BONUS EPISODE: A Fireside Chat with Paul Ryckert

Hello, fire Escape Cast listeners. This is Dan Reichord. Hey, you might have seen an episode pop up in your feed today and you thought, hey, wait a minute, it's every other week and we just had one last week. While I'm here to tell you to calm down. It's okay. Everything is wrong with your phone and your internet connection. I just put up a bonus episode here because my father, Paul Reichord, was in town last weekend and we sat on the deck for three hours and we recorded a

long, unabridged, unedited conversation about a whole lot of things. If you want to see the video, it's up on my YouTube. But figure it. Hey, it's an off week on fire Escape Cast here, why don't we go ahead and upload that here if you're looking for something to listen to. So, without further ado, here is me and my dad on a deck. One thing I forgot to do on this trip. What's that zip Hop? Well, look it's not zip Hop without the lyrics. So hit him, come on, hit him with the pop hid him with this.

I'm not inspired yet. That's where it gets intolerable. It's a lot of My name is Paul, and I'm here to say sixty year old white guy thought like, this is what you think rap is type stuff. It's great. I'm sitting by the fire. No, no, no, don't do it without zipp hopping. The people will love it. No, you you got time it right. I'm sitting by the fire. It's my life's desire with my son named Dan. He's my one um, one man. What

do you think he does this a lot? He has three kids. We all hate it, and we've all told him in no uncertain terms that it's insufferable. No one likes it, not even in a funny way. It's just hard to get through and we wish he would stop. Why do you think I do it? That's a shoot a shoot? Do you know what that means? It's a wrestling thing. Oh, look at you, it's capabe whoa look at you? Go we already? Or take your jacket off amidst this roaring flame. I needed earlier, I don't need it now.

Yeah, the fire mix things hot. So, uh, general topics? What are we doing here? We're just talking. We could sum up the week. Yeah. Here, let's start with something you said at Fenway Park. So, Dad, you're here in town. It's your sixtieth birthday was yesterday, two days ago, Thursday, Thursday. It is now Saturday. You said something. One of my favorite things you do is say things with

the utmost confidence and certainty that are just factually incorrect. Let me hit you with this one, because we said there's gonna be more to unpack here. You said at the game we were talking about Boston accents, and you were saying, that's, oh, yeah, you know you're from You're from a

place that doesn't have an accent. And it's like, I think I said that when I was like twelve and I was I was Someone told me like, oh, well, no, you just think that because that's you grew up hearing that, and you're like, no, no, no, it's just we don't have an accent. We have just the default accents. You know why you think it's the default, right, because it's mine, right, and that's all you've heard growing up. Let me ask you this,

sure, do folks hard with hardcore like Boston accents? Do they not think they have an accent? They probably think they have a Boston accent, right, And we have a Midwestern accent which doesn't exist. Why because there's no irregular pronunciations of anything. What is irregular? The cat going to the cat and the yah. But do you think that's irregular or someone from Boston or Sath I don't know, y'all. Do you think that's irregular to someone from

the South talking like that if you were born in Atlanta? No, because they know they speak with the Southern accent, just like we speak with a Midwestern accent. That doesn't exist. You have to have why why is it difference? Why is it different from the Midwest? Something has to exist in order to have it. What does that mean? It's too deep for you? No, this is you realize you have no idea what you're talking about.

You really do believe that, because here's here's the difference. I think a lot of times I do things as bits, and a lot of people are like, does he actually think that? So I'm asking straight up, do you believe this? Yes, you believe that we don't have a Midwestern accent because that doesn't exist. Yes, there's nothing we say. We don't

say anything in a way that's peculiar. But what determines what's peculiar? You know, if it's not said the way it's intended to be said, how is it intended to be said, Like the word automobile is supposed to be automobile. In England, it would be an automobile. And do you think a person in England would think that's peculiar? How I said that? How they would say it? Right? No, because they know they have British accents, right, and we should know that we have Midwestern accent. That's

the thing he has to exist to have it. What does that mean? What are you talking about? You can't have a Midwest accent when there's no accent to have. Oh, I'll die on this hill. I don't know for getting past. It's like North Dakota, Minnesota. Man in Minnesota, right, if you asked Tim Terry if he thought it was weird or peculiar, he says broom instead of broom. Well, no, that's that's how you'd be like, Oh, yeah, I've got the Minnesota in accent.

So let me ask you this. Yes, if you say Minnesota like Minnesota or Minnesota, which is the one with an accent? Well, to me, someone who grew up in Kansas, Minnesota is the Minnesota accents. So you don't think people from Minnesota who say Minnesota like that realize that they say it differently than everyone else. Who's everyone else outside the Midwest or outside of that region? Right? Can they hear us? Yes, there's a billion microphones here. Yes, Yes, we got the roaring fire here. It's

not that loud, it's just fire, all right. I'm right on this really. Yeah. Let us know in the comments, folks, genuinely, if you agree with him, let them know. If you don't, let them know. I'm curious. Here's the thing. If this video came out and it was unanimously people thought you were wrong, would you reconsider No. I think that's the thing. I think it's like, in the face of being wrong about it. When was the last time you feel you were totally

wrong about something and your mind was changed because you learn more. Oh, it's happened. Yeah, can you think of a There's been times in my life. It's been a while, but when I was younger when I was pronouncing a word completely incorrectly, Yeah, and someone would point out to me and explain to me the right way to say it, and I recognized I was wrong and I corrected it, and I haven't done that way since. Yeah, that's like a right or wrong like pronoun that's like a binary thing.

This is like a concept that I think you're failing to understand. I'd have to go. I'll think about that throughout the night, and I'll get back with you, Okay. I when I was a young man, I was like most young people. I thought I knew everything. It turns out I really didn't know much. Yeah, but I used to have this saying that if you ever get if you ever get into an argument or a debate with me, know that you're wrong, because I will not engage in a

debate or an argument unless I know one hundred percent that I'm right. And I've I've shifted that. Now I'll accept the fact that I could be wrong. But I used to not if I got into something unless I knew I was right. Yeah, I wouldn't push it. I feel like I have.

I have not changed all my opinions, but I feel like just the way I've thought about things in most every regard that matters has changed since like college, in terms of just like what matters in life, like just things that like in college, I would say with the utmost, like if you don't like Bubb Dylan, you're an idiot. You know, it's like that type of stuff. I've softened so much. You've got a lot better about

that. Well, yeah, just because it's just I don't know. I think you just meet enough people and you realize how like abrasive that can be and things like that, and you you recalibrate. You know, I did think of an example. Well you know this, but nobody else will. I grew up in an environment where and an environment and a time where most women did not work. Oh, your mom was an very and this My mom was the root of this. She was very negative about any woman that

worked. And once I got out in the world on my own, got married, started having my own family, and realizing what there was more to life than my hometown. You realize that the most people need to incomes to

survive. Sure, sure, and there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, it's admirable that anybody wants to work is out there working, and that things that you might have just accepted as gospel because like a parent told you, at a certain time, it was like yeah, yeah, Well, and as you get older, you learn that everything you were taught wasn't necessarily

correct. There's a fun reason when I learned back in the day growing up, you had very strong thoughts about wine and the drinkers of wine and their hoity tweetiness and so forth. I, I know, drink wine on a regular basis. What do you think of that, mister? I think you're proving me right that I'm hoity toity. You're you're veering towards hoity toity. You are the only person on the planet. I think that accuses me being

hoity toity. You were calling these elite coastal pants earlier because I had three pockets. Hoity toity didn't even used to be on your GPS. But it's it's you're It's not a destination yet, but it's on the GPS. By the way, you keep leaning towards that you don't need to just comfort. Wasn't that for comfort? Okay? Okay, um, so okay, yeah, so do you do you not? You're not headed towards hoity twits, You're not in hoity twitty, But it's on the map. It's an option

for you to go to give us your thoughts. And you've changed so much in the last ten years, mostly for the better, mostly for the better. Uh. But you're and you're so a fairly young man, So you're changing so the being a wine scarf guy, I'm sorry, what please elaborate on the scarf burnet a scarf and wine guy? You're you're I'm sorry? Have you ever seen me wear a scarf? And also if I did, who gives? I said? Headed towards Oh, I'm heading towards scarfton.

Yeah, okay, scarf city here, scarf City USA? All right, got it? You are, you're bandoning your Okay, so let's let's just hear the thoughts on wine. Wine's fine. I do think I do think that a lot of people drink wine because they think it makes them look classier than drinking whiskey. All right, I send to you with us. Do you think Mike Mhardy actually enjoys drinking wine? Yeah? Okay, all right, all right, you're not that far out of the left field here.

All right. I thought you were gonna say he's like trying to put on airs or something like when he was born, like his DNA was whitey twitty DNA when he was born on the Lacrosse farm. Yes, yes, okay, all right, so you're doing knowledge that people can enjoy whine. Do you think I enjoy wine? Do you think any part of me? Genuine question, do you think any part of me is putting on airs? No? Okay, So why do you think I'm drinking wine? Because you're not

wired. Why do you think I'm drinking wine? It's part of the whole evolution you being married. She's not even a wine. But what are you talking about it? It's just the whole. It's just what you do. What was that mean? You do different ship when you get married and you get settled down in domesticated and you get older, you do I love the domesticated thing. Well, there's the great toilet lid fiasco. It's the greatest divide in our relationship in the last five years is the toilet lid piasco.

You've got to admit. And again, mostly for the good. Do you have changed dramatically? And I think a lot. She's been really good for you. Oh my god. Yeah, you're getting close to resembling an adult, whereas before it was even close. But there are parts of you there are a lot more adults. And do you think if I hadn't gotten married, like I think, you ascribe a lot of things and changes to getting

married. You definitely have your thoughts on marriage and Jenner. Marriage is a life changer and a lot of right, do you think I would have changed? Like if I didn't get married? Do you think i'd be the exact same as when I was twenty five? No? Right? But you wouldn't be the sec same as you are now? Well? Sure, I mean every big life thing changes. You wouldn't be drinking wine, you don't think so? So wait, so you directly think I'm drinking wine because I got

married. I think it's a result of a by of you becoming married and older and set part of that and settled down, which she's not even really a drinker, right, Why would that has changed part of the whole settling down and being not a wild man drinker and being more sophisticated. You drink right full, drink ten button lights in a fucking stream and fart six times

on a stream and play donkey kock. I'm worried about seeming like adultery, But twenty years ago you would have drink forty lights and farted sixty times. That's I guess I am. It's not an overnight thing. Okay, I guess it's. Yeah. The fart scale is a is a gradual. It's a gradual thing. That's right. That's right. Again, I could be wrong. Do you think you are largely different than you were ten years ago? Yeah? Not in any good ways? Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.

What do you think? What are the what are the key things? Do you think I've become far less social? Yeah? I mean ten years ago you weren't exactly like you were. Pretty it was the beginning of the downfall, I mean yeah, yeah, the homebody thing, the not wanting to do anything. I feel like you were deep into that about ten years ago. Yeah, everything radically changed for me when I retired from the post office. That was the thing I was concerned. It was the structure.

The taking the structure out of my life wasn't good. That was the thing. I remember you talking to me when you were considering it, and I remember telling you on the phone that I could see it going one of two ways. I could see it either being well, this could be really really good for you. You now have all this time because people, it was a hard fucking job. You were busting her, especially during like holiday seasons

and stuff and time consuming exactly. Yeah, So I thought like, Okay, either this is gonna be you now have all this time, and you're gonna like, you know, you're gonna find hobbies and passions and go on vacations and travel and stuff. Or I withdrew into myself, that's the thing, And like I think I knew that inclination that you already had. And the other big thing is physically, Oh yeah, I mean because I didn't

I didn't have a walking route. I did most of the work in the truck, but I was on my feet for half the day and and physically active all day. And then I just I mean, there was a period of a or nine years, right, I didn't exercise, like barely did anything physical. Well, that's one area I want to give you credit. Very recently, like in the last year or so. Is that something happened and you decided he didn't want to feel like that anymore, and you have

actually started. You've got a gym membership, and we're being proud of you, but being like, oh okay, now you actually have to go. And I knew that because you are such a creature habit and you fear changed that like if you could just turn it into a habit, and like I know, like, look, I'm no fucking athlete. I need to work out way more than I do. It's it's the hardest part is getting it, making it a habit. But once you do, yeah, and that's

a struggle every time I do it. But yeah, but you're you're doing it now, yeah, three times a week. Yeah. And I even said, right when I saw you on this trip, it's like, oh we should that's uh. I noticed because like I used to get concerned when you know, you'd get halfway up a flight of stairs and have to like sit down and like we's basically or go to the mailbox and get winded. You know, like now you're you're cardio like walking around Boston and stuff,

like we to walk it. It's definitely better. Yeah. Yeah, does it just feel good? Yeah? I just got tired of feeling like shit. Yeah yeah, that's all that was. Yeah. I had that membership what five six years ago, and I was paying for it every month, not min It's ten bucks a month, which is insane. I don't know how the fuck every other gym is like eighty dollars a month and plan A Fitness is ten. That's where the Midwest is awesome. They planet fitnesses here

like East coast. They can't be ten bucks. I think they are. Really, Yes, are we sponsored? Can we be? Yeah? But he takes three hours to get there in traffic, and if you don't have a car, it's fifty bucks in an uber. Jesus you look. Big cities should just call themselves Welcome to the big City. Anywhere you want to go forty five minutes fifty bucks. I just every funk that we're just in Boston only two days. Every bar we go to, every time you go

to order a drink, oh, let's take a bud of light. What is that? Eighteen dollars? Four bartenders has been like, ah, I don't set the prices. It's just ridiculous. Yeah. I look today went to a barbecue place and uh, the ladies like, oh any any allergies? Just high prices. God, they love pull the string on you. It's like it's too expensive. They love waitresses, love old guys making jokes, oh god about things they can't control. Right. We came up with

a new character in Boston, what cookie guy? Cookie guy? Oh in Boston and a chief Predator picture because literally just every single thing you do, every single thing you buy, it's just uh too expensive. Too. It's showing. I don't know how many times I heard you say what don't say? Where I live my wikipedia, you would say every time. If I was back in Kansas, goose and gander, goose and gander, goose and gander. What does that mean? What? What is that? What's good

for the goose is good for the gander? What is it? What are you talking about? Everybody else knows? Sure? Okay, Oh, if I was back in Kansas, I could spend ten cents in cass I could go to McDonald's. It's spend four dollars on a meal. It's delicious, check and it fills me up. It's even got a drink check. But every single time, but here would be thirty bucks or yeah, but like, why even travel if that's how you liked, stay home and e McDonald

don't travel the big cities. That's the thing. If you quit moving these big cities, I'd quit. Definitely go to live in Boston. You wanted to go there? Ah, jeez, are you when I'm when I'm used to going out to lunch by myself and I can literally get a great meal for six bucks, and then all of a sudden, every lunch I have a sixty bucks. I mean we still have McDonald You don't think I'm supposed to balk with that. I mean we still have me. But I mean,

here's the difference. I feel like you, even when traveling or especially when you're home, like, you're not the type that like, oh, i'll treat myself. I'll go out and I'll get like a nice meal or something. I'm not talking some Michelin Star one hundred dollars meal or anything like that. I'm saying going out and spending twenty four dollars on a dinner and set of four dollars, it's ridiculous. So you don't see the value in it. No why because you and you're hungry, you get the meal,

you're not hungry anymore, the same result. You can do it for five bucks or fifty, So for you, it's it's purely utilitarian. Wow, look at you with a thirty dollar words thirty dollars words. Yeah, it's all about the money. So you never like, oh, I'm gonna treat myself and get this thing. Cost a little more, but I'm gonna get this. Occasionally I will splurge and do uber eats, but that's more a

root of convenience, convenience and laziness. So it's never just like I want to get a step, like, but I love McDonald's that I won't do that often. Yeah, but you know I love McDonald's. And I know you think I'm like hoity toity now or whatever, but like I'm still eat McDonald's and Taco Bell and Popeyes and shit like very very frequently, like at least once a week, right, Like, but I also like to occasionally like, oh, you know, we're gonna go out to like a nice

restaurant stuff. Oh god, something made a sound. If it wasn't that, it's that one, I'll go checho quick. I'm kind of digital coyote or something. Digital digital coyote. That's right, everyone loves the digital coyotes. They're really good. Yes, you should have seen him before they were playing a rat is sure, of course, seen him in the clubs. That's where the yeah, that's where the magic was. Yeah yeah, yeah. But you're hungry fulfill the need. You don't have to spend fifty bucks

to do it. List I'm with you, and the thing with you that's triply infuriating is you do your that phrase your eyes are bigger than your stomach. Oh sure, sure, so true. With you, you almost always order way more than can you eat, and then you get those it's a ritual. Now at this point, you get the star from box bringing home and then it never gets eaten and it gets thrown away. And it's because I hate wasting food. I do too. I do two. I hate

it. And it's like if it wasn't like a traveling thing where it's like on a time limit, then like I don't think I would do that. I think it's with you. We get appetizers when we go out, and I think it's the beers too. Well, yeah, but I'm talking more about like the appetizers like fill me up and like normally like monk and I aren't going to like you know, family feed farm places where it's given me

like twenty pounds of macaroni and cheese or whatever. So like it's too much food now that is on me. I need to like not order as much appetizers. And it's a lot of it's the drinks because I don't I mean, it's just a different way of doing things. That's fine, but I don't like to drink alcohol when I eat. Yeah, and so I'll usually just get water and usually get a couple six dollars beers. What is the right price for a beer? Three fifty max? Three fifty max. Yeah,

okay, like regular, like not on sale. I mean my standard used to be. I mean Bars Veussels twenty years ago, used to be you could get a beer for two bucks. Oh I was in college, or in dollars seventy five of those giant schooners Louisa's college town. Yeah, I love it. Seems like something that's annoyed you more as time's gone on is the selection of beers because you only need like two. I remember I looked at a drink menu and Boston you're just like, uh than I knew

would never look at a drink menu. He would just point and say, give me a beer and take one of the four beers that there should be. And like it's true, you really, I know, you really don't like it when beers have weird names. You told me, hmm, my friend's son drinks a beer called yoga pants. Oh, this one says kitten something. It was that kittens and cookies or something something. That there's a billion beers. They can't be good I mean, I don't know. I'm

not like a crap beer guy, despite what you think. Not a crap beer guy. Bacalar, Oh my god, I would love to hear you. Backlar would kill you. Me and back Lar and Broadway Alex should all go out, go out some time, and Jeff order fancy beer and won't be able to go there because there was a chicken there in nineteen eighty. You know, he'll sing about it. Oh, the beer is so expensive and there's so many choices. What should we do about the beer? Shut

up theater? Good, shut up Alex an order or something. Backlard it's like Backlar. I feel like it's like one if it's like Backlar's like pinball hockey and uh and like being a beer enthusiast, Like every time I drink, every time i'm drinking light or if I order by light, Backlar will always tell me, like, oh, you might as well just say I'll have a glass of piss. I'll drink my own piss. I'll just it's just like that's all because that's where you're drinking. It's just pee. It's

just piss. Like, what are your thoughts on that it tastes good. That makes me go ah. After about six of them, I will say I am with you on this again, despite what you have concocted in your head about me being a coastal elite beer snub. I drink to get drunk, that is it. But I think there are fun ways to mix it up. I think I think that like trying different flavors of beer or messing around with wine and stuff like that. It's just a fun different path that

I'm used to. I think that's that's a difference. I like that. I like the different paths. I like like experiencing as much as that stuff as possible. I think you find something that agrees with you, and you were like, I am gonna walk this fucking trail and stomp it down flat and only stay on this trailer, right, am I wrong? I'm not saying you're right or wrong or anything. I'm just saying this is how you

are right. Yeah. Yeah, but they've been got it. You have to admit that there are some people who drink off the wall beers and and and just to show hey, I'm different, I'm like in a replacement for a personality. It's like I'm the beer guy. Yeah, I'm sure, Yeah, I'm sure there's I think with any fandom, with any hobby, I think there's always that like, oh I want to, but not everyone. So a lot of people just genuinely like the thing, and I don't

think that's you. All right, all right, Oh, there's enough idiot left in you the last lifetime. You'll be fine. I've been getting ship for eight years for ordering a blue moon. You've got an idiot reservoir. That's huge. They're not gonna have blue moon this bar, this is a real bar in Kransas. They're not gonna have a blue moon. I'll have a blue moon. Okay, that'll be four dollars. That's the key. It was four dollars, oh instead of three fifty. No, that's fine.

That's just not stupid, like twelve dollars. I used to talking about, like old dependings and stuff. I used to like be very in college. I'd be like, I'm never paying there's no reason to ever pay over twenty dollars for piece of clothing. I'm never gonna do enough for a shure. You can get a pair of shoes for twenty dollars. I can get a meal. A meal should never cost more than eight, maybe ten dollars. I was so everyone with an ear shot I would never shut up about.

It's like, oh, I s sixty year old, view is twenty year old. I still think you're kind of right. No, you were saying, what twenty five is your your shoe limit? No, yeah, I don't need fancy shoes with an athlete's name as hats to it athletes name. I mean you see the tennis shoes I wear, I've been wear I've had that pair for like ten years. Man, No, there's nothing wrong with it. They're still fine. I put them on my feet and they

take me places and they were like thirty bucks. I'm just telling me about a friend that is like a big sneaker head, and that seems like a fucking hobby that I feel like, there are a lot of hobbies that you don't approve of sneakerheads. Whatever, I pa, guys, whatever makes you happy, go for It'll just talk mountains of ship, but just don't do it to make it appear that you're someone that you're not or better than you are. Sure, sure, okay, I would say that's the thing I

think both of us can lay claim too. Is that like I don't think either of us try to be anything we're not right. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's a direct result of my father. I really do. Yeah, you know, because my dad worked his ass off and did pretty well in the grocery business, and but you would never know it. I remember he would. He'd walk around with paint splattered shirts. He always inexplicably had paint all of himself. I remember once he was he was so uh He's

like, uh, you got this friend. I forgot what friend you're talking was like, she never says I'm getting in the car. She says, I'm getting in the Cadillac. I'm getting in the Cadillac. Like we know you got a Catillac. Like he really didn't hate that. Yeah, I mean on the rare occasion, like every ten years, my dad get a new car and he wouldn't take it to work because he didn't want anybody to

know he was making enough money to get a new car. He would purposefully try to make it seem like he didn't have money take the other car. Yeah. Really, he didn't want to put on airs. Yeah, man, I respect that a lot of that. Grandpa was amazing. He was one of the best people I've ever known. He really was. Yeah, he was fantas es major segue. Here, we gotta talk about angry cheese lady. Let me go. You start telling them and I'll go. Good,

grab some wood, make a joke about penises. We gotta talk about my penis. Oh yeah, we gotta talk about your penis. Hang on, do you want to set up the angry cheese lady? Then we'll go with your penis. One thing I've learned in sixty years is people love hearing about my penis. Are you here here? I want to be here for the penis talk? So, uh, let me you start talking about angry cheese lady. I need to go get some wood. You're you're gonna go

get some wood. I'm gonna go get some wood. We're rolling. Are you sure she's still awake? Oh that was funny. Oh well that was funnier that. Okay, I smoke a sagarette off camera, some sigarette on camera. It's legal smoke high folks. I'm yang without the yang here. But yeah, Daniel's changed a lot, but it's mostly for the good, and I give his I've credit for that. She she has made him quite a bit more mature and it's it's fascinating to watch him with her because he's

the most loving, attentive husband I've ever seen. And it's not even the honeymoon period anymore. They've been married quite a while. He's just they're they're both genuinely, really sweet to each other. It's good, simultaneously nice and disgusting to see. But um, I probably I didn't know. I know, I never had that type of relationship. But that was totally me because I was way too selfish. But this cannot turn into a therapy session anyway.

I was saying nice things about you. Oh my god. They were all lies. You can't do that on the internet. They were all lies, but I was saying them. Oh are you talking about the cheese lady? Noah, I want to talk about my penis and the cheese lady. Oh yeah, it sounds like a horrible children's book. Well it's too different too. I just cut myself open. Come on, that was funny. Yes, I just cut myself. What'd you do it? I grabbed some

wood and got a splinter. Oh, the Pinocchio had that problem. I'm trying to come up with all wooden character the Pinocchio story, all right, talking about the cheese ladies. This is not like a Dylan lyric grabbing some wood, got a spinny, just lack oh pinocchio. Cheese lady. I had a vendor at the at Fenway Park. Yell at me, and it wasn't None of it was my fault. Of course. Google ahead, I'm gonna smoke. Okay, um turns off. I'm learning now about all the

recording length of all my cameras. They're all turning off. Um, so it went for themselves. Yeah, I guess there's maximum recording times for somebody. Anyway, We're at Fenway and we go up to get a couple of big hot dogs, and uh, the ladies like, I said, I want a cup of cheese with my hot dog. And she felt the cheese ups and said they're all cold, but I can. I can squirt some

some hot stuff on it for you. And I was like, yeah, yeah, that sounds great, And so she squirts the hot stuff out of the Toastito's machine onto it and then she says the dad, Okay, that'll be eighteen dollars. Do you want to tip? And he goes no, and she goes, really, I sprayed, I gave you free cheese because there supposed to be three dollars, but since she did the spray, there was no charge. And I was unaware of all that, right, right, I gave you free cheese, and you're not gonna tip me? And

you were. You kept saying Boston people were no nonsense, like they'll, you know, tell you what they think. And he was like, oh, and you pull out your wallet and all you had was one hundred and a twenty and you're like, oh, tip you. And she's like, I can't take that. It's cashless, and so it's just a very awkward end of that conversation. Well, first of all, and I think most people agree with me on this. Yeah, it's not a price based thing.

It's a location based thing. You don't tip at the ballpark when you're buying a hot dog and a soda or a beer. Um. I will frequently do a dollar on I don't know. Usually when there's like a tip thing, I'll usually at least a dollar, unless it's like an actual like service thing, and then I'll always do twenty plus, you know. But they're already screwing and it's not the work. I understand that it's not the

worker doing that. It's higher ups. Butting. I go to a lot of like wrestling things, and I'll get a beer and it's like fourteen dollars for beer, and it's like what the fuck? But I figured at that point a dollar more is not gonna kill me. You know, he'll kill me. So your penis. Tell the folks about your penis. Oh, the tales. I could tell. What's the what's the worst day your penis ever had? About a month ago. You're talking like Quint from Jaws.

Tw was a cloudy morning, my penis was angry. Quit talking like that and just tell the story. It's an angry penis day of my friends. No, I uh, I had gone to the gym. I usually go really super early because I get up early and I'm getting really tired by the way. Here we go, here we go. And so anyway, I went to the gym and I left the gym, and like always when I go there, I feel good after I'm done about myself, which is like twice a month of currency. So I was riding a wave and I thought,

well, I'm out, it's a breakfast time. I might as well makes money. So I flip on just greets. I don't know if for the people who don't know you can. As a driver, you can specify whether you're want do rides, eats, both, or none. I usually choose none. I only drive when I'm in the mood to deal with people, so I never drive. So I did Greets and I got this order from Walmart and it was for two orders, and I had never picked up

from Walmart before, so I didn't quite know how it worked. Anyway, there's a special zone you park in and then you notify them that you're there and they bring the order out to you. Right, So I'm waiting and I'm waiting and I don't know burp, Sorry, I don't know. I can't burp. Do you know that about me? Weird? You're like the opposite of Kala with that stuff. Oh my god, super up enough for both of us. You've seen the on command thing. It's incredible, right,

so wow? Yeah, yeah, it's very impressive. Anyway, So I'm waiting. I'm waiting, and as I'm waiting, my middle aged bladder is barking at me, and I'm realizing that I'm gon aa to go the bathroom pretty soon. And with me, it goes from that to red alert, red alert pretty quickly. And my first thought was, Paul, just going to Walmart, P get oar with and you can relax. But then I thought, no, if I do that, the guy's gonna come out with the stuff and it's gonna cause a huge problem. I'm gonna have to

make phone calls and text messages and everything's gonna be delayed. And I said, I'll just write it out. I'll get these orders. I'll find a bathroom. Right. Unfortunately, it wasn't food, like there's a time crunch, like something doesn't get cold. It's just groceries. Sure, so the guy finally comes out, I get taken care of. P P is up to code level three. Okay, so the old terror alert system right, yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, my bladder was at orange. Yeah,

this is what Ashcroft's been doing. Probably dead, winning an ashcraft Ashcraft that did the terror alerts, as say, that's what he's done since his retires, working under bladder alert. It's probably dead though he's in a bunker somewhere. So anyway, and ironically, not ironically it's ron choice of words, but amusingly, one of the orders was for an ex girlfriend, which

I thought was really funny anyway. So so my initial plan was foiled because when I got the directions for the first one, there was no gas station, convenience store, nothing in sight nowhere where I could use a restaurant. So then I thought, Plan B is, Okay, dropped this on their porch. Then I'll find a bathroom. Then I'll go to the second one. Sure, so I dropped the first one off on the porch, I started hitting towards the second one, bladders up to code red. I realize

I'm not gonna make it all right. And this is a frequent occurrence in the mornings. It is because I drink at a liquids in the morning. Sure, sure water and mountain dew. So um. I happen to be in a pretty upscale neighborhood kind of place where you don't just whip out the way. What what neighborhood is? Okay for whipping out the way? Yeah, it's a good, good point. It's frowned upon in most neighborhood. Let's just say it would be frowned upon more. Okay, got it.

The frown would be harder, more downturned, and the frown would be accompanied by a call to nine one one. So I have to stop. I have to go. I have to go, And so I positioned my car in a way so that wouldn't be facing like the front of a house or a playground full of kids. Sure. The last thing I'm gonna do is be on a sexual offender. Last guest, Now this goes. This is

where part two of the story comes in. From my thrilling middle act, the saga The Empire Strikes Back of Your Soca, a fallic adventure from my days as a mailman, I learned that it's always good to have something to pee into. Sure, yeah, sure. And as a driver, yeah, I mean emergencies, right, So I always have like a pringle scan or any kind of cylindrical container that you can do your stuff in. Sure number number one of course? Yeah, something right? No? Right?

Uh? I hate a joke there, I'm gonna let that one go. Oh um, I'd whispered too, but they'd hear that too. Okay, I can mute it. You have you ever shitted into something? Go ahead? Oh my god, that's why I didn't say it. Don't camera, go on, Church, No, no, you could. We gotta get back to that. But go on. I'm not gonna interrupt you. Good God, I hate that. I know, That's why I do it.

Um, So I had at some point, um it was a cylindrical container, and I think it was one of those things that contained like disinfectant wipes. Oh yeah, yeah, like I like a chlorox and pull it out those pull it out of the top. Yeah they're great. But I had, you know, taken the top off it. The dispensy thing foil thing wasn't on it, sure right, So I just had the empty canister for this reason. So I suddenly get back in my driver's seat and I started

to do my business in this thing. You're an eight, And the second I started just horrible burning sensation. You know, where was there any kind of nick or Gray's happening with the whole as you went in? We had to have been and he just but you didn't notice that at the time. Well, I know is pain immediately, so oh but you still went through because I had to go so bad that the second I knew it was safe to go, okay, I started going. So it would have been simultaneous.

Okay, I see, so just this horrendous pain, like on fire pain. So I just got out enough to where I knew I could just I didn't obviously go the whole thing. I just did enough so I could complete the next delivery, which if they knew what was going on, Oh my god, health thrilled? Would you be thrilled? YEA, of course. Yeah. So I get just a little bit pee in the thing, and then I put the stupid thing. Tried to put it in my cupholder

and it was too wide. It wouldn't fit in the cupholder, so I had to hold it up against the other seat with one hand to make sure it didn't spill, because that would be nightmare part two, of course. So I'm driving one hand. I god delivery. I rushed to the gas station to finish the rest of the pee. I go into the thing and I'm peeing and I see blood and it hurt like I'm a lot or it was yet the weird thing about it, it was just the initial burst it

was blood and the rest was yurine. But it was horribly painful that area, and it was the whole process was painful. It was bad. So of course I turned off the driver app I'm not clear they're not gonna be driving the rest of the day. So, by the way, I love the irony that you at first would not even order Fuber Eats or door Dash when it came around. Yeah, because you thought, oh, you're gonna just hire anyone, and guy's gonna be putting his panis on my pizza.

And I'm like, meanwhile, here you are having a whole penis saga all delivering food. Yeah, yeah, that's interesting. Yeah. Anyway, so I go home and for the rest of the day it was the same thing. The rest of that day, blood and pain. And then starting the next day, Here's the funny part is when I well I didn't say this, but when I went to the gas station, they were doing some construction

work or something, so they had one of those temporary dumpsters outside. Yeah, I took obviously, I wanted to get the year and thing either so bad, so I threw the whole thing in this dumpster. And I realized later, I said, because I really wanted to know what the hell was on that thing that cut me. Yeah, and I wanted to go rooting through the dumpster. And I remember calling you and telling you everything, and

we imagine this, I'll eat you done. Just go ahead, imagine this scenario where I'm rooting through the dumpster and the construction guys come up, and I say, oh, don't mind me. I'm just looking for my special peak up. That's all love. The idea of you showing up later to rifle through the evidence like you're looking for like a killer. You're just trying to find the cup that wronged your penis. Jesus Price. So you called me with a great concern. This is probably gonna be funny at some point.

We'll probably talk about it at some point. Done a thing. But right now, remember I remember the way I set it up for you. I said, I hurt my dick, while I shouldn't have said that. The company name. If you want to beep it, yeah, okay, yeah, please do sure. Yeah, so the way this story ends, Siri reminded me beep okay. So for like two or three days, same thing, blood at first, and then pain, and then it was really weird the blood went away. I was I've never been scared to pee in

my life. Well, well, on the other thing, wait what now I'm trying to understand what wait, let alone the other thing? Everyone scared to be Oh masturbad is that what we're oh? Oh, Okay, okay, sorry, go going, I'm sorry. Yes, wanking the weasel. Wanking the weasel. What you say that was off the books for a while. Oh yeah, it's tragic. So after a day or two, Um, it would be painful. And it was painful during the pea part and shortly after, and then it became it only hurt after And and I looked

down there the penis and it was raw. It was it was the redness. Yeah, yeah, it was. It was not a happy penis. So what is the what is your assumption about exactly what happened? I think I cut it the underside of it on a little. I think, you know how sometimes I could give it wasn't peanut butter, but say like a jarra pean bear. Yeah, there's just the thing. You got to feel the foil thing, and sometimes when you peel it off, it doesn't come

off clean and there's like little shards of the plastic or whatever. The Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what happened. That there was a it was just in the haste of needing to pee. No, I didn't tear it off in it was all ready to pee into. No, but in the haste of needing to pee. You just did not feel the nick and that's what happened. Well, I think I felt it to me leacause I put it

in and peed instantly. All right, right, um, but I think there was a little terror strip left on that thing from when I taken off whenever. And I mean it was pretty clear that something like that had happened. And eventually I did go to doctor, and I have a female doctor, so that's fun. And uh, you know, she just kind of agreed that what happened happened. You gave her the real story. Oh yeah, we have a good relationship. You can talk about your peak up with

your doctor. That's good. It's important with that. Of course, she's great. Yeah, it's almost like visiting your friend. It's Larry, really Yeah, a friend that you checks out your penis and make sure it's okay. That's all my friends. Oh and what I thought would happen happen. It didn't heal for a while. I tip full three weeks. Yeah. Yeah, I love how when I told you the scenario about I hurt my penis while ride sharing. Yes, that you assumed I'd gotten in some sexual

thing with somebody like I'm that stupid. I've had some frantic cults of that. But anyway, Yes, I actually told my sisters said on Easter Sunday. Really yeah, really, that's It's wonderful. It's like the famous skid Mark conversation on Thanksgiving dinner. We don't have to Retreadswami. That's the penis story. It's a good penis story. Penis is okay now though, Oh yeah, better than never. Oh yeah, he's back in the game. Baby. He what's his name, A tiny Elvis? His name is tiny

Elvis. No, I don't know if you want to. He's a sad, lonely old thing. He didn't get reason. He didn't have a reason to get angry much anymore. Angry penis gets angry. We'll talk about my theory on when sex becomes gross and weird and stupid. Sure, yeah, you scientific theory. I've assigned a year to win an age when sex is just just stop stop having sex? Yeah, why because it's weird and gross and sloppy and stupid. What's the age fifty two? How many times you

had sex since the age of fifty two? My share? Your share was a gross and weird and you should stop for them. Probably for you. Oh, this is not the same. You don't have the air. Yeah, yeah, it's so nice. Little. Here's the thing, it's it's a it's a you're you're not a married man, you're not in a relationship. I believe it's it's not just a ah the kernel, you know, it's like it's a love thing. You just reach a point where you want to eat a cookie and sent in a chair. That's it's fifty two.

Sorry, honey, it's been a good run. That's where it starts. I'm gonna eat this cookie and sent in a chair. And let's be honest. I mean, I mean attractiveness on both sides fades. Your body's subjective, your body's change. Yeah, of course, the thought of two old people with stretch marks and bellies, and it's the human condition. We're all destined for it. And it's flappy stuff and this stuff, it's not a disqualification. You don't beauty. You don't need to be flapping that shit around.

Just stop. It should have sent a poet, you had, you had a good thirty year run. Just live off that. Stop having Would you make it illegal to have sex over fifty two? I'd love to see President Paul, what would have if you ran so twenty twenty four? What are the key things you're running on? Well, I mean not serious shit like Paul stuff. No more helmets and dugouts after you hit a home run. That's a big one for me. Okay, that's an important one.

Is that. That's number one. It's not even helmets, it's stupid comic book bullshit. That's number one. No, okay, I mean you give me time and I'll come up the list of hundred things. Sure. Sure. What's what's illegal in your your first year illegal? What's what is newly illegal in your first year in office? Uh? Ear gauges? Why, there's just no reason for it illegal? What's what's the descentans? Uh? You have your ears chopped off? Have your ears chopped off? If you

have a gauge? Yeah, well I had a line there my next Oh god, huh, all right, so that's illegal. Whatever I've learned from Mark Marin about being a boomer, a woke boomer, he nailed. He nailed being a woke Nothing sounds older than saying I'm a woke boomer. He nailed what it's like to be our age and to be a fairly liberal person. Sure, you know you're eighty He just what he did was he described himself as being eighty five percent woke. Sure, and the other fifteen percent

maybe just don't say that stuff. Sure, It never really hit me because that's kind of how I feel about myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, But ear gages fair game. What's the point of that. It looks what's the point of anything. It looks insane. It fucks your ear up. People are gonna make judgments on you about it. You're not gonna get a goddamn job. You were talking like you were running a grocery store. You're

not going to get a job if you have an ear gage. Maybe a hot topic or something, Oh my god, go that way about tattoos. No, okay, two is a fair game ear gages, in fact, they're gonna get a job in fact, on on never mind that was fifteen percent. I keep to myself, I know a lot of people with ear gages that have very good jobs. Oh, there's you know many people the video game it this rev ear gages to say, not in the real world. You don't. You don't think there are people in the real world that

have ear gages and good jobs. More than no one makes more than twenty bucks an hour if they have an ear gage. Maybe in like a high end Boston or New York coffee shop. All right, So if you're in a Boston or New York coffee shop, because I see and I think, yeah, I think they get a cut of that. Yeah, it comes down, Sit down. Tips would be high. Oh the tips. Okay, it comes down. And tell the folks about your cool new thing. You say, wow, looks the guy, it's a good moon. What

are the odds to be not drunkenly tripping over these wires? That's what I tell you to go around this, wires and steps. This is a drunk middle age guys, fire and fire, steps, wires and fire. That's right. Tell the folks about your cooler thing. You say, well, it's all tongue in cheek. It's still he keeps it's maybe tongue in cheek origins. But you do keep doing it all year around you and I do it just because I know i'd get the reactions I did the same reason you

do. All the ship to me, all right, tell them um. Spoiler alert can assume most people have seen breaking bad. Well, yes, but also this is not a spoiler. It's not a plot thing. No. There's a character named Skinny Pete in Breaking Bad and they're the young, you know, street drug pedaling guys. So they're hipped to the street, just like Hug You Bear. Jesus, you keep aging with everything you say you do. Hug You Bear was starting yes, yeah, okay, yeah,

he was the coolest guy around him. Sure, yeah, that man new the street. Okay, go on. So Skinny Pete was the Huggy Bear of twenty thirteen, right, sure. So when I was rewatching Breaking Back for the fifth time, which is amazing that I've done that, because if you know me, which you clearly don't, they knew all the hip new phrases. So written by Vince Gilligan, it's like a fifty something wild dude. So whenever anyone would say something that Skinny Pete agreed with, and

part of it was the body language too. The folks can see you where which camera hit him over here, like tell us it's just say it's a really nice night. It's really nice night to night church. That's my thing. And so the last time I was watching that, I thought Dan will hate this. I put it in my boomer pocket, and I've been saying it a lot on this trip, and he's hated it a lot every time.

So mission accomplished. Everybody nice. Yes, I want to go back to this ear gage thing because I think it's hilarious that you think nobody can get a job if they have that. What else? What else is in that category? Not in the real world? What is the real world? Video game industry is not a real world. It's a very weird I get it, okay, But you don't think somebody could get a grocery store a post office. You don't think anyone can get a job at a grocery store

with ear gauges. They'd give menium wage job. You don't think they can move up and becoming. You don't use any managers. I've had managers at movie theaters that have ear gauges in Kansas, the any any job that the God, I'm gonna get so much hate mail for this hate mail. I know I'm old job. You're really good at grabbing a shovel when you're already in a hole. Any industry that's geared towards a younger employee base, that's

gonna happen, like movie theaters, generally or younger. Okay, you don't think there's insurance agents that have ear gage? Oh you don't think there are any insurance challenge find me one. You don't think there are any insurance agentes that have ear gages? I doubt it. Oh boy, Okay about car salesman? Do they count? No? Because those guys are kind of renegades? Rid Okay, Um, what are what are real job? What count is real jobs? And post office grocery stores? You never saw anyone of

the post office at the ear gages? Minimum wage? Okay, nobody in positions management or anything. Okay, extremely exists because that was the thing that started like becoming a thing like find me one, just find me want to get back with me? Folks, If anyone wants to link in the contents, I'll hit you with my digits and you can. You can let me know about this. What else is in the category of like ear gages? That's like an instant DQ illegal never gonna get a job? Oh well this

might this one might get me kills. Oh good, I'll whisper it and you tell me thanks, say it. Go for it, go for it, any go for it. You keep broadcasting where I live. This is not good the place you've said a million times. Anyway, he did say it. It's not that bad any tattoo above the collar bone. I got a friend with a tattoo, big fucking tattoo on his neck, and uh, he makes millions of dollars a year legally, legally. Yo, Yeah, I have no problem tattoos. I think tattoos are great. I think

they're gonna regret it in like forty years. But why because they'd look weird after. Have you ever see the old like World War two guys they had they My father in law has one, and it's looking awesome. It's like a little like but as your skin gets hold and it gets all crankly and all these sexy little you know, corns and rainbows and dolphins and stuff are gonna look really stupid old like sailor like mom, tattoos are cool or like

not when you're seventy. My father in law of seventy something and his tattoos cool. Well, he had a good artist. Then, Okay, so tattoos about the collarbone. You're not gonna be cornering me into a corner with your own opinions, with all these things that everybody's gonna hate me for they're your actual opinions, not this gotcha journalism here on the deck. I'm just

a crabby old man. I know. I just I've always I don't know I admired the word, but I've always been fascinated by your confidence with some of these opinions. Namely, we talked about it on the new one that I'm fascinated with, and we talked about a bit on a stream we just did. Is your opinion? Sighing at your own opinions, you said, with the utmost, it just a conviction. Soccer is not a sport. It's an activity. And there was a follow up tonight on the stream that

I loved. I asked you what boxing was and if boxing was a sport, and you thought about it and you said, no, boxing isn't a sport. Boxing is a challenge, which is such a weird way to put that well, And I threw something in after that is anything is one on one thing cannot be a sport because there's no one on one sports. Fencing is not a sport. No, it's a skill. Ping pong, that's

a skill. Okay, okay, So name the sports. There's three that I officially in my brain gets the stamp baseball, basketball football, baseball basketball football. Okay, hockey is hockey a sport? Hockey's borderline? Hockey is a borderline sport. Okay, Tennis, no, one on one. There's also doubles tennis. But is double's tennis a sport? No, it's the same, It's a variation of the same activity. So tennis is an activity. Yeah what and it takes tremendous talent to do it? Sure? Sure,

I'm not discounting that. Sure, Okay, Um, what are the parameters for sport? We've been through this, but not on this. Oh that's a different stupid thing. See how can I bury myself? No on this one, your actual opinions, I would know. I just want to talk it through. What is what makes a sport? Plenty of offense? Define offense, points points on the board? Okay, right, okay? Where soccer is like the ultimate example of and and and related to that,

you cannot have something in in a tie. And although I accept football as being a sport in the regular season, they do have ties, which I've always thought was stupid. But football is a sport absolutely Okay, But they should change that there should never be a tie in front. Okay, but so all right, so we gotta okay, there's enough offense. There's enough offense in baseball for it to be a sport. Yeah, yeah, okay, but not soccer and not hockey hockeys borderline, What about tennis? There's

lots of Does tennis not have offense? Yeah, but they call it love instead of zero. It's not offense because they call it a different thing. That's just stupid. Well, sober I don't see tennis being disqualified here. Let's get back to the other thing. What else does sports? What else is a sport clock? The clock has to move forward if there's a clock. Wait, so does there have to be a clock? Uh? There didn't use to have to be in baseball, and now there kind of is.

And there is clocks in football. There is clocks in basketball with the caveat. Baseball has a clock now, but it's it's timing individual instances. The overall length of the game has no time, got it, Okay, whereas football does and it's a wacky clock. Yeah. Now soccer has double trouble in this in this regard because the clock goes backwards. That's one factor loan soccer, you let yourself getting the hit with the ball. It's really dumb. And you can't use your hands. That's a big one too,

because you can't use your hands in baseball football. So the ones that are officially sports, it's got to be small basketball, football you can use your hands, and there has to be a ball and there well, okay, football is a ball. Okay, Well, soccer has a ball. Tennis has a ball, right, So I'm still not saying that is qualified for the other reasons. Tennis is disqualified because it's one on one. It's one. What about double tennis? I'm still not seeing way double tennis it doesn't

count because the core route of the game is the one on one. Is just an extension of that. It's the same stupid thing. Just work with me here, I know. I am trying to just piece of the logic together here, Okay, Um, other parameters for sport, there's several of the time clock, the offense, what was the other the ball? There was something else. Oh, it has to be a team thing. You ask me more than one on one? Okay, why? Because that's one

of the things that makes the sport of support. Who decided that me. Okay, we've got there. Okay, okay, trying to think other you said, you know, darts aren't a sport. Pool. Darts is definitely an activity. So pool is one on one. So pool isn't a sport to you has lots of balls and you love pool. I love pool, I used to. Okay, all right, so there's three sports. And remember anything you're drinking at, anything you can drink at and it's not a

problem while you're doing it is not a sport. Okay, So that disqualifies pool, Bowling, dark, anything you could do in a bar is not a sport. Okay. I mean there's Papa Shop, but that's not traditional basketball, right, got it? Okay, that's maybe one on one, that's one on zero. That's true. Let's see you against yourself, Okay. I think tennis is the biggest one where I think you're stretching. I have a ton of respect. Also, soccer, which is objectively the biggest

sport on the planet. Do you do you at least concede to reality that soccer is immensely more popular than baseball everywhere, but here it's probably getting closer. Okay, do you think in ten years soccer will be more popular than baseball. What are the what's the criteria viewers? I don't know. I don't pay attention to that. To a viewer, how many viewers? Something else? What do you consider to be the barometer for popularity? I don't

know how intrenched it is in the American moral fiber. I'll tell you I got a lot more people I know that look, and I'm not. I don't want to be soccer defender here. I don't give it. I've watched like two soccer games in my life. I've been bored out of my mind both times. I'm just trying to figure out the logic here. Like, I know a ton of people that are really into soccer. I know like three people that are really into baseball. Well that's a that's a generational thing.

Well, don't you think that's baseball is not popular with younger people. Don't you think that's troubling for its its future? Oh? Absolutely? Okay, So you can you see a world the future baseball is kind of not a big thing in America. I can't see a time where it will not exist, but sure, it's popularity has been waning for a long time. Do you see a time when baseball is not as commonly on TV and stuff it is as it is now, and soccer is a big thing on TV

in America. Nobody's gonna watch TV on watch soccer on TV. No one's gonna watch soccer, and people will because it's an event. Have you seen the ratings for the World Cup and stuff. Yeah, but that's that's like, that's like your mom and the Chiefs. She doesn't give a shit about the Chiefs. Do you know soccer fans? Huh? Do you know soccer fans? I knew one. What makes you think it's like a fake fandom? People I know that are into soccer are extremely fucking into soccer. Don't

do that. Yeah, well you just did. You just said that you thought it was like a fake fandom. It's more of an event to go to. What does that mean? It means they're not actively interested in the sport itself. It's an event to be at. So people going to soccer games aren't into the sport. A lot of them are, but not everybody in the stadium. Here's my biggest question, what are you basing any of the song? My life's experienced? The reason? What I base anything on?

M I could be wrong. It's possible, it is possible. It reminds me that line from the Eagles song I could be wrong, but I'm not. I've got to go ahead and say you're wrong on this one. But to each their own, it's fine. Don't marter. I'll be dead in twenty years. The man, what's eighty year old? Look like me? Yeah? Oh, squeeze something. I'm gonna share this depressing thought I had a couple of weeks ago. I don't know. I think I told

you okay, oh yeah. This one hit me because I've been turning sixties the first birthday. It's ever bothered me anyway, but I thought of this recently. There's a young player in the Royals named Bobby Witt Junior. Remember league site about he's phenomenal talent, but he's like twenty one, twenty two years old, and I was like, man, this kid does well and stays healthy, he could make the Hall of Fame. And it hit me, Oh shit, he makes the Hall of Fame, I probably won't be

here to see it. And that really hit me hard. I thought, like that has never hit me before. Yeah, it's it's sobering, definitely. I mean that stuff only happens like more and more as you get old. Like I know, I'm just try at forty, but like I'm starting to have that stuff where it's just like oh fuck, like that one slapped me across the face. Yeah it's true. Yeah, I remember mine was that. I remember like being a wrestling fan, like in the nineties.

I remember watching like this guy Edge come up and he was he was this young hot talent that like, you know, I was like, oh man, this kid's gonna be major potential here. And I just remember being an old enough fan to like, oh man, I'm very excited about this like new prospect, you know. And I've seen his entire career. I've seen

him get forced into retirement. I've seen him kind of come back, and now he's you know, talking about like, yeah, I've probably got maybe another year, another two that i can compete at this level or whatever. And to think of, like, oh, I'm old enough to have like remembered when he was this like twenty something, you know, newcomer and seeing this whole thing and like then he's gonna have to retire Like oh Man's like that makes me feel old, you know. Yeah, Well there's there was

an evolution for me in terms of baseball. I first started noticing when baseball players were getting younger in me. I was like whoa, And then managers started getting younger in me. Now there are a few owners younger than me. Yeah, it's like, oh, man, I remember you back when

the first players were getting younger than you telling me about it. And I never felt it until you know, Xavier Woods when I started to hang out with him, and then I realized that, like, oh shit, he's like two or three years younger than me, and I was like, oh

god, damn. I kind of hate when things are just kind of taken off the table where it's like I hate ever hearing that I can't do something, where it's like even if right now, if I dropped everything and dedicated my entire life like just got personal trainers, did all this, like for some reason, if I decided I wanted to become an NBA player, yeah, and I dedicated my entire life to it, there's no chance in hell

that's a possibility. Like, I just hate the idea of like just seeing all the possibilities for your life because I was always someone that thought like, you can do anything, just work hard and you can be anything and just seeing like scratch that off, scratch that off. It's mostly like physical stuff, but you know it's like, right, it's frustrating to me. Oh and that snowballs after a while. Oh, I'm sure. My my friend's mom has a I showed you as a picture of me when I was little,

like eight or nine. Yeah, and it's really sweet. It's because she thinks highly mean same. I feel the same way for her. But there's a picture me and tucked in her little cupboard in her kitchen, and she sent me a picture of it the other day and I said, yeah, back when I had hopes and dreams. And this is not an original thought, but I think I thought it was at the time. Maybe it's not. But you know, some people have a when you get older.

Instead of a bucket list, you have a fucket list. It's it's the list of things that you know aren't gonna have you're just written off. Yeah, well, it's kind of what you were talking about. Here. Here's a fun one. H is getting married on your fucket list? Oh? No, I was it on your fucking list of things that aren't going to happen? Getting married again? Yeah? Of course. Okay, I don't

see myself ever going on date again. Sure, sure, I've heard you at times like what I assumed was joking like, oh, here's your next step mom, I know what you mean. Yeah, I know. So I didn't know if that was any part of that, Like, is there any chance you're ever married again? Honestly, I don't see myself ever dating again any desire at all? Oh no, is there any scenario which, uh, there's there's a scenario, but it's never gonna happen. Sure,

sure you know somebody who's extremes. Oh you're you're whole theory on Jenniger Sean of course, Well that, but that's a whole different thing. Wouldn't get in there. He has aspirations of dating Sean can Gina, if you're watching, we can get into that. If you want to feel free. I think it's a great thing. Yeah, go into it. I think in case Gina's watching, yes, Uh no, The thing was where was I

going with this? Oh? Any scenario where you see that happening? He's what you said or something like that, and in which you'd get married, is it? Yeah? I mean, if if it's like the old George Costanza thing where he found that woman who who physically he was reading her profile or something and said, physical attractive and it's not important, wouldn't it versa

to me? It might have been. I don't remember exactly, but if you like stock, if I get somebody that I was incredibly attracted to and was was really smart and really funny and who didn't give a shit that I'm rapidly aging in not a ideal weight and losing my hair and all the shit that happens when you get older, because she's like me, because whatever reason, she's like baseball cards. What was the old joke? Oh it was Carlin said he was looking for a a nymphomaniac coke dealer who owned a car

dealership. That's what he was looking for, very specific. Yeah, yeah, oh no, And I'm totally okay with that. I had, you know, I had her. I had a run and I had my shot, and I'm horrible relationships. I realized that now. Sure I'm not happy at him, I'm not good at him. Oh, I can't see current you. There's no one who someone who just traveled with you for a couple of days. I cannot imagine you living with someone ever again. Oh No, I'm way too and entrenched in my ways now. I mean I always

was, but I was. I would try before, Sure, but I won't even try now. Yeah. And anything that makes me get out of my habits or my routine, anybody making it of my house, anybody makes me get out of my routine or not anybody, but anything, I kick at it like a mule. Oh I've noticed. Yeah, yes, Um, can we talk about something that doesn't make me look like an asshole? I would stop. I'm not calling an asshole. Pick of your brain? I am. You're calling you an asshole. I don't think I'm an asshole.

I think I'm opinionated and stubborn. Sure, fair, Yeah, what do you want to talk about? I've talked about anything with you. Sure. I love talking to you. I'm talking to you. It's great. You're an interesting guy. Dude, What do you wanna do? You want to wrap up this part here and I'll bring the cameras in and we gon just hang out. No, no, you want to keep a coca. It's like we're trying to wind down. I really have a chance to talk like this, Sure, And you know what's this happens to me. It's

happened to me recently. But um, you know, I've got a couple of friends that I've dinner with. You know, it used to be every couple of months. Bits with COVID and everything, it's been whacked. But um, church, Um, I find that I'm so seldom seldom lea is that a word? So seldom ly yeah, around people that when I am there's so many things that I realize I haven't talked about in a while. Oh did I tend to? I feel I feel like I talk way too

much and dominate conversation. And I've gone out to dinner. You know, these friends, I've gone out to dinner with them and texted them afterwards and said, hey, I'm really sorry if I talked way too much. But I went out to birthday dinner with my daughter last Saturday night, and I had that same sensation because it was really fun, it was really nice, but I felt like I was just you seem very up in your own head

about what people like you. You you were telling me on this trip, but like your greatest fear is looking stupid, and like I think you get very up in your own head about like, oh god, did I do this too much? Did I do that too much? I think you're just doesn't anything to do with being stud feeling stupid. No, I'm just saying I think you are up in your head about how other people view you.

You don't even really care how other people view me anymore. Yeah, well, I mean even just the way you were saying about like, oh, what's I talking too much? I doing this? Like, yeah, I think you're I think you do that a lot. Yeah, I think that's changed a lot, because there was a time when there's no way I would go like the grocery store of the post office and my slippers and my hair

and my hair all fucked up. Yeah. Yeah, I just don't care, I know anymore, because you know, when you're younger, you never

know when you're gonna meet somebody you know or strike up a conversation. Sure, and when you're young and you have dreams, you think, God, you never know, you might meet some money in a park bench or something, and well it's not always like I'm meeting somebody thing you know, or you just to him about it, like pride and the parents, or worry about what people think of you or what do you and if you met somebody you're interested in. You want to look your best. But well, but

what do you think about like what somebody's married? Like do you think like like, do you think people shed that when they get married because you don't want to have them You're talking about meeting someone you know like to a degree?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you think people just like, let's just give up on other things when they get married or well, I mean that's how you always view a marriage, was that you have to give up all the things you love and and that wasn't necessarily the way everybody did it. That's why I did it. But I mean, your attitude's about a lot of things change as your age in general, whether you're married or not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this has been funny so far. I

don't think I tagged them as comedy. It's gonna be a chat. Can I fart on camera? Please give it a good fart? I have one bruin. Yeah, here, I'm gonna go pee you fart? I got pe two. That's gonna look weird. Well no, no, you you just sit here in firt now. Let me for the record state yeah that can you hear me? Um? Yeah, keep talking, Dan super weird about. And he's a homeowner now, which I will respect that he likes

his place to be nice, and it is nice. But just last night or the night before, I'm brought up the idea of maybe peeing in the yard instead of going all the way in the house. And I said, go for it. You all not at first? What did I say? You had the married chip in your brain kicked in at first, so said did I say, no, said it's night. No. You eventually said yes, but your your first instinct was to hesitate, and you know that's true. I thought about it for a second. I said, go for

it. Oh that was so kind of you have anything to do it, because you would never done that if you weren't married. But I was also fucking twenty nine. I've seen you pee off of my deck. How old was I like, thirty two? No, that's not true, No, twenty eights. It was your ten year reunion, right, Like I said, I've been married since I was thirty twenty eight. It's not sixteen. I don't know. I was still a very much a draging dumbass at twenty

eight. Absolutely, yeah, eventually you you kicked in and you were like, yeah, of course, like most guys would say, kiss right here if you want to. It's not getting married to change that. It's like if I was single and had a house, I would probably still think for a second about it, is it okay for him to be there? Would if you'd stayed single about a house, Yeah, you wouldn't I just say pee all over it? You would have just see it, just thisiss all

over my living room. You would have been way different. Okay. Look, I love this idea that any change that's happened with me has happened because I got married most of them, and most of are good. Oh I don't think I'm a much better verson I got married, but like you also think that, like, oh you you you would have been cool and just before you married, chipping in a married chipper. I hear that so much.

I've never once done this with my arm. Okay, but you did several times today, say the married chip in your brain made you do this? Did you note? Am I making that out? You've changed a lot, and yes, ninety five percent of it is for the better. Okay, but you again, like the toilet's seats, it's a you know, Oh, I'm so right about that. For those nut in the know. The short version is, apparently I picked up a habit since I got married. Whereafter I pee, I put the toilet seat down, both of them,

Okay, the top lid and the horseshoe lid. And uh, never realized I did that. It's never a thing Bianca and I ever talked about, ever did it before? Right? Right? No, I believe that I believe that I probably picked it up. I probably picked it up when I lived at Bianca in a place with one toilet, had a consideration for her, and had a consideration that, like, hey, she has to sit down on this, I'm gonna always make sure it's put down. And

I respect that that is where it came from. I respect that I do do clear on me about it. I do on your own turf. Wait what I do in your own house? Oh okay, okay, on your own turch when I'm at your place. Yes, and you when your nonfunctioning toilet when you come home without her, uh huh. And it's just me and you, and I really nicely asked you, like you have things you'd like to be done here, and you not throwing cigarettes in my yard. And I'm a bitch about it, but I abide by it because it is

your place. Yes, And you come home and I really nicely ask you, hey, leave the lit up, yeah and shut up okay, and you don't do it. You do it every time and I call you on it every time and your ant russ, I don't even think about it. Well, I want you to think about it. If I keep over here, okay, I'm getting fired up. Now here we go. It's a saga. If I came over here and just blatantly throw cigarette butts in your yard and you called me on it, which you should, okay, and

I just said, I don't even think about it. Would that would that? Would that work for you? I don't think it's the same thing. It's complete. It's the rules you ask for your guests to abide by, and they either do it or they don't. I think throwing cigarettes in the yard is more rageous than putting a toilet seat down. It's what said. I will say. You have asked me to leave the toilet seat up, and I have forgotten a thousand times, and I own up to that,

and I'm sorry. If that's the are you like your toilet, I apologize. But if I threw cigarettes in yard and you and I said, I don't even think about it. Would you have taken it as an answer, No, because I did. I just I think we might differ on this opinion. I think it's a very different situation. I don't. It's the wishes of the homeowner. When you're a guest in someone's home, it's very kind of them to let you in their home. The least you can do

is treat things the way they want them treated. And I have not intentionally, I know, put the toilet seat down. I don't think you're doing it to bug me. No, absolutely, I honestly don't. Yeah, but if you don't think about it, maybe think about it. I will try. It's genuinely something I never thought about outside of you. Bug never told me to put the toilet seat down. No one's ever talked about how I leave a toilet seat. I just it's not I've never thought in that

way, and it's hard. So if I if I have forgotten, many times, I have apologize. I can remember a time when it was I was fortunate. If you remember to get the urine in the toilet again. Mid twenties. Mid twenties, there stockbrokers that are in mid twenties with gage years. Jesus Christ, I've thought, I've actually thought about, when I know you're coming home and staying with me, to put a note on there, please leave the toilet up. Honestly, if it bothers you that much,

if you do that, it will work. That will work. So if we want to compromise there, it's not that hard to think. If you just want to have a backup. Okay, I have the perfect illustration of why I'm right. Okay, when I'm here, I never, ever, ever, ever, ever put both lids down after I pee. What do you mean when I when anywhere else? Well, that you should if I would request that you do, But anyway, go on, But it's no, no, no, I'm doing exactly what you want when I'm here.

Is point? What do you mean? Oh, for God's sake, No, no, I'm saying it would be nice if you put the toilet seat. Now when you missed the point, shut up and listen to me. Okay, I never pee and then shut the toilet lids ever. But when I'm here, have you noticed when I've been here that I've never left them up? You have? You definitely have no I had this one was up today. I didn't say anything because it's not a big deal. But

I've paid like sixty times since I've been here. Okay, so I may missed one and I apologize from that, okay, But like ninety nine percent of the time, apparently, sure, I am doing it the way you want it. I think about it, okay, because I know it's your house. Well, no, here's the thing. You have anything in your head that this is the way. It's not a way I've ever thought about. I've never told you what to do with my toilet lids while you're here,

because it's just not a big deal. But I think if I left them up, i'd hear about it. You left it up today, and you didn't hear about it until now when you claimed you never leave it up. I didn't say anything of you. I just like dad's here, it's gonna happen, But it is. It is a conscious thing with me, okay. And I slept once apparently, okay, But most of the time I am thinking about it, and I'm a guest in your home and I'm

doing it the way you want. Why can't Also, it's that's the thing it's the way you want it. It's like I've literally never said anything about like do it this way or don't do it this way? No, because I know how you want it. Because I know how you do it. You have thought about this a billion times more than me or Bianca ever had. Oh it makes me nuts when you're home. That's one of eighty.

The other one is findling your balls for hours on end and then finding and then grabbed shredded tree shredded cheese out of my cheese bag with your bare fucking Fondling applies to sexualness to it. Your hands are dad your pants, and when I'm just sitting out with your dumb ass, I even and then you go grab cheese with your bare hands. When does that add happened? Name the last time that's happened. Well, it hasn't, because I hide the

cheese. I'm gonna go make a drink. I'm gonna go grab another log. Do you want you want to wrap up the recording part and we'll out here. I want to keep recording. I got more stuff to be all right, do you want to? I got the can drinks here. If you want win, you need to ask your wife. Pee out here. Yeah, just pe hi everyone. I hope you're enjoying the show. Uh yeah, you're not in a child, I have joined the show. Uh huh, that's right. It's a good moon. A good moon up there,

dad. I got ice and whiskey out here. Yeah, what do you want? You like that? Mellow yellow sunshine bullshit? Mellow yellow sunshine bullshit? I have those canned cocktail things. What are you talking about? Oh, storry, storry, Okay, I'll go grab you one. Thank you. Are you gonna stir with your finger? Is that fine? You're a tongue all right here. You gotta come and take the seat so you can entertain the folks while I'm grabbing your mellow yellow bullshit. Time to offer

clarifications on everything that's been said about me. Feel free, free mind has been an old dentist Larry Song, I'm a boy. Just uh, what's a disclaimer? Is the word I'm looking for? I could be wrong about something like the opinions I've expressed on this broadcast. The opinions I've expressed have nothing to do with the owner of this toilet lids shutting property. Wasn't his fault? These always turned into these things don't they what. I's just complaining

about each other. It's kind of talk. It's just joking with each other and yelling at each other. It's all comes from a good place. It does, it does. This is the relationship. It's always like when Rickles was given Paul Schaeffer a hard time, Shaeffer said, but but it comes from love, and he goes, no, it doesn't. I'll be honest, I never liked you. How long are you be gone? I'm grabbing fixing the go hug the dogs or something. Yeah, I gotta go hug

the dogs. Jesus Christ, I'm grabbing more logs. By the way, Dan's dogs are idiots. We were watching the Kentucky Derby earlier and they were doing the pre race stuff where the horses were walking out, and one of his idiot dogs just went crazy and went rapped the TV and was barking at their horses like he thought they were in the house or something. They're not really smart, but I will admit they're extremely cute. I don't know if any of you have ever seen his dogs, but they are kind of adorable.

But they're paying the ass any who. I can't entertain you folks, at home by myself without Dan to playoff of anyway. In all seriousness, it's been a great four days with Dan. He was kind enough to have me up here on a milestone birthday. That thing just did think. Yeah, the screen went off and then started keeping goods out battery. No, you're good, Yeah, you're good. Who were you talking to earlier day about how I didn't wind up my phone? Oh it was a cameo.

Yeah, that didn't work because you have an old guy phone ironically, Yeah, speaking of that, we'll get a plug in here. Dan and I are both available for cameos. Mine are a lot cheaper and a lot less loud if you like it and yelled at and being paid. If you like paying somebody to get you to yell at you, cameo Dane. If you want to get really shitty of life advice from an old guy, cameo me, and I'm a lot cheaper. I don't know how much you charges,

but I think mine is fifteen bucks or ten or something like that. But I think it's absolutely ridiculous that I have any cameo requests at all, but I do appreciate the ones I get. I don't have that that much good advice to offer. I actually had one tonight where someone was celebrating their seventh wedding anniversary and they wanted advice from me on relationships. Seems bad idea. It'll conceit. You put way to me. Logs in here for how long

we're gonna be out of here? I didn't know we had a limit. I could do this for another two hours. Yeah. Can the folks at home know that we did another folks at home thing? Yeah? It was a twitch thing. They can't really watch it now it's not live. Here's your thing? Don't the archive those for sixty days? I enjoyed that hell

out of that. Well, that's the thing that drives me nuts. There are so many things I know you would love and that you can do easily, and I know you won't do like you could do anytime you went to any night and there's no It's like Uber. You know you can just Uber whenever you went to and I don't. Yeah, yeah, I could exactly. I could set you up with your laptops where you open up a thing, you hit go live, and you're just like, ask me questions.

I have no doubts it could happen. I just don't think that there would be enough people interested. I mean, you literally had over four hundred people watching you tonight because of you. Well, but they're also saying when when we brought this up, there were all those people saying like, no, no, Paul, we're here for you. We would watch you, we would follow you, like I guarantee you would, like Kayla didn't have an audience beforehand, and like you know, she has a great twitch audience.

She's very talented. Like you would you would do fine, you would do absolutely fine, I guarantee, and I would help. I would push you. Could we do a telelink thing where you're involved in some of them? Telelink? Is it telelink? Hook up the satellites? What happened the TV? That's a big question. I'm serious, get specifically, what are you asking? Comes so splintered? Yeah, it's bad, it's streaming happened. It's people got tired of spending one hundred and twenty dollars a month. But

is it better now? There was a time when it was good where it was like the Netflix and Hulu and maybe the early days like the Amazon stuff, and it was easy enough to where it was another option. Yeah, Like I haven't paid for cable since two thousand and nine twenty ten, right, And there was a time when that was just totally fine. You know, you can see everything you want to see, like I'd see SNL or whatever you know on Hulu the day after, you know, like it.

You can get all this stuff you want to get. Now, everything went so hard into that that everyone had to get their piece of the pie. And now you got your paramount pluses and you got your peacocks, and you've got all these different funding Roku and TB and fucking a million things that no one subscribes to, and there's so many things that they're trying to gobble up exclusive shows where it's like, oh, you can only watch this show on

Peacock, and so now you can't just watch everything. You got to pick and choose, like, okay, these things are important to me, so I have to subscribe to streaming service ABC and D. You know, it's just it's worse than I don't know if it's cable was way too fucking expensive, but at least you've got it all in one place, right, you know. I have two great examples, like a year ago when that Beatles documentary came out. I want to see so bad. It's on Disney Plus,

yeah, which I am not. I don't have Cloud on either yet. And I've got I've got Direct TV, I've got Hulu, I've got Netflix. You'd think you've got pretty much all of it through me. Yeah, except direct to the I don't see you paying that bill. No, But you know, something like the Beatles thing or the Reggie and documentary or come up and it's on splinter vision or whatever. I don't love splinter Vision. I'm like, I can't get enough. And I don't even know if

I have splinter Vision. I don't think you do, And so I don't get to see that ship. I know. No, It's that's the thing. I if you would have talked to me five ten years ago about the streaming future and all that stuff, it would have been like, yeah, this is the way the future. It's so much better than cable. Now,

it's just it's gotten fucked. So I saw on the news the Netflix is um which I can't believe they hadn't none right, but they're doing away with the mail order, Like, oh yeah, that's when I was a mail here. There's a lot of those. Yeah, that's crazy, that's very antiquated. Now I'll give you another example of Dan being an idiot. Wait a minute, I need whiskey and ice. Are you good for another hour? But i'd soapen a beer. Do you have a thing to get

this out with? Just poured in? Pour one indie or just grab the ice. I don't give a shit. Grab grab the ice? You know? Yes, you're I'm yeah, you're weirdo about that? I'm fine? Were you eating cheese earlier? I was mainly describing my balls. I skipped cheese. You should just grab the cheese with your balls. There's no opposable thumbs on my balls. It's a sentence I've never thought right to hear. Okay, why am I an eddiot? Well? You get three hours?

Only got so much better on these campus. How much film? Are you gott film? Can I tell about my first bachelor party? Sure? You know where I'm going? Oh yeah, That's something makes me sound really old. Is when I get married the first time in nineteen eighty three, which was forty years ago. Next month, hit a bachelor party with all my eighteen year old friends. Jesus, that sounds so stupid. Um my best, my best man. We got a porno film. It was unreal to

real tape. They had to rent a machine and a real to real thing. That sounds ancient. It does. Well. You met Bob Hope. I've had a conversation with Bob that's crazy. That does make me feel very old. And Carl Reiner, it doesn't even sound possible. You were there. I know, you know, I know. So where was it we're talking about me? I'm an idiot about something. Oh I lost it? Damn it. Well, it shouldn't take long to think of something. Um speak of me, be an idiot. Here's the thing that I realized and

thought about. And I don't have a good answer for why is it that you? Because you brought up several times on this trip that your biggest fear in life is looking stupid. Right. You've talked about like we uh, we had to ask people to move because they were sitting in our seats at

Fenway and you had a fucking like forty minute meltdown. Uh. You've talked about your greatest fear in life is like your car breaking down at a at a red light and you're you're holding up traffic, Like your greatest fear is looking stupid. I honestly, yeah, it's it's it triggers something in me, a reaction that I don't get any other way in life. I it's it's I freak the hell out well, and that's not is there a through

line? Is there a connection at all? In you are terrified of it and avoid it at all costs, And I kind of run towards it. I kind of like invite, like I it's it's not all fake or anything like that, but I run into it, you know, not always what's not always Jose Peppers oh the dance? Yeah? Oh yeah, yeah, no, no, I'm an don't get me wrong, but like I definitely push further into it. And I like anytime I have a stupid thought, I like make a point like here here, this happens all the time with

like me and bog where h oh. Like for instance, for instance, today we're watching the Kentucky Derby. Oh I remember it was, but go ahead? Yeah yeah. So so today we were watching the Kentucky Derby and they were talking about something about this horse coming from Dubai, and I had the thought in my head. I thought, oh, is the Kentucky Derby this year in Dubai and I thought, no, dipshit, it's in Kentucky.

But then I still was like, Okay, well I gotta tell you this, and like, you know, because I think it's funny, So like, why is it that? Like I could easily avoid certain things, but I'm like, you need to know how dumb this is? This thought? You know? Why do I invite it? And you I wasn't. I wouldn't have hesitated that situation to point it out to somebody I care about. It's strangers. Well, but like I'm my full fucking job is being a dip shit on the internet, Like why do I? But I genuinely

don't know why. In part of you knows that they're actively looking you up for that reason because they want to hear me say dumb shit about egg whites or whatever. Yeah, and they half of the people will love you for it, and they have the people hate you for it. Yeah, it's amazing how many people like you're egg whites. Dan, you're very polar Oh don't don't. Yeah, I want to. I remember why Dan's an idiot. I just looked at him. Um no, the guy thought of the

fire pit. Last time I was here, we had this raging fire pit full of fire, and I had a cigarette butt and I wanted to throw it in the fire, and he had to think about it whether he was okay with that. There's a lot to ascribe to me. Maybe pausing for a second sometime, it's like, no, you didn't want to let me

throw the cigarette butt in the fire. You know that's true. That may I think that was the same trip as the initial cigarette fiasco in the lawn, right, And that was I think I was considering like retaliatory, like nah, fuck you, look, you're not You gotta figure out some annoying place to put your cigarettes. You don't get an easy out because you wanted to fill my yard with them. But honestly, if you're trying to get rid of a cigarette, but there's no better place for a cigarette, but

there's no downside to throw. When you want to kill a terminator, the best place to its jump. You've tried everything else. That's weird of a jump as the original cigarette fiasco. When you said, do you think when those men were going into Omaha Beach on the landing ships, when they smoked their last cigarette heading into certain death, do you think they thought twice about throwing their cigarette into the ocean. Yeah, you're comparing my Connecticut yard to

fucking d Day you made. Yeah it was amplified, of course, but it's slightly Yeah, it was the same basis. Yeah, it's exactly the same. Yes, it's crazy, but it's like a terminator. You've shot him, You've blown him up. It's not like a terminator. Hit him with missiles. Nothing's working. You throw him in a goddamn melt lava steel thing. It's all over. He gives you a thumbs up, and it's

all over. Well, he threw himself into that. It had been funny if my cigarette but had a little tiny thumbs up as I threw it in there. Oh but you did hesitate and you had to think about it. I know, but I don't. At no point did I actually think that there'd be a downside until like you throwing a cigarette in there. Pause, because I was pissed at you about the yard thing, and I was like, no, it's too easy. You need to need to I need to

annoy you more. But but if the objective of your decision is to make sure that it doesn't clutter your house up or make it look trashy. Isn't a fire the best place for it? Yes? Again, I'm not arguing that the fire is a good place for the cigarette. It's fine. It's a place for your face too. That beard would make you go up quick too. This video is gonna have a weird ending. What you being your son's head into a fire? No, because you're my ride to New York.

Oh right, right, that's right, my free ride to New York. Yes. God, we did discover in Boston the Uber drivers are not very talkative. But I kept bringing up that I think all of our Uber drivers were not English was not their first language. Maybe, but you can express friendliness withoutline. None of them seemed unfriendly. It just it wasn't the conversation. They were just doing a job. I guess. Yes, Yes, that's one thing you learn when you're a driver. You can pretty much

assess within eight seconds if people want you to talk. Oh man. I've had some living where I live like it takes forever to get to the airport, and I've gotten into a few where it's like it's just I'm tired or I'm nervous about a flight or something, and it's like this, Yeah, but not just talkative, but like talks about you know, just fucking weird things or opinions or politics and stuff that I just I or in the morning

when I better go on a flight. The last thing I want to do is somebody talking to me about some fucking conspiracy thing or yeah, you've got to you've got to read the room. I mean, when I'm driving, if I let them start and if they engage in conversation, I can run. I can talk the whole trip if you want to. If you immediately, the key is for me is if you immediately, if your face is in your phone, oh then yeah. And I know. I mean I've

had so many trips where you never say a word. If I am in like full on, like I cannot be talking today, like I will just kind of like put headphones in or something. Yeah, like tilt my head back and close my eyes, you know, like I yeah. Yeah. And if you know, if you if you understand people all, you can read those signs. Yeah, but some people are clueless to signs. I always use you as my That's when I feel like an asshole. For like,

if I land at Newark, I gotta come all the way. I hear Connecticut it's like an hour and a half drive, and like it's always the time when I get in the car and that's when they see like how far they gotta go and they're like, oh, Connecticut huh. And I'm like, yeah, I'm sorry, I know it's a pain. And my dad's driver in Kansas, Oh, I know it's a pain. So I always use that. It's like, sorry, they have another choice, but they should know that before they commit to accepting it. Well, it's weird.

It's like I'll book these things, but it's just you know what happens. I can tell you what happens. They see the dollar amount exactly and then like I sometimes I will like schedule a thing and they will call me and they'll be like, hey, are you going into the city or where are you going? Or like what say are you going to And it's like, sorry, I don't do that. I've got an end to cars. And they've been like sorry, I'm going to the city. I don't do

that and kick me out of the car. You know. It's yeah, Well, the thing is when you get an offer when you're driving, it shows you the time it's going to take. But it's a human being you're really focused on the dollar amount because every one you're deciding if it's worth your while. So if you see like a thirty dollars to you know trip, yeah, your instinct is, oh, hell yeah, I'll take that. But you don't look at the time. And the thing is the offer is

only good for a few seconds. It beeps away, well not right away. It gives you, like i'd say, four or five seconds where you've got it. Either it's pretty right away. You've got to either decline it or accept it. So I pretty quickly learned. I call it time and money. What's what's the time I'm involved in? What's the money? Yeah? M But I need to get back into that because I really do enjoy

it. I feel like there's been like four times that you've kind of quit for like a dumb reason, or it's like someone something about like after COVID or something like something about your cigarette ashes or something. What was you had some reasons? Well, when I started, I had been smoking in the car for like eight years yea, And I when I committed to trying it, seeing what it was like, I went and paid like seventy bucks to in my car professionally cleaned, which for me, but I did it.

And but I broke down here once a while and would smoke in the car, you know, my personal time. Sure, and then you got to spray it down and get all the smell out of there, because that's not a good thing. Nobody wants that. I get that. Um, I forget where I was going. But but I haven't smoked in the car and probably ten months, but I hardly ever, so in a way it was good because if you don't smoke in the crest, smoking in the car, there's a lot of it, a lot of what smoking. If you can

stop doing that, that cuts a lot back. You have had a lot of strong opinions about smoking these days. I do, and they're getting stronger. The society is getting ridiculous. Fenway was a great example. Hated that that's stupid. First of all, at a ball game, you're outside in the first place, and I get maybe maybe like if you're smoking and there's a family and there's a three or four year old right next to you, I get it. You don't want to smoke next to a kid. I

get that. But if you're in a like at Kaufman in Kansas City, where there's going to be like a third fold and you're in the upper deck and there's no one with that hundred feet of you. It's ridiculous that you have smoked. And if you want to, and you want to do it legally, you gotta this holding pen way outside the stadium. Kaufman. It's bad, but it's within the parameters of the ballpark. Sure, Fenway. You literally couldn't smoke anywhere on the grounds. And if you want to smoke,

you had to leave the grounds and you can't get back in. That's taken it way too far. I agree that restaurants, the beer, the bourbon's kicking in. Oh you're pointing, Oh, here we go. I agree. I agree about the whole. When restaurants started, I get the airplanes, and I get that restaurant's airplanes. I get it. Yeah, any open air bars, I thought, well, you have to be a private club. No, But what do you think do you think bars should be? Should vand selfishly I think you should be able to, But I

get it that a lot of people wouldn't. But if you make the decision to allow smoking, which I think you should have that option as a bar owner, you're you're limiting your customer base. But if you want to do that, I think you should be able to. And you know what, I think it'd be great for business. I mean if if the bar was

like advertised like hey, we're the smoker friendly Barye. But you got to really think that, like that's our demographic, that's our crowd, Like well, you know, because if you're going all in on that, you know, well, that's why I like private clubs like the Eagles Lodges, And I think maybe I've been at VF i'd be in a long time, but I know Eagles Lodges you can smoke in, and the demographic is like dead

and between seventy and dead. Put it this way. So the Red Balloon where I was, I wouldn't exist without that bar seventy seventh Street in Kansas, seventy fifth Street. When I was first of drinking age, it was notorious as like well, if you go to the Red Balloon, you better be used to all your clothes reeking of cigarette. And when I first really because it was like when I first started going there, it's probably like oh

six oh seven, you know, and that's kind of round. When things started changing and it's like, man, if I'm going to the balloon, my ship's gonna reek for a few days and then they change it. Do you think nowadays if the Red Balloon, a very dingy dive bar karaoke joint in Kansas said hey, we're cool with cigarettes, and it was night after night filled with smoke, do you think their bottom line, even if they're making more money or less money. I think they'd lose a third and gain

a third. Do you think pretty even? Yeah? Interesting? I do. Yeah, But it's the way And I was talking to you earlier. The thing that's cracking me up now is when you turn on a TV show and it used to be nudity, suggestive situations, violence, adult topics, whatever, and now they're including smoking. Yeah, come on, I mean that's been a thing for like video games have had that on a long time. It's like, oh, you know, alcohol, you smoking tobacco.

You know, come on, shield your eyes, kids, someone's smoking. Well, I mean the more obvious thing that everyone's said forever is like, it's crazy that like just grew some fucking violence in prime time is fine, but a fucking boob is well yeah that that started no war? Really, Yeah, because you know, that was when porn was trying to become more mainstream. But you know, they were broadcasting images from Vietnam of kids getting killed in Vietnam, and that was okay on the news. Well, there's

always the argument of like what's newsworthy and what's pornographic? And I'm talking about like nowadays, like you know, like primetime TV for decades now, it's been CSIS and stuff and grewsome murders and stuff like that of fictionalized stuff. You know, right, that's been fine, like with no newsworthy element. You know, if I had to say that, the biggest change I've seen, at least in this country with society, and I'm not offended by it

because I'm old and my kids are grown and I don't care. But I'm just aware of how much it's changed is how often you hear swearing in public. I just don't think that matters. And it doesnt matter obviously because you hear it more. But I hear the f bond pretty regular in public. I really don't think about, like I have that thing. It's like I'm so rarely around kids. They're like, but now a lot of my friends have kids, and so if you know almost my friends are elsewhere, but

if why you do that. That's the thing, like I'll be like home for Thanksgiving or something and there's like young kids there and stuff. Yeah, fucking you know, but that's the thing. I'll like, yeah, I'll stop a curse with a curse. But I just don't think it matters, you know. And like every parent I've been around where I've done that,

they're be like it's fine. They hear a way worse at home. You know, kind of matters if you're a parent and you've got a ten year old, you know what I'm saying that, I mean, if it's fucking shit, I mean, yeah, you don't want I'm saying fucking slurs or whatever like words it actually like matter but like fucking shit and stuff like yeah you do you don't want your kids saying I get, I know I can't really relate to like kids stuff, but because you know, there's several families

in my neighborhood with small kids, and I hear all the time from like ten to eleven year olds. Man, when I was that age, and I'm not saying we were better or whatever, it's just different. I mean, I I felt uncomfortable saying that word. Until I was like thirty. I never cursed around you or mom for the longest time. Imber. I had a friend back when we lived in an Exa and he would just I think you know who I'm talking about. Uh, he would just fuck use

my fucking house. But and like in front of his dad, like at the dinner table, and I was just like, oh my god. Remember his brother had posters all over all the walls of like just you know, centerfolds and you know, just straight up like ah, here's my breast of vagina. And it's like, oh my god, I can't believe, like he's allowed to have this and they can curse and like that. That was shocking back then. Well, that was an unusual family. Yes, yes,

I know exactly what you mean. Oh yes, yeah, I think you had to fire one of them. I did. I had to fire one of them for stealing. Yeah, I'm the one who saw it. M Yeah. That was not your typical family. No, no, but I mean it was you know, back in the day, it was weird to see people curse around their their parents. I never really Yeah, I never cursed around you. I never cursed around you. That's true. It's you were always the one too that like you would see Ember you suphole fiction

and hated it. He told me that, like, yeah, you're not seeing that movie until you're thirty five. You know. It's interesting. It's like if to anyone who knows us or follows us now and sees the relationship and we're just talking about it's going on, it's the fucking space station calling you. That's not me. What's in your pocket? Lit up? It did? I thought the answer, right, I don't know my cigarettes lit up? Well, I mean that's the point, right, ah Um,

I think anyone who sees us, now, what are you doing? I'm looking for my phone? Now, you got me wondering. That's right there. By the way, my Space watch tells me where my phone is? My Space It's it's really handy, right, Oh, it's great. I do that all the time. It's like, oh, where's where's my name? There? It is? Yeah, I've only had to do it once or twice, but it's pretty great. It's extremely handy. I do it like six times a day. I'm a kid. I'm alost always had my

phone on me. Well, it's like I always feel here's the thing. I want to get your thoughts on this. We're talking about Backla earlier. Um, yeah, it's it's just a kind of a bit. I'm not it's not actually like a point of argument or anything. But like, so he's got a seven year old kid, and it came up on a podcast not too long ago. We're talking about movies and like what his kid watches and what he's afraid of and can't watch or whatever, and Jaws came up,

and Backlar was like, are you fucking nuts? I'm not gonna let my kids see Jaws. And I was probably six or seven when I saw Jass. I mean I was seven when I said Terminator, Like, I'm very much in the like, yeah, if I agree, though, you agree with Backlar really because you always work like mom, let me just unfettered access to everything. You were always the one that was more like you can't watch this or whatever, So like, what is the is it more I

would just get scared. No, that's either sexual stuff or violence. Yeah, yeah, like Jaws is just too scary. Well, there was there's boobs at the beginning, there was nude scene at the beginning, and just the violence. I mean you don't want a kid being terrified of going in the water. But I mean, isn't that part of being a kid.

It's just like, oh, I think scar getting eaten by a shark, getting eaten by a shark, But like, like that part of the fun of being a kid is like, oh my god, I saw this thing and scared the shit out of me, and like those memories of like that's why they make roller coasters. I love those two. But I mean, sure, if a kid is legitimately like terrified of scary movies or death or anything like that, then like, yeah, I stay away from that stuff.

But like I remember as a kid, I just like would see Jaws and obsess about it or Terminator, and like, I just don't see anything inherently wrong with that if you're into it, you know, like I knew it was fake all the time. But I mean to a different kid, it might create a whole new set of issues. I'm not saying every parent, hey, sit your kid down and show them Jaws. I'm saying, like it shouldn't be across the board, just like no kids should see Jaws.

You know, that's why there's ratings. Sure, sure, I had a big thing with the book it or the movie. It was the book, wasn't it? Well, you found out in fifth grade that I was reading it, and you were adamant that. I know, Well, the only thing was because I had read it and I could think about it was that group sex scene where all the young kids had sex with each other's Jesus, I don't think I got that far. You never finished it, nobodies. You were like, you cannot read that. Yeah, like all these

fourteen year old kids basically had a gang bang. What the fuck? Yeah in the book, Yeah, Jesus, And I wasn't comfortable with you reading that. I mean, okay, that I get that sounds pretty severe. I'm not sure you're emotionally ready for it. Now that's specific circumstances. No, I don't want that at all. But no, that that sounds that's

kind of beyond the pail. But like I don't know, future robots coming back to kill people, or like, you know, a shark is scary and eight people like I don't know, Like I loved that ship, and so maybe I just feel like I cut off obviously. I mean, I just think seven's way too young for that stuff. I mean, there's enough real stuff in life to be scared about. But you don't want to put all those thoughts in a young kid's brain. Let them be happy with their

thoughts of Mickey Mouse and Donna Tello. They'll figure out how much life sucks later. I didn't think life stuck because I saw Jaws, And now they'll figure there's plenty of real stuff to be scared about, like sharks. Well it did alter American's behavior on the beaches. Oh yeah, a lot of people were scared to swim in the ocean. I don't think about it. I mean I think about Jaws a lot. Yeah, I mean, like the rare occasion when I'm in the ocean, I'm like, what the fuck

is down here? You know, I mean it's a Jurassic Park. I won't go into the woods, you know, go around trees. I went in there hoping to find Laura Dirt. She's hanging out in the woods. Yeah, she's back there, right back there, looking at turds. What she does? Hey, you like turds, Laura? Ever? Hey you like turns? Laura? Check me out. Oh there's your t shirt there

you go? Oh, I mean there's there's And I'm very anti censorship but you don't want everything out in the open for your four or five year old kid to see. Yeah, there's no religious basis for that. For me, it's just I honestly think if I had kids, which I have no intentions of h I think my biggest thing that I would fixate on is I don't want them to have a fucking iPad. I don't want them to fall into a fucking YouTube algorithm and just sit there like looking into I don't want

them to have a TikTok account. I don't want them to fucking like any of that ship where they're just the attention span is going to get nukes. And I say that as someone who grew up. You know, I got the Internet when I was twelve, not as a small child, but like I played video games my entire life. My attention span is not great.

But like I just feel like it is like nuclear levels of damaging. That's all I'm going to get worse exactly, And I think that is the thing if I had a kid, more than any violence, new to the or anything like that, I think I would be like, you're not seeing a fu you were not gonna have an iPhone, you were not gonna have a tablet for a long time, and we were going to talk about healthy usage of this stuff. We're gonna set the screen time type of stuff. Video

games. Sure, I'm fine with that. Obviously, it's different now with online games and stuff. But what you don't realize is it's tough to combat that when all their friends have. That's exactly because I have so many friends who are very cognizant of that stuff and are like, I don't want my kid to have this or that. But then when it's like they go to school and at recess, the other kids are like, Oh, check out this thing I saw on this and so why not I get this? Dad?

Like, there's just a million reasons I think I wouldn't be able to handle having kids, And like, I just I would not handle that well, I don't think. I mean, honestly, we've had this discussion many

times, but I just think you'd be miserable. Yeah, yeah, there's just no way You've done whatever you wanted whenever you wanted your entire adult life and to all of a sudden, because I still long think you realize how much having a kid I get, it puts a clamp on that I talked to my friends, but i'd like, I'd say the majority of my friends at this point have kids between the age of like baby and eight. Yeah,

you know. And it's like, so I've definitely talked to all my friends about it, and I'm aware, I know there's no way I can really know since I don't have them, but like, look, I know certain friends that like used to be very available and used to be you know, easy to get a hold up or hang out with, and now it's just like, oh, bully. I realized that as I in my early adulthood because you know, when I was eighteen nineteen, I could make one

phone call and have a poker game with eight guys in an hour. Yeah you know. Yeah, and when you're in your probably about well, once you start having kids and he getting married, you have to plan it like two months ahead of time. Really, yeah, I prosy get permission from those spouses, They got clear of those schedules. It's just it's not good or bad as this way it is. Yeah, yeah, And I don't like but granting me my friend who have had kids and our arn't is available.

But like I had a friend recently I asked a question I was like, Hey, do you want to do this thing the summer that we've we've usually done and he was like, he's about to have a kid, and he's like, well, you know, we're trying to We're thinking, you know, the kids do soon as this recording and he's like, oh yeah. I think I was talking to my spouse about like maybe in August we could each do a thing where we each have a week where we take the

kid and the other one gets to do whatever they want. It's like you have to plan a week where you can do what you want four months in advance. Yeah, Like that's fucking like I literally just you're right, Like I know, I'm I don't spoils the word, but like I am so

accustomed to like only doing what I want all the time. Yeah, you would not react, will It's it's in a way that I think that it's similar to like you in which like you have very much gotten used to like your routine and your way of living, and when you are something encroaches on that, it's just like what the fuck and you don't necessarily handle it well. I don't handle it well. I don't like lash out or go crazy or anything, but like I just it doesn't compute when I don't get to

do something I want to do right. You know, I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but like it's the kids do not seem like to work with that. I do feel like you made the right decision. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean I used to.

I used to think that it was definitely gonna happen because, like I don't know, I think you and I, for all they know, complicated it is or unusual or whatever our relationship is always so it meant so much to me, and I think about all the great times growing up and as adults and everything, and I always grew up just assuming like, oh man, it's gonna be so fun. It's gonna be so great to have that with

my kid, you know, like that. And then, don't get me wrong, I mean great things about being apparent, but in terms of lifestyle, it's it's up huge shift. Yeah yeah, yeah. I never really considered it could be different until I met Bunk and she was saying like, hey, head's up. If you want to have kids, I'm not your girl, And I was like, well, I know for a fact I love you, but I don't know how I feel about kids, So let me go with the sure thing and I will agree, like I have no

interest in kids. Let's get together here, um, And as time's gone on and our lives have become the way they have been, like, it's just not compatible. Yeah, but kids, And you said that to her. Then you went in the bathroom and shot the toilet lid. I said, this is the new way, and got a glass of wine all the way to the bathroom. Yes, this is the day. I want to give you credit on air on air air. Yeah, oh, you've really

improved your driving. I'll like that. Dan and I went out to eat tonight and he actually drove, and uh, I've been I've been with him at his worst driving. What was the worst Minnesota? Yeah, you're you were terrifying. I mean, I'm not even trying to be funny. Sure, being a pastor in a car you were driving was literally terrifying. Well in what way? Let the folks I know what you mean. But it's not like you make it sound like I'm just like fucking like cleaning. I'm

not that. Back when you were trying to be a normal adult, how you weren't an accent every day you're you were a really really bad driver, and what we describe the way I was a bad driver. Oh, there's so many things, very hrky jerky. I noticed your foot was always always it was always between the break and the accelerator. It's an anxiety thing. It's just like I just can't like I know you're supposed to just put the foot down and keep it there, but like with me, it's like,

oh, I just gonna be ready to breaking case any day. Well what am I going to fascinating? Am I going to it? Like? It's just it's a constant, like you can't settle down. Jerky jerky is the phrase I always think of. Um A lot of a lot of excessive breaking and a lot of unnecessary acceleration. You still do that. You're not in the way of like I've never been like a speed guy. No no, no, like instead of easy, like you're to stop light or stop sign

instead of easing into going forward, it's sudden. Yeah, that's the one thing I've seen from you. Still it's held back, but just an overall panicky, nervous I think the herky jerky stuff and the panic when you like highway stuff, merging I can feel it in you, or I used to be able to feel it in you, just this overwriting sense of oh oh yeah, yeah yeah, and my heart's beating through my chest. My vision is getting like tunnel vision. Yeah yeah, And I get that way.

Sometimes I'm totally fine if I know where I'm going. Yeah. But here's the thing. You don't have anxiety the way I do. Everyone has their own anxieties and stuff like that. I have just straight up anxiety disorders, like pretty severely. Like that's a very different thing. Like I think a lot of people who don't have anxiety describe the situations where they got anxious or

if I don't know where I'm going or whatever. But it's like that is very different than just like unexplained, irrational severe anxiety, which is what I've dealt with. You know. It's like it's not like, oh, I'm in a situation I should be anxious. I got anxious. Like no, I'm merging on the highway and everything's fine, and for some reason, my fucking body's freaking the fuck out. You know, I mean you say that, But the way I reacted to Fenway was not rational. Yeah, yeah,

it wasn't. No, No, yeah, but I also don't know if you have anxiety necessarily, I mean fear of I have a major, major thing about avoiding confrontation. Yeah, I will do anything to avoid a confrontation. And there was no good threat of confrontation in that thing. But the fact that I knew we were standing there and we were indecisive and people were trying to watch the game, that just boiled up in me. And it was a combination of that and looking stupid. We alluded to it.

For this is where it's like people were in our seat. I went in there to be like, hey, you're in our seat. The game had already started, the gaming de started, and he was just standing there like, and it like it's literally thirty or forty minutes afterwards, you were like, I feel like my blood pressure is through the roof. Oh my god,

I'm just now starting to come down. I'm just not like you were, like just because we were like for we were, it took them a while to like move over, and it just you were having like an internal crisis. Yeah, it was. Yeah, I was dying inside. And you notice I tried to just sit down on the wrong seats just oh, I know, and I was like I was. I was asking. I was like, hey, no, no, we're seven and eight. Go over to seven and eight, and you're just you know, yeah, I

don't like being like that. No, nobody likes when they feel like that. No, but anywhou fun sound the passage of time aging, it's ridiculous. Yeah, I feel like I can distinctly remember I just started a new job when I turned forty. I'd been there like a week or two, and there was yellow pages, Fiasca, where are you marriage kids? Wives? At my age, I was out of a horrible divorce. You're out of wife two divorce. I was in legal hell with her. Right kids

were little too, My two little ones were little. Yeah. Just I wasn't making jack ship for money. I was fighting constantly with the X that was. That was a horrible period of my life. Um but anyway, so when I turned forty, I just started this job and I remember the boss and now I remember exactly what she said. She said. She said, we have a birthday to day. It's Paul's birthday, she said. And I'm not gonna say old you are. It's a big one, and

you know, you know, typical workplace stuff. My point is that twenty years elapsing feels like three years really, and that you'll find that as you get older, ten years feels like one. It's just incredible. It's like New Orleans, you know, it doesn't seem that long ago. You and I went. We went to New Orleans on my fiftieth birthday, and it doesn't seem that long ago. No, there's ten years, like almost to the day. And I think now I am closer to seventy than I was

to the New Orleans trip. Yeah, and that's crazy to me and scary as hell. Yeah, Now, do you honest questions? So that is the case of everyone, and I have felt it. Sure, my dad warned me about it. Sure, and it's true. But do you think any of it is exacerbated by your lifestyle? Of it being people lived in the same place. You don't leave the house, you do the same things everybody, You don't think that's no one. I'll tell you why, because

almost everybody I know is my age or older. Sure, and everyone feels the same way anyway. I feel the same way too, even at like forty, and it gets a lot worse. Yeah, Well, I mean the analogy the toilet paper one like I think that there's a lot. I think it's right. If you want to tell it, well, I use

cartons of cigarettes, but go ahead. Well I remember you saying once that life is like a roll of toilet paper, where it's like as it gets further along or closer to the end, it just goes faster and faster. You know. It's like I have thought of that a lot. Yeah, it's true. Like if you're a smoker and you get a carton cigarettes, you're like, oh man, I'm good for ever, and the next thing

you know, it's like a funk, I gotta get cigarettes. But the thing is, and you know you and I know this firsthand from losing my nephew and your cousin last year at forty suddenly to cancer. It's like, and there's no promises. Yeah, time goes fast, and yeah, I'll be eighty two fast. There's no chance I'll be sick. There's no guarantee you'll be sixty one. There's no guarantee you'll be thirty nine. I've known

a lot of people in my lifetime. They've gotten car wrecks and just they were just going to work or whatever, and fuck, they never make it. There it's yeah, there's no guarantees. Yeah, I don't want to get like you know, and I and I say shit like that, and I think to myself that I should be experiencing more and living more, but

I don't do it now. You said that when Grandpa passed too, that like, oh, this is gonna be my impetus for like I'm gonna start going out and you know, yeah, I'm living my life will I can still get up and move around and stuff like that. That I mean, I saw a man who was who enjoyed life more than anybody ever knew, and who the last three years of his life due to dementia were just awful. And I saw him deteriorate before my very eyes, And yeah, I

thought that was awakening. I thought my APPENDECTI was a wake up call. Yeah, did I see appen ying me? He said, all right, appendect to me was a wake up call. I thought losing you know, my nephew was awakening. But I and I used this U story in my head and it's so stupid, but it's just the way I rationalized stuff. I'm like, I mean, I saw the grand Canny when I was a kid. But I often think I use this just as an example. I was like, you know, I, while I still can, while I'm

physically able, I should go see the Grand Canyon. And then the other side of my brain goes, well, then you'll see the Grand Canyon, and when you die, you'll just be a guy, a dead guy who's all the Grand Canyon? Did it really matter? That's just how my brain works. I can't relate to that. I know you live life very differently

than I do. Well, I relate to like the whole thing, like I think everyone knows, you know, life's and I guaranteed and all that it's but you know, you think about like, oh the car crash or this could happen like that always just feels like random. It's just you know, bolt of lightning out of nowhere could kill you, of course, but it not to get depressing. But yeah, you alluded to Matt passing recently,

and I've talked about it a little bit before. But he was forty and suddenly got some stomach pains pancreatic cancer, and he from the time he got diagnosed to the time he passed was like a month less than a month, than a month less than a month, and that was the most eye opening thing for me and something I've thought about constantly. Sense because he was close to your age, that's the thing. He was two years older than

me and we were really close growing up. And that was just the crazy things like you think there would always be like a warning or like oh, you know he was sick for a few years whatever, or you know, like I never really considered how immediate it could be where it's like nope, all of a sudden, oh, what's that stomach pain? And then like

you're gone. Yeah, it's uh. That was for that to be my first experience with that and someone I was so close with it was, and someone that close to my age and someone those frankly like way more health healthy than me. You know, he was active, he was you know he uh man, that was he reminds me of norm talking about and he was trying to be funny, but he made a good point. It is like, you know, you think there's something wrong, you go to the doctor

and you get the all clear. Doctor says, man, you're all good, and said you just keep coming back. I'll give you some news. It'll shatter your world at some point. Yeah, And that's true. Yeah, it's it's uh, it's it's uh. Well, I'll never forget when I figured this shit out. My you know this. But my daughter's grandmother on their mother's side just recently passed at ninety five, and I was doing the math. I gotta do it again. But yeah, she was fifty

five years old when my nephew Matt was born and she outlived it. That's fucking insane. What the hell that'd be? Like, I think of a five year old child right now, Yeah, and I would outlive them.

That's it. That's nuts. It's so unfair and so random. Yeah, And it's like, you know, I'm I know, I'm not a spring chicken at you know, thirty nine, but I have so many plans for my life and so many things I'm excited about, and all these things I can't wait for me and be I'm gonna do this when we're old, and we're gonna do these trips and we're gonna move here and retire here, or do this when we're retired, and like just the idea of like in my

head that's just like, oh, of course that's all gonna happen, Like that's all, you know. But then it's like, you know, things like the Matt situation everything just are a stark reminder that, like, you can make all the plans in the world, and look, life can stuff you can never ever see coming, could just totally other plans for you. Well, it reminds me of my favorite quote, and you know this, but there's a quote from a John Lennon song. It says, life is

what happens while you're busy making other plans. Sure, and you can map out your life, you know in your head the way you think it's going to go. But no matter who you are, life's gonna throw your curveballs. Yeah, and things are gonna happen you don't expect and you don't see coming, and you can't do anything about it. It's just it's just the way it is. Well, and I think the important thing is to just

be able to roll with the punches as much as you can. Like And sometimes those punches are like minor and conveniences sometimes like oh Wow, someone got pregnant. Now I gotta have a kid. And this one's like, oh someone's got an illness, someone's got you know, Oh, I got this job where I gotta move to another state where like that can take so many different forms on it's a wide spectrum of importance, and I think it's just

important to be able to roll with whatever punches you can. But of course there are some punches that are just gonna be like knock out blow and you can't really do anything about it. You know. It's like my sister and her husband. It wasn't in their mind that they would outlive one of their children. Yeah, you know. Yeah, it's lives of grab shoots. Sometimes it is. But oh, I see a dipper, a dipper, I'm gonna go pee uh and grab. I'll grab one more log. Huh,

I'm gonna grab another log. What do you think are we wind? Is this the wind up? I want to sing a song? O sing a song. I'll go grab a log. I don't know where you're going with this, but I want to sing it to you. Then just vamp for a little bit, and you do you know they put a log on the fire song? Do you want to sing it? When I get a log, I want to do it right now. Okay, let's hear it.

Put another log on the fire. Cook me up some bacon and some beans, go out to the truck and lift it up, and change the tire. Wash my socks and so my old blue jeans. You start taking notes this a lot of things. Wash my socks and so my old blue jeans. So putting another log on the fire. And then there's another line I can't remember, and the end is and come and tell me why you're leaving me. Okay, well I'm leaving to get a log. I always

like that song. Do you ever do you remember I'm a little drunk, weird, weird eighteen fourteen. We took a little trip, you know that song the folks? Okay, norm not that anyone's watching, but thanks for listening to our depressing the stories about life. Um, you will face some hardship in life, and you're gonna have a lot of on the way too. I got to ride the waves. There's a I lean on lyrics a lot. There's a song by Jerry Jeff Walker, which I know none of

you have heard of. It's called getting By, and I'm trying to take it the line, oh, just getting by on getting by is my stock and trade, living it day to day, picking up the pieces wherever they fall, just letting it roll, letting the high times carry the low, just living my life. Easy come, easy go. I was just sharing a song lyric. Yeah, and I think there's words of wisdom in there.

Yeah. Well I'm gonna piece, so tell me what. I don't pee in your yard because I've hurt the home value peeing in my yard. I've never had a problem with that. Jesus Christ, you're committing to like another two hours. It's one log that was two things broken in half. It was one that became two. What do you look for, Rigno, What does that mean you broke it in half? It was a log, by the way, earlier I saw it, Dan, do something supermanly.

What I'm not talking to you? Why is the bush talking? Where the bush? Why is the bush growing? It was a burning bush, not a peeing bush. Let the fire around peeing bush. That's a different Bible. Yeah, what was I talking about? I don't know? This is this is sliding in the nonsense. I know your fans hate nonsense. Yeah, they have no tolerance, no tolerance for nonsense. All right, Um, I love the music. Questions earlier on the other thing we did,

some of those were tough choices. Yeah, I would love it, if you would love it, if you started doing the Twitter stuffs. That'd be fun. I'll consider it. I doubt it, but I'd love to be surprised. I heard a dumb joke on Twitter tonight. What's that? What's that? I don't even know how to phrase it. Shut up? You're going be pee? Shut up? You should tell the folks. You should tell beardy man three thousand there. But how you made me ship my pants

in New Orleans? Oh? I've told that, sorry, numerous times on various things. You get a picture of it. I do have a picture. What are you doing there? Ah? I pete, I shipped my pants. Let me try to remember to put up I'm reminding myself to put up a picture of him shooting his pants on a bench right now. I shipped my pants in the parking lot of my high school two years ago. True story. Why are you standing up? I'm thinking about pan? Don't you know how I operate? By now? You can't stand up to think

about you have to think about stuff? And oh what was it called earlier? The preliminary Paul process for taking a shower? That took literally two hours of you hyping yourself up to take a shower. Cool? Cool, cool? Fuck yeah, you're extending it by making me a laugh. Let's say you shoot your pants, so it's starting. I sold something for like two bucks, a couple of gumballs. I can. I got a piece so bad it's affecting my walking. Just go the folks. The preliminary Paul process.

Um, it's a fun time. Do you ever want to do anything with old Paul Reichert If he has to do anything, he has to get out of a bed, if you have to put pants on, if you have to take a shower, especially, it's a numerous step process. And it's head where he was talking about, like Dan, this is a big step in the preliminary Paul process is I brought my underpants from the bedroom to the shower area, and now I gotta sit here, and now I'm gonna

go smoke. But he never just goes and smokes. He talks about smoking for upwards of a half hour. And he it's fun too because he just hovers over you. So he'll just like sometimes you'll be waking up and he'll be like going out in the morning and he will literally just sit. This happened in the hotel. You sat on your bed while I'm laying in bed trying to sleep, and just I'm gonna go smoke. I'm gonna go smoke a cigarette. Ye, when smoke a cigarette, Okay, just go No,

I'm gonna are you mad at me? It's like, no, just go smoke to a cigarette. Smoke the fucking cigarette. You're you're not a big proponent of the just like just rapping the bandit off and getting stuff done. Why I got talking thinking about it for a while. Do you think it helps you? If there was a hidden camera in my house, you'd

think I was insane? Think because I'm really lately doing a lot of talking to myself out out, and everything you heard outout, yeah, yeah, And everything you heard in your last three days with me is stuff that's going on in my head or I'm saying it. I mean the most mundane things like okay, I need to smoke pee and then what's another one? Well, I just thought of one, a very important one. I need to tell the folks about that. I think I'm the only person you've told about.

Please talk about your nightly routine before bed. It's about the stove in the door. Nope, the thing that gets graded. Yeah, that makes me sound insane go on. I used to do that with Curb too. No, let's start with what you told me here. It sounds really weird. Yeah, it's just a fun little thing I do. Let the folks

know. The folks, this has been an intimate conversation. Let's let's peer into this, right, Okay, Norm, by the way, you have to promise me at some point will do like a two hour this podcast. What is this? Fire cast? Is a firecast? It's a video we're putting on YouTube, just talking about Norm, like a tribute. Oh, I think we've done that a lot in bits and pieces. But too, Daddy, you're trying to diverte. You got to talk about the thing you

do every night. It makes me sound clinically insane, it does, But it's fine. Tell the folks, well, it's more of a visual thing. Well, I mean you can. We've got three cameras here, so but I have be laying down. Well, just do your best, and in my underwear, do your best. You're delaying this. I am a person who when they go to sleep has to have something on the TV. And it's a whole routine. I haven't even told you about stove door thing. Have I stove door. It's fairly move what's this? It's part of

my new routine. Okay, and if you saw it just watching me, you clearly think I was insane. Okay, great, I'm a little OCD just a little bit too um. So I'd like to watch a TV show as if not watch, but listen to a TV show as I fall asleep. And and generally I liked um stuff that I've seen before, so I

can just hear it and not have to watch it. And I've literally seen every Family Guy like five or six times, so it's usually Family Guy and the if you've ever watched it, the opening theme has a certain it's a song that I know very very well, and I do a little hip show the folks. Yeah, you have be laying down, okay, Uh, just rotate your hips to the music. And then at the end you punctuated when the song ends, and so you're doing you're doing like one of these

guys as a show girl type thing. Okay, all right, then that boom in the big finish, but the thrust yeah yeah yeah. And then at the end of it, I give myself a grade as to how how good I did at the little dance so like, is the last thing you think about before sleep every night? Is like, no, that was an eight? Yeah? I get actually give it a grade? Yeah yeah? Is it one to ten? Huh? Is it a one to ten or is it like a plus B? It's usual like a six because it's it's

hard. Have you ever hit a ten? No? I can't even imagine cheating those kind of standards. I mean, everyone's gonna have dreams. I do have another thing I've started. What's that? You'll love it? Have I heard this? No? Great? I'm not insane, folks, I'm really not beardy. Man. Uh when I got to bed, well, first of all, that that whole process is it to do? Because I U, I'll be downstairs my bed rooms upstairs, and I get so tired, and I'll be so tired and I can't imagine having the energy to do

the things I have to do to get to bed. And that's a little saying I have do the things you have to do to get your ass to bed? Is that dude? Like sing songy? It's in my head? Okay, but that's how I say, do the things you have to do to get your ass to bed. And at the time it seems like so much stuff, So what are the things? Smoke? Get the last year and out of the old anchor. It has to be a more efficient way to say that. I year a night, no so, and it's always

a cigarette and a pee. So you get that out of the way, and I go out and have a cigarette on the porch. Before I get the cigarette, I grab my car keys and I make sure the cars locked. You see the car flash, So that's step one, you smoke. I got the screen door. I have to physically say out loud the door thing is down, and then verify this is locked, and then it's shut. Turned click. With the wood door, you shut it, turn the bolt. And then with my door, you have to shut it and you

can hear it audibly click. And then I go in. Oh, and I have to physically verify that the bolt is through with my finger. And then I step in the kitchen and check the six stove things off off, off, off, freezer and fridge or both shut securely so I don't waste

any errorgy you will asleep. And then I go out and I turn on the hall light and I visually verify that the bolt is through, and then I walk across the living room and I shut off Before I shot off light, I look at the door and make sure the door is locked, and then I shot off light and I go to bed. Is all these steps the way you were cited of them? I think I know the answer to this, but like, is it like clockwork every day and we're like every

like do you ever miss one of these? And sometimes I will do all of that shit, go all the way across the room and not be sure that I visually and physically touched the bolt. Yeah, so you'll wow. I mean I like, like that's not so far, Like everything you're doing is for a reason. But like I think it's the like the almost clinical, just like stepped by something. Now I do this, Now I do this, Like it's the regimented thing about it. Yeah, and I'm not

a doctor. I don't know what that is, like OCD or whatever, but like, of course it is. It sounds like well, I mean I think a lot of people think of like OCD is just that like you know, stereotypical, like oh, I gotta wash my hands twenty times in tampadour and like, but you just have a routine that yeah, and I have to do it. I have to do it. Man. That's so. Have you been diagnosed with OCD? No? No, do you think

you have it? Uh? Yeah? Yeah? And I've had you know, almost every woman I've ever been with in one way, shape or formance told me that they thought I was OCD. Yeah, and I probably am. Yeah, I hesitate to like a doctor or whatever, like sound was like that certainly, Yeah, definitely I think I had a doctor diagnosed me

with those CD ones. But like I don't. I don't know if I have that, you know, like I because when I hear like you describe that, or I hear like the kind of like traditional OCV things or whatever, like, I don't feel like I have that. I think I can fixate on thoughts and obsess over things or like just one thing. It's just like why isn't this or I need I need to figure out what's going on with this or whatever. It like it's all I can think about, you

know, even if I try to try my brain from it. But I don't think I have the kind of like regimented like I have to do this and this and every single day I do this. I just kind of you're more free flowing. Yeah, I feel like every day I just kind of wing it. And you know what, tell does this? Can you relieve to this at all? Because I think this is how I approach everything. It's just like whatever is in front of my face at a given time,

that's what I'm doing. And I'm really bad about if anything over here happens like okay, if I'm doing this, oh yeah, I'm making this thing, I'm doing this thing, I'm whatever, and then the thing calls my attention over here, I get a text or a notification or someone calls my name or something, and it's like ah, and then I just whatever I was just doing is not even remotely in my brain. Ye, and I will forget I was doing that. I misplace stuff all the time, I

miss I lose my phone constantly. You know, I'm like that. But I have learned to combat that by so hardly focusing on one single thing. Yeah, that I have to accomplish it. Something is mundane, is like checking your light bill or whatever. Sure, if if that's what the thing I was doing, I have to make sure I do that and nothing else can interfere, because if it does, I just go off all Willie Millie

and I lose focus, yeah, and I can't get anything done. I try to combat it with stuff like you know, you can set else firsts like do not disturb modes on your phone and stuff like that, and so it's like I know myself enough to ward. It's like I need to just ship. I'm almost always undo not disturbed because phones are so bad about just like mainge any noise or any it lights up or something. It's like,

oh, well, I just they haven't helped. Yeah, and it's just so hard where it's like with what I do and being on the computer so much. It's just like between emails coming in or somebody dmsman discord or I get a text over here or this andever someone just ringing my doorbell or the dogs are freaking out about something. It's just like any number of things in

just day to day life. You're just constantly at risk. It's like, oh, now there's this, and then you forget this, you know, like b happen Now I forgot a That's why it's really difficult for me to watch TV or movies. Well, I have a strict like if I'm if I'm watching watching something like you know, like succession is the show we watch and religiously and pay attention to it. Phone is airplane mode. Everything is just like I am watching this show. But then there's certain stuff too where

it's like, Okay, this is a background thing we're putting on. Other stuff's going on. You're like wrestling. It can be on the background and checking phone or talking or whatever. But like, if I want to actually pay attention to something, I have to strictly be like fucking nothing is making noise. And another reason that kids would probably be antithetical to that. Oh yeah, yeah that sounds hard. But yeah, so you have that too, you can relate to that. I don't know what that's radio. I

don't know that sci. I don't know what an anxiety? What's that? I call it single focus. It's I'm very single focused. I've had I've had pretty much every therapist I've ever talked to thinks I have anxiety in one form or another. And I don't think that's true. But they're experts. Yeah, and yeah, and I don't know, because like talking to you, I feel like we have very different experiences with the things that, yeah, they manifest themselves differently. Yeah, yeah, I think if you have

anxiety which you might, you know. Certainly, I think it's a different form than I have, certainly, you know. But I've starting to worry I just might be fucking lazy, maybe slumping all in that. I know that explains the fucking finger at the door knob every night. I do think I'm a person that performs best when I absolutely have to do something. And so if you know you have to make a flight, you're gonna do that.

I'm thinking more in terms of like a job situation, like like if I am I know I have to be at work at eight o'clock, I'll be there. Yeah, I did it for a long time. I was the most dependable son of a bitch in the post office they had, and I'm not exaggerating, and in ten years, I think I called in a day and a half, working six days a week. But I need that structure. I do, and I just don't have it. And I need

it, but I don't want it. I just don't. That's the thing I love about eBay is once you set up you know, ship tunnel listings like I have. That's not a lot of money, but it's something coming in every day. You know, every morning I wake up and I've sold two or three things. It's not a ton of money, but it's something, you know. Yeah, well dad, I just got the first card full error on that one there out of film, out of film. The other film ran out. They still use film, it's rare. Pretty much

everything's digital, like the rare show we'll use film. Do you remember one our photos? Yeah? Yeah, now you're doing stuff. Yeah, that was such a big event in people's lives getting something like well, especially when you came back from vacation. Sure, yeah, you dropped that little roll off and that little thing that people put pot in and then you know, right yeah, and then you get it back and you're so excited to see

your pictures. Yeah. No, I definitely remember that. I remember going to a bunch of like wrestling events and stuff, and that was you'd see your stuff afterwards. So we're all or all major films done digitally now, not all, but pretty largely. That's kind of how it's done. Like I want to say, I think Succession does things on film, and that's a real rarity. Um didn't they do um super eight on that super eight oh the movie super super type of film? Um? Because they were trying

to catch that seventies feel to it or eighties. Yeah, I think that's eighties. Yeah, yeah, that it might have. I mean it happens from time to time. It's rare um, but yeah, some things will. Oh we didn't talk about Jennie Gershawn. Yeah, I had this.

I started this thought process years ago. But it was about Fair Faucet because Farair was about let's see, I'm sixty now she would have been Let's see, that was fourteen years ago, so Fair would be like seventy four now, right, sure, but Farare was like my it girl growing up. It was just you, Yeah, just me. I was the only one

that bought that poster. Yeah. A lot of times, well they would get all soggy anyway, goodness crazy, good lord, call the cops, which revised, we gotta tell us her about my mom and the poster. Do you know about this? Oh yes, it explains a lot about me because yeah, but anyway, so Fairs, My plan was, I I always was just so passionate about Fair as thought she was gorgeous and sweet again

just you. So my plan was to ride it out and tell her age her not her age, to tell her looks deteriorated enough as she gets hard to say, have you've been drinking? Cops should ask you to say deteriorated when they pulled you over, All right, son, say deteriorated, deteriated? All right? Come with me, Um, Tell her looks slipped enough to where she would consider dating a slept like me. Wait a minute, are yours in this scenario just staying frozen in time? You're not? And

that didn't count, no, because we're both gross. Okay, but she's still like, does the gap get less wide? There? Oh? But I would be gross too, but a little less gross than her, because why are you less gross than fair Foster? You're fucking this up just because she'd be like seventy five and I'd be like sixty three. Okay, just shut up. So anyway, her looks have faded dramatically, and so of mine. But she's at the point where sixty three year old spride dude like

me spry. No one's called you spry ever once, not when you were twenty, spry when I was eight. No. The theory is that she her looks are gone enough to where she would consider dating a guy like me, that's the thing. But she had the nerve to die on me. It was horribly sad. The same week is Michael Jackson, but she got the short shrift on that, by the way, because it was any other week she had been the big news story and Ed mcmontoo they all died the

same week. Oh yeah, we got to talk about French Ed McMahon too. So once Farah had passed, unfortunately, my focus shifted to we stopped doing stupid nerdy stuff. Nobody cares. Everybody's dying, nobody cares, nobody's watching what we're doing. So my focus shifted after Fara unfortunately passed to Gina Gershawn, who is about I think two or three years older than me. Sure, who's just ridiculously sexy. And I'm always it's doing a thing. You're fine. So I always had a thing for her, just me,

Yeah, just you. So it's the same plan now with her. I'm going to ride this out until we're both old and gross, and then she'll consider dating me. Is she gonna think you're the best option? At that age she'll be out of her mind and won't know. So you're gonna wait until someone becomes senile. Also, I don't think she's SEENI I think not yet. Doing great. Right now, I can't approve of this plan. I think this is a bad plan. I think it's there's some problems here.

Plan C is Susannah Hoffs who Bengals lady. She's older in me too. Wow, it seems likely then it could happened. No, no it can't. That's the plant. So Gina, if you're out there, I get it now, she's watching. I get it now. There's no interest. I'm not even interested in me. I understand why you're not. But about ten years we're on where me and you? Gina? Uh? Church, God, damn it. We have to end this. You need to just stop saying things, specifically Church, most other things. See you to

see a car, I mean there's a street there at the cops. Yeah, I saw it. Gain, Yeah there's a street. What were we saying about ghosts? Earlier? There was a twitch question about do you believe in ghosts? No, it was before that. I don't know. Just wrap this up. You think I'm having fun. We just were running out of film. What kind of what kind of cheap ass batteries did you buy for these things? Cheap ass? But we've been going, we've been going.

It takes me the card has been getting full. Let's see, we've been going for three hours and again we can still stay out here. How long U till this is on the TV? On the TV? Well, I'm gonna be out of town for four days and the biggest game of the last fucking six years is coming out on Friday. So yeah, when you get to play it. That's a long story. But released day along with everyone. I hate complaining about not playing stuff on pre release, but that's

Nintendo Jail's a long story. So and you don't care. So when you do, will you sit down for like hours and days? Breath of Wild? I had two or three weeks early and I was literally like every day, putting like sixteen eighteen hour days into it. Were you in the industry then five years ago? I don't know where you might have been with the w W oh no no no. I was a giant bomb. Yeah yeah, okay, yeah, yep, so it was. But also if I

wasn't, I mean, it wasn't just pure old work ethic. It was it was like I was fucking feeling like a kid again in a way I had and then forever and uh man, yeah you knew why you know A celebrity I used to think would like me if they had the chance to meet me. Who's that Sheryl Crow? Why? Why would she like? He had a lot in common? Let's hear it. She she fingers her doorknob every night and looks at the oven knobs, and she'd write a song about

that. Yeah, that's her big hit. All I want to do is touch the door knobs and look at make sure the fridge is shut, so I don't waste money like energy bills too wordy. I I don't know what she called it. It was p parenthetical. But yeah, we're both from she's from Missouri. Okay, so we're both from Missouri. Uh huh, both big fans of music. Both had sex with kid Rock. I don't know she did. She just made that. Just the song made it seem like she did did. Yeah, and it's also bad in Lance Armstrong.

Really yeah, she she picked some interesting ones, all right. Anyway, So I guess you would, Lance Armstrong, Eric Clapton, Kid Rock you Okay, I got two balls, no beer. It's a murderers row there, Jesus Christ Haul Reichert, Eric Clapton, Lance Armstrong, I think you're the least problematic. I don't know anyway, And we're about the seme Ah. She's actually like a year too older than me. I think it worked out. No, I don't think it would. Dad. I mean this

with all the love and respect in the world. I think she's got better options. I don't know. She's been through the the gamut of celebrity boys. Time for a retired mailman who has to take two hours to hype himself up for his shower, she has the value of a cupon. I don't think she thinks about cupons. No, I don't think Cheryl Crowe uses cupons. That's a good question, Cheryl. No, it's not. She's watching. Her and Gina are having a girl's night. They're watching this video together.

Paul dreaming. Ghost of Farah's here? No, not interested dead. I don't want him. Oh man. Yeah, I kept trying to tell everybody else in America sexy. She wasn't nobody pay attention to it. I know you were the only one side. I kept going, look at this poster. Did you see this fucking poster? Get that thing away from me? Oh talking about your mom and Sheryl Tigues. Yeah, No, the poster Oh was that the poster? Okay, yeah, I'm sure all these

folks here know who Sheryl Tigus was. Oh, I'm having a pain right here. That's good. I hope sixty seems great. I hope we get the video evidence of my death on a deck. Nice snort. No, when I was a teenager, I had a poster of Sheryl Tiggs, who was a big swimsuit model. She was on sports wholster it swimsuit issue, blah blah blah, big sex symbol. So I had this sexy poster of

her in a swimsuit. And one day, when I was in school, my mother made a swimsuit top, bikini top and a bikini bottom out of some kind of cloth and taped it over her photographed bikini to make her look less revealing. And I came home and that's what I saw in my bedroom. And what were the songs that your mother found uh too sexual for you to listen to? It? I remember three? Um, that's wait. First, let's talk about the ones she did not raise an eyebrow about,

which were acdc's given the dog a bone. Let's get it up, Let's get it up. Okay, So these no red flags but too sexual? Were that smell by Leonard Skinner, which, yeah, it was about it was about drug and alcohol abuse, Yes, but she didn't care to listen to lyrics. Obviously. There was a song by Rspeedwagon called keep Pushing, which was about you can't a spell on. I'm just what are you doing?

I'm checking the fucking the film levels that smell by Leonard skinnerd said, oh Ario Speedwagon keep Pushing, which was about perseverance and never giving up, not about boning boning, and uh, oh, don't do me like Tom Petty. Don't do me like that, which was like, don't treat me bad in a relationship, and she thought it was a sexual thing. Yeah, so it was fun growing up Kansas. I say that, but I had a great childhood. I did, you did? We We ranked your

decades. We did a tier list of your decades and they were a total reverse order. It was yeah, you were ten to twenty was number one, Zero to ten was number two, twenty thirty was number three, and then setting decline. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Oh lord, I'm tired. Here we go. Well it's three in the morning. No, no, it's just yeah, yeah, it's an appropect. Time to be tired. We're out of film. For God's sake, film we should wrap every time, trying to wrap for the last two everybody,

No, are we good to rap? I'm enjoying this. I am two. This is great. Your voice is getting high. Ah. That's one of my favorite memories of you. Was in San Francisco, mean abouts of your friends and one of it. I think it was me that realized that when you were full shit, you're lying about something or defensive. Your voice got highed and everybody realized it was true. And you went on to prove it throughout the night. But my voice getting high. And then we

spent we ended the evening on a rooftop eating donuts. Socrates dropped his donut. That's so out of context. Oh god, oh lordy, Well, folks at home, beardy man three thousand? What was the other one? I don't remember from the north thing. I'm tired and kind of drunk. I'm going back home tomorrow, folks. So Gina, if you're listening, baby, I'll be in can See tomorrow. Let's do lunch. We can

come over and smoke cigarettes and do the family Guy to dance. The first ten I'll be her first ten What a beautiful send off, say you buy to the folks. It could happen. It's not. It's not gonna happen soon. It's gonna take at least another ten years. Well, every room wishes you the best of life. I'll be seventy and she'll be like seventy two. She'll have burned through all her celebrities film money. She'll be kind of gross. Jesus, I'll be kind of gross. We'll be gross together.

You and me, Gina, just romantic to the end. Let's get gross together. Oh it might be bad at this. All right, Well you want to send him off with your new cool thing, Dad, Church, that one? Yeah, it's give one, just good, definitive one there and tell them to say it's about time to wraps up. All right, Dad, it's been a great night. It's been great having you here, but I think it's time to call it a night. Church. Let's bounce