Dr. Brad Reedy defines Attunement and Codependency and describes the differences between them. While it might feel like a fine line divides them, once you understand the effects of each on the family, that fine line widens to a large gap. Attunement is quite simply seeing and responding to the child’s needs. Codependency is projecting onto the Other your needs and meeting your needs through the Other. He also discusses the effect of healthy attachments and attunement on the family system and how...
Mar 02, 2022•1 hr 2 min
Dr. Brad Reedy addresses a few questions that essentially ask: What do I do when my [child, parent, significant other] is feeling [a certain emotion]? He responds: When we give people the “right” to feel their feelings it helps them—and ultimately us—process and then let go of the harder or negative feelings. Then we can all start making decisions from the right place--not from control or fear or guilt or outcomes. Our decision making is then driven by something higher. He also talks about how E...
Feb 23, 2022•1 hr 1 min
Dr. Reedy revisits his favorite book on boundaries, “The Dance of Anger,” by Harriet Lerner. He talks about how guilt and fear must be faced for us to set boundaries and become who we are. He explains that anger is a signal that we need to take better care of ourselves. He also explains how we do everything (blame, argue, guilt others, complain, rage, debate, reason, etc.) except set a boundary to get others to change to avoid doing the harder work.
Feb 17, 2022•1 hr 5 min
Dr. Brad Reedy took your live and pre-submitted questions. Tonight he answered questions about treatment-resistant teens, how to give yourself a time out when you're in lockdown, and what effect having high expectations on your kids actually has, among others.
Feb 03, 2022•1 hr 3 min
Dr. Brad Reedy defines trauma responses, discusses how to recognize them (i.e., If it’s hysterical, it’s historical), and then talks about ways to begin the process of moving past these automatic reactions into more intentional behaviors and response flexibility. “As parents, it is important for us to understand our trauma responses when we are trying to be a safe person for our kids. Trauma is inescapable, healing is elective,” says Dr. Reedy.
Feb 02, 2022•1 hr 5 min
Parents ask questions about how wilderness works for kids with ASD, whether regular at-home drug testing is a good strategy, and how much to disclose to your children about your own growth work and learning. Dr. Brad Reedy also shares important thoughts on empathy and boundaries: "Don’t let your empathy rob you of your boundaries. We parents can sometimes do that and it allows us to compromise and sacrifice things that we need for ourselves."
Jan 27, 2022•1 hr
Dr. Brad Reedy talks about many iterations of the family system and shares thoughts on how to approach each. Key messages: “When you talk about the other parent, you are talking about part of your child.” Choose “good enough.” Give up the need to be right. Learn to separate your need from your child’s need. Focus on what you can control. Your co-parenting relationship is modeling to your kid how to manage conflict in their lives. He also addresses parental alienation.
Jan 26, 2022•1 hr 3 min
Dr. Reedy welcomes Mackenzie Phillips to the broadcast. Mackenzie, the daughter of musical royalty, climbed aboard the acting-train when it pulled into town. She created a successful acting career and is best known for her roles on “American Graffiti,” “One Day at a Time,” and “Orange is the New Black.” And in 2008, after a public arrest at LAX, she made her way towards recovery from addiction and mental health issues. Today, Mack works with individuals and families looking to free themselves fr...
Jan 21, 2022•52 min
A parent wonders how to accept and contain her daughter’s “big” personality and moods when she feels so depleted and overwhelmed herself. Dr. Reedy says: The child does not need you to be perfect—they just need you to own your imperfection as yours. By demonstrating healthy self-care. By learning to apologize. And then by being ok with them being angry and disappointed when you do. Other parents ask about ODD, adoption/attachment issues, wilderness life nuts and bolts, and more.
Jan 19, 2022•57 min
In this webinar, Dr. Brad Reedy reviews the book “What Happened to You” by Dr. Bruce Perry & Oprah Winfrey. Dr. Reedy praised the book as being a great introduction to trauma work while also shifting the narrative away from "What is wrong with you?" toward "What happened to you?" In essence, the book suggests looking at people’s behaviors and struggles through the lens of their history and past experiences instead of looking at them as symptoms. Dr. Reedy discusses how the brain stores traumatic...
Jan 12, 2022•1 hr 9 min
Dr. Brad Reedy discusses school shootings and how to manage your own anxiety about them before trying to help your kids. He also covers how to share your experience with your kids without giving them advice. Says Dr. Reedy, “Mental health is about becoming our most authentic self. At Evoke we don’t think of it as 'being good' or getting the 'right' answer. So the idea of advice doesn’t even fit into our paradigm.” Additionally, he elaborates on how, when it comes to any kind of relationship, tal...
Jan 05, 2022•1 hr 4 min
Dr. Reedy tackles the issue of intimacy and betrayal and couples. He talks about the dynamics that contribute to betrayal in each partner and in the couple. He talks about how problems in a marriage are most often present during courtship, in the early phases of romantic love. Dr. Reedy explains that talking is a taking thing and listening is a giving thing. He also encourages couples to understand the difference between loving and needing. Lastly, he exhorts individuals to do their work, explor...
Dec 29, 2021•1 hr 17 min
Dr. Brad Reedy takes your live and pre-submitted questions. Tonight he addresses an array of topics from how to support a child with a Borderline diagnosis to whether or not to try to prevent your child from running with the "wrong crowd" to the best way to address school shootings with your school-aged children.
Dec 16, 2021•54 min
The Impact of Peer Groups and Milieu on Your Child - Ep 439 by Dr. Brad Reedy
Dec 09, 2021•1 hr 1 min
Dr. Reedy welcomes inner-child coach, Tiffany McKelvy. Tiffany helps the all-grown-up-but-still-very-lost children of toxic family systems find their way home to their most embodied, authentic selves. Through connecting with and reparenting their inner child, these individuals have the opportunity to disrupt the trauma loops that keep parts of us trapped, afraid, and disconnected from the whole of our beings. By engaging in this work, Tiffany’s clients are able to pull themselves out from beneat...
Dec 03, 2021•48 min
Dr. Brad Reedy discusses control vs influence and healthy detachment, and how when you are familiar with these concepts and trying to live them, your boundaries by definition are clearer and better. He also touches on codependency and how it shows up as us giving people what we want or need and calling it helping them. And he tackles the myths and inaccuracies in the phrase “trust the process” when it comes to therapy.
Dec 02, 2021•58 min
Dr. Brad Reedy welcomes Evoke Intensives therapist Alex White to the podcast. Alex is a talented clinician that brings a wealth of passion and experience as a group facilitator and experiential therapist. Alex's warmth, relatability, and professional skills allow him to foster deep connections with Evoke participants. His love for learning and genuine curiosity towards life is palpable. Combined with an extensive clinical background, Alex’s presence and authenticity naturally conveys a feeling o...
Dec 01, 2021•41 min
Dr. Brad Reedy welcomes Evoke Wilderness therapist Anthony Salerno to the podcast. Anthony shares his journey through the ranks of wilderness therapy in becoming a primary therapist. Anthony shares his approach and how he is able to stoke his passion for creating meaningful interventions at the individual, family, and group levels. Combining this rich set of clinical interventions with stories drawn from his own life experiences allows Anthony to guide students and families through the often ard...
Nov 29, 2021•38 min
Tonight, in anticipation of this week’s Thanksgiving holiday Dr. Brad Reedy speaks about how gratitude cannot be forced, how problems cannot be solved at the same level of consciousness at which they were created, and how the most fundamental need is to be truly seen and heard by the ones we love.
Nov 24, 2021•57 min
Dr. Reedy talks about learning how to think, listen, and hear others. He also talks about how a compassionate listening can facilitate healing.
Nov 17, 2021•1 hr 3 min
Dr. Brad Reedy speaks about in-laws: dealing with dynamics, their at times intrusive behaviors, and how to set healthy boundaries with them. Much of our success depends on our ability to ally with our spouse while at the same time holding space for ourselves. He talks us through practical aspects of boundary setting, managing our own guilt, and managing the outside resistance to our boundary-setting.
Nov 10, 2021•1 hr 17 min
Dr. Brad Reedy addresses the question of how giving up—as in letting go of expectations and outcomes—is different than giving up on someone. He also discusses boundaries and how to forgive yourself and accept the complete version of your “horrible, rotten” self no matter how difficult things get at home.
Nov 03, 2021•52 min
Tonight Dr. Brad Reedy talks about school refusal. He suggests that perhaps school refusal isn’t the “problem” but instead is your child’s “solution” to a deeper issue. He offers different ideas to consider such as getting your child tested for learning differences. And he closes by discussing parents’ own evaluation of their goals concerning their children.
Nov 01, 2021•1 hr 5 min
Dr. Brad Reedy welcomes Intensive’s and Coaching therapist Theresa Hasting to the podcast. Theresa shares her journey from parenting education, wilderness therapy, to the birth of Soul Tending Services. She talks about joining the Intensive and Coaching team and explains how she differentiates coaching from counseling and psychotherapy.
Oct 18, 2021•36 min
Helping Your Child by Helping Yourself (Q&A) - Ep 428 by Dr. Brad Reedy
Oct 13, 2021•1 hr 2 min
Dr. Brad Reedy discusses how to cope and respond to siblings who experience trauma because of the disruption caused by an identified patient. He talks about containing reflecting back to the sibling a sense of “okay-ness.” He talks about the pitfalls of trying to force siblings into treatment or to talk about their feelings before they are ready. He also suggests the parents focus on their own regulation as a means of providing children what they need.
Oct 06, 2021•1 hr 16 min
Dr. Reedy takes live question from the audience and talks about the right time to bring a child home after treatment. He talks at length about boundaries and working on yourself. He explains how sibling work is often a parent’s work.
Sep 30, 2021•52 min
Dr. Reedy talks all things enmeshment: What is it? Why does it exist? How to we repair it? How does anxiety and codependency figure into the enmeshment dynamic?
Sep 28, 2021•1 hr 7 min
Dr. Reedy takes live question from the audience and responds to parents who have tried everything. He talks about how doing your work changes you, which may result in changing your relationships with others.
Sep 23, 2021•54 min
Dr. Reedy discussed ways that our children and others manipulate us. He explains what creates our vulnerability to manipulation and the work we need to do to be able to resist losing ourselves in relationship to others.
Sep 21, 2021•1 hr 5 min
