Fire Escape Cast #86

Hello, everybody, Welcome back to the fire Escape Cast. It is episode eighty six. It is almost August. It's hot as fuck here. It's really annoying. I don't want to start talking about the weather right away because it's boring. Simpletons talk about the weather. But it's really fucking hot and I'm sick of it. Anyway. I'm Mike Mahardy here. As always with Dan Riikert.

You gotta say ah to marry and then immediately pivot to something really interesting, because he blew it with the weather thing up top. All right, Mary and Mary kish woo.

Someone broke into my house last night and kissed me right on the mouth, the.

Weather man, and he was like, it's going to be a hot one today.

Boys. That's how I get my weather.

And then here.

I don't get apps anymore. I pay a weatherman sneak in and go. It's why you be overcast.

You made the weather interesting.

Excellent, bring up park everywhere you go. Some mornings leave, some mornings. He sticks around and Amanda, you know, uh, you know what they you know, quote unquote tag team the weather man. What do you mean there's no double entendre. We just we wreck him together.

And what context.

We just rock his world sexually.

Oh okay, I see, okay, cool.

Yeah, thunder, here's some thunder for you.

Cast and stormy.

This trip so light right at the end.

Oh yeah, yeah, that's good.

Like, how are you two?

How are yours too?

I said, how are you too?

Oh? I'm good. I'm doing all right?

Are three in the morning?

My weatherman? Three ss we knew foursomes. We're very progressive, the.

Weather man and the sports anchor, the.

Entire weather department of the Star Tribune here. We we have over every week. So yeah, it's it's a good time here.

I love.

The idea is that the more progressive just means more people in your orgy.

Well, and we support print media. I'm not having like website meteorologists over here. We're supporting the newspapers meteorology department by having sex with them.

Oh I was thinking, like broadcast local news team, you're going on to school print.

That's too new media. There's a local news.

There's a lot of tweed in your orgies.

Tweet Oh yeah, yeah, patches, a lot of shoulder patches. Yeah yeah, yeah, Mary is just all streamers. I probably shouldn't say that, do they have weather streamers. Well, I just saw twisters, so I know there are weather YouTubers.

Oh.

I do think there are people that observe the weather, but I don't think there's meteorologists that stream on the.

Rag observe the weather. Like the streamers just them look at the sky, but it's kind of blue, kind of gray.

That I've got a green screen wall. Why don't I become a twitch meteorologist that's like totally unaccredited.

It's like Rob Andleery's audition tape that he.

Has unaccredited Meteorology is a funny uh side gig.

All right, that's a good gimick.

It can't be any worse than what fucking Apple weather tells me every day. It has not been right once this year.

I had a thing about all meteorology and weather men like more women. It's really inaccurate, and we just agree that that's the normal, and so we don't do anything about it. I think any of us could be a

The pseudoscience, it's like chiropractors and people who think the Earth is spherical. I don't buy any of that. I won't have it.

Do you think it's more important to be accurate and good at predicting weather or as good at being on camera and work a green screen and know where you're pointing.

Based on all of the meteorologists I see who go viral, it's really important that you have a big fat cake, and it doesn't matter what you say about the weather owl wild?

Wait what context are their cakes?

Oh god, it's slang for a really nice butt.

You got? The weather thing is? But I think she's talking about I haven't watched a weather report in years. I have no idea what's going on over there now.

Every time I see the weather reports, it's always some like smoking hot lady with a huge.

Shelf, shelf and cake.

I'm behind on the terms. The kids use trolley term toolley.

Okay, her flappers were hanging, you know what I mean of our boobs? Not anymore?

What else could they be?

But chets?

Her lower flap birds they don't.

I think you're trying to get me with that one. I feel like I've heard people say cake, never heard shelf until now.

If you want to be if you want to be cool, next time you're you jump into a Giant Bomb video, say what's up, Sliz?

What's that?

Don't worry, but the kids will know what you mean. All those kids that watch Giant Bomb.

I know about the skibbity.

Now, Yeah, there's skibbity, there's slizz, there's Cake, the shelf.

I'm afraid to say sliz because I don't know what it means. I don't know what skibbity means either, But.

He just said you've got it now skibbity.

Well, I know, I just know it's a term. I don't know. I've never heard of sliz until a minute ago. And probles, you're making stuff up?

What's the probles?

Is the problem?

Probably?

Oh? Going on?

What's that one?

Now? Going on?

Oh I'm not I'm not doing that. Fraggle down and fraggle.

They say, uh huh, this is great radio.

Yes, yes, us trying.

How was Twisters? Was it good?

I liked it a lot? I mean, you go see Twisters, you kind of know what to expect, where you just want it to be the fun you know, you want some likable characters chasing tornadoes around and fun stuff happening, and like that's basically exactly what the movie was. It was similar, i'd say, to just the tone and just vibe of the first one, but a different story, different characters.

I can't agree with such earnestness.

I took Grub was very excited to hear it, and I said it today I'm Blake Club, and the whole chat was like, oh, I'm more excited to see it now.

We are not Grub. This is not Blake Club. Sick of hearing about both of those fuckers, shut up about them.

Stop talking about Blake Clubs. Stop talking about the round Earth kisses mic cof.

Oh, I liked the First Twister back in Classic that was that was also summer blockbuster, right, Yeah, I'm glad.

To hear it was that way outside of Kansas because there I did start to question recently about like, oh, is that just huge because I was in Kansas and we all knew tornadoes. But like, no, it sounds like got people liked it too.

Correct me if I'm wrong. That's the movie, right where a stop sign flies through the air and behead someone. Right, because the wind.

Something behead someone.

No, Rich Twister, there's like a cow that goes around and then it goes round again.

What's her name, Helen Hunt, Jamie Gerty. I'm confused, Hoffmann, I'm confusing.

That sounds like a final destination thing.

No, I mean, I don't think it shows the beheading, but it definitely hurts somebody.

It's been forever. I don't know. I don't remember a lot of death in the first Twister.

That cow's probably dead.

The so they have an explosion of a truck because there's competing people that are also storm chasers and they get too close and they get sucked up and then they like the whole truck explodes and so it's presumed dead.

Carry always the Princess bride. Like he's the leader. He's the bad guye of the Tornado movie. That's yeah, he's worse than the tornadoes.

Oh I thought he's like the voice of the Tornadoes.

Yeah, it's like a Pixar Tornado.

Glenn Cowell's like the hot thing right now.

Yeah. Yeah, it seems like he's just popping up and everything. Bunk and I watched that Hitman movie on Netflix recently that was really good. Net top Gun this like.

We just watched Anyone but You him and Sidney Sweeney.

Can you confirm something? I mean, I don't think he was lying. This just sounds like a crazy scene. So I saw Twisters with Ben Hanson and Bank and Hanson we were talking about this and he saw Anyone but You and said, there's a part where he gets a spider on him and he freaks out and he gets naked and then he like goat sees himself like spreads his asshole open next to like a bunch of people on the beach and ask them to look inside his asshole for a spider.

Uh, the first half was correct, but no, he asked Sidney Sweeney specifically look for the spider and just one person. Okay, okay, well find him that are distracted by a koala okay.

Well that he wasn't lying about him pulling his asshole open and asking if a spider's inside, because that's part to sounded crazy.

They don't show the goats so you see it from the front.

But yeah, but it's implied that he's pulling his asshole open.

Sidney Sweeney's up in his shelf.

Wow, Okay, yeah, that's wild.

They just yeah, they want to. Those two do not have their clothes on as often as possible.

It does seem like somebody lied to you to make you believe that, and it is funny that it is technically true.

Yeah, I think he told me the truth about that. That sounds it's crazy. You thought it was a good plane movie.

I started that film and I could not finish it. I thought it was grade a dog shit. I quit within twenty minutes. I mean, it is bad. I'm just gonna say it. It's a fucking bad film. I don't care.

I was hoping it would be more on like the fun, kind of funny rom com side because we picked it because we didn't really want to watch anything, and then we're like, oh, yes, we'll watch this, but halfway through it got really cringey and like saccherin like speeches to each other about love. I'm like, all right, this is not what I was.

It's just a mess. I have a low bar for rom comms, where it's like, yeah, the writings are gonna be great, and it's gonna be kind of kitchy and you know, garbage because it's about people falling in love and all that's crap. But like, just the way they wrote these characters is so unbelievable, And a part of me was a little nervous because I've always been a believer that Sidney Sweeney was like excellent in Euphoria. This was the some I've ever seen her, and I've been like,

Because that you just have like one speed.

It just doesn't make sense, Like her character is all over the place. It's it's weird how she's portrayed. Maybe it's just a badly written character. I don't know if she couldn't save it.

I guess like a lot of rom coms are contrived. This the beginning, the way they meet and then how they get pissed at each other is so Amanda, Like three quarters of the way in the movie, I think describe it in a way I couldn't put my finger around. She's like this movie feel is like very schizophrenic. Like, yeah it is. It's pretty all over the place and

I like that one.

Yeah, well no, sorry, Pump Springs I know is good. However, he also does that cheesy speech at the end, which I could have done without, but she kind of cuts him off so it works. But yeah, anyone but you was I agree. I didn't like it.

Every time rom coms come up, I am scanning my brain to think if I've seen any, and then I always just wind up going to my letterbox and I think I've seen some, but they're like sneaky, you know, like you wouldn't know the rom.

Coms we've had this exist.

No I know. And every time that's what I'm saying. Every time it comes up, I'm like, have I seen any? And then yeah, I probably haven't.

I probably mentioned sleep with other people before on this show, but it's a good movie.

If you said something on the show, I would remember it.

Yeah, so I trust you to remember it.

Yes, I'm sure.

It's a loaded statement.

Have you seen all this. There's a lot going on now about raw dogging being a thing on flights, and I'm hearing it now. I was just hearing Jan just did a flight from Japan where he raw dog the whole way. But raw dog as it is used now in the media and colloquially is a different than how I said it. I'm not taking credit for raw dogging. I'm just saying it's a weird thing that what six months ago or more I was talking about raw dogging on flights.

It was sooner than that. You you said it not long before there was a GQ story about it that Luke Winky, the game freelance games writer, was apparently he raw dogs flights, but not in the same way as you.

It was too weird to know. I know, I've sawn zero instances of that being named that until like a month ago. I'm not taking I think it's a weird on but it's different. It's different the way I use the term.

I think. I think Luke Winky listens to Firescape and uh and uh, he's just kind of co opting a term that he didn't he didn't invent. No, he didn't invent it. There's other people in that story that we're using it like last year.

But it's I hear a bit in the news and stuff as you're staring at the flight map and you're not doing anything. You're not doing anything, yeah, which is not like I'm doing everything to try to just get through the flight. So I'm playing every game, I'm checking, I'm doing all sorts of shit. I'm eating, I'm drinking, I'm doing everything. So right, talking to me is just sober, you know, not not doing anything.

So yeah, the way they describe it, it's like tantric meditation. They just stare at the flight screen and do nothing else, And I don't know, I have a hard time just staring at like what's happening. The other day, I was tired enough where I was watching. I watched like an entire game download on Steam because I was exhausted.

And that was the Red Dead Redemption two.

No, it was. It was small. It was like four minutes, but like I was like, man, that was that further exhausted me to watch it. I just stared at the bar for the four and a half minutes it took. I can't imagine doing that for eight hours.

I feel like, if the intention is to get into like a meditative state, I guess that's admirable. But I think it's so weird that, like I don't hear about it from people that like meditate, you know. So it's not like, oh, this is like a test of my meditation in the village. It's just like you're doing like an eight hour chunk of meditation at once. And like I've meditate like ten minutes a day, like ten, maybe twenty a day, And to me, the idea of doing

Yeah, a few people in that story I read, we're saying it's more of a masochistic thing, like when they finished the flight, they're like, Wow, that was a workout, and then they're supposedly high energy when they land and good to go, as opposed to shot. I don't know.

I do think there's something to be said about boredom and how we're bored less than we used to be when we were children. You know, before we had phones all the time. Sometimes you didn't have anything to do for thirty minutes and you had to sit there and look at your shoes, and if you tried to like run around or get up, your parents would yell at you, and you just had to sit there and deal with it.

Right.

If you always have media in front of you, you don't have to think about stuff. But when you got nothing but a blank screen, you probably get to think about all sorts of stuff your life, what you want to do in the next five to ten years, people that you haven't thought about in a long time, that you miss that maybe you should get back in touch

I get that. I just feel like I would like it more. I feel like cou'd be more effective to just incorporate that into a daily routine rather than every once in a while when you fly, just do like I'm gonna get it all in at once, you know. I would feel like a regular habit of just being more mindful and not constantly distracted would be better.

I think, yeah, I mean, I think you're right. I think it would be better if you were actually practicing things and doing it regularly. I would rather do ten minutes of meditation a day like you do or walk or work out, you know, for thirty minutes every day. But what ends up happening to a lot of people.

That was in pushups and now I'm good.

That's right. It's just like it's more about being consistent. But if you've i haven't done it in a while, then maybe you just kind of blow the cap and you have to you have to have eight hours of thinking time and then do a thousand push ups and then have all of the vitamin C beverages that you can get your hands on, and then that's a year.

That's you're rip. You don't have any anxiety anymore. You're just your good to go after that. Man, that would that's how it worked. I would do that all the time, just like get in a few times a year, just knock it all out, like yep, this is the day. I'm just gonna fix everything. That sounds great.

The medical industry as we know, it would collapse if the actual secret was just do it all on one random Tuesday, just shut it all in. As long as you do it on this day. It's kind of like what's that day the movie where you can break the law and it's a.

Purge day, the Purge.

Yeah, yeah, one day where you get to cram all your push ups in and then it counts a whole year.

Shit, it's like a rollover miles.

Yeah, yeah, we have rollover miles, roll over push ups.

I do those. Apparently the guy that's GQ article did a twenty one hour flight from Bali to that London.

Oh my god. Yeah, I have two European flights coming up, like back to back, and I'm.

Fucking generally how you get to and from somewhere?

Oh well, well, yeah, one's going there, one's coming back. No, it's like one of them is like one weekend and one of them I get back and then it's like five days later, I'm back and uh, someone who does not travel internationally much, that is a daunting thought.

But let's right, you're doing it. It's it's the worst part lies in the anticipation. Once you're there, It's.

Yeah, it should be Okay, Yeah, I'm going to try to try to row dog well, I might know. I'm going to try to medication instead of twelve beers. I think that's probably a healthier way to get there.

Do you mean like sleeping medication?

I mean xanax? I mean that's that's fine. Yeah, yeah, I mean, which I guess could hopefully any Hell yeah, that'd be great.

But uh, you could take all of your xanax at once, and then you won't have anxiety for the rest of your life.

And you should be a doctor. Doctor gosh, I feel like you should legally say a disclaimer right now that you are not a doctor and no one should take all of it.

Take all your xanax.

Kids, No listen to your doctors.

Ding dongs.

I'm just going in the kitchen right now. Chug every bottle of wine. I'm like, I know, wine, just.

Get your Somebody comes in with your license for some reason. It's the weatherman who wakes you up. He also gives you your wine license.

He puts the pin on my lapel that I'm sleeping with because I sleep in a jacket.

Do you want to hear something gros racket?

Yes?

Always when I was.

A teenager and I had bad skin and I would break out. I used to wish that I could have one pimple instead of like forty. That was just massive, maybe on like in my scalp that way people wouldn't know.

No, just wishing for contact. Is this like wishing to like on a star, Jesus, who are you talking to here?

Yeah, like Jesus Christ, superstar?

Okay, all right, yeah, so Jesus, please give me one giant pimple.

I would just be like, come on, Like if if you just put it all in one, I could get it over and done.

With, and I would like the T one thousand could just go into one spot in the nepop. But actually that'd be really satisfying.

I know.

That was kind of like my dream. That was my teenage dream as a kid. If I could only have all of my acne be one giant pimple, that would be really cool.

God cool is the word.

Yeah, But I remember wanting that and like thinking how neat that would be if I could just merge them all into one. And I think that's kind of like this conversation as well, like what other things if you could just merge it into one life would be so much better my friends. Oh, that's so weird, insult.

I have to worry about?

Which point would you take of me?

Oh? I see, it's like a robotron, like a.

Yeah, let's build a Frankenstein of our friends. Okay, who's all work together to make a friend Frankenstein?

Dan?

You have to call it that.

Man shelf, Dan's cake, Mary's riz.

It's just physical. It's physical if you can take a brain.

Uh, whose brain would I want in this?

Yeah? And what are we doing? Why are we making this monster just to be a friend. It's not like it's not trying.

To an insult like that. You are all just a lot to deal with. But okay, I'm no easier of us.

We're all perfect, right right?

Who's brain? Who do I find? Like? If it's just like if the goal is, like, you know, a funny friend I love hanging out with. But I also we don't mind.

I would hair. I just think that's a really good head of.

Hair, Mike's hair.

But who's Okay, whose brain would you pick? Mary? Of any of your friends doesn't have to be people that we are the listeners know? Actually yes it does. That's more interesting.

It is more interesting. I think Jan is a safe bet again just lovely Michael Hyam maybe yeah, he's really.

Fun to hang out fashion.

Yeah that sounds good.

I would say Hansome and Manati good brains.

You picked the two? Where does people? Well?

Yeah, but they're interesting brains. That's why I picked him. I like a good, interesting, weird we're gonna get.

We're gonna get a six ' five blue eyed finance guy walking through Disney theme parks.

Okay, all right, so can we settle on Jan's brain?

Sure?

Are we all? We're all going to Jan's.

Brain has a bad thing to.

Say about him, I know. Okay, So so we got your brain.

Okay, you could pick Mike and Ben. By the way, I was just giving them a hard time.

Mike's hair, Jan's brain. Anyone have really good vision? Bok has like twenty twenty vision. She's got great.

Great last I checked, I was twenty thirteen. Oh that was like two years ago. Well, we already got your hair.

Yeah, sorry, you can't have it all?

Okay?

When one jack that we know?

I think Vinnie has a good wingspan.

Are we designing a fighter or a friend?

I was thinking, think about you want to reach that guy.

Like, yeah, I don't need a strong friend. It's not a body.

But if we picked well, no, but then they can do it all. They can talk, they can be funny, they can they can grab things, they can fight, they can trouble you.

Because Mary's gonna Oh Mary, wait no, because you're intact it's your friend. I'm just like, yeah, when Mary gets in fights with these Jersey moms.

Yeah, Vinny's arms strong reach.

Vinnie's arms could wind mill her. Yeah, my palate for sure.

Not tall Jack, pretty tall hair. Shit, do we want Decker's legs? He's pretty tall.

I'm just imagining this person. Someone, please, someone right in draw this. If any if anybody listening knows all of these people.

You know what Decker has. He's got good teeth.

It does okay, so Decker's teeth, anyone that we know it smells like their sense of smell is very good. We got to get a nose.

Who's got who's got?

Suggesting yourself ship.

I just had sinus surgery, so I should be all cleared out for the nose.

Well, you're an enigma that you exist at all. Like, I'm not taking anything. You gotta take something from not sight.

Sounds like like Nicholas Cage and Moonstruck. You take something from me?

How about your gamer prowess? Your fingers?

Okay?

Okay, yeah, Dan's fingers.

Oh, don't make it weird, Mike, she said it. Were talking about gaming prowess.

God, I want the photo.

He's wingspan with your dirty things?

Whose legs? Whose legs?

Said, Decker's legs. He's tall.

They gotta be like really nice gams.

What makes a nice.

Gam you know, sleek?

But sleek? Who's looking at the friend's legs as much?

Dude, I have a notebook full of sketches.

I just no height. And Jake Decker's tall, but.

We already have his teeth. Do we want Jake's legs and someone take someone else's teeth?

Can't we just know I like Jake's teeth. Let's get like, can we just cheat ones? Can we get like selm the high as legs?

Okay?

Okay? With Vinny's arms and dance fingers. Sure we need a torso that's the case.

We're definitely getting the scene from the movie where it starts panning up from the bottom. It's playing like sexy music while it shows the legs and it's just this like crazy freaking stuf.

She's so hot, though, I don't think that.

Who's against the movie with her in the in that maroon dawn?

Yes, yeah, yeah, going full Tarantino with that Tarantino's torsos, his pudgy white torso. That is not a win x X the Rocks the Rocks Torso with that too.

Don't we know anyone who's got like a good core.

Mike, you probably you do, sit up and stuff.

But his hair.

Stop taking perfect things from.

No person.

Why don't we take mike stupid ugly ears?

Oh dude, these ears are tiny. You don't want these there tiny, They're real small.

You could fit like five of those in his headphones. He's wearing.

His only is his only flaw. He's like this perfect man and he covers his little ears with his headphones. So no one perfect little specimen. I just hate it.

There's I think there's footage somewhere. I don't know who would have had it saved. Maybe Jean, Luke, Psyche Uh. We were getting ready, like warming up before a Lobby episode, and Lucy was staring at me and she's like, holy shit, you have small ears. And I looked at her. It's like, oh my god, you have a long neck. And we both admit to both of those things, but we had never noticed about the other until that moments.

All right's ears.

What about TAM's torso. It's got a nice torso.

Called the Tam torso. Split it up to abs in upper torsos, so like pecks and abs.

Well, then I would do TAM's abs, and I would do like, uh, a big set of honkers.

Who's got boobs like covered in tattoos?

The rock. I don't know anyone but tattooed boobs.

I've got so many things swirling through my head right now that I'm like, now we need to cut that. I don't want to make Jake cut this.

We can't. We can't out any like hot titties of games journalism.

Who's pooper do we have on this thing? Right now?

I thought we said shelf, didn't we We don't have anybody's butt?

Oh no, right, soma hecks the butt was the button?

Clue your legs.

Yeah, we don't have it. We don't have a dumper yet.

Manati manati butt.

He's got a butt?

No, yeah, it's.

All he doesn't have a butt. He fills that he fills that role.

But oh wait, okay, I got one. I've got one. So TAM's core towards it, and then Tim Turry's chest. You'll get a really like stark differ and and hair color.

Oh yeah, really really nice.

Okay, it would be a good conversation piece, as long as they don't wear a shirt to the parties.

As what are we missing? Most of you got my fingers? Does that include palms just.

As as your Okay, okay, fair enough.

They got kind of fucked up and I was doing Tyson speed grubs palms like grubs grubbed older than may Andy does speed running stuff too, so his are probably more fucked up than mine.

What grubs beard maybe would be nice. We don't really have much of the face on this on this sucker yet.

That sounds nice? Sorry? What if mine is on here?

Fighting spirit? I think we said.

My physical attribute that's.

A gland or something?

Right?

My abdullah Oma.

What do you want to toss in?

This is your friend, So you're intact as you are.

You're just shaving your head like the wig charity thing? Is that what you're doing for this?

Mike's shaving his head and you have to cut off your fingers.

Yes, Oh, and you just get to be intact.

Yeah, because it's my friend.

Oh okay, that's fair.

What else would you want to put all of X into one y in your life? What we're talking about? You were talking about putting all your pimples into one giant thing, all our friends.

What all my beard hairs into one long hair?

Oh that's cool.

Long would not stay in your face for longer than two seconds.

I'd protected, I'd get like an acrylic protector. I carried it around, and.

You're laminating your one mustache.

Hair, the world's greatest hand model. You're one hair.

Roll it up like no, no, you know, like the pulling peel twizzlers. I could like kind of roll it up and put it in my mouth and just keep it there.

Ew. I was gonna say, you're not gonna just rent out a second house down the street for it.

Okay, what if instead of long we just put all the hairs together wide styles, so it's just like a really.

One thick hair.

That's it's like a pretzel.

I don't like it, have this gaping hole of fresh flesh.

Gross. I know, my teeth into one big tooth like those babies. It's like you to make the big cheese. It's it's like that of teeth. How would you eat it? Suck eyes? I can put them both together.

That's not like a lot into a little.

That's just that's just half.

Yeah, that doesn't qualify freckle all of my I used to.

Think about that too. All your eyelashes.

Into one long eyelash hair that hangs down, and then the bottom into one long one that hangs down. So every time I blink, it's like.

What organs one that does everything?

Could you do that?

Just one big orb in your torso that just does everything?

Doctors, there's something wrong with my orb.

It's like pumping blood and ship and.

I got some really bad diarrhea hiccupside.

In there with your blood. That would probably there's some wrong with my or we just had an orb, it would make there'd be less doctors you have to see if there's a problem.

You have a heart attack on the plane. So ione's like, God, bless you, do we.

Have an ORB doctor? Yeah?

Do we have an ORB doctor on this flight?

I'd love you for that.

Oh this is a nice oak, okay to it?

Oh, God.

Of complications? That would arise. I I think I like my numerous things on me, aside from too many friends. M hmm, I have too many friends.

I can think that there's there's there's yeah, I can get rid of them. There's a horror movie where where somebody builds the perfect friend and kills a bunch of people and then takes parts of their bodies and then builds them into like one person.

That's a centennial man, strangely similar to what we'd I know, and.

I can't. It's a spoiler, but it's got a really cool ending. Let me say I can find it. Well, it's a spoiler, I promise.

Is it weird science? That wasn't? Oh?

This is Santa Claus three with Tim Allen.

No, she builds a friend by killing people and then like ripping and she's like, oh wow, you have really nice arms, and so she cuts his arms off and puts them on the body. Let me see if I can find it. It's really doubt.

You're gonna get that in the results. I think you're making it up.

No, I swear I saw it.

It's a real z. I know you think you do. I'm not saying you're making up to mess with us. I think you're just misremembering.

My problem is is Google usually solves it when I when I say Google movie girl imaginary friend builds killing, cuts off arms and it didn't work out. But usually when I do that, Google actually knows what I want.

There's an FBI ask Ai, let's see do you have the windows thing that they forced where it's Ai stuff?

No, I'm trying to avoid it sucks.

Yeah, it sounds like Nicholas Cage movie plot.

Siri, what's the movie where a girl chops off arms and stuff from other people to make a friend?

May? What think with May and May?

Why this isn't like a Girl next Door?

It's wrong? It's May and May. Why I saw this year's This is Old. It doesn't have a very good rating, and I think it's probably because it's kind of a freakish movie. But it's got a really cool concept, which is that she's like, I wish I had more friends, and then she just starts making one.

Why did you? How did you come across this movie? From two thousand and two?

I watch a lot of like horror movies. It's kind of my jam.

But do you just bind them on TV? Or like what drew you to this God, I.

Don't know, I think it. I think it was probably like horror movie of the time and I just put it on.

Wow, huh, what do you know?

We watched a lot of horror movies too. Because of our podcast, people were setting in recommendations.

Yeah, I like watching movies.

The horror movies that still mess.

With me, which was, Oh, it follows as good.

No, it follows doesn't mess with me. I rewatched that recently. I actually don't think it's as good as I thought it was. It's still decent. But The border Lands, that UK horror movie, it was like the first thing we watched.

For you cannot go in my memory.

No, the Borderlands it's called something Else when it came here, but it's from the UK. It was like found footage.

A guy like moves.

To a rural place in the UK and there's something wrong with the priest and he's like trying to escape something and the ending horrifying things ever, and it reminds me of apart from Nope, I Love. I thought Nope was really good, but there's a scene in Nope. I liked it. I watched it again because I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was like, I like it a

Will you see the Borderlands movie?

No, Mary, the one about the game?

Yeah?

Yeah, I like Borderlands the game.

I probably won't.

It might be a home theater type situation. Sure, but I saw both sonics and like, let me tell you, that second one really pushed it for me, and I.

Still saw it. Wait, like it was not great.

No, it's not great.

Oh I thought the first one. I thought it was like by video game movie standards, fine, yes, but yeah, I didn't see the second one.

I saw both. I usually see video game movies even if they're not good, just because I don't know, just because I've probably interacted with that game at some point and sometime, and it's fun to have it reenacted. It's kind of like it's kind of like if you read a book and then they they're like, we're making it into a kind of a B movie, and you're like well, I read it, I gotta see it, and so you just kind of observe it, even if if it's not

I mean, well, a lot of people think the first Mortal Kombat, which would probably be mine, although I mean both in terms of success and quality. I think the Mario Brothers movie was a success. Like I didn't think it was like amazing or anything, but like for what it was, but.

I thought it was very well done. But it wasn't like my type of movie.

Yeah, it's like, you know, my favorite series or whatever, but it's not like I I think they just did a good job with it as far as like the audience was mostly kids. I mean, it was true to those characters and series in a way that like the live action one certainly was not. So like I consider that a success in terms of video game movies, you know, other than that.

Fuck all the Toune Raiders.

I don't remember liking those, but like those very different reasons.

Those were so good.

Were there?

She did like a flip on a ski doo.

I was the one with a Gerard Butler in it, and she's wearing like gamer. No, it's a tomb Raider. She's wearing silver spandex on the front.

That's the cover of the that's a poster for the first one.

Yeah, Cradle of Life.

Cradle of Life. Yes, she was so.

She then gave her a padded.

Bra really yes, huh.

And she's got huge boobs. It's unnecessary, but they were like your Laura Croft, you better pump them up a.

Notch or whatever.

Need them a little bigger. Yeah, unbelievable.

Wait are you suggesting we're into pointy boobs in two thousand and three?

I mean, did you play the first couple of two Raider games? They were point boobs?

I've heard, but those those are from the early.

But my friends have told me, who are perverts? May I add?

My friends were like, oh, yeah, those boobs are pretty pointy.

Crofts cone boobs, my friend, that's what I want.

You want the boobs?

Yeah, PlayStation one tomb Raider boobs. Okay, it's my friend.

I just had I had an idea, a thought. It's really not an idea. It's just a fleeting image of Samahayek from Dustled On Fighting Elizabeth Hurley from the I'm Not sure, what if it's like a movie or a like a theatrical.

Thing, the Wet Dream Special Special on.

The top like for some reason, it's a very memory. I feel like I've gone back to it many times for a specific purpose.

And be a good movie. It would just be a good movie. We like cinema would be.

A great movie. Call up Deny vill Neu. He's he's good?

Would he be the guy?

Because he's Because it sounds art house and it looks in my head it's hard to explain. Sure, Alex Garland could probably do it, Sofia Coppola would probably want to be on board. I would imagine, uh, who's the who's the Gretta? Greta? Actually Greta has pitched something similar to me, so maybe she would want to. Okay, she want to work on this with me. I would script it for sure, and be cinematographer and direct it.

Yeah, starred produced.

The Referee of the Fight.

Edited by Mike Maharty.

You want to talk about video games?

Oh yeah, sure, so horny.

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I've played a lot of games.

What have you played well?

I I'm going to start by talking about Bow of the Teal Lotus, which is another metroid vania, which is crazy genre where they're popping off this year. I remember talking to you about another one last episode. This one is more in the platforming space. I would compare it more to Or because it's very much about platforming, and then the the benefits that you're getting for your character help you traverse faster and get to different areas.

Double jomp, the dash very important. You get those probably within the first three hours. It's beautiful. I would say it kind of looks like Okamie, like a water color animalistic space. It's very beautiful.

You know one that does that really well? Have you played Hollow Night?

God?

Damn it, this one degree. The thing is like, you're such an ass. We know you're joking, but you forget every game. So it is quite possible that somewhere in the recesses of your brain, you have forgotten that you.

I wouldn't forget a masterpiece. I always say, anyway.

I've I have always said, it's a masterpiece. You have just gotten on this train, you have just come to see I can it literally happened two weeks ago. The tape shows that I was right.

Both.

Path of the te Lotus is a metroid Vania platformer. It has really stunning artwork, boss fights that are not easy. It's got some tough boss fights to it, and again I would say, or like sequences where let's say, a big wave of water is coming and so you have to traverse all these sequences in real time, like really hardcore platforming, and if you lose, you die and you have to start the entire scene over again. I've really

You think we're gonna get to a point where if a Metroidvania comes out and it doesn't have you know, like taking pictures or at least putting map markers down, it's going to be seen as like, how the fuck did they fight? Like, do you think it's going to be that commonplace? Because of Prince of Persia and other games doing that.

So well, it's become it's just come to be an expectation to me. Because Prince of Persia was January as far as I'm jeesus, this year, I know, and you know a lot of games are already cooked by this point, right, so they didn't know to put that in there, just like how Hollow Knight really shaped a lot of modern games, but it took a couple of years for that for everyone to be like, oh, you got to have this stuff.

So just realized Hollow Knight was doing that map marker stuff, and you know, I doubt it was the first, but I feel like when I've talked about that concept of like marking the map, I've always brought up Breath of the Wild. I mean, granted very different games. You know, that was a big open world map thing, so I

World like custom waypoints.

Custom one's not just I know, you can just set like a custom waypoint like a GTA and it'll like your GPS will guide you. But like I'm talking about more like, hey, you've got these different icons you can put down, like Breath the Wild style, Hollow Night style, you know.

Right, or like there's a wall and I can't break it, but it looks breakable, so I'm going to put a marker on my map that says like can't get through but should eventually and it a thing.

Yeah, or like animal Well where you can straight up right on the map at a certain point you know.

I think that's genius. I wrote Dan sucks on my map.

I have it.

I did. I can show you I did. I'll take a screenshot. I think this game has a lot of that, those elements where you'll walk on the ground and the ground will shake and I try to do like a ground pound and it doesn't move, but it's shaking. So it's like, I know I'm going to be able to eventually get through there, which is really exciting. It It just has a lot of the elements of games that I like, and I can tell this is going to be one that I'm going to enjoy. It's visually very pretty,

But the platforming is that can hurt, because like I remember I like the platforming and that tales of kenzeru Zau game, and but I remember thinking the combat was kind of like Okay, I got some aero stuff, but like the melee stuff never felt that great, especially like I consider Prince of Persia and now Hollow Night despite being several years old, Like those games had like meaty combat that had some like real you know collision to it.

You know, yeah, it made you feel good. Oh, this game also has a uh, how would you call this a badge system?

Right?

You know? In my Troy Sorry and Hollowinite, you can get badges, but you only have so many slots, and certain badges take up more slots than other ones, so you have to be particular with which ones you take. This game is very similar. It'll have one where it'll be like, hey, you can heal faster and you'll heal more juice, but it takes all three of your slots

Oh, many shoot adventures.

Many shoot adventures. Very first thing upgrade it. Well, I wanted to say about you that the range of my weapon was the very first thing I upgraded all the way. It's so valuable, it's so valid. Any anyway that I mean, there's really not that much more to say about it. It's pretty. Uh, it's it's very animally. There's lots of different environments. I'm already in, like a snow environment, which is pretty rad. Uh. Apparently it's hand drawn, which is amazing.

Nice?

What What else am I playing? I'm well, you both have played. I'm so glad you're here.

Thank goodness you're here. If if you're listening to this when it comes out, I think you still got a day or two before the game comes out. That's why it was delayed a little bit. Today was so we could talk about this from Bargo. Oh my god, Mary, I I gave you the Herd, so I give you both the hard sell. Mary, you played it. I don't know, Mike did Mike did.

You when this is the first time I'm seeing the name of this game is on this doc what you told you?

This is just rude. This is wow.

You've talked about this game to us.

Oh my god, I've got screenshots. Listen. I had never heard of this game, and then I started hearing some chatter among Giant Bomb and there are some folks being like, hey, talking big on this game, and so I just kind of checked it out. Side unseen immediate feeling I had on it when I booted it up is it is the most British thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

Show it is it is so it is absolute British comedy. Yes, it is kind of like peep Show because they're always being very cheeky, even delicately dancing around sexual content. I'll give you an example. Very early in this game. I actually do not know what genre of game this is. I don't know how the buck Okay, it's it's so odd. There's two buttons. It's it's wahs walk around and hit smack. Yeah, that's the only that's all you have.

I don't know if you have a name. You're a cool little dude, and your guy with a big head that walks around.

You're small, you look like a lemon with legs, and I anyway, early on the game, someone was like, I gotta get this lawn work done, and so I hit the mower. I immediately start mowing. A very funny sequence

It's I haven't thought.

It is.

Oh my god, there's so much any sex jokes in this game. It blows my mind.

Like pies and sweet pies are very very well, yes, but I don't feel like it was overtly going for sexual stuff. I thought it was just very British, just like the game is. I guess it's kind of adventure game, kind of platform where you can't die. It's just like you're walking around as this dude and you're gonna run into someone's like, oh, thank goodness you're here. Can you fix the stores all fucked up? Can you fix the store?

The fact that Mary is picking up on a lot of sexuality and Dan, you didn't get any of it and makes me think it actually is really British because they're British people are never forward about the sexuality.

Stuff, and I like British humor. I don't think it's a lot of sexual stuff. There might be some.

There's a lot and it's subtle. I think. I think good homework. Then mic is for you to play it and count how many sexual things are because there's there's a lot. There's a lot in it, but it's not overt. It's kind of like that one I was. I think that one is a good example with the lot with the mower. He's like, you're gonna have to talk to my wife, which is just like, we all know what that means. But it wasn't literal the way he was saying it. It's very casual the way these references are

In the description on Steam, the town's colorful inhabitants are brought to life with vibrant hand drawn animation, fully voiced dialogue, and wall to all double entendres.

M I'll have to play it again, but it's like that the recurring bits are like you falled out a fireplace, shoot and like get sit everywhere. That's not a sex thing.

Oh my god, there's actually I just like that.

They said, they like specifically pointed out.

It is filled with double entendres. It is filled with double entendres. And there's even a scene where characters are doing.

It when it's just not on camera. When you're going around, you're like outside.

Windows, You're outside a window.

Okay, I beg, okay, okay. Also, it's entirely possible. I just forgot a lot of this game, and I probably picked up on it when it I'm a smart guy, right, just not present.

Let me let me I wonder how many times you've been hit on Dan, and she's been like that to my place if you need to know what I mean, And she's like, I don't really know about that. Let me give you my place.

I will give you Exhibit A and Exhibit B my first date and my first kiss, and you can tell me if your hypothesis is correct. First date, I'm fourteen. I go to see what dreams may come? The one about Robin Williams going to Hell in Heaven. I've been there with Elizabeth. She asked me out, I've never kissed anyone. I've never got on a date. I'm staring straight ahead. I'm raw dogging what dreams may come. I'm just staring at the fucking screen because I'm so nervous about being

That's George Costanza when the girl asks him up to her apartment when he's dropping her off. She's like, do you want you want some coffee. He's like, ah no, it's midnight. I would never sleep. I guess.

She's like, okay, all right, I play it again and I'll look for sex stuff.

Dan. I have to ask. It's been throwing me off. Yeah, night, when did you start looking at the camera.

I was wondering if you were. You're a very observer.

I really dislike when people do that, and I was like, I don't think Dan usually does this. No, I gotta tell Mary was talking about teleprompter.

Yeah, yeah, it's the it's hell gotta. I got it for my birthday. I was telling Mary my mom got me this really nice bottle of whiskey and a teleprompter. So it's like, I use the telepropter for well, because like right now, the reason is I switched the windows around during the break and that's why you're just noticing it. So I'm looking at you right now. I'm looking directly at you too. I will see you, but the camera's behind the glass, so like the camera and you.

Well, Mary was talking about bo I was like, oh god, Dan became one of those people. I hate that. I don't know. No, it's just funny because oh no, no, it's oh it's do you want me to change it? No? No, no, no, no, you're fine. It's just it's someone I really dislike in the past did that all the time. I've probably talked about him before to YouTube, not on the show. I was just like, oh, I don't was Dan always one of these people? Because a lot of people do it and it doesn't bother me.

Well, you just look like you're like, I can put my notes up there. I can put the cameras up there. I figure like during zoom calls and podcasts, I generally try that. Now came bothers me.

Now, Like, I didn't think about it.

I put my notes up there.

We'll pull the patrons see if they're like, what is he doing?

Because I fisk you out, Mary, I think you should see.

What it looks like.

I'm looking at it. I'm looking at the screen. Yes, anyways, thank goodness, you're here, married to you?

Beat it?

Yes, it's I rolled credits on it. It's only like three hours long.

Yeah, yep, it's a breezy thing. I beat it in like two sittings.

It's also it shouldn't be longer.

No, like it is the perfect length.

It's where it should be yep.

It's also like like not only is like the writing really funny and everything, but like it's surreal and weird in that like you're weird little guy with no he doesn't talk, he doesn't have a name, you don't really know what he's doing. He's just kind of wandering around this British town. But like sometimes he's like normal size and he's like similar size to other people walking around

You go through tubes, you go through tunnels, you go through pipes. At one point, it doesn't make any sense, very evocative. It's surreal again all euphemisms for the old in and out.

There is that store that closes because you jump up on like it's like a food truck thing and you jump up and it's just a big ass in the window and you punch the ass and the sign comes down and it says like closed, dude to bum swaddling or something.

It's like, I think it says closed due to slappy bum bum.

That's right. There's a lot of good signs in the background, so like weird products and grocery stores and yeah, oh man, it's the.

Aesthetic looks like British rural hey arnold like character.

Wow wow yeah, let me see what it looks in screenshats. I was this went from a game I'd never heard of to like thirty minutes later, I was in love with this game. It's definitely going to be in my top ten of the year, I think. And again, I go into games. If you told me it's a comedy game, and that's kind of the main thing it's got going for it. And it's also like, you know, it's it's I guess it's story based. It's not.

I guess.

I wouldn't call it. It's kind of dewey. You're just kind of go around interacting with stores.

It's very dewy. You're helping people with tasks, right, like the mowing of the lawn. That lady with the chip store, she's like oh, I want to make me chippies, but the oil is broken and we don't have a spana, and so you got to go find the wrench so that they can fix the chippy machine. And it's stupid, like none of this stuff is important or impactful, but it's funny, like the whole thing is cheeky and oozing charm. It's it feels great.

To pleasure, but also it gets weirdly dark too, like there's the stuff with the meat, and like there are parts that were stance fucked up, kind of like I appreciate it stuff.

Yeah, I think it's great. Uh, I do recommend it. I think right around the time it ends, I was like, all right, I've had it with this game, but like, you know, three hours is.

The right amount of time in a way that like I wasn't like bored by the end. I was just like, all right, you stuck the whole Like every part of that I enjoyed and it ended, and I wasn't left being like, oh, another couple hours, and I didn't think it overstated, it just welcome. I thought, how much is it?

Do you know?

I asked a good three hour game? It's not always like the best sell for certain people.

But I think good about that.

I think it's a fantastic experience, and it's to me, it's the equivalent of a good movie, right, so it's worth the cost.

Of a movie to me.

Oh it's on Switch. Oh that'd be a good Switch game. It's a great Steam that game. I played it on that. Oh you know what, here's a price for it. And let me see make sure this is right. Well, I just didn't load once I clicked it. It says here on the Google search thing. It says sixteen ninety nine on Switch. Okay, I think that sound pretty good.

It's the cost of a movie, you know, So I don't think that's bad. I would say, yeah, it's a three hour experience. That's like the one thing to keep in mind. I think it's fantastic.

Yes.

The developer's previous game is a free game, also on Steam called The Good Time Garden.

Hm hmm.

Look it up, because it just is just like sexual organs, well explore a throbbing.

Not to Dan, that's just a garden looks throbbing pink world.

I don't want to get that naked creatures to gather food for your friend. The Schorcer experience, and then yeah, the video is pretty watching.

Oh yeah, I think this game called.

The Birds and the Bees and he learned how to.

Guard good Time God and it sounds like a Laslow game. This is my Good Time God.

Oh this looks fucked up too man twenty nineteen, Good Time Garden interesting. Yeah is the developer, yeah, Cole Sepper, also a very British sounding name. But yeah, yeah, huge, huge into it, love it games? Are you funny?

I think it's great, a very good. It felt like playing a modern cartoon.

Yep, yep, or like a just a great British comedy. You know if you likes myny Python's the obvious one. But yeah, British humor.

Good stuff.

I've been playing. I've played more Diablo FO. I got into like World tiers three and four. That game's pacing is odd. I think I mentioned this, but they don't really tell you that you can't go to World tier three until you beat the story, which I wish I knew because I was taking my time with it being an open world, as taking my time with side stuff. I wish I had just plowed through the story and then gone back to clean everything up and gotten more

Anything sexual in that?

Oh yeah, Lilith herself is just all boobs and like a shelf.

They call it.

Put it all that's but put her on my best friend.

Actually, no, a shelf might be either way. It was. Jabble four is niggat spot much better than used to be. But I haven't played much outside of that.

I would like to try that more. I you know, I did put it on my Steam deck at one point, thinking like, oh, this is on a flight, but you had to be like logged into battle neet or whatever, like, well, that sucks. That seems like that'd be an ideal game to play on a plane or something and just kill time. But yeah, having to well, plans have Wi Fi now, but I think it just has to connect. But still just let me play it offline.

I can't imagine Diable Forward run well on plane Wi Fi.

Well if it just has to do like an online check, you know, it's all.

I've seen bad rubber banding and then I had to reset my WiFi here. I don't know. Maybe maybe you'd have good luck. No, because it's actually running. You're in the world that you you make your characters in is a server of X number of players, okay, because it's you can run into other players in the open world. So it's not just like Diablo three for instance, that it just needs to check that you are in.

Fact on the okay, gotcha. Yeah, I'm curious check it out. You know, you got codes for a PS five and I'd like to play it, And it's just things are actually kind of starting to come out now, so once, once there's a dearth, then I do want to check it out.

Yeah, things are picking up, but I agree. I really enjoyed it when it came out and I dropped off, and I'd like to get back into it.

Uh, Mary, you is this blued Blood?

I've been calling it hashtag blood spelled b l U D blued. Nineties cartoon style game Dungeon Crawler's probably how I would describe it. You're a girl in school and you find out that you're a vampire hunter of sorts, and you start killing creatures of the night with a lot of the tools that a school girl would have, like pencils. You throw the pencil like a like a dagger, and if you can get them in the heart, you

I was just looking at some images and gifts here, and yeah, it reminds me that like maybe like two thousand style of like Nickelodeon, like Fairly Odds type stuff, and something about the setting and everything reminds me that remember they made that Scott Pilgrim game. Yes, yeah, I kind of just brought me back to that a little bit so.

But it reminds me of Dexter's Laboratory.

Yeah, yeah, that's what Cartoon Network. Yeah, yeah, cause I think of that as like, you know, that era was kind of like beyond my you know, like my sisters watched that they were younger, and I remember thinking, like, when I look at that art style, it reminds me of like the cartoons my sisters would watch on like Cartoon Network or Fairly odd Parents and all that stuff.

It's got style for days. It's very good. I just really thought it was so cheeky and funny, and I liked the conversations that took place in it. It is young. I would say this is like a younger focused game maybe for like younger audiences just the way that it's presented. But as long as you're okay with that, it's an enjoyable, simple, cutesy story that I completely I poured myself into it over like a six and a half seven hour flight, and I was like, that was great, what a good use of time.

I liked it.

When I finished it. There's a really crazy bus sequence that it's just all animated, and it's wild that they animated all these cut scenes the way that they did. I thought they put a lot of time and energy into making the animations as fluid and as smooth as they made it. So to me, that made up for the fact that I did not care for the combat system, and every once in a while I thought one of the puzzles was dumb, but generally I thought that was quite good.

That's blood b l U d Mary remind me I've been thinking about Dungeons of Heinterberg for the last week or two, and I was like, yeah, I'm on so many fucking podcasts, and you know, like I talked to Bond called Tien about games, and sometimes I forget where somebody recommended something. Were you talking about Dungeons of Heindterberg. No, God, damn it. I thought it must have been you. Who the fuck was telling me about this game? Because I

I have never heard of this game?

The fuck was talking about it because it seemed like a merry game, Like when I downloaded it and looked at images and stuff like that day, this seems like a merry game.

Looks like a merry game. Yeah, it's cool, like you're like skating, You're like a little skater chick.

Yeah. I heard.

It's got a really good style. It's got these like Zelda style dungeons like I want to check it out, but I cannot remember who the fuck A weird way that it was a merry game, you just didn't know about it yet.

Yeah, it's like it is. Was that open world desert scavenger game with Japanese Breakfast soundtrack from two years ago. Japanese Breakfast. She did the soundtrack for it. I don't know what that is. Mary. I feel like you should know this Japanese Breakfast is the artist she did this soundtrack for. It was like kind of quiet, meditative, open world game where you're a scavenger, but you're like, you get a hover bike. I think it was not Sable.

It was a table Okay, I remember.

That game was beautiful.

That looks similar to like that cell shaded third person of Sable that Dungeons of Hinterberg does.

That is Mary. We both try to play this before next time. Sure, I think this would be This seems like something we might both like.

Yeah, this does seem like something I would like.

Yeah, my summer slam plate. I'll play this, Okay, Great's easy?

What else, Dan? What are you playing? Any World Championships?

This is the most me old man shit imaginable, and it's for me, and it's hitting with me, and it's uh yeah, it's I don't I could not. If you didn't grow up with it, I don't think you care. I think if you don't care about speed running and you didn't grow up with any s stuff, it seems like a hard sale to me. But for guys like me and Greb and Minatti, who very much grew up playing this stuff, we are obsessed with this game, despite

If you're a footy year old mark walking around with a handful of cash being like I don't like money. I wish I had a mediocre game that reminded me of the good old days.

It's a it's a good game. It's a good video game.

They half asked it and they stole your monies.

Oh that's classic Mary accusing devs of being lazy, lazy devs. That's your gimmick, Mary, Move on. All you ever do is lazy devs. Oh, Puddles and Spider Man, these lazy devs.

Those are the only ones who put in any of the backbone these days.

But I'm not recommending this game, do you two?

This is the longest villain here. This is the this is the longest my list of games that I need to catch up on has been in years.

Hit us with it.

Uh, let's go back to the top game. The Operator. Cass Marshall of urt Polygon wrote about it, you're kind it's similar.

To one operator.

No, it's like her story kind of thing where you're I think it's like nineties or eighties. You the game interface itself is someone's computer screen nineties and you're like trying to solve like Deep State CIA crime ship by zooming in on different suspects on different cameras and like going through this guy's files and his computer. Next a Ranger, a role puzzling adventure. I actually don't know what that is. I've wrote it down though.

Next, Oh, this was gong show like Mary here, uh where it.

Goes out to my laptop? Uh, Panta Land? Lost in Fanta Land, like don't you want to want to fast? Lost in Fanta Land. It is described as into the Breach meets Final Fantasy Tactics. It's like a road on a small board. But I'm sorry, what's the name of this Lost in Fanta Land? One word is it? Is?

Oh, I'm going to put that steam deck for flight well people.

Ken Levine was tweeting about it and I was like, oh, damn, this game does sound sick.

Oh oh I want to play this. Oh yeah that I totally see the end of the breach.

Next this looks good. What the hell's fallen aces about the Dave Osher game? It's the you know oh yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, like noir kind of.

Yeah yeah yeah yeah.

I still got to play crow Country.

Oh that's so good.

Dungeons of Hinderberg's on there now. I still have not played the sniper game where you're going from guy to guy with the bullet. Yeah.

Children, Children of the Sun, Oh yeah yeah, suncorn.

That's actually it an animal. Well, I have not caught up on things. Anytime I play something, I don't have my time to play games lately. Yeah. Between my my like vacation and then work, I'm playing other stuff specifically for work. Uh, and then free time, I'm like, I'll play like an Hour of the Elbow because I can't start anything and really sink into it.

I play crow Country again.

I know, I saw that I really need to play it. Tim Turry and I were talking about it.

It's even better the second time. I want to say this because I don't think I express The first time I played crow Country, I was like, this is great. It's really similar to Silent Hill, and it's great for horror game enthusiasts because it's built very much in love of old horror games like Silent Hill, so old fans would love to correct. The thing I don't think I conveyed is I gave this to my twelve year old niece and she played through ninety percent of the game

I think that's extremely telling what you're saying, because like I have not played that, but I've just seen, you know, screenshots and a little video of it, and it's like, oh, you know, of course, my thought is like, oh, it's

Those games, she's never played any of that shit before, but she's always told me that she likes Harry games. But she's twelve, and that's tough, right, because I can't give her a really fucked up game. Croak contes is in there.

I bet she would just as much enjoy to do speed run challenges on Kiddick Right, kids, you got kid writing the name, it's for you.

I would love the nes World Championships.

No, she would, No, she would not this game.

This game really did it threads the needle. I understood the references and the appreciation of old Rezie and Silent Hill. She appreciated it because she was like, it's very scary there's monsters that are coming at me. I don't have that much AMMO. The game is also very forgiving. When you run out of AMMO, you can kick a machine and it'll give you like eight more bullets. You have

And she was like yeah.

She like got back in the I've never felt more like a parent, like a proud parent, than watching my niece play Crow Country and just just ultimately like, by the end of it, really own it and understand how she was going to get through all these monsters. And the game does get pretty intimidating, especially towards the end. I was just so proud of her the way she got through it. So I'm buying it for her now.

It sounds like she's coddled and she's never going to get a job unless she knows how to use an ank ribbon to save that's right, Yeah, she's I'm going.

To make my your Elden ring and tell her if she can't finish it, I'm never talking to her again.

Yeah this okay? So the game the other game I mentioned a Ranger, a role puzzling adventure. Looking at video of it now on Steam, and it looks you're on these tieills like a Zelda esque kind of level layout. However, you're not moving your character. Technically, you're moving the tiles of the level to move your character across it. So you're picking up scissors to cut stuff and puzzle it.

Okay, I see almost like.

High Rule that music game.

Crypto the Necro Dancer. Yeah, it's like you're reminding me what the slide puzzles, you know, the like grid three and you gotta make it to you know the thing.

Also, the description is find your way in a world of breezy, thoughtful puzzles along a charming journey of self discovery. I'm so sick of self discovery. I don't want. I don't give a ship.

Have you ever found self discovery in a video game?

I don't care. I refuse to acknowledge it.

Same you can't make me grow. I refuse. Like learning something about yourself through a video game.

In the game is a character who is discovering herself on this Yeah, what I just made I'm joking it. Yeah, I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't need another character finding themselves.

And I don't need a game to teach me anything about myself either.

Pocket launchers and big knives and cops are chasing them in the woods.

Jump button, Yeah, I require a jump button.

Any numbers above things, heads bars, life bars.

I want to be able to throw pencils and stab vampires through the heart.

Checkpoints No, no ink, ribbons in ribbons.

I'm gonna play crow Country soon. I have it downloaded. That one.

That one's up there for me, So I'm glad I got to talk about again. And then the last one that I have to mention briefly, Dan, this one might be for you. No, I'm gonna tell you things that I think you're gonna like about it. And then I'm gonna tell you the things I don't think you're gonna like about it, and then ultimately I would like you to play it and tell me if I'm right or wrong. Okay, Okay,

Gun like the Unfinished Swan. You play that kind of okay?

I like that game great. The game is takes place in Montreal. I don't think that's a pro oricon.

Like the third best city on the planets.

There are so many good wrestlers from Canada.

I'm pro it's very clean.

Uh.

You are an artiste and the world is in black and white, and as you color the spaces in your apartment or in the local area, everything that you color becomes a part of your rolodex for you an artist to paint. So if I color like a cat and the sidewalk and a cone for you know those orange cones for.

Construction unfinished.

Now, when I go to paint, I can pull up the bird and the traffic cone and the cat and I can make a painting out of them, and it's my painting.

Real quick. I'm looking at a video right now. I just want to sure if we said the name of the game Eta. Okay, I'm looking at the video right now. I love the look of this, and it's like, is this watercolor?

Is that kind of definitely watercolor style? It's simple at first, and I think you might, like some people might be like, oh, this looks like an indie ass indie game, and I think it has those elements to it. But it's so fucking charming. So let me just give you the rest

Can you paint things? So is it like a you know, paint by the numbers where you have to do things a certain way or can you kind of paint like whatever, like, oh, I can make this apple blue, you know, right?

So you can alter stuff very significantly. What I really like about this game is you can. It's they're three D objects, and you can change the position of them in every conceivable way, size the way that it you know, whether it's looking right at you or whatever, and you can change the colors of them. As far as I'm aware, and I could be wrong, I have not seen a free hand paint brush, so I have not been able to like literally paint like sure Mary rules suck it.

You know, I think you're right. I think this is something I could enjoy, you know, in thinking about this, like, I think there is this I don't know if you'd call it a genre, but the type of game where you are doing things that would seem mundane or time consuming, but you know, you're building towards something. I do really find the satisfaction that. I think the two that come to mind immediately are you mentioned powerwash simulator and also unpacking.

I like that.

I get a lot of satisfaction of it. I also love that, like that type of game is the perfect Like I've got something on the background, you know, I've got wrestling on the TV, or I'm listening to a podcast or something, and I'm just kind of playing this and zoning out or a plane game, you know, like I think this shit really works for me? And uh, do you think control wise? I assume you probably played with keyboard and mouse. Do you think it would work well for steam deck?

I played it with a game pad, so I think you could play it with a steam Deck, providing that it it doesn't overload, because I think when I downloaded, I was shocked that it was like nine gigs, which means obviously there's a lot of textures in this game.

Sure, I don't know which.

Sorry, sorry, but I played on a game pad, So yes you should. In theory, the control should work. It's just a matter of whether or not the steam deck can handle it.

But even if it's kind of chunky, it's not like this is a platform or an action game where like, you know, like and put you know, like, if it chugs a.

Little bit back to it'll be fine.

Do you have you messed with that setting on the steam Deck. I have found this to be a lifesaver, that TDP setting. No, oh my god, thing, Oh it's playing.

Like the Witcher or anything on my steam deck. I'm always playing some like Little Bandy Dark Mary.

This is extremely for you. It's something where it's like I think it defaults if you hit the whatever, the it's not the same. I think it's the three dots on the right side, the one that pulls up the like Bluetooth settings and the power settings and all that. You go to the power settings, you scroll down and there's like a TDP setting and I think it's default

Wow. Steam Deck too, though I do have the O lead.

But I check if you have the base model. I don't know what.

The battery life just inherently better. Also on the well, it's a little better.

Yeah, but it's like if I'm playing elden Ring on that thing at fifteen tdp, I'm going to get two and a half hours maybe out of it if that, you know, but you elden Ring is not a good example because you wouldn't want to bump that down. But yeah, hollow Night, you know any of these like older games, I'm playing Windwaker, I'll bump it down to like seven or eight, and you will like double your battery life. It's awesome.

That's a good advice.

I will check this out all download this for the same deck. I'm gonna get lost in pants Land. I'm gonna get Etta and Dungeons of Hinterberg are on the shortlist for my flights coming up.

Good Mary, do you have anything else?

I very briefly played a Gotcha Pond game. I don't know if anybody else played it. I think we all got little codes for it. It's uh, it's very much like that Oh God, I forget the name of it, but it's the one with the fruit and the fruits combined into bigger fruits.

Sweaker game.

Sweeker.

It's very much.

It's it's that, but it's gotcha pon's and so you're combining them to get them to you know, be the biggest gotcha pond that you can get.

What is that? I hear that term? What is gotcha?

Okay? In Japan? You know when you see all those things, you put quarter in it and.

You captal toy stuff toys Okay, right, right, games like Gnchin and Honky Starro and Sendless Zone zero embrace that and put that in digital form.

Is it basically loop boxes?

Yeah, because there's system ones or rares or shinies.

Okay.

Also people will like churn the quarters to get the specialty ones.

The difference being, and I might be butchering this a bit, the difference being with gotcha, you know, a pool of potential things you can get of rarities. Yeah, no, ess actually it is similar. Yeah.

Yeah, it's like you know Bonco's gambling. Okay, Well, it's well you'd also like buy the sets because like I saw a story about these piman or no, it's a Bryan Altano post of these uh pickman terrarium things they have in Japan, and there's like six of them you can get it. And Bonk was in Japan and I texted her. I was like, oh my god, if you

And man, maybe yeah, so that's what a Gotchapon is. This game is more like the sweek of game. I think it's probably ideal for kids. I actually wish I had it when I was with my nieces, because just as much as I think my twelve year old would have loved Crow Country and she did, I think that the five year old niece that I have would have loved Gotchapon. It just seems like it lends itself to

Nice cool, all right, A bunch of stuff to add to my list, which is not getting any shorter.

Also, I have one dungeon left a wind Waker and it's it's still an incredible game.

What's the last dungeon? Uh? You got to go?

It's like the Earth. I think I beat the Wind Temple and I'm going to the Earth Temple.

I got it.

The little leaf dude, I gotta go float around within the last hungeine Yeah, yeah, a little corrac fella. Nice god, I'm so good. That's been one. I've been playing on planes too, and there's something about wind Waker on planes where it's like, oh, this is a good, just kind of journey game.

We play it on a boat.

I've had on boats. You two are the ones on boats all the time, just saying I've been on a boat in a while.

That's like not the right Zelda game for a plane. I guess Skyrid, but that's would be the one to play I have.

That one is not good. Really, it's fine, it's fine. I just don't want to get a boat.

Here's the Kingdom.

Oh if I could take a boat everywhere, take it to Europe. I would love to take a fucking boat. But I'm sure it takes months or whatever or is that just wait? It used to take months when it was like the Nina and the Pinza and stuff. But like, I can you take a boat to Europe quicker?

Now? Yeah? Right way?

Since the Santa Maria down.

Well, I know you're a boat science like there's still just privy to the it's just the winds, right.

Shrap you to a rocket.

We'll get There's three ships you just mentioned were six hundred years ago.

Right, But I look at the boat now and it's like, I'm sure they have motors and stuff. I'm sure it's better. But is it like twice as fast?

It's more than twice. I know you can, like it's a matter of weeks, not as long as it.

Took doff like to sail across the ocean.

Blue weeks is still a lot loser is a boat trip I mean it's gonna be longer than the like eight hours or ten hours.

I gotta take so to play crossing game.

Okay, who is this guy?

I don't know.

A ship from New York to London is generally seven nights.

I think seven nights. I wonder if I could expense a boat triplet's stay atlantic. Is it cheap to get a boat?

No? O?

And then once you get there, it's not like, you know, if you're going to like London, it's not like on the shore you gotta take a train or something. I don't know to figure that out.

I mean some cities are on the shore.

Doesn't have to be London on a beach in Europe, Yeah, it's a dest ranting now. Yeah, the airports have taxis and stuff. Do they have ubers in Europe?

Yes?

Okayft.

You've been to Europe before, haven't you?

Oh yeah, yeah, I've been several times. Yeah, but like only once in Uber times.

I would. I think Uber is still more pervasive than lyft. Okay, okay, but either one, I mean land and then press the button that says uber and if you find ubers, and then if you don't find press the button that says the lift.

Yeah, that's right. I guess we took an over to the airport. Yeah, okay, yeah, all right, Yeah, they got to find in Europe. Yeah, they take europe dollars though you can't like it'll translate it on the app though.

Yep, you're gonna be okay in Germany.

Oh, what's them there? It's gonna be a bunch of people I know and stuff that'll be good.

Uh.

And then it's just a flight. Assumes I'm knowing with the flight, it's just like, all right, let's just have fun in Germany.

Yeah. Wait, are you just doing Cologne for games?

Come? And then I got a little pit stop in England on the way back.

That's the same trip. You're stopping in England.

And I've got an England trip before that trip. And then I come back and then I go to Germany and England. Okay, gotcha, Yeah.

Yeah, England's not bad from Minneapolis. It's gonna be seven hours.

Yeah something like that.

Yeah, it's not bad to Heathrow or yep, yep, sick.

Yeah, I'll live.

All right. You guys want to do emails, Yeah, yeah, okay, as usual, you can write into Firescape cast at gmail dot com. Questions, comments, thoughts, insights might ask. I read your question, vibes, question on the air, got a couple here, I think so usually try yeah, one game, one non game. I'll read this first one because it was a response to something I said from France, and then whoever can

You were talking?

Go ahead to the listeners, Dan, It's just zoomed in very close and looking at me through the teleprompter.

Making us uncomfortable.

Hey, yes, I have I brought back a bottle of I brought back a bottle of green Chartruse toast from Paris because it was forty five year old there as opposed to like one hundred dollars here with a shortage. I also brought back like the super green variety, the delixur it look it's called, which is great. We're going to hang on to that. It fortunately does not give me heartburn. However, one thing that it's it's not really

Is shit or what happens? I don't really know.

The stomach in in general, it's just one of those things where you're like I need to. Oh no, it's stomach and shitting. Yeah, okay, but it's not like you swallow it and you ship right away with ice cream. It happens quickly like I need to. If I wanted ice cream really badly, I would have to like plan afterward.

Sometimes if I put human food near my dog's mouth, as he's like leaning into bite it, he farts.

His body getting ready.

His body is preprocessing that he's about to get human love.

Dogs They're awesome.

I'm gonna get it.

Let me get this out of the way. Now, let me pre fart.

You guys don't pre fart. Oh I do a pre post, preman and post fart. It's all part of the process. It's just constantly farting.

Anyway.

Now, thank you for that.

I doubt you too want to talk abouts or heartburn, but I just want to read that because I want to.

I've never had heartburn.

What's it like?

I've got it. I don't get it a lot, which is surprising considering how much garbage I eat.

It's like when you get it though, yeah, like bliody, It's just.

There's something very concerning anytime there is a feeling in your like like under your stern, you know, like where that's where my heart goes. That's a very scary way, whether it's a gas bubble or heartburn or something.

Yeah, mine, mine, I get like acid reflux or I have gotten acid reflux like twice in my life, and it fucking sucked, and I feel I don't even remember. I don't think it was a matter of meat like acid. Yes it does. It feels like stomach bile is just kind of like gurgling in your throat a little too much and you have to keep.

Swallowing to bubbly and hot, and it just feel the esophag is filled with this like bubbly. Yeah, it's not good.

I don't even remember what like, I have not gotten it in the last four years for some reason. I think maybe I had just been sick and then I went back to like drinking too quickly. I really don't know. But I feel for people who get it a lot, because holy shit, I would meet I would. I understand why people make a lot of money selling medicine for it.

I will get it where It's like, you know, I've eaten so much fast food in my life, but like, you know, if I got a big ass thing in Taco bell on Friday and had some leftovers the next morning. I'd be fine. But sometimes I'll do, you know, to steal a phrase from Lucy James a rat weekend where it's like I'm just bang bang bang, just tacobout McDonald's pizza Hut, or you know, like I'm on the road

Like your body will tell you you go days without drinking water.

No, no, no, no no. But I mean like your body will just clearly just be like we need stuff that's good for us.

Dan doesn't drink water, and then one day a year he basically chugs like eight gallons.

You know right now, Prime, that's not water. Yes, they're both water.

There's no hydration and Prime, you are drinking chemicals.

No, there is Look, say what you wild up, Prime? The taste or whatever it is water, it is hydration.

It's not water.

Okay, Gatorai hydration. Does gatorid hydrate you?

Is? Uh? Yes, Gatorade hydration hydration.

I don't know. I've never had a red Bull. I don't know anything about that. Prime is it does hydrate. It's like a sportsdrink. It's no different than like a Gatorade or something in that way. It's coconut water and like electrolytes and shit, wait wait wait dan.

Every time I search Prime, a new lawsuit comes up. The the US Olympic Committee sued Logan Paul's Prime Energy drink over Oh this is a copyright.

Yeah, that's fine. Copyright can't get you sick. Wait's hydration thing and so liquid death. There's just water. It's Seltzer water. That's not hydration. That's not water.

It has seltz hydra. What does Seltzer does not hydrate you? All that much liquid depth is water. It's just we're so hydrating. It doesn't hydrate you as much as water.

I also drink a lot of just like shoot water, real water, you know, like.

Yes, no, yeah, Seltzer. Seltzer will hydrate you. You have to just drink more of it because it's so much of Seltzer is just air.

I am, for the first time in my life drinking more water and then also seltzer and hydration drinks than I am soda. You know, my entire life until now, I've drank way more soda than water, and lately, I know sometimes it's in the form of a liquid death or a prime or something. Frequently I'd say I drink more just normal ass tap water than anything.

What the story you just told though, did not paint this picture at all. What part you're just saying, like how your body has to remind you after.

On a rat weekend. On a rat weekend, I know.

Yeah.

And then sometimes I'll super hydrate. I'll throw a liquid IV or something into a bottle of water. I had one of those before this podcast here because I know I'd be drinking. I'm good at hydration. You don't even tell me about hydration hydra than you.

I highly doubt that. How muchast like probably a gallon and a half, two gallons.

I've had, like three, No you haven't, I have? Uh wow, Mary's got three Lacroix. Lacroix is good too. I love the seltzer, or as we call it water, The la Croix every bit as water as liquid Death is.

You were await, okay, yes, no, no, no, I don't.

I don't know, like if the water contents equivalent, Liquid Death only has sugar that Lacroix does not have.

It has like a gram in one of those big ass cans.

That's more than Lacroix. So I was right.

No sugar like a spin dript. It's like, you know, it's like a spin dripped.

Sugars from the juice though, or from the fruits. I'm pretty sure liquid deaths sugar is artificial stuff, whereas spin drift is actual, the like sugar from natural fruits that they add the juice in.

I should this up, Dan, I.

Can't believe you're arguing about water.

Let me see what blueberry buzz saw liquid death. Let me see what that has, or green guillotine, slaughterberry, grim leaper, rest and peach. Let's see.

I love liquid Death. I don't like stock up on it, but when I'm at like game studios, I have it. I chug it.

Do you have that now?

Yes? Something like the West.

Coast stock nice, very nice.

I like the mango a lot.

That's the mango chainsaw. That's I had that I was on a road dripped. I just randomly grabbed it off the shelf pedagas station. I was like, oh shit, this stuff is really good.

It's good.

Yeah, it's good.

Liquid Death. I'm just saying it's not not if you were drinking Lacroix. I would if you had to pick one that is healthier, fair enough, Lacroix by ultimately drink water.

Just but between if I'm having liquid death and lieu of a starry or a fantat or something, it's a step up right.

Oh yes, for sure.

Ok.

I was never arguing that. I was saying, like, spin drift has sugar, but spin drift sugar I believe is mostly from the actual like natural sugars from the fruit.

Fair enough. And also settle this because I know Mike McNaught's listening. We've been yelling at each other at Liquid Death on Giant Bomb as well. Manati thinks he keeps calling like affliction water ed hardy water stuff like that. He thinks it's un ironic the branding. It's it's clearly ironic like that. There's interviews with the CEO where's like we wanted to come up with a dumb ass name. It's just water. We call it death. That's fucking stupid.

No, it's absolutely self aware that the CEO is like the There have been studies about how good the branding is for it and like how self aware it is. They they they nailed it, but no, they're not trying to be like they don't think it's cool. Like look at the names of them. It's they're all puns.

Yes, they're clearly supposed to be stupid. Yes, yeah, what do you think of that match? I do think Dan is probably right.

Thanks went through my entire part.

For a time. Do you want to hear one?

What's the next email?

Uh? Mary? You want to read this one? Dick Mary? Do you want to read this one?

Very happy to read that email. I was not being rude to you, Hi fire Escape. Common pain point for the gaming press.

Is the no no no no, no no one about that from the one I had highlighted the secondary.

You know I can't read hi scrapers skapers.

Let me sc now. Dan got his sight as a scrape we're all scrapers.

Hi skapers. I also played Ocarina of Time for the first time on three DS a few years ago and thought it was fantastic. I really saw why it was a big deal at the time. It's actually the only actual Zelda I've beaten, though I've played parts of other handheld titles beforehand, and if anything, I have negative nostalgia towards the N sixty four, having never owned one but

Yeah. This was a response to the Toronto. The subject line was Wes is wrong, because Wes had told us he finally went back to a Karna and said it didn't hold up last episode.

So this is the opposite one of you didn't like it, so you went back to no no, something you didn't even play.

Ogin missed, and then you went back and you loved it.

I would say, you know, I've mentioned before, like the stuff like the PS two era where I was too much of an adult to play Kodie games, and like stuff that I went back to with like Sly Cooper, Ratchet and playing Jack and Daxter. It turns out those

Yeah, I don't think it holds up perfectly, but I absolutely understood the love for Final Fantasy six when I finally went back and played it in like two thousand and sixteen or whenever I played it, Like that was the first thing I played on this Nest Classic when I got it. I get white people like that, and I'm not really a Final Fantasy person, but I just was really into it at the time and I had no intention of playing it. But then I got this Nest Classic.

It was late to the Half Life train. I don't think I knew about Half Life, and I mean, it's already an old game, but I don't think I played it until like two thousand and eleven, twenty twelve, and that game came out way earlier than that, and it's.

The first one. Half Life two O two is four.

Yeah, and then I played Half Life and so I was kind of late to that series and that was super worth finding out about later. I didn't really know anything about it, but it turns out what a good game. Yeah, that's that's one that I just I just didn't know. I didn't know it was a thing.

Yeah, there's also well, Mary, you played all the resid Evils long after the fact, most of them long after the fact. Not too shabby, they didn't. I'm trying to remember the ones that you said you loved, like right after. I think you liked the first couple.

I loved remake lot. I liked two, and three was very stressful.

But I also three which series Nemesis Residevil. Oh yeah, that three one is pretty well anybody, that's that's the game where I'm like, I used to be that person who swore that Nemesis was my favorite resident Evil and like that it still holds up and everything. And I went back watching Mary play it again, and then even the remake of that I think was still far inferior. Remake. Resuable two remake is so fucking good. Yeah, anyway, Resuble three Nemesis, uh Code Veronica played zero zero is also

The series is all over the place. And then had the fact that they're all remade now too, and those all have varying levels of quality.

It's yeah, crazy of the remakes, they've got a good, pretty good track record with remake.

We got to get back into it, Mike. We still well, we still.

If you're talking the one remake, like oh two, yeah, that they're three for four with really good remakes. Yeah, oh shit, we do need to finish that. You're getting there. You're at the you're I think you're like that into the island. You did the first big fight on the island, so you're yeah, two hours in the end.

We we got to get we got to get that thing done.

We're close, but I don't know, I'm trying to remember anything else I went back to. It's like I get why people like this.

I never played Super Metroid until the WE Virtual Console, and it's like, oh, okay, I see why that's good.

Well, yeah, it's just the tough thing with games is that so much of it, Like a game can be good for many reasons. But like Corona Trigger I remember going back to and I liked it, but so many things, like games are really young still and they evolved really rapidly. They just don't age.

Well, did you play the DS one? No, because I didn't play it on SNS. But then I reviewed the DS one when it came out, like ooh, it'll quit your life stuff there.

I played on like yes three PlayStation Store or something.

I I like the DS one lot. I thought Crowner Trigger is one of the rare like old j RPGs. I was like, oh, I get it, Yeah this is good.

Oh I got it. Yeah. It was just like it's still I don't know, like finding my way through that world I didn't always feel like was as intuitive. But I don't know. Yeah, there's a bunch not all games, not all all games suck, but it's just like good others Ockering of Time is a nice two thousand and eleven Vina Tondonia from what I've always said, I know, I actually stole that from Dan. Dan, you want to read this last one from Arthur? Sure?

All right, High Fire Escape. A common pain point for the gaming press is they have to compare things that have nothing to do with one another. Since you're all experienced games press people, I thought you could navigate these fraught comparisons. Could all three of you say which one in each matchup is better than the other. Okay, let's go one of the time here, super Mario Brothers three versus cheese.

I mean you kind of have to have cheese.

I feel like a lot of these are that one's I feel like he geared some of these towards specific people. That feels very assaulting. Dan vibes, Oh no, it's the first one.

Cheese.

If it was Mario World versus cheese, I might go with Mario World. I love Mario Brothers Three, but I'm gonna go with cheese, right, So that's unanimous?

Yeah, cheese?

Okay. Next to the ability to breathe through your nose versus the ability to save your progress in video games, including we not limited to auto saves and cloud saves. I will say definitively, I prefer the ability to breathe through my nose.

Yeah, it's keep mind. Rather, this is what is better.

It is the ability to breathe through your nose. Yeah, don't know until they take it away. And holy shit, yes, I'm going.

With that, unless maybe it isn't what you rather now, Like the next one feels like it's geared toward me.

Sorry, wait, so okay, I guess I guess it's kind of both, right, I mean.

If you had to like eliminate the other one. That's not how he said, though, he said, could you say which of the three? Which of the ones in the matchup below are better?

But you can look at them the same way, which is like which one would you be more willing to live without? And it's like I gotta have cheese and I gotta be able to breathe through my nose. I just need those for quality of life, because even if I'm playing a game and I'm like, what a great game and I could save, if I can't fucking breathe, my life sucks.

Like which pick one and the other it's gone. He is out of the world eight hundred times.

I'm fine with that.

No, no, okay, I guess at this point.

Sure, yeah, you take it away now yeah, okay.

Sure yeah, breathe your nose, I guess. But then every game we play from here on out, you can't.

That's gonna suck.

But hey, you know putting but not limited to Okay, get good?

Okay, all right, Mary, where you also knows? Oh yes, I have Okay, so we've been unanimous the whole time here. Okay, Alex Garland's filmography versus being Warm, I'm gonna go with being Warm. I love Alex Garland, but like I don't know, like Dev's was. Okay, let me look up it. Like there was that Men movie. Okay, there's a movie that people didn't like. I haven't seen twenty eight whatever later.

I've seen twenty eight days later.

I have not later.

Is fucking He.

Didn't exactly stuff he wrote it.

He wrote that in Sunshine, and then he directed Annihilation, Amen Civil War recently fantastic. He uh, he wrote that.

I believe I don't think he directed count Okay, wow, okay, anyway, you gotta be warm. Yes, yeah, it's warm.

I love his movies. But uh.

Yeah, wow like being warm halfway and we're unanimous dogs versus having thumbs. It's ironic because dogs don't have thumbs.

I know I don't thumbs.

I can we get like medical intervention to get like a robot thumber.

You get a little metal boy on the end of it.

You don't do that, and my insurance covers it. I'm going with I'm keeping dogs.

Yeah, you have robotic dogs.

No, it's not the same, not the same.

How is it different than if you're replacing a thumb with a press.

Because you can just do this, but you can't.

There's gizmos out there.

No, they're not psycho.

I think they're I think your underestimate your ability to gettesched to a robot.

Well, even if that's true, like an actual, warm, fuzzy, living dog, that's that's the best thing out there, right.

I think we'll replicate dogs pretty soon.

I'm just being how fucking weird dogs are? Dogs are extremely weird.

Cats. I know what you're talking about.

Throw them out.

I would take dogs. Yeah, I'll go out the window your cats. You're gonna you just threaten to throw my cats out the window. Yeah, Mary, I will beat your fucking skull until it's a pulp under my foot. If you ever say that again, I swear to God this is not a fake threat. I will fucking end you. And then I will stare Seem on the face and say she's never coming back.

He doesn't exist. He's a robot. Because you went with thumbs, you piece of shit.

No, I didn't go with thumbs. I love dogs too, if we have If.

We have thumbs and no dogs, I'm coming for your cats.

Oh, I see what you're saying.

If I can't have my dog, you can't have your cat. That's what I'm saying. Sorry, is my thumb to squeeze out?

Zeus?

Yeah? I went from zero to eleven real quick there.

That was the most explicit death threat yet. And that's saying something.

I see what happened. If I were to eliminate dogs, you would come to my cats. I see. No, I don't want to liminate dogs. I was just like playing Devil's advocate. I love dogs. We're close to getting one, but like, oh, sorry, I got a cool down for a second, you're going to pass out? No, I agree, I can.

I want I want to keep dogs we're nanimous.

What do you know?

The next one?

All right?

Blood?

Any notes? I have both of them rated as five out of five on letterbox, and I'm very picky with my five out of five's on letterbox. It's mcgroeber. I love there will be Blood. That's one of the best new I've ever seen. I've seen there will be Blood once or twice. I have seen Macgoober over fifty times.

So this is where this This is where, like the the other one gets eliminated. Format doesn't really work because movies are like I think it's easier to give up there will be blood because you've already seen enough times. Groover is more watchable.

You don't need to see there will be blood again.

No I need.

This is what I'm saying. I'm gonna make it up. I think slightly more difficult. Imagine you've never seen either.

It's still magroo. Yeah, but how would you know because it's I had a ankling.

I love Macgoober a lot. But if if I'm just answering his question, I still think there will blood is better. I mean, that's apples and orages. That's why he did I know, But I still think if I had to pick one, I would still pick there will be blood.

I mean it's weird to say mcgoober brought me more joy because I don't think joy is the point that there will be blood at all.

Yeah, yeah, that's what. That's the point of that talking.

Cinema like mastery. It's pretty obvious what the answer is here. Yeah, but we're talking. There's something that has enriched my life so much for so long.

We don't watch there will be blood and hotel rooms during conferences.

It's true. I made marry to that in a hotel during a conference a couple months ago.

We did that at GDC or whatever it was, p s X or something back.

We've done as many times.

Yes, all right, here's a different one. Mcgroober or eyebrows mcgroo.

I buy a sharpie.

It's fine, I like it, bushy, I have my eyebrows. I don't lend you some eyebrow hair.

Why do you need them to keep? Give him a water out of your eyes?

Right?

Is that what that is?

I think so.

Looking cool for double unpundra, for being for being surprised.

I don't think when we evolved eyebrows were like, oh, it's for facial expressions or God, I mean they were.

Making facial expressions before they were speaking.

But it was a survival thing. I think it's keeping the rain out of your eyes when a saber two tigers coming after.

Your ass like pubes, or to keep your your bits warm, you get the right temperature to reproduce.

Oh is that it really?

But I don't know. I'm not a evolutionary palaeontologist or whatever you want to call them, but uh, yeah, I believe like you know how, Okay, you know how when it's cold, your balls shrink up and go closer you to body. Yes, it's because your testicles and the bit the stuff they're in needs to stay warm, so it goes close to your body.

Tust them in their man bodies are fucking nuts? Why do they put them out there? And it was it just too hot in there to be in there all the time.

I have no idea. Well, you wouldn't be able to put it in something else if it was in your body.

Why are our balls outside of our bodies? Is what I'm saying. Is just too warm in there?

Ask well, the sphere inside of us doesn't want to.

Have the orb merritt.

It's called the orb. You're just sounding ridiculous.

N't the balls just be in the ORB? I want all when I say organs, I want all organs to be in the ORB, including balls.

You've got your dead just floating around inside you.

I want my balls to be in my orb.

I hate this stuff that you're saying so much more in this episode because you're looking at me right in the eye.

I don't like it. I want my balls to be in my orb. Do you hear me?

Are they floating or they packed in there? Like? No?

No, no, no, they're not separate. They're not separate in the ORB system for human organs, it is. It's just the ORB. It's not like, oh, we crammed and intestine in there. Oh, here's a lung. Okay, it's just the ORB does all.

Here's where here's where the evolutionary benefits of the ORB falls short, because how would you use an ORB that's just inside you. That's one big thing to reproduce with another human.

You're you still have a dick. Okay, but balls, the balls are in the ORB. Don't get shot because if you get shot in the ORB, you're super fucked.

It kills everything that all your organs.

Got a shot and punctured. If they hit the orbits, it's a tective.

Of the orb. It's almost like the human body benefits specifically from having a separated or.

It's so complicated in there. You gotta go to all these different doctors. There's you gotta pancreas, you gotta have fucking gallbladder.

Or doctors out there.

There will be in this new future Dan, Dan with the ORB would be able to walk into a guy to college's office and be like, I have problems with my orb.

I'm assuming you know how it works, because you know how. It's removal. It's removal. You open up the chest, take the orb out, They knock you out, they do all whatever on the orbit. You're just you're you're in a tube somewhere in the chest.

But it could absolutely be in your butt.

Wait, I'm picturing the orb is huge because I'm picturing the mass of all the organ which is the same size. So like, it's not like a little baseball. Put my ass.

Necesarously put it. Put a baseball in Dan's ask.

Doctor do it.

I'm sick. Doctors put it in there.

Go to a proctologist to have stuff put in you no, let's.

Not be ridiculous. I think the ORB would have to be the size of all the organs put together, like in brain to brain and what's organs?

Okay, you're just describing like if you or your body was Mike Wazowski from Monsters, Inc. It would all be just the ORB and then a few limbs coming out of it.

You need the limbs because they do they walk and grab and stuff. And the heads if you just look all freaky if you didn't have a head. So we keep all that from the outside. Nothing's different if your brain is in the ORB, though, it's as aesthetics and also well seeing.

Are there tubes connected from the ORB to your eye? How's your eye? Yeah?

Yeah, no, we'rell don't be ridiculous, like you still got you got a tongue, you got eyes. You know, it's like that's all that's all connected to the ORB.

Because it's not okay, because yeah, I guess that makes.

They're up there. Eardrums are up there. Actually, if we tuck the ear drums into the ORB, then we don't have to worry about them being punctured. We just got to make sure you can hear through the ears.

I have a little a little wrinkle. I just thought of huh, so the eye tight. The tongue makes sense to not be in the orb because it's not an organ. It's a muscle, right, knows, ears, cartilage, sciences, whatever.

I think, face is pretty much you know what our.

Biggest organ is is our skin. So where would the skin be? Skin?

You're being ridiculous, Mike. The skin from the outside everything looks the same functionally inside, all organ functions are managed by the orb.

What is the definition of an organ? Because now I'm thinking, like, are my eyes an organ?

Probably? But again, look there are exceptions. The face stays pretty much.

The eyes organs, Yes, the eyes are sensory. Organs are the visual system. But why what defines an organ is something that could like performs it.

It's just in your body that does a thing.

An organ is a collection of tissues that work together to form a specific function. So wouldn't got it.

I'm thinking too much about the human body because I have one in in one right now?

Is the tongue an organ? The tongue is a muscular organ. Okay, I stand corrected, it.

Is both, but it could have like a long stick going into the orb.

It's like a lung.

It's like a ker like you know, Frank is down there.

You gotta keep in mind, like if you look at an actual cross station of the orb, it actually looks more like a Catamari ball of organs and like stuff jetting out of it.

Yeah, could you guys dissect al pellets in science class and frogs? Okay? I think I was telling Bunk about this and she didn't know about the alpellet thing, and she's like, what is it? And I was like, I don't know what was the alpellet?

It was a way to reconstruct an animal through bones because owls it was poop eat mice, and an owl pellet is poop.

No, that was owl excrement.

Excrement okay, because it's very dry, and then when you broke it apart, you get all the bones and you could put together a mouse.

But how do they know that the droppings they picked up? Would they like inspect them first and then say, oh, there's a dead mouse.

And it's just like natural that the owls diet is like ninety percent mice. And what's interesting is like sometimes someone would get two like skulls, and somebody else would get like no, uh, like leg bones and they'd be like, oh, can I have like one of your skulls And I'll give you one of my leg bones. Because it all evened out in the end.

You put the poop through like an airport metal detectors or like the body scan thing, just to make sure there's a whole skeleton in there. Yeah, that's the mouse. Yeah.

The next Alex Garland movie is going to be about a guy, a kid who's dissecting owl pellets and then puts the skeleton together and it's just a mini version of him.

Oh yeah, wow, I think that's tiny eye shrunk.

And then he looks out the window and there's an owl dun dun dum.

And then he and then he dissects the stomach of many him and there's many his father.

I think the title of this dome would be who oh.

Oh that's good.

And actually I can hear the soundtrack too that starts it off. It's like very ethereal, it's like and then Oscar Isaac leading from the mouth, is rushed to the hospital and then Natalie Portman discovers that her husband's dead.

And then you're just describing a different movie.

The shimmery Dome is over southern Florida the swamp, and then Jennifer Jason Lee says, we don't know what it is, but we're going in. And then Tessa Thompson's there, and then Gina Rodriguez is there, and then there's a crocodile, and then there's a bear that eats screams.

And then an orb Man.

You're making me want to watch that again.

That's a cool and watch it the other night. Yeah. I keep trying to get a man to watch it. But then she's like, all right, show me the trailer again, and she does not like horror.

It's a type of horror.

It's the it's the scene they find from Oscar Isaac squad that can fuck with peoples all like they go crazy together. They go crazy together, and they all agree to cut open his stomach. Then they see the stuff moving in it. Yeah, and they look back at the camera. They're like, see, it's just orb man.

The movie's fucking cool.

I know, I love it. Tessa Thompson just becomes a bush yeah yeah, and uh Netlie Portman almost bangs herself at the end.

And you don't just describing this if you hadn't seen the movies. What the is this movie?

Yeah, it's really good. It's the best movie ever made.

Well, thank you, cheese, cheese.

I'd still the.

Cheese mcgruber or both of your pinky fingers.

If if I say, okay, well you can get by without pinkies, right, I'm doing. Look, I love its parriage. I'm going I'm going fingers wow. But in this scenario, I'm assuming it's like it's not that I never saw mcgroober, it's that just like I'm done seeing it, it doesn't exist anymore.

And like fifteen minutes ago, no no, no.

No, Dan, here's here's here's here's the thing. Would you want to continue having pinkies? However, you have to erase all memory of mcgroober from your head ever having seen it.

I wouldn't. I wouldn't know what I was missing. But that is a sad thing to think about. But yeah, you know that there's a there's a void, there's.

A basic premise of the movie, and you know that it was like a central aspect you life, but it just doesn't exist.

It'd be sad, But I think I do need all my fingers.

I think I'm just describing like the death of a loved one is orb.

There's no way ORB is a desirable thing.

It's indifferent.

We want the orb.

We do not want the orb. You want the orb.

It simplifies things.

It does it makes you more killable.

It does do that. Okay, how about this, how about this, here's a bonus for it.

Like a paper cut in the ORB could take you out.

Mary. Let me tell you on this. The orb is bullet and stab proof.

What kind of ethereal sack is this? This doesn't make any sense.

I'm just saying I don't know the science behind it. I'm not an ORB doctor. We've got plenty of those. Now you cannot because they can't puncture it. It's got to laugh. It's like, you know, like the luggage that has the t S lock on it. It's got bad.

But doctors from outer wilds, like, yeah, what if they have to drain your the part of no Floods.

Dead, doctors have the tsa code for your orb.

Okay, watching in the.

Last one of my favorites, what number was this? One?

Eight six eighty six? This episode if you know Jay cut the part where I like violently threatened Mary. We'll get rid of that cut that No.

That's our social that's our social clip, and don't give any context.

I thought Mary was just out of nowhere threatening to throw one of my cats out the window, to which I usually respond pretty violently. And then I was like, oh, I see you're saying if I got rid of dogs.

She was answering the question we were asking.

I would just took it as a random act of like three, why did you what you say? I really went into merry mode against a Jersey mom there for a second. Is that what you feel like?

Every time that happens, every once in a while, you just kind of want to kill them.

One of my casts right here, she's licking her ass.

Right now, she's she's fine, get that or honey.

Is the butthole? And organ?

Google is the anus?

Is the anus? Thank you? Is the in organ? Yes? Wow? Oh it's considered part of the digestives.

Is it part of the rectum?

No?

But just a cavern for poop At fire Escape Calves dot com. It is on our socials. You can get merch uh fire escape cast dot com. If you go to patreon on dot com slash fire escape you can find where our merch is Uh, we absolutely would love to see you rock in our fire Escape t shirts. We even have a tip jar on our Patreon if you guys just want to throw us a dollar. You don't have to, but I just wanted to mention that too.

I think we forgot to turn that sale off. It's still probably that stuff is still on sale.

I think automatically summer.

Oh never mind, No, if you automatically, okays.

It is still summer, but the.

Sale it won't end. My god. And yeah, as usual, if you want the ad free or video versions of the show, you can go to Patreon that is fire Escape cast dot com, or just go to Patreon search for us Patreon dot com slash fire Escape and you can just treat it as a tip jar if you want, or like I said, unlock those other two versions. I know we want to do some sort of bonus episode soon.

Yes we do.

It's been a while we were I was gonna say we're sort of done traveling for a bit, but Dan, we're traveling soon. Yeah, but we got a little bit of a gap, so try Uh, Dan, what do you have going on.

Dot com? Check it out. Plenty of fun stuff going on Blake Club, my favorite thing we're doing over there. Check it out. Got Jeff Grubb playing Diakatana having a great time with it, So check that out on the YouTube, Mary, what about you?

Twitch stuff usually streaming on Mondays on twitch dot tv slash Mary Kish come join.

Me, sweet, what about you?

Uh? Nothing like public facing playing games, but it's all for for day job stuff. Now, trying to think what I have coming up social life. I honestly have a fairly relaxed August, which is nice. It is the first month where I don't think I have knock on wood, any major plans outside of New York.

Ooh, if you're I should hang out with you in October. I'll be on the East Coast, so we should talk about that October.

I'm like barely you h But if I'm here, yes absolutely, I'm like away for a night in Texas in August, but that's it, like one night. But no October we have a wedding and then we're going to Hawaii for another wedding. And it's also our anniversary. Yeah.

I have back to back weddings in October, so yeah, look at us.

One in New York.

Yeah, one's in New York. One of them's in Connecticut.

Oh, so you'll be here twice or is it all one trip?

One trip?

Oh? Okay, I'm sure I'll overlap at some point because it's like it's October nineteenth onward.

Will be busy, well, chatd be good to see you sweet.

All right, that's our episode. Thanks for joining everybody. We'll be back in a couple of weeks, deeper into August. Hopefully i'll cool off by then. Hopefully I'll have played more games by then than I could talk about, not just Diablo. It's been fun.

Yeah, I got a list I love. Every time I leave this podcast, I have a list of games to check out, and I get lost in fanta Land at day and hinter p Dungeons of Hinterberg looking at me. So that sounds fun.

Panta Land.

All right, we'll see everybody in a couple of weeks. Thank you, b