Fire Escape Cast #46

Hello, everyone, ways noo jays, Welcome back to fire Escape Cast. It's episode forty six. I'm Mike, uh Dan, Mary? What's Gucci? Baby babies? Does Gucci mean good? An Italian? Uh? No, not an Italian? It's just what what does gucci? What does what's Gucci mean? Does it translate? It means what's good? What's good? Yeah? Okay, Gucci is more stylish. Oh well this I'll tell you

what's good. It's this Cabernet savignan from the Barrosa Valley. Oh nice, I don't know it is California. Uh probably, Yeah, that sounds about right. Should say on the bottle, what's Gucci? With Mary? Wow, it's got nauseous. They say we don't become our parents. But I really felt, I really felt Paul in that he does all the time. Yeah, what's what's Gucci? Mary? Um? I think like when somebody says something so out of touch, I can't respond in any other way besides

just a deep sighs, say that's what I do. I've been trying to figure out how to get my dad to stop doing this thing for like, probably almost a decade now. He calls it zip hopping, and he does he does. He zips his jacket up and down like and he like he does what he thinks rap is. So it's like he'll be like zipping and he'll be like, yo, my name is Paul Homie, and it's like it's dad, fucking stop and like I'm just told to dad, this is

not like fun gringey whatever, bad. This is just this sucks. Stop doing it. And he's done it around my friends and they've all been like,

Paul, you have to stop zip hoopping. And I mean there's just a a moment in time or we just we get off the cool train and it happens to all of us. Um, you guys know, I have some young people in my house right now, family members visiting, and um still yeah, I still have to I don't think so, but I know they know that I podcast, which they think is cool, but they don't listen to it nor do they partake. So there a while, yes, um get off. Yeah you remember that and you having to be on the

phone about it while you were in Connecticut. I have been busy. Um. So we have one still from Australia and she was telling me some Australian slang, um have you Yeah, you ever heard of it? Yeah? Okay, yeah have you heard of Yeah? What's that? Is? Like a type of person. I think the closest I could compare it to an American would be like a burnout, like a person who's kind of into drugs and a bit dicey and not super act like, not super active or helpful

in society. And then they wear and they wear like uh, name brand clothes, shockingly enough, like colored shirts that like polo shirts and shit like that. And um, she said, they always say stuff like, um, you got anything eatswa? And I was like, what's eatsua? And she was like, it means sweet, we're good. Pig Latin, that's just pig. Yeah. I think all of their slang pigs is pigs pigs Latin. Wait, what was the one we're talking about? That the shady

guys? Shit, No, this ruins our theory is I don't think so, I don't talk about I'm still absorbing all of the young people slang. But maybe it's just going back to pigs Latin. I don't think I've ever used slang. You have, of course you have. No, you said something is dope, that's slack. No, I don't even when I've said things are cool, Yes, that's slang, Like that's slang from the nineteen forties. I mean when I was in like high school and people were saying

things were tight. I've never once been like, that's tight. I've never said that. You never said sick. I don't think so. I think I've always had a slang no awesome as an actual word. I mean, not the way it's the difference. It's yeah, it's like it's tilted first. Well, I guess I guess that doesn't prevent it from being slit, Like Okay. Nowadays people say, uh, no cap, no caps, Yes they do no cap, yes, yeah, no cap. That just means like no, I'm not yeah for real, yeah, apparently did we

talk about this. It comes from like it's not caps. These are real grills on my sure teeth. And then people say bet yeah, like it's kind of the same thing, almost like like beat on it, Like yeah, I don't think I would ever feel comfortable saying slang. I remember when we were going over potential categories for Game of the Year, Mary, you added banger game of the Year, Yes, And I don't even think I can say I don't know like, I'm not comfortable saying slang. Ever,

you would have to say the category name for that. Dan, We're in Game of the Year discussions right now, say the category like you mean it all right? Our next category is banger game of the year. That's right, banger the name of the year banger. Hardly Now we're also slaps a song slaps. Yes, I never said that. I can't. I've never said that. No, Jake slang. I'm going to keep an eye out. I mean, I think Dan slang by default. I don't think I

say slang ever. Ever, even when I was young and could get away with it, I was never cool, So I never felt comfortable saying slang. You don't sling slang. You never slung it. I never slung the slang. Nothing's ever been tight, dude. I'm the hash slinging slasher when it comes to slang. Oh God, ask me, ask me my favorite what tell me? Tell me something to say, Hey, Mike, say that this tuna was good, this tuna was dank. Actually that could work.

Tuna gets pretty dank sometimes, don't do it? Never get excited about Actually, yeah, I can I believe that further slang. I just think that I've never been cool enough to say slang. I couldn't get away with it. I don't think that's you never call anything the dank mcpith. Well that based on this beginning of this podcast, I think it's probably fair to say that maybe we're not meant to say a bunch of slang if we do make our own cap all the time, and ironically that would be weird.

Yeah, it would be weird. I don't know it, no cap. I think we're old. No Poggers says genuinely. Slang is not Poggers. I don't think. I don't think Dan has se slang for it, No cap, no cap, I haven't bet trying to catch me. Try again, I'll try, can't do it. I'll try to catch you slinging. I think that when I'm watching twitch streams, I'm absorbing, like young youths say things that I cannot say. You you don't even think i'd see that say. I'm not even exposed to it, so I don't even think I

would know the proper context for it. Like I don't know any young people. I don't like watch Twitch streams of young people and looks like my sister. I think why when Kayla comes to town. She's a teacher. She teaches like high school students, so like I will ask her like, oh, what do the kids say these days? And she'll tell me that's how I learned about no cap and all that stuff. Um, but yeah, I just what I said. I asked them, I said, what do

the kids say these days? I learned about it at a bachelor party. One of our friends is a college professor, so he was hearing it from them, right, Yeah, I'm sure teachers are exposed to all or even parents are exposed to it all the time. I'm sure, but like parents are definitely exposed to it because they're always like, uh, you know, my children say this is bomb. I mean, oh, I used to say, I said to say something stuff was bomb. I've never done that.

Northeastern thing was wicked, using as an adjective wicked not not not like they do in or at least they did in England, but in like as Ah, I guess it'd be more of an my advert now it's like that's wicked good. Oh yeah, yeah, I just know that from like the Jimmy Fallon sketches or whatever. You know, Yeah, the only young people I know are my nephews, but they're like two in one, so they barely say dude, that thing is goo goo daddy. I know those kids

that are like two in one. And then the next youngest person I know is like Abby Russell, and she's like probably thirty five or something. At this point, did you guys see Avatar? Yes? That movie was right. No, I was just doing a baby cry. Oh we talked about I felt that joke in my loins and I said it at the same time. I could feel it. I could feel it. Uh. I thought we talked about Avatar last week. I think we did. Yeah we did. Yeah, I've still not seen it, but I think my writer's Guild

card gets me into movies really at certain locations. Wait, I write, I've written professionally for like fucking almost twenty years. I don't care. I don't think you could just join the union though. Oh it's a union thing, writer's guild. Yeah, I understand how that works. So what did you think it was? I don't anytime to join a guild. Pour jin guild so that he can get into free films. Theres nothing to do with helping society. Yeah, there's union dues. I don't fucking understand unions at

all. If I can just get a free if I can say I'm in the union and get a free movie card and not have to do anything or go to fucking meetings or paying whatever Writer's guild. Hello, dear writer's guild, it's can meet Dan, I wrote for years. Does this come with popcorn? Yeah? Look, seriously, if there's no drawbacks and I don't have to any fees or anything, yeah, they'll be in a writer union. People in the there are fees, it's a union. And also to

get a discount. That's ridiculous. There are plenty of other benefits to being in the union besides free movies. It sounds confusing. People fucking Carl Marks is rolling in his grave anti union, Dan Riker, don't understand they are I don't know. I've heard they're good. I heard they're why I have helped. Man. Why would I pay to be in a union when I can just see the movie, you know, stream it from home and bring popcorn in my pockets to save some cash. There's really no incentive. I

don't even don't look. I've had jobs NonStop, sometimes two at a time since I've been fourteen. I've never heard one talk of like, oh, we should do a union or we have a union. Am I just in industries that don't have unions or what. No, it's just by design. They don't want you fucking make it, dude, to make one, so they're not there to worry about me. Hey, Polygon dot COM's got plenty of reporting on unions and how they work and how you can form if you're

in game development. That sounds specifically using Oh my god, I um trying to think, uh hanging out. I went to the zoo for the first time in a long time. When was the last time you guys went to the zoo? Two thousand ten? Probably twenty nineteen or so. For me, went to the Bronx Zoo. Oh, that's not too far ago. Like so again, I would never go to the zoo, but we got these kids, and the kids are like, let's go to the zoo.

That's a good enough reason for me. And I saw polar bears and I thought it was kind of neat because the kids we were with had never seen bears before because they, I guess they don't have bears in Australia, So I thought that was kind of cool. Bears for the first we don't have biz then have fucking bears. No fucking bears. Were there windows for the underwater part, yes, and the bears were like jumping off the rocks and

like fighting underwater. They like play with booies underwater. They're due, they were being over stuff. It was actually it was quite exhilarating. I'm gonna say, for like my first zoo trip in a while, I was like, this is amazing. I'm getting very close to these bear That's awesome. I was growing up. I feel like a good seventy percent of the time I went to the zoo, you would like go to like an exhibit side of about and where the sleeping order is not even visible. They're like back

behind it a little bit of their ass. Yeah if you're lucky, Yeah, yeah, if you're lucky. I the So it was actually you know how when you hear a celebrity dies, it can hit you. Um. I when I was young, like third grade, went to the Central Park

Zoo with my family and Gus and Ida were the two polar bears. They were the couple and it was hilarious because one would be like sunbathing on a rock and then just like be very happy and lazily slide into the water on his back and then grab the booy, twist around and start throwing it and messing with his wife or whatever they call them. Bear speak me. No, I mean like messing with his mate. Sorry, not his wife, okay um. And then like ten years later, like legally if you had

a bear minister, the baby bearer, ring bearer. Yeah, but but we like heard ten years later when Gus died, and it was soul wrenching because I saw him again later. They lived for a while, polar bears. How they love, they live, they get married. It's like more than twenty years they can live. I saw The Revenant for the first time, and man, I know bears were scary, but the old boy that scene was bad bears, and I didn't really the whole movie was based on

a bear. Like basically everything happens to that movie is based on a bear attack. Yeah, they got a key witnesses from bears to make that film. It as close to reality as possible. Polars kind of lived twenty five to thirty years. Tom, I'm already awesome. Yea. Every time I see him at anything, I'm like, that guy's fucking good at this And did you hear abinding he showed up at a fucking like jiujits to tournament and just one yeah he won. Well, I mean he was prepo. That

is that guy like just the coolest dude? Yeah, I hope there's nothing like tremendously problematic but him that I don't know about. But no, I mean it must be the coolest dude. If this week's any indication, pretty much everybody is. But uh no, he's I mean he practiced a fair amount before he showed up at the tournament. Well, yeah, I didn't just show up it it was his first time like kicking somebody, that'd be funny. He seems cool from what from from outside? But uh yeah he's

really good and everything mad Max you see Bronson, Yeah he's creep. He's scary and Bronson, Oh yeah, well, and also didn't he have like he guys like his sort of personal history, like he's gotten, he's gone through some shit and like I think that comes through and like you know, his his art, yeah, his when he did Uh did you see Warrior I'm Am movie with him and Joel Edgerton are brothers I believe Nick Nolty was

their dad should watch that it was. I think it's good. I liked it when I saw it when I was like fifteen, So I guess that doesn't mean anything. But his workout he was doing for it, and I believe he did a similar workout when he was becoming when he was doing Vain is just basically training his body to at any point in the day, no matter where he is, be ready to like work out. So that's how I live my life too. I would be always ready to fight a bear.

That's how I work out. I don't know if he would like set an alarm that would go off randomly and no matter where he was, he would have to do like two hundred push ups or something. But that was my god, it sounds like there's the gist of it that's not good for you. See he seems to be doing all right. I guess, yeah, he looks fine. I think we've learned people who look good on the outside are perfect on the inside. Yeah, there's nothing going on in there.

Never any professional wrestlers with troubles, no athletes that have problems with journalists, YouTubers never know. I might be my favorite like modern modern actor. As far as like under fifty, I would say Tom Halrdy's probably about that. I'd probably say like Gary Oldman, Jack Nicholson or probably my all time, but like modern ish, I would say Tom Hardy's probably number one in terms of like everything. I see him and he's awesome. I'm on the

the Shallow May bandwagon. I don't think I've seen Dune. I think that's the only thing I've seen him. He's young though, he's a little baby boy. But yeah, we're talking modern actress. He's probably as big as you get right now, Who's like, uh, I want to see bones and all? When he's a cannibal with another cannibal going on a road trip just as it looks good. Well, it's Luca Guadagnino, who directed Uh, Call Me by Your Name and the remake of Suspiria. Have you seen

Suspiria the newer version from twenty nineteen eighteen? Holy shit, really good horror movie from the shallow tradition. I love horror movies. I've been seeing a lot more of him recently. I'm really eyeing Megan. It actually looks quite good. Hear a good thing, Keep hearing people talk about it. I've just I've only seen the trailers, so I don't really know like what the

whole gist is. I know, it's like we're just talking about AI and like, how fucking crazy it is, like the concept of like so it starts off looking like a Black Mirror episode where it's like, I got you a robot because you don't have any friends and you're a loser, and so she befriends this robot, and then the robots like, now I'm too protective

of you, and I'm going to kill everyone. But the reviews and the things I've heard make it sound like it gets a bit deeper than that, which is what intrigues me, because I've already seen the story of like Robots Bad Well, the Simpsons with the Krusty Doll, the Triot Simpsons did it, Yeah, the Evil Switch? Yeah, of course. We watched I Love You, So you have it set to evil. We watched the Menu. I saw that too. It's good too. I loved it. No

spoilers. I just like there was a certain point in that movie around maybe the halfway mark, where I was like, Oh, they're gonna get dark with this, Like I already had like dark tones. We went and totally blind to it. We just heard people say it was good, so we watched it and it's like there's a point like halfway through it's like, oh, fuck, all right, and then it just keeps with that darkness throughout

and it's it's I think it's a perfect tone for a dark comedy. I don't like the comedies that are constantly like winking at the camera and stuff like this. This was just pitch black the whole way through. Yeah, speaking of Max's funny Nicholas Holt, the foodie like obsessive. My favorite scene he played in Mad Max. He was the war boy who sided with him. Oh it's a lovely day. Uh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I thought. Interesting. You can see it in his face. I like

when he's cooking and they're like, what do you want? What do you want? And he goes, she shit, you want some shit. I don't know why. That's my favorite line in the whole film. I think it's so funny that they try and offer this guy shit to cook with. I don't care if um that's very specific. I think it's a hilarious line. I was setting for a movie like that, like a prefix like multi

chorus, like super high crust thing like everyone you know. Yeah, well did you see that Noma just closed like several days ago, like after the movie came out. I don't think it was related Noma. It's the restaurant, like the kind of restaurant was parodying, Like they source every ingredient from nearby. They're always doing the um, someone always dies. It got Yeah, it got the best restaurant in the world twice, like ten years ago. They just the chef closed it, and it was like, yeah,

I'm just gonna focus. It's just way too intense to all this. Sure, Yeah, but it's funny because that happened like two days after we watched the movie. Um, but yeah, I like the menu. What else

would we watched this place? Rules? Speaking of people that yeah, speaking of people sits come out about also, Like I'm not just saying it because of the news, but like parts of that movie, there was that one reveal towards the end, it was like, holy shit, that was ohs to confront the guy with that, Yeah, just a complete lack of just

any kind of like understanding of what he did. Like, yeah, the guy that was confronted, Yeah, I think when the movie tries when Andrew Callahan in the movie tried to like actually offer criticism about and I'm not saying the media's examp from criticism whatsoever, but like his take on it was a bit vanilla and like we've been saying similar things for years. And also it's kind of like pointing at everybody and blaming everybody, Like at a certain point,

what is your point? Yeah, And I'm sure there's you know, plenty of critic I haven't read a lot of like you know, how people react to whatever, But just watching it, I felt like, now you're really giving a lot of time to like yucking it up with Alex Jones and

stuff, and it's kind of I don't know. Yeah, the workout scene is hard to watch because there's almost no way to like really process that, and a lot of his like strong fans will essentially be like, yeah, he's warming him up, he's warming him up, He's showing how like crazy is, and it's like, I don't need to see that. I actually don't need to see Alex Jones being cool. I don't need to see him being relatable. I don't need to see him being crazy. I don't need

to see him talking about his crazy conspiracy theories. I don't will fucking know him. I don't want to see his face. I don't want to hear his name. I don't even really talking about him right now. I think he should die, like in conversation, and like it sucks. It sucks that he's like discussed, so to like have that be such a focal port of the documentary where it's like, we already know this guy sucks. What are you proving I've already figured this guy out, like cover someone else that

sucks. There's a lot of unknown shitty people in the world. Discover one of those. Yeah, I think that the movie inadvertently did discover a shitty person. Yea, but a twisting merchant stuff when it went on sale like a few weeks ago and it was on the way and then the allegations came out and I looked at all this stuff. I like, I sent them an email being like, hey, I'm not going to wear this or display this or like I'm not going to do that, so I need a refund,

and they didn't get back to me. So, yeah, get back to him. What do you good? Will you throw away? What do you like, I don't know, that's the Seinfeld skit when they're trying to get rid of the muffin bottoms, when they're doing the top of the muffins, Like even the homeless shelters don't want the muffin bottoms. Even the homeless shelters don't want Channel five shite. Even Yeah, what else do we watch? We watched a bunch. There's a movie. I don't know, come

back to it. But I'm showing a man to Deadwood for the first time. Oh nice. We watched first seasons recently. Yeah, I think she's liking it so far. It's really Good's Slowburn. I don't know what it is about that show, but three times now, both when it initially aired and then when I was going through it again years later, and then when me and Bonk were going through it. Every single time I've wanted to see what happens in season three. And I've gotten like three episodes into season three,

and I don't dislike it. I just have fallen off every single time I've seen the movie. I know everything that happens with Hurst and all that stuff, but like, I just haven't made it through that third season,

even though I've tried three times now. Yeah, it's such a slow burn that it's kind of if it's easy to lose track of all the different subplots that are building between like twelve different characters at any one time, like Game of Thrones cuts between people, but Deadwood, it's like someone will enter a scene, talk to two people and be like, oh shit, they just set up several sup loot and then he'll leave and then these two people set

one more thing up. You don't really realize like how many fuses it's lighting until it all explodes at once. Well, when it does explode, there's that one scene in season one with side Holliver and Kristen bell Or it's just like, oh Jesus, like when that show blows up, it blows it, or like some drag out fight. I think it's at the beginning of season two when Bullock and Sweringeon fight. It's just like, oh, I mean it goes for it when it when it is, Oh yeah, it's

great, it's great. Yeah. We're at the point now where Dan just killed the guy from New York, threw him off the cliff. I just started early were like, I just said Dan in Steinfeld yep, who was he that? Um? I recognized his face for sure? Who was I can't remember. It was like a season it's like a season four. So Charlie Utter is the cab driver from the Puerto Rican Day Parade. I haven't gotten to that yet. I haven't. There's a lot of Seinfeld people in

there. Well, it's funny because Si tolliver Is plays wild Bill in Tombstone. But that's like a villainous take on wild Bill, right right, And wild Bill is like kind of that powers booth. Yeah, yeah, powered with is awesome. And Colonel Faith Colonel Faith, Yeah, dead and sucks. He's yeah, like five years ago something, many years ago. He was before the mcgrumer show started filming. Yeah, okay, yeah, we've been watching a lot. Um then will you stop me if you've already heard

me talk about this? Did I tell you guys about Old Enough, the show where they make three year olds do chores the Japanese? Yes, I watched it again this week and it's so fucking good. I like have to I have to convince you guys to watch it. I'm like losing my mind. Sounded really cute when we're talking. I think I'm I think I'm going nuts over it. It's so innocently good. Um, they like keep doing

it. I'm watching the new season on Netflix, and it actually goes back in time because I think that Old Enough was recorded in the nineties, and what happened was this show sees them like seventeen years later, and then it's like, look at this, Remember that when that three year old couldn't get yaka sooba because he was too scared and cried and shit his fans. Here he is now working at the deli, and they like, they can do

it now. It's really good. They keep um. They go forward in time to show them what they're like now, and you get to see these children age and like become adults, and some of them they did an episode where like one of them now has kids and then said their kid on a task. So it was like a generational thing, which was really cute. But they make them do these little these like go on these like little tasks, and um, they sent this guy and a girl on one this week

that I watched. There's like three and three and a half. They give them like ten thousand yen and say go out and go get us some wood, which three year olds really can't carry, and so it's a boy and a girl and the boy gets the wood, and like halfway on the way back, he's like, I'm really tired, can you help me? And she goes show me how strong you are. It manipulates him like three years old, and he's like, I got it, and carries did the rest

of the way by himself. She's gonna she's probably running a corporation now, she's a manager. She's ahead of business. I think Old Enough is like one of my new favorite shows. It's like it's very innocent but has like all these like really wonderful attributes of like just growing up and like figuring something

out. When you're so young, you don't know nothing about the world besides the fact you like you love your mom and you love like a very certain thing to eat for dinner, like chicken nugs and other than that, they're like, I don't know if this is enough money. I don't know how stores work. I do not know what type of package you want me to buy. None of that stuff is like knowledge that they have. Yeah.

I have been considering at some point rewatching documental. It's really good. Yeah, I I can't believe like by the time they start introducing the zombie thing. I don't know the first two or three seasons there zombie thing where if you get out, you can come back in. He can if you hear a specific alarm. The guys who got out come back in his zombies and have props and just like and they're allowed to laugh, so they can just do shit. They just show their assholes, like the an Olympics dude.

At one point, no joke the guy is basically he's he's pretending to give this one guy a massage and he's in a giant diaper and he starts he's all but giving him a hand job while they're watching to try to make them laugh. I won't spoil it. Oh fuck you mentioned massage reminded me that, so I the last week I pinched a nerve in my neck. It's the same one that gets fucking hurt all the time but sucks. Yeah, it's it's yeah, it's it could be worse. I mean, it's just

it's a temporary thing when it happens, but it really does hurt. So I was like, looking um medicine or anything. I'll take hyperprofen. I've got heat pads, ice pads all this. I got a tens machine, so I'm gonna be like electro like stem stuff. But I'm going to physical therapy now. Cabernett. Yeah, but I started going to physical therapy because a few days ago I was thinking like, well, okay, one thing that did help me in the past with this was a trigger point therapy where

they like taking these injections. There's nothing in this like syringe. It's just a literal needle and they put it into like a muscle, knot or whatever, and I don't know if it does something the blood flow or whatever, but it really like it helped me out in the past with that, and I was like, okay, well, let me let me just look for

that. So I was like, oh, maybe acupuncture. If I yeah, maybe if I went looked up like an acupuncturist, maybe I could go in and say, hey, my neck hurts, let's uh can we get that fixed up? So I look for one, I find one, and I drive there and I'm just like, yeah, okay, so my next fucked up. I know that I have like a physical you can feel the knots. I've got really bad knots here in my next She's like, all right, great, sit down, and instead of asking a single question about

my neck, she goes, all right, what's your mom's birthday? And I was like, uh, it's this, and she was okay, so that number so okay, well the seven is close to this. So the seven that's close to like a libret thing, so that's more than like okay, but them is this. And as she's doing, she's putting. She put needles in my ears, she put needles in my neck, she put them in my stomach. I'm just sitting there with no shirt on. She's doing all of shit and she's just not asking about my necks, Like,

Okay, what's your dad's birthday? I was like, it's this. It's like okay. So here's the thing about your dad. So your dad he's a real like go get him guy, he's a real piece of shit. Now you don't want to take a shirt for this one. She said, your dad is the type of guy that, like something needs getting done, he just gets done. He rolls up his sleeves. Something needs done in the garden, He's out there with a shovel, rolling up his sleeves,

just getting it. Meanwhile, I was sitting in there was like, no, my dad's toilet breaks and he's like, well I got one less toilet, like like he is the least. Get it done, guys, and your eyebrows and the ship. I am just sitting there filled with needles. Well, she's going on. It's like the guy in the rehearsal that's like talking about the scion numbers and all that stuff. She's spent like thirty minutes. She's being like, well, eleven, so my birthday is a six.

With my son, he's the CEO of this big company tech startups. He's a twenty seven, so he's like four times more potent than me, because, like you know, twenty seven is a lot more than eight, so he's a lot more potent in that sign than I am. And I'm just like, fuck, I just do something to my neck because none of these needles are made near my neck. Do something that's like and I think you should leave sketch. She starts stabbing with the needles and then you slowly

find out she's psychotic. I know, and the physical therapy place and my insurance covers it, Like what the fuck that suck? She's got needles in your tongue? Oh god, and I told him there's a therapy place about it, and they just started laughing. They was like, oh, that's I mean, there's definitely like huge range. My dad also just had a nerve in oh what is it called. Um, it's like the main nerve in your back, the sciatic nerve he had as yeah, yeah, and

so it gives you searing pain all throughout your body. And he went to an acupuncturist and he said he had a similar experience where like the acupuncturist was just like really kind of wiley and was like asking about like his emotional state and like you know, his vibe, and he was just like, listen, I have a medical issue. I I just wanted to fix me. Um. But I am curious of like if you think it is possible that

even getting acupuncture in other parts of your body can alleviate different parts. I mean that is things where it's been done for like fucking thousands of years, and some people swear by it, I know, like athletes and like wrestlers.

My sister who's had a history of like knee and foot problems when she's playing basketball, like she swears my acupuncture, you know, like a lot of people are like, yeah, it really helped me out, And that's kind of what I was hoping was, Like I always want the more like medical approach to these things that are like generally new agy, like even like meditation and yoga and stuff like that. Like I like yoga for the physical aspect. I can tell that I'm just a little more like flexible in limber,

and I just feel better when I'm doing yoga. I'm not I'm not thinking about chakras and shit like that, like when I'm meditating, I just think it's a good focused exercise. I think it's it's good on that front. I'm not doing the third eye chakra stuff or whatever. So it really is a crapshoot when you go into these fields that are like good chance you got some new age people that are just like into the super astrology bullshit or

whatever, and like that's I got unlucky with that first one. But yeah, I don't think the licensing is as strictly regulated as it turns rigorous a doctor, but it is not just about chiropractors, but like it's still not the same state. Granted, she went to a chiropractor too, and he told me it was like really stressful in there, just like a lot of

like wild people um in like the waiting room and stuff like that. And he was like really blown away by just the environment that he was in because he expected it to be like going to the doctor, but it wasn't. They had like you know, healing crystals and stuff in the you know, waiting room, and I think the whole thing really set the tone for him. He's probably like you, he was just like, I don't want I don't want those things. I would like you to look at me and fix

my muzzles. I think that I think chiropractors could really vary a lot too, because I know some people don't dress chiropractoring and stuff like that. But like, I think I've gotten lucky in that way. Whenever I've seen a chiropractor, it has been in a very like medical feeling setting, and like they were doing x rays and they're talking about my spine. There's like no

fucking crystals or astrology talk or anything like that. Like I'm not a doctor, but I've gone a chiropractor plenty of times and it's like feels good. Um, but yeah, it's I've never been to a chiropractor. I've always wanted to go. I've just never had anything wrong with me enough where it Warren's getting an adjustment. But I look at adjustment videos on TikTok of animals and I love it. I love watching dogs get chiropractice and horses. Can

you hear the like when they're adjusting and stuff? Can you can hear it? Okay, when it's happening in your own body, because like when they do like they do like a fucking solid snake head snapping, and you feel and hear you're fucking like neck, it's like crazy feeling, but it doesn't I see one's where he's like he's like petting the dog's neck and he's like getting it ready, and he like loosens them up, and then he's like kick and the and the dog's neck snaps, and their eyes are like what

the fuck was that? Because they don't know what's going on. They don't know we're getting adjustment. They just think maybe someone just like kind of snapped their neck and then and then they lick them thanks. They kind of have to do that with me, Like I got adjusted well as at the physical therapy place, and like they kind of hold your head and they're just kind of all right, just kind of relax here, just kind of like you know, they get you in a loose thing and then just right there and

then you lick them. Yeah yeah, yeah, I don't know why I had to do that. That's m Yeah. Imagine imagine being in a waiting room for a chiropractor and you see him come out of a room with a patient, just shuts the doors like whoops, and then goes about his day. It's like the room with a horse and comes to you and he's like next patient, one of the one of the secretary, one of the receptionists goes into when with a rolled up carpet comes out, it's a bit bigger.

Yeah. So I'm having fun stuff there with the neck. But hopefully my new physical therapy thing is gonna help out with that. I'm gonna go a few times a week and try to get that fixed up. I don't think good dogs physical therapy. This is simone show like signs of pain. He isn't showing signs of pain, but he's not picking up his back feet very well, and they're like dragging a little bit to the point where like I have to put shoes on him when we go for walks now, because

I don't want him scraping his feet too much. I think that it is typical of any dog that starts to have their hippies go. I think display dash until they have a big problem with that. Yeah they did huge show. Yeah back when he had a portillo. Get some issues of that. Yeah yeah. Um so I was thinking maybe like a dog physical therapist and she comes to my house and she gives him some dog massage and helps him

work on his little back leggies and hopefully get him back in action. I think it's very dog specific because like if you even pet Razor, he will around. It's like, you know, jump ten feetback. But you can like massage gizmo like a side hold gizmo upside down yeah in smick smack him and doesn't. If you like give him like a little like massage and sides, he will literally go like anything to give and gives would be like this

is fine. I hope gives will lived up to expectations. Now that you spent some time with one thousand percent, I had so sweet, so cuddly, like so ready to snoozle on my lap or like bury their little nose in my arm. It was super cute. Like I think we had a rapport even in the short amount of time I was there, because Gives would kind of see me from across the room, and I always lock eyes with

a dog. I do not avoid locking eyes with a dog. I will look right back at your dog and I will go, you want some some of this? And they will come right up to me. And Gives run right up to me. We had the same situation going on. I would put that dog any moment I could. It was great. He loved it, Thank you. I loved it. I had a great time. It was probably more beneficial for me instead of seeing a chiropractor when I have problems, I just then lay down and have a bunch of dogs will walk on

top of me dog therapy. I'll die young but happy, surrounded by dogs. His dog is like has a little doctor outfit on, and I'm like, listen, I think I am really sick. I'm coughing blood. And the dogs while we have a we have an appointment with the cat doctor pretty soon for who uh wait, what for which cat? You got? Three? Oh? No, we have an appointment with the cat doctor. How that cat became a doctor, is damn it? No, Actually, we do have him coming just for a routine check up for all three. Yeah,

this one daisy. If if you're the video version, you'd see the cutest one of the cutest fucking cats ever. She's, uh, what's she doing? She wants a high five? She is? Uh. There's been some weight fluctuations in a couple of the cats. I think it's normal, just winter winter weight gains or weird weight losses. But um, you calling the cops on them because they're fat. No, one of them lost like a pound point two in like three months, so it might just be because

they're more active in this apartment. But just getting a check up anyway, those are just key things for the doctor to look at. We got a new doctor house called doctor doctor, cat doctor, a doctor. They're just they're veterinarians, right, Like, are there specific like dog doctors and cat doctors? They're all that's correct. We typically call cat doctors veterinarian. No,

I'm saying there's we were calling it cat doctor for too long. I usually know how to They usually like would be well trained in most domestic things like jurisdiction. End Like okay, cat doctor, dog doctor. If you brought in like a sick kangaroo, could the veterinarian do a thing? They would probably say, I don't know anything about doctors, Like what if you have a sick kangaroo? Uh? There probably are kangaroo doctors in Australia specifically

for kangaroo or do or Australian that's also have kangaroos. As far as the jurisdiction, oh, you have to. You can't even get a license without being able to resuscitate a kangaroos. It's a box of joey. I've played teching. Yeah yeah, sorry sir, your qualifications are amazing and you aced your exam, but you can't take a hit. It's got a glass jaw. You can't make it. What's that bag? Boxing kangaroos is not a thing because it's a it's a hilarious visual. They bunch, But I mean

do they like is are there like kangaroo boxing matches? Like probably I'm like boxing, No, I'm forties or something. Did they have like Australian kangaroo bo Oh, there's got there must have been. Yeah, there's like Russell bears and shit and like Carney Ship in the US. You know, Yeah, now you've done, They've done, We've done. People have done worse with animals. Yeah, I mean what the Romans were fucking fighting lions and shit? Right, Yeah, the lions were eating Christians. Oh, it

wasn't like a fun gladiator thing. It was like they had it coming. Was it like a religious thing they would Yeah, like Christian slaves would get killed there for entertainment. Well, but Daniel, because Daniel from the Bible, Daniel in the lions den was the thing. They would give them like a little wooden sword and say good luck. But did they not have like fun like lion battles where it was just like like the way they do, not like, hey, we're gonna throw a guy in a pit and watch

them get eaten by lions. Was there like Mattador type stuff? Like I'm sure I don't think about matadors or if that's ruel or anything the matador stuff. Are they getting hurt? Like are they hurting the bulls? Yeah, the the actual bullfighting. They're they're jumping over them and stabbing them. They're putting a saber through there between their shoulder blades to kill them quickly. I didn't know they killed the bullshit. Oh the running of the bulls there's they

picked. I'm not sure what it's like nowadays, but I know, like, yeah, a mattador. I mean I thought if you go to like a bag thing, I thought it was just like dodging, like that's part of the dance of it. But at the end they put it through there. I don't know about anymore. Probably running in So I saw a bull riding competition in Portland. Um, that's something that I went and did this this last week. Weirdly enough, a friend the rodeo the same night as

my friend was in Portland. Oh okay. It's such a surreal experience because m my friend won these tickets through White Elephant, because this is not something I would typically ever go to, but they want it in a White Elephant gift exchange for Christmas, and it's just a really interesting experience. And so I thought I would like I would like to see it. I would like

to see what these are like, I'd like to see the environment. And as expected, it was packed, this huge place, like the same arena that you would see a giant hockey arena, but instead of ice, dirt and then bulls in Portland, Like that's crazy. Plain Kansas City all the time, and I can picture in Madison Square Gardener Portland. It travels, they travel the whole the whole thing travels around United States and it's pretty wild.

Everybody there was wearing uh you know, it was just like denim leather jackets with the m tasse little things coming out chaps. There was a lot of chaps there was. I didn't see any ass. There's not enough ass. I saw lots of cowboy hats and so much plaid and uh, it's crazy. Um. I didn't know anything about bull riding. I do not think it's good for the bulls. They did not seem like they enjoyed it. Did not like that aspect of it. Um, they get on a

bull, and the crazy thing was the scoring. I didn't know how they scored this, but uh, you get on a bull and then they let him out of his pen and you have to last eight seconds, and as long as you last eight seconds, they score it. And if you can't stay on eight seconds, then you just get nothing. And then I was you know what I mean, what's that, Mike? She suck it? Never last eight seconds? You know what I mean? That such a long time before eight seconds. Thank you for explaining. Yeah, wow, um,

that's what they say. The scoring is out of a hundred, and the guy who rides the bull gets fifty points and the bull gets fifty points. What if the bullets scored too, They like cash it in for like feed, and then they combine it to the hundred, And it's very difficult to get like a ninety year above. So it's like a lot of times like the dude will get like, I don't know who knows, like forty, but the bull also gets forty. Like you need that bull to hit

fifty. But is there like a bullet shop where they could trade, like like at the bowling alley when you're doing the arcade stuff something to bull off in the pen with like a trench. Cody opens with a bunch of wares. Yeah, just buying the like finger trap stuff. Yeah yeah, oh god, the fucking merchant. Okay, listen, my sister Kayle. We've talked about the four she's playing the Reside before. Now. Okay, I've told you about her ranking of it on stream. She doesn't hate Residente four,

but she thinks it's the third worst Resident Evil game. I don't think it's as good as people remember. I still think it's really good, but it's definitely not the third all of them so the only one she hasn't played now are five and six. She thinks the worst Resident Evil game is to remake. She thinks the second worst Resideaval Game one remake. The third worst is Resident Evil. Four. Yeah that's three are one and two remake and

four that's fucking insane. Those are wrote an argument for top three that she accidentally turned the list upside down and not realize it. And here's the thing. I keep quizzing her on this because I hate to eat their owne. They can think whatever they want. Anybody can think anything that's your Well, no, I didn't two and one because they were scary and they were like it was really it was really scary, and it was like, that's the point. Wait, but she hasn't played five and six. What are her

The one she likes Village is your favorite? Eight she likes seven. Okay, those are both good. Yeah, yeah, they're good. But it's just like I keep telling you're like, you realize you're saying that one in two remake are bad games. That's what she keeps saying. She keeps saying they. It was like, no, you just don't like games that scare you, and she's like, no, they're terrible, and what the No,

they're achieving their purpose of scare you. They are horror games. It's funny too, because Seven and Village both kind of go back to the puzzling aspects of the early ones that she also doesn't like. Seven's kind of like, you know, a traditional outside of the bridge, you get more information. I don't think I've enough to work with. Telling me that two Ramack sucks is not very indicative. Is it like the traversal? Is it like the puzzles? Is it the boss fights? I just need more to extrapolate

and why she's scary and she didn't get enough AMMO. That's that's not a good reason. I know. I know, And she listens to this podcast. Kayla, you're completely insane. We all disagree with you. Also, Resident Evil like the concept of limiting your AMMO so that you have to concern and use melee attacks is one of the best ways to make the player upset yacause it's like stressful game by design, you have to make very important decisions

about what you can take with you. I want to use the shotgun now, or do I want to save it for a hunter later on or something? Yeah, that's right. She will probably like six at this rate. That's thing. I think we're going to play five and six go up together. I think it's funny you say that, though, because I think that without Mike I would have probably disliked Resident Evil remake the original as well. And the reason I think that is because Mike was constantly like guiding me mentally

as well as just through the game. Like he would also be like, this is a very difficult part, which made me feel better when I died six times, or he would say, listen, you can use AMMO here, but I wouldn't because you're you're gonna need it in like ten minutes. And if I didn't have that like little advice here and there, I think

I would have suffered a lot more through that experience. It was very funny to have a guide that the early era of that show, I was actually helping you, yes, as opposed to what it later became when I was actively trying to fuck with you, like in to remake. They you know, when you're in the library, the floor the catwalk falls through, and I deliberately guided you to it, and then mister X was down there waiting for you. That was really fun for me. That was such a mean,

mean moment. But I think, like when I think back on the original game, I just don't think I would have had as much fun without you. I do think that a lot of times scary games are more fun with a friend to be scared with. It's just a more enjoyable experience.

Well, I really struggled with that first one, not the remake, but the like ninety six original, because like at that point in like, you know, I was twelve years old when I played it, and I hadn't played anything like that for so, like all the like adventure game elements of it, I was not, like I never played adventure games before, so

I didn't quite like the puzzles I struggled with. And also every game I ever played, if you see a bad guy, you just need to kill them, Like that's no if, Sander, but you just kill them. So many many times I tried to start that game as a kid, I just tried to kill every zombie and I would get to a point where I had no AMO and I was like, what the fuck do I do?

And so like just those concepts of not having to kill everything and those kind of like oh, this item mixes with this and you can put it on the lines head or whatever like that was just beyond me at the time. It wasn't until much later and I played the remake and I was like, oh, okay, all right, I feel like I can wrap my head around these concepts now sense. Yeah, they Yeah, I routinely want to go play resumele To remake. It's like I've been thinking about that late lead.

Yeah, it's very good. I'm not a fan of three remake as much, but I yeh think I'm just not a I'm also not a fan of Nemesis. Yeah, she likes three. She likes three remake better than four, one and two. Nemesis is fucking hard and you don't get enough bullets because it can be be killed. She's never played any of the originals. She played one, two and three remixers okay, and she liked I've left that out when I was listening before. She likes three a lot more

than one, two and four. I mean, I like, I think I don't want to put words in mouth I'm pretty sure three is one of Tamor's favorites really, so, like, I know it's got fans, but having watched it, yeah, cool concepts, but having and I used to be a big pundit for it too or not proponent, I suffered through three. Yeah, we almost lost our friendship over three. Did you play well? You must have played the original because the remix was now yet dude,

it was so gutting. There was this time I'll never forget because this is when we both still worked at Game Spot. I think I spent an entire episode dying and there was no progression. An hour and a half of trying to kill the nemesis and I couldn't do it. And by the end of the episode I am so defeated that Mike had to be like, you're doing fine, and I was like, fuck you, man, And then we ended the episode like I was broken. It broke the point where you're supposed

to kill it or was it a like escape it type situation? I was. I think it was to escape it, but Mike was encouraging me to kill it because you get benefits if you can kill it, Like you get a bunch of shit if you kill magnum attachment, I think at that point, but you kill it or is it just one of the things where it's like you beat in that fight. Yeah, yeah, I remember that.

That show was so fun. Resume before I still to this day. I think we talked about this on the show before, but people have made clip shows about it, montages, and it's the elevator, the big elevator scene and before when you're going up to the top of the turret in the castle and Mary her health was solo. You couldn't even see the color in the health bar and she was running out of AMMO. So all she had was

like three more red nine bullets and a flash bang. So I'm like, okay, I think you're almost to the top and there's these she had just round. I was kicked like four of the red robe guys, and I said, all you have to do is throw that flash bang at the ground. Make every bullet count. She's like okay. I was like, just make sure the flash bang hits the ground because you could throw it off the elevator if you're not careful. She's like okay, two, three, She

unpauses and just lobs it off the elevator. And it immediately. Yeah, that's pretty funny to watch. I loves before just aiming at the grounds here, it's awesome. They're really good. They blow up immediately. There's no like cooking union to do or anything. Yeah, it's very stressful in the moment, and I think in real life I would also struggle throwing a grenade

exactly where I'm supposed to. Have you already seen those videos of like training videos in the army where they're showing someone how to throw a grenade and they throw it against the wall and the guy's like, you idiot and like has to throw them over the bags of sand to save his life. Flash bangs or like the door closes too soon and then the whole swat team gets flash banged in the hallways. Grenadi technology, can you still do the cool guy

thing where you bite the pen here? I probably don't. They still look fairly Certainly they've changed since like Vietnam, but there's still I don't think. I don't know if they're like the M sixty sevens or whatever. You can you still buy a pin and then throw it. I believe the basic technology is still the same. Like in Tomorrow never dies, he does that thing where you pull the pin which primes it. But then as long as the lever on the side is held down, it won't blow up. But it's

still That's what cooking a grenade is. You pull the pin and then you hold the lever, so the countdown is happening, but then you throw it, and so the countdown is like three seconds fewer. So when tomorrow never dies, he puts in the jar, so the lever's held down, so no matter what, whenever the jar breaks, is going to blow open,

like contact grenade. I thinking tango in cash. He takes the grenade thing out, shoves it down a guy his pants like down by his dick, and then kicks him down a flight of stairs and he blows up dick first. And that's that's really a really cool thing to do. Yeah, the grenades are awesome. Yeah, I should do in the army, all right. They're scary though. You made a couple of leaps real quick. I just want to join the army long enough to throw grenade after biting it and

the far it's awesome. I'll go a wall immediately. Pro war, anti union, dan race, teether of those things. War seems bad. I've heard unions are good. I hey unions, and I love war. Right there, that's Nixon sympathizers war. Mom, there we go, let's throw somery. You guys want to talk about video games? Yeah? Yeah? Oh but hey, hey, first, first I'd like to say that, hey about sex. We're talking about the sex and it's all about confidence when

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word and you'll receive your first month of raging erections free. All right, let's talk about video games. Dann that Yes, you're a speed runner now, I hear. That's on the leaderboards. I am number seventy two in the world for Mike Dyson's punch Out. That's my thing. Just practice that now, I gotta I gotta do a lot more practice on Soda Popinski and Supermatch a Man, and could work on my ball bowl a little bit. But yeah, it's it's been a tremendously rewarding thing to do. I really

love it. I know I've brought it up before, but like I bring it up again because it's still the main thing I'm playing for Though the time, I was like deep in COVID sickness and like I could not fucking bring myself to like get out of bed to play anything. Like for all people talk about like, oh yeah, when you're sick, it's a great excuse to like play some games or binge Netflix or whatever. It's like, fuck, I didn't do any of that shit. No, especially fucking tight punch

Out or elden Ring. That's well, actually no, I did play a lot of elden Ring while I was sick. Um. Yeah, I'm like forty hours into this elden Ring play through and Faith play through. Yeah, Faith, and it's been awesome. It was it was Jake Decker that told me a Faith in Dex build would be fun, And I know I've brought it up before, but like now I'm much much deeper in and I don't

know what it is. Like I'm not cheating anything, I'm not using any like cheat engine stuff or anything, but all these like bosses and stuff that I grinded and grinded for and died and died and died like a lot of them, I'm just kind of one shotting now. And I don't know if it's just the build is way better, but you might know their moves a little bit more too, and you can like predict it a little bit. I don't know, because like I never got good enough with this game to

like even really recognize a lot of boss patterns or anything. I think I just have a much better build now because I remember the first time through, it felt like thirty percent of my playthrough was like going to that area and like Dragon Barrow and just like fucking farming those dragons over and over and over again, or going to this area and kay Lid with these dudes that are like a thousand rooms each, you know, and just like grinding and grinding

and grinding, and I haven't done any of that this time, and I am just trouncing everything. And like I never played Millennia the first time. It's the like notoriously hard boss and I'm going to do it this time.

I think I'm right there now. But god damn if it hasn't been a hell of a playthrough, and it's just I'm just still just marveling at everything it does and bombs playing through it again now too, And so it's just been a big topic of conversation in this house is just how unbelievably, just unbelievable the game is in every way. It's even without the wonder and the first time playing and you, oh hell use the map and all that, it's just fucking it's It's a real all timer. So elvan ring and punch

out. Those are the two things I've been doing once I have started feeling better. In the last few days, I've been backed my punch out practice and all that, and I've did a run right before here. Um, but the only new thing I've really played is a Vengeful Guardian Moon Writer, And I don't know if you guys have heard of that at all. Tell me, Yeah, it's it's the devisit did. It's a Brazilian developer, and they did Blazing Chrome, which seemed like a real love letter to like

contra hardcore, and it was awesome. It did a great job at kind of love letter to that. Uh, this is more like kind of Strider Shinobi sixteen bit ninja type stuff. It's it's very much in that vein and again they they nailed it, just like they did with Blazing Chrome. So one of those games. We're like kind of MegaMan style. You started out and you choose which level you want to go to and you can you know, each level has like a certain chip you can get or oh, this

one allows you to respond once with fIF percent health. This one shows you were a secret areas in the level are or this one gives you this or that um and you unlock these different weapons as you go. It's just extremely faithful, like Genesis Ninja game type thing. You're like, there's Ninja robot deal. It seems very short. I'm almost done with it. But it's just I'm a big sucker for a good, accurate, faithful nostalgia play for

like that era, and this is extremely that. So I've been enjoying that quite a bit. But that's pretty much. It just a lot of elden ring, a lot of punch Out and fucking around with Vengeful Guardian for punch Out. Yeah, what do you know offhand what the best time is? Yeah, Summoning Assault is number one, and so that's what's been so awesome.

It's like I'm in that discord and it's they are all awesome. So I'm in there talking with Summoning Assault and jader An a big gamer, and Zalard and all these guys that are like if anyone knows like the punch out community, these are like the top top guys. And it's crazy because like, I didn't know any of these guys before. I don't think any of them knew who I was, and they started popping up in my streams all the time. Now I'm anytime I see one of these guys streaming punch Out,

I just hop in and I'll watch. I'm like, fuck, I didn't know you do that with soda popinsky. Okay, I gotta start trying to work that in are Like, how the fuck did that happen? And so all of them are in my stream stuff kay three impact like a bunch of these guys. And I'm looking at the leader ward right now. So like the number one summoning sold has done a full run in fourteen minutes fifty

five seconds. That's number one. That just counts the fight time. That's not like you know, I have to worry about like buttoning through menus or dialogue or anything like that. I'm currently seventy two. I'm at thirty nine minutes twenty six seconds. Better than my never beating it. Yeah, I

mean it's better than a lot of people. Actually think it's very impressive, Dan, and it's something I didn't expect from you, But it does make sense that this would be something that you could fall into in what a great time. It's a g dq agdq will have a punch out section. I

think I'm pretty sure they do it on Sunday. So it's like a big time right now for people to be speed running games and celebrating speed running and what I've learned from like watching it, and I several times my tenure at Twitch, we've done speed running live streams where we just like invite a bunch of speed runners to just speed run games for fun, just to enjoy themselves. And the thing I always hear is it's the community. You basically like

watch it because it's interesting. Then you talk to someone about it and you're like, oh, I think I could do it. You play, everyone's stoked. Nobody's like jealous or like trying to like get you to quit. Everyone's just as stoked for you to like do it and beat the score. It's all about getting the best score, and everyone like universally gives a shit.

I think it sounds like a wonderful community. It feels like like a craps table where if someone's winning, everyone's winning, and it's like if somebody has a huge breakthrough and it's just like, holy fuck, I didn't know you can do that. On don flaenco too, everyone's like, oh, we got new tex So here's how you do it, and teaching each other and like there's an infectious nature to it. Like I've been surprised at how much people have enjoyed it when I've streamed it, and like one of my

odds, tickle Bits is now getting into it. He's never played punch Out in his life, and now he's full of fallen doing like speed run tactics and all this stuff. Jeff Grubb, you know, he's never beat Tyson and he loves the game. He's kind of where I was many years ago. We're gonna start a thing on Giant Bomb next week where I'm coaching him on how to be Tyson, and we'll see if he wants to go deeper

into the speed run stuff. Like there is a real infectious thing, like this game came out in the late eighties, and the fact that like there's a bunch of the youngsters are getting into it and everything and keeping the scene alive and everything. It's like, it's so cool to me that this game that I played in my friends basement when I was fucking five years old is here I am in almost forty and I'm more into it than ever now, and it's so good to look at things like So I'm looking at my times

right now. I've got like a running like document everything. My best time, the one that's seventy second in the world is I beat it in thirty nine minutes twenty six seconds. But I also track my best time overall. They're known as the gold splits in speed running on each fight. So if you add up all of the best times I've had on each individual fight, it's twenty seven minutes and seven seconds, So that's over twelve minutes faster.

And when we were talking about like my run was thirty nine minutes, that is huge. I would jump up the leader words quite a bit, and knowing that that's technically possible, all it takes is the right run. You know, if I just hit like some real good times on each one of them, I could shave ten twelve minutes off my time, jump up twenty

or thirty spots on the global leaderboards. That is so it's so fucking rewarding to just keep going and going into It's not it's a perfect speed run game too, because it's not like some game where you have to spend three or four hours and nail a million things like it's it's short if you fuck up your restart and it's it's not that much of a loss, and it's uh, I've dabbled with speed run stuff before, you know, with like Astro's Playerroom. I did a little bit of that stuff and White when it first

came out. Definitely tried to like really kind of you know, do as good as I could on that. But this is, without a doubt, the most rewarding I've found. And uh, I just want to it's great. Well, yeah, I'm like really excited for your journey. Um, I think that this month we're gonna go more into speed running because of AGDQ, and we're even going to interview some like top speed runners. Um, you know historically a twitch like Grand Poobar and other people who have like essentially

dedicated their lives to getting these really amazing scores. Not just not just getting the scores, but they're also like progressing the fact that this is like a very interesting culture, no different than being in the Olympics and being the fastest skier, Being the fastest person to me, like be super Mario Brothers too, is an incredible feat and it requires stamina, and it requires patience and dexterity and all these like incredible things. And so watching that unfold and giving

it the credit that it's due, I think is really interesting. So I'm right there with you. I think it's awesome. Yeah, it's like, like you know, you talk about like more traditional sports and things like that. Like obviously, I'm not like, I'm not an athlete athlete. I'm not like, you know, wearing out, Like I'm not injuring my hamstrings or anything doing this. But the amount of focus and genuine practice and memorization

and pattern recognition and reflexes and everything they go into it. It's because, like, again, I respect sports and everything. I've never been a big sports fan or anything, but I'm also not one of those guys like cool sports ball blah blah blah. No I get, I get white people are into it, but this is something that I feel like I can actually kind

of like I'm not going to be the best. I don't think I'm gonna be top ten in the world or anything like that, but like the fact that I can like compete on a level you know, at almost forty years old at this game that I've loved my entire life and see myself improving every time I do it, Like it is really addictive in the best way. And yeah, I don't think I'm anywhere near done with this I'm gonna keep

going. Yeah, it's awesome, and it's also something that you shouldn't be limited at, like unlike gymnastics, where it's like you don't see a lot of forty year old gymnasts because you literally have to, like you age out. You can't do that stuff forever, but you can probably play punch Out for many years to come, right, Like you can enjoy this, So you could, with a lot of practice and like patience and work, be in the top ten of punch Out. And I think that's a really cool

thing that you can work towards if you want to. Well, it's crazy. It's like someone who's for a long time loved meditation everything, Like it's the only time I've really felt like it almost feels healthy in a way that like, to do it at this level, you actually have to really fucking focus. You really have to know what's going on and look for the slightest little movement and you know, dodge out of the way the exact frame that

it starts doing this thing. It's it feels incredible. It feels good, Like when I'm done with a run of it, you know, even if I don't get anywhere near my personal best or anything. I just feel like, man, I just went through like some focus training for a while,

Like it is there R and punch out. Okay. Yeah, So it's like stuff where like Soda Popinski will typically do two hooks before he goes into uppercuts, and like you know, like let's say, for instance, you could do more damage when you're countering like the uppercuts and stuff, you can get fucked over where It's like, I can't believe it there was a fifty percent These numbers aren't accurate, but like there's a fifty percent chance it could

have done this. I can't believe it did eight rounds of hooks in a row before it went to the uppercuts, and then I had to just sit there and fucking do this dope ship for a while before I could do the real damage. So like you can get fucked over on RNG. So like there are those X factors and stuff like that, but then there are those

runs. Everything's going right and you're just countering everything the way you're supposed to, like frame perfect shit like, and there's so many things I've never done. I've never got around one TKO on Tyson. That's a huge thing. If I get around one TKO on Tyson, Like my best run right now is at five fifty eight on Tyson. If I could get around one TKO, I could get that under three. That would shave three minutes off my

time. Right, there's so much work I can do. I can look at this list and see all these fights, Like, okay, mister Samman, I really need to get around one TKO on don Flinco two. I need to work on Like it's there's so much work I can do, but I feel like I can do it now, and it's the more I've dived in, the more I've gotten out of it. I'm excited for your journey. I think that's very cool. I am a avid spectator of speed running.

I think it's fascinating. I love watching my favorite games get speed run. I love watching like classics like Zelda or Man just like anything that I would think is impossible, and watching people use glitches to break the game is really exciting and interesting as well. It's more fun when it's a game you know really well, like it's a game you've seen and you've played it a million times yourself in a certain way, and then you watch a speed runner,

You're like, what the fuck? How how is that happening? Like warping from the Decoo treat again, it's castle exactly that type of stuff. Like I haven't really gone into like the glitch type stuff or anything like that, but like you know that the punch out stuff I do is just like none of it's really glitches. It's just like, oh fuck, I didn't really if you did this frame perfect thing and did a bunch of buffer punches,

you could like knock this guy out in fourteen seconds. Like it's We had a speed runner on to do um half Life too, and it was crazy. They were doing this thing where you run you kind of bunny hop backwards and it just makes you like make massive leaps across the map. But the concept of being like, well, yeah, you gotta do this like fun bunny hop you know, backwards and sometimes complicated. It seems like it's really hard to do that stuff even once. But then it's like you see

the speed runners doing it over and over and over again. It just becomes this muscle memory reaction and it's well, and it also becomes cannon like. It becomes like a part of the game design, whether or not you intended it. Um Dust Force is often speed run in AGDQ, and it's crazy because they will go through the map in ways that the designers had no intention of you being able to do that. It was always meant to be like a test of might and skill to be able to get through the level.

The fact that you can like cheat through the back end of a level and get out the other end. The Deves were like, but like, it's funny because that's the way it is now, and that's the way the game is, and they're not going to patch it because that's the game now, like you released it, like you know, it is what it is now.

Once the games in people's hands, like they are going to like you can have the biggest Qway team in gaming, but like once it's out in the public's hands, they are going to find ways to break it that you never even considered. I think it's I think that sounds awesome. I think it's cool too. It's a really nice world. Um do you watch AGDQ.

I think you'd get a kick out of it tuned in from time to time, and I think as of this recording, I think tomorrow we're gonna watch some stuff for Giant bomb tomorrow and just you know, pick a few games that we liked that they did this year and just watch a few. So yeah, now he's coming up. Yeah, Yeah, I've seen some Marris Shine stuff. I've seen sun shines crazy. It's awesome, Like that

stuff is really cool. I went to one. I went to a Summer Games done Quick in Minneapolis once and yeah, really saw it in the crowd, and like, I just I think that's the coolest stuff. Those communities that are all working together and just like the those like hype levels of just people like cheering like it's a fucking like a sporting event or a wrestling show or something, and like everyone cheering each other on. It's just that's just

really cool that it feels like it feels like sports. It feels like what you said, it's sports, but like both of the teams can win if someone does a really good job. It's like if everyone scores, both teams

are like we did it. Zero fucking interest in esports. I have zero interest in going to the fucking Staples Center or Crypto dot Com Arena and watch some fucking leagues that I don't give a fuck about any esports, But this these live events and stuff where people are cheering each other on speed running and stuff like that, or trying crazy things like blindfold runs and stuff like that. Shit I think is awesome. I love that shit. Yeah. I

think it's a neat world. So that's cool. Yeah, it's it's very right down your time. Wait, so tell me what your top time is. My best run is not that great. It's thirty nine minutes twenty six seconds min thirty nine twenty five God damn it. Really wow? And you tell me about your don fling. My name is a summoning salt on the leader, summoning salt. Yeah. Wow, I watched these videos? What long? What an amazing long con? Would it be? If I really was? You're not, But what if I was? It'd be a funny

long pretty cool. I've got so many long cons brewin with everybody. I know. You have no idea. I'm long dong your mom. You're gonna you're gonna walk out to delivering one number one chip her face, and it's gonna be me the ultimate speed runner in Donkey Kong Country. If you were to, if if somebody said you have to speed run a game, you were forced to both of you what would you choose and you have to dive

all the way in. You got to like you're not free, You're in a prison cell until you are in your the top until you're number one, top twenty of George's Mask. Really that But that's tricky though, because like someone like ma George's Mask or a Zelda game is so active that that would I think be harder than like something maybe a little more obscure. Uh oh, Like are you saying like the size of the leaderboard, the competition in the top two, But it's like, what's the game that you know really

well that maybe wouldn't have as much competition. It's like a Zelda game, So obscure would be good because you would have less people that you'd have to fight against. Yeah, but it's also gonna be something that like you know, you know when you've played and you know, you feel like you could like get to that level that's really interesting. I like wonder if I could

get away with Down well, because I can beat that fairly consistently. I don't think that gas super famous, yeah, but I think that you could get through it pretty consistently quickly. Is there like a defined ending to that game? Yes, there's the bottom of the well. That's a great choice hotting. I don't know. Good question. Um game going no better than all your games. Might take six hundred hours to get started. Oh yeah that's the thing time Yeah, Tom sick time three hundred hours, like hours,

two hundred and ninety six hours? Uh maybe like maybe uh dark Watch, oh for three to sixty No, no, no time switters two time splitters two. Oh nice. I'm sure the audience is big, but I can fly through that. You should just do the one where you gotta throw the bricks through the windows. That one basically is speed running. Yeah, it kind of those challenges in that game are incredible. Yeah. I'd probably try to pick like the most obscure game that no one would probably speed run,

just that I could be like, I'm the best at it. I looked at that. You can sort speed run dot com by like least active to most active. Yeah. Yeah, I mean there is a bunch of shit. Would just be easy as hell to get that funny just for bragging rights. Yeah, just find something real, like chex quests or something. I'm number one Mcgruffin's curse. Let's see, I'll search speed Run here. Yeah, what's the least active game right now, Kentucky Rous zero. I'm

not an adventure game. Here's constantly hitting passed through the dialogue. Yeah, that's probably a thing, okay, sort by least active, all right? Oh, a bunch of Hercules mobile How I met Hercules um a Kingdom for Kafling's I played that Age v Empires two zero active players. Yeah, because yeah, because you can't really speed run Angry Birds Pop Backyard Sports for Xbox three sixty Backyard Sports Backyard Football was awesome. Battles of Prince of Persia for

the DS. There's some stuff you could do here. I could get that che Cheese Pro Challenge Golf Cheese Pro Challenge called Eminem's Racing Retteler Counterstrike. I played that. Yeah, I don't know how you would speed run that. The twenty twenty three dead space and there's a reason that's not active yet. The mobile destroy all humans too. Yeah, it would be hard to get on something. I feel like that's just making an award for like the sake of it. That's like, that's how I felt when I wanted to do

like my first Guinness Record thing. As I looked at the Guinness Book and I was like, Okay, what could I I just want to get a Guinness World record, So what is the most attainable record here? And everything was like score or stuff and like you know, Billy Mitchell like fucking Donkey Kong shit and pac Man. I was like, I'm not going to be

able to do that. And then when I saw that, like you could do just marathon shit, it's like play thirty hours of Smash Brother, that could play fifty hours of Mario, and like those are the ones that you can do, Like you can say confidently that all you have to do is just stay awake and follow the rules. That's all you gotta do. And like not a lot of people would do it. So I was like, all right, I'm gonna do I still have the Mario record, Oh that's

attainable. I don't think I have any records. I think I'm the record holder of anything. If there is one thing, not a game, just an activity, what do you think you would be the closest to being the global leader of This is like such a thing to spring on me globally, to think about it global? You do think I'm or the most or the longest, or like I'm a very average, you know person. I don't think I do anything very cool for long extended periods of time. What streme

behavior? Extreme behavior? Um? What is it's question? I I don't know. Is there anything that you do where it's like I'm doing this so much more than anyone I know? Uh? I wish I did. Um. I do think that I probably I probably game than most people I like in my friend circles, but not more than like the people that work in games globally, Like there's always gonna be people have games, not any of us. Yeah, Um, I would say, No, I don't.

I really don't. I don't think I do anything super cool. I don't like really hard. I don't. But it doesn't like there's nothing I do for extended periods of time. He asked me, Mike, he asked me what I do for extended periods of time more than other people in the world. I'm saying, what is the thing that she could most get a leaderboard or get a world record type thing of Like, what is the closest thing that you do that you think you could be in contention for, like one

of the top one percent in the world. For me, it's sit ups up probably benching the most weight would be Yeah, I'd probably be up there. Did you see those stats of how many people thought they could return a tennis ball from a sir from Serena Williams, And it's like it's like outrageously high. It's like people who are like, I mean I could return I could return one from her, And it's just like that would that would clear go through your skull? Can catch a cannon ball? Yeah, like,

no fucking chance. Die Jesus, Mike, do you have anything that you feel like you're so on the extreme of brain? I probably walk my dog more than a lot of other people. Walk my dog like three times a day. I'm obsessed with him. I'm constantly taking him to cool places. I like him more than people I don't know. Made a lot of tacos. I almost tried to get a world record for um never tying my shoes. I wrote Guinness and asked if there was a world record for never tying

your shoes, how do they I swear? But I was like, fortunate idea, Well you really did? I did? Yeah, I thought I could win the world record for never tying my shoes. Shoes that you tie? Well, it was untied shoes. So the shoes were supposed to tie, and I chose it not to tie them, and they just like hung to the sides for my shoes. I mean, I just like they would just rip off it at some point. But you wrote Guinness about that,

Yes I did. That's amazing. They did not respond. Oh, I got some contacts I can give if you still want to go for that. No, fuck Guinness delightful people. They are not. They're they're like money suckers and they're a lot. They're just scavengers. That gave me two awards. They're very nice. No, you paid for two awards? No, life, didn't I fucking do this shit. It's documented. It's documented to them. They just get paid to make awards. But that's their business.

They're the in the awards business, of course. Yeah, but they don't have to like validate anything. They are weirdly strict about stuff. They are due. Have you done this? It is like it is they are super strict about that shit. No. Guinness is like, uh, scam. I mean, it's a goofy company. It's a silly thing to exist. But I think me thinks that someone who has two Guinness World Records is taking this a bit personally, but it's not a m he lost it like immediately

after, right I lost the lost the Fighting Game one right away. I still have the Mario Marathon one that's fifty hours. But like I was surprised because like I thought, like, okay, we just stream this or whatever, like you know, like it's there, it is, it's video evidence, right, do we get it? And they're like, no, we

have to make sure that you've got two witnesses at all times. So like let's say you're doing like my Mario thing, it's a fifty hour marathon thing, you have to have two witnesses the entire time that are locking stuff. So like that means not only do you have to be willing to sit there for fifty hours and play the game, you have to find two people that are willing to sit there the entire time to just be witnesses and getting out

of the glory or whatever. So like, you know, the hats off to you know, John Carson, all these people that helped me out, and we're just sitting there watching and like this is with get us. Flew people out to Minnesota to track this, and even then I had have two witnesses and you paid for that. I think Kenness did. I don't. I don't think so. No, I no legit we did not. I didn't. I don't think Game Informer paid for it like I think Kennis did.

I don't think Dennis, what mean think about the I'm not. I don't believe it. I think they get Gness this model. If I Guinness due to you, Mary, I give you the shoelace a word. Yeah,

them for not responding to me. But I do think that. I think that it's their business model to be Like if I wanted to be like, hey, I uh, Guinness, I want to have the world record for um, the most coconuts eaten um upside down, uh, you know, while getting tickled, and they would be like, all right, it's going to cost you ten thousand dollars for us to fly down to get like, you know, a witness and then we'll give you the certificate. No,

the witnesses don't like you get the witnesses. My friends like John Carsons have to be the witnesses. Guinness flew someone out and think about them. Yes, they are a business, but I think they flew someone out because like game informers doing this thing. It's publicized. They are getting some publicity and stuff like that. So like I did all the contact with Guinness, and like money was never discussed. I don't think money ever changed hands between

Guinness and game informer, and they flew someone out to sit there. I still had to have two witnesses. We had these documents and spreadshoess and all that. So like when we went to the bathroom, like every hour I played, I would get ten minutes that I could like bank for bathroom stuff. So like, but it was like straight up like Stopwatch type stuff, like Okay, you've been playing for an hour, you now have ten minutes.

You can you've accrued break time, so you can go you slice pizza in the break room, you can go piss, you can do whatever, but you gotta come back. You gotta make sure you're doing the thing. Like the rules were stricter than I expected, and like I meet it and that like money did not change hands. How well did you guys go smash press smash brods. We did thirty hours and that's crazy. I think the minimum was you had to do twenty four to make it in the book.

I don't know if there was an existing record, but I knew we had to go at least twenty four hours. Once we hit twenty four where we were all like we could do let's let's push through and do thirty. I feel like you'd have sciatica after sitting there long playing something. Jeff, I had to pee. Every single time I had accrued enough to pee, I peed. Fucking Jeff Cork I think he went like eighteen hours without getting out of the couch, like it was insane. He had a catheter in somewhere.

Yeah, yeah, God no, I honestly, I haven't talked again us in ten plus years. Hanson tapping out Hanson, Well, Hanson was just making the documentary. There's a documentary about the first one we did. Smashed against someone documentary on YouTube. Wasn't someone like routinely dying and getting on their feet? Me? Oh yes, because legit, I was having some fucking I don't know if it's carbal tunnel or what, but I was getting

some like legitimate wrist pain. And if I was just like bullshitting this, if I was just ca faving this thing, I would admit it now, But like no, I was actually having like a ton of wrist pain. I was icing it and stuff, and I was getting worried in like a couple of weeks leading up to it, and like I will fully admit I was being I was letter of the law, following the rules to get the record, but I was not like the effort was like I was just like

moving a stick at times. I was just like there's only so many times you can play Smash Brothers Brawl, and like I wasn't like trying to win every time. There were definitely matches where I'm just like moving a stick and technically playing the game, and like you know, checking with chat, we were live streaming and all that stuff. Like I was putting in minimal effort at times, but enough to satisfy the Guinness requirements and all that stuff.

Mario Mario was actually way easier. It was twenty hours longer, but that was actually repetitive. It wasn't repetitive, and the only rule was like it had to be the game had to have Mario in the title. So it's like, fuck, I never actually did one hundred and twenty stars Mari sixty four, so I'll start with that. That took up like twenty four hours. I never played Mario RPG, so it's like I'll just play through all that. That took like another twenty hours and then I just kind of filled

out the rest with like Mario Kart, another little bullshit or whatever. So that actually flew by, Like, Yeah, how'd the account for switching games? I think with that you had to use the accrude time, so I think it was the same as that, like you get the ten minutes per sixty uninterrupted minutes and stuff like that. So yeah, but that was the one where they had six of us. So like I was doing Mario, I think Cork was doing GTA, Tim was doing Resident Evil, Ben Reeves

was doing Metal Gear Solid. So yeah, we had like six people doing different names. Well, suck In, you're Mike tysoning. Yeah, and uh, Mary, best of luck getting a letter back from Guinness. What have you been playing? Mary? It's been two decades Athletica. I don't think I started talking like a tattoo. Yeah, but Guinness, Yeah, the world records, not the beer. It's a really long tattoo. Um. I've been playing more hit Man. I've been trying to get the elusive

target. I suck at hit Man. Uh, it's very fun. The elusive targets super hard because you don't know where they are, and I really rely on knowing where my target is at all times. Um. Not having a red silhouette on the game changes everything. You just kind of walk around and look for clues. Um. And I've walked around a level for like ten hours and been like, I don't know where this fucker is, Like I don't memory that R one, just like, okay, let me let

me find this guy. Dude. It's crazy not being able to find stuff. It's crazy how bad of an assassin I am without supernatural superhuman powers, I cannot kill without knowing where they exist at all times. But it's still a really cool game. And I think it's really neat that Hitman keeps releasing Elusive Targets. I think that's really fascinating, like extended content, um, And so hats off to them for just constantly giving content to people in giving

them a reason to come back and play. There's a new Freelancer trailer this week. Yeah, aren't they doing a thing where they're like officially like putting one, two, and three altogether in this world of assassination? I think already did already happen Hit three if you see it on marketplaces is now called World of Assassination and you get every map when you buy it. That's awesome. What a fucking package. Oh yeah, that's great. The uh even

like the bad maps, like even Colorado is fun. I think Colorado Yeah yeah. Um, or like Thailand. I never really got to know tailiand's one with all the buildings and like with like six floors and stuff. Right then someone with like the medical that's thinking of. It's not Maricash Maracash three where there's the Militia three. It's like, are you thinking of chunking?

Maybe that's what I'm thinking of. Yeah. Yeah. But there's also the one in um the one with a movie star you could shoot him off the roof with the fan, the giant fan for the movie set. Oh yeah, that one's not great. Yeah oh I like that. I was. Um. Thailand is the hotel, the big hotel with the band the uh the like Jared Leto drummer guy or whatever. I think it's from the first game, second game maybe. Um. Also Columbia's Columbia wears thin after times

the cocaine fields. Yeah, it's pretty spread out. Yeah yeah, but I like that game a lot. It's a cool game. Um. Speaking of extra content, rain World is gonna release a down DLC called Downpour. If you've never played rain World, it is an indie game that I played. Oh my gosh, I wonder when Rainworld came out. I might as to look it up. Rainworld is older. It's a really cool concept. Yeah, it looks like it came out in twenty seventeen, so it's not that old. But like, it's an indie game. Uh, you are

a slug cat, which I think is a neat phrase. It looks it's like literally nothing like hollow Night anyway, that Lamur guy tell me that doesn't look like a hollow Night. Oh you're just saying his style yet a white being with black hollow eyes. I get it. Yeah Night. When I seebs, he's reminiscent of holl It's a stretch, but I see it. Um. So you are a slug cat that is existing in a world of carnivorous monsters. But you yourself are carnivorous, so you're kind of like um.

You run around, You eat bugs and fruit to fill your belly. When you're full, you hibernate and it kind of. I don't know. I don't think it involves your character, but it lets you like go up a notch as a character, which is important because then you can access the

next stages of an area. Areas are filled with like carnivorous beings, and it's really wild the first time you encounter one, because they're hidden all throughout the stages of the world, so you might not realize at any given time that maybe a plant is carnivorous, and you'll touch it and it eats you and you're just God damn it, and then you get to start over and try again. The whole thing is about exploring the world, dying, trying

again. But the environments are really fascinating. The art style is very unique and intriguing. There's lots of different animals that you can kill or be killed by, so it's pretty fun kind of just navigating it. It is not easy. I do think it's important. Like I was a bit jarred when it first came out with how difficult it was for me to understand how to

play it and not die every few seconds. But then similarly a hit Man, I got comfortable with dying and losing, and once I think you do that, you open yourselves up to enjoying the game, because this isn't a game that you win. This is a game that you die and then you try again, and you die, and you try again, and you just

kind of figure it out. The DLC will contain new way more environments and different characters, which I think is really smart because one of my biggest frustrations with the game, the concept of Rainworld, is that every certain amount of time it rains, you have to hibernate when it rains or you'll drowned. I'm picking a character that I think it gives me more time before rain, and it just feels like it's it's way more lenient for me to be able

to like explore before I have to find a place to hibernate. But there's rain triggered randomly or is is it like breath the wild thing, or it like it's raining or is it like specific like oh, I went into this area of the map and it rains here. I think that it's time based based on my play and um, so you have like a certain but it's not like every thirty seconds or anything. It's like time, right, So

you just be around you'll notice that it's starting. You'll hear it. You'll notice that you could hear like storm a common You should find a place to hibernate when you hear that, and if you can't find a place, you will literally drown because the rain is like two intense. So um, but maybe one of these new characters, because I haven't played all of them, and I think there's five new characters, maybe one of them can like swim.

I don't know. So, like, there's a lot of character differentiators to be able to either be more more battle focused where you're like a fighter. Um, there's very nuanced movement to the characters. Um, you don't have a lot of button presses. Right. You can you can run, you can jump, you can slither through these tunnels. You can pick up rocks and sticks and you can throw them. So sometimes you'll come across like a lizard. These lizards are like common enemies. They will kill you if

they touch you, they will like rip you apart. You can throw a rock and dink them in the head and then they'll kind of be out of it for a while and you can scurry past them. Lizards fight each other, which I find very interesting. So you can dink a lizard and then another lizard will like think it was him, and then they'll fight, and that's pretty interesting. The sticks are really really cool because you can throw a stick at a wall and then you can climb onto the stick, so you

can use it for traversal. So it seems like there are a lot of like systems like I know, I bring up Breath of Wild a lot, but it sounds like the type of stuff words like, oh, you can make enemies fight each other, you can use the things at your disposal to like platforming things, like a lot of systems in play that you can like come up with your own solutions to stuff. Yeah, it feels very sandboxy where it's not telling you how to get through the area. There's like a

little I have no idea what to call this thing. There's a little bug in the world. He's golden and he kind of guides you. Sometimes he'll be like, you want to go this way, and he's just basically trying to get you to the next stage alive, and so you're following his advice a lot. Other than that, everything is up to you. You. If you click through like even images of this game, you'll probably come across

an image, we will be like, what the fuck is that? Like, there's just a lot of like weird visuals, a lot of strange environments that you come across that are very surprising to the player. It is a difficult game. I just kind of want to like stress that. Again. I don't think this is an easy game. I think kind of can be frustrating for someone who's just like looking for a game that wants to tell them

what to do. This is for a player that like enjoys the concept of dying and learning and exploring an environment and is okay with that type of experience. But you'll come across lots of like really weird creature design and everything. A lot of it is going to kill you. You get to like learn, oh, there's mushrooms in the world. Eating them will have different effects

like slowing down time because or high or changing things. I found a bug in my last play through that I never really thought about before that um it it has like popping effects, And there were leeches in the water, and I threw it in the water and it kind of like popped in the water and all the leeches died, and I was like, oh, sick. So like, next time I see leeches, I put this, uh,

I don't know, plant in the water and it'll kill the leeches. So I can get through the whole The whole thing is about experimenting and exploring and kind of navigating this very harsh environment. So I say, it's not like telling you, like when you pick up a thing like throw us in the water and it'll kill the leaches. That's cool. I like that. Yeah, it doesn't tell you anything. And so again it's like you have to be cool with that type of game, right, that doesn't tell you anything.

I think it has a very brief tutorial when you start the game that's basically like eat food, fill your belly, go hibernate. That's like the main tutorial. Other than that, it's like, you know, good luck. I do think. Yeah, it's not a platformer, like you can run up these poles, but you don't jump very well. Again, you're like a slug cat, so you have this like very awkward stance and you can jump horizontally a certain distance. That's about it. So you have to

be very creative. When lizards are coming after you, you use tunnel systems to dodge them. They do here. So you can use rocks to make them think that you're somewhere else to trick them, or you can fight them with sticks and rocks and hope for the best. But if they get ahold of you, it's over. It's a it's a cool game. I think it's really neat. I've never seen anything like it. I think I had a lot of new ideas and concepts, and I respect a lot of games

that are trying new things like this. The DLC is basically just tacking on way more environments. People who got good at this game burned through the content and so they're basically adding more content on to it. So if it's your first time playing it, you didn't miss anything. You can just get the Bass game and you get to play. You get a lot more game now for your buck, because you're just getting more environments and you're getting more slug

Cat variations. So I would start with there's one that it literally starts you with, and he's I would say, like the easiest. And that's great for me because I need a game that like kind of like eases me into this very harsh world. What are you playing on? I am playing it on PC? I did install it on my steam deck and unfortunately, but I should preface i'm playing it before it came out, so there's probably gonna be a patch. There was like a bit like the window didn't match perfectly

on my steam deck, like it wasn't fitting one to one right. Yeah, but it's not out yet. I'm playing it like a little early, so I'm hoping they'll fix that when it comes out. But I would say it looks great on PC. It has a couple of minor issues on a Steam deck right now. Do you know if it's on switch or anything? Um, I don't. I love how you're just like looking for handheld options here. He helps a lot. Look, I got flights coming up.

I respect that. Um. Rain World launch trailer Nintendo Switch. Yes, nice, Yeah it's on the switch. Um. It has really cute imagery. Um. And it does have a bit of a story as well. It reminds me of like a Miss pac Man story if you ever played Miss pac Man and it's just like, dud, I haven't heard of it. Um, this one is like that, but sadder. It's like you're like a cute rain you know, you're a slug cat. You got a family and everybody's in love, and then there's like then there's like rain, we're

the pac Man has a family? Is it right? Look at them? Are they not allowed to be happy? Dan, Well, they have to be single and missus No. I'm saying, like I hope that every video game character can you know, find love or whatever. But just anatomically, look at the situation there. They don't have a family. They're actually super depressed. You're eating pills in the game and you're getting really high and there's

nothing. It's not like they're medicating themselves. Person is they're self medicating themselves because they're alone. You want that the reality that you want. Repellets might be drugs, but the standard pills. Why can't miss pac Man have a family? I just don't know how. How will you know they're pregnant? Is it like a little circle of little Also, that's a good question, that's a very good question, Like does it come out of the same hole.

I don't know if they have an asshole? Jesus Christ, bar and babies. I don't think Pacman has an asshole. Do you think if you google pac Man asshole that there is a detailed rule through the AI one where it makes an image pac Man with an asshole? Yeah, do they do things like that? Can you type in like gross stuff? Oh, there's a lot of pac Man with butts really like but I'm talking anis Um,

I want to see Pacman direct them. Yeah, I'm I'm looking. Oh, I see someone someone tattooed like a pac Man level on their ass. That's pretty cool. Probably pac pac Man's heading towards his asshole. Search for pac Man anis Man is in dangerous territory? Who who is this Miss pac Man? When I'm looking at what's coming out of her? Is that? Oh there's a dildo in her ass? Oh you found a drawing of Miss pac Man with a dildo. Yeah, oh there's an Oh that's born.

This is porn. Wait, like shoot porn, Like this is like humans? No, no, no, no, okay, it's pac Man by detailed. That has to be ironically drawn, right, that has to be like right, it's not like Miss pac Man as like one of the first feminine characters and video games. I can see it being like, oh god, how many people have down a dark paths she's given She's giving a realistic looking dick a foot job. There's no way more than right. Okay,

I take back what I said, Jake cut that. Um. Anyway, I've been playing the reason this has gone up Tuesday fire emblement gauge, but a lot of it. Jake has two. But I've been check talking to Jake about it. Motherfuckers that aren't Nintendo Jail. I like that game a lot. Wait, quite a bit. I thought you were. Were you more lukewarm on it last time or not? Yeah? Sure? How you built? Yes? What's won the over um the fact that throughout the whole

game it just gets out of its own way. Every cut sceneses like thirty seconds tops, and then it's like, oh another fight. Oh I'm not kidding. Okay, it took me. I was doing a lot of the side stuff, but a normal difficulty with permadath turned off, which I usually don't do, but I want to to make sure I wasn't missing any story beats. Spoiler alert, You're really not missing any good writing if you do it on permited. So I would actually suggest to try to do the classic

mode. So wait, is this more? Is this more combat gameplay focus and less like oh I'm touching your face and fallen into love? Yes? Hell, yes, it is more like older. Okay, so let me let me paint you the picture. I think if I was lukewarm last time, it probably had to do with the fact that I think I was just it just really it is very bad story wise, which the more I play, the more I oh yeah, oh yes, okay, but there there's

some context for certain characters. But like by and large, you're getting attached to characters much like you would an X com. Well, these are scripted characters, of course, you're you're recruiting, you're recruiting a lot of people. But you'll get Vander he's a great night. You'll get Lapist, she's

the swordswoman who's this retainer for a crown prince. Like they're scripted people, but then you get attached to different ones because oh man, she she's really good pensively, so she's gonna go block the bridge while my mage gets behind her and just wrecks any armored guy that comes up, and she could take out any spear person because of the rock paper scissor thing. She's got an axe. You get attached to characters that way, really good, really well

in this game, because the game's cut scenes are so ridiculously dumb. But no shit, I counted like tennis cut scenes that were like, you can tell the game is just desperately trying to contextualize the next battle anyway it can. So it's like, oh, let's go, let's go into these ruins

over there, and someone else will be like, it looks safe. This will be a this will be a leisurely jaunt, and then someone else is like or those bandits, and then it's like battle, and then it's it never it is always like rushing into the next battle, and when you're not, when you're back at the HQ, I will say that a lot of the HQ stuff can feel kind of unnecessary because you're playing through it's more like Firemlan Fates. If you play at any of those three, you're playing through

the battles, you're recruiting. You're recruiting a shit ton of people. You're getting like three new people after each of these battles. You're figuring out who you like, who fits into your army, who's got good skills, like okay, it's a flying mage that'll help. And also she can heal people from wherever because she has staff skills. But by like chapter twenty. I had maybe like fourteen people I just didn't need. I wasn't using because I

had this set team that was really good. But you are going back to the HQ and it is very much more like a management sim than Persona, which three houses, so it was it more like like I love an x coom where you go back afterwards it's like, Okay, I'm managing my base. I'm doing this stuff. I hated in three Houses where it was like I gotta go back and I got to talk to a bunch of assholes because like because there are battle benefits and like, oh no, I got this

to an S rank or whatever. Like I hated feeling like I had to do all that dumb bullshit in the Molecule can. There's still relationship building. However, you can as soon as you get back to the HQ, press pause, go to reference, and then go to support. It'll tell every character who has a support cut scene to watch, and you could watch it from right there and they are like thirty seconds tops really quick. You don't right around, you don't talk to assholes, you don't do any of that.

Um no, you don't have to run and talk to someone physically it's all. It can all be done through the pause menu. Fuck yes, but you do need to do a lot of Like you can buy weapons, you could sell stuff, blacksmithing. Yeah, you recruit, you adopt animals that then like are in your barnyard that give you supplies for food and whatnot and blacksmithing stuff. But you're also going to the arena to train characters.

Say there's someone you're like, oh, I could really use a new support healer character who can buff my her allies, So you can go to the arena and train her up there. Because she's not you don't trust her on the battlefield yet, so you could train her up there. You also have the whole story is about collecting twelve rings which will help the good Dragon beat the bad Dragon. That's about it, And each of those rings are called

emblem rings. Those are the ones that are tied to characters from the series passed like Lucina, Seleca, Roy Marth and they all have specific skills that they passed down to anybody who develops a strong enough bond with them, and you could just give them the ring in a battle and anytime you use their powers, you can get these like transformation powers if you're wearing Marth's ring and then you get this attack that like hits someone seven times with a sword,

and then that lasts for three turns, and then there are pools around the terrain that you can use to recharge to transform again. But the way you get most new skills in this game is by increasing each character's bond with specific

fire emblem heroes passed and they passed down specific skills. You're inheriting new abilities from Marth, likeke Roy Lucina. So at first that felt annoying because I'm like, okay, well, three Houses is pretty good about like as much as some of the classroom stuff and the relationship and the tea parties could get overwrought, you still feel a connection to Felix because you're there teaching him in the classroom, like, oh, I really want to get his sword to

level grade B so he can use better swords and then rank up to the sword master. This game, it took me a while to realize how flexible it is, but once you've figured out, it's super flexible because you can literally just go back to the HQ, go into the ring room, pay There's this currency called bond fragments. You just pay those. Say a character that you don't really use is pretty under leveled, pay to up his bond with Selca to level ten. Suddenly, Now as long as you have the

currency, he can inherit all like any skill that she had. So it's actually pretty great way to utilize greenhorns and recruits and rookies that you don't trust on the battlefield because they would get other people killed. So you can go back to the HQ train them super quickly, at least give them abilities, not necessarily level them up, give them abilities to help them survive, and then actually rank them up so their stats go up. It's pretty elegant system

once you figure it out. But yeah, this game is just always pushing you quickly, either if you're not about to get into a new battle or in a battle, it's like, go prepare these you're twelve a team and

then your B squad. That sounds really appealing to me, because like, I really love Final Fantasy tactics and Tactics advance, and I love like the battles were amazing, but I also love the in between because it was kind of that prepping and like the job system and all that and like, Okay, I'm gonna give you this item in this item and I'm gonna vel up this thing and get you ready for this deal. It's like that shit, the in between battle stuff I love as long as I feel like I'm doing

it in service of the gameplay. It's three houses where I just felt like it was a bunch of like ooh, this person needs to talk to this person about or shit or have a tea party or something like. That's the stuff that drives me insane. Like what you're describing it sounds way more like what I want from Fire Emblem. That stuff exists, but it's so brief

and on normal difficulty you really don't need to interact with it. Like there's a dining like a meal option that increases the bond of people you eat, and also you could take leftover food into the next battle as like a healing item. But excuse me. There are some activities like fishing or wiver and ride, which is like the Star Fox mini game. A lot of that is not super necessary. You can also exercise before battles to get It's like

it's almost like Monster Hunter. There's certain things you could do to get buffs in the next battle. Sure, but yeah, by and large you are. You're unlocking new facilities at the HQ. But and then it's not like you're necessarily unless you're playing on easy, you're not really going from story battle to story battle between major battles previous nodes on the world map. You're just traveling in this circular continent. Previous nodes on the world map will pop up

with skirmishes, which if you played fire before you know this. They're just like side ancillary missions you can go to with certain levels in order to rank up people you're not going to use in the major battles, or there's paralogs where you go to complete them to recruit new people. But yeah, you're recruiting people. There are I want to say there are probably ten to twelve characters who, aside from the battle that I actually met them and recruited them

in, I didn't use. There are a lot of characters which can be overwhelming if you're coming off If three Houses is the only Fireman being played, that can be overwhelming, but it very much if you're not using perma death and there's no danger of losing someone if they die in a battle. This game really is more about finding those like twelve to sixteen people you really want to rank up and give new classes and rely on. And so now I've

got a pretty good squad. And then if you come into a map and they have a lot of flying enemies, but like, okay, I'm going to come with one sniper and two horseback archers instead of my use little one horseback archer. So the tactics are incredible, and they're they're actually pretty basic as far as certain tactics games go. But like the rock, paper, scissor, axe beat, spear beats, soords back the terrain on the maps.

They do some pretty clever things there, like if you're fighting on the coastline, high tide will come up and characters lose most of their evasion stat in water, and you also can't move as far, so you can kind of once you figure out how many turns the tide takes to recede, you can kind of use that against you, like retreat back to high grounds so the enemy has to come through water on the next turn, or wait for low tide and then just charge all your cavalry at them to take them by

surprise, not surprise, but just rush them. But yeah, I'm anytime the script tries to characterize someone, most time I'm like, oh my god, shut up, this is it's bad. But I've I already have like that x Com experience where you get really attached to that one sniper in that one medic. I have that with like eight people in this game, because they come through in these like eleven hour moments or man Jean has really sucked most of my campaign, but I need another medic because one healer is not

Sometimes two healers isn't even enough. When I'm fighting enough enemies, I need a third person. He needs to step up. And finally he ranks up enough and I've been training him at the HQ between missions. He becomes a high priest who can basically use sorcery of offensive magic and heal, and now he's like one of my most reliable characters. Even though like I just was like, sort of sounds cheesy, but I was like, just I'm pulling

for him. I'm rooting for him, even though he's technically not great. Now all of a sudden, he's just like eliminating people left and right.

The emergent narrative stuff is my favorite with those type of games, like you know, like especially like x Comy Bring Up, I name everyone an next come off of like friends and celebrities and whatever the fuck, and like that is so fun where it's just like, Okay, this some random sniper I recruited, and Okay, I named him Kayla, and I made him look like, you know, my sister Kayla, and it's just like, Okay, so that's Kayla. She's she's my best sniper and I'm gonna protect her

and everything. And she's leveled up a ton because I'm protecting her like that emergence. It's not because there is this written thing and this is the narrative of like you know, the fire emblem lore or anything. It's because, no, she's the fucking best sniper I have, and like there's this built up lore and you named him after someone, you know. Like that's the

type of shit I love in those games. I've never once given a shit about the like the written narrative of like here's who Krama is or whatever. And I really like Three Houses. I think the way that they actually I think they gave you a solid dozen characters that you're teaching and shaping and over a long term, a calendar month before the next battle. Like Persona, you are working them each toward a specific class that you want. I think

that worked really well. But this game is more a traditional fire emblem or more like Fates in a lot of ways, where you're getting a bunch of people. I would actually say on normal you can it's almost like you're getting too many, and some of them are repeating. Like there's some people that were really cool at first, but then I got someone way better, Like I got this guy Diamont, and I imagine a lot of people will use him because he's a major character. He's really good at first, he's pretty

good offensively. I stop using him as soon as I got another character named gold Mary, who's just this weapons specialist can use basically anything, so the rock paper scissor thing, if you rank her up in a certain way, is never a problem as long like she can go up against most weapon types. There's still some annoyances in this game. It can get repetitive too.

If you're playing on hard, you're going to be needing to do a lot of the skirmishes to rank people up, and those battles you're literally replaying battlefields you've already done sometimes like four or five times. I would say like the fact that you're bringing in new characters to the squad to rank up will keep things somewhat fresh. But also if you're playing on hard and fire emblem, I think you know what you're getting in for. Where as normal, you

don't necessarily need to do all of those repetitive missions. But it can definitely get a bit repetitive. But three Houses could as well, so like, I don't think that's new for a tactical genre. Any strategy game, the middle hours can be pretty repetitive. This game doesn't do much to alleviate that.

But if you're just like going from story mission to story mission, doing the paralogue missions to recruit new people or increase your bond with those heroes, and doing skirmishes every once in a while, I think it's pretty well paced. The fights are awesome. It's pretty regularly in the story mission switching things up, like if we take the high ground at that castle, we can get that ballista and just wreck people. I like it quite a bit.

I don't know that it's I still think my favorite Firewoman is Awakening three d Ye. Yeah, it's great because emergent stuff that was that was great that the whole time baby stuff was brilliant. Yeah. I like the GBA ones a lot, but Awakening is definitely the one I was like obsessed with. Yeah, and I love Three Houses that that might be My second favorite engage

age is just it's it's real dumb in a lot of good way. Like there's sometimes like I would actually say, it's really fucking funny most of the time, but it's in that cringey territory sometimes that's like not quite camp enough to be camp. I think I mentioned this last time, but some of the characters are really say really funny shit. Like one character will be like, I'm gonna say this politely, please die, and then she'll kill somebody

and it's awesome. But like other times, other times someone will be like you were beautiful while you lasted, and I'm like, all right, I don't know what you're going for anymore. It's like a writer's room. No, it's not like a writer's room. It's like a writer's office where like thirty writers are in separate cubicles writing. These characters have no idea what the person next to them is working on, and then they submit these characters,

like put them in the game. It's likes too almost Oh yeah, well but you're selling them now. Yeah. No, I like this game a lot. I think it'll be a bit polarizing, or I thought it would be polarizing, but the early impressions actually all seem pretty positively. They're definitely taking some mobile game inspiration in terms of the pacing from Fire and Moment Heroes, the mobile game they did, sorry getting on the talent of a cough,

but not in any like nefarious way. Specifically, there are other rings besides Emlin rings called bond rings. And this is where I had to pass back through the tutorial. Men needs to figure something out. But basically you're spending the same currency on bond rings to make them. You can either buy

one ring at a time or you can make ten. That's RNG because if you get and those are all based on minor characters in this series past, like say there's a character named or let's just take Chrom or someone say they're a minor character, you can get crom grade C ring. Once you get three of those, you can combine them into a grade B ring. Those

don't give you special abilities. Those just up your stats. So when you say you're grown in Battle with you have eight emblem rings that you've collected in the campaign and the story. There's four people in your squad that you can't give emblem rings. You give them bond rings, which don't give them special abilities, they just up certain stats. Like I would give my heavily armored character Jade, she's got a giant shield and a huge axe. I'd give

her the ring that ups her defense, resistance, defensive skills stats. Also, you need to be wearing a bond ring in order to gain the skill points that you then spend to inherit the actual emblem heroes skills. It's not as I mean, at first it seemed complicated, but once you figured out it's it's just all part of that rigamarole. Like cull to the land. You go back, you bless everybody, you maybe sacrifice someone, you start a new right, you build a few things, you clean up all the

poop. It's like a routine. Then you go back into a dungeon crawl. That's more. That's kind of what fires are. Fire emblem is you're you're going back and you've got this routine, like, okay, who do I need to rank up. Okay, that clan. This mage, he's a he's a Now he's on horseback, he's this arch mage. He could really use some good swordability, so I can give him some sword skills. I'm going to pair him up with Marth for the next battle, and I'm

going to train him with Marth and so he can inherit those skills. So it really does just become the game is just all tactics. The story, the cut scenes get out of the way quickly. You can skip through most of them. You really are not missing anything groundbreaking. In fact, you're missing an actively bad story. Perfect you. It's it's great. That sounds all beautiful. Yeah, yeah, I wanted to be bad. I want to not be missing anything. I just want to play my fun combat game

in the louver of bad video game stories that you can skip. This is the Mona Lisa speak my language. Yeah, it's right there. Um, I won't look at her. It's fine. It's just it's a lady. There's actually I would actually kind of smiling, but kind of not like that's what's cool about it. It's the kind of a lady. I don't know. Seeing lots of pictures of ladies paintings the ladies kind of smiling. He

invented a brush stroke that looks like it's not a brush stroke. Yeah, but I mean like, look I could kind of smile, you know, like that's you know, it's not fucking don't need to put it up in a museum. Can you paint it? No? Do an ai thing? Hey, I can do that now. It's wonderful world, you know. Oh you have guas records, yes, an art um. Fireman Waking is my favorite one still. I like Three Houses a lot. I've played all four storylines, so I fell off before the time jump in Three Houses.

Oh okay, I like Three Houses, but there's this two much fucking tea party ship in between. Yeah. I like that game quite a bit. Fates, I've played all three of those and I've tried to finish them. I just can't. Something about the pacing gets off the characters. There's a lot of useless characters that you can't really rank up all that well. The HQ stuff is annoying. I would actually say Firebroom Engage is what I wanted Fates to be. Okay, and I like this game quite a bit.

I am very excited about that. Yeah, Three Houses. If you came into series for three House and you're writting more of it, you're not going to really find much of that here. Some of it definitely a very different game play loop three Houses, the one where people were mad about fucking face touching or something. I don't know. I think there were a whole hubub about the face touching or something. I have no idea. I don't really understand that at all. Remember very deep. Yeah, but that's engage.

The last thing I've played, just limitedly was Lost in Play, which is a point and click adventure that's very cute and I think was completely overlooked last year. I think it came out last year and people didn't notice it, and I saw it on Steam and I thought I'd give it the old whirl. And it's fucking great. It's gorgeous. I would like more people who like point and clicks to play this. It's a couple of kids, very

puzzly. It's a bunch of thinkums. You are in environments, sometimes their dreams, which I think is better because then it can toy with reality. Sometimes it's not, and you are solving puzzles in the area, collecting items, which help you progress your space in that area. It's very whimsical, it's very cheeky, it's super thoughtful. The animals are very cute. Everything's just it's just lovely. It's a delight. It's like a total You do

have to think. I was surprised a couple of times by like the way I was supposed to solve something. It looks like a cartoon that you would want to watch on cartoon Network. It looks like the story is adorable. It's gotten. Looking at pictures audio, it's lovely. Looks like the adventures of Drew Scanlon and Patrick Clepick from the pictures. I'm looking at Scanlon and Cratch a clippick subtitle. Yeah, they didn't get the licenses. But it's

super cute. It's just it is just a delight to play. He's like a kid class good old clippic. I think I think it's a very I'm still I'm not that far in it. I'm like a couple of hours in, but I've just loved it. I've loved it so far. I think it's just absolutely sweet. Um, I'm a little busted that I didn't notice it last year. I think it would have been up there on my list. People should give this a whirl. This is so cute. It's called lost in Play. You got a cute look to it. It's so cute.

The puzzles are great. You have to like this style of game though, right. It's a very classic point and click adventure. You walk around, you pick suit up. You know, you have to find the scissors that you can cut, the strings that you can get, the can openers so you can open the cans. You can get the tunas, you can get the cats that you can get, the ball of string blade. Blah blah blah. It's very cute, nice, cool. Do you guys want to do amials? I'm sorry to say that again. Do you want to

do emails? Oh? Yes, yes, yes, we can do that, okay, as usual. You can write into Firescape Past at gmail dot com if you want to send us questions, comments, concerns, corrections. I never read good vibes, some thank yous, just some respect. Basically, that would be nice. Fire Escape Past at gmail dot com. We're looking for uh quizzes as well. We got another one, but I think we're gonna we're gonna hold off on that until next episode. So as not

to winningly. What was the last one quotes the firescape quotes. I think loser didn't win it. You didn't win it. There's no way to know, but anywhere Guinness world record for losing as many. That's not true. Show me, show me the link winner, biggest loser. They don't do dad, they're a positive a company or no? Mary? Do you want to read this first one from Mike sure for the record? I bet you there's all sorts of really depressing Guinness. Yes, most pukes in a in

a twenty four hour period. Most you're around to say most pubes? Me too, I got that covered. Most pubes would be a pretty depressing record. I think it's up to hear. I think he has most pubes, mind goat, like the top of my patch, Mike Marty the most pubes. He's basically all pube. I'm just current current human history or is this forever forever? I bet there were some like historic puby dudes. What's his name? Calvin Coolidge had quite a bush. Prince have like known big pube

Bush. I don't know. Most presidents probably dead. Which president had the least pubes? George Bush? H w U Yes, and then w he was shorn just short. Ye he lays every day mancat turtle shell down there. It was a big thing for him. Barb Barbara had demanded it. It wasn't he was born that way. He was like trying to fly in Pete Can Girl pubes. George J. Bush, He's dead. It was like sticking them to funny stick glued, just sailing them from about my pubes,

guys. Yes, k Cheney had to lend him pubes. Here are some pubs. Are here some pubs also. Here are the nuclear codes. Here's my pubes. You can have my pube. You can tell them anyway, Yo yo sweet hello yo, Well sorry, I have some process words before I read them. Hello, use light casting spoilers. But Hedeo Kojima appears briefly in Copenhagen Cowboy, the second such cameo of his in a is that refin Project Yeah yeah. I'm not sure if you've watched much magically real

Nordic noir, so I can't recommend it per se. But it did lead me to the question, what is the weirdest thing you have ever watch, watch, played, or read? Because it had a tangential relation to something else you liked even just like listening to an album of weird songs because you liked one single, Love the show Cosby war Stalin, etc. Mike from Loveland, who does it? Mike gets us, He brings up Kajima in the beginning, and that's where my head went immediately with this question, because

Kajima was in So around time Twin Snakes came out. I think Kitamura was the director of U. Hey Kidamura I think was his name, was the director of Twin Snakes, and Kajima was a fan of his. He did a bunch of movies and one of them was like the super low budget horror action movies set in the woods. It was called Verses. And I remember buying this movie specifically because I heard Kajima was a big fan of it,

and he's in it briefly. So the director of Twin Snakes made this movie put Kajima in it, and it's just like every scene looks like it was shot in the same day in some Japanese woods, and uh, it's super wacky, over the top or whatever. It else seems really low budget, and Kajima's in it for like twenty seconds or something like that. I remember buying that and making people watched in the dorms in college because Kadima and the

Twins things guy were involved. I watched a bunch of movies because like Nicholas Cage was in them. That was the only reason. That's a solid reason. Yeah no, yeah, but like that's I wouldn't have watched like knowing if it wasn't sure Nicholas Cage, yeah, or next well, even something good like like Mandy. Do you think like if Mandy was a bunch of

like no names in there, would you have watched it? I wouldn't have watched Color out of Space, right, and those are both good movies or big Like if if Pig was just an art house movie starring some guy you've never heard of, I don't know if I would have watched it. But seller he sells films, like his name makes people come out of the woodwork, and he's a draw absolutely and for good reason. He's got a history, like he does interesting stuff. He does do interesting stuff. It's not

just because he's interesting, it's because he takes interesting films. Yes, some are bad, but like also like his enthusiasm for weird shit shines through, so like you know, he's never going to be born at least. Yeah, Jake's Nicholas Cage impression. It's pretty good. Wasn't the Bag of Shark or something. It's Jake stab he does you had to get him on un I got very much into the jazz kind of hip hop fusion band. That's a terrible way to describe it. But Bad, Bad, Not Good because

two reasons. Uh. They had a song in the credits for the end of Barry season one, and then I discovered it was like that singer sounds familiar. They partnered up with the singer Samuel Harring from Future Island, one of my favorite bands. So I got super into Bad, Bad, Not Good because they had him as a guest and it was in Barry. So

that that's how I came across that. It's interesting when like an end credits thing or something like you just hear something for a second, You're like, wait, what is this, and then you want to dive deeper, like I had that with like Silicon Valley ended once and a two Short song came up. It was like you came to party and like I knew of two Short and I have friends that were into everything, but like that got me to like kind of dive in a little bit and listen to more old two

short records. Yeah, yeah, records, elbows, Yeah, Alban's I love the idea that you can just like, um that this is a good question as well, which is like, what what like obscure thing should you not like but you do because you're like it has a really good track? Or what was the gateway thing? Yeah? Yeah, that's my gateway. It's a bad, bad, not good. All right, well, thank you Mike from Loveland. All right, Dan, you want to read this

one from Matt Sure. My brother is currently crash. You're on the couch in my one bedroom LA apartment and we have a courtesy question for you all, which do you consider to be more inconsiderate after the middle of the night bathroom break. Do you flush and possibly wake the other or let your waist molder overnight for them to possibly encounter in the am? Does your answer change between number one and number two? Thank you for your input, Mike from

La. The mat from La. Yeah, very strongly believe this is a spicy question, and I think it's going to be contentious because I have a surprising answer. Do you not flush? I would say that I if anyone has grown up in a home where water was limited yellow, let it mellow was a phrase. Yeah, and I think that as an adult in a house that is mine with water that is plentiful, I have been corrected that I am not supposed to do that anyway. Yeah, I'm with the old

Mary where it's like let it mellow, like that's a bonk. Is is very much like, hey, if you But here's what So I hate it because when I go home to my dad's and again, the toilet scenario is a whole ordeal there and anytime, like I sleep on the couch and the bottom floor and to flush the toilet on the bottom floor is a Rube Goldberg device of like doing just a billion type of things, and I certainly don't want to do that. Every time I pee a lot. I pe a

lot. So he's weirdly specific about like if I don't flush when I pee, he is, oh, how could you not do that? But also his toilet doesn't work, So I feel like that as much as I want to. And then before it went it's my last pee of the night. Then I'll go through the whole fucking rigamarole of flushing your toilet. Um, but he's like, oh, it's still grossed if you just pee, you

let it sit there, fix your toilet. Well. So for the question, though, I think it's like in both situations, the person is trying to be polite. Yeah, I think it's the noise of the flush. They don't want to wake something up. So we've had in the year we've lived in this apartment, we're coming up on a year. In like a couple of weeks, I think we've had maybe close to twenty different people stay here at some point, and different people do that. And our bedroom is

kind of across the hallway from the bathroom. Yeah, so like we've had different parents that don't flush at night, and I think it's because they don't want to wake us up. But I a Amanda's a heavy sleeper and be in every situation I want them to flush. I think I don't know which of my parents does it. It's one of my parents, and I think one of Amanda's. As a guest in someone else's house, yes, i'd be flushing, and but they're still doing it because I would be like,

eh, yeah, it's a little pe it's fine. And I have been told that I can't do that no more. Yeah, side flushing at someone else's place. So, Mike, I've crashed your place a million times, I've paid your toilet at million times, and I've flushed every single time. Yeah, thank you. When I am here, we've got numerous bathrooms, and so when I go to the bathroom in mine, which I don't think Bianca has ever used my toilet once in the two plus years we lived here

or whatever. Wow, So I will be and not flush here. That's fine. But I think if like when of you were crashing here, I probably would have flushed. But if it's just bonk, like I know, like she's she's okay with the like a let it sit or whatever, So I think it's it's situational. But if I'm at someone else's place, I will flush every time, unless it's like a weird dad situation. But here, I'll be in my toilet and not flush all the time. If I

shit, yeah, flushing that down. I'm not hanging around for the question. I will always flush in someone else's place. I don't, Yes, I don't. If it wakes them up, that sucks, but like they can go right back to sleep, hopefully, and then they won't find my pa in the morning. But even if you find Pa, it's not that bad. Like if you find turds, that'll mess up. I would love to just IDs. That would be like I need to talk to someone, and your mom is like, I didn't want to wake you, sweetie.

These are just you know, night turds. Don't worry about it, go back to any context. Turds is bad news if it's nice, and even if it's yours, it's not like welcome. It's just the thing you deal with. I think some point in my life I left someone's house and I can't remember if we were just hanging out. I think I was young enough where we weren't like drinking or anything. I think I just forgot to flush poop and I, or at least I went home, and it was murdering

me mentally trying to remember whether I flushed or not. But I was like, oh, I left a dukie in their toilet. We had a cereal pooper at California Trail Junior High in the Nindies and late the hands is where I don't think it ever got resolved, but there were like two years. Is the tyrant of just like would clearly like be sitting on the toilet until the turd was ready to go, and they would hover over the side and just shit on the ground like next to the toilet and then wipe or whatever.

So like, there were so many times any fella went into the boy's bathroom and it's just there's a turred on the floor, and I don't think

it ever got No one ever got caught someone in our locker room. So we certain sports seasons would overlap, so like we would be starting lacrosse season and we'd still be sharing the locker room with what would have been like the basketball team if they were went far enough into the playoffs and someone we we're pretty sure someone on the basketball team was taking like Coca Cola can size poops. So we're like, who has this big of a butthole that's squeezing these

ones out? Not even squeezing like, and it was like seven days in a row one week, and we're like, who is doing this? And it became like a witch hunt of big buttholes and we never found them. I told you the game spot Pooper Oh in the executive bathroom. No, yeah, we're in the executive bathroom. Right comic Oh No Comic Con twenty

fifteen, sixteen, we had a pooper left turret on the floor. Chris Waters came out and said the bathroom floor, bathroom floor, Okay, that's fine, and he said, you know, I don't want to be weird. Pop. Somebody pooped on the floor and we said, you know, wasn't an accident, like did it look like it was a mistake and he said no, it was perfect coiled rattlesnake, perfect on the floor, and uh, you know, we discussed it lightly and it came up a couple

of times as Joe and we never found out who it was. Well. Also, Pete Brown discovered in the Executive Bathroom game spot the graveyard of dried boogers on the wall next to the toilet. I've seen vomit. I will, I will vomit bogers like on a toilet. Poop is worse than boogers. There's something like really gross about that, Like the whole concept. There's like a disgusting, vile human that someone was doing it the same yeah, every time they're pooping. It was like it was hand level on the tiled

wall next to the toilet. Wick poop is worse on something somewhere, so apologies heard it. But I remember two thousand and two Kansas University hashing Or Hall, somebody laid the craziest poop I've ever seen there, and it was it was literally like we gathered around like it was the thing where people are like knocking on doors like come look at this. And it was a full on, like eager than like a chote la burrito, like just one turns like yeah, yeah, honestly, yeah, get him on the horn.

Do you think he left it because he knew it was impressive? It could be. It could be because like, honestly, if I had laid that, I'd be like, that's fucking sweet. Um, But it's kind of this guy Adam came in and fucking I don't remember you put a glove on or what. But he brought in a pringles can and he grabbed the turd from the toilet with all of us watching, put it in the pringles can and shoved it in and they're like filled the whole pringlescan this fucking turd.

And then there are two back in the day, there were two elevators at hashing Or Hall. He put him in one of it just put a pringles can lid off of it, filled with turd, and it just rode the elevator all day. People would like walk in and be like fuck that, and so like you would just see it would just a thing. We were sitting in the lobby and he would see the door open and it would just be this lonely turd filled pringlescan sitting there with no one in it for the

whole fucking day. Just the the most impressive turd I've ever seen him entire life. That's horrific. I don't like that. Who the same guy who put it in the pringlescan and got kicked out of the dorms because he was on mushrooms once and he went down in the middle of the night to the front desk and he was just completely naked and just laid face down on the tile and spread his ass cheeks. It was like just making weird noises, spreading his ass cheeks, and they just kicked him out of the dorms.

Wasn't the last, It wasn't the first who cleaned up the pringles poop. I don't think we know. I think we just custodian who had to come in and clean it up somebody. It must have been on board some nighttime ra or something. Yeah. God, all right, well, thanks Matt for that. Appreciate it all right. To the fire Escape Cast crew. Some years ago, Dan shared an incredible trick on the Beast Cast for stopping

hiccups. We had to do this on New Year's You try to say I'm about to hiccup right before you do so, and they just mage stop. Ever since hearing that, I haven't hiccupped more than twice in a row. To the crew, what's the most interesting, useful, or perhaps even life changing trick or bit of advice you've learned from someone you otherwise had no regard or respect for it? Wow? That extra bit, that's a turn. Yeah, thanks for all the laughs and gret congrats and having by far the

most fun game of the year. Show. Sincerely, Walter writing from Japan. I'm sure he's joking at the end there. Um, Well, first off, did I learned that trick from Tim Turrey? Me too? Okay, so that was no respect or regard nothing, but yeah, it works for me. It does not. I think I tried it with Amanda, didn't work. It works for me too, and it's worked for Bonk in the past, but I think in New Year's at your plays it was Bonk. We were trying it on. Yeah she kept pickupping. Yeah. Yeah.

The idea being that like once you really try to anticipate it, pre anticipate it. If they stop something, your head gets too into like I need to predict it, and yeah, forget about hiccuping. Yeah yeah. Oh. I don't know if this is a regular thing, but this is something I learned in like fifth grade and I've done to this day and it always fucking works. And maybe it doesn't play as much, not on video,

but I'll explain it as much. Again. If you feel like you got something in your eye, it's like respect of something, a dust or whatever. The thing you do is you take the top of your eyelid, you grab it between your fingers, you bring it down over the bottom and you let it go and it kind of like encapsulates it and then you let it go and then it's gone. And I've done that my entire life, and like that super works. I do the thing where you like kind of

like part it to open it and then you move it around. Supposedly most things will dissolve, but then you move it around a bit, and like that's what like tears will just push it out automatically. Oh really, yeah, that's my thing. Other things trying to think, like how to if I was like at church and I didn't want to sneeze loudly, someone showed me you press against the bridge of your nose. That usually stops me from sneezing. I love sneezing. I don't do this anymore, but like,

if I ever didn't want to sneeze, i'd press. If you're not watching the video, I'm pressing my finger horizontally on the bridge of my nose. It usually stops me sneezing. I gotta tell all the folks I know that work with insook Man about that. Also, Andy, Oh yeah, when when you um, when you guys brush your teeth, you ever do you had? Do you ever use like tongue scrapers or brush your tongue? Yeah, you know how when you're going back sometimes your gag reflex kicks out.

Yes, someone brush my tongue too. Yeah. Someone taught me if you take your thumb and your opposite hand that you're not brushing and squeeze the thumb. It like suppress. It can suppress your gag reflex. It's one of those things your thumb can act well. So it's not like you have to do it hard, you has to strag you If you do it like hard enough, it can be a bit kind of uncomfortable painful, so like you don't think about it, like the gag reflex doesn't kick in because your body's

like, oh this hurts my thumb. Hey, how what's fucking cool? Is like I've had to get like I have Planet for Shridis. I've had it for like eight years and it's never been fixed, and I've done everything you can to fucking whatever. And so at one point, wait, wait, okay, here's how you do it before you have planet for a shidis.

Tell me you're gonna have it okay yet? Because he doesn't have any respects for you know, this doctor was about to inject my foot with this fucking cortisol whatever the fuck whatever it is, some steroid thing, and so he's about to put a fucking syringe in my foot, which I was nervous about it. I never felt that and I was like that sounds bad. And he had some crazy device that like did a like super hard vibrating thing, and so he would do that first in the area and then inject it,

and so it really worked. Like the second he put the super hard vibrating thing on my foot, I was like, whoa, that feels crazy. And then he would inject it and I wouldn't even be thinking. I would be thinking about the vibrating, which ultimately isn't that bad, and I wasn't even ready for the shot, and then they didn't hurt at all.

So yeah, it was pretty cool. Yeah. I feel like doctors do that a lot with babies, where they'll like, you know, kind of kind of like fake pinch their arm and then put a shot in their other arm, but the babies like really focused on the pinch. You know. That's smart. Yeah, it's the thing that you're paying attention to. I have a girl one which is um but it was kind of life changing for me. A lot of girls. You don't want to wash your hair every day. It's a huge pain in the ass. It takes a lot of

energy and effort, but when you sleep, you ruin your hair. So I had a friend once who was always had like really nice hair, and they said they washed their hair once a week, and I was like, how do you get away with that? And they they put it up in a super loose bun and they clip it on the top of their head and then they went to sleep with it. And that's right, and it kind

of maintains the exact style for multiple days. And ever since she told me that I could get away with not washing my hair for like four days now because I it's just a loose clip, and then it looks really nice the next day. And it's totally It's just total hack and I love it, and I I wish I knew about it when I was younger. I wish I knew about it my whole life. But the loose loose clip, loose bun clip is like the best thing for anyone who wants to like wash their

hair less who has long hair. I uh, do you guys have duvet covers at home or just use comforters? I have a duvet cover. I like them. I like that because you can wash it. Yeah, do you do? You did you figure out like the easy way to take them off and put them put your fingers in it? Yeah? That's in the Barbarian Have you seen Barbarian it's fucking crazy because Dan, have you seen Barbarian? No, Okay, I want to be very careful with how I discuss

this. Um, they're my partner. Explain this to me once where you like, you put your hands in the cover of duvet and then you it's inside out and it's on you. It's on you like I don't know, you could just scrunch it up to your shoulders, but yeah, you can also put on you got to wear it like, but you're holding on you're holding onto the corners, but it's from the inside, from the end.

And then you ask someone to give you each corner. You grab the corner of the comforter and then you lift it up and it just kind of naturally folds back outside in over the duvet by when you pull it up and they and they do it in Barbarian and it's like a very cute, like kind of lighthearted moment. I would say, it's an escape from one of the most stressful films I've ever seen in my entire fucking life. And during that moment, I was like, I've seen this, this has happened to me.

It was just like a really funny, cute moment. You should watch Barbarian Dan. I think one that I do every week to this day is I don't remember who taught me this, but you take like I buy a lot of twelve packs of soda. So if you get it, whether it's Selta or Seltzer or soda, whatever, the beer or whatever you get, you know, like the long fridge packs or whatever. So you open up

when you by it. You open up one side, but you don't like take anything out instead of like you know, normally you gotta like one that's out, that's out, that's out, that's out, and put each can in there and everything. You open up one side, leave it there.

Then you open up the other side so both long like ends are open, and then you put the whole thing long ways into the fridge, open up, and then you just like hold your hand on one side, slide the box down and then all twelve will just wind up in the fridge and you don't have to individually take each one out. Yeah, Bianca, are you

that showed me? Who showed me this? It's when you're if you have a you have a like a bag of Doritos and you don't want to be and it's like you're at a party and you don't want to be reaching into if you don't have a bowl. Yeah, you can just put your put your hand up like kind of fingers up in the bottom of the middle of it, push it up and then that pushes up the chips to the very top rim of the bag, and then it also flats and out the bottom, so you just put it on the table. No, I've never heard

of this. I'll show you next time. Okay can do well. Cheesets would of the box, I guess, but that's more of like a cylindrical area Cheetos. Yeah, you can do it, Cheata like the big bags.

I can't tell you how excited I am where It's like I've had COVID for like two weeks now and I haven't able to taste shit, and like it's just starting to come back, and I've been saying, as soon as my stuff is one hundred percent back, I'm just going to order a big ass, garbage ass stuff crust bullshit pizza and eat the whole fucking thing by myself. And I've been thinking about that pizza for so long that I can't wait. It is a weird feeling to like this is my first time with

COVID. It's a weird feeling to like eat something and be like I got nothing. I got nothing here. It's literally just texture in my mouth. I got nothing. That's awful. Um yeah, I've had COVID twice, but I never lost my sense of taste. I love tasting things. That sounds awful. It wasn't. I think I was terrified because like my sister got it, and she had like the year long, like long covid no taste stuff, and this is actually so I got it on. Like you

could taste that bud light. It's bad, baby, because you can't taste bud light even taste. Yeah, January third, and as of now it's like the twelve. This was my first time drinking since then. I could taste it. I could I taste the wine, I taste the bud light. I can taste cheese again. I don't. I think I was like eighty percent, But it's it's very nice to be back, Like you take things for granted, and you take taste and smell and stuff for granted,

and like it just fucking sucks when everything's just muted. You can't taste anything. It was terrible or Mary you talking about like having your your chief COVID tests of like you would just have like a bowl of blueberries or something, just like, yeah, it's my chief COVID test. I can yeah, yeah, I can taste them. So I'm good. Really sucked a lot worse than I thought, but I'm glad to be on the other end of

it. Now I'm glad you're on the other end of it too. It's definitely not an easy thing to get through, but um man, tasting things is so important, so you want yeah tasting all right? Well, thank you. That was Walter writing from Japan. Uh. Well that's the emails Mary. Tell people where they can go for some sick merch. Yeah. Uh do we have this written down somewhere four Wall? Well, no Christmas, Oh sick fire. That's so convenient. It's fire escape merch dot com

should take you to fourth Wall, hopefully Dorky Christmas dot com. I just tested dorky Christmas dot com. That works. That goes our Patreon, right, No, that goes to the fourth Wall. Okay, whoever owns all these don't switch him to porn. And if they do, then that was not us. There's a lot of good stuff on there, there's there's mugs. We've seen the stories of people using their mugs. There's like a water bottle um, really good shirts, including a shirt and banana yellow, which

was highly asked for. I haven't seen one fucking banana yellow shirt out in the wild, and that pisses me off. So somebody get a banana yellow shirt. You all ask for it. Hoodies, a crop sweater, which I think is great. I'd like to see Dan in that. Christmas I said, Dan, I dorky Christmas, A beanie sweater, coasters, and there's even matts. So there's a lot of good stuff on here. Mary. I really love your descriptions of all these liquid beverage container. Wow a

shirt, They're very good. You're gonna want those. The descriptions are even better. I tried to like have fun with them. The crop sweater one is have a belly tattoo. We've got the swag for you. Dorky Christmas dot com or what was the other firescate mergs dot com. If they do not go to fourth Wall, someone has changed me. That was not our fault. We accept no responsibility for where those lead Airtime company we have here, Dan, What can people do on Spotify. You should give it five

stars. You should go to the podcast and give it five stars. And again, if you're just feeling wacky, you know, go to go to the Besties, go to uh triple Click, go to min Max, go to you know, any number of other podcasts kind of funnies, The Daily by New York Times or something like, you know, get your jollies elsewhere. Um Ours is for five stars. So yes, go to fire Escape

cast on Spotify and give it five stars. Yeah, it helps. It helps us surface on the homepage for people to have not discovered us yet. H Outside of that, if you want the video version, if you want to add free version of the episode, if you're if you're sick of listening to us talk about boners, then please go to patreon dot com slash fire Escape. You would know how many fingers me and Mary are holding up right now if you were a Patreon video folk there. Look that. Yeah,

it's the important ones exclusive content there, sick thumbs, sweet fingers. That is a spoiler. Goddamn it. That's Patreon dot com slash fire Escape for all those sick bonos. Uh. And lastly, Dan, what do you have going on? I'm on Twitch, Dan ragerd Uh, that's kind of that's my thing. Yeah, I'm on the Twitch and giant Bomb dot com and the other one my full time job. Yeah dot com. Do you have a lot of fun new stuff going on. We're doing a bringing demo

Derry back. I'm gonna be coaching Jeff Grubb through a punch out. I talked about that a bit, but yeah, I'm mom. Check out the Twitch. That's great, ry Um. I'm mostly on the Twitch. I stream every Monday, typically stream indie games or whatever's coming out. I also work there, so that's where I spend most of my days. That in

the playground sick a little joke there, Oh is that fresh Prince? That's what it was, playgrounds where I spent most of chilling out max and relaxing, all go and all shooting some be ball out So I was cool one. A couple of going with your auntie and uncle and beller keep going. That was it. I'm a polygon. My fire and Boom Engage review is up there if you want to read some hopefully more coherent thoughts than what I was saying tonight. I think I was pretty coo. Here, do a

good job you need never know. Uh, we will be back with episode Oh god, I missed Max missed this up. Mix this up every time I think episode this is forty six. We'll be back with episode forty seven on January thirtieth. We're getting close to fifty. We are. It's a lot, and we're coming up on two years in April. Hell yeah, it's been fun. It has been a good time. It's been fun.

Thanks everybody for joining. Could have been anywhere in the world's might be, you chose to spend it here with us, And we'll see you in a couple of weeks. And thanks for waiting the extra day so I could talk about Fiery Emblem. Daisy, Daisy, Daisy, Bye bye, bye bye