Fire Escape Cast #103

Hello, everybody, Welcome back to the fire Escape Cast. It is episode one hundred and trace. I'm Michael Hardy here as always here with Dan Reikert.

Yeah, aye, that's me.

Sorry one hundred and twas Sorry Dan, I went low brow Spanish for a second.

Oh that's much better.

I only listened to French and Mary.

That's what I say. That's my catchphrase.

Wow, nice bag at nice? How's it going good?

I just got run this light outside when we do this, Yeah.

We've done a few this year. I feel like it's nice. I like it because it's not one am on the East Coast.

I like the late night podcast.

Yeah, I think you both do.

Yeah, I'm drinking coffee like it's so odd. And the light on my face isn't my my fake light ring light, which is like very glaring. It's the on.

I'm sorry, just a green wall at all times when I'm recording stuff here.

Yeah.

Do you have blackout curtains?

I feel like you Those are blue, but if you close them, the light doesn't come in.

Blackout curtains doesn't mean they're black. It means that it blacks out the sun.

It doesn't hurt though, if it is right I wonder how.

I mean it's extra if they're also black. Yeah, I wonder.

How different my bookshelf is from. Oh, Paul probably doesn't have a bookshelf.

No, he's got he's got some baseball books. He's got some like he had some old Stephen King stuff. Yeah.

There are like six wine books that are actually out for studying that are not on the shelf right now.

Wow, Yeah, he's got a lot of those. Yeah. I think you are you know, I think you are cool. You've got a passion and you follow it and you're on a passion about it. I respect it. I did.

Yeah, I'm over there and give you a niggy.

Yeah, I agree more with Mary.

Actually, that's fine.

I get on my side. Let's beat them up.

I have my test on May first for two.

All right, what different colors can wine be? Oh?

Fuck god? See this is why I need to study more blue.

Or red red? Is there a blue wine?

No?

They should do that gimmick words.

Like in purple white, like Surrah and pinotage like a bluish.

I got I'm gonna change the marketing of the wine world. Remember like in the nineties when pop Secret would do like oh, it's popcorn, but these are like pink and green and blue popcorn. Or here's you know, blue ketchup and stuff like that. I'm gonna start a line of wines and it's gonna be wacky colors and flavors, and it's gonna be like squeeze its. They will all have faces on the side of the bottle, and they'll all

Yeah, it changes the color of your tongue.

Wacky banana is to die for?

Can you put googly eyes on the bottles? I've always wanted.

This would get me more into wine. You'd get people like me.

And there's a lot of people doing similar stuff in like the natural wine world that are trying to make it, like yes, less stuffy and more fun, and they're.

One time during Christmas, I bought a bottle of wine because it came with a tiny Santa hat.

Yeah. Yeah, we need to gimmick up the wine industry.

Oh it's got so it was.

So cute and I was look at him, he's got a little hat on. Like if you put little cowboy hats on your wine, I'd be like, let's get them all got a industry is.

Just as gimmicky as video maybe not as video games, but it's close. Like there's.

I had to bust out the full name for that.

I'm not kidding.

Oh, Michael, there are some people that are trying some uh some questionable stuff marketing wise.

Are there wine pre order bonuses?

Oh? God, yeah, dude, people people like people. Uh with some of the most expensive wines in the world, you have to pre order and you only you get like a lottery to to order them. And then you yeah.

You don't get like a special catwoman level if you do it, Like what do you get if you pre ordered bonus? A wine?

You can peel off the lady on the other side. Okay, I mean I'm giving the wine industry free ideas.

Here you're pouring nineteen brunello and fucking foon Kay Johnson comes out of the bottle. Nice. I would buy that, that would be I would have questions about that.

What are those chocolates?

Kinder surprise already a wine bottle.

There should be wino surprises. There's a little plastic trinket in each bottle that you get that you might choke on, so there is a warning on the.

Cracker Jack Yes, yeah, or cereal.

You could have a cracker Jack wine with the special feature isn't even that it tastes good. There's just an item in there.

You get a cork that changes color based on like how wet it gets with the wine.

I mean.

The process was. It was cereals. Sometimes you'd get a plastic spoon that would be like, oh, it's neon green, but then when it touches the milk it turns blue. Thought, oh, they should have a cork that when it touches the wine it changes color. But that just happens.

I remember that serial gimmick, and that was really special. Your idea is faltered, but I do like your vision. There are there were beer bottles that I thought were cool that they the label changed color and the beer was cold enough to drink, of course, which is like it's real courses, it's red wine. But if it's too cold or too warm, the bottle gets all weird. Yeah, and it's like no, no nons to be classic room temp. Yeah, the actual wine colors, it's not the right thing.

You and this blue wine thing, you got to see it through blue wine? What the hell is the name of that comedian with the Guinness Coors joke.

That I love.

Uh he's from Colorado. No, hmm, I'll figure it out. He's got like, yeah, you guys.

Like a lick a stick, but it's like stuff. No, lick a stick is different. Yes, it means it does have the pixie stick stuff, but you lick the stick and then you dip it.

Those are fun sticks, right, fun dip but dip.

Yeah, we found a way we got.

I don't love those because like that you bite is chalky and weird. And I also I never like to as much as I like sugar, I need to be a part of something. It can't just be sugar.

I was just wondering, is there a way to bring the fun of fun dip to winem?

Could you make like a bowl of wine that you dip cheese into or something?

See I knew the cheese was somehow going to make its way into this conversation, but I don't think we're there yet. I'm thinking of like a fun straw that has like lots of different like swivels in it, but it's also a cookie.

Oh okay, well, I feel like it would get soggy.

It wouldn't survive long.

Yeah.

I like.

I like any gimmick where you eat the thing, like like a tortilla bowl, you know, where it's like, this is a vessel and then I eat it. I like it.

Or the hat from the Simpsons where it was like a Western hat and the cheese was in thee.

That specific reference got me into trouble because I made a bed ten years ago and Giant Bond was like, oh, I'll eat a hat if this thing doesn't happen, and I thought in my head, like, oh, it's no big deal. If I lose, I'll just go one of those from the Simpsons.

Yeah, because that is real.

Yeah, they don't. They don't exist for many many years.

I think there is.

There is a world in which have you ever seen those hats that have like two beers on each side?

I owned one.

Can they do that for wine?

Yeah? You just put words and you couldn't straw. Yeah, hat like a tricorn.

I just like the point of the side is that it looks really good at like a baseball game, you know, where other alcoholics are. But winos want to be like fancy, so it has to be something that like looks.

Like I think you guys need to spend more time around people who are railing a wine. They're not all every other wee. There's some oh yeah, true, other people besides me. It's it's not the most it's not always this glamorous thing.

In fact, it feels like most wine people are also into boats, which.

Well, yeah, boats are I agree.

So it's like a pair of sperries. But there's like a place where you can put mini wine bottles.

In the uh you got? I got some people to show you that are characters in the wine industry who are like the most down to earth farmers who would make stone Cold look preppy. Okay, yeah, I.

Would hang out with them, I know. No.

Yeah, whatever happened to the beer hats? I feel like I have one day They're bad.

I thought they'd be great, and then I got one as a gift one so I'm like hell yeah, And I put two beers in there and I drank a little bit and it's kind of hard and weird to drink with it, and then it's worse afterwards because it's like, I guess I probably should have found a way to actually clean it, but like beer just kind of stays in the straw, and it's not like you're using it every couple of days and keeping it flushed out, so it just gets gross and smelly and it's not good.

It does sound gross, especially if it's those fun windy straws that are like, yep, it could be pretty gross. I have a novelty beer baseball hat a bat that I got from the Portland Pickles. They have a baseball team, and you can buy a bat that's hollow, like a plastic bat, and you can fill it with beer and it comes with a lid. You know, it's like the bottom of the bat. You can screw it on and you can like swing with it and everything, and the

Yeah, it's my fault.

It's my fault. I could have rinsed the beer.

That handsome gimmick though, that's that's the type of stuff you need to bring the wine is because like that is a good gimmick. I feel like beer and like candy and kids foods have so many.

Good wine and a beer bat like you need to have like its own things. The juxtaposition, like a book. Yeah it looks like but when you open it, it's just straight up liquid in there and you have to hold it a very specific angle. Or all the wine phones.

Yeah, it's like people get those fake bibles that like hold guns, like, no do that with wine.

That blue one here is a fake book that's.

Your gun wine book. Okay.

Yeah.

If you pull it, the wall opens up and there's.

Like a gimp back there like oh yeah, yeah, you love that bit. You do that all the time. Rob does it too. I would love to hide that's I would. I could probably fashion a wine gun book. I don't know what they like.

I don't have anything to hide as far as like I don't have guns, weeds, legals, so I don't have to like hide weed. Like it's the nineties, Like I don't really need to tuck anything away. But I like the idea of that, you know, like a fake book or something.

Yeah, it's cooling.

Book just for the novelty of it. You don't have to put anything dangerous in there. But if you really want, I'll buy you a gun.

I don't think I want a gun, A little one. No, I've got a gun to shoot salt for when woods come out.

That's good for house flies. Yes, it's bursting. We use it for like mementos, like from dates and traveling and whatnot. I like playbills from stuff. It's just of Amanda. There's some there's some stuff in here that I can't show you. No, I'm just kidding, but like like name tags from people's weddings, we put it and whatnot.

Yet one of those boxes, Yeah, it's bursting.

I need a new one. But it's the night before Christmas. Throw them off. They'll never know what was that?

Wasn't the Scrooge thing? What is the night before Christmas? Is that just a poem or something?

Scrooge is Christmas Carol? Night before Christmas? Yeah, it's a poem through the house. Yeah you're sleeping. Not even or not a creature was stirring. Not even a mouse went out on the rooftop or rose such a clatter or something. It's not like I memorize the entire thing. Yeah, I'm not like, I'm not continually thinking about Christmas all the time. So I do singing a Christmas carol while we were making our bad earlier.

Also, all of his books are hollow, and they're filled with drugs.

It's not drugs. I mean it's legal. It's a drug, but it's legal. There's several one here.

I keep all my marijuana in a red dead redemption two leather caddy thing that rocks are something that I know exactly. Yeah, that's my that's my weed thing.

Yeah, my weed thing. Mine's in my grandma's candy dish. I don't know how she would feel about that, but I do like to keep her with me because my Carama was really cool. No, I don't think so. She really liked farm veil on Facebook, and she liked uh water aerobics, and she liked to make blueberry muffins.

This is some classic old lady stuff I like.

I know, she was a class she was she was a standard, but she was a knockout gal and I

I think that works. There's nothing inherently wrong with some weed. Yeah it's legally, Grandma would be. Yeah, yeah, it's legal, but it's stupid still some places like it's completely legal recreationally here, but there's a dispensary near me, but the dispensary laws are like fucking weird here, so I had to get a medical license. Oh that is weird, And it's just it's just one of these stupid charades you.

Give someone twenty bucks and they're just like you need it, and they give you a piece of paper.

You know, you get on a video call with some guy and you say, like, yes, I have anxiety and sometimes I have trouble sleeping. And you have to go through this whole thing and submit a form to the state and do all this stuff and then it costs money, right yeah, yeah, but then you're good for like three years and by the time that's up there will be actual recreational dispensaries.

Here I think so too.

Yeah, but like bars will sell THHD drinks. You can buy gummies and TC drinks at the grocery store, but for like actual like I like the vape cartridges and stuff like if you want to get flour or that, you have to go to an actual like medical dispensary. Still, it's weird.

Portland's always been like kind of the wild West for that stuff. We've always been the first to legalize. In fact, we criminalized all drugs. I don't know if you guys knew that.

Yeah, heroine stuff, didn't it not go well?

It has been great, but it's controversial of like literally if it's because like that's a bad idea or if the reality is like yeah, if you're if you're doing like a lot of hard drugs and stuff like that. The idea here was like instead of putting them into jail, they have to go to rehab because they probably shouldn't

I shouldn't joke. It's just it's just, oh no, I shouldn't joke.

There going on.

You had that like the policymakers in Portland or Oregon were like, holy ship, way more people like drugs than we expected. Yeah, popular, Yeah, I know the people. It's a serious problem. It's just like they did not they didn't correctly fathom how many people would need the rehab.

They didn't fund, which is probably like bigger, bigger controversy. But it is decriminalized I think currently as far as I'm aware, like you can do anything. We also had like free range on on like CBD and th HC in your drinks. So right right now, if you're getting a CBD soda. It probably came from a can because it needs to be regulated, you know, like they have to toss it in a.

Mountain milligrams max. Yeah, just like.

Beer, okay or wine.

Five years ago in Portland they would be like, do you want a slushy from our slushy machine. We're also adding like two droppers of THHC into it, and we feel like.

Just loosely, just like like jungle juice, shake it up with weed.

And if they're like feeling it, they just put more droppers in.

Oh, I don't like that. I like the I like knowing exactly how many milligrams I'm getting.

That insane telling you it was the wild West. There was a point in time, this was like before the government recognized that you really need to regulate this ship where Portland was just shoving it in any drink. You could add it as a bonus. You could be like, yeah, I'll have a you know, like I would like a whiskey soda and put two droppers of fucking weed in there too.

Oh my god.

An hour after Mary has a slushy, she's just at the table.

It did happen to me. I definitely did like accidentally like have way too much of my like dropper or whatever. At one point it probably happened to a lot of people, which is probably why they regulated the shit out of it. I just think like it's interesting because we're often the testing grounds of what ends up happening with the rest of the United States. So when everyone's like, it's so crazy, like you can buy weed now, but you know you

Oh, speaking of drugs, I watched Dread from twenty twelve finally.

Oh that's a great one.

The yeah, really good movie. Daniel record, like like Giant Bombies guys have been recommending. Well, the poster was in.

The poster up there.

Yeah, it's a good movie. Fantastic. What's the drug called? Like it as their perception of time.

I forget what it's called, but it's a very movie drug name. Yeah, that's the video of a movie. Yeah, that's right. It's a total video game of a movie. Like in the best way.

It's very It almost had Zack Snyder vibes, which I don't usually like maic book comic book like uh to put it like I had Sin City? Who did was that Zack Snyder? I think that it had like it definitely HD the comic book influence. But it was good. I liked it. Okay, Yeah, it's a good movie. If you haven't seen it, it's like an hour and a half of cool stuff. Carl like this. It's just really

More drugs.

There are a lot of good drugs, more tariffs, higher percentages.

No less eggs.

I'm gonna put all those on my soundboard.

Yeah, it'd be really good. Play it, but don't tell anybody who is saying it.

I don't know if I have that contex.

Yeah, I don't think I have like a you can you know when it's Jeff Grubb, you know when it's Mike Manatti talking.

I'm talking about the Glitter Day.

There you go. You don't really know it's.

Jack Stop in a rape Fores. What do you mean?

Can you guess? Who that is? Guess who it is?

Stop in a rate for Do you think it's back al Art?

I think it's Gilbert Godfrey.

Who is that? It could be anyone?

Yeah, I don't, Yeah, I don't. I think you could play a sound by me saying more tariffs, and I don't think people would know what it is who it is.

People would not know whom sun as Jack and Off in a rainforest cafe.

No, did he do that? Was that a thing? Oh?

Yeah? Nice?

I have more respect for him now I have less. That's fair.

He's listening.

I Mike it was low before. Does he listened fire Escape? Oh?

Yeah, yeah, he definitely does. And Mike, he kills him whenever we talk about like j RPGs and stuff. He hates it.

Hey, I like j RPGs. I submitted one for our top one hundred. Marry did not include it in the actual bracket though, which one PERSONA five and I and Kingdom Heart? Oh? Actually, Dan, you were very taken aback that I had Kingdom Heart. It does an honorable mention.

That is fucked up.

Yeah, I don't think you knew that I liked that game, Yeah, the first one, not the other twelve What did you don't.

Strike me as that guy? What do you like about it?

It's it's like mostly nostalgia. I played it is the nostalgia or no, no, no, no, just that game specifically the music, the soundtrack. That game is like the most I've ever been into Final Fantasy. No, that's not true. I like Final Fantasy six, but that's about it. Like remake was cool. I've not touched Rebirth yet, but I don't know something about Kingdom Hearts the vibes of it.

Well, then you should have put a higher on your list.

No, no, no, I'm not saying that shouldn't been there, but Persona five was high on my list. It was like number fifteen for me.

What's not?

Yeah? It was actually where was it? Let me look, I haven't played it five times like somebody we know, But.

Well, it would have been annihilated in the first round.

I don't even know. Yeah, very fair unless it went up against I just I was.

Like, if you guys feel really strongly about a game and you're like, it's very important that it's in this show, I was like, put it high on your list?

Does this look high brow to you?

What am I looking at it?

It's a wine zine called Noble Rot. Look at it?

A wine zine?

What about this looks high brow to you?

Uh, audio listener, he's got He's just got a wine zine. That's what else to say about this? I don't know what I'm looking at. It's essays about fucking wine with cartoons.

Yeah, first of all, none of these images have wines. I don't think it's a.

Very good direct.

You got a guy in an ascot drinking wine.

That's Benedett Cumberbatch. Kara writes for this magazine. She's super into wine.

She's it's a zine proven anything.

No, this is doing nothing.

You think that doesn't look like that?

That doesn't look like it's for wine.

Look at those?

Look at these pointing at a man's chest.

It's muscles. That's a bicep. It's a big one.

At some point they become boobies when that.

Look at I mean, we don't need to keep looking at your wine zines, Mike.

Look at this. Look at that little person. Nobody cares like hiking the bottom of the page. Look at this a vineyard?

What a weirdo?

Wine's cool into it?

Nobody don't at all. I'll take wine over Kingdom Hearts.

But I think it could be cooler, and I also think that's super fair.

Yeah, no, it could. I agree, everything could be cooler.

Number twenty five on your.

List, it's pretty low.

That's pretty much you busted out that wine zine to distract me from your hypocrisy.

Real piece of your laser focused today. Not expect that.

I'm not letting you get away with it.

She recommended you recommended a game and I played it, so good side.

Do we want to talk about video games now? Are we doing?

I mean, I think this is transitional and I'll tell you why. This isn't so much about like what games we've been playing recently. This is a game I played last EPI and I was like, I'm actually surprised with how much I liked it. It was completely shocking and like daring. I think it's a bit controversial, but I think it's I think it's great and I really recommend it. And it was called my side and I was like, I don't think Dan will probably play this, but I

But Dan wouldn't like, but you think that he would like it. It's about you have.

To get past that part. So a promise me you'll at least play like fifteen twenty minutes. And he was like, okay, well you boots this game up. I don't know, like Dan, you want to explain your experience. But like I'm in chat the whole time going like, please don't quit, please do not quit.

I didn't. I went for longer than I said I would.

You did go for longer than you said you would. There were some risky things, there was also stuff you liked, like cutting the vegetables, like the oh yeah.

Like a mini game. Yeah yeah.

The game has a lot of mini games where like this wife Fu girl is like, come into this game with me, and you like literally get sucked into the game and she's like, help me cook, and she's like, play it. Play a game with me. Play play like this shitty little like fake console game with me. And it was funny because you won, even though she's supposed to get like a lot better at the game, but you actually you're not gonna go easy on. Yeah, you

I forgot what it was that made me shut the game down. But that checks out.

That is literally weird.

I'm here and everyone in chat goes no, no, no, That's that's the moment.

Where it's not really good.

I'm not looking at some anime girls underwear. I'm not doing that. You get a patty wagon that's not having It's just.

You don't want it. You don't get yeah, carried away.

You're going to miss no I don't the forty year old buried man. I'm not looking at the anime and your pants.

That's what happens when you break the law. The cops come and throw you in a panty wagon.

No, not it where the phrase comes from? What is in her dresser that she's hiding? I don't know.

I got the fuck out of there.

It's a really big spoiler, but it's kind of where the game takes a dark twist.

Oh, Dann's stomach some underwear. Yeah.

The concept of this game is that it starts like a cute little wife ou sim but it gets really dark, and that's I think, what's so interesting about it. But the more I say, the more it spoils all of the twists and turns of this game. So what was such a bummer is that Dan got through all of the like mini games of cutting carrots and vegetables and playing games with his like little WIFEU girlfriend, and then the second she said underwear.

He was like, ah, look you give me some marioware cooking mom of many games. I'm game to go along with that. But if you start talking about underpants in an anime game.

But Princess Peach is like stay away from my undie drawer. You're like, I hate this game out of ten.

Yeah, Princess Peach started talking about her pennies, I would disavow Mario.

Yeah right, you jay it.

I would have major issues at Princess Peach in the Switch to Mario game was like, check out my penties. I'd be like, I don't know what happened to Memoto. This isn't the Miamoto. I know the Switch to.

Direction that's the launch game next to Mario Kart. Whatever is Princess Peaches panties panty raid.

To catch them?

Not doing metric for playing the Panty Princess game.

And the sequel, Jack Off Mario.

Look, if Jack Off Mario is a switch to Launch game, that will be bold in a way.

I would that they're kind of you know the haptics. Yeah, it's an HD translation and it means something different. Yeah, really translation.

I have done this in the mini games and enjoyed it.

But let's check an episode in Mario Party. That's totally innocent. I'm not whacking off Mario.

All the time, totally innocent. I think that like we're skirting a line here, and I don't think her saying she's gaslighting you. In that scene, she's saying, don't go in there. That's where I keep my panties to prevent you from wanting to go in there.

It worked.

I would leave, I would leave the facility and call the police off. That happened.

But that's how she tricked you, because there was there was something in there that was worth seeing.

It wasn't're easy easily manipulated dance.

She manipulated you, and she she won. I think you should boot it up again. Manipulated, and I think you should open up the closet and see what's in there.

Nope, already on insult. I gave it a shot. I did what I said I was gonna do.

They burned it in the backyard at FBI.

I just wanted to let you know that the soon as she brought up panties, I have deleted this game.

And I did two rosaries. I called the FBI. I did everything I was supposed to do.

Dan gets taken to guantanamo because he continues playing the game. Yeah, people get thrown in there for less.

That's true. Yeah.

Uh let's yeah, let's talk like torture and tariffs and uh.

Things.

Yeah, talk about games? Do you want to talk about the games? All right, we're back. What we're saying, you're just about to like talk shit about someone because you didn't know I was coming back yet from the break. What were we saying, Yeah, yeah, go ahead, tell the people, tell the people, MIKENI Oh no, Mike, I do too.

He's like one of my favorite people, so do I.

But you were just talking about him, Mary? What were we saying? All right, so we talked about my side, I mean the clitoris and that we talked about the clitorists. Okay, I'm very curious. I have ac Shadows downloaded, Dan, I believe have you both tried it?

I've tried it, but I'm only two hours in.

I'm like, that's a decent.

You're the one, and then I have questions for you because I'm enjoying it so far, but I'm very early in.

Yeah, I'm excited to try it.

I I historically have greatly disliked the Assassin's Creed serious. The only one I liked enough to beat was the second one, and even then I thought that was like, that's a good eight out of ten game. It kept my interest. There wasn't a lot else that I wanted to play at the time. So I don't love it, but it's you know whatever. And I haven't even really touched the last couple, like just the settings, and it was like grease and stuff just I don't know big

I'm sorry, I just fucking love the guy who doesn't like stealth in his back.

I heard your solid I heard a million times. But also I second stealth in the Metal Gear games too. I just like the story up.

That'll not gonna beat it that horse. Sorry.

I think that Dan is like it's compartmentalizing because he has PTSD from some kind of wartime trauma, and so he's gotten really good at putting certain parts of his brain in a box.

And I don't talk about Korea.

Yeah, you can have thoughts that should not align, and they can both be Dan.

Yeah, he's a complex human being. I agree you were talking about shadows. Stealth has separate sliders. I think Valhalla and Odyssey had that as well.

Okay, but those seemed especially boring even for Assassin's screen like the setting. I just I just something about the big axes and ship like I'm sure you can get swords and stuff. I don't know that just Viking.

Ship and all that Valhalla specifically. Sure he was grease, completely different millennium.

Probably it's their neighbors, Like I don't know the same thing analization from.

Nasty neighbors in any sense time or geographically.

History major, Yeah, I'm sure they're wine Field didn't interlink.

I'm not a history major. I just played both games, not talking.

Out of my ass because I don't know what I'm talking about.

One of his books back there gave all this insight.

Yep, I guess I'm just trying to say that Ninjas seem cool, yes, and the other stuff didn't seem cool tonight.

Yeah, I agree Ninjas and US is samurai correct?

Well? Yeah, And like I played ten hours, and like I played as the guy for like the very beginning, and then you switch to the Ninja lady very quickly, and it's like, oh man, hell, I'm super mobile, and like I got this grappling hook, and like it actually felt really good. Like I used to hate the climbing mechanics of Assassin's Creed. I felt like that just the controls never did exactly what you want them to do. I'd hop off buildings without meaning to and all this shit.

And the slicing of the uh there's like baskets of stuff, and when you're killing people with your samurai sword, if you slice through a basket, slices down at this like fun angle, like it really was sliced with a sword, not you know what I mean. It doesn't just cut in half or explode. It looks sliced through with a sword. It's but that's fun like that in the little details to make you feel like you're throwing a sword around totally.

Like there's those little satisfying things that just like you wouldn't expect, not like a scripted thing. It's just like, oh man, okay, I just dove through this paper door and stabbed a dude, and like that type of shit's

Like mercenary to kill everybody, you know, Oh, I was just killing everyone.

There is that that sounds almost like the fact that there was supposed to be this gravitas around the kill and there wasn't almost sounds bad.

No, I think it's awesome because it's like I like that about an open world game where it's like, sure you can follow the quest and everything and get all the story stuff and then wind up killing him. But in real life, like you know, sometimes you just run across an evil guy and well, I guess that doesn't happen in real life.

But I think parents is my point. Okay, no, no, no, right, I'm really not trying to show on this. I I like, I'm excited to play this and I've played every single Assassin's Creed, every single one. I love this series.

But do you play like Mercenaries Playground of Destruction?

Have I played Mercenaries player? I am Mercenary? Have I? Okay?

Okay, all right, I figured it seems like a my game. Okay, yeah, all right, So what you know the Deck of fifty two thing, and it's like the same thing. You could be like just driving around the mountains or in a helicopter's like oh shit, there's the Jack of Spades and you go down there and you crash a helicopter in his head and kill them. That they gave me that type of feeling like I can just find these guys in the world and kill them.

That's good.

And so yeah, that's that's all to say that. Like for the opening hours, there was just a lot of stuff that I was like, oh shit, this is clever, this is cool, like it's clearly a very well made game. But I also was knowing the whole time that like, oh, as soon as something comes along, like right now, I'm not I don't have any new games I'm playing. Really, as soon as something does come around, I'm gonna probably drop this and fall off and not come back, like

Are they doing a good job of encouraging you to play as both characters? Are you just sticking to that come back?

I've only had I saw the guy at the very beginning, during like a tutorial, and then I've been now a or you know, the girl for like eight plus hours and has not even mentioned the dude again. I can't It's not a GTA swap back to him type thing yet. I don't know. Maybe he does want to go back to them.

Yeah, because I liked I love Assassin's Creed Syndicate the London Industrial Revolution one with Jacob and Evie brother and sister. That was super cool because you could.

Choose which story you were watching based on which one you were swapping too, and.

That that was more of a case of they both function the same way. Their animations were just very different. He was more brute forest brass knuckle kind of stuff. She was like acrobatic and stab in between specific ribs kind of fighting. But I was curious. I had seen in previews that use the case, for instance, cannot crawl through small holes like she can. Have you encountered artificial stuff like that? That's like, oh, he can't do this very menial thing.

Hard to say considering I haven't played at them, or rather.

I guess in your case, have you seen anything that she can't do that he supposedly can?

I know that she can. Can he grapple because when we played is Him, all he did was fight sequences, And she's the one who is acrobatic and has the grapple and the ability to like tiptoe and like swan dive and stuff like that. So I would be surprised if they have a grapple for him, But maybe they do, oh like the grappling.

Hook then yeah, oh yeah.

It's like her thing is silent Assassin. That's like her whole mobile bag and every time we play him, it's like you're in so you're in war, can't go kill all these people? Well, and you just throw your sword around.

Like maces and shit, too right, I've seen he gets like these like long sticks.

Later on, Yeah, he has heavier and I think he's like more about there's like a perry system and stuff to make sure that.

Uh.

But what I found was interesting is like when you're when you're doing combat as him, it's like, here's how you perry, here's like how you dodge. Just make sure. And then as soon as you play as her, they were like, if you see this red light, that means it's an unpariable right attack, you have to dodge it. And that was not shown with the guy.

So he's more brude force like and yeah, yeah, okay.

Yeah, but I I but today point we haven't. We haven't played as I swear. You play as the guy for like the first thirty minutes and you kill a bunch of people, and then I played as the girl the rest of the time, and I really liked her. But she has a totally different combat style and she's much more focused on, you know, dance up this wall, get behind them, and then stab them in the neck, and that's what she'd like, that's her thing.

But you you sorry if you said this already. Have either of you gotten to the point where you can switch at will if you want.

To help you? No, I literally have not seen the guys. The first thirty minutes.

I thought you were doing that choice.

No I did. Yeah, the game has not acknowledged that man.

For like Tanna, it's all about her and her mask journey. She's trying to get this mask. She's very upset about it. Every time she's riding her horse, they always add in, you know, dead in the little horse pieces of Oh the horse is actually quite effective. You are fast on this horse. It's really fun to to be able to ride a horse. But when you're riding a distance, they'll always say something and she's always like, I've got to get that mask back, and it's just like I know

That I don't a mask at all. What I thought they just like killed your dad or something.

The moon's falling to Earth and you got three days to beat the game.

Oh I see. Yeah, I was gonna say, Oh, I wonder if they're not saying it as much with me, or if I just forgot. I probably just forgot.

It's the second at Yeah, you're probably like, we're looking at you know, blue sky, and then the cut scene had ended, and you like the game.

I'm so popular.

No, I'm not a phone game guy. I'm really not.

No, I know, to your credit, you you don't. You're not like a on listening to podcasts while you watch movies. You're very attentive with with movies, but with games.

Actually, honestly, with with this that was so boring, and I did give such zero ships about the story that I did wind up like listening to podcasts and stuff and just running around, jumping up buildings and finding treasure chests and stuff.

I do like jumping around, though. I think I think it is a really well made The scene I played with the girl, which is by the way to get the mask back. It's the very first thing you do with her. Dnne Okay, well, I think it was extremely well designed. The space was designed for you to play and be able to like hop, skip and jump your way through the building. That feels good to you. I

They had that across the whole open world, Like I remember having that thought when there's like these big pirate ships in the ocean. I don't know if you went there, but like you can climb on you can climb up to the very top of these masks and all this stuff, and the pirate ships are conveniently close enough to where you could jump from like the top of a mask onto like you know, the board on another one. And it's like but like Mary said, it's not like, hey,

Yeah, I think it's it's been constructed in a way that for the first time in a long time, I feel like it's encouraging you to play with the space design and run around like a fun little ninja that you are. I did not want to be discovered. One time I was accidentally discovered, and I actually I restarted because I was like, I don't want to fight my way through this space. It is more fun for me

Yeah, And I appreciate the level of like accessibility stuff and you know, just combat and like the options, Like more options are never a bad thing, And I was impressed at the suite they give you in this.

I agree. I think people are really liking it. I'm gonna be playing it some more. It's kind of taken place of a vowed right now for me because it's it's my console game of choice. Right now I'm gonna play. I'm gonna play a lot more of it. I owe a lot more of it, and I am looking forward to it.

Uh, Elephant in the room. Yeah, I think there's like discourse online going around about oh, like Ghost of Sushima already did this. Better half of me is like, I think they kind of shot themselves in the foot. You'd be soft way back in the day when Alex Hutchinson was like, oh Japan's too obvious or whatever, Like I think that sets them back of it too obvious. But also I think there's more room. There's room enough for more than one open world game.

So different to me too, Like I.

Love, for the record, I love Ghost Sushima, and I'm not saying I can't enjoy this as well. I'm saying, is there any like it does it's doing, it's separating itself from that different I.

Mean, there's a lot of just Assassin screed shit in this where it's like you were climbing tall temples and stuff like that that like, you know, I don't remember the amount of like vertical mobility in Sushima that this has.

It's more for sure.

Yeah, yeah, It's just it's got a different vibe to it. I think, I I think I probably prefer Sushima. But yeah, it doesn't. This doesn't feel like, oh, it's just another one of those.

Cool I Like I said, I could very well like them both. I'm going to play Shadows tonight if I get time, because I really like I like Assassin's Creed. I've been There's even been titles I've kind of been an apologist about. I did not like val HeLa whatsoever. I got bored to death. I liked Odyssey, but it got overloaded activities. Bloated Origins is my favorite Assassin's creed of all time, So like, I'm curious to see what they do with this new chapter.

While we're comparing two games, do you mind if I transition to a game that I keep comparing to another game?

Go for it?

So I'm finally playing. I think it's called split Back Sweciction.

Yeah.

Yeah, I wrote it as split Faction because I cannot remember.

I was trying to remember the game I read that. I was like, wait, what the fuck is the name? I know that's wrong.

It's such a memorable title. So Dan, you played this last EPI and you were talking about how you were actually really enjoying it. You played as pigs who fart and stuff like that, and you said it was like really creative. So I was excited about it. So I also got this game and have been playing it. I have to be three fourths through this game. I feel very feel like I've almost beaten this game. Have you beaten the game? I'm just curious, Like what, No.

Bonk was a GDC for like a week, so we had to take you know, I don't think i've played since last time I talked about it. We are going to go back to it. But yeah, yeah, you're beyond me at this point.

Oh okay, great, Well, I just I've had a little bit of a different experience than you. I I do think that it is creative, and I think it's really interesting that you can play in lots of different spaces, Like you're in sci fi. Then you're like in this like magical farm with giant vegetables that is actually quite cute. I got to this area with like giant giants and you're running between their hands, so they like come and scoop you up with their fingers and you like jump

And just the one where there's like the bamboo things and like the ocean thing can like move you while you're holding out of the bamboo and you're going through a river. Does that sound familiar?

It's I don't know if I'm seeing I don't know if I can place exactly what you're visually saying. But there is a point where, like the otter is like moving my stuff in the water so that I can get past brambles and like nets and like stuff. I don't think it's an ocean, it's it's like an underwater cave. So okay, okay, anyway, I think there's some really cool, interesting stuff that this game is doing. I do really like that you can play into very different environments, right

I guess Devil's advocate on that point, because like, I do agree with you in that, like it is very simple, Like the controls are very much like, Okay, in this area, you have you know, your R two does this, and then you can just basically jump and dash. You know,

Don't forget to shoot the balloons. Yeah, like it's it's constantly telling you what to do, so you feel really busy and really valued both players at any skill level, And I will, I will acknowledge I think you are right that I think this is for lots of people at varying skill levels, so that you could play this with your younger brother, you could play this with like your girlfriend who like kind of is cool with your game, you know, hobby, but might not really want to play this,

Could crawl interesting.

Yeah, I think there are other games that are doing it way better, and I.

Think it's a bummert. I definitely prefer Portal too.

It's a fucking decade old, you know what I mean. Like this, we keep saying like, can you believe this games for two people? And I'm like, yeah, I actually can. There's a lot of games that do that. So, like, I don't think it's like this extraordinary innovative thing. I think that the idea that this game is getting this high praise for doing it. Maybe it's because it's doing it in such a handholdy way that we feel like everyone can participate and partake. But I think maybe it's hook.

I think the thing is that that couch co op, which people misuse that term all the time. They think it's any time it's the same room. It's not co op. No, this is legitimately, couch co op is not a thing as much anymore. He used to so be a thing, you know, all through the eight and sixteen bit and beyond era, Like there is so much that And I think since you kind of got online games and stuff like that, and you know, multiplayer shooters and all that stuff,

Is compared to the other games of its magnitude. I think that if you want to play a game with your little niece who's not very good at games, I would recommend ray Man Legends, which is extremely good for both levels of play and is extraordinary designed to have co opic experiences with other people where you can have fun. I think that there are like Mario games that do us extraordinarily better.

But even like Raymond Legends, you know, like that was over a decade ago. I think, you know, so that that's all just that's right. I don't think there's.

Been so much room for improvement in a decade. I I just I think I am disappointed that, like the fact that they're making these So Okay, I hear your point. I think what I'm saying is is like this game is getting a lot of praise that it's doing something that games aren't doing anymore, which I think means there is a hole in the market for co op games that we should be filling.

I agree.

I am in agreement with that. I would love way more co op games to be in the market. I think that this game is like really limited with what it's doing, but I can see why everybody's obsessed with it, and I think it's because it's doing something that everybody wishes they could be doing more with their friends, which is just like playing games together and enjoying like a nice co op experience.

That's fair. Yeah, I think that's totally fair.

Okay, that's it.

That's my ultimate way. Yeah, I'm not like, you know, I think it's a very really.

The story sucks and they're acting as such. Sorry, I don't think it's they're acting. I think the writing is like so exhausting. They fucking did it again. Instead of having two people who are getting a divorce, which is like Jesus Christ, dude, now it's two women who have complete opposite writing styles and don't respect each other, and so you know, they'll be in one of their worlds and the other one will be like you wrote this, like are you okay, and it's just like, okay, well,

That that, Like do you live in the country, you idiot?

You live in you idiot.

Yeah, it's like country bumpkin versus like city girl who owes money to a financial investor or something like that. And it's so obvious what they're doing, but.

It's incredibly on the nose and obvious. And yeah, I will not defend the writing at all. I just yeah, it's just that roller coaster co op thing. I do like it a lot, but I'm also not going to like, you know, die on the split fiction hill or anything like that, like be my top ten or anything.

I'm gonna complete it. I think it's I think it's doing its job, and I do enjoy playing with other people. I think this is going to be just like the other one, where it's like I suspect that this is going to be like one of these things where everyone's like, this is a game of a generation, everybody needs to play this, and I'm like, I don't. I don't agree. I don't think this is like super monumental. I think

Oh, I'm totally with you, and like it takes too I had a lot of fun ideas and stuff, but by the end, Bunk and I were like, all right, this is going on too long. And then like when one Game of the Year and stuff like, oh boy, that was fun for a bit, but that is a game of the year, is crazy, you know.

Yeah, we all had the same reaction to It Takes two, which was like, that was a great experience. It ain't gonna be in our top ten. Yeah, same, Yeah.

No, I think we were closer than a may seem on our opinion on this.

Yeah, what's et.

Et for the Atari twenty six? Based on the Steven Spielberg film Transition?

Wait, the original et from like thteen Dickity two.

Yep, the one that was so bad and they had to bury it in a landfill. Famously, it's stuck in like a hole? Right, oh, so many holes. I got stuck in a billion holes. Well, it started as a Blake club game, and I'd beat.

Those who don't know that is the Giant Bomb Show where they like just play.

The worst games of all time. Yeah, and I got stuck with e T. It's the worst game I've ever beaten, for.

Sure, No, you beat it.

It is.

It's very short. It's just it's impossible to figure out what the fuck you're supposed to do, and you're just non stop falling into holes and it sucks ass. It looks like shit, it's an old.

Titar game emulated emulator or did you play it on?

I played through Grubbs sent me one of those Atari twenty six D like the new It's basically like the NES classic where you're like HD. So I played with an Atari joystick. Okay, I played on the actual cart so I. Actually it wasn't emulated. It was the cart of ET. It is a piece of shit. Uh fast forward? Uh you know, six five or six days after that Blake Club episode, I am currently the number ten speed runner of that game in the world.

What nobody else wants to play it? I finish this game.

There's not a ton but I am number ten in the world at speed running ET. I did.

Going on that and move up.

I don't intend to play.

The game some more?

Are you? I know? I did? I did.

It's not good, but it's a funny thing to me to be one of the ten best in the world at So that's where I'm at now with ET the Extraterrestrial.

How long is it to be?

My last time was under two minutes. Oh oh yeah, one minute forty three seconds is my number ten world?

How did you fill the number one?

Number one is let me see the percent know RNG manipulation leader board is fifty nine seconds, so only one person in the world is done under a minute.

Oh you could do that.

You should do this fucking game.

It's not my time.

Yeah, there, get in there, sop it up. Fucking like how I don't fully understand how you even beat in two minutes.

It's just very random. There's like six map screens and you have to go around and not fall in holes, which is the hardest part, and then you have to like randomized you have to get three pieces of your fucking phone and you have to e T phone home, but then you have to like to call the spaceship. There can't be any other characters on the screen, so

So that leaderboy that says no RANG manipulation, do they just mean they didn't just restart immediately when they got a bad No, you can do that.

But the thing is, you can guarantee the same layout of where the phone pieces are if you start the first frame when the game starts up. So if you turn on the atari wire like holding in the button, you can guarantee the same seed each time. So it's like, I know this piece is here, this piece is here, this piece is here. So you can't do that for the leader ward, I'm on, how do.

You know that that guy didn't do it?

You think?

I mean, all the videos have to be on speed run dot com so you can see, like if it's on the title screen for even half a second, again, they're not doing or org.

That makes sense. Yeah, it's interesting. I love the speed running community. They's so crazy and like they the levels of obsession and interest. It intrigues me greatly. And all the rules that they create because they don't want people cheating to get these top scores. To me, the number one person just literally played this game for a very very long time until they got super lucky.

So yeah, it's a it's an infuriating thing to do, but it's it's very fun when you succeed.

It's in there, Dan, it's under a minute.

Ruin your life? Yeah, yeah, what.

Else are you doing?

What is uh? What's wander Stop? So you wrote it? You wrote it. Your order is dumb because I wrote it after on the list it's below this other game. But then in parentheses you said talk about this before the game instead of just rearranging.

Well, that was just to make sure you were paying attention. I mean, like I wanted you.

I'm always on my What's wander Stop? And I will not ask about spilled yet?

Such a good transition. Wander Stop is the new game by I hope I say that Davy Redden, Okay, this Stanley Parable and the Beginner's Guide. This is like a person who like is a very creative writer, but a very different game than Stanley Parable or The Beginner's Guide, very different than all of the games that the studio that, like the studio heads have made previously. This game is

I I've seen.

Lots of talkie to be able to explain her mental anguish, her like frustration with like not being at the level that she wants to be at, her like disappointment, or of her own expectations of herself. And so the beginning of this game is like a straight up twenty minute narrative overview of why she is so fucked in the head. It helps paint a picture. I do not like twenty minutes of dialogue, so it really it was a bit

Perhaps I see. Okay, so there's a reason that they're doing that.

I suppose they have at that point.

Like, why give the option?

I give me three options if they're all mean. Mechanically, I really like the design of this space. I think it's beautiful. The tea shop is stunning. I love all

That's a great way of putting it. I feel like I know exactly what you're talking about with that, Like yeah, you like if you play like cook Served Delicious, Yes, where it's like those games were just like, yeah, let's go like that is a certain thing that you expect from like you know, cooking and serving and stuff like that. And it sounds like this is definitely going for a

Not have a twist you a little bitch.

Thing that made him is just like a certain way, and then people have this certain expectation like, oh, this worst the twist. Oh I'm sure it's gonna be a little team making game. But then it's like you make an actual team making game.

Yeah, has Sean made a movie where just nothing changes to fuck with people? And that's like everything happens exactly as it plays. I haven't watched his last like six, I've.

Only seen a couple of a twist.

I feel like all of them have such sense.

I mean, I haven't watched a while. That movie is really fucking good.

Last it was incredib I haven't seen it since the n but like it was awesome. Yeah, it's just a great movie.

And also is one of the most underrated actors, especially in horror, with Arister pulling her back out for Hereditary. I like Signs.

I like saying I thought Signs that was one of my favorite movie theater experiences until like I did not like the end. I know that's the common thing, but like had a twist.

Yeah that's a twist though, is it.

No, It's like I think, Okay, good point, good point. I think I think that movie was very much him trying not to do a twist where it's like all all the signs where there the whole time leading up to this, like they're allergic to water. They're like it's toxic to them. He always swung and thought wrong not to swing. Yeah, he had asthma, so there his lungs were closed up. It's like Shraumalaan saying there wasn't a twist. I was everything happens. That's why he was a priest.

I'm done with this guy.

Yeah, a lot of people I get it, but like I like that movie.

Oh, I hated that.

I don't blame I didn't care for the Village.

I do think it had good world building, but I just think sometimes it it kind of sucks the fun out of the room when you're.

Like what, I didn't like the twist. I just like the I like the entire movie until he revealed what was really happening.

I think that's where I was. I think that made me mad and then like I didn't see the trees. Trees were trying to kill Mark Wahlberg.

That's happening. Yeah, dude, good movie. Oh lady.

That am I a.

Huge Shyamalan fan, and I'm just really weirdo. Have you seen Lady in the Water?

No, I done.

Us of a movie.

I love it.

It's so stupid. It's that's It has.

A character who only works out one side of her body, and so one of the one of theirs is super buff and the other one.

He's the pool guys. Oh, it's like a motel hotel where there's like, what's her name from the village, Bryce Howard. Yeah, she's in the Lady in the Water Again. I think Shyamalan probably shows up at some point. The dude from Moonrise Kingdom, balding guy, the the two camera stuff and Moon Rise Kingdom, he's in Lady in the Water. But Lady in the Waters whole thing is Shyamalan like deconstructing fiction and it sucks.

That was awesome.

He's like, Oh, this is your role in the story, and then everybody misunderstands their role in the story, and then once they figure it out, it all works. There's like a secret grotto in the deep end of the pool. Oh my god, it's fucking awesome. The happening was also sick and what was the what was the twist in the happening?

Like it was to kill you?

No, that wasn't the twist. That was the premise.

Oh I just heard, like I said, I was done after the village and everyone that came after. I was like, what's the twist?

And reel as well. I think the I think the twist was that it just stopped once it had killed enough humans. It was, you know, the last of us, the cordyceps. Yeah, the fungus is like apparently it pops up in ant colonies or something when it's like senses that they're getting too they're imbalancing the ecosystem. I think the happening was like that plants were like, they're they're destroying us. Let's kill the humans and they kill enough

My friends saw that in theaters and halfway through the film, he predicted that the twist was that it was going to zoom out and that it was going to be m Night Shamalan making the movie because it was so bad that the twist was going to be this movie's falling apart because the acting is so poor and that and the the director is freaking out. But then that never happened, and the movie just.

Ended expecting that to be. The twist has to be intentional.

No, they just didn't get it. Did you see a big Mark Wahlberg? Guy? No, I hate you.

Seem like you might be a big Mark Wahberg.

Yeah, I respect him love Yeah, I actually don't. Yeah, he's got rained and have you seen the Fighter? I don't know. I think he's a good dude. He talks taking baths, he loves Jesus. What's not to like?

All the stars, all the stars of that?

Have you? Oh? Actually? Oh ship? I went to one episode filming of Jimmy Fallon and Mark Wahlberg was the main guest. Oh nice, And he made Jimmy Fallon take an ice bath in his suit.

Oh my god. There's videos of him and like those two talking to each other sounds like the thing conversation.

It's like two robots trying to explain.

To AI who are.

Yeah, it's it's a touring test where neither of them knows their computers either.

You like ice baths, that's true. I do like ice baths.

Have you heard of this? Jesus, dude, I have an n FT I have an n f T. It looks like my brother Donnie, and Jesus. Donnie was in Brandon Brothers, so he's better than I am. The Have you seen Devil, that's the one in the elevator elevator? Yeah, Allen's I love it. I love it. It's just the old woman the whole time. I'm sorry I'm spoiling it, but I'm pretty sure.

That is a huge spoil Yeah, it's.

Been forty years. No one's gonna watch it anywhere.

It's also it's also bad.

It's a bad movie. I'm saving it. I remember I spent a Apple gift card on that movie on iTunes. Oh my god, so like I have buyer's remorse, so I'm like, oh, it was a sick movie. I spent that eight dollars. Really well, anyway, it's like a.

Game where you're trying to you actually have the ability to plant seeds, and if you plant seeds in a particular order. These are the things that I like about the game. I think there are things that I just did not understand right. I don't think I agree with it narratively or like what it's trying to make me be, but I like the mechanics of it. Making tea is super fun, and designing plants and growing plants is very fun.

You can do, you can do appreciate like cozy games that are just cozy games, Like on the surface they're a cozy game. When you dig in their cozy game.

Like, that's what I trying to like speak to something deeper that's no longer cozy. It's about tariffs, Like like like the movie Sign, I thought it was just about I thought it was just about a family living on a farm, and turns out it's about faith and predestination. I just get, let me have these aliens invade this cornfield. I and then yeah, it's my favorite movie of all time. But I still would prefer it was just a simple farm alion.

I think if this game was mostly about building tea and at the very end she was like, man, I had a lot of trauma, but this solved it, I actually would have liked it. Much like Shyamalan. I think my struggle is that the very beginning of this game is all about trauma and like tension and dealing with inadequacy. And I was like when do I get to make the tea? So I think you need to be patient with this game. I think it's for a very particular audience.

Yeah, there's a game on the tip of my tongue that like does that, or there's several games where like, I really think you hit it out of the park already with the mechanics and the simple like gameplay premise, you're trying too much. You don't have the writing chops, and even if you did, I don't want that here. Like, I guess it's cool to like kind of Trojan Horse a story like that into something that seems much simpler than it is, But I always I usually just get annoyed.

Yeah, this game is extremely charming. It's extremely charming if you like look. Yeah, the visual style. Oh, can I just say one more thing that I love about it, which.

Is what's spilled?

Talk about spill the tea cup system. When somebody drinks a cup of tea. Now the cup is dirty and so you need to wash it. They have a cute little train that runs through a waterfall, and so you put the dirty cup in the train and it goes through waterfall and it comes out to game.

I like that. I'm a huge sucker for trains inside, like tiny trains in side places like restaurants and stuff.

Esthetically, this place is it is whimsical. It feels like you're in a kid's candy store again. I feel like it like it's like sucked out of like Hogwarts or like some magical children's fantasy. It's beautifully designed. It's so pretty. I want to play in there all the time. I just do not want to have trauma.

That's fair. I think that's a reasonable request.

Yeah, so I asked. I asked Mike to wander Stuff first because I also played a game called Spilled. This game is extremely simple. I just want to preface that this is the other half of wander Stop, which is Spilled is a game where you are a tiny tug boat and you are cleaning up oil spills and garbage and debris. And when you do that, you get money which you can build a bigger boat that has it's faster, you make get more efficient. It is literally like just

It's just where it is that you're referencing, none.

Of But I just say I was imagining what this game's narrative would have been.

But then the oil spills and it becomes this existential consideration on a metal level. Offs oh god, well it's oh god. I'm just I'm just formulating my waypoint pitch before I do it. I'm not making I love point. I miss sorry.

There's no there's no there are there are like little animals, but they don't there's no narrative. It's just like you see the oil and you go clean it up. This game is short. I just want to preface like this is this is an indie ass India, and this is made by like one person as far as I'm aware, and it's very simple. I beat it within an hour, so like keep that context in mind.

This is like I feel like when you said, like, oh, it's called spilled and play as a little tugboat that cleans up oil, it sounded like something Mike would make up for the merry ass Game of the Year.

Spell to an exclamation point.

Yeah, I think this game is really cute. It sets out to do what it wants to do, it completes that task really quickly. As you upgrade your boat, you get to like shoot water out of your little tugboat, which is so cute. And then there's like fires in some of the environments, and so you're putting out fires.

Like, thank you.

I was so devastrated. This is just an animal. You clean it up and then it flies away and that's nice.

What is going on in the world building that there is a giant black cat on the shore.

They don't explain anything. There's No, there's no narrative of this game. You're just playing cool. That's it.

The size of a windmill. Yeah, okay, I know this game is.

Very dewey and it it's that's it. You're just in the world and you're cleaning up oil. Period done. That's my pitch. I enjoyed it. It was one hour. It was I felt I felt relieved when I finished playing it. I was like, I cleaned the ship out of that world game.

This makes me want to go back to uh to two years ago the boat the fishing game.

Oh, Dredge.

Dredge was so fun. They have the Arctic or Antarctic DLC. I haven't played it. I might just go restart.

That game was really I haven't played the DLC either, and I think that was my goady, Like was it two years ago?

Yeah?

I loved that game.

God That Wild Those That and Outer Wild both have DLCs that I want to play, and I have distanced myself from both games enough that I want to go back and replay.

I'd love to try the DLC About a Wild again because like, that was my game of the year, and then the DLC I could not get it, and I should go back and.

I had the narrative I didn't know where to go, and I was like, really, I was like, the space is really big and it took it takes time to have a whole twenty four hour cycle yep. So going somewhere and then having it not be the right direction is kind of defeating. I do think that's a part of the game, which is like, oh, I wasted today, I better try again. But I quit for the same reason Dan, which is like, if you're gonna fucking drag my ass all the way to Mars, there better be

Yes, exactly. That's a game I'm not against, like you know, button my head against something and dying and stuff. That was a big part about her Wilds. But I did feel like I was able to deduce things in like the DLC. I was kind of like, I've done this loop ten times. I don't know what the funck I'm supposed to do here, and that was more frustrating than the fun for me.

Okay, well, I do want to go back to that and dredge though that Dredges really So.

Those games are very very valuable to me. I like, I speak so highly of them, but I can fall off just like anyone else if I feel like my time is being wasted. That's just the reality I think of us having so many games to play Like. That's the other aspect of it, which is like you can really like a game, but being like, hey, I got eight other games I want to play, so you need to give me a real good reason to get back in here.

What's Disney's Extreme Skate Adventure? Dan? What the fuck?

Dan?

Look?

I know, is this a Mike MANAUGHTI thing?

No, this is the Tony Hawks pro Skater thing. This is uh and as a result, I think it's probably the best thing Disney's ever made. It's just I heard that there was a game made in two thousand and three or so for the PS two and it's using the Tony Hawk four engine.

Is that why I see a PS two on the floor behind you?

Oh, there's numerous reasons. There's PS twos and stuff behind me, there's a VCR, there's I'm just I got a lot of old guy stuff going on there. Yeah, like those serious says watching the VHS tapes on stream last night, meth Lab behind him, you can't see them looking at a game cube, and then sixty four like they're all out here with the wires everywhere. Are you watching on stream? I bought a VHS tape of the best of tool Time from Home Improvement.

Yeah, Taylor, Taylor.

Yeah, Yeah, there's a site that does this is a new thing. Is the new VHS that was made happens. It's called Real Cool. He's got a current sitcom and stuff.

But really he's out of jail prison.

He wasn't like he got arrested for like drug stuff like before way before him approving.

He's in societal prison in the sense that I think people have shunned him because he's a bit of a quack, you know.

Like all I know about is based on the interview he did on The Norm Show about cocaine and prison and jail.

Oh yeah, that was before his like you know, SUPERO.

Before Santa Claus. Then that's when he.

Got way bags like Santa Claus.

I've seen all three of those. I could tell you every I could recite from memory, every Santa Claus movie, wonderful.

I don't care for that actor to mellon, No.

He's I like, look for some reason, the nineties were a very different time, and everyone on Earth fucking loved Home Improvement. It was the most popular funding. And then remember when DVD season started coming out when I was in college of like just TV shows, I was like, oh, Home Improvement everyone. I got to get Home Improvement first season DVD and I start watching. I was like, this isn't really that funny.

This is like it probably doesn't love but no reasons, Like every time he would go to the guy his neighbor who like hit half his face, well yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean I grew.

Up with that ship and now borland with his flannel on Tool Time and they would always be like, oh, we made a bathroom for dudes, and it's like, here's where the beer comes out for your toilet.

I remember that.

They did a man's bathroom. They did a man's they did it several times.

Ye. That's on my VHS tape of the Best of Tool Time.

That's yeah, we were, we were. I would watch that. We were really forward thinking family.

That's what I was doing.

Yeah.

So okay, so it's just it's the toys for Bob did a Tony Hawk game with Disney bullshit. But it's like using to Tony Hawks.

Never thought here.

I mean, that's the thing. I don't give a shit about Disney stuff. So like all the levels are like Toy Story and Jungle Book and Tarzan and all this stuff. But it just plays like a fucking Tony Hawk game. Like when it starts off, the controls are different, but then I looked at the options, it's like, turn on pro controls and it just turns it into Tony Hawk. It's like the same sound effects, the same like it's

Cool. Yeah, but it's got Disney stuff.

Yeah yeah, I can. I can look past the Disney stuff and just enjoy skating around. Oh but it's weird because it's like the most brand centric shit ever. So there's like a McDonald's and you go to the McDonald's and you go to the drive through microphone and like, hey, deliver these orders. So you're delivering like PS two rendered like three D, like you know, uh, fries and quarter pounders and stuff. And then you go to mister Nokia and mister Nokia's like I got to get these new

As you're phrasing. Sometimes throws me off. Just trying to monetize kids.

I mean they're idiots, so like get their money. Yeah for sure. Yeah, you know what I'm saying, Mary, What's Guns of Fury?

Guns of Fury is a game that I want to sell to Dan? I think you're gonna really like this.

You don't recommend games to me, ever, it's always Dan.

What is the don't play like rat based tile games?

Very often is the Benn Diagram of interest games wise, I think Mary, you and I probably overlap a lot more than me, and me and Mike have a good overlapped.

I think.

I think what we're saying here is that I'm the most well rounded. I play everything, and you two are a little more in your little niche the.

Most opposite, open minded, and he's the least in a niche hole.

Yeah I agree. Yeah, thanks for saying that.

Yeah, I don't think that that's how I would describe him at all.

When it comes to me.

I think often Mike and I band together to take you down all the time from your dumb opinions about some game that needs to be best, and it's actually just okay.

I think, I'm When did I do that last year?

You do it every year you did?

Would give me give me examples?

You both did it with Pickman two years ago? What was last year? Yeah?

When was I? When was I stubborn?

When we were last stubborn? Dan says, what did win Game of the Year last year?

Uh?

Let me do our ghost last year category?

I keep god, last year was kind of a funk?

Was it Astrobot?

Oh?

Yeah, of course?

Keeps over.

Then he forgets about it, forgot, I forget everything. But yes, that's one of the best games ever.

No metaphor was better.

This looks like Metal Slug, which I like.

Yes, so it's a kind of a I would say we have like a contra metal Slug vibe here asthetically so much fun. Everything you shoot explodes.

There's so many explosions in this.

It's crazy. You shoot everything and it all explodes. But they've done really nice details where like if you shoot a barrel or like an oxygen tank, it will shoot up into the sky. It will explode the tower, and then the guy in the tower will be like, oh, it's really fun. Okay, here we go. Here's my next part. It's a metroid Vania.

Okay, I'm writing this down.

Okay, I get why you recommend this. Yeah, it's tank just shot a laser. I'm seeing the metroid Vania map now, yeah, yeah, he's got a lightsaber in the mac. What the fuck?

There's there's mechs.

I'm watching the Steam gameplayers.

They just games dewey as ship. It just plops you in the world and so you'll go to all these different like explosion areas.

But they are like God there's an ice gun.

I'm telling you, there's there's like twenty different guns, you guys.

It's just shot a hole in a wall and open up a secret room allah the original Zelda.

And then there's there's three different types of weapons, right, so there's like your main guns, there's your secondary gun, which can be like a cannon, or it could be like a laser gun. It could be all these different things. And then there's your third one. So it could be a knife, but it could also be a boomerang fuck, or it could be a fire starter. And all of

Okay, I I already downloaded it. Yeah, it just that looks like a fun video game, such.

A fun video game, and it knows that it's a fun video game, Like it knows what it's doing, it it knows its player base. There's so few negatives. The only negative I can say is that, like for a game that's trying to compare itself to like Metal Slug and you guys all know like Metal Slug has like some of the most incredible animations, Yes, it's not of that caliber. Sure, that's my only that's it. That's like my only negative.

Well, the idea that type of gameplay with a metroidvania, like I you know, like Shadow Complex had guns and was a metroidvania, but it wasn't in the vein of like a contra Metal Slug type shooter. So like, I'm definitely for trying this.

Yeah, it's super fun.

I try it too, But you only recommend as it dance.

I recommending it to both of you. I just think a contra Detroidvania. I thought of Dan immediately, but I think you will think you really like this game. This also, like it was really off my radar, my my like moderator when I stream got this and was like, hey,

Okay, I will play it by the time we record next.

Yeah.

This isn't just a challenge to you Dan or to Mike. This is to all of our listeners. This is the game, and I stand by it. If you don't like this game, stop listening.

Just don't take that seriously.

We got no one's talking about it.

How weird is that? And it's great. It's freaking great.

What's dying the dungeon.

This is a very quick one. I really like, uh these types of games where you I don't know, it's like deck building, but this one is with dice. So you build a deck of dice and then you roll them, and based on your rolls, you fight, you turn base fight enemies in a dungeon, and it gets progressively harder. This game is very difficult. I think if you like turn based deck builders in dungeons and you want to try something different, this is the same thing with dice.

I was like, that's not a pun, that's just how you spell it.

But it's the word.

Yeah, if it was color based, d y e ullo.

Look at this guy. Wow.

It was a weirder tasting than I thought it would be.

Audio listener to the audio listeners my deep throat of the microphone.

Yeah, but it tasted different like I thought it'd be sweeter.

Yeah, it's a giant windscreen on it. That's gross.

That's how they get you.

This is a hymn thing.

Oh dude, I I have such an overwhelming urbage to put cylindrical things in my mouth all the time.

Yeah.

Yeah, games, you want to, you want to? You want to? Want to talk about emails? Sure, hey, everybody as usual. You can right into Jake. I don't know figure out where the fuck to come in on that conversation. You can ride into fire skate pass at gmail dot com. I should mention I'm gonna mention this later on. I didn't talk about any games at all, which keen listeners will have noticed because I was in GDC last week and I just wasn't. I was wasn't playing games playing games.

You're playing one very particular game with our buddy Vinnie.

Yes, that's where I was going with that. I forgot where I was going. Thank you you saved me. Yeah, Vinnie and I are playing Total war Warhammer three two campaigns. Based on how many people have signed up people like it, seems like a lot of you know about it.

However, I think Warhammer might be popular. I've never heard about it anywhere.

It's just it's Vinnie is popular. I think if you're not a video tier patron for fire Escape, we Vinnie and I are doing a co op campaign in Total War Warhammer three. He is playing as Imrick with the High Elves, and I am playing as Oxy Ottle with the Lizard Men, and we're doing a good quote unquote order campaign. And then if you're not signed up to next Lander on their video or their top tier, I believe uh that we're doing the Evil campaign over there.

You're gonna want to be a Vineo tier level Patreon subscriber because you're gonna want to get those videos.

No, I noticed neither of you have said anything about watching it.

I just I just don't want to be spoil the high stuff in particular. I'm just trying not to get spoiled on it right now. It's you know, the Lord. It's a big time for the Hiles. Going to finish the Severn finale tonight.

I caught up on White Lotus. We have not started severnce. I think that's our next show, White Lotus. Uh oh. In general, how are you liking the season compared to the first is? What is? No White Lotus.

Lotus is much more of a slow burn this season, in my opinion, I think they all are right like the all the hook is like somebody dies, but the actual show is about watching these characters slowly transform and things like Bubble up to the surface to the degree that things start happening towards the final episode, maybe the second to last episode. I just feel like the first episode, a lot of shit happened, right Like there was like a lady who like was pregnant and I ended up

The first season. Yes, I just water bike, oh sure, sure, sure, yes, yes, yes, very early on the staffer.

But that like first episode is really stressful. I would say, like in this one, the stress is not from like a crazy thing that happens. The stress is from character dynamics that are like really intense. If you're paying attention to the dialogue and what's going on. There's like these three iconic ladies. They're like a little like they're older, and they're stunningly beautiful. But every time one of them leaves, the other two talk about the person who's left. That

I don't.

I don't dislike it.

I like season one a bit more than two. However, the character work in this season is really really good. It's really good Walton Goggins. I love this renaissance he's having with this and Fallout.

Yeah, he's great and what a totally different character than its Fallout character, but both so well done. He's a tremendous actor. I also like whoever plays his girlfriend with the teeth. She's amazing. I'm trying not to be disrespectful because I find.

Her stunningly beautiful.

Yes, but if you were to describe her, I would say she's super hot, and she's got big old teeth, and she she's a great actor. She owns that role entirely. I think she's phenomenal.

Patrick Schwarzenegger is so fucking good at being a huge douchebag.

Schwarzinger's good in this. Yeah, he's like, oh wow.

His name is Saxon and he from this very white like North Carolina Duke Chapel Hill family.

He reminds me of Johnny every time he comes into a scene. He's just like bebe Is and They're like, what are you talking about? He's like anyway, like, check out my fucking dick, and then he like walks away. Very he was acting, but that that's a good actor, right, Like he's created a real hateable, punchable guy.

And I feel like all the time he spends talking about his body and working out is just making fun of his dad. But it's it's dad, right, not that.

Yeah.

Yeah, and is he the maid son when he has an affair with the maid?

Oh, I don't know.

Oh that's crazy. That's behind the scenes because because Arnold Schwarzenegger famously had a kid out of wedlock with his maid, I understand. I think this is full blood, but I don't know.

Okay, I'm going to do that based.

On the fact that he really looks like Arnold, like.

He's got Arnold vibes he does. So go watch uh, Vinnie and Mike save the world on fire Escape, and then go watch Vinian Mike destroy the world on Next Lander. All right, we got some emails from uh Mary. Do you want to read this? First one from Rich from Pennsylvania.

Chat up, guys, I live in Philadelphia area and growing up we always referred to Italian ice as water ice. It wasn't until I was a full grown adult that I realized that to anyone not from the area, water ice just sounds like ice. Did you grow up with any weird regional names for things that you didn't realize were weird until years later. I know people in Minnesota also allegedly refer to duck duck goose as duck duck, gray duck. That's fucked up right, all the best rich

It's not allegedly, that is definitely it's the only state in the country where it's not duck doug goose, it's duck duck, gray duck.

Yeah, weird, Mary, you wrote one down. I don't know if this is regional or just you're being weird when you say this.

Everyone from Ohio says recpcs No.

That's a weird thing. I ate a good chunk of a five pound bag of Reese's Pieces on Wednesday, and I was saying Reese's pieces every time I ate some.

Yeah, I just ate a good chunk of a five pound bag. How many pounds was a good chunk? Well?

For the Et.

They have five pound bags of Reese's pieces.

Yes, Jeff Creb sent me five pounds of Reese's pieces that I had to shove through the mouth hoole of an et mask for work on Wednesday.

You did not have to do any of this.

I'm an artist, yours is a noble profession. Yes, I've heard people Saye's pieces, but it's I don't think it's a region. It's ohioh Grub says it too, and Mike.

Wait, no, because maybe it's not Reagional, because I remember.

I think it's just Mary and like I've heard years ago, but they're not from Ohio.

Louis c K says it that way, and we're seeing him years ago when he said res PCs. Yeah, is he from Ohio? No, he's in New Yor. Well, he grew up in Mexico.

I think Luis c K grew up in Mexico.

Yeah, he's like half Mexican.

Yeah, it's a classic Mexican accent.

Yeah, maybe it's just a Mary and Louis c K thing.

Yeah, sometimes want to be a PECS. And I just think I'm going to die one day. I don't know. I can't do Louise. Okay, I shouldn't. I probably shouldn't.

Probably not. So I try to think of like weird dialects regional stuff.

I mean a lot of the regional stuff from like Syracuse, well, Syracuse itself. The pronunciation I think we've talked about We've definitely talked about this on fire Escape before, like way earlier. There's some listeners from Syracuse, and I think they got in an argument with me, or rather emailed in saying it looks like Syracuse and it's named after the Sicilian city Syracusa. But everybody I grew up with who's from

I would trust the people who live there, right.

But there's other people who do who also live there and emailed me saying I'm from here and I pronounce it Syracuse. But I remember our like our chancellor at SU when I was going to before I graduated, email all that all the students with like a it was supposed to be a fun community building is like are you a deer or a bear? Do you say Syracuse or Syracuse? Uh? And like most people who are from there, of which there were not that many because people come

You said Syracuse so much now that my brain is refusing to acknowledge it as a word, and I can't remember how I used to say, Oh, there's a cool word.

There's a cool phrase for that. Uh, semantic satiation happens, somatic satiation or something like that. It's a cool phrase.

It's like when you say, like the word potato so much and you're like, that's crazy that that's even a word potato.

Clitorris clit taoris, clittoris, clittoris cloris.

Joe Montanas like Joe Montana, that's not a guy. That's not even a series of words that Joe Montana doesn't mean anything. That Cartoon Network character. He's not a all time Court Montana. That's like, I must be misremembering this.

Yeah, g spot, G spot, G spots, I mean the clitus. Neither of them exists, so it works. What the fuck? Where we talk? Oh, regional stuff, most of the regional stuff? Uh Syracuse? Has I mentioned Syracuse because I was gonna say, we have regional cuisine. Uh chicken chicken speedies from the stay Air, which'm actually gonna make the night speedy. Oh yeah, cuisine not in the sense, and it's fancy cuisine, just like regional food.

I mean chicken speedies.

Yeah, some nice Papa musavice and some chicken speedies.

Do you say little smokies?

Never heard of that before.

Oh maybe that's little sausages. Yeah, like little hot dogs.

You gotta have little smokies and you and whoever when you make maybe one of the moms comes with a fucking crock pot and she's like, I have the little smoke key and they're always smoking cross pot with like barbecues.

Why from the white latuce right there, I got a little smokies. Where's my little rezipam pipernet I brought? I'm I missing my pails. I salt potatoes. Salt potatoes are a thing in Syracuse as well. You literally boil potatoes in salt water and then you serve them with melted butter and some like green onions.

Sounds pretty good.

Oh, it's good, it's great. It's just like Amanda when she first met me and I was telling her, I was like, yeah, we had like salt potatoes at the barbecue, Like what the fuck are those? And it's just you boil them in salt water. There's probably some nuances that I'm not familiar with, but phrasing.

Wise, we had the stuff where it's like everyone else got soda pop hop, like you know, definitely grew up like every soda was a coke at one point. I don't think I heard pop much.

I didn't either. We were soda.

Yeah.

I think we used pop in Ohio, which is yeah. But I think interchangeably you could use soda. But if I asked for for me, if I were to ask for something right now, I'd be like, oh, I don't want to pop, Like I would probably still say pop.

I think i'd say soda. Yeah.

Water ice from Rich from the email is very weird. I have a one of my good friends is from Philly. The way that people from Philly and Long Island say water is weird, the Philly water that's odd. I like it, It's got a nice ring to it, but I don't say it like that, Oh are you? Are you? If? Okay, if you're waiting in a queue to get into a store, how would you phrase that?

I've heard this. You're in line, You're in line?

Yeah, Mary, how would you phrase it?

My instinct is to also say I'm in line?

Yeah, me too. I think it's like a New York thing to say online.

Bank and her family all say, and then there's a lot of water going on there too, Yeah, yeah, although you know what it's not. It's water w like O O T E. It's like a lot to Long Island.

Yeah, water almost, but like yeah, it's I think it's Jersey New York is online, I know, back of our you know, like the Long Islanders and Jersey. Jersey folks say Mario a lot.

That's that's just actually wrong.

But yeah, I like, because yeah, I think in Italian wouldn't what would Mario be in Italent?

Like?

How would the I.

Think the argument is that like, oh yeah, on the East coast wherever, there's a lot of guys named Mario pronounced Mario, but not that Mario. He says his own fucking name all the time to one of the like five words he says to me Mario. Guess he says Mario.

I think the argument there is like Japanese developers, wouldn't they fucked it up when they were making Mario.

I'm just listening to the man say his own name.

Yeah, I guess he would know to me Mario, Yeah, inline. I feel like there's another one that's always throws me off' worsh.

I would hear. My grandma is from the South and she would say worsh instead of oh, like.

Wash, yeah, yeah, I put in the wor. Yeah, there's a I went to. I think you two know. I think I've talked about it before. I went to University of Arkansas for two years and my ex's grandparents lived on Grand Lake in Oklahoma, which is a gorgeous little pocket of the country. If you've never been to Lake Country in Oklahoma, go if you're around, go check it out. Uh there's a place in Oklahoma that is spelled m I A m I Miami.

Yeah.

It's not how they fucking say it. It is Miama, Miama.

Oklahoma and Missouri.

You know, Missouri and Miama. Yeah, it's a very Parker, posey in white lotus way of saying Miami, and that always threw me off. But I kind of like Miamah.

Kind of like that. I don't like Missouri.

I don't like Missouri. I don't like the state or how it Yeah, just about listeners, but.

To them get out of state, Yeah, it's not good.

Yeah. I spent a lot, not nearly as much time as Dan, I've spent a lot of time there, and I was always I'd rather read Oklahoma. Yeah, but yeah, it was always the stair. I'm actually curious if anybody from Syracuse says Syracuse because it's just too I actually get kind of tired saying Syracuse. It like wears me out a bit. It's too just a strain on my vocal cords trailer Syracuse Alien Alien.

I feel like you, Ohio. Well, least where I was growing up, it wasn't so much that we that we said very specific words differently, but Valley girl accent is like very normalized there, and so just saying things with a strange inflection upwards that everything is like a question is very normal, but I don't know if like there's a very particular use case for an individual world word, whereas it's just like, you know, do you know where

I don't like that. It's just not good. Yeah. Here, you get a lot of like the Minnesota people that are just like any double o. It's like broom roof, you know, like a lot of just like, yeah, I had me a broom like Tim Turry is like the most Minnesota man ever.

Tim. Tim's pronunciation of Boston is funny to me. Boston. He says like, oh, yeah, we're going to Boston for Pax East, Like.

He's saying it with like a Boston accent.

No, no, no, no, it's just like the O is a very hard O instead of an a W.

Boston says mom, like ma'am, And sometimes that confuses me.

My sister is the only one in our family who just has a like a where's Fargo, Dakota, Minnesota, North Dakota. My sister just has an Upper Midwest accent. I don't know where she got it. Her husband's not from the Upper Midwest. We are not she like, I don't know where she got it.

Would you truly for me to have any kind of accent? Uh?

Nothing stands out. I don't see.

I do feel like that Midwestern, like like this is up for Midwestern. There is a Minnesota accent, but I'm not from here, so like, I just feel like Kansas is in the Midwest. Midwest doesn't have much of one.

You do say some stuff, how would you? Uh? You kind of have the George Bush pronunciation of nuclear, don't you.

No, Because there's an an accurate way of saying it where you say nuclear, but it's well no, wait, it's not no, that is the correct one. Nucular is the wrong one. Nuclear is the right one. Yes, nucular is the wrong way to do it. W fan over, I'm not thinking about clear Are you pro?

Are you pro? Operation Iraqi? Freedom to Dan?

That was quite a jug, Mike.

Dan is a big book.

The mission got accomplished, did it not?

The classic W.

Closeted Cheney fan this whole time? One hundred three episodes in And finally about these tariffs, Dan, what do you think about Halliburton and their oil interests? Dan?

Uh, They're bad?

I thought I had him.

He gets away for another episode.

Dan is always on his toes when it comes to politics. I I'll get him. God masterful Perry Dan. Thank you Richard Pennsylvania. Dan, do you want to read this one? It's from Actually hold on while you read it?

All I say it notes on there. Hello, what's the worst name for the best thing? Anything? Food, movie, game, book, hobby, sex, position, you name it. I'm a big fan of the Australian band King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard. I don't hate the name, but I know a lot of people who do, and it legitimately makes them hard to recommend to people who I know would love their fantastic discography. That's left from the West Coast, Australia. Simon PS, please don't tear if my email.

I don't want Simon from Australia. It's not the same one though.

The same way, you know. Yeah, let's tear. I got a couple for a bad so good thing. I mean, I don't consider this the best thing, but it was very big for a while. Pubg uh, you know, like that was a fucking terrible player. Unknowns Battleground. Yeah, that's a terrible name.

That's a really great example.

Dan, such a bad name, right with ship like that?

A lot of ones are too many colon's and you know, too many subtitles and stuff. There's a movie Mary learned about during your wedding thing, Sorcerer, which it is not at all indicative of what the movie is about. It's about driving trucks that had dynamite in them precariously and Sorcerer, right, we thought about that one before.

You love that movie.

Incredible movie. Bad name.

Yeah, Sorcer doesn't even make sense.

No, it doesn't at all, like not on its own, a bad name, but for that movie, it's a bad name because that's not indicative at all.

I'm sorry that there's movies I don't. I don't know if this person listens to the podcast, Dan, I'm not. Can you see what's resting on top of my Rambo Steel book? You have signed a mission.

To me to give mission impossible?

No, no, no, no, it's a DVD.

Oh, I know what you're talking about. You're saying that's a bad.

Title, bad radio. No. I was just thinking I was looking at my in my background. This is a complete not like tangent. I just no, not at all. I just noticed it was right there, and Dan and I haven't talked about it yet in this episode.

Oh no, I understand what.

I don't think this person listens to the show. Okay, I'll explain it someday and then this whole terrible They will all laugh. Tangent will makes sense.

More, Ali and the laser eyes.

Oh yeah. Video games are there so many?

Warhammer forty thousand, Dawn of War, Soul Strong.

Total Total War, Warhammer three, everything in that Wherealm is bad.

Okay, I'll do my rare wrestling thing with you. Guys, say you have you heard of the Steiner brothers vaguely? Okay? There was? There were classics in the eighties nineties, Rick Steiner and Scott Steiner. They were just dudes from Michigan that would come just beat the shit out of you. They were awesome. They were known as the Steiner Brothers. All the Rooms, the Steiner Recliner, the Franken Steiner, all

I agree. The country Turkey, Mmm, I've never been I heard that not anymore.

Didn't they change it or something I thought I'd referred to as like get a different name Turky or something.

Yeah? Why why are they not conforming to my understanding of Turkey?

Oh? I know, Mary's got to be thrilled now because it's not the Gulf of Mexico anymore.

Oh yeah, Mary, you haven't been annoying the ship out of us about Yeah.

We get it. Yeah, you love it.

You're like party hat golf of Americas over here. Yeah. Also you've been like you've been. She sent us this map of Canada with like red lines from America into.

It in Greenland. She's big on Greenland. Ship.

Now it's like the seventy sixth Tank Division and then it's a line up Vancouver. It's weird, weird. You got to stop.

I don't, I don't need to hate expanding. You guys want to shrink your territory. What's going on here?

That's a good point.

Yeah, nuke the whales got a nuke something. You guys want to not not grow.

That's what you always say. That's a fun I don't even know what I think.

It's a great name for the first time recently. It's good. That's like a great name. I describe it. It's almost like a mini chicken cutlet, but with other herbs in the breading, and it's like a It's a big pub food in Australia. So we did an Australian pairing night recently and my friend from Australia, well, his wife made them. I should put a caviar on top. So I don't know if that was like.

I was at an Australian pairing night and then this person on top, Mike, you are you have descended so far into self parody like.

That such a common food, there's no reason to put caviar on.

You can put caviar. Oh, that was the first caviar. Have you guys had caviar before?

I had caviar on a cool restrito.

Suddenly I'm not the only boogie one of the podcast on a cool rest rito. Yes, you put it on chips. I did once. Yes, I get it. It's yeah, you were there, right, yep, yeah, yeah. He told me to dress up for this party, and you showed up in w W T shirt.

The are you talking about?

You said, let's go to existing conditions for New Year's Eve. Don Lee, who's who's like a friend of Giant Bomb East, is hosting it. It's one of his cocktails. And you said it's gonna be pretty like there's gonna be people dressed up. So I come in like a sport coat and chinos and you're in a WWET shirt.

I have pictures of us from that night. I'm wearing a nice buttonup shirt. What the fuck are you talking about?

I promise you you're not. And I remember there.

Was a New Year's Eve before it was twenty nineteen, going in twenty twenty because I was about to start working in w DOE. I'm wearing a button up shirt. I could clearly prove you wrong on this.

If show me a photo of you had existing conditions where you're not wearing a T shirt, Okay, I would love to, all right, see it.

When I got the opportunity to freelance for my very first time at game Spot for E three. I said, what's the dress code? And the person who got me the job said, it's business casual. So I went to a store and I bought a nice pair of dress slacks and a simple pair of flat black dress shoes and a white collared like not like a fancy shirt, but like a like a nice white shirt that would

Business casual.

Dan to you, I discorded you the picture. Of course, all the photos. It's just you stole my phone. You and bonk.

I'd send you the picture.

No, I will, I will say from an outsider, I've been looking at this picture. Michael is dressed up and wearing a nice suit with a tie, and he's got like four corners in his little pocket. And Dan, you're just wearing a fucking black shirt.

Especially, I only had like, like if I had buttons on a shirt, that was me being fancy. I got, I got more, but not a w W shirt.

That's on me. I got. I look good though.

I think there's like a Roman Reigns shadow in it.

There's yeah, button for sure. That's a fun night. That was a good cocktails.

Yeah, great place.

Okay, Yeah, I'm all tapped out on a weird phrasing for stuff. Uh, I will read the last one from Morgan.

Uh.

Hello, arsonists. I like that people have been saying that it's cool I want to burn stuff. Congrats on making it to one hundred episodes. Thank you, Thank you, love listening to you all every two weeks, and love the tournament. My question is, it's four am and your phone rings, and it's one of your fellow co hosts and they're in jail. What do you think they did to get

In reality, we would get because I don't think any of us are like. We don't drink and dry. I never did no like no.

I I if I had to pick something for Mary, I would actually think it might have had to do with her temper.

I think it'd be a fight. Yeah, I think for real would be a fight.

Yeah. And I know I don't have.

Literally perfect I would never kill anyone. I just think it would cause a scene. But I don't harry.

Like I picked you up and moved you across the bar.

She tried to open the bathroom. That's assault. She should be in jail.

She tried to open a door the fucking nerve.

I actually think my answer for both of you is a fight at a bar.

Mm hmmm. I'd moved past that.

There was a time if we can just be reasonable where that was the number one thing that would have happened to Mike, and we all.

Kind of like hell our breath agreed, But I don't when.

You are a spicy boy. But I think that that time has passed. But there was a time where you would looking at you sideways.

I don't think any of us are going to jail, but I do think most likely for Mike, if it had to be something would still maybe be a fight. He still got it in him somewhere.

No, No, it's gone now, Chakra, it's gone now.

I think it's possible that if there was like a museum and they were like, we're having a really unique museum and we have original candy bars that are one of a kind, and these are iconic and they are special, and they're not actually to be held. These are just for people to view for historical accuracy. I could see like Dan dropping down and not touching the laser ground and like slowly making his way to the glass that

That's not she doesn't do that in the movie.

Like you're doing the smoke. You see the lasers and yeah, you use your now to just borrow from Batman. You like have the Catwoman claws and you make a perfect circle out of the glass and you take out the original Uh it doesn't the very first one.

Ever made, and you replace it with a bag of sand. That's of course, yeah, from every movie Perfect crime. Where does where does he go wrong? That gets him arrested? Yeah?

I mean I think that once he gets it and he.

Likes leaves and forget, he walks the whole thing and.

A brag on a podcast about it, and then he went through all over him.

He's got the evidence everywhere.

He's at the security line in the airport and they find this one of a kind unique candy bar in his bags, like, oh fuck, I forgot I had stolen this.

You will call it.

I'm on the straight and narrow. They can't pin nothing on me.

I think that they'll also get Dan for looking at pervy games. I think that one.

Day she is and I will blame Mary in court and I'll say, like she told me to do it for us.

I didn't know that Panny Sniffer RPG. Three thousand was bad.

Yeah, I didn't tell me that, Dan.

I could actually see Dan, you would get arrested because you didn't know something was illegal.

I could see that, and you did it right in.

Front of several police officers.

Yeah.

I just don't know what that thing would be. But I could see you fainting.

Or not sitting two guns in the air.

You would be like, I didn't know this was illegal? Still illegal.

Actually, you know what the likely thing is is like when I went to be somewhere that you can't like get in easily or whatever. I always was, I'll just walk straight in. I've tried to sneak backstage when I was a teenager at so many different de witty events and stuff like that. So like that teg oh, you tell me to do that a Madison Square guard something like talking.

About this is one of my favorite Dan stories. Have we talked about We must have at some point, like a while ago, Dan and I went to It was the Dan correct me if I'm wrong before I worked there. Correct. This was like twenty nineteen. Yeah, twenty nineteen.

You're lucky didn't put you on the list.

It was the first time I believe Stone Cold was back at MSG in a while.

It was like a special, and we went and.

We watched it, and then we were backstage because a friend of our, Broadway Alex knew several people that were helping with the broadcast, and basically we got wrote, we got We were walking out with Broadway Alex and a few people to the street didn't realize we were leaving the backstage, and Dan was of course peeking out because he's a big fan of a lot of these people that are hanging around, and again he hadn't worked there yet, so there was you know.

Like, oh my got Stone cold tried.

Yeah, I mean even I was. It was like cool for them to be in their vicinity. And then we didn't really realize we were leaving. We were kind of in a conversation that was naturally walking toward an elevator, and then we were on the other Oh shit, we're leaving. We were just backstage and now we're gone. So of course Broadway Alex and uh and his friend at the time leave and me and Dan are just waiting. We're like, well, do we go home? And Dan's like, no, I want

I don't know Chad.

Two hours. I don't give a ship.

Yeah, my brain is not processing that. I'm not getting my way, and I have a gun in a chat Chad needs us just bugging this cop.

Yep, yeah, he I I was so I couldn't tell whether I was suffering second hand embarrassment or if it was hilarious. It was a little bit of.

I just tried to butt my head again something until I get my way, and I just could not realize, why, why is this not working? Chad?

That would absolutely, I think, be it what was happening?

Yeah, I got another one for Dan, which is getting arrested for starting a public fight because he walked in the exit of a bathroom because the entrance has a line and he walks in the entrance that he doesn't brand in line, and someone finally calls you out on it.

Oh yeah, yeah.

But here's the thing I've It's been a long time since I've done it, because I've typically been in the press box, which has a dedicated bathroom, which is amazing. But if I were I would do it again. I would do it again.

I know you would. And I think one day someone's gonna call your.

Number, but they do sometimes, And this is how it goes. You start walking in the exit and you hear someone from down the line be like asshole, and by the time anything can be done, you're already in there. Pissing.

Yeah, Dan doesn't wait skip.

The line and get in there to beat my ass.

No, oh god, yeah, it'd be funny.

True, there's like a social contract that you're allowed to call someone an asshole for skipping the line, but you don't want to get out of the line, right.

You have to get out of line and then him like no, it's a.

Yeah, you got to stay.

It's the perfect crime.

What if but you if you run into him on the way out.

The perfect crime is no, lie, he has to peek.

No, you're on the way out and he's in line and you have to walk by him, and he reached.

He's not going to get out of line to kick my ass.

He has to pee, but you're walking right by him. He doesn't need to leave a spot.

I am just like a shot on the night. I'm just like back to my seat, like it's just no, it's perfect.

Okay, perfect. I could see that being it too, But yeah, Marry, I think that's what.

A perfect crime means. A perfect crime is like there's no it's a victimless crime. There's like nothing that I.

Wouldn't know, they would know.

Perfect crime is like there's literally no way to prove it with you.

Oh, it's very easy to prove it's me. There's probably on camera at a million different arenas.

I someone I know often flies to other cities and kills people and leaves, just picks a random city. It's someone I know, I don't know. Oh, I know it is, and he leaves and he comes back, and no one there's body perfect crime.

The bodies are victimless.

I think it's victim for it for the victim, but like, no one cares about this victim.

Outside of the victim. It's victimless.

No, I mean leaving aside the victim, it's they're dead. Get over It's fine. Once the victims dead, it's like they don't They literally don't exist. So I don't see how they could be a victim anymore because they're just not victim. My friend does the same internal monologue ey time he kills someone. To adjust be lawyers. Yeah, that would that'd be a really strong defense.

Called to the stand. The person who was murdered.

Oh, I didn't show up, must not have been that bad.

If they really wanted to not die, they would have put up more of a fight and not died.

Yeah, simple to me.

The pedant lawyer. Yeah, I don't, I don't who I think Mary is the most likely to get I digressed.

I was going to say that too. Yes, Mary's not it's not an attack. It's just that I think that's realistic.

Yeah.

I reluctantly accept this award.

Thank you, well, thank you Morgan from New Orleans, morlans h Well, that's our show. Those are the emails.

Thank you.

But daytime recording one.

Of the rare ones. Yes we could. I mean, it's not a fisher yet because we haven't recorded it. But the plan is we're actually going to do a little recording here right after.

I think so. Yeah, we'll promote that on our channels if we do.

Keep an eye on the On the Patreon, we'll definitely have the Warhammer stuff and maybe maybe a little bonus.

Yeah, there's a there's two episodes up on Firescape of Vinian Mike Save the World, and I believe the second episode of Vinie Mike Destroy the World is up as of today, the twenty fourth, March twenty fourth. If you haven't watched it, and if you're not a Next Lander subscriber patron, go subscribe. We also have merch at fire Escape Merch, Firescape cast merch.

We never know is it deep dish pussy?

Now Deep Dish Pussy is our patreon. Oh right, fire escape.

URLs, I can remember them.

I have very interesting conversations with our accountants. Come tax seasons pussy.

Yeah, we bought that at a loss.

It's not fire write that off.

Right that off to our text guy, right.

Off, Escape cast merch. Okay, just search fire Escape on fourth Wall. You can get some sick bikinis, tied I shirts. God, that bikini is so sick. Get some. You can get a fucking about the Author.

Tank time season is coming.

You get some banana yellow banana hammock trunks. Those aren't banana hammocks. You can get some water bottles, some hoodies want to I want these coasters. Why the funk aren't people telling me about these coasters? More? Send fote buy these coasters, the mouse pads, not the about the Author one. I'll freak out that one. Get the oh dorky Christmas beanie that's sick is the season? Uh yeah, there's a I think we got a vibrator something.

The most wonderful time of the.

Go. Buy stuff there. We're over at on Patreon. If you want to get some ad free episodes, or you want to watch vide Mike Save the World, or just get video versions of the episodes, you can go over We got several tiers, or if you just appreciate what we do, we want to treat like a tip jar. We are over at deep dishpussy dot com and uh we'll be back in a couple of weeks. Dan, what do you have going on in the meantime?

Oh, lots of Giant Bomb stuff going on the power Block every day. We're streaming for like four or five six hours a day, So just check out Giant Bomb or game spot on Twitch and YouTube. We're streaming a lot of fun stuff about to make Jeff Grebb start playing the game over Blood for Blake Clubs, So keep an eye out.

Mary. What about you?

I stream on Mondays. That's how I found some of these sick games that I talked about on this EPI. So if you want to see me play them before I talk about them, check out my my twitch so you can watch me stream these games that I like so much or don't like sick. What about you?

What are you doing? What do you do? Games wise? Nothing? I'm I'm a I got a wine test coming up. Can't really follow me there though, No, I mean I could, you could. Yeah, I'm just I'm here. That's and that's good enough for me. I know you too. You need your popularity, and your your fucking popular.

I am a little sick, burned.

Popular. I got my I collect fuck that isapolis.

I mean, I'm not disagree with it.

These are perfect. I can't ask for a more perfect impression.

I love Portland. I'm so cool. I love pickles, I love French bulldogs. My house is sick, my neighborhood is sweet. I've got a neighbor. I've got a neighbor who raises robots.

Robots.

I have a phone if they were his own. I've got a phone at the bottom of the will of Lammit, and it's pronounced well Lammit, damn it.

Uh.

It's sweet here. It's the best city in the world. I'm into couzy games.

I remember one time, I forget the context, but you said that my phone was at the bottom of the Willama and that's a shame because I have so many texts on it because I'm so popular. You done got my phone back and I was like, I probably do have a lot of unreads on that phone.

Yeah, it's probably still there. It probably hasn't run out of juice yet.

To this day, there is a fish swimming by my phone at the bottom of that river, and it is sad because that is a perfect, in good condition I phone in a perfect waterproof bag. It's going to be there for a long time.

Just FaceTime with a fucking barracuda. I don't think there are barracudas in the Wi Lama, but.

I don't.

I'd be concerning if they're a piranha in the river running through Portland.

There's barely fish in there. It's pretty polluted.

Well, everybody, thank you for joining. We will be back in a couple of weeks the new episode. In the meantime, go to our Patreon watch that stuff.

And I'm giving you to a homework assignment for that Embargered game that I want to talk about next time. Yeah, I wonder if thembargo will even be up by the time that comes out. Yes, the day I think the embargo is that day? No, ye, yep, okay, we're good to take a look at that. I don't know, but o, yes, there's a game. I want talk to you too.

About We can delay the episode a few hours if we need to. We'll be back see you then.

Bye.