of someone who's like imperfect musk cleans, and and that is habitual where you should really practice being okay with unread things because the world goes on and it's also very important for them to be able to wait for your response,

Yeah, well that's that's the thing is Like it's not because I don't think I'm like necessarily addicted to like you know, the tech part of it of a notifications, I feel guilt over like if a friend to even something that's like not work related or not actually important, like a friend just like oh did you see Raw last night?

Or something you see the New Day segment from Raw?

Like if I see that red notification there, it's just like, oh God, they sent me this thing, and I'm like being a bad friend. I need to respond and if I just go about my day and do the things I need to do, And so that's the thing. I'll like pull out my phone and be like, oh, I need to do this thing, and then I'll see all these things pop up, and I'll like totally forget why I pulled my phone out in the first place.

You know, Yeah, that's hard. That's a very difficult habit to fight. And I also think, like I've also struggled with that. I can do the opposite now where someone will message me and I'll see a DM and I'll be like, that's so sweet. But then I will forget to respond, and then like three months will go a by, and I'll be like, oh, I never responded to that person because I didn't think about it at the time, And then I harbor this guilt that I've never responded

Like the world goes on Yeah, anything truly important, you'll get a call if it's an emergency that you should to address right away. I mean I stopped like I'm on Instagram is the only social media I ever use. Uh, it's just like it. I think it is a matter of just like cleansing what's really not important to you. I I've been in a much better place the last several years after you know, having Yeah, also needed to

Pr people I've never even met in person, where it's just like I'll get a work email where it's like, hey, we're really excited were renouncing this game.

We got a code for this would you be interested in checking this out?

Like somebody I've never met with a game, I'm not interested in I feel guilty if it's like I don't like respond, or if I just kind of go somemo whatever, it's like, ah, but like I think that's that's the media thing. Like we get so many fun press releases and emails and stuff. People are just trying to promote their games, and it's like you have to kind just ignore some of them.

Yeah, you do. I would also say, like, I don't think there's any reason to feel guilty. I think, if anything, that's you putting a bit too much importance on yourself. And I don't mean that in a mean way. I'm just saying like I don't think they're like stewing Riker hasn't gotten back to me.

No, They've sent out one hundred plus emails. I'm sure you blanket email. Yeah, I think it's more. It was more for me, just like lately at least now it's like, you know, I take most mourning. I played video games most in the mornings now these days over coffee, and then at night I read and study for class and whatnot. But like, yeah, I let my like Instagram dms pile up now and I don't care, Like I said, like, I'll go through and see if any of them are

Yeah, I said, reminders.

If I see, like someone sends me a YouTube link, I'm just like, remind me respond to this person later on when I can actually watch this video. It is like adding to your to do list, which is again, these are not real problems, but it's.

Just yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's I think it's thinking of it. I found it helpful to it took some discipline and practice, but getting away from thinking of it as to do lists and actually like separating things I need, shit I need to do, and stuff that's like I don't really care that I missed this one skit from that same Instagram channel that my friend always sends me. I don't even like them to begin with, not the friend that this like that.

I thought you would like that match a man at the Eiffel Tower video.

I responded, I took a while a re spont of that because I was in France when I was busy, and I was like this, Dan won't be pissed if I don't respond.

Necessary to respond, Yes, brother, yeah.

I'm getting there. I'll have a good mantra. Man. Is that him? Was that him? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I.

Got another one. Dog people are just cooler than cat people.

Yeah, I have I have one. Dog people are more emotionally needy than cat people.

No, I think we appreciate a pet that actually gives us some like joy and love and isn't just being an asshole. Yeah, you know, my cats give us joy, walk around occasionally, look at you.

Yeah, they just keep putting their buttholes in the camera.

Yeah, fucking Razor just humps boxes and toys.

Look, Razor's nuts. But you can't say we're not talking about Razor.

We're comparing cats to dogs. Razor isn't involved.

Bring them up. Try to say a single bad word about Gizmo. I dare you? Gizmo is not that great freak show.

Look, look, Bank and I would both admit Fraser's insane but floor licking toy humping.

Yeah, Jesse fucking I'm a Nator guy. I'm all for the outsider. Actually, I don't know. Is Ralph Nader known for bad things these days? I don't alive. I don't know is he I don't know.

Maybe I should make political jokes Razors, like we have the most fucked fucker category, Like Razor is just a a dog.

I agree, Yeah, he's the man. I like him more than giz Tell gizz I said that, Yeah, I will not. I don't think I have any other blanket statements. Quilts are nice, though, I think, come on, I mean, come on, I deserve a bit more anti, come on, what's a quilt?

I feel like I was raised hearing a lot of blanket statements, and I think that's maybe why I don't have any. Is because as I got older, I was like annoyed by, like, you know, my dad being like whine is for high maintenance women, and.

It's like I don't like that.

As I've actually tried to, you know, evolve as a person, it's like, maybe blanket statements aren't something that I subscribe to.

Feel like if we combed through Firescape. We'd probably hear you making many blanket statements. Assumption that's a blanket statement I'm making by saying that, but probably maybe not.

I think it's embedded into your subconscious, don't I'm subconscious.

I think it's just conscious, a.

Lot of conscious trying a lot of scraping them out. And you know I go to therapy every week. You know we're working on all that for decades.

Blanket statement. If you're bothered by your neighbors, it's best to throw the whole damn house away, tell your house, yes, absolutely, start anew, get rid of your life.

I have another one. Anybody who's played for Sona five more than four times fucking sucks. This is one specific person I'm talking about. I mean, you're probably right, this is this is just a bit. Francisco sucks as a city.

Oh my god, I could not say that. Noisco I have. I had fantastic experiences I realized.

I mean, we all met in San Francisco, we worked there, but changed like I mean, San Fransco and New York are not even in the same.

Changed my life. I do think like it's gone through some ebbs and flows. But I think all cities can go through ebbs and flows. I think it's unfair to just essentially say like a city is like a dirt bag city.

It's a blanket statement.

I mean, there's good people, and I had good like they're gonna be good people and their good experiences. I had great experiences, and I mean I meant you guys have worked a job. I loved all that stuff. But like city go sucks ass. It is the worst city I've ever been to. Lot So there's long term or short term to live.

In stood on the ground in. I think San Francisco is the worst over the world.

Saying for someone who's as traveled as you, there's no city I've been like, Man, I hate this place more than San Franisco.

I here, here's a question. Do you truly think you put in the work to explore San Francisco Pass like the neighborhood you lived in where you work. Yeah, yeah, No. I went out with friends all the time there.

I would go out the mission and you know all you know, the north was North Cove, North Beach or the you know, absolutely, I'm very social going out. I want to see the city, and that's part of the thing, is like I'd want to go, like, all right, tonight, I'm gonna go downtown and I'm gonna, like, you know, check out the restaurants there and stuff.

It likes are so good there.

That there should be better options. It's not there shut down none of cheese for you. And in San Francisco.

At nine it's like, that's not true.

The public transportation sucks shit, Like well, yes, that that's just America. New York public transportation was great that I actually about San Francisco.

But the food, it's got some of them.

Any fucking city you go to, there's gonna be like really good restaurants, and that holds true for San Francisco.

I've been to a bunch of you guys.

How much of Kentucky have you traveled to?

Uh?

The Jack Daniels Distillary is that in Louisville or No? I think so, yeah, I drove it.

It's around there, and you know, those restaurants aren't fucking crazy except for like the fried chicken options. I I have lived a majority of my life in Ohio and there are cities in that space that suck ass. And the idea that you would compare them to San Francisco and say San Francisco is the worst. You are not as well traveled as you say you are.

No, I just know what I like it. When I don't like you go to bumfuck Ohio.

And you tell me that that place is so much better than San Francis.

If you told me I had to move tomorrow to Ohioentucky or San Francisco last on the list, would one thousand percent be San Francisco, Like I would go to a random ass city in Ohio or Kentucky ten times out of ten.

Unbelievable.

Oh wow, I didn't know we were so pro San Francisco here.

Know, I want to fucking pick you up and drive you to Cincinnati and put you in some fucking.

Bricks and you yes, I like the Midwest. I love the Midwest. I was.

I grew up in the Midwest.

I know you stick at the.

Teet of Midwest, and I don't think that you actually know what culture is.

That is just so good. I tried hard in San Francisco. I would to so many restaurants, so many bars.

You tried, uh, like Fantasio hard to enjoy San Francisco.

Two and a half years.

I fucking tried very nice things I have great memories of going down to Ocean Beach, I going to the what's the pizza but Tony's Pizza or whatever, went there a bunch with Mike and Tim and friends and stuff.

There are there are great things there, but on the whole garbage town. I can. I absolutely see how San Francisco like doesn't vibe with you, of course, but I don't think it's it's it's not in a great place now. It's worseo when I was there. You know, I don't.

Why don't fucking pine Cone say that you're living life.

I've been to. I think every major Mary just say something bad about Minneapolis and make watch him for one shithole one bridge. We have numerous bridges. You've got Central Avenue Care. We have a bunch of wakes so we can canoe and walk around.

And there we put inside canoe in all my life.

A pod and a kayak walk on the lake.

Could this summer because I had signed a surgery, I would have been out there a lot like a stone.

At this point a good swimmer. If I had to choose between s F and Minneapolis at this point in my life, I would probably pick Minneapolis.

Name three types of trees.

Dan, pine elm, cone of fur. You fur, you mispronounced it. And also that's more of like a group of trees pine elm and weeping willow nice justish yeah, and leafy.

Green, barren brown stem.

Drunk.

I'm not saying I'm bear grilled. Just like living in a place that's got nature, you're never in it. You're look out in this window, would see a billion trees. There's a pond, look up.

A two pm. Because you got drunk as ship.

Last night where I was coming from, why.

I just want blood now?

Wrestling with my friends last night, it was a good time at the National Armory city to live in.

You can only do that there.

They don't. They don't broadcast wrestling to any other American city.

That's a National Guard armory.

Oh, what's a National oh Aiden Armory for the National Guard? That's correct. Where there's guns all over the place. No, just wrestling and my cannon's next to the ring.

No, no, not anymore.

Almost just said rink.

Yeah, that's the.

Hockey ring wrestling rink. Well, thank you, Morgan. The harmony your question brought to the podcast That's Our Show, Episode ninety six. I think yes, episode ninety six. It's fun.

That's right.

It's been four weeks since I last spoke to you well, I mean recorded right, talk to you too much to say.

Usually when we do this, we like get started and do the podcast right away. But when we started this call, we actually like chit chatted for almost forty minutes, and I think we did that before we actually started the podcast, because sometimes you're just like, oh man, what have you been up to? Like what's up, Bud, And then you're like, fuck, we have to do the podcast, and so we like

It's just so nice to do well before recording.

It's all the shit that we will not be able to bring all about on the podcast.

Do you hate Who's on your death Note?

That's it. Half the time that one of us makes a joke about somebody anonymous and the other two laugh really hard, it's because we were talking about them by name earlier started recording.

Yeah, we should do like a three hundred dollars tier on the Patreon why did they just get the whole thing?

Yeah, but you can't believe it like it burns. It's like a burn after reading thing. You can only listen to it for.

No, I'll get can so people get canceled.

I think just people might find out what we think of them.

Most people know what I think of that.

Yeah, we do not really like shy about that. I don't think there'd be a lot of surprises, frankly.

No, that'd be yeah. I mean if like certain people paid for that tier now they would probably. No, I really don't. I like that.

I like doing that on on Twitch as well. I have like there's lots of modes that you can do where if you want to comment in someone's chat, you have to follow them for six months. Yeah, and I like that because that's my way of being like, if you're such a piece of shit that you want to comment something nasty in my chat, you have to follow me in subscribe, give me money for six months, and if you do that, you can tell me you don't like me.

Yeah, you got to be for the long game if you want to see that, really.

You're really committed hater to come for me.

Yeah, And then by the time that happens, like, all right, you burn this, I go for it.

Bud, you tell me, you tell me you're mad at me, I'll I'm listening.

I feel like all three of us are bad at hiding if we don't like someone. So it's like I feel like with any of us, if our listeners have seen us on content or on podcasts with and we're friendly with them, we're probably cool with them because it's probably super obvious if it's true.

A different We all have different vibes to dislike though as well, Like I think we have different levels of like how we react and stuff like that. We all have different volatility.

Yeah, I feel like when it's someone that I just don't want to deal with, it's just like I just don't want to. I'm not gonna pick a fight. I'm not going to like, you know, confront them at a thing. I'm just gonna like, I'm just not gonna think about you or talk to you, you know, not gonna go out of my way.

Or do you guys are are the fighters in the group.

I I can be confrontational, for sure. I don't. I'm not physical anymore. Oh.

I remember there was a time in my life where if Mike was upset with someone at a bar, we were like, we gotta get them out of here because he's gonna beat the ship out of this.

The headlines in Paris last week. Yeah, I've whipped him, whipped someone's ass with a bag at dead Yeah, and then poured chatting to Pop all over there, twitching dead body. You never either of you have ever seen me in an altercation.

And well, I think we pull you out usually, but I either Mary.

We usually have an arm each in the marr aching. You're like, oh, I can't punch and I'll kick these motherbuggers. Yeah, you're gonna let Mary say this. Mary's right, picks.

Fights with every Jersey mom who tries getting into a woman's bathroom. Listen.

That was a very unique situation where I was I was offended how she wouldn't apologize.

I think I was.

I was more upset about the idea that I was like, hey, you can't just come into someone's bathroom and she was like, oh, I can't just come into the bathroom and was like trying to fight me, and I was like, okay, now I do have to fight her.

No, I had to pick you up and just move you. I actually cardboard on Saturday, so what happened on Saturday? Can talk about it? Yes? I can?

So you know how like usually we've actually just talked about this. On Saturdays and Sundays, I like to go to a coffee shop and have a little coffee and maybe have a little snick snack and I read my book. And I have gotten really accustomed to doing this is a tradition now on weekends. And yesterday I went to a little coffee shop and I got my little coffee and my little snick snack and I sat outside and a woman sat right next to me and lit a cigarette and started blowing smoke in my face. And I

Cigarette and then start blowing out in her face.

So irritating. She also like asked me for a light as she was smoking before this, she asked me for a light and I was like, no, I'm not gonna help you light your cigarette. I'm eating and so like that was a fighting situation where like I did it, I was pulled away.

You killed her.

Yeah, she's dead. Now she's buried. She's with the United Medical CEO.

Someone pulled you away. I had to pull you away from this.

I mean, listen, I wasn't gonna actually throw hands, but I was told to move on and let it go. Uh, But I was upset about it because you shouldn't smoke near food establishments and fuck her, and I don't like. I think what what enraged me about that situation was I started it as, hey, can you smoke some somewhere else? And her response was I'm allowed to smoke anywhere I want. And that's not true and it's fucking rude, And that's

Oh I can't do you argue with that guy at the airport too.

Oh that was a big That was That was a I was on the phone. I was on a call, a work call at a restaurant at the airport, and when I got off the work call, the guy was like, Oh, are you finally done with your work call so I can enjoy my meal? And I was like, you are at an airport trying to have lobster bisk I don't talk about your airport food experience, and everybody is on the phone at an airport. You think I give a

Mikey, you've never that never happened though in front of you. You haven't. I thought, I did you see it?

Oh God, we don't have enough time.

No, you didn't. I have.

I have seen you try and fight people, Mike.

When waiters, bartenders, random people at bars.

Yeah, I don't think people. Yeah, you.

Stare at them with your drink. Look, oh actually yeah, wait to see if you can fight them. And the most recent you'll say something under your breath just to get them to try and fight you. And it happened at a game awards two years ago, Game Awards, Game Awards. What you were drinking at a game?

Yeah, Mike, I think you're always blacked out when this happens. We see it all the time.

Wait at the game? Did I really do something like that the game awards? Yeah, you rushed the stage and start of talking about Bill Clinton. People don't know that was you. Yeah, it was you.

Yeah, the resolution wasn't great.

What did I Who was I mean mugging at the Game Awards?

So okay, sorry, I'm mixing up stories. You definitely were spicy at the Game Awards once. But the one I remember is when you said I don't like your hat.

Oh you weren't there for that though, I maybe was there and that was yeah, that was yeah, that I'm proud of that one. That was a funny line to start a fight. I hate your hat.

How would you feel if you guys like came here for a Game Awards and we went to a bar and I just beat a bunch of people's asses at the bar.

I couldn't imagine. You're the sweetest person. I think you were the person to get beat up between the three of us somehow have not ever, I think if anyone was to get beat up, it would be you. If anyone would get punched just for running their mouth, it's probably me, And if anyone were to get into a full on boxing match, it's Mike.

Sure, Yeah, it's fair. I have well it was a boxing match.

I wish we had like the influencer boxing stuff that they had like we're not big enough names to like, No.

I want to I've got actual history in boxing. I'm really I'm afraid i'd actually hurt people. I'm a big deal back, you know, Like I would really just I would really upset people by how much I beat the get out of the other people.

Like I can name ten people right now that would be amazing to just set you up against in a boxing.

People. I would like to punch it. A lot of people I hate. I feel like Mike, You've got like a.

Sea Bushimmy, Billy Madison lists of people if you want to kick the chair out.

Of there is like life is too short to be an asshole. It's not that hard to not be an asshole, right, Yeah, don't piss me off by being an asshole, and I won't put you on this list I have. I have two lists. One is just the name Fomka fifteen times in a row. On the title of that list in parentheses is just the different movies Deep Rising, House, Unhunted, Hill, X Men one, x Men two, This page, This page

That'd be a fun segment me trying to guss your top ten. I bet i'd get him.

I could rank someone. Your number one would be No, the number one changed very recently, and I he jumped up the list pretty quick.

Yeah yet, Batista in the ring, you'll kick your ass.

All right, Well, Morgan, thank you for the email. Future episodes. You can write in get us some good questions for the next four episodes, because episode one hundred we've got some uh some stuff planned that we're going to find to before we get there to Yeah, we might.

We we're going to find.

We talked about it, we're find trying to find. We'll tweak it. But the next four episodes, get some good emails in. That's fire skin Cast at gmail dot com. May I usually tossed this to you, but then you mess it up. Go to fire escapecast dot com or go to all of our socials. We link to our merch pages. You can go to fire skate merch. Oh no, I fucked it up, fire skate merch dot com from.

Mer Well, it's not so easy to plug the merch, is it.

Go get our merch I'm not jet lag. I just came. We'll get tons of shirts going like that on fire skate merch dot com. Fuckjake dot org, fuck Jake dot don't go to Fuckjake dot org. And uh, yeah, go if you're not a patron, you want to unlock video episodes, video versions of the episodes, add free versions, or you just want to treat like a tip shark so you appreciate what we do. That's Firescape past dot com. Or

You can watch archives of all of our Game of the Year stuff should be up around the time this episode is coming out.

Uh.

Personally, you can follow me on Blue Sky, Instagram and Twitch are the things.

And you're playing Command of Concer Generals on your Twitch channel right now.

I think I want to play more of that. Yeah, yeah, play.

Zero or if you get to zero hour, if you find time, let me know what you think of it, because it would like Yeah, so I might even like maybe we could set up like a multiplayer thing because it was fun. Marry. What about you.

Twitch every Monday? I stream right now. I'm obviously playing through Silent Hill too, but I will play whatever sparks my fancy during the given time.

Uh.

And I also was I'm just gonna say it. I was invited to do Giant Bombs top ten games. I'm gonna write a top ten games for you, and I'm really excited about doing that. I do it every year and it's like a genuine joy for me to like rank them, think about them, talk about them. So I will do that and it will be something I will deliver with gusto.

All of our best friends will be writing top ten lists everyone, without any exceptions.

Isn't that all of the best friends?

Yes, I don't get that. Oh no, it's okay. You said you and you told you, asked me to didn't you? I did you send it to you? Said it to the founder. Yes, that joke doesn't work, because all right, I was complaining that Grub overlooked me for the couch. But that's my beef with him. I'll I'll take it up with him. You're not I know. That's and then after I we talked about this before the episode, and then I said, I was just joking. I was just making sure that you knew my ego was bruised.

Sure, you're gonna kick grubs ass at the game war?

Do we get it? Watch out?

I think could take you. I think Gub could take you.

Yeah he could. No, he fucking couldn't. I'm just kidding. He could. I think you might. You might have that Ohio dad strength.

I think yeah, he thinks of his children and picks you up, and that would be really cool.

He would be on Grub. I think, yeah, I could see that. I'd be making a lot of money. Yeah, let's uh, hey, hey, Greb, let's let's hang out at the game Wards.

Oh Man.

Broadcasting Mike, if you want to, I would box people impressed, but I have too much actual boxing experience. I think it. But anyway, thank you everybody for coming. I'm just here at fire Escape and uh, I'm over doing my day job as usual. But yeah, been uh it's been a good year. We're getting toward the end of the year. Think we have one more episode before twenty twenty five checks out? Right? No? Do we wait? Yeah? Okay, cool?

Indie Game of the Year, just Zelda call of duty.

All right, thank you everybody for joining. We'll be back in two weeks December thirtieth, episode ninety seven. Until then, stay cool.

You guys were saying Indiana Jones, weren't you. I thought you said indie game of the Year, like indie Games of the Year.

We don't like indie games. I love indie games. Damn doesn't like them. I don't.

I think they're they're me and Mary defenders of the indie game. Mostly me, but Mary also likes them. Zelda, like all I've contained multitudes.

That's an Indian Jones quote, isn't it.

I don't know what is that for?

No, it's fucking Walter Whitman. I think, Oh yeah, he's like layer.

He's got layers like an onion.

Yes I do. All right, well, we'll be back.

These are bonus bonus episode nugets.

You get all the all the talk.

Thank you everybody, See you later. Bye h