Like Me And You

because we've been friends for so long. You might know him from his documentary about a Pooh from The Simpsons called The Problem with a Pooh, his Netflix stand up special, or from NPRS quiz show Wait Wait, don't tell me, But I know him from our early days in comedy. Ali Wong opening for me seems so much longer ago. Ah, yeah, that seems like a different universe. Her performing after me,

that seems pretty normal. I've gotten pretty but I think about the different openers I've had, either multiple times or even once. It's like Ali Phoebe Robinson a partner on Chair litt So if you want a career open for me, I'll still be here. I'll still be here like me. Harry is also going through his first time as a dad. His son Argent, is almost two years old now Are we young parents or are we newer parents? Were new parents? I am not young anymore. I am I am forty

four years old. I'm not young. After spending all of this time with Raffie, I wasn't quite ready to move on. I needed a debrief, and it turns out Harry was perfect for that. He'd also discovered Raffie through his kid. I wanted to share some of that conversation with you. Maybe he'll help you find some closure too. From My Heart Radio and Fatherly in partnership with Rococo Punch, this is the bonus episode of Finding Raffie. I'm Chris Garcia.

I didn't grow up listening to Raffie like we listened to more Um, what's the name Sharon Lewis and bram Oh, that's what we were doing. It's basically what I'm saying is I eat hydro as a kid, You know what I mean? Nothing against Sharon Lewis and brand, but I just feel like you learn so much more from Raffie. He like he's he actually not only is making songs that are ridiculously catchy that I find myself singing in the middle of the day. Brush your teeth and it's like,

why why am I saying this? I mean and I mean he's the Transformers to their gobots, right, He's just the best being able to Maybe part of it is just being an adult and seeing how much my child loves Raffie, like is happy to hear his voice. He does little things that like like he has weird little performance things, like he'll say something and then like the kids respond and he'd be like third and fourth row got it right. And it's like he says things to

the parents. He does. He does stuff that clearly only the parents would find funny, like we've got a hot crowd here today, and it's like it's like a bunch of kids and fair we got a hot crowd here today cracks me up every time. So you mostly watch the videos? Do you watch the tapes? Is that what you do? Well, it's it's on YouTube. But yeah, Like we've done some of the Broadway raf E Live and Broadway, and I gotta be honest with the production values are

a little too high for my taste. There's other people on stage, there's the unfortunate rap number. Wait, I'm gonna stop you right here, So what's wrong with rapping? Raffi, rapp and Raffie, not on. Come on, Chris, he doesn't make you craze feel a little awkward. Okay, so did you not like it when Dylan went electric? The Raffi plays many different genres and played on his entire life. Rap is it? Oh my gosh. He if there's no okay,

there's no image. Okay, imagine this. You're a small You're a small child in Toronto, right, Yeah, I know it's on Broadway, but your hometown hero Raffi performs Rapp and Raffi. It changes your life forever. If there's no rapp and Raffie, there's no Drake, my friend, I like, this is a young Aubrey Drake Graham was probably sitting on his mom or dad's lap, saw Rap and Raffie and was like, that's it for me. And this is probably changed the

trajectory of his life. There's no rap music without Blondie, with that, without that verse on rapture, rap doesn't exist. Whatever nonsense, Debbie Harry was fitting for the record. Harry and his family prefer a young children's concert with Raffi. Rafi's first recording. He calls it the Blue Tape the Blue tape is just pure songs. There's a little stretching, breathing thing that he does for a little break with

for the kids. Let me see a stretchway out here and a stretched way up there, and while are you're up there? How about a great big son like this? I love it. That's that to me is the raf I wanna I want to think of. Isn't he a masterful performance like I I'll tell you, I'm a Broadway guy, Like that's the one I've seen the most. But the way he can engage children as performers ourselves, I'm like, oh,

this guy's got it. I mean, we're comparing these two specials, but I think for people need to understand in the children's music world, the specials were describing are like raw and delirious to children. Oh yeah, this is we're talking about the two biggest, two of the biggest children's music specials of all time. They're humongous and well, you know, it's interesting. Did you know when you want live on raffing on Broadway? Did you know that he hadn't written

Banana Phone yet? Who isn't that wild? He just pulled a banana. He just did the banana phone and pretended to talk into it as a small bit. The song hadn't even come out yet. Wow, So he's he had been dabbling in banana way before the song. Yeah, yeah, he had been. I mean that was like a little seedling. Yeah, he had some banana stuff in his music before, but it was just it wasn't quite there yet. And probably

he's just like a comic. He's like, I just I gotta throw that bit out there, like because something, something magical might happen if I just throw it out, I'll start improvising. And that night it didn't happen, but who knows, maybe at night a few weeks later he's like, banana Phone, this is it's the premise is killing. The premise is killing. I don't know what's there yet. Maybe I'll write it on stage. Maybe I'll take it back to the mole

skin or back to the lab. And then he comes up with that that album, that whole album, which to me, I've been thinking about it as like one of the greatest comeback albums because I don't know if you know this, but prior to Bananaphone that album, he kind of took a career pivot and made an album for adults, like almost like an environmental protest album. What Yeah, And there's a grown up Beluga track on there. It's called Belugas

after Dark. I don't know if you've heard this. You know, I have found myself listening to Raffy on my own. This sounds crazy, but sometimes in the car it's already on my phone because we play Raffi a lot during um Sunny's bedtime routine. Right, So, even like this morning, I was listening to one of the albums and I

was like, I'm just gonna leave it. It's it's nice and pleasant in traffic and some of the songs I felt like, we're still relevant to me, you know, it's really weird, but then also the musicality of it is quite good. Which one did you feel were like relevant to your life? Well? I listened to One Light, One Sun right, which is a great album. One Light, One Son, one sun Lighting everyone. I mean, that song is very pleasant. I don't know if you've oh, and then like me

and you do you know this song? I don't. I'm not familiar with either of those songs. I'm embarrassed his rendition of take Me Out to the Ball game. Oh, I gotta hear that. Have you heard that one? No? I should though, Okay, take me out to the ball game, Take me out with the crowd, buy me some peanuts and cracker jack. I don't care if I never get back with the root root root for the home team. If they don't win, it's a shame for it's one, two, three strikes. You're out at the old ball game. Oh,

it's like so epic and sweeping. And then the harmonies of the front are so good that and I was like, I love that song, and I was like, I'm gonna let this bump. But the one that really hits me in the heart um, which is one of the many reasons I love Raffi is that he's like, to me, the real formative stuff is Mr. Rogers and the Muppets and stuff, which was really fantastic. But the inclusivity of Raffie in this song is just very wonderful. And I'll

play a little bit of it right here. Jing lives in China, Olga lives in Russia, Rid lives in Germany, Keita lives in Indeed, Pablo lives in Spain, Jose lives in Cologne, and each one is much like another child of a mother and a father, very special son or daughter, a lot like me and you. And that's just like, I think, that's just such a beautiful sentiment. And you know, for kids all over the world to hear names of other kids and stuff, and here like you know, Mosha,

geta Pablo, like all these different names. I was in traffic and I was just like, I'm so calm, and I'm like, it's okay, cut me off, buddy. We're all just we're all just small children on this big spinning ball, you know what I mean. It's just really beautiful. I just I was thinking about the time period that he's doing this and why that makes it even more important. It's like he's saying to all these different, you know, types of kids who might be listening, I see you,

and all of you are the same. All of you are children. I care for all of you, and I'm I'm potentially mentioning your name or your heritage. And that is so especially when you're a kid who you know and you know, I've talked about this in various capacities, who doesn't have representation as a kid RAFFI saying like I'm from Egypt, Like that's a huge deal. Like, oh my god, I'm I'm from Israel, I'm I'm from India,

Like that's such a big deal. Like it's huge. The music, it just it hits, you know, on so many levels for these children. And you know, when I see Raffie, it's funny because it's not that he's raceless, but it almost feels like he's Raffie, Like can Mickey Mouse be racialized? Do you know what I mean? Like there's there's a degree of like he's it's he has is such a figure you don't even associate like human traits with him.

And then you step back and it's like, that's pretty incredible that a dude that has this incredible life story has a you know, Armenian born in Cairo, immigrant to Canada, and he's singing these songs that are resonating from with children all over the world. That's incredible. It's beautiful. I'm gonna switch gears for a second and I want to talk to you about parenting for a moment. How would

you describe your parenting style? It's hard because I've been thinking a lot about like, am I doing enough lots of cuddling? Lots of hugging, lots of laughing and dancing. We played little games, We have inside jokes, a lot of silliness. The thing I feel like I am lacking is I not, It's it's something that I've been talking to with my partner and she's generous and that she says, like every parent has their journey, you know, and it doesn't need to be the same. But I feel like

I'm not adding enough substance to his life. And you know, I mean to be fair, like I'm usually the one who does the mornings, so I'm waking up at five thirty or six thirty am or whatever it is, and at that point, you know, I'm just trying to get through the morning, you know what I mean, and just stay conscious. But I feel like I I want to give him more. I feel like my parenting style is a little too lax. And granted he's one, you know,

he there's a lot more to come. And you know he can't talk yet, and you know the books are going to get you know he's gonna be able to actually understand them. So you're like, you read Howard's into him, but you're not sure if he's understanding it. I don't think he's getting it. Honestly, don't think he's getting it. But don't you Okay, so you feel like you're a lax parent and in the morning you're just you're just

waking up and you're just being there with him. But don't you think there is something to like free exploration and not trying to force learning onto him or anything, and just allowing him to explore the world on his own. Yeah, No, certainly there's some of that, and he does that, But I do think, I don't know, there are times where I see him trying to get my attention and I I feel like, oh, man, like, how long has he been trying to get my attention? And where was I?

And so I don't know if that answers your question about parenting style. I'm being polite to myself by saying I'm a lax parent. My goal is to be a more attentive, thoughtful, and deliberate parent. I feel like I'm working towards that. Well. I think you should be easy on yourself because it is very difficult to be a parent, and it's also hard to manage your career and be a parent at the same time. I think you should be a little gentle with yourself about this. I'm a

very loving parent. I know that, and I know that whenever he sees me, we're silly and we have a fun time, and that's great. But I don't want to start the trend of I don't worry. That's just my dad, that's just the guy hang out with. But do you

have any questions? Ask mom over there? Do you think like the way your parent was affected by how you were raised and a positive And my mom was always very physical with us, lots of hugs, lots of like she was just around us all the time, like me and my brother are very close and and very close to our mom. You know, Dad was less present in terms of parenting, like he was there, but like Mom did the work. Mom did the actual like play with kids, teach the kids, feed the kids, you know what I mean.

So I think I learned that in terms of the kind of parent I wanted to be was it was a parent the kid could trust and who like felt relaxed and who had a good time with the kid, like I'm hanging out with dad and that's fun. I think what I also learned is what I didn't want, like you know my dad, I wish she was like, my dad is incredibly hands on with my with my kid,

like he's an incredible grandfather. And he's even said, you know, I spend more time with origin than I did when you were a kid, And I'm like, oh, I know me and my therapist no, And you know, so I think I also learned like I don't want to be someone who doesn't take part, and I want to feed my child and I want to you know, um change my child's diapers and put my child to sleep. Yeah. Sort I don't think my dad hadn't changed the diaper either, And I don't think my dad really um fed me either.

It probably defaulted to my mom. But I know, I know that my dad had a rough childhood, and I know that part of that. My mom explained to me that my dad was scared to hurt me or drop me or mess up like when I was very young,

when I was a very young baby. And it's one of my favorite things about parenting is to be like, um, think about the past and everything that had happened in the past, and maybe go, you know, if things could be different, maybe this is a way to do it, or this is a way to do it in a lovelier, more empathetic way. Um, is that something I should talk to my therapist about? Or is that is that right here? Um, I'm always gonna say yes. I think it's it's good

that you verbalize. Now, this is a good test run for when you do you think respect was present in your household when you're growing up, because this is the thing that I think about raf He talks about a lot um about respecting the whole child and respecting the plan and everything, and it's so much of what this part the theme of this podcast is, But do you felt like you were respected as a child and growing up? Huh? Respected?

That is a really good question, and that you know, I think I think we all grew up one with patriarchy in different ways, and I certainly grew up with a bit of that, But I also grew up with this idea of you know, older people are to be respected, you know, you have to be polite, you don't question, Um, it was there was definitely like a power thing based

on like those kinds of divisions. So the idea of a child being respected is really tricky because it's not how I grew up with the idea of respect rescept respect. It goes to your parents. Respect goals to your older siblings if you have any or older like elderly people. Respect goes to your teachers or so. It's the idea of you know, being given respect. I don't even I don't. Honestly, I feel strange. I don't know how to process that.

Isn't it interesting? That's how when I first started thinking about it, I kind of didn't know how to answer it either, because it always is the other way around with kids will define respect? Oh man, um, how do I define respect? Um? I guess is it just boiled down to treating people in a fair way that they would like to be treated, you know? Um, I don't, no, man. And also culture, look culture, it looks different. Respect looks different. I mean, I God, that's a that question is going

to be in my head after this podcast? Did I I got love? I was allowed to do so much of what I wanted to do. I was given items like toys and whatever I really needed. My parents were doubly hard. I was respected. I mean, I think my mom's ability to talk to me and my brother like adults at a younger age, maybe a sign of a degree of respect, not simply I'm the parent, this is the power, this is the line. But it's you know, being able to spend time with your kids and have

honest conversations. Maybe it's a sign of respect. I don't know. It isn't to unpack. And you know, parents are just trying their best, and immigrant parents have it. I mean, that's just the crazy experience you can have is because you come here. You know, my parents barely spoken any in English and they were trying to um support me. Well, what do what do our parents know about raising American kids? Exactly?

They only know from what how they were raised. They were just trying the best they could and within the framework that they kind of understood, you know. But I

think that's the only thing otherwise. I think they always really uh you know, really love me and we're very respectful, but sometimes like maybe emotionally, um they would either be like, oh, you know, rub some dirt on it, or you're fine or something, and that kind of invalidates your feelings when when you're a child, you know, I mean I almost would I can imagine asking or saying something like that,

like don't like, where is the where's my respect. If I was to say that, I can't even imagine the reaction, Like, what the hell does respect have to do with this? What is you're the kid? What respect are you supposed to get as a kid? Like I can already imagine like that being such a bizarre kind of expectation. We don't need to respect you. We feed you, you're live, you go to school, you get toys, you take care of you when you're sick. What do you mean respect?

What the hell do you want? Do you want us to bow to you when we see you, your majesty maharaj? Like, what is it that you need? Like it's not even part of the equation, Chris, That's why I'm so thrown by it. It's really true. But I mean, I would hope that when my child looks back on his relationship with me, that he does feel that I respected him

as a person. And it's not to say that I was willing to let him do whatever he wanted and that his wishes are law, but that like I respected the fact that he was having an experience as a human being in the world and was trying to navigate it, just like I tried to navigate the world and like I tried to navigate being a kid, My job is to support that child and to ask questions and not just dictate. And I hope you see the father that does that does respect him, obviously loves him and tried

as hard as they could. And I hope my kid knows that I gave it all I had. I was a really beautiful sentiment. Can I Can I say one more thing to close? Yes, Chris, I just gotta say, this was a hot today. Oh, thank you rapping Harry, thank you about a hot crowd here today. We had a hot crowd here today. Chris finding Raffie is a production of My Heart Radio and Fatherly in partnership with Rococo Punch. It's produced by Catherine Findalosa, Meredith Hanig, and

James Trout. Production assistance from Charlotte Livingston. Alex French is our story consultant. Our senior producer is Andrea swahe Emily Foreman is our editor. Fact checking by Andrea Lopez Crusado. Rapha's music is courtesy of Troubadour Music Special thanks to Kim Layton at Troubadour. Our Executive producers are Jessica Albert and John Parotti at Rococo, punch Ty Trimble, Mike Rothman and Jeff Eisenman at Fatherly and Me. Chris Garcia, thank

you for listening. Thank you very much. Thanks right right on RYE CEO. Thanks to gain H