Do grocery store pies taste better in their restaurant of origin? Not by much! Marie Callender's Restaurant & Bakery feels like a slice of Michael & Garrett's childhoods, a wood-paneled wonderland that feels like a dentist's office waiting room Garrett details the history of the franchise in this week's Resty Fact Round-Up, including a history of "Pie Spies" Marie Callender's proves to be a haven of "old" The winner of the Septemburger Bracket $500 Giveaway is announced! Michael falls as...
Oct 11, 2023•58 min•Season 1Ep. 39
The last quarterfinal match of Septemburger has arrived! Johnny Rockets is a genuine-hearted homage to the diners of the 1950s, which Michael would have been all about if this wasn't a "Sports Lounge" location Garrett details the history of the franchise in this week's Resty Fact Round-Up Septemburger match 4: Umami Burger vs. Johnny Rockets The You-Must Bowl has both Michael & Garrett crying, but insisting they're fine A CHAIR HEIST!! What's Going On with the restaurant's photographer snubb...
Sep 27, 2023•1 hr 15 min•Season 1Ep. 38
Septemburger's #1 seed, Umami Burger is up to bat! Michael has an axe to grind after the best burger in Los Angeles changed up their recipe a few years back Garrett outlines the rise and fall of Umami Burger in Resty Fact Round-Up, and why they have a shot at regaining respect once again Septemburger will pit Umami against Johnny Rockets next week What's Going On with Umami feeling like it's still going through the pandemic? The service staff definitely noticed they were being reviewed and chang...
Sep 20, 2023•1 hr 11 min•Season 1Ep. 37
Septemburger rolls along with the #5 seed, Red Robin! Michael & Garrett are not just joined by indie horror film producer John Angeli, but they're outright sponsored by his new movie Terror Firma Garrett outlines the surnameless "Sam" who founded Red Robin by annoying the heck out of anyone who would listen with his one Red Robin song More of a deep dive on the history of the franchise in Resty Fact Round-Up Septemburger match #3: Red Robin vs. Outback Steakhouse Forget the burgers, Red Robi...
Sep 13, 2023•1 hr 33 min•Season 1Ep. 36
It's the burger battle of the year as Septemburger is now upon us! The tournament kicks off as the 8 entrants are announced and seeded Maybe the most badass theme song ever Garrett details the history of the hamburger in Burger Fact Round-Up #3 seed Fuddruckers faces off against the #6 seed Applebees #2 seed Islands faces off against the #7 seed Bob's Big Boy First round scoring for #4 seed Outback Steakhouse ahead of its match-up next week against the #5 seed Red Robin JUB will help you general...
Sep 06, 2023•46 min
Michael & Garrett get back at Michael's niece-aged cousin Emma Danger for sending them to Hooters last time she was on the podcast! Twin Peaks is a breastaurant founded on the premise that Hooters had become "too tame," and lived up to that idea in its early years amidst scandals and indecent exposure charges Garrett fulfills his You-Must Bowl duties by donning Insane Clown Posse facepaint and consuming this meal while embodying the Juggalo lifestyle Even a little Judge Judy is more Judge Ju...
Aug 23, 2023•1 hr 17 min•Season 1Ep. 35
Michael & Garrett are now 80% garlic-by-volume! The You-Must Bowl forces Michael to sing his table's order to the entire restaurant Garrett details the garlicky history of The Stinking Rose in Resty Fact Round-Up Cheese correspondent Steven gives his thoughts on the Garlic Crab Alfredo Fondue A cursed piece of wall decoration has Garrett reeling The boys try Garlic Ice Cream?? JUB tries his hand (or fingers) at being a stenographer A Real Doll placed right outside the restroom Garrett has th...
Aug 09, 2023•1 hr 8 min•Season 1Ep. 34
Michael & Garrett tolerate a subpar lunch buffet with the super-jacked Zeus Benitez! Garrett journeys to and from the buffet on his hands and feet as the You-Must Bowl has him crab-walking his way around Shakey's Pizza Parlor Learn about the first pizza franchise in America, Shakey's, and its founder: Banjo Hall of Fame member Sherwood "Shakey" Johnson An adult film about Shakey's? We certainly wrote one! The boys evaluate Shakey's arcade JUB will sell you prizes to give away at your arcade ...
Jul 26, 2023•1 hr 14 min•Season 1Ep. 33
The boys experience actual Fine Dining for once! The You-Must Bowl forces Michael to wear a suit made entirely of Pokémon cards to Mastro's Ocean Club Garrett details the history of Mastro's in Resty Fact Round-Up (Yeehaw!) Learn about Japanese vs. American wagyu, and the different classifications of beef grading Hands-down the greatest service experienced so far on this podcast Romantic music puts Michael and Garrett in a mood JUB will recalibrate your ratings scale Alcohol served with...intere...
Jul 12, 2023•1 hr 25 min•Season 1Ep. 32
The boys are joined by the delightful VyVy Nguyen! The You-Must Bowl forces Michael to consume his entire meal at Sizzler using only spoons Garrett plays Michael and VyVy a Sizzler commercial from 1991 Dessert pictures are catfishing unsuspecting customers Sex eyes are the only acceptable eyes to have in a Sizzler An ASMR Sizzler birthday soundscape, performed by VyVy Garrett pulls out the Fine Dining Bylaws to address Michael cheating at his You-Must Bowl punishment JUB welched on a bet once to...
Jun 28, 2023•1 hr 34 min•Season 1Ep. 31
So much to do and only 12 hours to do it! Michael & Garrett hit up the LA County Fair for some crazy deep-fried food and a carny atmosphere They cover the history of the LA County Fairgrounds, which has an upsetting role as the site of a Japanese-American concentration camp during World War II and an Italian/German P.O.W. camp afterwards The boys get their palms read Garrett seeks out a Christian puppet show Seductive snakes bare it all at The Shed PIG RACING! <3 The saga of Milk Steve th...
Jun 21, 2023•1 hr 2 min
It's dinner and a show at Medieval Times! The boys bear two hours of L.A. traffic to drive to Medieval Times only to discover the Union cast of this location are on strike and protesting outside Strike Captain Erin Zapcic shares what the striking workers are aiming to accomplish Garrett does a deep dive on the history of the franchise Imposters fill the castle as Union scabs have been bused/flown in from other Medieval Times locations 2 full-length songs about Michael & Garrett’s night at Me...
Jun 14, 2023•1 hr 41 min•Season 1Ep. 30
The boys found a Boomer utopia in restaurant form! The You-Must Bowl deems Garrett must embody the essence of Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville Garrett does a deep dive on the history of the franchise Cheeseburgers in Paradise aren't very good Michael tries to enforce a "No nudity, no touching" policy on Garrett An excerpt from a steamy romance novel authored by Jimmy Buffett JUB plans to make all public spaces a spoiler-free environment Strawberry Shortcake that is somehow neither strawberry nor s...
May 31, 2023•1 hr 17 min•Season 1Ep. 29
They changed the bread and killed our childhood! The boys color on the table at this week's pick: Romano's Macaroni Grill Garrett wants to bottle up Michael's spaghetti grease to eat later The bathroom signs are confusing Phil Romano has some crazy ideas for an Asian cuisine restaurant A pushy waiter demands to know why a nearby table is celebrating Garrett must become next week's restaurant, literally Audrey reviews the Macaroni Grill kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings JUB will make...
May 17, 2023•1 hr 10 min•Season 1Ep. 28
It's Turbo Time! Steve Moulton (I Think You Should Leave, Young Rock, Sharknado) joins the boys in going to LAX, one of the busiest airports in the world, to dine at a pre-security Planet Hollywood Garrett orders the worst steak we've ever seen Planet Hollywood has no Hollywood decor?! The Floor Wing RETURNS!! And he's kidnapped (pineapplenapped?) Juicy Jr. Girthy paper straws are WAY TOO MUCH Steve & Garrett time out on The Headline Game A veritable Final Destination is What's Going On Over...
May 03, 2023•1 hr 28 min•Season 1Ep. 27
No service? No problem! The boys make a casual dining exception for Cinnabon Michael sues Garrett in Food Court (the honorable Judge Jessa Day presiding) to block him from ordering Cinnabon desserts outside of Cinnabon Nightmare Jimmy Buffett/dubstep hybrid music permeates the boys' ears as they scarf down their Cinnabon at an abandoned Margaritaville patio table A seemingly unconscious man on his truck bed has the boys wondering What's Going On Over There? JUB will help you manage your emotions...
Apr 19, 2023•1 hr 5 min•Season 1Ep. 26
Applebee's scores a 5.00 from one of the boys Michael tells about the time he chauffeured Ron Jeremy Alan Tudyk tags in as Steven's voice for this week's Cheese Review The presence of a Cinnabon-licensed dessert reignites an old debate Brisa reviews Applebee's kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings JUB wants to make the skimmest milk ever We're now on Patreon ! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical,...
Apr 05, 2023•1 hr 13 min•Season 1Ep. 25
The boys are joined by comedian Casey Adler at Red Lobster The origins of Darden start at Red Lobster Casey recites a monologue on Red Lobster's stage Ollie reviews the Red Lobster kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings Garrett roams around the restaurant eating at different tables thanks to the You-Must Bowl JUB solves the lack of beverages named after Asians We're now on Patreon ! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our...
Mar 22, 2023•1 hr 15 min•Season 1Ep. 24
It takes 2 hours for Michael & Garrett to finally get food in front of them A child pyromaniac in this week's "What's Going On Over There?" segment The least charismatic hibachi chef ever Michael & Garrett debate the merits of a restaurant having a minimum and maximum possible score before even walking in Wallace reviews Benihana's kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings JUB puts your customers to work We're now on Patreon ! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download ac...
Mar 15, 2023•1 hr 32 min•Season 1Ep. 23
Lucille's history provides some racial turmoil The You-Must Bowl forces Michael to wear a "Bride-to-Be" sash and tiara The boys enlist some Yelp from Strangers as the boys read their favorite 1 & 5-star Yelp reviews about the Lucille's they visited Garrett speculates that Lucille's is growing its future workforce in back Greta reviews Lucille's kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings JUB has a bone to pick with a hot security guard's pick-up methods We're now on Patreon ! Get a monthl...
Mar 08, 2023•1 hr 14 min•Season 1Ep. 22
Michael & Garrett get big casino hotel vibes from The Cheesecake Factory The Factory Apocalypse reanimates Cheesecake zombies Colin Mochrie from Whose Line Is It Anyway? voices cheese correspondent Steven's review of the Stuffed Cheddar Burger NEW SEGMENT: Yelp from Strangers, as the boys read their favorite 1, 2, 3, 4, & 5-star Yelp reviews about the Cheesecake Factory they visited Nikki recounts her pervasive Cheesemares™ that haunted her dreams during her tenure as a Cheesecake Factor...
Mar 01, 2023•1 hr 14 min•Season 1Ep. 21
Michael & Garrett look back at 20 (+1) restaurant visits and analyze if their scores look correct on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity JUB will help you fill your life with regrets Garrett comes clean about DMing with Gatti's Pizza A full rankings recap at the end We're now on Patreon ! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, the opportunity to get your face immortalized on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity, and mor...
Feb 22, 2023•46 min
Michael & Garrett go all the way to south San Francisco just to eat at Chevys Fresh Mex Y'all ready for shits? CheeseGate sets Michael and Garrett off as their server cheeselights them The boys passionately debate the merits of Performance Enhancing Dessert-toppers Pierce reviews the Chevys kids menu in this week's Munchkin Menu Musings JUB sells you the Art of Denial We're now on Patreon ! Get a monthly free episode, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from...
Feb 15, 2023•1 hr 7 min•Season 1Ep. 20
It's the HOOTER BOWL!! Grab some chips, sit back, and put on the game as the boys talk wings, waitresses, and what day the week starts on We're on video for this one! Go to our Patreon (link below) to watch this episode in all its true glory! The Hooter Bowl is jam-packed with commercials just like the Super Bowl, but potentially more ridiculous Bonnie Gordon battles noise complaints from Michael's neighbors as she performs "Four Letters (ADHD)" off her upcoming album Con Artist for the Hooter B...
Feb 08, 2023•1 hr 34 min•Season 1Ep. 19
The boys bring Michael's second cousin (once removed) Emma to Chuck E. Cheese and she makes them feel elderly Chris Hansen from "To Catch a Predator" and the "Predators I've Caught" podcast reviews Chuck E. Cheese's cheesy bread on behalf of Cheese Correspondent Steven Zurita A passion for celery makes way for a Training Day- style Denzel monologue Brand new song "The Patreon Shuffle" is born Emma wins the Headline Game! What does that mean for next week's pick? JUB has a new best-selling item i...
Feb 01, 2023•1 hr 31 min•Season 1Ep. 18
The boys feel sluggish and greasy as their Cheddar's meal obliterated their bodies Tommy Chong from "Cheech & Chong" reviews Cheddar's cheese fries on behalf of Cheese Correspondent Steven Zurita Garrett's You-Must Bowl punishment - where he can only speak to the wait staff in rhyme - tanks our service Michael's dad also tanks our service experience Bathe yourself in the new perfume scent Mediocrité JUB has a ploy to get all the free wood you could ever want from a Home Depot Additional voic...
Jan 25, 2023•1 hr 3 min•Season 1Ep. 17
The boys get f***ing AMPED about their first cafeteria Pumbaa from "The Lion King" reviews Luby's mac & cheese on behalf of Cheese Correspondent Steven Zurita Michael & Garrett get to the bottom of why Luby's gave up on offering kids menus Michael wears a cone of shame Luby's nursing home feel scores a sponsorship from Old Old Ooooold SO OLD Navy JUB rallies against Goldblumers Additional voices: Ernie Sabella & Jessa Day Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpod...
Jan 18, 2023•1 hr 4 min•Season 1Ep. 16
It's A Tale of Two Gatti's with the depressing dichotomy between buffet and arcade Michael & Garrett's air hockey game spills out to the entire arcade Garrett gets a huge wad of gum on his shoe Gray chocolate pudding and translucent fruits are a bad sign that this buffet will suck Michael tries desperately to win a blu-ray copy of Croods 2: A New Age and some full-size candy bars JUB will help you overcome the obstacles in your life Additional voices: Sandy Rose and Nick Adams Get our 5 Surv...
Jan 11, 2023•1 hr 17 min•Season 1Ep. 15
Michael's dad sets the bar too high for Mexican food Elvis lives at Chuy's 10 year-old Wil calls out Chuy's "kids menu" with the mouth of a sailor Fine Dining Cheese Correspondent Steven is not in Texas, so Michael's mom steps in The You-Must Bowl forces 3 mid-meal wardrobe changes 15-year Chuy's vet Kassie recalls The Miracle of the Tortilla JUBcaps and JUBHub comin' atcha! Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Chuy's stories at finediningpodcast@g...
Jan 04, 2023•53 min•Season 1Ep. 14
The fanciest restaurant yet surprises Michael & Garrett Three diary entries from His Majesty, the Alaskan King Crab A busser tries to steal a swimming pool JUB will teach you manners! 11 year-old Willa is too cool for the Pappadeaux kids menu Our waiter spills scalding hot butter on Garrett's hand Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com! Send us your Pappadeaux stories at finediningpodcast@gmail.com. Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Let us k...
Dec 28, 2022•1 hr 3 min•Season 1Ep. 13
