Beth

They'd throw her to the ground, off a chair, a fork would go flying, whatever was in her hand. It was, you know, not a good time. The day we left Johns Hopkins, their last words to us, um it was go home and enjoy life and let's hope she has ten good years. And then that was in seven and Beth just turned forty. Thanks Mar and Gathy. Just more keep that off the podcast. I'm Carla Wallace and this is Finding Fred, a podcast about Fred Rogers from I

Heart Media and Fatherly in partnership with Transmitter Media. Today. Just one story I really wish I could remember. I was so young at the time about Fred Rogers and a kid named Beth. I only remember through stories that Mom and Dad told me. It's slowly built up to where she was having over a hundred seizures a day, some so severe they would knock her down and she would be flailing, and we were worried she couldn't breathe.

And I would go into grocery stores or church or whatever, and people would look at me and look at her because she was black and blue from head to toe from falling. We were watching this deterioration happened, and every time we went to the doctor, they had no idea what was going on. It was so crazy that we even tore apart of bedroom, thinking maybe she was bit by a spider. Maybe there was a spider in the room.

You know. We were constantly calling all over the place to try to learn of new drugs, new studies being done. Didn't you doctor was checking and go into the library. I even borrowed a doctor's lab coat and broke into Yale University's medical library because they weren't allowed owing anybody in there. We felt like we were on Twilight Zone because here something is obviously eating away at our child's brain.

We're watching it happen, you think like you have an ill child and the world should come together and make this child better. But no one had any idea what

was going on. We tried just about everything and um in order for us to get ready for work in the morning, we had to PLoP Beth up with a bunch of pillows in front of the television set, and we instructed her older brother, he's Brian, he's older by two and a half years, to sit with her with his arms around her, and they were surrounded by pillows watching Mr Rogers neighborhood and he called, he said, mom, and I came running immediately, and he said Mr. Wadgers

is over with and Beth didn't have a seizure. And then the next day the same thing happened, and the next day after that, I said, this is very peculiar. So then I sat down with her and I just looked at her, and her eyes were just she was inside that television screen, and it was like that he was talking directly to her, even so that when he would ask a question like shall we feed the fish today,

Beth would say, yes, we should. And at the end of every episode he would say, I love you, just the way you are, and Beth would say, I love you too, Mr Rogers, and she would not have one seizure. After two and a half years of research, constant seizures, and makes of treatments, Beth and her parents finally got a diagnosis rest Mussan's encephalitis. It's an extremely rare and progressive disease that attacks the brain. The only treatment is at that time, was to remove the entire left side

of her brain. You just can't fathom that type of surgery. And I couldn't imagine doing that left there. So now we're not doing that. We even consulted a neurosurgeon at Yale who said that they would not even put a dog through that. And then Bethy kept getting worse, and I mean impacted her whole life, I mean her learning her friendships. It was. It was a nightmare. We were all petrified. We didn't go anywhere. We shut down as a family. Um, we were afraid to leave her anywhere.

We didn't. One of us was with her all the time around the cloth. Yeah. Finally, I think what pushed us over the edge. It was a holiday show and BETHI had prepared for it and singing a song with her classmates. I think you were in what first grade at the time, and it was bomb remember that. And so the night of the show, we were there and she has a seizure right in the middle. Bow had to help her fixed seizure, and she looked at us and said, I ruined the whole thing. And she said,

these seizures, I just want them to go away. So they decided to go ahead with the brain surgery known as a hemisphere ectomy, and they scheduled it for the following February. That gave them two months at home with Beth before the surgery. We knew that there was a possibility that Beth could fall into a coma, she could be paralyzed for life, and she could even die from this surgery. We wanted to make the time before her

surgery spectacular. So Cathy found the number for Fred Rogers TV station and explained to his assistant that her daughter was going in for a horrendous surgery. Kathy asked for an autograph photo of Mr Rogers to tape up in the hospital room, and she said, I will, you know, talk to Fred and get back to you. And maybe an hour later I got a call and she said, Fred is going to call Beth at seven o'clock this evening. Is that good for you? And I said he's going

to call her. The phone rang and I picked it up and I said to Beth, Beth, a friend is calling for you. And at this point Beth had no friends, so thinking that a friend was on the line was really unbelievable. And she ran over and I gave her the phone and she's skilled, it's squilled Mr Rogers. Bummy, dad, it's Mr Rogers. Brian and I left the room. We were peeking over around the corner because she we wanted her to have this real, genuine conversation with him. Was

over an hour. She was talking to each and every character on Mr Rogers and Neighborhood, and all of a sudden we heard her say, I'm afraid I'm going to die and leave my brother and my parents. And then we heard her say really, Mr Rogers, really, King Friday, and she hung up the phone saying I love you too, Mr Rogers, thank you so much. I love you King Friday. I love you Elaine Lady Elaine fear Child, and I love you Daniel Strike Tiger, thank you for calling me.

And I am going to be okay, and she hung up the phone and we were in a puddle. We just couldn't believe it. That February, the family made the trip to Johns Hopkins for the surgery. The operation was long, about twelve hours, and at first things for Beth looked good. The surgery went well, and then later that night she fell into a deep coma. We were killing ourselves, like, what did we do? You know, at that point we

thought for sure we made the wrong decision. We were begging, praying to God, please just let her wake up from this. If she can't walk or talk, we don't care, just let her come out of it. And we did not leave her side. We were in the intensive care the entire time. Brian and Cathy said at Beth's bedside night after night for weeks, and one source of constant comfort

was the music of Mr Rogers. Before her surgery, after he spoke to her on the phone, he sent her a huge box of tapes, cassette tapes, and we had this little tiny Fisher Price battery operated tape player, and all around the clock we would play songs. It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. You can go down, You'll never go down the drain, and we would play them

over and over when she was in a coma. One of my vivid memories is going into the intensive care unit and she was strapped up to every thing imaginable, all kinds of I v s and her head was swollen like three times the size. Her eyes were swollen shut, and you could hear the beep beep beep of the heart monitor and the dripping of all the i vs. And in the background you hear there are many ways to say I love you, Mr Rogers in the backgrounds.

That was constantly going on in the room. Anyways, anyways, more from the Ushers in just a minute, love you. After her brain surgery, Beth Usher fell into a deep coma. Her parents, Kathy and Brian, kept Mr Rogers music playing in her room. One night, a nurse came into Beth's room and said, Cathy, there's a man with a voice sounding like Mr Rogers, claiming he is Fred Rogers and he'd like to speak with you. And I went to the desk and I picked it up and he said, Cathy,

this is Fred, and I'm getting concerned. I wanted to find out how Beth was, and I said, um, thank you so much for calling, but unfortunately there were major complications and Beth has been in a coma now for a couple of weeks. And he said, I'd like to come. I won't stay long, I promise, and um, so we said okay. So a couple of days later and he

walked with a clarinet case. He placed it on Beth's bed and he opened it slowly and took out King Friday, Lady Elaine Fairchild, Daniel Striped Tiger, and Mio Mio pussy Gat and Beth had her own neighborhood's show. I just remember he was so genuinely concerned about Beth. He insisted we take pictures with the puppets and Beth he's got her feeding tube and she's hooked up the machines. And I think what touched me the most was when he sang,

I love you just the way you are. It was my dad, your mom, a few of my sisters, and we were just outside the door of the room, and I remember hearing that outside the door, and I looked around at everybody, and even my dad had tears streaming down their faces, and I remember just thinking, what am I seeing here, this is incredible, and I honestly believed Beth was going to wake up, that's how magical it was.

And when she didn't, I'm sorry, Mom, you know um, but I remember afterwards we held hands around her bed and we prayed, and that really gave us so much comfort. I just remember feeling as though things are going to be okay. Don't don't worry. It has a happy ending. Beth Asher finally came out of her coma about three weeks later. Mr George left all of his puppets. Oh on my bed should I wouldn't wake up and be alone?

So I knew he came somehow. The surgery um it left her hemiplegic, paralyzed on the right side, but it also took away her right field of vision in both eyes and and speaking and speaking because half of her tongue is paralyzed. I talk it goodly now, but her hearing is perfect, So it's now. Beth and Mr Rogers corresponded throughout the years. He wrote many, many letters and even called Beth birthday. Kathy and I both worked at

the University of Connecticut. Mom was put in charge of finding someone for the commencement speaking, and so I suggested, why not get Mr Rodgels and my mom and my dad will both nervous that college kids I won't get to listen to Mr Rodgels, And I said, no, no, I think they'll listen. So I went ahead. I wrote him a little He got right back to me, and he said he would be delighted to, under one circumstance, if I help him write his commencement address. I was

only two, you know, jow it at the time. So Mr Rogers came and Brian and I have been involved and intended a lot of graduation ceremonies, and we could never quite hear the commencement address. The champagne corks going off, the balloons and balls that are being bounced around in this ceremony, you could hear a pin drop. And during the address, he pointed to Beth in the audience and he said, these words were provided to me by my

good friend Beth Usher. And what what what was the main point of your advice to him when you wrote back to him, do small kind each for other people. Then they'll do small kind eats for other people and maybe we'll start a chain reaction. And he also did the take a moment to think about someone who helped you. Fred Rogers did this often in speeches, asked crowds to sit quietly and reflect on the people they love and

the people who love them. Like in this commencement address at Dartmouth College, I'd like to give you all an invisible gift, a gift of a silent minute to think about those who have helped you become who you are today. Wherever they are, if they've loved you and encouraged you and wanted what was best in life for you, they're right inside yourself, and I feel that you deserve quiet time on this special occasion to devote some thought to them.

So let's just take a minute in honor of those who have heard about us all along the way, one silent minute. I have goose bumps now when you look around at the audiences and students and parents, you just see them like these big burly football basketball athletes with

tears streaming down their eyes. Um when when they were asked to think about somebody who really helped them along the way, Whomever you've been thinking about, Imagine how grateful they must be that during your silent times you remember how important they are to you. At the end of the speech that Mr Rodgers gave, the President of Yukon gave Mr Rodgers a present and it was this engraved jewelry box and he hands it to my brother Brian

and said keep it until we meet again. He was so aware that Beth's brother was kind of in the background, and everybody was paying so much attention to Bath, as they should. He made a point of asking him about his life, about what he enjoyed doing, and Mr Rogers paying attention to him really was huge, and he knew that. One day I came home from work. I was making dinner.

I remember it profoundly. I was trying to make spaghetti and meatballs, and I was rushing around multitasking, and the phone rang and I picked it up, and he said, Kathy, is this a good time to talk? This is Fred And I went, oh, no, Fred, this is perfect. How are you? He said, I just have a quick question. Beth and Brian seemed to have such great self esteem, and I just want to know what your philosophy is and how you go about raising your children to have

such great self esteem. And I'm going on and on and in the meantime, Brian comes home from work and he's kind of listening to my side of the conversation. And I said, okay, Fred, oh, of to you and Joanne and and I hung up the phone. And Brian said to me, who were you talking to? And I said Mr Rogers And he said you we're telling Mr Rogers about children and self esteem like and afterward I went, oh, my goodness, what did I say. I'm telling the Guru of children. Um. But that that was how he was.

He didn't feel he had all the answers he was asking everybody else. Fred was always learning, always curious, always listening, and he was always there. I mean, there's so many stories about Fred showing up in surprising places, about his kindness to people that he didn't even know. Kindness and presence were what Fred believed in, maybe because that's what God was for him, what goodness really meant, love and of availability. So that's what he did as much as

he could in person and through his show. Next time. Fred didn't call Mr Rogers Neighborhood a show, and he didn't call it a program. What he called it was a television visit. Think of what a visit is. A visit is you and me together. He was talking with us, not to us. Finding Fred is produced by Transmitter Media. This episode was produced by Jordan Bailey. Our editor is Sarah Nick's Special thanks to Michael Garofolo. The executive producer

for Transmitter Media is Greta Cone. Executive producers at Fatherly are Simon Isaacs and Andrew Berman. Thanks to the team at I Heeart Media, and thanks also to Beth Brian and Kathy Usher. Our show is mixed by Rick Kwan, music by Blue Dot Sessions and Alison Layton Brown. I'm Carver Wallace. Thank you for listening.